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Detective
01-17-2006, 03:51 AM
Guys,
I have a question for ya.... U have discussed age difference between men and women... I am actually 28 now and I am dating an extremely nice polish woman but she is around 5 years older than me.... We just met each other and she seems to be nice.... she is a doctor. I actually felt we could be more than friends but I would love to hear your comments about the age difference... I honestly find women <30 not grown up enough for me... I feel they're kinda immature to carry on... My question is: will I regret this relationship when I am 35 and she is 40 whereas I could marry a 25 year old girl! To me age is not important but I'd love to hear more senior opinion about that... and thanks to everyone for sharing his/her opinion with me

ham
01-17-2006, 04:40 AM
it depends entirely on the 2 people involved.
[u]however</u>
if you think of marriage or some long term relationship, it is indeed possible (if it lasts of course)that ten or so years ahead you may think otherwise.
take your time and don't commit permanently.

ham
01-17-2006, 04:40 AM
it depends entirely on the 2 people involved.
[u]however</u>
if you think of marriage or some long term relationship, it is indeed possible (if it lasts of course)that ten or so years ahead you may think otherwise.
take your time and don't commit permanently.

lonelyboy
01-17-2006, 07:18 AM
Ask her opinion too. Use more time. The time will show you.
Many men like older and mature women. It is not true that all like "teenagers". My aunt is 18 years older than her husband. They have been married for 35 years and will never separate.
Probably your woman likes the situation.

lonelyboy
01-17-2006, 07:18 AM
Ask her opinion too. Use more time. The time will show you.
Many men like older and mature women. It is not true that all like "teenagers". My aunt is 18 years older than her husband. They have been married for 35 years and will never separate.
Probably your woman likes the situation.

Detective
01-17-2006, 11:02 AM
Thanks guys... very helpful;)

Detective
01-17-2006, 11:02 AM
Thanks guys... very helpful;)

elenag
01-20-2006, 10:26 PM
quote:Originally posted by lonelyboy.
My aunt is 18 years older than her husband. They have been married for 35 years and will never separate.

That's nice.
Mr. Ham, what is your opinion on this age gap marriage? Is her husband a gold digger or a mentally disturbed individual? What valid reasons would he have to marry a lady his senior by 18 years? And how soon shall we expect the husband (i am guessing he is the "meat" in this case) to get tired of his aging wife and leave? And let's don't forget the diapers question...

elenag
01-20-2006, 10:26 PM
quote:Originally posted by lonelyboy.
My aunt is 18 years older than her husband. They have been married for 35 years and will never separate.

That's nice.
Mr. Ham, what is your opinion on this age gap marriage? Is her husband a gold digger or a mentally disturbed individual? What valid reasons would he have to marry a lady his senior by 18 years? And how soon shall we expect the husband (i am guessing he is the "meat" in this case) to get tired of his aging wife and leave? And let's don't forget the diapers question...

Detective
01-20-2006, 11:10 PM
Elenag,
I think that marrying a woman who is 18 years older than me is something really I prefer not to happen. I don't want a woman in her late 40's.... I think it is something very strange but I did not comment on that coz it is not my business....

Detective
01-20-2006, 11:10 PM
Elenag,
I think that marrying a woman who is 18 years older than me is something really I prefer not to happen. I don't want a woman in her late 40's.... I think it is something very strange but I did not comment on that coz it is not my business....

elenag
01-20-2006, 11:25 PM
thank you for your opinion, Detective.
however I am more interested in Mr. Ham's opinion.

elenag
01-20-2006, 11:25 PM
thank you for your opinion, Detective.
however I am more interested in Mr. Ham's opinion.

Dag
01-21-2006, 02:56 AM
28 and 33 isnt too bad.....48 and 53 is pushing it

Dag
01-21-2006, 02:56 AM
28 and 33 isnt too bad.....48 and 53 is pushing it

ham
01-21-2006, 08:30 AM
quote:Originally posted by elenag


quote:Originally posted by lonelyboy.
My aunt is 18 years older than her husband. They have been married for 35 years and will never separate.

That's nice.
Mr. Ham, what is your opinion on this age gap marriage? Is her husband a gold digger or a mentally disturbed individual? What valid reasons would he have to marry a lady his senior by 18 years? And how soon shall we expect the husband (i am guessing he is the "meat" in this case) to get tired of his aging wife and leave? And let's don't forget the diapers question...



hmmm
let's put it this way.
i have a relative who lives abroad.
his mother never was a good mother (always travelling for fun or some charity involvement ); she neglected her family; there were heavy family feuds.
To this add immigration problems (they were italians who emigrated abroad very young and were discriminated ) with ripercussions onto her children (both children refused to learn italian...what a joke ).
Ok.
That man is now 39 or 40.
For at least eight or nine years he has been in a relationship with a woman the same age of my mother, EG 25 years older.
If we look back in HIS life, we see a very poor bond with his father (they tried to kill each other several times ).
At age 16 or whatever he attempted suicide because a girl had dumped him.
His mother -puzzled & offended- sought professional advice but every psychotherapist in town told her HE is simply after a second mom, the motherly presence he never had in his life...plus the burden of his other inadequacies.
I have seen his "girlfriend" once and she looks like the motherly figure (characher-wise) he supposedly needs.

Elenag, you can act pissed as much as you want, but the truth remains.
I tend to prefer (although everyone would do) more mature women (NOT that kind of "more" however ) because they (tend to be on average) more stable than teeners or young girls...of whom i've grown tired mainly because of unsuccessful experiences i had.
So between two women with similar looks and in (reasonably) good shape, but one is 18 and the next is 30, i'd opt for the 30; 30+ is even better; 35-40 better again. No, 50 is not the same.

Thinking that individuals act out of fictitious spiritual or philosophical values as the DRIVING exclusive force is silly...psychology plays a big role, although we won't admit it to ourselves first.

for example, getting married to bail out of one's country as the preminent reason is an example.

ham
01-21-2006, 08:30 AM
quote:Originally posted by elenag


quote:Originally posted by lonelyboy.
My aunt is 18 years older than her husband. They have been married for 35 years and will never separate.

That's nice.
Mr. Ham, what is your opinion on this age gap marriage? Is her husband a gold digger or a mentally disturbed individual? What valid reasons would he have to marry a lady his senior by 18 years? And how soon shall we expect the husband (i am guessing he is the "meat" in this case) to get tired of his aging wife and leave? And let's don't forget the diapers question...



hmmm
let's put it this way.
i have a relative who lives abroad.
his mother never was a good mother (always travelling for fun or some charity involvement ); she neglected her family; there were heavy family feuds.
To this add immigration problems (they were italians who emigrated abroad very young and were discriminated ) with ripercussions onto her children (both children refused to learn italian...what a joke ).
Ok.
That man is now 39 or 40.
For at least eight or nine years he has been in a relationship with a woman the same age of my mother, EG 25 years older.
If we look back in HIS life, we see a very poor bond with his father (they tried to kill each other several times ).
At age 16 or whatever he attempted suicide because a girl had dumped him.
His mother -puzzled & offended- sought professional advice but every psychotherapist in town told her HE is simply after a second mom, the motherly presence he never had in his life...plus the burden of his other inadequacies.
I have seen his "girlfriend" once and she looks like the motherly figure (characher-wise) he supposedly needs.

Elenag, you can act pissed as much as you want, but the truth remains.
I tend to prefer (although everyone would do) more mature women (NOT that kind of "more" however ) because they (tend to be on average) more stable than teeners or young girls...of whom i've grown tired mainly because of unsuccessful experiences i had.
So between two women with similar looks and in (reasonably) good shape, but one is 18 and the next is 30, i'd opt for the 30; 30+ is even better; 35-40 better again. No, 50 is not the same.

Thinking that individuals act out of fictitious spiritual or philosophical values as the DRIVING exclusive force is silly...psychology plays a big role, although we won't admit it to ourselves first.

for example, getting married to bail out of one's country as the preminent reason is an example.

Chedz
01-21-2006, 12:38 PM
We are all the sum of our experiences. These experiences vary greatly from person to person and from men to women. I had a relationship with 30+ lady who had never been married, no children, stable upbringing, but she was incredibly immature. I have also had relationships with ladies who were 10+ years younger than me, one of which acted like a woman in her 50's. So I don't think there is a definitive answer. As long as each partner brings the things to the relationship that the other is looking for then what does it matter how old they are (within reason). I think the perceived problem is formed by others looking in on the relationship not by the two people involved.

As for the future, who knows. Things that we fear are rarely as bad as we imagine.

Chedz
01-21-2006, 12:38 PM
We are all the sum of our experiences. These experiences vary greatly from person to person and from men to women. I had a relationship with 30+ lady who had never been married, no children, stable upbringing, but she was incredibly immature. I have also had relationships with ladies who were 10+ years younger than me, one of which acted like a woman in her 50's. So I don't think there is a definitive answer. As long as each partner brings the things to the relationship that the other is looking for then what does it matter how old they are (within reason). I think the perceived problem is formed by others looking in on the relationship not by the two people involved.

As for the future, who knows. Things that we fear are rarely as bad as we imagine.

blackrose
01-21-2006, 01:51 PM
I agree with Chedz. It all depends on the people involved. I also have dated women younger and older. It is up to you as a person to answer in your own mind. If your mate is much older then it is up to you to think of the consequences and resulting difficulties. Your partner also should realize the differences and obvious difficulties. If for the two people involved it all works. Go for it!! What is gold to one person is poison to another. There is no right or wrong answer. Most debate is driven more by outside people than the two people involved people involved!! If you find a true relation that is sincere and works both ways who gives a rats butt what anyone else thinks!!!

blackrose
01-21-2006, 01:51 PM
I agree with Chedz. It all depends on the people involved. I also have dated women younger and older. It is up to you as a person to answer in your own mind. If your mate is much older then it is up to you to think of the consequences and resulting difficulties. Your partner also should realize the differences and obvious difficulties. If for the two people involved it all works. Go for it!! What is gold to one person is poison to another. There is no right or wrong answer. Most debate is driven more by outside people than the two people involved people involved!! If you find a true relation that is sincere and works both ways who gives a rats butt what anyone else thinks!!!

friendly_aussie_man
01-24-2006, 07:56 AM
[8D]The discussion of age difference is an age old topic.
Personally I think an age difference of a maximum of 15 years between the man and woman is appropriate...I think for example if you are 40 years old, you should seek no younger than a 25 year old woman and it increases with age..i.e at 50 years, 35 year old woman.
I don't agree with 55 year old farts marrying 20 year old teeny boppers..its stupid and will never work..no real young girl of that age would want to make out with such an old dinosaur but some Russian teeny boppers will marry the old dinosuar for his money but its not real love going on here..its being done for the love of money!
There is an age difference of 13 years between me and my girl friend but she has always prefered older men and she has had older boy friends than me and I asked do there dicks still work?
Generally th closer the age difference the less liley of a generation gap and the more likely it will work but it also depends very much on personalities and compatability of thereto! [8D]

friendly_aussie_man
01-24-2006, 07:56 AM
[8D]The discussion of age difference is an age old topic.
Personally I think an age difference of a maximum of 15 years between the man and woman is appropriate...I think for example if you are 40 years old, you should seek no younger than a 25 year old woman and it increases with age..i.e at 50 years, 35 year old woman.
I don't agree with 55 year old farts marrying 20 year old teeny boppers..its stupid and will never work..no real young girl of that age would want to make out with such an old dinosaur but some Russian teeny boppers will marry the old dinosuar for his money but its not real love going on here..its being done for the love of money!
There is an age difference of 13 years between me and my girl friend but she has always prefered older men and she has had older boy friends than me and I asked do there dicks still work?
Generally th closer the age difference the less liley of a generation gap and the more likely it will work but it also depends very much on personalities and compatability of thereto! [8D]