View Full Version : please help
03-04-2007, 01:39 PM
Ok, i'm at my wits end on this, and i really need some experienced advice, so pls if anyone can help me i would appreciate something that would reveal the truth of this: I contacted this woman that i saw on MYForeignBride, she replied. Her profile said Donesk, I believe, but she immediately told me that she was attending her 5th year at the UNiversity in Lugansk, and will soon graduate. We've corresponded for lil over 3 mos. She has asked for money, ie 300 USD, after about 25 emails, for rent. Told her no. We kept email though, and then she told me that she had to move as couldn't afford that flat. Her email then changed as did the header address. All letters have been genuine no paste jobs. We've now started, yahoo chatting frequently. Many good signs, but red flags also. Won't give me address yet, have asked twice, said nothing is safe in mail to her anyway. Says she uses internet cafe..1st one was 4/139 Frunze St. Lugansk...2nd is Mirniy 14/80 are these addresses cafe's? Can I do a reverse email check in Ukraine, don't think so. Just need help here, will give you all info i can to help this along, lots of time invested here.
03-04-2007, 01:48 PM
Oh, yes, i've spent countless hours in the last months looking at known photos of scammers, ican't match them with any of these pic i have, but might just be a new face that hasn't been exposed yet. She's a hhhmmmm 7 of 1-10.
According to great numbers ( and conpeople do play many men at once ), these scammers (and anyone asking strangers for money over the internet is a scammer) can easily make a living ( 2004 UA salary was $103 a month ) feeding fantasies to lovesick western men.
Barney won't send money, but Wong will send $50, Pedro $300 and Leroy $500...
The fact s-he ( you have no proof it's not Igor yanking your chain ) gave you the address of a cafe (or not ) doesn't matter...i can give you an embassy address i googled minutes ago, but i'm no ambassador.
The fact you latch onto this fantasy of yours shows that you are chasing a dream.
What hints do you need?
Her mother squashed by a truck, thus in need of a new spine?
Her daddy is queer and needs a sex change in Brazil?
Reality check needed.
03-04-2007, 06:55 PM
HHmmmm, it's all so simple now. Thanks Ham. Really though, I was hoping for something a lil more concrete. I guess I'll just go with a phone call for now, and make it the lands's end question if she won't give me a # to call her. I can understand your philosophy, if (they ask for money = scammer) but is someone that you've had 50 "real" emails with, and chatted with for 10 hours over a couple a weeks a stranger. Maybe??? If I needed a reality check I don't think I would be investigating the truth; I realize that this could still be Yuri, or her trying to scam me, we've talked about that too. When were you scammed, it must have hurt.
feel free to chase your illusion.
quote: but is someone that you've had 50 "real" emails with, and chatted with for 10 hours over a couple a weeks a stranger. Maybe???
you are really easy to please, so go ahead.
I found fraud even after 100 emails or 100 chat sessions.
you feel free to feel as if you're blood relatives.
Since you're so convinced, just go ahead & find out.
quote:I was hoping for something a lil more concrete.
hop on plane to find out: that is being the most concrete. What do you expect, Igor's blood smears test posting on an internet forum?
If searching the net gives no hints, what could people do?
quote:When were you scammed, it must have hurt.
I gave LD/WWW dating up MANY YEARS ago.
Monetary just one: i wasted a few 100's on a FSUW i knew was real because i had her investigated & met personally, but that didn't help.
My fault: i was in bad psychological shape in 1999 and wanted to chase a dream.
Many have it worse: the last one i heard of sent UK?20.000.
I wouldn't bet a dime on [u]any</u> WWW/LD "relationship".
As someone told me ages ago, it's full of jokers and vultures and disturbed individuals online.
If one has reasons to seek online a shoulder to cry upon, love, friendship or else, WWW it's the worst place.
Then what, you perhaps see her (they/him/It) listed as a scammer, confront her and ger back a disgruntled answer saying you're a bitter man without trust and that her case has been reported by a lusty, angry man "only because" she wouldn't have anal sex with him...satisfied?
But as i said, go ahead and prove me wrong, living the dream in my face.
03-05-2007, 10:56 AM
Ham, i want to thank you for your insight, i have sat back and thought about the "realities' of this. I see your from Italy, i'm half Sicilian and think that you'll understand that i don't plan on playing the victim here. I am going to cont. contact just to expose her/him with as much info as possible so no one else (hopefully) will take it deep with those particular pics. If I happen to "win the lotto" ha. I'll try to let you know that too. Maybe I'll have to give Sergey a lesson in Family Values. I'm sorry one of them got a piece of you, or anyone else. It's for me to believe how many scammers listed on this site and others still have profiles on "premiere dating agency's" WTF. Does anyone else have anything to add? Thanks again. Jupiter
When i was scammed, i had the foresight to investigate her carefully ( which most won't do anyways ), but in the end i was a stupid person doing a stupid thing...and i got rewarded accordingly. I'm not making excuses.
04-11-2007, 04:14 AM
The only way I have had any luck was with a woman who contacted me through Skype. I didn't know if she was real but just kept it friends until it started to blossom into other things. The fact that she contacted me was totally in my favor. I helped her with her English her goals and we shared pictures and so on. On the third call we stayed up talking for 6 hours deep into the night when her sun was coming up. it was very real. She gave me her address immediately when I asked her. She also gave me her home and cell phone number to which we texted each other hundreds of times over 6 mouths. She paid and booked a ticket to come here with her own money and sent me the itinerary whioch I checked out and it was real. I helped her built a siet on abe and sell some of her beauty products. I spoke to her 10 year old child on the phone and saw pictures and videos of her as well. We did the video cam thing all the time. She sent me hand written love letters and pictures of her from vacation. I knew they were her because I saw her on the cam. I spoke to her friends and so on. She NEVER asked me for a dime and I know she could have used my help. her last tax bill from the state in Italy was 19,000...OUCH! But she wouldn't tale a dime. We had specific plans where and when we would get married. When I asked her to tell me a story she had told me before (like when her divorce final and what date) the facts always matched and never changed. I have a VERY keen memory and full of common sense. I would have made an excelent detective.
Unfortunately is ended after 6 months but thats another whole story that has nothing to do with if she was weak or not. Bottom line is a wise many told me once how to run my life with one simple phrase..."when in doubt...DON'T!"
I'm not saying this isn't the real deal you have but you're the one who said you saw red flags as well. Even though she may not have any money there are clearly ways for her to step up to the plate and let you know she is real. After you have explained to her that there are many sites explaining all the scams from her country, you would like to be assured that she is real. Put her in a position to prove herself or move on. If she sees or feels true value in your re;relationship..she will step up to the plate. These women are betting on your weakness to want them so badly that you will alway give her the benifit of the doubt. If all the men out there had a shred of self esteem, they wouldn't fall for 95% of this crap.
One of the best ways is to get pictures and then a cam session to verify. Most internet cafes will have cams. Then you can take it to the next level but getting her snail mail and send her something small like even a card. (remember she hasn't been willing to do this so what does that tell you...RED FLAG) tell her you love getting mail too and wait for her to send you something. I'm sure she can afford a stamp. My Italian girl alway sent me stuff in the mail and we talked 2 to 3 hours per day on Skype. We knew where each other was and what they were doing throughout the day.
its easy to see when a pattern is broken but you first have to establish the pattern, My girl put all her eggs in my basket so I knew where she was all the time. We texted each other many time during our waking hours.
The last girl I wrote to on UA sent back a half assed response and didn't answer one of my many questions. the reason is because the agency answered the letter and couldn't answer the questions because they were very specific. They tried to play it kool and be personal but there were many gaping holes in their response. This i was able to (for $7.00) flush out the riff raff. I have been on that site since June 1 of last year and just finally decided it may be legit after all this research. But all it took was one answer and I saw many red flags. Even though they do pass some of the letters to the girls, they don't pass all of them. I was going to call it quits but I'm going to have some fun and am making a plan on how to trip them up without them even knowing it. I don't have all the pieces in place but my detective mind is hard at work. After I expose them I will ask for all my money back or I with threaten then with my story on this site and others. This will allow me to converse with the woman I want for free if she ever gets an e-mail from me and have a chance at really meeting her.
What I haven't figured our yet is if she even had anything to do with the first letter. What makes me think she did was the way it was written and had a different tone than the reply letter. She is very young (23) and I am 50 even though I say I an 45 because I do look very young and feel 40. Either way....what do we have in common and why would "she" write someone she thinks is 45 who could be her father. In fact, I have a daughter 2 years older than her.
But, I'm open and don't care about age as long as there is love. I am a true romantic but also love younger woman and not ashamed or going to ever apologize for it. Its the way God wired me and I will never change because I don't want to. if a woman closer to my age took care of herself and was toned, healthy and concerned about her mind and body...I would gladly jump at the chance. BUT...as you know, we are a 66% obese nation and its only getting worse.
Okay, I'm staring to write a book here and get off track.
Anyway, much success with whatever choice you make!
quote:But, I'm open and don't care about age as long as there is love. I am a true romantic but also love younger woman and not ashamed or going to ever apologize for it. Its the way God wired me and I will never change because I don't want to. if a woman closer to my age took care of herself and was toned, healthy and concerned about her mind and body...I would gladly jump at the chance. BUT...as you know, we are a 66% obese nation and its only getting worse.
always exercise great caution with the age gap thing.
If i said there aren't pretty young things around here, i'd be lying flat out.
If i said i don't like pretty young things, i'd be lying even more: every man does.
The only slight problem is that pretty young things around where i live wouldn't give me the time of the day if my life depended on it.
If i'm not in bed with pretty young things every friday, why would this change abroad?
It is easy to get manipulated and live a fantasy...it may turn out pretty expensive in the end with a divorce attorney as a therapist and a load of bills to foot, EG her school bills.
04-11-2007, 02:49 PM
Good points. If she's going to be with you, then you will have to trade something of value (i.e. money, home, security). If you think she's just going to love you because thats her nature...that thought will get you into trouble.
04-15-2007, 05:25 AM
Excellent topic men. Ok, i'm 40, a real 40. Do i turn the eyes of younger women in the states, yes, i can say that i can get the attention of pretty young things. However, the pretty young things don't want a 40 year old guy. So, I know that i won't be bedding any, is there a difference abroad, i don't have a clue, I've certainly been led to believe that if a FSU woman is atracted to you that she won't mind an age difference. However, I think the max is probably about what 17 years of age in difference. If i said that there weren't 18 year olds profiles on that totally do it for me i'd be wrong, but, i think that in the long run I'd really be risking problems down the road. Everybody is different. Personnally, i'd like to meet a woman around 28 w/o kids. Where i live that does not happen. So it's fantasy here. Abroad possibly. Ham, i must ask you??? YOU brought up the paying for the girl's school. Is there smtg here that us noobs should know, is it common for men who get fsu women to have to pay 4 school or smtg?? Personnally, the divorce laws where i'm at are not to terrible, they get half of all assets acquired during the marriage. ie. they leave after two years it's not going to be much, especially, if your smart, and clear headed. Really the largest expense would be the foreign visits, and visa and travel costs. I sometimes wonder about our govt. visa policy, that a single woman from the fsu has no chance really of obtaining a visa, while illegals cross our border constantly from mexico, and s. America. It seems that this policy fuels the scammers. just a thought, and yes i know i like pretty young things :)
quote:My job I have not for so long time but I like it very much. I'm not sure, that if I come to another country I may continue the same
This might be a sales pitch requesting you to get accustomed to the idea s-he will require further schooling once in your country...of course YOU will be footing the bills.
Hell, most of these FSUWs (especially if very young ) seem to EXPECT that their old(er) western sucker be not only a doormat, but a scholarship provider as well; easier to "put up with his crap" for a while allowing him to foot the bills, rather than forking $ out, or competing in the few, highly selecting official scholarship programs.
They are accustomed (like most girls their age ) to sleeping around anyways, so if doing so with good old Barney means getting a scholarship, why not? Until the day earlier they were sleeping with Oleg, Igor, Kostia etc "pro bono".
So they will "have a blast" being out most of the day at school (where they can elope with pretty hunks their age in the bathroom ), while their old(er) sponsor is self-contented at home watching TV, in the mythical faith his pretty young thing loves him dearly.
DON'T DO IT! DON'T BE TAKEN FOR A RIDE! DON'T ACQUIRE A HIGH-MAINTENANCE STEP-DAUGHTER!
Of course there are less expensive options, like accredited distance learning, but i was blasted into oblivion for suggesting it on FSUW forums...these smart pretty MOB foxes want "the real thing", which of course means tens of thousands $ expenditure ( which the man will take care of ) and being away most of the time among boys her age (reealy not bad for her ), plus you are paving her way to better employment opportunities once she really gets tired and takes you to the cleaners: a real "American dream".
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