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View Full Version : man poses as nutcase & scammer loves him: letters



ham
05-31-2007, 11:37 AM
AS POSTED ELSEWHERE

A man poses as a complete nutcase under psychotheraphy to a scammer, but the scammer doesn't notice and loves him oh-so-dearly...
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Someone has contacted you from heart2heart.com
This is their message below:

Hi my name is Ekaterina.
I see your profile. I like it.
I like a lot the parties and my friends. I like to have fun and
enjoy the life. The relatives and my friends are the best people
around me. I like to talk to them about everything. I think I can
share anything with them and they share all their problems and all
their happy moments with me. Please write me on my following e-mail:


MY REPLY:

Ekaterina do you like Zoos? I work at a zoo with monkeys. You must like zoos. It is important. Also you must like monkeys. Sometimes I sing to the monkeys. It's a song I made up called: Singing to the Monkeys at the Zoo Song ... Gutentag, that means Ciao in German :)

ps I often try to teach monkeys other languages, it's not going so well. Ekaterina, would you like to hear a tape of me singing to the monkeys? Let me know very fast. Okay, once again, adios.

PSS In case you are curious, I haven't taught the monkeys that word yet. Maybe today after I clean their cages I will try. Ekaterina, do you think this is a good idea? Adios might be difficult word, it has 3 syllables.

Ekaterina, have you ever thought long periods about monkeys? They have tails so if you haven't I would understand. Ekaterina, I have to tell you something. I like monkeys maybe too much. But I have gone to see a man who tries to get me to think of other things, like ice cream cones and canoe riding, anything but monkeys.

Ekaterina, please send a picture.

[Here I inserted the goofiest, ugliest pic of a monkey U have ever seen]

Big gorilla hug, ELI

PSSS Ekaterina, this picture isn't me, haha, its Keeko, the smartest monkey in my zoo. He plays checkers and can beat third graders if he knows he will get a banana for winning. Once he double jumped a chubby kid who almost won a spelling Bee. Keeko earned two bananas that day and was congratulated in person by our deputy mayor. This is true. Bye Ekaterina.


HER REPLY

Hello, my friend. I was very glad that you answered me.
I would like to find out more about you very much.
I live in small city Bogorodsk, it is small town, it to be not
far from Nijniy Novgorod. I do not know how much is it far from Moscow,but I
think, it is about 800 km. I want to find a man of my life with whom
I would spend the rest of my
life. I do not want to make a mistake in my choice and I wish to know
as much as it is possible
about my future friend. My schedule is very severe. I live with the
mum and father. My daddy works in police. They is a very good
persons. I've said to my mother today that a person from USA had answer
ed me. She was
pleasantly surprised. But she does not trust in the success of Internet
relations between couples.
My mother is very far from all this things. I cannot make promises that
the future may bind us, but
I wish to help you to study more about me.
I seldom travelled far, and never was in other country.
But I dream to visit on places of ancient
civilizations.
I have never been married. I do not have children.
As you probably already had noted I'm 27 years and my birthday
will be absolutely soon July 3, and it will be 28 and
I would like to find a companion of my life. I was bad to perceive
the computer but I learn now. I work as a junior
book-keeper. I miss my pupils very much.
I have university education in economy.
My favorite food is Pelmeni. Pelmeni is a simple Russian dish,
which is made of paste and meat. It is very tasty. I know many
receipts of good meal. I like roses among the flowers.
I to not have the computer of a house. I to write to you from the Internet of cafe.
I listen different
compositions depending on mood.
I have never been married and I want to create good family.
Probably we will become good friends or even more, if we are
very successful. Probably as it is the same with you my private
life is too limited by the absence of free time. Even my weekends
sometimes are filled with the work. Sometimes also I'm asked to
displace other bookkeepers, so that I had no a lot of time for my
own pleasure this year. I'm not complaining. I believe that the
time will award me and I feel that I shall have a greater control
of my private life thereafter.
I hope to find the second half of my life and to share with him
love and everything. I was not
successful enough before to find one for me. I wish to find a
self-confident and kind man. I know
that it will be a hard work, but I will move to this purpose.
I shall try to form the strong bonds
of confidence and communication with you and to be the good mother
of our future children. I hope that your purposes will be similar.
I would like to know your thoughts about your future. I hope that
you have listened me with the interest and it will be the beginning
to help you to know me a bit better. I will be waiting for your answer.
Bye, Your friend Ekaterina


P.S. I love very much zoo!



MY REPLY:

Dear Ekaterina:

I am sad to say I have lost my battle with monkeys. They harrass me during the day and pursue my dreams at night. In short, they excite me.

This odd chap named Louis the Third wears a velvet crown and carries a jeweled sceptre, and has turned me into his personal lackey. It is difficult to disobey a monarch, as you probably know. Ekaterina, something not many realize about, Louis III, he carries a small locket of the Ayatollah Kohmeini around his neck and consults it during times of duress, which are often in a monkey's turbulent world. Louis once received word a tropical storm ravaged a Chiquita plantation in Belize and he broke my great toe with massive blow from his sceptre.

Ekaterina, it is not all joy here at the zoo!

I must bid adieu, two monkeys just lifted a pillbox hat from an elderly woman's head. The woman staggered three steps in pursuit, tumbled, and lost her dentures in the lions' cage! What a horrible day already and it's only 10:15 a.m.!

Hastiliy,
Eli


HER REPLY:

Hello Eli!
Hello, my dear friend. Each time I am very happy to receive your
letters because you show concern about me. I begin to feel that we
are getting closer and that we have a lot of common in our minds.
We had a lot of cold days now. My grandmother lives in 75 km from
the city.
And I like very much to visit her at this time. There are many
beautiful rivers and a beautiful forest. It's a pleasant place to
relax and to built plans for the future, to dream:
I've read some words from your letter to my mother today.
She said that you were probably a very good person. She says "hello"
to you and wishes us all the best. We started understand each
other - this is most important. I believe that we should trust each
other. Lie is a bad thing in this world. We should have a complete
trust what is the basis of a robust union.
It is a pity that the distance between us is so long. But I believe
that every new letter makes it shorter and shorter. I hope that at
some point we will meet each other. But it remains only a dream for
a while. Today my uncle visited us.
I like to dance! I usually dance under rock & roll or popular pop
music. I go to learn to dance two times a week. I like Jitterbug,
Cha-Cha and receive Lessons to learn more. I believe that one day
we will pour together in a romantic dance.
You seem to me a very good and interesting man. It is a big pleasure
for me to know a bit more about your every time. I am sure that you
will get a good friend and I want only to communicate with you more
and to receive an information from you soon again. By your responds
you may share with me any problems you have. Feel free in writing.
We may start to learn one another. I shall finish the letter here.
I'll be waiting for your letter.


Ekaterina
MY REPLY:

hi Ekaterina:

Today was a sad day, indeed. Hercules, a monkey with superhero type strength, pulled a vagrant into his cage and suffocated him for a large bag of Hoody's peanuts ...

I tried to reason with Hercules while the chaos ensued, I even turned a fire extinguisher on him, but Hercules was clever and used the vagrant as a shield. He has been watching CNN and picks up Fedayeen tricks such as these.

In other news at the zoo, the polar bears went on strike and refuse to come out of their caves unless they get smoked salmon at least once a week; additonally they spoke to Dr. Dolittle and requested people stop capitalizing on their name by swimming in frigid winter waters in the so called Polar Bear Clubs. A suit is pending.

As you can see, Ekaterina, this is a occupation fraught with obstacles that can not be planned for. Is this such a life you would consider standing by your man? I live over the otter house and the smell of herring incapacitates during the blistering summer months, not too mention the incessant barking and flipper claps of the rutting male.

Please respond, post haste.

yours eternally,
Eli


HER REPLY:

Hello Eli!
Hello, my dear friend. I'm so happy to receive another letter from you.
Your letter is very warm. With every your letter I feel that you are
more and more interesting to me. And every time I wish to learn more
and more about you.
My grandmother called me at my mother's place of work today from her
village. I talked to her long time ago. Lots of things have changed
form that time. Unfortunately, we cannot visit each other very often.
But I miss her sauna. Do you know anything about Russian saunas?
They are usually totally made of wood. There is a heating device
inside where one should put the wood and to burn it. There are
several middle size stones on the upper level of the heating.
When they are hot you should put there small quantity of hot water.
Hot steam will cover the air. Traditionally we use switches of
green birch twigs in sauna. You hit another person with such switches.
It is good for health. I like to go to sauna especially in winter
when you may jump into the snow from sauna. The feelings after that
are unimaginable. You may stay thereafter on the cold for a few
minutes and you feel very warm. Please, tell me more about your
mode of life. I'll be waiting for your letter.

Ekaterina

thatcrazy
05-31-2007, 11:55 AM
I like Monkies...

thatcrazy
05-31-2007, 11:55 AM
I like Monkies...

Prometheus
06-01-2007, 02:18 AM
Insert any claptrap where "the zoo" is discussed and you have 95% of the crap that CC/UAL cranks out. They are standing next to a Xerox machines that prints $7 bills.

If Eli had been talking about work, his family, or hobbies, Ekaterina's responses would not have seemed nearly as odd. Eli would have simply scratched his head and said, "well she didn't comment on my class reunion, but look, she's already talking to her mother about me!"

This just makes anyone who has been suckered by that outfit want to vomit. I often said, "well this doesn't really seem responsive to my last note, but she seems to care about me." By the time you wake up from your pipe dream, your wallet is a lot thinner.

Run for the exits. You don't need to get on this merry-go-round. It takes a wise man to learn from his own mistakes, but a genius to learn from the mistakes of others. Learn from this one.

Prometheus
06-01-2007, 02:18 AM
Insert any claptrap where "the zoo" is discussed and you have 95% of the crap that CC/UAL cranks out. They are standing next to a Xerox machines that prints $7 bills.

If Eli had been talking about work, his family, or hobbies, Ekaterina's responses would not have seemed nearly as odd. Eli would have simply scratched his head and said, "well she didn't comment on my class reunion, but look, she's already talking to her mother about me!"

This just makes anyone who has been suckered by that outfit want to vomit. I often said, "well this doesn't really seem responsive to my last note, but she seems to care about me." By the time you wake up from your pipe dream, your wallet is a lot thinner.

Run for the exits. You don't need to get on this merry-go-round. It takes a wise man to learn from his own mistakes, but a genius to learn from the mistakes of others. Learn from this one.

ham
06-01-2007, 03:14 AM
well, online repositories of scam letters have been uncovered.
Usually mild, pastel-colored canned letters.
Other giveaways are:
1 approval given by elderly. Who are they kidding?
2 S-he has no computer and suffers to pay for the internet cafe...
3 S-he is modest & works long hours, so mostly any man can feel confident and go ahead...after all, scammers are very politically correct and won't mind if i'm a loser under psychotheraphy...provided i give the right WU code.

ham
06-01-2007, 03:14 AM
well, online repositories of scam letters have been uncovered.
Usually mild, pastel-colored canned letters.
Other giveaways are:
1 approval given by elderly. Who are they kidding?
2 S-he has no computer and suffers to pay for the internet cafe...
3 S-he is modest & works long hours, so mostly any man can feel confident and go ahead...after all, scammers are very politically correct and won't mind if i'm a loser under psychotheraphy...provided i give the right WU code.

Ihearmytrain
06-04-2007, 05:41 PM
Hey guys! I have to share this one with you all... I joined this site because of almost being scammed. I found the scammer on another FSUW site and posted a profile for fun.

In this profile, I portrayed myself as the most egotistical, sexually depraived, my way or the hiway SOB I could, with NO photo. The scammers hit this new profile like a school of pirahnas!!!

I told them that I EXPECTED my woman to stay inside when I'm not home so other guys can't see what I have(basically referring to my girl as my PROPERTY). I EXPECTED dinner to be ready when I got home from work. I EXPECTED her to wear a t-shirt and a thong and nothing else just for me. I EXPECTED oral sex whenever I wanted it.

In our correspondence, I was down right pornographic and vulgar in referring to what I wanted to do with "her", including the cab ride home when I would receive "her" at the airport!

The scammer declared "her" love for this scumbag(me) after 3 e-mails and wanted money to come to be with me forever after 5 or 6!!!

Guys, I even downloaded a photo of an erect penis and sent it to "her"!!! "Her" response was that I was teasing "her"!!!:D

I sent another such pic and labelled it for "another girl's name". The scammer just kept on declaring for endless love!!!



Train

Ihearmytrain
06-04-2007, 05:41 PM
Hey guys! I have to share this one with you all... I joined this site because of almost being scammed. I found the scammer on another FSUW site and posted a profile for fun.

In this profile, I portrayed myself as the most egotistical, sexually depraived, my way or the hiway SOB I could, with NO photo. The scammers hit this new profile like a school of pirahnas!!!

I told them that I EXPECTED my woman to stay inside when I'm not home so other guys can't see what I have(basically referring to my girl as my PROPERTY). I EXPECTED dinner to be ready when I got home from work. I EXPECTED her to wear a t-shirt and a thong and nothing else just for me. I EXPECTED oral sex whenever I wanted it.

In our correspondence, I was down right pornographic and vulgar in referring to what I wanted to do with "her", including the cab ride home when I would receive "her" at the airport!

The scammer declared "her" love for this scumbag(me) after 3 e-mails and wanted money to come to be with me forever after 5 or 6!!!

Guys, I even downloaded a photo of an erect penis and sent it to "her"!!! "Her" response was that I was teasing "her"!!!:D

I sent another such pic and labelled it for "another girl's name". The scammer just kept on declaring for endless love!!!



Train

Ihearmytrain
06-04-2007, 05:49 PM
Next, I may dowload gay porn and tell the scammer I like boys too and ask if "she" has a brother just to see what response I get!!!

Train

Ihearmytrain
06-04-2007, 05:49 PM
Next, I may dowload gay porn and tell the scammer I like boys too and ask if "she" has a brother just to see what response I get!!!

Train

ham
06-05-2007, 10:00 AM
quote:If Eli had been talking about work, his family, or hobbies, Ekaterina's responses would not have seemed nearly as odd. Eli would have simply scratched his head and said, "well she didn't comment on my class reunion, but look, she's already talking to her mother about me!"

unfortunately that is true.
When i was scammed, i recall ever minor cues like these.
At the time i just ascribed the lack of comments or else to poor language skills...or -which is more ridiculous- to her undying "love" for me, namely that she ( i had her verified & met in person by third parties ) was oh-so-in-love that all she could do best was cooing&gooing over how awesome i was...[:o)][:o)]
I was a very stupid person, so everybody out there, watch out!

ham
06-05-2007, 10:00 AM
quote:If Eli had been talking about work, his family, or hobbies, Ekaterina's responses would not have seemed nearly as odd. Eli would have simply scratched his head and said, "well she didn't comment on my class reunion, but look, she's already talking to her mother about me!"

unfortunately that is true.
When i was scammed, i recall ever minor cues like these.
At the time i just ascribed the lack of comments or else to poor language skills...or -which is more ridiculous- to her undying "love" for me, namely that she ( i had her verified & met in person by third parties ) was oh-so-in-love that all she could do best was cooing&gooing over how awesome i was...[:o)][:o)]
I was a very stupid person, so everybody out there, watch out!