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  1. #1

    Default You can get "scammed" after meeting, too

    I found that I got "kinda"scammed by a Russian woman even though I went to her home and met her (and her family). She told me much of love, devotion and all that before I came home and right afterwards by email and telephone. Then I got a letter full of greed basically saying "I am not asking you for money...." Baloney! She demanded (of course, her "disclaimer" made it OK?) I pay her every expense (support her financially) through the K-1 process. Driving lessons, English lessons, dental, medical....the whole nine yards. Eight days after giving this woman $300 she wanted more! Well, before she could wait several weeks (even before my next pay cycle) she wrote me of some "age difference" issues that gave her "serious" doubts about our relationship. Then came the excuses and she disappeared! What a phony! Although I technically didn't get scammed, I got taken, friends. I would like to report her "case" to the U.S. Embassy because she has heart of greedy, manipulative, and selfish person who shouldn't be allowed into the USA.

    So be warned! Even a woman who you know and have gone to see can still pull a fast one on you, once she realized she has squeezed every dime of you she is going to get. I learned that the hard way, folks!

  2. #2

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    Keep your head cold, your pants on and your wallet in an inner pocket........


    See ya

  3. #3

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    Thinking that scamming is purely a phenomenon that occurs only before a personal meeting, I also learned a similar lesson in August 2003. I invited a girl named Maria Doroshenko from DNPK to visit me in Kiev and I found that she would want to go to restaurants that cost $200-300 in exercises of conspicuous consumption in which she would order a lot and then tell the waiter to take the food away uneaten; her mother would turn up and drink half a liter of Bailey's costing $100; asking for "video equipment" as a gift; a jacket, as she forgot hers in DNPK, costing $200; money for a gift for her friend --yet all the time keeping at arm's length from me. She asked how much money could I afford for the wedding and she highlighted some of the special needs she would have if we lived together e.g. the need for a Ukrainian cook as she doesn't cook. When I suggested that we engage in activity that didn't require the spending of money, she would come up with an excuse to disappear. She wouldn't visit me in my apartment. Finally, the spell wore off (after six days of profligacy) and I told her (in Russian) "you value only money" and she became offended and I didn't see her again. Later she sent me a hate e-mail. FYI her name is Maria (Masha) Doroshenko [Angelika network ab4753] pr Pravdy 83-61 DNPK 49000 Ukraine +380676318255. [She may subsequently have moved to Kiev.]

    My advice is think twice before you invite a Ukrainian girl to Kiev as in effect you might just be paying for an expensive vacation for her. Better to go to the girl's city even if it is a bit inconvenient -- it's easier then to cut your losses. (An invitation of a Belarussian to Minsk is less painful on the pocketbook as foreigner hotel prices in smaller major cities in Belarus are high: $65 for a 2 star hotel in Gomel for instance.)

    Consider carefully where you meet ladies for first/second/third dates. It sometimes becomes an exercise of taking them to places they want to (and ordinarily cannot afford to) go to despite the company. Tell them you want to sample local fare (which tends to be cheaper than European and East Asian cuisine) and avoid Japanese restaurants (at least until you have some demonstration of sincere interest). Likewise, avoid seafood generally at restaurants in Belarus. If they really like you, they won't care at which restaurant, and on what, you dine and how much you spend.

    In a perverse way, Maria can be construed as not being a scammer: she was seeking to sell her marriage for the highest price negotiable - I believe she would have gone through with the endeavor had she gotten a reasonable pay-off even in the face of her complete absence of feelings for me. She'd simply go to the highest bidder. In contrast, the true scammer would have had no intention to go through with the transaction ab initio.

    That's not to say categorically that there is no place for an occasional expensive gift (holiday, birthday, etc.) and a culinary splurge if you meet the right girl and the girl is young and beautiful -- and she has demonstrable feelings for you in the case of a relationship that has been progressively developing over the course of several months involving multiple visits. Then it is normal enough.

    I share with you my mistakes in the hope that you can avoid them with a corresponding savings of time and money.

    Richard










  4. #4

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    You make some very good points Richard. We need to learn just to say no in person as we do over email. It's harder to say no in person because you've got this beautiful girl here with you and you don't want to lose her. Recently I walked away from a girl in Moscow who took me to a shoe store and expected me to buy her a $300 pair of boots. It was not that I could not afford it. It was just her presumption that I should buy it for her and it would not have stopped there. I think a lot of the rich guys ruin it for us guys who have a normal income by lavishing these girls with gifts. They set a bad presedent that all foreigners are rich are are going to lavish these ladies with gifts. Also some of these girls are using the process to augment their income or even replace it. They are a different type of scammer.
    The scammers are getting smarter now realizing it's tough to scam over email (though it's still possible because so many guys are gullible and uninformed.)
    The best girls are from the small towns far away from the big cosmopolitan cities such as Moscow and St. Petersburg, Kiev, etc. The girls from the big cities are spoiled for the most part especially if they are beautiful. You've got to off the beat and path to find the girls who are less visitied by foreigners.
    John

  5. #5

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    That's a tough experience. But, how about all the greedy, manipulative and selfish women living right here in the USA? I've met a few. Maybe we should see if we can get our government to kick them out of here, or at least trade them for the honest ladies from the FSU. Think our embassy would help?

  6. #6

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    Aussieman40. You make some very good points and apparently have analyzed the threads relatively completely. Maybe finding a wife or girlfriend or companion locally can be done, but I think it is just as hard and expensive as finding an FSU woman. I am sure there are some locals out there who might be the right type, but they are probably not on the Internet. The cultural differences you speak of just may be what some of us want. A return to quieter, simpler, less materialistic times where love between two people really meant something and a couple would try to make things work. Not run because it is so easy to do these days. Unfortunately, most American women I know are too materialistic, and think the sun rises and sets just for them. A lot of FSU women have seen the real downside of the way their man may treat them and I think would try a little harder to make a relationship work. But, I could be wrong. Destiny and fate will set the stage either in America or in the FSU for a properly matched couple.

  7. #7

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    quote:The best girls are from the small towns far away from the big cosmopolitan cities such as Moscow and St. Petersburg, Kiev, etc. The girls from the big cities are spoiled for the most part especially if they are beautiful.
    You have a very vague idea about the market if that's what you think.

  8. #8

    Default

    Thanks for the excerpt.

    Maybe I do have only a vague idea about the market, as you call it. I don't look at it like a "market", and have only been to the FSU twice, so maybe you are more adept at knowing how it works.

    From your quote, it appears that the big city FSU women are like the big city USA women. That is too bad. Guess I will have to take a trip to a small town in Siberia next.

    Please let me know the most favorite town that you visited. Maybe I will go there. Love in the "marketplace" you can find here in Nevada.

  9. #9

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    First of all, the "market" is just a term with no negative connotation to it whatsoever. Call it the area, the special type of dating or anything else that you wish to call it, the essense does not change.

    quote:From your quote, it appears that the big city FSU women are like the big city USA women.
    That is what you derived from my quote, not what was meant by it. On the contrary, I am trying to suggest that there are just as many opportunities for a beautiful girl to become spoilt and nasty in a big city as in a small town. There are more guys willing to spoil them in big cities, but there are also many more girls available for spoiling, and the competition is tougher . Besides, women in big cities are by and large way more educated and cultured, they live a lifestyle close to the western one and will not be that much culturally shocked if you are not ready to move to FSU and they will have to move to your country.

    If you ask me, my favourite city of all times is St.Petersburg, Russia.

    quote:Private apartment accomodation of at least $1000 USD ( $1300 Australian ) a month for a 1 room basic apartment in Kiev for example.
    Bad news for you, Aussieman40, but you have been BOLDLY ripped off . This price has nothing to do with real prices.

  10. #10

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    Quote:
    __________________________________________________ _______________
    If you ask me, my favorite city of all times is St.Petersburg, Russia.
    __________________________________________________ ________________

    Thanks for the comments. [?] I have been to St. Petersburg too, and I like the city very much, but from what I have seen of other cities in Russia, St. Petersburg does not really seem to be a true average Russian city. It appeared to me that there is more money, more arts, educational opportunities and culture available, more cars, more commercialism, more crime and questionable ladies, and a slightly above average way of thinking. A very nice city true, but more akin to the Western culture. A little like like a Russian version of Southern California. I have lived in several large cities and some small towns in the USA, and I would prefer to find a medium-sized Russian city where the women may be more down-to-earth with their lifestyle and family values. What are your thoughts on places like Yekaterinburg or Volgograd for finding someone who would be willing to invest an effort in learning how to mesh the best concepts from two different cultures without demanding things be done in a specific way? Any ideas? [?] Thanks.

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