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  1. #1
    isuccess Guest

    Default Are you being scammed?

    I know they are beautiful. But most are trying to get out of Russia and they see Americans as "dumb" Don't prove them right.

    If they are asking for money, even small amounts, move on. That's your red flag. This whole thing is turned into a business in Russia.
    The chances of any of these ladies falling in love with you are pretty dim. To most of them you're a free green card and ticket to America. That's the reality. Now, to avoid being scammed, you need to find the exceptions. First rule is, find someone who has at least enough money to pay for their airfare and entry into the U.S. Tell them you will pay them back AFTER they arrive here. Don't send any money. Be smart. Think with your right head or your will be another statistic.

    There are sincere ladies in Russia but you can count on the fact taht a good 80% are just trying to get out. If you're 50 and your lady is 21, red flag. If you're 65 and your lady is 30. Red flag. 10 years apart is where you should probably draw the line.

    If they claim they are physicians, etc. verify it. Verify everything they say and never send any money.
    Spend some time in Russia. Russians are pretty smart people and if you snooze on sharpening your B.S. detector, you will lose.

    Only use reliable, genuine dating sites. If the girls sounds too good to be true, she probably is. Quit thinking about how beautiful she is and the fireworks during your honey moon with her. Think about what she's saying to you and what she's asking for.

    IF you're calling her more than she's calling you, trouble.

    Put yourself in their place and ask: If I were a beautiful russian woman, what would I tell these American guys?"
    Answer: what you want to hear. Psychology 101.

    I hope this helps you avoid not only a broken heart, but also protect your wallet. Remember: if they can't afford a plane ticket, they can't afford to have you. Most sob stories are just that, sob stories. DOn't fall for it. Offer to refund any money they invest to come meet the man of their dreams. You will notice that the cons will not answer your emails anymore and they will realize they are dealing with a smart guy. End of story. Only Fools rush in, as the song goes.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by isuccess

    First rule is, find someone who has at least enough money to pay for their airfare and entry into the U.S. Tell them you will pay them back AFTER they arrive here. Don't send any money.
    I disagree. First of all, she can't come to the US without a fiancee visa, and for that you need to meet face to face. Once you met her and her family, the monthly support (if any), flowers, peresents to her and her family already cost you $$$. So, don't look like a paranoid idiot. If you met her, and her family, and you have known each other for some time - do not request her to buy her own tickets.

    I have been happiliy married to an American for the last 5 years. He paid for my visa, trip to Moscow (to get it), for my tickets (and even extra for some nice things to do while my last few days in Russia), and had given me probably over $1000 in monthly support for months while the paperwork was processed.

    Have he acted like what the author of the post suggests here, our marriage would never happen (I would dump him without hesitation).

    quote:There are sincere ladies in Russia but you can count on the fact taht a good 80% are just trying to get out. If you're 50 and your lady is 21, red flag. If you're 65 and your lady is 30. Red flag. 10 years apart is where you should probably draw the line.
    Again, I have been married to an AM for the last 5 years. He was 48 and I was 19-20 when we started correspondence. I am so glad he didn't "draw the line" just because we had a 28 years age difference (he says he is glad, too )

    I know several Russian-American couple with age difference 12-16 years. They are happy together (so far at least).

    I do agree that the more the age difference, the more the risk, but I disagree that this should be considered a big red flag. When I was 20, I didn't want anyone younger than 35-40. I just didn't think guys of younger age were ready for marriage.


    quote:IF you're calling her more than she's calling you, trouble.
    Huh? I never called my hubby when I was still in Russia and we were dating... I didn't have the money to do that (and I wouldn't even know how to dial the US!)

    I actually think that girls calling AM is a red flag. Scammers like to do that.

    quote:Remember: if they can't afford a plane ticket, they can't afford to have you. Most sob stories are just that, sob stories. DOn't fall for it. Offer to refund any money they invest to come meet the man of their dreams. You will notice that the cons will not answer your emails anymore and they will realize they are dealing with a smart guy.
    Whoever is writing this stuff is saying one dumb thing after another.

    Most Russian can't afford a plane ticket to the US. Period. If you follow the advice this person gives you, you will eliminate 99% of the girls who could have made a good wife to you (just because they or their parents don't make a ton of money).

    When I was writing to my future hubby, I didn't have any regular job or any education. I was using free internet from my brother's work place because I couldn't afford to go to an Internet cafe. My parents were both state workers without regular pay (meaning the gov would pay them maybe once ever 3-4 months, when the budget wasn't too low for other things like bribes and educational money for the governor's grandkids), they together were bringing maybe $100 per month, and they were feeding and clothing 2 kids (and a cat ) on that amount. I couldn't afford a hamburger at McDonalds (forget a husband from the States!). My clothes were from bought at the Salvation Army last sale and I was walking home from my borther's office every night (about 4 miles trip) after writing to my hubby because I couldn't affort a bus ticket (when he found out he was so worried! He was aftaid I would get raped by some drunk punks one night).

    My hubby would send me money for English lessons, and some extra to make sure I can do some fun stuff (like eating pizzas, buying some clothes, going to concerts, or going to Moscow to visit my friends there from time to time), plus for the bus pass , and when I lost my access to free Internet he sent me a laptop (that he bought here and shipped to me by FedEx), he really took care of me and that is the reason why I dumped 100 other guys writing to me and decided to go serious with him. The other guys behaved like weak, indecisive, unreliable people. I said to myself, "I need a man, not a chicken. He is the only one who seems to care enough about me to take care of my needs". The bottom line is: if he didn't take care of me BEFORE marriage I would think he is not going to take care of me after the marriage.




  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by isuccess

    First rule is, find someone who has at least enough money to pay for their airfare and entry into the U.S. Tell them you will pay them back AFTER they arrive here. Don't send any money.
    I disagree. First of all, she can't come to the US without a fiancee visa, and for that you need to meet face to face. Once you met her and her family, the monthly support (if any), flowers, peresents to her and her family already cost you $$$. So, don't look like a paranoid idiot. If you met her, and her family, and you have known each other for some time - do not request her to buy her own tickets.

    I have been happiliy married to an American for the last 5 years. He paid for my visa, trip to Moscow (to get it), for my tickets (and even extra for some nice things to do while my last few days in Russia), and had given me probably over $1000 in monthly support for months while the paperwork was processed.

    Have he acted like what the author of the post suggests here, our marriage would never happen (I would dump him without hesitation).

    quote:There are sincere ladies in Russia but you can count on the fact taht a good 80% are just trying to get out. If you're 50 and your lady is 21, red flag. If you're 65 and your lady is 30. Red flag. 10 years apart is where you should probably draw the line.
    Again, I have been married to an AM for the last 5 years. He was 48 and I was 19-20 when we started correspondence. I am so glad he didn't "draw the line" just because we had a 28 years age difference (he says he is glad, too )

    I know several Russian-American couple with age difference 12-16 years. They are happy together (so far at least).

    I do agree that the more the age difference, the more the risk, but I disagree that this should be considered a big red flag. When I was 20, I didn't want anyone younger than 35-40. I just didn't think guys of younger age were ready for marriage.


    quote:IF you're calling her more than she's calling you, trouble.
    Huh? I never called my hubby when I was still in Russia and we were dating... I didn't have the money to do that (and I wouldn't even know how to dial the US!)

    I actually think that girls calling AM is a red flag. Scammers like to do that.

    quote:Remember: if they can't afford a plane ticket, they can't afford to have you. Most sob stories are just that, sob stories. DOn't fall for it. Offer to refund any money they invest to come meet the man of their dreams. You will notice that the cons will not answer your emails anymore and they will realize they are dealing with a smart guy.
    Whoever is writing this stuff is saying one dumb thing after another.

    Most Russian can't afford a plane ticket to the US. Period. If you follow the advice this person gives you, you will eliminate 99% of the girls who could have made a good wife to you (just because they or their parents don't make a ton of money).

    When I was writing to my future hubby, I didn't have any regular job or any education. I was using free internet from my brother's work place because I couldn't afford to go to an Internet cafe. My parents were both state workers without regular pay (meaning the gov would pay them maybe once ever 3-4 months, when the budget wasn't too low for other things like bribes and educational money for the governor's grandkids), they together were bringing maybe $100 per month, and they were feeding and clothing 2 kids (and a cat ) on that amount. I couldn't afford a hamburger at McDonalds (forget a husband from the States!). My clothes were from bought at the Salvation Army last sale and I was walking home from my borther's office every night (about 4 miles trip) after writing to my hubby because I couldn't affort a bus ticket (when he found out he was so worried! He was aftaid I would get raped by some drunk punks one night).

    My hubby would send me money for English lessons, and some extra to make sure I can do some fun stuff (like eating pizzas, buying some clothes, going to concerts, or going to Moscow to visit my friends there from time to time), plus for the bus pass , and when I lost my access to free Internet he sent me a laptop (that he bought here and shipped to me by FedEx), he really took care of me and that is the reason why I dumped 100 other guys writing to me and decided to go serious with him. The other guys behaved like weak, indecisive, unreliable people. I said to myself, "I need a man, not a chicken. He is the only one who seems to care enough about me to take care of my needs". The bottom line is: if he didn't take care of me BEFORE marriage I would think he is not going to take care of me after the marriage.




  4. #4
    isuccess Guest

    Default

    Just because you've been married for 5 years, doesn't mean anything. With your age difference, you hubby may croak long before you do. 15-28 years difference? Please. What woman do you know who's 20 and looks for a guy in his 40s and 50s? You don't find this strange? Who is the idiot here? What you find dumb is actually good advice for American males not to get duped.

    And why is it all about "your needs" your wants and not the men's? I have a friend who was dating and eventually married a Brazilian girl and she paid her way to get to America so your logic is flawed. Tell you what, he shouldn't send money for plane tickets, but put it on his credit card instead in case she bails out with his money. That way he knows the girl wants a plane ticket and not the money to buy clothes, pizza or whatever. Sounds like she's already depending on him financially even before they tie the knot! It's this take care of me attitude that's so arrogant. Get your own pizza, will ya?

    I know it's not easy to get visas out of the country. I also agree that the guy should go visit the girl's parents, etc. But for the most part, truthfully speaking, most of the Russian women I am familiar with are looking for men much older than themselves and for a good reason. Interesting enough, they are looking for financial stability and a sponsor. 25 year old guys, for the most part, are not interested in finding love from Russia and most are not financially stable. But when an American male is in his 40s and 50s, been through one or two marriages, has children, etc., a stable job or business, etc., he's more vulnerable to getting hooked up with a Russian bride. Besides, what males do you know in their 40s and 50s, when given a chance, would not want to date, mate and marry an attractive, primal 20-25 year old? So, knowing that, many women are looking for vulnerable men.

    Only an "idiot" as you so eloquently mention, would think that a 20 year old is truly in love with him when he's as old as her father or grandfather. While this is possible, it's not the rule in most cultures and definitely not in the United States. Ask any college-age girl in America if she's interested in marrying some 40-50 year old guy and you will get one simply answer: NO. or, alternatively...well, if he's rich. Other than that, most 20-25 year olds in America are not looking for vulnerable middle-aged guys to pair up with. Before you go calling people idiots for expressing their opinions, you should spend a few more years in THIS country to figure out how our culture works. Let me ask you this? Do you have children with this middle aged guy you married? Children shows commitment to a marriage, when you are able to have them. Don't let me guess that you will say you are unable to have children.

    My take is that in most cases, after 5 years is past and citizenship status is eminent, that most will take off, leaving their middle-aged husbands living the illusion that there were loved by some 20 year old. But that's just me. I speak for myself and not everyone else out there. Each case is different but most cases fall into the same category. The fact that many Russian women are trying to leave the country leaves room for a LOT of doubt about their true motives and many dumb American males fall for it. Their chances of marrying a 20-25 year old here are pretty slim so they resort to seeking love elsewhere. That's just the way it is. Of course a lonely, 40-50 year old is going to fall for a pretty 20-25 year old. Who are we kidding? It's primal instinct at work here. I have seen a 56-year old with a friend of mine who was 26. Looked like a father taking his daughther to the movies. The Lolita syndrome.


  5. #5
    isuccess Guest

    Default

    Just because you've been married for 5 years, doesn't mean anything. With your age difference, you hubby may croak long before you do. 15-28 years difference? Please. What woman do you know who's 20 and looks for a guy in his 40s and 50s? You don't find this strange? Who is the idiot here? What you find dumb is actually good advice for American males not to get duped.

    And why is it all about "your needs" your wants and not the men's? I have a friend who was dating and eventually married a Brazilian girl and she paid her way to get to America so your logic is flawed. Tell you what, he shouldn't send money for plane tickets, but put it on his credit card instead in case she bails out with his money. That way he knows the girl wants a plane ticket and not the money to buy clothes, pizza or whatever. Sounds like she's already depending on him financially even before they tie the knot! It's this take care of me attitude that's so arrogant. Get your own pizza, will ya?

    I know it's not easy to get visas out of the country. I also agree that the guy should go visit the girl's parents, etc. But for the most part, truthfully speaking, most of the Russian women I am familiar with are looking for men much older than themselves and for a good reason. Interesting enough, they are looking for financial stability and a sponsor. 25 year old guys, for the most part, are not interested in finding love from Russia and most are not financially stable. But when an American male is in his 40s and 50s, been through one or two marriages, has children, etc., a stable job or business, etc., he's more vulnerable to getting hooked up with a Russian bride. Besides, what males do you know in their 40s and 50s, when given a chance, would not want to date, mate and marry an attractive, primal 20-25 year old? So, knowing that, many women are looking for vulnerable men.

    Only an "idiot" as you so eloquently mention, would think that a 20 year old is truly in love with him when he's as old as her father or grandfather. While this is possible, it's not the rule in most cultures and definitely not in the United States. Ask any college-age girl in America if she's interested in marrying some 40-50 year old guy and you will get one simply answer: NO. or, alternatively...well, if he's rich. Other than that, most 20-25 year olds in America are not looking for vulnerable middle-aged guys to pair up with. Before you go calling people idiots for expressing their opinions, you should spend a few more years in THIS country to figure out how our culture works. Let me ask you this? Do you have children with this middle aged guy you married? Children shows commitment to a marriage, when you are able to have them. Don't let me guess that you will say you are unable to have children.

    My take is that in most cases, after 5 years is past and citizenship status is eminent, that most will take off, leaving their middle-aged husbands living the illusion that there were loved by some 20 year old. But that's just me. I speak for myself and not everyone else out there. Each case is different but most cases fall into the same category. The fact that many Russian women are trying to leave the country leaves room for a LOT of doubt about their true motives and many dumb American males fall for it. Their chances of marrying a 20-25 year old here are pretty slim so they resort to seeking love elsewhere. That's just the way it is. Of course a lonely, 40-50 year old is going to fall for a pretty 20-25 year old. Who are we kidding? It's primal instinct at work here. I have seen a 56-year old with a friend of mine who was 26. Looked like a father taking his daughther to the movies. The Lolita syndrome.


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    I am not going to sit here and argue with you. What you wrote in your orginal post shows very minimal (if any) knowledge of Russian culture. And as such I do not think you need to be offering your advise to others. You are not there yet yourself, I think.

    Arguing with you would be (not, not a complete), but a waste of time for me. You obviously have very strong opinion on this mater, and I doubt I will be able to convince you otherwise even if I killed myself trying.

    So, whatever.




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    I am not going to sit here and argue with you. What you wrote in your orginal post shows very minimal (if any) knowledge of Russian culture. And as such I do not think you need to be offering your advise to others. You are not there yet yourself, I think.

    Arguing with you would be (not, not a complete), but a waste of time for me. You obviously have very strong opinion on this mater, and I doubt I will be able to convince you otherwise even if I killed myself trying.

    So, whatever.




  8. #8
    isuccess Guest

    Default

    quote:Arguing with you would be (not, not a complete), but a waste of time for me. So, whatever
    That's what I figured. Arguing with me would simply expose all the crap that you so eloquently tried to defend. I know more about the Russian culture than you think and I also know what goes on there with the marriage mills or do you think those model-like pictures that girls take with professional photographers is just to find love? It's a business. It's the business of leaving Russia for something better. The U.S. is just one target. I know many also want to move to Italy, The U.K., S. America, etc. All looking for middle-aged, stable or rich men to settle with. Why the emphasis on older males? That's not "all" Russian culture. That's marriage mill culture.

    Somewhere here and there "true love" happens but it's more the exception than the rule. So, I don't care if you argue or not but if you're going to debate something, then put forth some valid points besides what you wrote. So I am not losing anything. I know the truth hurts but I am for American males not getting duped by con artists. End of story.


  9. #9
    isuccess Guest

    Default

    quote:Arguing with you would be (not, not a complete), but a waste of time for me. So, whatever
    That's what I figured. Arguing with me would simply expose all the crap that you so eloquently tried to defend. I know more about the Russian culture than you think and I also know what goes on there with the marriage mills or do you think those model-like pictures that girls take with professional photographers is just to find love? It's a business. It's the business of leaving Russia for something better. The U.S. is just one target. I know many also want to move to Italy, The U.K., S. America, etc. All looking for middle-aged, stable or rich men to settle with. Why the emphasis on older males? That's not "all" Russian culture. That's marriage mill culture.

    Somewhere here and there "true love" happens but it's more the exception than the rule. So, I don't care if you argue or not but if you're going to debate something, then put forth some valid points besides what you wrote. So I am not losing anything. I know the truth hurts but I am for American males not getting duped by con artists. End of story.


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    Gee, you are one angry person my friend. I am not even going to respond to you calling my story "crap" (which you should really apologize for, I think.)

    See ya.

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