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Thread: Marriage

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    622

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    one thing i noticed......

    she will sell her apartment and help with my mortgage

    1: do you know how much is an apartment in ukraine?

    2: compare this money to a price of property in holland

    3: now work out the percentage she is putting in, BUT as she is now contributing to your mortgage she is now entitled to half the property

    4: you can live with a person for 12 years and at the end still find new things about that person

    5: get her a schengen visa. do not get married. live together. if you can afford to keep her without her working then all the better. at any time she "gets on your nerves", as she has not contributed to your living except for washing a few clothes, doing a bit cooking and spending your money, get her thrown out of the country. you can always amend your will to leave her part of your estate pending certain conditions being met. e.g. if at time of death you are still living together etc etc





    to all russian scammers: i am somewhat of a bullshi*ter myself but i do like to listen to a professional. please carry on

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    124

    Default

    Nick,

    1. Yes, I know, about $28000
    2. less as 10%
    3. No, she is only entitled to the same percentage, e.g. less as 10%
    4. You are right, but can happen with a local lady too, I know [B)]
    5. She can go working, as a matter of fact we both want this, it will help her integrating in Holland and improve her Dutch language.
    Even if she contributes more pro ratio to the living expenses, she will not be entitled to any compensation for this.

    I think we will not be married and just live together with a contract.

    I think I will tell her to put her money on a savings account and not pay off a part of the mortgage, or to keep on her apartment for a few years.

    Like I said, we can include all the above in the contract and we both know excactly till the penny what we are entitled of in case we split up.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    124

    Default

    Nick,

    1. Yes, I know, about $28000
    2. less as 10%
    3. No, she is only entitled to the same percentage, e.g. less as 10%
    4. You are right, but can happen with a local lady too, I know [B)]
    5. She can go working, as a matter of fact we both want this, it will help her integrating in Holland and improve her Dutch language.
    Even if she contributes more pro ratio to the living expenses, she will not be entitled to any compensation for this.

    I think we will not be married and just live together with a contract.

    I think I will tell her to put her money on a savings account and not pay off a part of the mortgage, or to keep on her apartment for a few years.

    Like I said, we can include all the above in the contract and we both know excactly till the penny what we are entitled of in case we split up.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    207

    Default

    When I was involved with the Russian woman that I mentioned above, I had my attorney write a preliminary argeement. I had already been burned in a divorce with my American wife of 12 years.
    It's funny because the document became quite thick since this attorney knows every angle that can be used to protect a man from a woman in court. The document contained about 60 or more pages of legal bla, bla. After I had it translated into Russian it was even more pages.
    When I gave a copy to my girl to read, she got really pissed. Accused me of not trusting her because she is Russian. I explained to her that such a document would be necessary with any woman from anywhere. Then she tells me that I am a very greedy man. I told her to go jump off a bridge and sent her home.

    A man's mind, streched by a new idea, will never re-gain it's original dimension.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    207

    Default

    When I was involved with the Russian woman that I mentioned above, I had my attorney write a preliminary argeement. I had already been burned in a divorce with my American wife of 12 years.
    It's funny because the document became quite thick since this attorney knows every angle that can be used to protect a man from a woman in court. The document contained about 60 or more pages of legal bla, bla. After I had it translated into Russian it was even more pages.
    When I gave a copy to my girl to read, she got really pissed. Accused me of not trusting her because she is Russian. I explained to her that such a document would be necessary with any woman from anywhere. Then she tells me that I am a very greedy man. I told her to go jump off a bridge and sent her home.

    A man's mind, streched by a new idea, will never re-gain it's original dimension.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    622

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by Dutchy013

    Nick,

    1. Yes, I know, about $28000
    2. less as 10%
    3. No, she is only entitled to the same percentage, e.g. less as 10%
    4. You are right, but can happen with a local lady too, I know [B)]
    5. She can go working, as a matter of fact we both want this, it will help her integrating in Holland and improve her Dutch language.
    Even if she contributes more pro ratio to the living expenses, she will not be entitled to any compensation for this.

    I think we will not be married and just live together with a contract.

    I think I will tell her to put her money on a savings account and not pay off a part of the mortgage, or to keep on her apartment for a few years.

    Like I said, we can include all the above in the contract and we both know excactly till the penny what we are entitled of in case we split up.
    although i personally do wish you the very best, following are things which may be important to look at....

    re 3: i hope you are right but i have a feeling it works out different. scenario: getting seperated. she wants more. her lawyer sees the US$ sign and thinks can make some good money here. which do you choose?
    a: a big massive lawyer/court fee? or
    b: give her what she wants (see film kramer vs kramer)

    contracts, prenuptuals, agreements etc can be contested in a court. a will can be contested! what about changes in relationship? she can argue that the contract was made at start but after, things changed.

    5: i think you are in for a surprise on this one. she is not in the EU and hence she cannot work. if on a schengen visa she is only as a tourist. (i cannot fully speak about holland but i can talk about UK). have you checked if she can work?

    when i flew from amsterdam to moscow, they had about 10 police at the airport and every russian was "grilled". 4 were arrested. also on a schengen visa she can stay up to 6 months (i think) and then has to go back and reapply. have you worked out the costs involved? where she will stay until she gets the new visa? etc etc?

    re 5 again, i am a bit dubious about the working thing etc etc. i am NOT the jealous type but leaving somebody who maybe just barely speaks english let alone dutch with "strangers"???? remember, it can be a nasty world out there if she meets the wrong people. she knows nothing of your customs etc etc. for example, you are talking about a contract. what if she was to meet somebody who may "draw to her attention that this means "distrust", manipulates her to believe other things" and all this maybe because he fancies her?

    remember the old english saying: only fools rush in

    so think everything over and over. whichever way it goes (and once again i DO HOPE it works out for you) she will be the winner.

    her apartment, why not tell her to rent it out? she can have her parents or relative look after her interest and collect rent etc etc. better then a savings account.

    and last but not least.....

    "we both know excactly till the penny what we are entitled of in case we split up."

    as already said by another member. if in doubt, stay out.


    personally, (and this is my humble opinion), i will bring her over as a fiancee. live with her for say 2 or 3 years. (get to know her better. there is a BIG thing writing letters and seeing each other for a week or two every few months to living together). see if there are any faults, how she acts, how she reacts to your kids, how she behaves at seeing new things compared to where she lived.

    then and ONLY THEN will i contemplate marraige/living fully together. and, the idea of her being over as a fiancee visa, is so that legally, she is only visiting and hence should have no rights.

    what if, for the sake of the argument, you after find she is lazy, prefers take aways and you come back from work to always find you have to wash the dishes and clean the home? yikes! i am 46 years old and have found that compared to the average "nowadays" woman, i have more energy! i can sleep only 5 hours and feel fresh. but have had girlfriends who go to sleep at 22:00 and if wake them up at 09:00 get a mouthful for waking her up early!




    to all russian scammers: i am somewhat of a bullshi*ter myself but i do like to listen to a professional. please carry on

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    622

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by Dutchy013

    Nick,

    1. Yes, I know, about $28000
    2. less as 10%
    3. No, she is only entitled to the same percentage, e.g. less as 10%
    4. You are right, but can happen with a local lady too, I know [B)]
    5. She can go working, as a matter of fact we both want this, it will help her integrating in Holland and improve her Dutch language.
    Even if she contributes more pro ratio to the living expenses, she will not be entitled to any compensation for this.

    I think we will not be married and just live together with a contract.

    I think I will tell her to put her money on a savings account and not pay off a part of the mortgage, or to keep on her apartment for a few years.

    Like I said, we can include all the above in the contract and we both know excactly till the penny what we are entitled of in case we split up.
    although i personally do wish you the very best, following are things which may be important to look at....

    re 3: i hope you are right but i have a feeling it works out different. scenario: getting seperated. she wants more. her lawyer sees the US$ sign and thinks can make some good money here. which do you choose?
    a: a big massive lawyer/court fee? or
    b: give her what she wants (see film kramer vs kramer)

    contracts, prenuptuals, agreements etc can be contested in a court. a will can be contested! what about changes in relationship? she can argue that the contract was made at start but after, things changed.

    5: i think you are in for a surprise on this one. she is not in the EU and hence she cannot work. if on a schengen visa she is only as a tourist. (i cannot fully speak about holland but i can talk about UK). have you checked if she can work?

    when i flew from amsterdam to moscow, they had about 10 police at the airport and every russian was "grilled". 4 were arrested. also on a schengen visa she can stay up to 6 months (i think) and then has to go back and reapply. have you worked out the costs involved? where she will stay until she gets the new visa? etc etc?

    re 5 again, i am a bit dubious about the working thing etc etc. i am NOT the jealous type but leaving somebody who maybe just barely speaks english let alone dutch with "strangers"???? remember, it can be a nasty world out there if she meets the wrong people. she knows nothing of your customs etc etc. for example, you are talking about a contract. what if she was to meet somebody who may "draw to her attention that this means "distrust", manipulates her to believe other things" and all this maybe because he fancies her?

    remember the old english saying: only fools rush in

    so think everything over and over. whichever way it goes (and once again i DO HOPE it works out for you) she will be the winner.

    her apartment, why not tell her to rent it out? she can have her parents or relative look after her interest and collect rent etc etc. better then a savings account.

    and last but not least.....

    "we both know excactly till the penny what we are entitled of in case we split up."

    as already said by another member. if in doubt, stay out.


    personally, (and this is my humble opinion), i will bring her over as a fiancee. live with her for say 2 or 3 years. (get to know her better. there is a BIG thing writing letters and seeing each other for a week or two every few months to living together). see if there are any faults, how she acts, how she reacts to your kids, how she behaves at seeing new things compared to where she lived.

    then and ONLY THEN will i contemplate marraige/living fully together. and, the idea of her being over as a fiancee visa, is so that legally, she is only visiting and hence should have no rights.

    what if, for the sake of the argument, you after find she is lazy, prefers take aways and you come back from work to always find you have to wash the dishes and clean the home? yikes! i am 46 years old and have found that compared to the average "nowadays" woman, i have more energy! i can sleep only 5 hours and feel fresh. but have had girlfriends who go to sleep at 22:00 and if wake them up at 09:00 get a mouthful for waking her up early!




    to all russian scammers: i am somewhat of a bullshi*ter myself but i do like to listen to a professional. please carry on

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    622

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by Sonar


    When I gave a copy to my girl to read, she got really pissed. Accused me of not trusting her because she is Russian. I explained to her that such a document would be necessary with any woman from anywhere. Then she tells me that I am a very greedy man. I told her to go jump off a bridge and sent her home.

    A man's mind, streched by a new idea, will never re-gain it's original dimension.
    as i said in another post on another thread, do not assume she always understands what is being said. from russian women i have met, they seem to like nodding when being talked to. to us it means "yes yes yes". to them it seems to mean "i understand a little. but heck what do half the words you said mean"!

    and PLEASE last but not least........

    never ever underestimate the power of a pissed off woman. prenuptuals or contracts or whatever means nothing to them. once again, i DO HOPE it works out but............ i DO THINK you are going to be in for a few surprises.

    she: i will be leaving my home, my friends, my work, my family, my cat, my country, for you. why do you want me to sign this? do you not trust me? is this how we intend to live our life? without trust?

    you want me to cook for you. to wash your clothes for you, keep a nice house, go to work, earn money for you........

    her brain cells are really saying: darn. nice house. better country. he has lots of money, great roads and no hills anywhere (sorry dutchy but been to holland. the only "hills" i saw where flyovers. ), most probably i will have to do work in the house, he expects me to go to work. be frustrated because i cannot understand half of what is being said to me, then frustrated because i do not know how to get back home as i do not understand the bus service, then expects me to be a housewife, be nice to his children, friends etc etc and if it does not work, walk out with sweet nothing! NO WAY! if he wants me to drop my thongs, open my legs for him and fake orgasms he had better remove that piece of junk away from my face as i am not signing nothing.



    to all russian scammers: i am somewhat of a bullshi*ter myself but i do like to listen to a professional. please carry on

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    622

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by Sonar


    When I gave a copy to my girl to read, she got really pissed. Accused me of not trusting her because she is Russian. I explained to her that such a document would be necessary with any woman from anywhere. Then she tells me that I am a very greedy man. I told her to go jump off a bridge and sent her home.

    A man's mind, streched by a new idea, will never re-gain it's original dimension.
    as i said in another post on another thread, do not assume she always understands what is being said. from russian women i have met, they seem to like nodding when being talked to. to us it means "yes yes yes". to them it seems to mean "i understand a little. but heck what do half the words you said mean"!

    and PLEASE last but not least........

    never ever underestimate the power of a pissed off woman. prenuptuals or contracts or whatever means nothing to them. once again, i DO HOPE it works out but............ i DO THINK you are going to be in for a few surprises.

    she: i will be leaving my home, my friends, my work, my family, my cat, my country, for you. why do you want me to sign this? do you not trust me? is this how we intend to live our life? without trust?

    you want me to cook for you. to wash your clothes for you, keep a nice house, go to work, earn money for you........

    her brain cells are really saying: darn. nice house. better country. he has lots of money, great roads and no hills anywhere (sorry dutchy but been to holland. the only "hills" i saw where flyovers. ), most probably i will have to do work in the house, he expects me to go to work. be frustrated because i cannot understand half of what is being said to me, then frustrated because i do not know how to get back home as i do not understand the bus service, then expects me to be a housewife, be nice to his children, friends etc etc and if it does not work, walk out with sweet nothing! NO WAY! if he wants me to drop my thongs, open my legs for him and fake orgasms he had better remove that piece of junk away from my face as i am not signing nothing.



    to all russian scammers: i am somewhat of a bullshi*ter myself but i do like to listen to a professional. please carry on

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    124

    Default

    Guys,

    First of all, thanks for all your usefull input and thoughts.
    I really appreciate it.

    Nick.
    3. I m sure, I had such arrangement with a previous (Dutch) girlfriend.
    You can even take up in the contract that it cannot be challenged before the court and in case of a disagreement the lawyer who made up the contract makes a final verdicts, which also cannot be challenged before court.
    This all to prevent massive lawyer bills and endless dragging cases going from court to court.
    Without a contract, when splitting up, she can take me to court and try to get what ever she wants!!

    5. Yes, this week she got the stamp in her passport for perminent resident of Holland for the next 2 years, including a work permit during this time. This will be renewed if she has passed the Dutch language course, which is organised by the government and is mandatory to follow and to pass the examinations. The costs for this stamp and all the paperwork? Little less as 1000 euro!!!!
    First she has to take the language course, 4 full days a week till she passes the examinations of it, she already speaks French, Italian and Arabic, so I guess Dutch should be not a real problem.
    By the end of the course she should be able to speak, understand and write Dutch at a high school level. After this she can start looking for a job.

    I know all east eurpean woman are checked into detail at Schiphol

    I will take all your good advice into consideration.

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