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  1. #41
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    Sep 2005
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    quote:Originally posted by elenag

    Ham,
    with the divorce rate 50% (or at least you say so, i do not know the statistics), can you then say that marriage itself is worth persuing? according to your logic, if rich and famous failed it at so many times, what can we expect of the of ordinary Joe and Jane Smith, blue collar workers? i am asking you to defend your own argument which you used in some of the examples above.
    chances are very grim. How grim depends on the individuals, but long gone are they days of our ancestors when we heard of 40-50 years, lifetime marriages.
    My mother's acquaintances are 4/5 divorced; the same among broad circles of relatives; things get worse with people 40 yo & under.
    Marriages would last in the past because couples (especially women) were willing to take sh!t...in good & bad times...the "modern" idea of "no fault divorce", where one party can secede at will having with only ground their (momentary) insatisfaction, mostly for frivulous disputes, says all.
    That has nothing to do with status or census...university professors and CEOs are at risk same as high-school dropouts working macjobs.
    The only fairer chances might come when one is TRULY into traditional religions or values like say a mormon, a survivalist etc.


    quote:and i see you finally made up your mind: I am a psychologically disturbed
    instead of emotional catch phrases i rely on facts.
    I'd rather choose a woman 30yo+ than some 16yo...while mileages vary, 16yo women are most likely immature, with high demands, overboard expectations etc, while (hopefully) older women have learnt a lesson or 2.

    quote:but if the wife is not into dancing (more like cooking and things like that), doesn't care about having sex whole night,
    you forgot knitting & reading the bible... at least agencies tell so...

  2. #42
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    Sep 2005
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    423

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    i see. so is that your opinion that no woman (in general or Russian in particular - please specify) before age 40+ can enjoy gardening, cooking or other such activities more than dancing?

    forget the agencies. i never bothered to read what they write, and I am not planning to start now... just use your own experiences to state your opinion.

    oh wait... you are from Italy. i have no idea how italian ladies behave, so maybe it is an unfair question that is bound to have a fault logic...

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    328

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    Elenag,
    I will be honest with you, as always. I will not change the diapers myself simply because I know my parents will not feel good about it. I actually think they will feel much better if I don't make them feel they're in need for me... there are always bunch of ways to help each other without really interfering into intimate issues. Christmas is on the way and jesus says if you want to help do not show up (kinda thing)...
    That's my answer to you elenag... As for the diaper issues let me tell ya I haven't noticed this in canada. Things might be related to the kinda food the americans eat. For example, gastric cancer is more prevalent in japan and the reason is because japanese people eat lots of nitrosamines. Colorectal cancer is common (2nd most common cancer) in 1st world countries because of many issues (cancer is a multifactorial disease, requires multiple-hit theory) but increase in fat diet is shown to be a moderate risk factor for colorectal cancer. American diet is mainly constipating and this actually causes some functional problems that might end up with rectal prolapse and hence incontinence. Don't forget also that the incidence of Alzheimer's disease increases as we go older and this is also a cause. Other issues include the lifespan of a north american which is more than the russian.
    Elenag, being incontinent is something difficult to treat... the frequency of the problem might also be underrecognised in some cultures specially the russian one (we all know how the russians are proud of themselves and they probably consider this a shame).
    Hope this helps.

  4. #44
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    Sep 2005
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    423

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    thank you, detective.

  5. #45
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    Sep 2005
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    quote:Originally posted by ham
    chances are very grim. How grim depends on the individuals, but long gone are they days of our ancestors when we heard of 40-50 years, lifetime marriages.That has nothing to do with status or census...university professors and CEOs are at risk same as high-school dropouts working macjobs.
    Wait. But you said: "he was wealthy & famous but couldn't hold it together...guess how worse can (very likely) sail average joe bank clerk..." you used that argument to support your argument that age difference marriages will not last.
    now it is "That has nothing to do with status or census...university professors and CEOs are at risk same as high-school dropouts working macjobs".

    do you see a conflict in those two staements? or maybe (just maybe?) you were wrong when you made the first statement? please tell me.

    you said that instead of emotional catches you rely on facts. what facts? that a playboy editor's marriage to a young model didn;t work out? or that the lover shoot someone's young wife?

    and I have refuted those arguments. i mean i believe that happened, but i told you that many same age marriages ended the exact same way and you (i think) agreed.

    now, with the chances of a marriage being grim, do you (you personally) plan to look for a spouse?

    and you said you were scammed. can i ask you? how old are you were then, and how old was (supposetly) the lady who scammed you? i am curious... of course do not answer if you do not feel like it. i will respect your privacy.


  6. #46
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    Sep 2005
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    this debate reminds me of the ones i had when i stated i disbelieve overboard claims made by many men about themselves over the internet.
    The usual smart cookie would ask for notarized proofs of this & that & i was wrong & he truly was a six figures neurosurgeon & all that.
    Once i brought US census into the picture, which disproved their claims, they still were right.

    quote:Wait. But you said: "he was wealthy & famous but couldn't hold it together...guess how worse can (very likely) sail average joe bank clerk..." you used that argument to support your argument that age difference marriages will not last.
    now it is "That has nothing to do with status or census...university professors and CEOs are at risk same as high-school dropouts working macjobs".

    do you see a conflict in those two staements? or maybe (just maybe?) you were wrong when you made the first statement? please tell me.
    I don't care whom you sleep with...i say: come after 15 or 20 years and let's talk.
    Afraid you won't be there as many because of divorce?
    Not my problem.
    It's useless you yell yourself hoarse now...every freshly married idiot thinks he'll last a lifetime.
    There is no conflict.
    Wealthy people can have nannies, can take vacations, can enjoy every comfort...still stress & couple problems make those marriages end.
    Guess how tougher it is for labour class Jane who must do her house chores, stretch a tiny budget through debts, mortgages etc, has two children to parent and a 10h-day job...no new car, no vacations...

    quote:you said that instead of emotional catches you rely on facts. what facts? that a playboy editor's marriage to a young model didn;t work out? or that the lover shoot someone's young wife?
    single facts make trends up...what an illogic statement...so if i say there is a violent crimes problem, hell, do i am talking about that one guy who got shot at the barber's shop and the other one lady who got stabbed three times during a burglary...?

    quoteh wait... you are from Italy. i have no idea how italian ladies behave, so maybe it is an unfair question that is bound to have a fault logic...
    so, what?
    I have lived abroad for years.
    divorce odds in the west are pretty much the same.

    quote:and you said you were scammed. can i ask you? how old are you were then, and how old was (supposetly) the lady who scammed you? i am curious...
    http://www.antiscam.net/modules.php?...iewtopic&t=218

    she was 5 years younger. I was about 28.

    quote:and I have refuted those arguments
    you refuted nothing.
    you are merely stamping your feet and say you're the exception and behave like when one talks health with an heavy smoker or drinker...they come up with all sorts of excuses and reasons why smoking or drinking isn't much of anything and real health risks lie elsewhere...
    i say: given many cases i witnessed or heard about, i don't believe it.
    you go ahead & prove me wrong.

    i rest my case on this.
    Drink if you want, smoke at leisure and marry someone in his 80's...not my problem.


  7. #47
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    Sep 2005
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    oh shoot! you rest your case and i was just getting started... but as you wish.

  8. #48
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    Nov 2005
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    Guys, "elenag and ham"
    I am not a judge and far from that but I think any person's opinion is based on 3 things:
    1) His/Her cultural background
    2) His/Her knowledge
    3) Experience...
    Briefly, It depends on where are you from and what kind of society and culture you are affected by and how much you put effort in trying to know what happened in the past and what's happening overseas + your own experience. Being a happy and russian lady and married to a successful american man, Elenag is more kinda optimistic in life and thinks that everything is possible and I kinda agree BUT ham's notes are real and statistically I think that ham's point of view is much closer to reality (unfortunately). Exceptions are exceptions even if they are wonderful.... like Elenag's story with her husband.
    When a baby is born, he knows nothing about life. As life goes by he/she starts forming his personality by what his/her mind is capable of analysing + what is available to him/her. I do not really believe in (true vs false).. It all depends. What is obvious and true for an american might be weird for an argentinian. In anyways, I think we learn a lot from discussion.... so please carry on guys

  9. #49
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    Sep 2005
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    so, detective, i guess you at least can point me to those statistics that everyone seem to refer to.

  10. #50
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    Sep 2005
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    because otherwise PLEASE STOP SAYING "STATISTICALLY"!
    no offense.

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