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  1. #61
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    Sep 2005
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    423

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    quote:Originally posted by ham
    You are not Jacques Derrida. Stop playing one. Well, so you say that minority people AND people into unconventional lifestyles do not cry foul every time they can AND pose as "mortally offended" as a way to divert attention from the main topic? If you say so...
    I am sorry I didn?t realize I was playing Jacques Derrida. Who is he/she, by the way?

    And you still didn?t answer my question. My question was: If only the people who are into unconventional lifestyle (such as blacks and minorities in your previous examples) freeze up or cry foul when feel offended, then what people who are into the conventional lifestyle do?


    quote:Originally posted by ham
    quote:Now, apples and pooping pants aside. I bet you have just as many skeletons in the closet as most of us, mortals. So why do you take so much pleasure in throwing stones at others?
    i am not a coward. i never dodged anything. i never sent anyone dying. i don't claim i want to invade another country because god told me so. i never flew up there while my country was under attack. So if that is the same as tax avoidance for you, then ok. You're mixing apples & dog's sh!t, but whatever.
    One more time: I don?t care about Bush, so can we please stop bringing him up?

    Also, please notice that you shifted the focus of the discussion again. I asked you, ?. I bet you have just as many skeletons in the closet as most of us, mortals. So why do you take so much pleasure in throwing stones at others? ?, and you gave me, ?At least I am not sending people to die!? speech. So, what about my question?


    quote:Originally posted by ham
    well, everybody loves fresh meat. Period.
    I am guessing it was a confirmation that I was right in my assumption that most men prefer younger females. For whatever reason.

    If that is the case, firstly, don?t you think we need to stop looking down at such behavior? If it is a norm more than a deviation from a norm, then maybe we can just get our heads around that those are laws of physical attraction and trying to suppress them will be rather difficult.

    Secondly, why do you call it ?meat?? You have repeated ?meat? several times. At first I thought it was you just being grumpy, but now I see it is more than that. Do you consider all women to be ?meat?, or just the young ones?



    quote:Originally posted by ham
    Then men got brains, not only balls.
    Balls tell me to a$$ rape her in the back alley.
    Brains tell me that i have nothing in common with her; that she's probably out of my league and that her only (or prominent) interest in dealing with me would be because i could provide her with a better lifestyle, more money or whatever.
    Such is not the most promising starting point for any relationship.
    That will require more & more money thrown at the problem, until either she gets bored or my wallet empties.
    Ok, very well. Thank you.
    Now. Your replay indicated that:
    1. You would be very pleased to have relationship (sexually abusive relationship?) with young attractive lady
    2. You understand that despite her sexual attractiveness, such lady nevertheless would not be the best choice for the relationship (for a number of reasons).

    Did I get it right?

    So, what makes you think that women are not capable of this very same calculation?

    Let?s see. I totally agree that many younger guys are certainly more physically appealing than some older guys (though of course depends on the guy and how they take care of themselves). However, despite their physical attractiveness, I understand that the younger guys may not be the best choice for my marriage (for a number of reasons).

    The only real difference is, that when you use this calculation, you call it ?common sense? and praise yourself for doing so, while when I use this calculation you look down at me and criticize my choice.



    quote:Originally posted by ham
    i already told you that.
    Given two women with very similar features (EG say blond/blue eyes, square jaw, this tall, this breast size ), yet one is 40 in great physical shape AND the other is 19 but weighs 180kg, has bad acne etc etc, THEN of course men will choose the 40yo. Men are not idiots.
    My point is, that even tho? wait, did you say ?breast size?? I had a good laugh right there? ok, anyway, I was saying that looks and attitudes are just or if not even more important, than age. (Except for compulsive people). Would you agree?


    quote:Originally posted by ham
    As i said, both the ugly young and the older ones are screened OUT of the picture at the beginning. There may be 2 equally similar & in equally good shape women, but one is 18 and another is 26...who do you think the man (especially old) would choose?
    If both women are equally interested in him and both have equally nice, positive personalities? Probably they younger one. From the evolutionary point of view, it would be a good choice. So, what?s the crime?



    quote:Originally posted by ham
    quote:Hm.. countless you say? How much exactly is ?countless? to you? Over 100 billions? Or over 1 billion? Or over 1 million? Or over 500,000? Or over 10,000? Or over 1,000? Or over 500? Or over 50? Or over 25? Or ten?
    poor job.
    On what?


    quote:Originally posted by ham
    You have no thousands over thousands of such "unconventional" marriages.
    How do you know? Or, no, let?s do it this way: how many such marriages are out there?


    quote:Originally posted by ham
    Therefore the failure rate (increasing from the average 40-50% ) will start from there.
    A wild guess (knowing such unconventional relationships stand much higher risk than average ones; and you said they do stand higher risk ), it is not far fetched to assume if the average divorce rate is 50%, then such marriages can be at a 60-70%+ divorce rate. Assuming the age gap only affects the whole in a 10-20% ratio.
    Oh, ok, so from 50% we went to a whooping 60-70%!!! Given that we all have a pretty poor chance to begin with, and given all the problems with the young guys, I will take extra 10-20% risk and marry the older one.


    quote:Originally posted by ham
    what's the only or predominant difference between a man in his 30 and one in his 50? On average, money. That is all. About your motives, you said it all yourself.
    Are you saying that all 50 years old have more money than 30 years old? Because otherwise your comment makes no sense to me.


    quote:Originally posted by ham
    this shows you're only arguing back without thinking first.
    And how did I showed that? I must have missed something?


    quote:Originally posted by ham
    There are tobacco and smoking advocacy groups, which challenge on a daily basis the results of tests or studies indicting tobacco or alcohol.
    Same as there is a "pedophile league" in Holland arguing in courts having sex for children under 10 is very good.
    So, now you comparing my arguments to the ones ?pedophile league" uses?!? I am starting to wonder what the next comparison will be?.


    quote:Originally posted by ham
    They mostly do what you do: play the devil's advocated; cross their t's and point out any flaw in any study exposing tobacco or alcohol.
    Well, at least they have some study material to argue about. What do we have on this subject? Times and times again I asked you to show me a study that has been conducted to show effects of age difference in marriage. As far as I can tell, there is none. Therefore, I repeat, we are just arguing our opinions. Very different from the tobacco issue in my opinion. They have statistics showing people smoking, at what ages, cases of cancer and other illnesses, etc etc.


    quote:
    No official body bothered with statistics on marriages with 30 years age gap because it is just so odd there aren't enough of them to make a significant samples
    Ok, it? probably true. But what about 20 years age gap? 15? 10? There are more of them.


  2. #62
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

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    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet
    You hit the nail right on the head when you said "this shows you're only arguing back without thinking first."Some people have the mind of a plant.
    A mind of a plant? Mr. Ham, do you agree with ScamMagnet? About the mind of a plant? I am curious.



    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet
    The only people i know that ever married that were not in love, was normaly over a pregnancy Or trying to obtain citizenship, The ones that married for citizenship, lived together for a specified amount of time or not at all, Pretending to.
    That was your experience. I had a different experience in my own marriage, as well as with other Russian-American couples.


    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet
    And seeing that see is a very attractive woman (wedding photo).
    Well, thank you, I appreciate your compliment. By the way, where did you see my wedding pictures?

    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet
    What comes to my mind is that she sold herself to the highest bidder, its most likely that the other 100 could'nt afford her?

    OK, Now correct me if I'm wrong, but the way i see it , all her husband did was buy himself a nice piece of ass,you know,live in escort, prostitute.
    what do you think would happen if he suddenly went broke overnight, would she stay ?? Its allways about the MONEY!!
    That was quite a speech, except that nothing you said in there is supported by the actual facts.

    Here are some actual facts to address your concerns.
    1. My husband was the only one who ever offered his support to me. So, ?highest bidder? situation does not apply.
    2. From the quote you gave it sounds like my husband would give me over 1K each month. I already corrected other speakers on this issue several times. My husband would send me $100-$200/mo for English lessons, Internet and personal expenses over a period of 8+ months. I think it is a reasonable amount. He also paid for all my visa and travel associated expenses (otherwise I would still be in Russia). Does this really sound like prostitution to you?
    3. My husband could not offer me more in monthly support because he didn?t have more himself. After a bad divorce and loosing his business, he was considering filing bankruptcy, but never actually did it. However, whatever he sent was plenty to cover my English lessons and other things, so I had no problem with that.
    4. My husband and I have already been broke at least twice. In 2003 he was unemployed for 6 months, we stayed at his sister?s house and it was the first time I went to work to support our family. I got a job as a server at a restaurant and would work 2 shifts each day (up to 60-70 hs her week) + run RD to keep our bills paid. Then in 2004 he was unemployed for 7 months, and since we had rent to pay that time, I had to work 2 part time restaurant jobs and 1 part time night restocking job at a department store, and also run RD plus the flower delivery business plus do translations. Very hard time, but we made it.

    There seems to be a misconception around here that my husband is wealthy. Not true.

    Here is some background. When I arrived to the USA in 2000, he had a 6-years old Ford Taurus SW, a computer desk, a computer, a bed, and a whole bunch of boxes with books, personal items and stuff. Those were all his assets. We were renting an apartment. At first we didn?t even have a TV, no dining room table, no living room furniture. When I moved here, he had about $4k in his bank account, about 28K in back taxes and about 20K+ in consumer debt (credit cards + car loan). No savings, no retirement account, no investments. We were able to do good in 2000 through 2003, paying off back taxes and paying for his daughter college, but then 2003 and 2004 were very bad for us.

    Now, after being totally broke in 2004 (we came within $300 from not being able to pay rent and bills), we are back on track, and he started a 401k and a savings account. In 2004 I bought my husband a used car (because the one he has was getting old and unreliable) out of my own money that I saved working my restaurant job. It was his birthday present, I was very proud I was able to do it on my own. I inherited the old car (and I am pretty happy with it, even though we just had engine rebuilt on it). Also during that time we were also putting his daughter through college. I, additionally, was supporting my family and putting my younger brother through college out of my own money (regular jobs+ my businesses).

    Currently his daughter and my brother are both done with their colleges, I am working on paying off all our credit cards completely and saving up money on down payment on a house. I think within this year we should be able to reach this goal if his employment stays stable. I also plan to start my own education now.

    Because my husband has no talent for any kind of accounting or record keeping, I am the one responsible for all budgets (weekly, monthly, yearly) to make sure we do not overspend. I am also preparing information for tax returns for our family and both our businesses. Now instead of paying taxes, we usually get a refund from IRS (because I do not loose business receipts like he usually does). Additionally I always make sure every bill is paid on time (my husband fails that this task miserably). His credit rating used to be very low, now we are finally bringing it up little by little. On the overall, though we do not live in poverty, we certainly live very frugally.

    I am sorry it took so long to write it, but I hope it will give you an understanding of what kind of financial situation my marriage has. Now, Scam Magnet, do you still think that I would leave my husband if he went broke?


    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet
    I can't help but wonder, How do you write to 100 guys at the same time, FORM LETTERS ?
    No. Actually, they were writing to me. I was barely trying to respond to everyone. I was translating most letters with a computer translation program and trying to write back using dictionary. . Very long and painful process. 1 page letter would take 3 hours to write. Sometimes, out of frustration, I would ?cheat? and use the program to translate my letter into English, as well.

    The amount of people who wrote to me (and with whom I started to correspond) is actually unknown. I just tried to count the printed out letters once, there was a big pile of them? it was 100+, something like 107. But some of those letters were possible from the same people, some of them I received but never answered? once I concentrated on writing my husband only, I felt very relieved that I do not need to keep up with all that correspondence monster anymore.

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

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    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet
    You hit the nail right on the head when you said "this shows you're only arguing back without thinking first."Some people have the mind of a plant.
    A mind of a plant? Mr. Ham, do you agree with ScamMagnet? About the mind of a plant? I am curious.



    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet
    The only people i know that ever married that were not in love, was normaly over a pregnancy Or trying to obtain citizenship, The ones that married for citizenship, lived together for a specified amount of time or not at all, Pretending to.
    That was your experience. I had a different experience in my own marriage, as well as with other Russian-American couples.


    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet
    And seeing that see is a very attractive woman (wedding photo).
    Well, thank you, I appreciate your compliment. By the way, where did you see my wedding pictures?

    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet
    What comes to my mind is that she sold herself to the highest bidder, its most likely that the other 100 could'nt afford her?

    OK, Now correct me if I'm wrong, but the way i see it , all her husband did was buy himself a nice piece of ass,you know,live in escort, prostitute.
    what do you think would happen if he suddenly went broke overnight, would she stay ?? Its allways about the MONEY!!
    That was quite a speech, except that nothing you said in there is supported by the actual facts.

    Here are some actual facts to address your concerns.
    1. My husband was the only one who ever offered his support to me. So, ?highest bidder? situation does not apply.
    2. From the quote you gave it sounds like my husband would give me over 1K each month. I already corrected other speakers on this issue several times. My husband would send me $100-$200/mo for English lessons, Internet and personal expenses over a period of 8+ months. I think it is a reasonable amount. He also paid for all my visa and travel associated expenses (otherwise I would still be in Russia). Does this really sound like prostitution to you?
    3. My husband could not offer me more in monthly support because he didn?t have more himself. After a bad divorce and loosing his business, he was considering filing bankruptcy, but never actually did it. However, whatever he sent was plenty to cover my English lessons and other things, so I had no problem with that.
    4. My husband and I have already been broke at least twice. In 2003 he was unemployed for 6 months, we stayed at his sister?s house and it was the first time I went to work to support our family. I got a job as a server at a restaurant and would work 2 shifts each day (up to 60-70 hs her week) + run RD to keep our bills paid. Then in 2004 he was unemployed for 7 months, and since we had rent to pay that time, I had to work 2 part time restaurant jobs and 1 part time night restocking job at a department store, and also run RD plus the flower delivery business plus do translations. Very hard time, but we made it.

    There seems to be a misconception around here that my husband is wealthy. Not true.

    Here is some background. When I arrived to the USA in 2000, he had a 6-years old Ford Taurus SW, a computer desk, a computer, a bed, and a whole bunch of boxes with books, personal items and stuff. Those were all his assets. We were renting an apartment. At first we didn?t even have a TV, no dining room table, no living room furniture. When I moved here, he had about $4k in his bank account, about 28K in back taxes and about 20K+ in consumer debt (credit cards + car loan). No savings, no retirement account, no investments. We were able to do good in 2000 through 2003, paying off back taxes and paying for his daughter college, but then 2003 and 2004 were very bad for us.

    Now, after being totally broke in 2004 (we came within $300 from not being able to pay rent and bills), we are back on track, and he started a 401k and a savings account. In 2004 I bought my husband a used car (because the one he has was getting old and unreliable) out of my own money that I saved working my restaurant job. It was his birthday present, I was very proud I was able to do it on my own. I inherited the old car (and I am pretty happy with it, even though we just had engine rebuilt on it). Also during that time we were also putting his daughter through college. I, additionally, was supporting my family and putting my younger brother through college out of my own money (regular jobs+ my businesses).

    Currently his daughter and my brother are both done with their colleges, I am working on paying off all our credit cards completely and saving up money on down payment on a house. I think within this year we should be able to reach this goal if his employment stays stable. I also plan to start my own education now.

    Because my husband has no talent for any kind of accounting or record keeping, I am the one responsible for all budgets (weekly, monthly, yearly) to make sure we do not overspend. I am also preparing information for tax returns for our family and both our businesses. Now instead of paying taxes, we usually get a refund from IRS (because I do not loose business receipts like he usually does). Additionally I always make sure every bill is paid on time (my husband fails that this task miserably). His credit rating used to be very low, now we are finally bringing it up little by little. On the overall, though we do not live in poverty, we certainly live very frugally.

    I am sorry it took so long to write it, but I hope it will give you an understanding of what kind of financial situation my marriage has. Now, Scam Magnet, do you still think that I would leave my husband if he went broke?


    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet
    I can't help but wonder, How do you write to 100 guys at the same time, FORM LETTERS ?
    No. Actually, they were writing to me. I was barely trying to respond to everyone. I was translating most letters with a computer translation program and trying to write back using dictionary. . Very long and painful process. 1 page letter would take 3 hours to write. Sometimes, out of frustration, I would ?cheat? and use the program to translate my letter into English, as well.

    The amount of people who wrote to me (and with whom I started to correspond) is actually unknown. I just tried to count the printed out letters once, there was a big pile of them? it was 100+, something like 107. But some of those letters were possible from the same people, some of them I received but never answered? once I concentrated on writing my husband only, I felt very relieved that I do not need to keep up with all that correspondence monster anymore.

  4. #64

    Default

    JEEEZZ... I feel like I'm in the same type of back+forth like you and ham are doing.
    1. You are a woman and dont think like a man, the way that you describe and write is why you are questioned, You don't think before you write.Thats why you are questioned, and for crying out loud,your a russian woman and most of the men on these forums are interested in russian woman etc. so would'nt you say, that some may look at you as some type of example of what a russian woman might be like? DUH !
    2. would you say you are setting a good example?
    3. Now that you told what your situation was when you met your husband
    it portrays a different story all together and the way its looked at,much better.Maybe this be a lesson to you.
    4. Please forgive me for my rude comments in the past,thats not the kind of person that I am, they were uncalled for.
    5. Yeah your wedding photo was pretty HOT [], I came across in when i was in the russian wedding photo black list.
    Mike


    "WHATS THE ATTRACTION"

  5. #65

    Default

    JEEEZZ... I feel like I'm in the same type of back+forth like you and ham are doing.
    1. You are a woman and dont think like a man, the way that you describe and write is why you are questioned, You don't think before you write.Thats why you are questioned, and for crying out loud,your a russian woman and most of the men on these forums are interested in russian woman etc. so would'nt you say, that some may look at you as some type of example of what a russian woman might be like? DUH !
    2. would you say you are setting a good example?
    3. Now that you told what your situation was when you met your husband
    it portrays a different story all together and the way its looked at,much better.Maybe this be a lesson to you.
    4. Please forgive me for my rude comments in the past,thats not the kind of person that I am, they were uncalled for.
    5. Yeah your wedding photo was pretty HOT [], I came across in when i was in the russian wedding photo black list.
    Mike


    "WHATS THE ATTRACTION"

  6. #66
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    692

    Default

    quote:I am sorry I didn?t realize I was playing Jacques Derrida. Who is he/she, by the way?
    a french philosopher into deconstruction.
    Deconstruction basically means words, concepts or things are not what they seem and the assigned meaning is questioned.

    quote:If only the people who are into unconventional lifestyle (such as blacks and minorities in your previous examples) freeze up or cry foul when feel offended, then what people who are into the conventional lifestyle do?
    concrete examples so you can understand. A friend was high school teacher in Montreal. In his big classes, who would make the hell break loose crying foul & indicting "racism" in case of a failed class, poor grade or reprimand? Negroes first, then other minorities. Now don't ask me why. Second: Many know the "Anne Frank's diary", the sensation WWII jewish bestseller, was written in part with a stylo a bille, ball pen, invented only in the 1950's. Authenticity let aside, during the break down of Yugoslavia some thought they could replicate the sensation and some "diary of Zlata Povic" was published along the same lines, where of course table turned and instead of evil nazies & poor jews you had evil croatians or whatever & poor bosnians. Needless to say, Zlata's diary never became a hit: why? I won't go further into this.

    quote:I bet you have just as many skeletons in the closet as most of us, mortals. So why do you take so much pleasure in throwing stones at others? ?, and you gave me, ?At least I am not sending people to die!? speech. So, what about my question?
    your statement is idiotic.
    you're mixing apples & dog's sh!t.
    So in your opinion a dodger who starts a war & lets OTHERS die instead of dodging like he did is "just another small glitch in one's life" like speeding? Then think whatever you want.

    quote:I am guessing it was a confirmation that I was right in my assumption that most men prefer younger females. For whatever reason.
    and the older the man the crazier the frenzy.

    quote:Let?s see. I totally agree that many younger guys are certainly more physically appealing than some older guys (though of course depends on the guy and how they take care of themselves). However, despite their physical attractiveness, I understand that the younger guys may not be the best choice for my marriage (for a number of reasons).
    i wrote elsewhere:

    quote:Of course some men may be tempted and say: "so, what?! Ok, it's sort of an arranged thing, but who cares! I'm in my 50s, two divorces, not an hopeless romantic anymore, thus i'd better go for it because i can't get arm candy locally anyway! Love is for the poet. I'm taking viagra and having great sex tonight in the face of my buddy Elvis and his mummy wife! ".
    Sure...
    I have nothing to say.
    She closes her eyes & thinks of Mel Gibson, Brad Pitt or -more likely- good old Boris back home, her nice ex-boyfriend whose main fault was to drive some 1985 ford escort while still living with his parents, not a mercedes like you do.
    Foot the bills and be happy until it lasts.
    Someday she may just meet someone at school or while shopping and your bubble can burst; she can just get bored or think she has played the game long enough; she may want the spark of "feelings" back in her life: it happens all the time...then your second or third divorce perhaps, leaving you depleted at an age when you have little time left to rebuild your fortune.
    Remember there are no big feelings, prude face saving or poet's stuff in between her & yellow pages under "divorce lawyers": that's why it worked to start with.
    My personal opinion is that such "arranged" things with such level-headed presence of mind are ok for a "relationship"...marriage being something different (children etc), although today the 2 intertwine for most people.
    quote:The only real difference is, that when you use this calculation, you call it ?common sense? and praise yourself for doing so, while when I use this calculation you look down at me and criticize my choice.
    i wrote elsewhere:

    quote there lies the truth: a pragmatic approach, a career move perhaps, getting settled; wise indeed.
    no doubt you played your best cards.
    Then, there are even women into the "father figure" syndrome. Psychologists have written much about that.
    I said this 50 posts ago.
    I don't think things happen by sheer chance...there must be a reason why a woman prefers much older men: money, psychological issues to deal with, or both.


    quote:From the evolutionary point of view, it would be a good choice. So, what?s the crime?
    that is rubbish.
    i once pooled some genealogy archives in Canada.
    i thought in the old times huge age gaps were common.
    i was wrong.
    Of course old men like women half their age to brag about & sport like they would a luxury car or a gold watch.

    quote:How do you know? Or, no, let?s do it this way: how many such marriages are out there?
    rubbish again.
    Well, for a start query the database of some big church or city hall.
    they usually publish the bride & groom's details.
    See how many have 15+ age gap, then move from there.


    quote:Therefore, I repeat, we are just arguing our opinions.
    of course.
    first, i don't think citing any study would change your mind: i'd just waste my time .
    Second, you say you'll be happier than ever when you're 40 & he's 68...i say you'll be long divorced before that, based on cases i could read about, but as i said 50 posts earlier, feel free to prove me wrong.

    quote:Ok, it? probably true. But what about 20 years age gap? 15? 10? There are more of them.
    do you really believe this nonsense or are you just trying to be funny?
    Of course the lower the age gap, the bigger the number; and now you can be even funnier saying: so what's wrong? After all, 5, 10 or 30 years age gap are the same. Yes, sure honey, whatever you say.




  7. #67
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    692

    Default

    quote:I am sorry I didn?t realize I was playing Jacques Derrida. Who is he/she, by the way?
    a french philosopher into deconstruction.
    Deconstruction basically means words, concepts or things are not what they seem and the assigned meaning is questioned.

    quote:If only the people who are into unconventional lifestyle (such as blacks and minorities in your previous examples) freeze up or cry foul when feel offended, then what people who are into the conventional lifestyle do?
    concrete examples so you can understand. A friend was high school teacher in Montreal. In his big classes, who would make the hell break loose crying foul & indicting "racism" in case of a failed class, poor grade or reprimand? Negroes first, then other minorities. Now don't ask me why. Second: Many know the "Anne Frank's diary", the sensation WWII jewish bestseller, was written in part with a stylo a bille, ball pen, invented only in the 1950's. Authenticity let aside, during the break down of Yugoslavia some thought they could replicate the sensation and some "diary of Zlata Povic" was published along the same lines, where of course table turned and instead of evil nazies & poor jews you had evil croatians or whatever & poor bosnians. Needless to say, Zlata's diary never became a hit: why? I won't go further into this.

    quote:I bet you have just as many skeletons in the closet as most of us, mortals. So why do you take so much pleasure in throwing stones at others? ?, and you gave me, ?At least I am not sending people to die!? speech. So, what about my question?
    your statement is idiotic.
    you're mixing apples & dog's sh!t.
    So in your opinion a dodger who starts a war & lets OTHERS die instead of dodging like he did is "just another small glitch in one's life" like speeding? Then think whatever you want.

    quote:I am guessing it was a confirmation that I was right in my assumption that most men prefer younger females. For whatever reason.
    and the older the man the crazier the frenzy.

    quote:Let?s see. I totally agree that many younger guys are certainly more physically appealing than some older guys (though of course depends on the guy and how they take care of themselves). However, despite their physical attractiveness, I understand that the younger guys may not be the best choice for my marriage (for a number of reasons).
    i wrote elsewhere:

    quote:Of course some men may be tempted and say: "so, what?! Ok, it's sort of an arranged thing, but who cares! I'm in my 50s, two divorces, not an hopeless romantic anymore, thus i'd better go for it because i can't get arm candy locally anyway! Love is for the poet. I'm taking viagra and having great sex tonight in the face of my buddy Elvis and his mummy wife! ".
    Sure...
    I have nothing to say.
    She closes her eyes & thinks of Mel Gibson, Brad Pitt or -more likely- good old Boris back home, her nice ex-boyfriend whose main fault was to drive some 1985 ford escort while still living with his parents, not a mercedes like you do.
    Foot the bills and be happy until it lasts.
    Someday she may just meet someone at school or while shopping and your bubble can burst; she can just get bored or think she has played the game long enough; she may want the spark of "feelings" back in her life: it happens all the time...then your second or third divorce perhaps, leaving you depleted at an age when you have little time left to rebuild your fortune.
    Remember there are no big feelings, prude face saving or poet's stuff in between her & yellow pages under "divorce lawyers": that's why it worked to start with.
    My personal opinion is that such "arranged" things with such level-headed presence of mind are ok for a "relationship"...marriage being something different (children etc), although today the 2 intertwine for most people.
    quote:The only real difference is, that when you use this calculation, you call it ?common sense? and praise yourself for doing so, while when I use this calculation you look down at me and criticize my choice.
    i wrote elsewhere:

    quote there lies the truth: a pragmatic approach, a career move perhaps, getting settled; wise indeed.
    no doubt you played your best cards.
    Then, there are even women into the "father figure" syndrome. Psychologists have written much about that.
    I said this 50 posts ago.
    I don't think things happen by sheer chance...there must be a reason why a woman prefers much older men: money, psychological issues to deal with, or both.


    quote:From the evolutionary point of view, it would be a good choice. So, what?s the crime?
    that is rubbish.
    i once pooled some genealogy archives in Canada.
    i thought in the old times huge age gaps were common.
    i was wrong.
    Of course old men like women half their age to brag about & sport like they would a luxury car or a gold watch.

    quote:How do you know? Or, no, let?s do it this way: how many such marriages are out there?
    rubbish again.
    Well, for a start query the database of some big church or city hall.
    they usually publish the bride & groom's details.
    See how many have 15+ age gap, then move from there.


    quote:Therefore, I repeat, we are just arguing our opinions.
    of course.
    first, i don't think citing any study would change your mind: i'd just waste my time .
    Second, you say you'll be happier than ever when you're 40 & he's 68...i say you'll be long divorced before that, based on cases i could read about, but as i said 50 posts earlier, feel free to prove me wrong.

    quote:Ok, it? probably true. But what about 20 years age gap? 15? 10? There are more of them.
    do you really believe this nonsense or are you just trying to be funny?
    Of course the lower the age gap, the bigger the number; and now you can be even funnier saying: so what's wrong? After all, 5, 10 or 30 years age gap are the same. Yes, sure honey, whatever you say.




  8. #68

    Default

    Elenag, I was just kidding about your wedding photo, I saw it on the video clip on scammers you were on.
    Mike

  9. #69

    Default

    Elenag, I was just kidding about your wedding photo, I saw it on the video clip on scammers you were on.
    Mike

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by scam magnet

    Elenag, I was just kidding about your wedding photo, I saw it on the video clip on scammers you were on.
    Mike
    I see.
    By the way, what about my question to you in the previous post? Do you still believe I will leave my husband if he is broke? I am most curious.

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