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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    692

    Default AGE DIFFERENCE in a MOB relationship

    Since the "age difference" debate seems to attract many people, i'll start a special thread about it, so that we don't pollute unrelated threads with tirades about this. I will also state here that -in the end- it is one's private & individual business, so for all i have to loose...prove me wrong if you can & good luck! Have fun until it lasts!

    I personally think most people bury their heads in the sand about it.
    Sure, it's like when telling non-whites that a large majority of FSUWs might not or actually does not like them as potential partners...the hell breaks loose & you hear all sorts of excuses, tirades, rhetorics, conspiracy theories etc washed down by simple principles such as the heart only matters; love knows no bounds; Jeez loves us all, etc; and how "hateful", "disrespectful", "bigot" etc is thinking otherwise.
    I think it is self-explanatory.
    Someone who is 18, or 20 or 22 won't have much in common with someone who is 38/48, 40/50, 42/52...
    Even someone who is 30 will have very little in common with someone who is 50 or 60.
    Of course the clash of attitudes, beliefs, stamina, hobbies, whatever will be more striking in a 20-50 couple than 30-60, but only to an extent.
    I'm not questioning fresh meat has its appeal. Period.
    But i think if one doesn't need a bouncer to keep his younger dates in line at home, and a minibus to bring them back home every time he goes to say a pub [u]in his home town, then there is a problem.
    For all i care, i'm one of them...perhaps my looks are really poor; my jokes old, i got alitosis or rather my wallet isn't so thick...who knows.
    Sure, there is the one-in-a-million exception out there...i know none in person, yet know a few sponsorship-based relationships where younger women basically parasite older men and the deal is
    money<->sex and money<->self-esteem boost.

    So it doesn't happen at home.
    Why would women from Ukraine or Moldova be any different from women from France, Greece or Oklahoma?
    I know it's annoying and at times unbearable to deal with the above, but that's life.
    All with the 40-50% likely divorce rate in the background, and that is for people roughly within the same class, whether it be race, income, status or age.
    Say a white mormon activist with higher education marrying some negro pot-smoking, high-school dropout african liberal doesn't look very promising on paper...

    Most agree that people can be cast out because of their looks: they're too fat, bald, big head, small head, big ears, disabled, whatever; wealth, profession etc play a very important role: none will challenge the above as truth.
    Race for non-whites and age for older people seem the only exception.
    A fallacy if you ask me.

    A few quotes from some russian woman here who officially disagrees, which prove my point:
    http://www.stop-scammers.com/forum/t...p?TOPIC_ID=351..
    quote:I was glad to bail out of Russia. I didn't plan for it to happen that way, but it happened, and I am glad. [u]I never said I loved my husband. I was never looking for a love in the first place. I never said my friends love their husband. I don't think they (my friends) were looking for love either. Their husbands may have been looking for love, but I think they were glad to settle in with their Russian girlfriends, love or not love. We all were looking to GET MARRIED. Start a family. Not be lonely. Have someone to share a life with.
    quote:I wanted a marriage that would last. So I decided to never marry anyone I am actually in love with.
    and

    quote:My hubby would send me money for English lessons, and some extra to make sure I can do some fun stuff (like eating pizzas, buying some clothes, going to concerts, or going to Moscow to visit my friends there from time to time), plus for the bus pass , and when I lost my access to free Internet he sent me a laptop (that he bought here and shipped to me by FedEx), he really took care of me and that is the reason why I dumped 100 other guys writing to me and decided to go serious with him. [u]The other guys behaved like weak, indecisive, unreliable people. I said to myself, "I need a man, not a chicken. He is the only one who seems to care enough about me to take care of my needs".
    quote:I have been happiliy married to an American for the last 5 years. He paid for my visa, trip to Moscow (to get it), for my tickets (and even extra for some nice things to do while my last few days in Russia), and had given me probably over $1000 in monthly support for months while the paperwork was processed.
    So there lies the truth: a pragmatic approach, a career move perhaps, getting settled; wise indeed.
    That gives you an idea of the level of expectations for such unconventional relationships to work, left aside any debate in Clinton terms about the meaning of "is", "love" & other things.

    I don't even have to quote the many "insuccess stories" and scam stories told by men pursuing such "dream" of an arm candy & such.
    The person i quoted is only one single example.
    I had at least a couple of those FSU fairies mailing me, who thought anyone not entrusting his business to them and not splurging $ is a chicken, or else undesirable.
    One of them got married to some much older american six years after talking to me, which shows she was consistent enough.
    The poster above claims
    quote:When I was writing to my future hubby, I didn't have any regular job or any education.
    . My fairies had all MBA & other stuff and their expectations were adjusted accordingly.

    I sincerely doubt men are served the truth as in the above quotes, which shall be commended for honesty (at last).
    now just post a free profile on any free dating site & match incoming letters from FSUWs. I bet they are all about wind&fire, earth&sea pastel colored concepts.
    At least i got so many i'd say 4/5 of letters are in that range (from mild to extreme) and only very few share the above realism.
    Who would waste time with someone so blunt & upfront?
    I had my cases: the single mother claiming all she wanted was a better life for her child, etc; the one claiming her sick parents needed support, whatever.
    Jim from Sarasota Florida, Kojiro from Osaka, Nunzio from Palermo, Jean from Paris, or Ahmed from Cairo, all are equally suitable.
    This sounds like a joke but more than once i read insuccess stories where the "wise woman" had played many men from all walks of life.
    Of course some men may be tempted and say: "so, what?! Ok, it's sort of an arranged thing, but who cares! I'm in my 50s, two divorces, not an hopeless romantic anymore, thus i'd better go for it because i can't get arm candy locally anyway! Love is for the poet. I'm taking viagra and having great sex tonight in the face of my buddy Elvis and his mummy wife! ".
    Sure...
    I have nothing to say.
    She closes her eyes & thinks of Mel Gibson, Brad Pitt or -more likely- good old Boris back home, her nice ex-boyfriend whose main fault was to drive some 1985 ford escort while still living with his parents, not a mercedes like you do.
    Foot the bills and be happy until it lasts.
    Someday she may just meet someone at school or while shopping and your bubble can burst; she can just get bored or think she has played the game long enough; she may want the spark of "feelings" back in her life: it happens all the time...then your second or third divorce perhaps, leaving you depleted at an age when you have little time left to rebuild your fortune.
    Remember there are no big feelings, prude face saving or poet's stuff in between her & yellow pages under "divorce lawyers": that's why it worked to start with.
    My personal opinion is that such "arranged" things with such level-headed presence of mind are ok for a "relationship"...marriage being something different (children etc), although today the 2 intertwine for most people.


    Buyer beware!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    256

    Default

    I think this will be true in all marriage cases. Many young people believe in "love at the first sight". I think this is only like a fairytale. In real lives the LOVE develops with time when two people beging to trust and respect each other. Fast marriages which are based on the feeling of "Love at the first sight" will probably die sooner.
    Same concerns the online relations. How could it be possible to fall in love through correspondence and after some meetings ? The real life together will show later what happens. In online relations it is necessary to develop the trust and respect between each other. Love comes later.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    256

    Default

    I think this will be true in all marriage cases. Many young people believe in "love at the first sight". I think this is only like a fairytale. In real lives the LOVE develops with time when two people beging to trust and respect each other. Fast marriages which are based on the feeling of "Love at the first sight" will probably die sooner.
    Same concerns the online relations. How could it be possible to fall in love through correspondence and after some meetings ? The real life together will show later what happens. In online relations it is necessary to develop the trust and respect between each other. Love comes later.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    692

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by lonelyboy

    I think this will be true in all marriage cases. Many young people believe in "love at the first sight". I think this is only like a fairytale. In real lives the LOVE develops with time when two people beging to trust and respect each other. Fast marriages which are based on the feeling of "Love at the first sight" will probably die sooner.
    Same concerns the online relations. How could it be possible to fall in love through correspondence and after some meetings ? The real life together will show later what happens. In online relations it is necessary to develop the trust and respect between each other. Love comes later.
    while all this can be true, what is the driving force behind a man seeking a woman 20-30+ years younger?
    NOT deep philosophical or intellectual values i suppose...just sight of a pretty thing.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    692

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by lonelyboy

    I think this will be true in all marriage cases. Many young people believe in "love at the first sight". I think this is only like a fairytale. In real lives the LOVE develops with time when two people beging to trust and respect each other. Fast marriages which are based on the feeling of "Love at the first sight" will probably die sooner.
    Same concerns the online relations. How could it be possible to fall in love through correspondence and after some meetings ? The real life together will show later what happens. In online relations it is necessary to develop the trust and respect between each other. Love comes later.
    while all this can be true, what is the driving force behind a man seeking a woman 20-30+ years younger?
    NOT deep philosophical or intellectual values i suppose...just sight of a pretty thing.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    692

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by lonelyboy

    I think this will be true in all marriage cases. Many young people believe in "love at the first sight". I think this is only like a fairytale. In real lives the LOVE develops with time when two people beging to trust and respect each other. Fast marriages which are based on the feeling of "Love at the first sight" will probably die sooner.
    Same concerns the online relations. How could it be possible to fall in love through correspondence and after some meetings ? The real life together will show later what happens. In online relations it is necessary to develop the trust and respect between each other. Love comes later.
    while all this can be true, what is the driving force behind a man seeking a woman 20-30+ years younger?
    NOT deep philosophical or intellectual values i suppose...just sight of a pretty thing.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    692

    Default

    quote:Originally posted by lonelyboy

    I think this will be true in all marriage cases. Many young people believe in "love at the first sight". I think this is only like a fairytale. In real lives the LOVE develops with time when two people beging to trust and respect each other. Fast marriages which are based on the feeling of "Love at the first sight" will probably die sooner.
    Same concerns the online relations. How could it be possible to fall in love through correspondence and after some meetings ? The real life together will show later what happens. In online relations it is necessary to develop the trust and respect between each other. Love comes later.
    while all this can be true, what is the driving force behind a man seeking a woman 20-30+ years younger?
    NOT deep philosophical or intellectual values i suppose...just sight of a pretty thing.

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