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Thread: Age difference

  1. #11
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    Nov 2005
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    328

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    Elenag,
    I think that marrying a woman who is 18 years older than me is something really I prefer not to happen. I don't want a woman in her late 40's.... I think it is something very strange but I did not comment on that coz it is not my business....

  2. #12
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    Sep 2005
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    423

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    thank you for your opinion, Detective.
    however I am more interested in Mr. Ham's opinion.

  3. #13
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    Sep 2005
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    thank you for your opinion, Detective.
    however I am more interested in Mr. Ham's opinion.

  4. #14
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    Jul 2005
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    82

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    28 and 33 isnt too bad.....48 and 53 is pushing it

  5. #15
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    Jul 2005
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    82

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    28 and 33 isnt too bad.....48 and 53 is pushing it

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    692

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    quote:Originally posted by elenag

    quote:Originally posted by lonelyboy.
    My aunt is 18 years older than her husband. They have been married for 35 years and will never separate.
    That's nice.
    Mr. Ham, what is your opinion on this age gap marriage? Is her husband a gold digger or a mentally disturbed individual? What valid reasons would he have to marry a lady his senior by 18 years? And how soon shall we expect the husband (i am guessing he is the "meat" in this case) to get tired of his aging wife and leave? And let's don't forget the diapers question...
    hmmm
    let's put it this way.
    i have a relative who lives abroad.
    his mother never was a good mother (always travelling for fun or some charity involvement ); she neglected her family; there were heavy family feuds.
    To this add immigration problems (they were italians who emigrated abroad very young and were discriminated ) with ripercussions onto her children (both children refused to learn italian...what a joke ).
    Ok.
    That man is now 39 or 40.
    For at least eight or nine years he has been in a relationship with a woman the same age of my mother, EG 25 years older.
    If we look back in HIS life, we see a very poor bond with his father (they tried to kill each other several times ).
    At age 16 or whatever he attempted suicide because a girl had dumped him.
    His mother -puzzled & offended- sought professional advice but every psychotherapist in town told her HE is simply after a second mom, the motherly presence he never had in his life...plus the burden of his other inadequacies.
    I have seen his "girlfriend" once and she looks like the motherly figure (characher-wise) he supposedly needs.

    Elenag, you can act pissed as much as you want, but the truth remains.
    I tend to prefer (although everyone would do) more mature women (NOT that kind of "more" however ) because they (tend to be on average) more stable than teeners or young girls...of whom i've grown tired mainly because of unsuccessful experiences i had.
    So between two women with similar looks and in (reasonably) good shape, but one is 18 and the next is 30, i'd opt for the 30; 30+ is even better; 35-40 better again. No, 50 is not the same.

    Thinking that individuals act out of fictitious spiritual or philosophical values as the DRIVING exclusive force is silly...psychology plays a big role, although we won't admit it to ourselves first.

    for example, getting married to bail out of one's country as the preminent reason is an example.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    692

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    quote:Originally posted by elenag

    quote:Originally posted by lonelyboy.
    My aunt is 18 years older than her husband. They have been married for 35 years and will never separate.
    That's nice.
    Mr. Ham, what is your opinion on this age gap marriage? Is her husband a gold digger or a mentally disturbed individual? What valid reasons would he have to marry a lady his senior by 18 years? And how soon shall we expect the husband (i am guessing he is the "meat" in this case) to get tired of his aging wife and leave? And let's don't forget the diapers question...
    hmmm
    let's put it this way.
    i have a relative who lives abroad.
    his mother never was a good mother (always travelling for fun or some charity involvement ); she neglected her family; there were heavy family feuds.
    To this add immigration problems (they were italians who emigrated abroad very young and were discriminated ) with ripercussions onto her children (both children refused to learn italian...what a joke ).
    Ok.
    That man is now 39 or 40.
    For at least eight or nine years he has been in a relationship with a woman the same age of my mother, EG 25 years older.
    If we look back in HIS life, we see a very poor bond with his father (they tried to kill each other several times ).
    At age 16 or whatever he attempted suicide because a girl had dumped him.
    His mother -puzzled & offended- sought professional advice but every psychotherapist in town told her HE is simply after a second mom, the motherly presence he never had in his life...plus the burden of his other inadequacies.
    I have seen his "girlfriend" once and she looks like the motherly figure (characher-wise) he supposedly needs.

    Elenag, you can act pissed as much as you want, but the truth remains.
    I tend to prefer (although everyone would do) more mature women (NOT that kind of "more" however ) because they (tend to be on average) more stable than teeners or young girls...of whom i've grown tired mainly because of unsuccessful experiences i had.
    So between two women with similar looks and in (reasonably) good shape, but one is 18 and the next is 30, i'd opt for the 30; 30+ is even better; 35-40 better again. No, 50 is not the same.

    Thinking that individuals act out of fictitious spiritual or philosophical values as the DRIVING exclusive force is silly...psychology plays a big role, although we won't admit it to ourselves first.

    for example, getting married to bail out of one's country as the preminent reason is an example.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    14

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    We are all the sum of our experiences. These experiences vary greatly from person to person and from men to women. I had a relationship with 30+ lady who had never been married, no children, stable upbringing, but she was incredibly immature. I have also had relationships with ladies who were 10+ years younger than me, one of which acted like a woman in her 50's. So I don't think there is a definitive answer. As long as each partner brings the things to the relationship that the other is looking for then what does it matter how old they are (within reason). I think the perceived problem is formed by others looking in on the relationship not by the two people involved.

    As for the future, who knows. Things that we fear are rarely as bad as we imagine.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    14

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    We are all the sum of our experiences. These experiences vary greatly from person to person and from men to women. I had a relationship with 30+ lady who had never been married, no children, stable upbringing, but she was incredibly immature. I have also had relationships with ladies who were 10+ years younger than me, one of which acted like a woman in her 50's. So I don't think there is a definitive answer. As long as each partner brings the things to the relationship that the other is looking for then what does it matter how old they are (within reason). I think the perceived problem is formed by others looking in on the relationship not by the two people involved.

    As for the future, who knows. Things that we fear are rarely as bad as we imagine.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    9

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    I agree with Chedz. It all depends on the people involved. I also have dated women younger and older. It is up to you as a person to answer in your own mind. If your mate is much older then it is up to you to think of the consequences and resulting difficulties. Your partner also should realize the differences and obvious difficulties. If for the two people involved it all works. Go for it!! What is gold to one person is poison to another. There is no right or wrong answer. Most debate is driven more by outside people than the two people involved people involved!! If you find a true relation that is sincere and works both ways who gives a rats butt what anyone else thinks!!!

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