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  1. #31

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    [8D]On my footnote to this subject, Elena back in 89 I had only 3 months to marry her on a Fiance Visa or she would be deported from Oz but I really do think 3 months of living with a person is not enough time to decide to marry them..thankgod today, the Australian fiance visa laws have changed and an Australian fiance visa is valid for 9 months now so you have considerably longer in which to make a decision that could wreck your life but in 9 months you can learn far more about a person and no one can pretend to be something they are not over that time without slipping up unless they are among the worlds best con artists!
    If I had a longer lead time on the fiance visa in which to decide to marry rather than the 3 months I had, I think I might not have married her..our personalities were not really that compatable and she had a way of really getting under my skin and irritating me beyond belief and there were times I wanted to hit her for her stupid, arrogant and insensitive behaviour but I never did as I have good self control and anger management and I was raised as a christian and taught it was wrong to hit woman and I have never hit one and never will.
    Fools rush in where angels fear to tread so as to speak.
    Maybe I was a fool..I don't know but I do understand loneliness can make men make irrational and unwise decisions that they will pay for the rest of there lives so I am one of many male idiots out there who have screwed up there lives through hasty relationships and marriages!
    I would like to just pass the benefit of my experience to unseasoned men in the forum and make them realise the price for screwing up with girls and marriage is way too high and the crap and fallout from it..no joke!
    Good day to you, Elena!
    ps: I saw your interview on cbs news back in April 05 when they did a story on Russian scammers and investigations and you featured in it in streaming video internet feed as a crusader against scammers and I have been to your site Russian detective. [8D]

  2. #32

    Default

    [8D]My advice to anyone thinking about marrying a Russian bride from the internet is to go over to her country for the personal visit and spend 3 months with her and maximise time with her and get to know her..get your own translator..be discreet and ask questions of her neigbours..find out about the girl..get to know her and then if it looks good after 3 months then file the fiance visa paperwork and when she lands in your country live with her up to the last minute of the 3 months (in US visa expiry period for a fiance visa or 9 [8D]months in Australia) and then if okay, marry her and apply to change her status.
    You can't go over to Russia for one week, meet a girl in person and decide in that time to do a fiance visa..its ridiculous as you do not know each other and you can find out about a person on there home turf ( in there own country ) how they naturally behave over a much more extended period of time.

  3. #33

    Default

    [8D]My advice to anyone thinking about marrying a Russian bride from the internet is to go over to her country for the personal visit and spend 3 months with her and maximise time with her and get to know her..get your own translator..be discreet and ask questions of her neigbours..find out about the girl..get to know her and then if it looks good after 3 months then file the fiance visa paperwork and when she lands in your country live with her up to the last minute of the 3 months (in US visa expiry period for a fiance visa or 9 [8D]months in Australia) and then if okay, marry her and apply to change her status.
    You can't go over to Russia for one week, meet a girl in person and decide in that time to do a fiance visa..its ridiculous as you do not know each other and you can find out about a person on there home turf ( in there own country ) how they naturally behave over a much more extended period of time.

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    Aussie,

    I tend to agree with most what you said (about immigration laws). 90 days to decide to get married is very inconvenient given that a wedding is not something that can be arranged for the next day. Guests, reception, chapel, bride's parents need to get visas and arrive (if possible)... I think in reality the couple has 2-4 weeks at the most to decide yes or no, because then they got to start making arrangements. I myself found it ridiculous that someone could be expected to make such important decision in a few weeks. I think 6 to 12 months would be a much more reasonable tiem. It may decrease a number of couple actually getting married but increase the number of couple who stay married. But I think INS has its own considerations, such as they don't want the girl to be able to use this fincee visa as a work visa or something.

    However, from my personal experience, even if they did increase the duration of the visa, there are some hopeless cases out there... I once was working for a guy who married the girl on the third day of his arrival in Russia (yes, the third day after they met ever face to face, and they had about 3 months correspondence prior). We spent about 2 months collecting material for his divorce hearings. Then another guy here was making wedding arrangements even before his lady arrived to the US. They had the wedding set and ready to go on the 3rd week of her arrival here, with all catering and reception and flowers all done and paid for before she ever stepped on the plane. When I asked him wouldn't it be wise to spend some time with the girl for a few weeks before making the final decision he didn't know what I was talking about. He was annoyed at me asking.

    I, on the other hand, always had a feeling that this entire thing is way too rushed. We discussed it with my then future husband and agreed that we need to test things out before we do anything. We came up with a plan to go to Europe together for about 3 weeks. We thought it would be a fairly stressful situation when we would either bond together or hate each other by the end of the trip. Neither he nor I ever been in Europe before and we had is sort of "backpack" type of travel when we had a rental car and a bunch of maps. We had a few hotel arranged in the key destination points, but that?s it. We spend almost 2 weeks in Russia, first about 8 days at the hotel in Moscow, then several days with my family, then we went on to the trip (unfortunately Germany and France refused my application for Shengen visa since we didn't have enough hotel arrangements or something like that), so we ended us spending the entire vacation in the UK traveling there from coast to coast in a rental car. Believe me, things got stressful a few times and we got mad at each other a few times as well, but in the end we had a very happy trip on the overall, and felt that we got a better insights on what our strong and weak sides are. So I think it helped us alot. Yet when my K1 visa was granted I came over here with a clear statement to my then future husband that we will have to spend time togethe (as much as the time restrictions will allow) before I would be ready to make a decision (he seemed to be ready to go with the wedding). Even after 2 months I still felt that we have a lot to be learned about each other and that another 2-3 months would not hurt, but it was either that or spending another 8 months apart waiting for another visa (and another bunch of money on the flights and stuff). So on the last 3 weeks of my time here we went ahead with the wedding. Unfortunately, because we waited for so long my parents weren?t able to arrive in time for the wedding which was the worst disappointment for me.

    So to me it is hard to understand people who marry on the third day of their first meeting, or do not really take their "test time" seriously. The amazing part to me is that some of those people has been married and divorced already! You would imagine that they would be the first ones to know how to be careful!

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    Aussie,

    I tend to agree with most what you said (about immigration laws). 90 days to decide to get married is very inconvenient given that a wedding is not something that can be arranged for the next day. Guests, reception, chapel, bride's parents need to get visas and arrive (if possible)... I think in reality the couple has 2-4 weeks at the most to decide yes or no, because then they got to start making arrangements. I myself found it ridiculous that someone could be expected to make such important decision in a few weeks. I think 6 to 12 months would be a much more reasonable tiem. It may decrease a number of couple actually getting married but increase the number of couple who stay married. But I think INS has its own considerations, such as they don't want the girl to be able to use this fincee visa as a work visa or something.

    However, from my personal experience, even if they did increase the duration of the visa, there are some hopeless cases out there... I once was working for a guy who married the girl on the third day of his arrival in Russia (yes, the third day after they met ever face to face, and they had about 3 months correspondence prior). We spent about 2 months collecting material for his divorce hearings. Then another guy here was making wedding arrangements even before his lady arrived to the US. They had the wedding set and ready to go on the 3rd week of her arrival here, with all catering and reception and flowers all done and paid for before she ever stepped on the plane. When I asked him wouldn't it be wise to spend some time with the girl for a few weeks before making the final decision he didn't know what I was talking about. He was annoyed at me asking.

    I, on the other hand, always had a feeling that this entire thing is way too rushed. We discussed it with my then future husband and agreed that we need to test things out before we do anything. We came up with a plan to go to Europe together for about 3 weeks. We thought it would be a fairly stressful situation when we would either bond together or hate each other by the end of the trip. Neither he nor I ever been in Europe before and we had is sort of "backpack" type of travel when we had a rental car and a bunch of maps. We had a few hotel arranged in the key destination points, but that?s it. We spend almost 2 weeks in Russia, first about 8 days at the hotel in Moscow, then several days with my family, then we went on to the trip (unfortunately Germany and France refused my application for Shengen visa since we didn't have enough hotel arrangements or something like that), so we ended us spending the entire vacation in the UK traveling there from coast to coast in a rental car. Believe me, things got stressful a few times and we got mad at each other a few times as well, but in the end we had a very happy trip on the overall, and felt that we got a better insights on what our strong and weak sides are. So I think it helped us alot. Yet when my K1 visa was granted I came over here with a clear statement to my then future husband that we will have to spend time togethe (as much as the time restrictions will allow) before I would be ready to make a decision (he seemed to be ready to go with the wedding). Even after 2 months I still felt that we have a lot to be learned about each other and that another 2-3 months would not hurt, but it was either that or spending another 8 months apart waiting for another visa (and another bunch of money on the flights and stuff). So on the last 3 weeks of my time here we went ahead with the wedding. Unfortunately, because we waited for so long my parents weren?t able to arrive in time for the wedding which was the worst disappointment for me.

    So to me it is hard to understand people who marry on the third day of their first meeting, or do not really take their "test time" seriously. The amazing part to me is that some of those people has been married and divorced already! You would imagine that they would be the first ones to know how to be careful!

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    "it" being?...

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    "it" being?...

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    328

    Default

    Elena,
    sorry, I deleted the comment!

  9. #39
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    328

    Default

    Elena,
    sorry, I deleted the comment!

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    423

    Default

    ok.

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