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  1. #11


    Addressing the story of American Winston and Belarussiuan Svetlana, married in Florida.

    The youngish female felt affection for him in her letters, but was not attracted to him when they met in person.

    This can happen. Nobody is to blame.

    I don't think she could simply have feigned affection for 8 months. If she felt nothing for this fellow, then the first beau to arrive in Estonia (where she was attending college) would have stolen her feigned affections from him.

    Once she was in the USA, this fellow could easily see from her behaviour that there was no intimate relationship. (Minimal communication? Months to consummate?)

    So... why did he continue with her?

    Only when she was directed by immigration to leave the USA, only then was she anxious to marry him. So... she really did want to leave Belarus, and he provided her the means to do so.

    She saved most of her nastiness until after the wedding, thus deliberately navigating the marriage into oblivion.

    She simply wanted to come live in the West.
    He realised this early, but continued to fantasise.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2007


    i'd like to share my story...

    i accidentally wound up on some international website 4 yrs ago and scrolled through some pictures...and i saw this picture, and read this bio, and i knew right then this was someone very special, like no other.

    she was 23, and in russia, and had a child less than a year old. (i was 40, divorced, unemployed)...i subscribed to the site just so i could write her and wish her luck, totally assuming i'm too old, etc, for her to ever be interested in me.

    we did keep in contact thru email, writing maybe every other month or so, (she never asked for anything, and i didn't know at the time, but was secretly wishing i would perhaps visit) i was surprised to hear that she was coming to the U.S. on a visa, to work as a nanny for a family, but 1000 miles from me, and we stayed in contact until finally she wanted to call me, and was asking me to visit her, after being here a year...

    i was shy, and concerned about the age difference, but finally i gave in and went, just being myself, no plans, not impressing her at all.
    it was very awesome just being around her, and we spent the weekend just talking. nothing else. i went home, angry with myself, sent her a couple of hyper emails, and then months went by with no communication.

    i was convinced i would never hear from her again, but was content even if i had to wait 10,000 lifetimes to be with her again. i finally wrote her, and we started communicating again, and she came to see me...i later learned that she had made many friends, most wealthy, (compared to me), and some even proposed to her, but she was not interested.

    we spent time together, and decided to marry, and to move her to this "one-horse" town, totally opposite of the metropolis she had become accustomed to...

    that was almost a year ago...and i can say we are closer than ever. she loves to cook for me, she is always ready to make love, she is a great mother, just a dream come true. even better.

    she comes from a good family, and they are very close, talking very often. her (our) son loves me as his father, and we are very close.

    i wanted to share my story so it may help others see the difference.
    if you are truly interested in dating someone from russia, find someone already here in the U.S. that doesn't need you to necessarily stay here, or at least bring them here, and has already adapted to this way of life. there are thousands of them here, literally, looking for an older, sincere, mature man...just go to yahoo personals and set the language preference to "russian" and "must have", search any big city, including the d.c. area.

    the other option would be to go to russia, and there you will find many women in their 30's and 40's, divorced or never married, and most or all of these would make a very fine and devoted wife.

    good luck to all of you, may you find your soulmate.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2005


    something doesn't make sense here...
    what about her son?
    did she venture abroad alone?
    if she did bring her son along, which family would hire a nanny with her own child, given that host families must support dependants?

    quote:and was asking me to visit her, after being here a year...

    it was very awesome just being around her, and we spent the weekend just talking. nothing else. i went home, angry with myself, sent her a couple of hyper emails, and then months went by with no communication.

    we spent time together, and decided to marry, and to move her to this "one-horse" town, totally opposite of the metropolis she had become accustomed to...

    that was almost a year ago...and i can say we are closer than ever. she loves to cook for me, she is always ready to make love,, she is a great mother, just a dream come true. even better.
    sounds like a fantasy to me...

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2007



    you made me smile, and reminded me how special this is...

    she did come over the first time without her son, because she was cautious and concerned about what she would find here, but luckily the family she cooked, cleaned, and cared for was very very nice.

    they had a son a year younger, and 6 months after being here, she took a leave of absence, returned home, luckily got another visa, and brought her son back 6 weeks later to the same job!

    i was ignorant to the whole visa process with regards to russians having difficulty to come here, so i never gave it a thought that she might not return.

    i should mention that i have a daughter from a previous marriage, who lives with me most of the time, and that is the reason i was never in a hurry to visit, or to have another serious relationship, or any relationship for that matter.

    she could have stayed at that job for another year, but she wanted her son to have a good father, and to get on with her future.

    her profile was plastered all over many websites for years, and many contacted her, yet no real connection was made for whatever reason,
    so you have to look at it from the woman's perspective too.

    nearly everyone told me, do not marry! that i would regret it, that she would be an "actress", and just pretend...but of course no one really knows us, and i know this feeling between us is very special.

    10-15 years ago, you could chat and make friends on irc, icq, whatever...and meet people without any worry...i suggest not wasting any time trying to find that special someone on the internet...
    you don't buy a rolex on ebay, and you don't find a russian babe on a website, without running a very high risk of being scammed.

    it has been 16 days, 1 hr and 49 minutes since i've seen my soulmate, she is visiting her family for the first time in 2 years. she cried for 3 days, missing me. we talk several times a day, often for 2 and a half hours at a time. we had no idea we would miss each other so much. we had been together night and day for the past 7 months and never tired of each other. we will be together again in 79 hours, 21 minutes.

    can you feel the passion?

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2005


    quote: she did come over the first time without her son, because she was cautious and concerned about what she would find here, but luckily the family she cooked, cleaned, and cared for was very very nice.

    they had a son a year younger, and 6 months after being here, she took a leave of absence, returned home, luckily got another visa, and brought her son back 6 weeks later to the same job!
    wow...must be the 0,00000000000000000000000000000001% to be able to do that, since AU PAIR/NANNY services don't take single mothers; the job pays poorly and one cannot likely support a relative on it and host families wouldn't want any part in it, but hey...must be the 0,00000000000000000000000000000001%, right?

    quote: can you feel the passion?
    I read lines on a PC screen where you say you were 40s, divorced and unemployed and found a 23yo cutie (albeit single mother) who is happy & willing to be an housewife in the middle of nowhere, always ready to make love etc.
    That defies my private experience & what i learnt about FSUWs and women in general.
    FOR YOUR OWN SAKE i hope that this isn't another "third million in my bank account" internet fantasy...and i wish you good luck.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2007


    Contrary to my personal and collective experience as well ham. As you said, "I wish you luck."

    I have been amazed at the number of men willing to think that the rules that apply to everyone else do not apply to them. Then when they go down in flames they say, "So THAT'S what they were talking about."

    So maybe there's a beautiful Russian MOB living in the middle of nowhere with a man old enough to be her dad, happily putting out on demand and delighted to take care of his kids, even though he's unemployed and has plenty of time on his hands, and who shed rivers of tears at the thought of leaving him long enough to visit her family back home that she had not seen in two years. Then again, there's a bridge in Arizona you might be interested in buying...

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2007


    Ok, let's review some differences here.

    She was already in this country(USA),
    with a good job (yes, a good paying job),
    with her son, and good friends around her,
    with her papers (Visa, I-94) intact for another 2 years.

    Our friendship/relationship developed for nearly 3 years
    before deciding to marry. She wanted her own family,
    and the time was right. (We plan on having another child soon)

    I did not travel to Russia to meet her,
    nor did I send her any money.
    There was never a misleading intention (scam),
    not then, not now.

    Of course she'd like to live in a bigger city, with better
    job opportunities for both of us.
    Of course she misses her family, and hopes to see them again soon.

    Yes, I did first see her profile on a website (don't remember which one, but it was only eastern europeans), and she is the only person I've written to from a website.

    I did have much experience meeting people on chat, and travelling to meet them, some experiences good, some not so great, but always an adventure.

    I firmly believe that any unraveling of this relationship will be my doing, not some sinister plan that she has kept on the back burner for 2 years.

    Don't worry, I will keep you posted.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2007


    Is she Orthodox by any chance? Observant? That's the only explanation I can think of. Hey, and congratulations by the way. Hope it proves to be every thing you are convinced it already is...

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Aug 2007


    There are two possible ignorant statements...that it doesn't exist or that every Russian woman online is a scammer. It very well DOES exist but it also doesn't encompass all of the population of Russian women. You shoud not have to be a babushka to be believable.

    You talk too long. We are not saying every Russian woman is a scammer. But the men should be careful.....just as I am of anyone outside my country. Hell...let's make that anyone outside my 5 mile radius!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2007



    I was interested in dating with russian women after I received a mail from one. She was very beautiful and, of course, I wanted to know if she was honestly looking for a sincere relationship. I investigate her mail address and name and quicly I found out she was not honest and I learned about the so called scammers. But while I was looking for information about this girl I was enchanted by the russian girls I found in those dating sites. Many were very atractive and with a good education and culture level. I was then atracted by the idea of finding an honest russian girl.
    I chose a site that looked fine and well organized, not free but not so expensive. The girls featured there are not beauty queens but you can find some very atractive (and too many of them also ugly), just as in real life.

    I started to write to the women I liked and made an archive folder for each one that responded and wrote to me. I also made a data base of the information of each one including the IP (internet provider address) of their mails to identify the electronic source. This way I found double identities of some of them, writing to me at the same time.
    I may say we men dare to dream with beauty queens but in our real life we know we will get a girl in our own possibilities. I am a 42 y.o. man with no problem to get a relationship with an atractive 20 to 25 y.o. girl in my own city but, curiosly, I was looking for a woman in her 30's, as I am tired of spending time educating young girls. But even so, I will not look for a beauty queen. Instead of that, I was looking for someone similar of what I am able to find in my country by my self.

    So, I chose women looking normally in their pictures, not as models. I put my interest in women with refined features, the good balance in high and weight, similar interests as me, good level of education and culture and in an aparently good bone structure (according to the pictures, of course).

    Many women wrote to me, in fact they still keep on writing, and I may say I can count about 2,000 aprox from the begining to date. I only chose to mantain contact with those who never asked for money or gifts; only with those who I could talk by phone and those who I can be in contact by a chat messenger everyday; and those who showed real life situations (not so dramatic or unusual stories); and those who were not afraid of giving her personal data as postal address, home or job phones, etc. In short, I chose only those who could do as normal people does in real life. Anyone that could not do so, was discarted. Finally, I chose the ones I liked the most.

    So now, after almost a year of searching, I have contact with three beautiful women. Their life seems to be normal. They have steady jobs, a daily routine schedule, I talk with them by messenger almost every day and by phone when I have the chance; I have many pictures of them and even videos. Two of them are divorced with children and one never married. Their ages are 34, 30 and 26. I personally met one of them in a commun country and spend a wonderful time with her (in fact I think I could marry her). We had sex and talked for hours and enjoyed the time very much, just as a fairy tale (no more, no less).

    Now, I am planning to know one another of them this month, and the other at the end of the year.

    I know it may sound not so good for doing this, but I am really looking for a strong relationship that can work in real life. And, in real life, we do know some women before making a decision for one of them.
    I am doing just so, getting to know them before taking a decision.

    I really dont know if they are in contact with other men from any dating site or in real life. There is no way to know that, as we live in opposite parts of this world, in very different countries with different traditions, horary, ways of thinking, etc. I just believe what they tell me, trusting for the way they treat me and their attentions to me, their behaive and all the things we consider important in a so called "real life" relationship.

    The woman I met was really more beautiful than in her pictures and being with her was more enjoyable than just talking by messenger or phone. I think meeting the other two girls will be this good, but if it isn't it will not be a problem. We men must to realize that these are real relationships and, as it happens in real life, we must to try some until we find the right woman. May be the one and only will come after meeting some of them.

    My advices:

    1.- Dont look for a girl that goes beyond your posibilities. Dont choose a beauty queen unless you are an Adonis. Even so, look for a normally atractive girl. Chose someone that is in your "own league". A beauty queen requires you to be more skeptical.

    2.- Dating sites are just points of encounter and you can find all kind of people there. No one is safe of scammers. If someone offers you a gold watch for few bucks, Would you believe it? It is you who allows the scammers to scam you. Choose wisely.

    3.- Never send money and don't respond positively to the ones asking for gifts. No matter what the story is, a girl who is looking for a sincere relationship will always be careful to mantain the good ways. Be sure to tell the girls that you will not send any money.

    4.- If you buy plane thickets, do it by internet in electronic thickets, that only can be used by the real person and you can change anytime. If you are making most of the expenses as plane thickets and hotel acomodation, etc., the girl will understand that she will make some expenses too. A good girl will not ask for money, she will find the way to get it with out asking you.

    5.- Even the russian women will not choose weird guys. If you are a nice guy with a good behaivor and a normal life, you will have more oportunities with good ladies. If you are a bad party in your own country, you will surely be a bad one in a foregner country and no normal girl will look for you.

    6.- Don't be afraid of knowing some other girls, even when there is one that you like the most. May be you will even think you love some one. But just remember you are only about to know them, and the reality can be different of what we wish to happen. Beware of showing your self desperated. Take your time to choose wisely. Don't marry anyone before actually doing it so.

    7.- Have confidence in your self. Show your self how you really are. Don't give false expectations. Women are very intuitive and they will perceive when something is not so accurated to reality. They are really smart, just don't subestimate them. If you talk about your reality and someone doesn't like it, may be she is not the one.

    8.- Preserve the dignity. If somebody is really interested in you, she will treat you fine and nicely. Even if she is a beauty queen, nobody has the right to treat you badly. And, in the opposite, a girl with dignity will stay with you if you treat her fine.

    9.- Follow your insticts, but not just the lower ones. If something is not clear to you or it seems suspicious, dont be afraid to ask directly. If the doubt persist even so, your inner voice will make sound the alarm. Be reasonable and remember: a good girl will not be afraid to show her self to you.

    10.- Dont worry, When you find the one your heart will tell you with no doubts. A girl who is sincerely interested in you will give you all the signs and you will recognize them. She will do everything to make the relationship works as long as you are able to do it in the same way.

    For last, remember these are only advices and they may work only for some people. Try to learn from your own experiences and be alert for the good and bad things that happen. All of them will tell you how your relationship is really going on. Open your eyes to reality, no matter how big is your wish to find a partner. Be optimistic, but not a fool.


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