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  1. #891
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    Sep 2007
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    623

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    quote:to each one's own.
    my opinion is that however seductive and apparently making sense, this argument does not hold.
    So with so many millions people, and a given % of "nice" people, therefore it is only a matter of chance.
    Yes and no.
    In the lotery, it is a random drawing of numbers as compared to the ones a person has chosen. In FSU/MOB dating , it is a matter of two people looking for each other. I think this changes the odds, just a bit, among the millions. The random numbers aren't looking for you.
    quote:"Thank you for your letter! I undersand that it is important, but some topics I don't want to talk about some topics. Just don't like to talk about it!"
    brundos, what you elaborate on now, only goes back to what I said about some subjects maybe being not something the girl feels uncomfortable discussing with you. Tell the whole story, not just the part you think makes you look good. I always try to see both sides of everything. You first made it seem as the girl was not answering your questions, now it seems you were simply prying further than she wished to share at this point in your relations.
    quote:Now about the scam part.
    Do you see any reason for the girl not to tell me some stories about her ex-boyfriend if this was a scam?
    If it was a scam she would answer and probably just come up with a story, would not refuse to talk about it and risk losing the precious 150 USD every 2 months. :P
    Then, a paragragh or two later, you switch back! Which is it????

    First you said you told her you could not visit her because of some financial crap, but now you say something different. Get your story straight! Especially before logging in here. I'm no fool and neither are the other guys here.

    quote:I am now very curious to see how the girl will react now that I put her in reality check! This should be fun.
    Do you simply write to this girl for fun? Is it a game to you? What if this girl is actually one of the few "honest FSU/MOB's" out there???

    Your statements swing so far left and then back just as far to the right that it's impossible to figure out where you're coming from.
    quote:I should know better than expect a 23 year old girl to be mature enough for me. I personally prefer older women even! I'm 29 and I like women between 26-33, I doubt any younger will have what it takes!
    Shame on me!
    This statement brings up another issue for me. If this girl wasn't what you are looking for, why did you spend $75 for a month of correspondence with her in the first place? At this point, you sound like just another "player".

    Granted, I am currently planning to visit a girl a bit younger than my targeted age group, and I'm hoping for the best, but I didn't "play" with this girl as you apparently did with the one you're talking about.

    Maybe Estonia is a good place for you? I feel bad for the girls there. Have fun "fishing".[V]
    quote:I see a problem in that unwillingness to face problems might seem cool or "enigmatic" at first, but may very well signal deep emotional flaws (EG unwillingness to adjust or to face problems ), which will very likely come back to haunt the couple later with dreadful effects.
    Possibly if the girl never chooses to discuss these things with you it may show signs of a deeper problem, but women can be a bit secretive by nature. Who here will disagree with that??? In the context as was finally revealed, perhaps this girl simply wasn't ready to share such thing?

    Sure, she may be a scammer, but after reading more of the "story" I start to wonder a bit???

    Train returns

  2. #892
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    692

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    quote:Possibly if the girl never chooses to discuss these things with you it may show signs of a deeper problem, but women can be a bit secretive by nature. Who here will disagree with that??? In the context as was finally revealed, perhaps this girl simply wasn't ready to share such thing?
    this is the problem with WWW/LD things...
    she might be another nutcase with weird psychology...OR just a person fed up with internet romeos trying to profile her.

  3. #893

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    Smoks dont get me wrong, I was not playing around with her. I just thought if this goes nowhere at least it was fun. I am not doing it for fun obviously. And yes 75 USD per month is not a big deal compared to 1500 USD for a trip to Ukraine! I can't afford the trip but I can afford the 75 USD per month obviously! LOL

    As you say maybe she is not prepared to share some things, if that is true then she is not the girl I am looking for. We have been corresponding for 4 months and a trivial issue like telling something about 1 of her last relations should not be a big issue that she won't share. I did talk to other girls in the paste and they had no problem talking about it.
    If she was really open and interested in a relation with me she would have no problem talking. Anyway as I said, I am looking for a woman that is naturally open not one that only opens up after you hit her in the head lots of times.

    Maybe for you it is acceptable to have a secretive partner and use excuse that she's a woman. For me it is not acceptable, being open is not optional and having secrets is pure non-sense, we're not secret agents to have secrets from each other. At least I think the story of her last relation is not a secret! lol

    My idea about her is that she just wants fairy tales and nothing real. When I confront her with something more serious she either avoids it or disposes it quickly and abruptly. So I think it is possible her emotional balance is far from well. Again, I don't want a women who does that. No big deal, I'm not saying she is a bad person, just saying she is not a person for me.

    I don't know what your experience with women is but I do not feel sorry for them. I was a very nice guy for many years, tried to please women and all I got back was being used, ignored or mistreated. So most of them are just not worth it even if it looks like they are. Many times I thought a woman was decent just to find out she was as selfish as the others.
    There are exceptions of course and those are what I am looking for.

    I think I picked UA as the idea sounded good, I don't want to use a lot of my time to go out with women as I want to be dedicated to my work and personal goals. Targetted online dating seemed like a good start but I had always plan B, it is best to just go up to women I find interesting and talk to them. The answer you get quickly determines the kind of woman she is. If she assumes straight away you're "another" guy without even talking to you, then she's either unable to distinguish a nice guy from a less nice or full of preconcept. I mean if I meet a girl like my ex-girl, she would talk to me normally even if I was a stranger. She'd try to quickly figure out what kind of person I am to start with then decide if its worth to continue the conversation.

    I think its something like that famous "click", you just feel it when it happens. My best friend we also "clicked" in some way, we loved to talk to each other and we barely knew each other at the time! Then she invited me out for dinner and a movie!! Yeah.. she!! :P
    We had long conversations for like 3 hours and got really close fast. Unfortunately she only sees me as friend and I also am not so sure I could ever make her happy, she's the only woman I know that I am still unable to figure out completely and we've known each other for over 2 years now. For me this is unthinkable, the other women I figure out in matter of days or weeks and here I find one who I can't figure out in 2 years!

    I do treat women well when I meet them unfortunately they just show to be either arrogant or not worth my time. I've gone out with all kinds of women, ugly, beautiful, smart, dumb, average, fat, thin...
    Well over 100 in the last few years...

    Considering the world has billions of people and millions of women who are within the age range for me, getting to know only 100 or even 1000 is really not a lot. Maybe the kind of woman I'm looking for is 1 in 200 which makes it really hard to find. :P

    To achieve this objective I had to develop ways to quickly figure women out. Not just for me but also for them so they won't like me too much which doesn't really happen anyway, they have a lot of guys chasing them, if I show too much interest I'll be one in the list only. To rise in the ranks I'd have to do a lot to "prove" her I'm worth something. Thats what I think its the problem nowadays, they don't choose men for who they are but for what they do to please them.

    Then when things go wrong (again) .. they complain and blame all man kind! LOL

    Its like picking an employee.. you picked him so why are you complaining that he sucks? Seems like you just don't know how to pick them!

    I hire my staff by evaluating first personality and then skills. Before I picked by skills and that didn't go very well, some guys were just cash hungry so their ethics were flawed. Now I pick people who have the right attitude and it really pays off to hear my staff saying "You don't have to pay me now, you can pay next week, I'm ok with money at the moment."

    This is just like women, you can find one that lets you pay for everything and says nothing or one that does not let you pay for everything and at least wants to contribute something even if it isn't much because she cant afford more.

    As they say it is worth more a penny from a poor than 1 million from a billionaire.

    How do you figure this out in online dating?

  4. #894
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    623

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    brundos, the more you take the time to elaborate on your statements, the less you sound like a total butt-head. Some of what you said makes sense, but I still think you're going about your search with only one eye open.
    quote:Maybe for you it is acceptable to have a secretive partner and use excuse that she's a woman. For me it is not acceptable, being open is not optional and having secrets is pure non-sense, we're not secret agents to have secrets from each other. At least I think the story of her last relation is not a secret! lol
    If you can find a girl who will tell you EVERYTHING about all of her past relationships, good luck!!! Unlike ham, I believe that woman are from another planet, or possibly even the devil's spawn. They tend to have their "little" secrets, and usually, such things aren't necessarily a sign of a character flaw, depending on what the secret is. Being that it's a secret, you are left to wonder.

    You also said the girl wouldn't talk about "one" of her past relations, which leads me to think that she talked about others? Perhaps this "one" is a painful memory? It was months before I would talk about my cousin's suicide, even with the girl I had been living with for 3 or 4 years at the time. It may even have been closer to a year before I would talk about it with her, and as I said, we lived together.

    Again, it's hard to say if the girl you're writing to is real or a scam, but let's suppose she's real. Maybe this guy beat her? Raped her? Or died tragically? All subjects that she may not feel completely comfortable discussing with a guy she only knows for a few months via translated e-mails and a few photos?

    quote:I think its something like that famous "click", you just feel it when it happens. My best friend we also "clicked" in some way, we loved to talk to each other and we barely knew each other at the time! Then she invited me out for dinner and a movie!! Yeah.. she!! :P
    We had long conversations for like 3 hours and got really close fast. Unfortunately she only sees me as friend and I also am not so sure I could ever make her happy, she's the only woman I know that I am still unable to figure out completely and we've known each other for over 2 years now. For me this is unthinkable, the other women I figure out in matter of days or weeks and here I find one who I can't figure out in 2 years!
    This kind of makes my point for me. You seem obessed with "figuring out" women, yet here is a woman you can't figure out and she has been your best friend for two years! Honestly, if you think you can figure out women, you're either disillussioned or gay.

    The inner workings of a woman's mind is a dark twisted catacomb filled with pitfalls and ellaborate death traps specifically designed to cause insanity in men should we be so foolish as to enter.[:0]


    Train returns

  5. #895

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    Well I think you just made my point. Why would someone need to be gay to understand women?
    Just because you or most man don't, it means nothing.

    About my UA girl, she did not talk about any paste relations.
    I didn't ask about any specific relation just about her ex so I can have an idea of what has been going on in her life.
    Again, I don't see why would there be secrets if you really want to share your life with someone. Sounds quite ilogical. I know a lot of couples who do not have secrets, it is strange for me why would someone subject himself to that.
    I have a friend who was rapped actually, I met her online about 5 years ago and wanted to suicide. It took a lot of patching to get her working well again... She also had another problem of being unfaithful to her boyfriends.. I mean not the normal thing.. she just let herself go with guys that she has a very intimate relation and feels guilty during or after. Had to show her what was going on so she could understand it and fix it. Now she's quite happy.

    My best friend is a nice girl but has issues which is why I never decided to go ahead and really try to start something. We did kiss about a year ago and lets say she was quite happy about it (me too). :P
    But yeah, I would not trust her to be my girlfriend. I know this because when she had her boyfriend she hanged out with me a lot and she did not tell him many things that she told me. I think the guy had no clue on what she was doing when she wasn't with him. Even I know she doesn't tell me some thing even though she shares the deepest things with me which she doesn't with anyone else but I know what she is not sharing and why. What I can't figure out in her is what makes her happy. I know what satisfies, what pleases, what she likes but not what really makes her happy. I mean not for a moment but prolongued happiness.
    Thats the only thing I can't figure out in her! To really understand a person I need to understand what makes the person tick.

    BTW Smoks, I have already helped couples solve their common issues like married couples finding the spark again, etc. So I'm not just talk, people look up to me like if I was some kind of oracle. Girls/guys would ask me to observe them for 5 minutes with their loved one so I could tell them what I see. I was able to tell they had an argument in the night before and what was it about, what they feel, etc. That by looking at them together for 5 minutes. Now imagine what I can do in 1 week!
    And no, its no mind reading or anything alike. I can look at people and read their body language very accurately. It happens at my subsconcious level, doesn't take much effort but to verbalize what I sense requires a lot of focus. Which is why it is so easy for me to meet people... if you could see what people are feeling at almost any moment of the conversation, it is easy to lead to the right feeling. This also makes me a very good sales, extremely persuasive.

    Resuming, if you think you cant understand a woman, tell me what you can't understand and I'll be glad to explain.

    I hope I was able to take some mistery out of the way UA and the girls work. A lot of natural behaviours from the girls were being confused with scamming so I thought it would be useful if I would explain those and show the point of view of the girls.

    If you think your girl is a scam, post here the story, I'll tell you what I think.

    About your girl, Smoks, from your short description about the correspondence, it sounds like you have something real.

  6. #896
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    381

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    "He specialized in giving good advices to people, who were happier than he was himself"

    (Cit: Tom Lehrer)

  7. #897
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    692

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    quote: So I'm not just talk, people look up to me like if I was some kind of oracle. Girls/guys would ask me to observe them for 5 minutes with their loved one so I could tell them what I see. I was able to tell they had an argument in the night before and what was it about, what they feel, etc. That by looking at them together for 5 minutes. Now imagine what I can do in 1 week!
    And no, its no mind reading or anything alike. I can look at people and read their body language very accurately. It happens at my subsconcious level, doesn't take much effort but to verbalize what I sense requires a lot of focus. Which is why it is so easy for me to meet people... if you could see what people are feeling at almost any moment of the conversation, it is easy to lead to the right feeling. This also makes me a very good sales, extremely persuasive.
    If I had a fraction of the ability you (claim you) have, I would not feel any need to wander the MOB route, or need WWW/LD romance.
    Ah...did you meet women online claiming they had been raped, too?
    [)][:0]
    To me they are bad news.
    I met a few and while I ignore whether or not they were actually abused, I tend to believe those were people with a frail ego and weird psychology trying to come up with some mythical story about themselves, much like real life sociopaths do: "society made me do it", "blame it onto the racists", whatever.
    quote:I believe that about two women in three that you meet on the internet will exhibit a serious personal problem that you need to consider. For about one in three, the problem will be so serious, that you will NOT want that woman in your life.
    amen.

  8. #898
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    623

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    quote:BTW Smoks, I have already helped couples solve their common issues like married couples finding the spark again, etc. So I'm not just talk, people look up to me like if I was some kind of oracle.
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So, now you're a psychic marriage counselor!!!![8] Yet, despite possessing this most wonderous ability, you still can't find the right girl for you?????[)]

    Do you also have a red cape and blue tights?[8D]

    By the way, it is truly the fool who believes that he is capable of knowing that which no other man could ever possibly hope to know and understand. As in "understanding" woman. The more you may think you know, the more delusional you actually are. Trying taking up quantum physics and starting off with the third year class. I think you might have a better chance of figureing that out!!!!

    quote:Resuming, if you think you cant understand a woman, tell me what you can't understand and I'll be glad to explain.
    I can't resist...

    1) Why do some women choose not to tell a stranger that they only know from translated e-mails everything about their past relationships?
    2) Why do some women openly express their own opinions when they know that real men what them to do what they are told?
    3) Why do some women think it's okay to say no or ignore a question, no matter how much a man may keep prying?
    4) Why do some women search to find a man who isn't judgmental of everything they say or do, or have have said or done in the past even before they met?
    5) Why do some woman not wish to be analyzed and have every flaw they have, no matter how insignificant, brought on trial by a perspective mate?

    These are a few of the things I just don't understand about women. Maybe you can shed some light on it for me, oh mighty oracle!

    Train returns

  9. #899
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    14

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    Brunods,
    I just want to add some of my own conclusions about #3867.
    I have corresponded with her for 9 months and twice tried to arrange trips.I have cancelled my current trip and will lose about $1400 in non refundable air fares (two people) and more in agency fees.

    The reason i do this is because i cannot justify throwing good money after bad.This girl is immature,spoilt and unrealistic.She has no consideration for a guy with work commitments who has to book a flight, arrange holidays etc to see her.Like you i do not believe she is a scammer-despite what the more cynical on here might say.Frankly i am shrewd enough to suss people quickly and if i have been scammed she is very very good indeed.

    I just think she is immature,spoilt and a dreamer.Quite possibly she is looking for something online that is "safe and secure" and makes up for a lack or disappointment elsewhere in her private life.

    I also sense a complete sense of insecurity- ref the large number of photos (you have seen them too) despite me asking her to wear some more clothes!!She just didnt listen.

    I also found at times an unwillingness to answer certain questions.She never mentioned my birthday or exams in her letters.It was always about her.

    Nice girl but seriously flawed and i have had enough so she has lost me for sure.

    redprince

  10. #900
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    Sep 2007
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    623

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    quote:I have cancelled my current trip and will lose about $1400 in non refundable air fares
    GO ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you've paid for everything already, and you apparently have scheduled your vacation from work, why not go? If you're a member of UA, why not visit the local agency?

    Others in the forum have gone to meet the lady they were writing to and were disappointed. They paid $50, I believe, and were introduced to a different girl and seemed to be fairly happy with the results. Who knows, maybe that was the way the big picture was planned out for you?

    As for #3867, I took a look. Cute girl. She lists her "occupation" as student. It hasn't been said, but how many years of school does she have left? This situation may go back to what I had read about "don't waste your time writing to a Ukrainian girl who is still in school, unless you are willing to wait for her to graduate".
    quote:I just think she is immature,spoilt and a dreamer.Quite possibly she is looking for something online that is "safe and secure" and makes up for a lack or disappointment elsewhere in her private life.
    Spoiled, possibly. Dreamer, aren't we all to some extent? Immature, I think this may be the issue.
    quote:I also sense a complete sense of insecurity- ref the large number of photos (you have seen them too) despite me asking her to wear some more clothes!!She just didnt listen.
    Two possible reasons for that:
    1) Those are the only photos she has and although you send money to UA for correspondence, she doesn't see any of it, and can't "waste" money on having new photos taken right now?
    2) She really is a scam front and is nothing more than what photos the agency has on file?

    Anyway, redprince, I personally think you should go anyway. I just booked my flight to Ukraine, and even if something happens that my girl becomes a no-show, I'll be disappointed, but I'm planning to enjoy my trip just the same.

    Train returns

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