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Thread: please help

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Default please help

    Ok, i'm at my wits end on this, and i really need some experienced advice, so pls if anyone can help me i would appreciate something that would reveal the truth of this: I contacted this woman that i saw on MYForeignBride, she replied. Her profile said Donesk, I believe, but she immediately told me that she was attending her 5th year at the UNiversity in Lugansk, and will soon graduate. We've corresponded for lil over 3 mos. She has asked for money, ie 300 USD, after about 25 emails, for rent. Told her no. We kept email though, and then she told me that she had to move as couldn't afford that flat. Her email then changed as did the header address. All letters have been genuine no paste jobs. We've now started, yahoo chatting frequently. Many good signs, but red flags also. Won't give me address yet, have asked twice, said nothing is safe in mail to her anyway. Says she uses internet cafe..1st one was 4/139 Frunze St. Lugansk...2nd is Mirniy 14/80 are these addresses cafe's? Can I do a reverse email check in Ukraine, don't think so. Just need help here, will give you all info i can to help this along, lots of time invested here.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Oh, yes, i've spent countless hours in the last months looking at known photos of scammers, ican't match them with any of these pic i have, but might just be a new face that hasn't been exposed yet. She's a hhhmmmm 7 of 1-10.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    692

    Default

    According to great numbers ( and conpeople do play many men at once ), these scammers (and anyone asking strangers for money over the internet is a scammer) can easily make a living ( 2004 UA salary was $103 a month ) feeding fantasies to lovesick western men.
    Barney won't send money, but Wong will send $50, Pedro $300 and Leroy $500...
    The fact s-he ( you have no proof it's not Igor yanking your chain ) gave you the address of a cafe (or not ) doesn't matter...i can give you an embassy address i googled minutes ago, but i'm no ambassador.

    The fact you latch onto this fantasy of yours shows that you are chasing a dream.
    What hints do you need?
    Her mother squashed by a truck, thus in need of a new spine?
    Her daddy is queer and needs a sex change in Brazil?
    Reality check needed.

  4. #4
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    Mar 2007
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    HHmmmm, it's all so simple now. Thanks Ham. Really though, I was hoping for something a lil more concrete. I guess I'll just go with a phone call for now, and make it the lands's end question if she won't give me a # to call her. I can understand your philosophy, if (they ask for money = scammer) but is someone that you've had 50 "real" emails with, and chatted with for 10 hours over a couple a weeks a stranger. Maybe??? If I needed a reality check I don't think I would be investigating the truth; I realize that this could still be Yuri, or her trying to scam me, we've talked about that too. When were you scammed, it must have hurt.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    692

    Default

    feel free to chase your illusion.

    quote: but is someone that you've had 50 "real" emails with, and chatted with for 10 hours over a couple a weeks a stranger. Maybe???
    you are really easy to please, so go ahead.
    I found fraud even after 100 emails or 100 chat sessions.
    you feel free to feel as if you're blood relatives.
    Since you're so convinced, just go ahead & find out.

    quote:I was hoping for something a lil more concrete.
    hop on plane to find out: that is being the most concrete. What do you expect, Igor's blood smears test posting on an internet forum?
    If searching the net gives no hints, what could people do?

    quote:When were you scammed, it must have hurt.
    I gave LD/WWW dating up MANY YEARS ago.
    Scams?
    Monetary just one: i wasted a few 100's on a FSUW i knew was real because i had her investigated & met personally, but that didn't help.
    My fault: i was in bad psychological shape in 1999 and wanted to chase a dream.
    Many have it worse: the last one i heard of sent UK?20.000.
    Theorical?
    Countless.
    I wouldn't bet a dime on [u]any WWW/LD "relationship".
    As someone told me ages ago, it's full of jokers and vultures and disturbed individuals online.
    If one has reasons to seek online a shoulder to cry upon, love, friendship or else, WWW it's the worst place.

    Then what, you perhaps see her (they/him/It) listed as a scammer, confront her and ger back a disgruntled answer saying you're a bitter man without trust and that her case has been reported by a lusty, angry man "only because" she wouldn't have anal sex with him...satisfied?

    But as i said, go ahead and prove me wrong, living the dream in my face.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Default

    Ham, i want to thank you for your insight, i have sat back and thought about the "realities' of this. I see your from Italy, i'm half Sicilian and think that you'll understand that i don't plan on playing the victim here. I am going to cont. contact just to expose her/him with as much info as possible so no one else (hopefully) will take it deep with those particular pics. If I happen to "win the lotto" ha. I'll try to let you know that too. Maybe I'll have to give Sergey a lesson in Family Values. I'm sorry one of them got a piece of you, or anyone else. It's for me to believe how many scammers listed on this site and others still have profiles on "premiere dating agency's" WTF. Does anyone else have anything to add? Thanks again. Jupiter

  7. #7
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    Sep 2005
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    When i was scammed, i had the foresight to investigate her carefully ( which most won't do anyways ), but in the end i was a stupid person doing a stupid thing...and i got rewarded accordingly. I'm not making excuses.

  8. #8

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    Jupiter,

    The only way I have had any luck was with a woman who contacted me through Skype. I didn't know if she was real but just kept it friends until it started to blossom into other things. The fact that she contacted me was totally in my favor. I helped her with her English her goals and we shared pictures and so on. On the third call we stayed up talking for 6 hours deep into the night when her sun was coming up. it was very real. She gave me her address immediately when I asked her. She also gave me her home and cell phone number to which we texted each other hundreds of times over 6 mouths. She paid and booked a ticket to come here with her own money and sent me the itinerary whioch I checked out and it was real. I helped her built a siet on abe and sell some of her beauty products. I spoke to her 10 year old child on the phone and saw pictures and videos of her as well. We did the video cam thing all the time. She sent me hand written love letters and pictures of her from vacation. I knew they were her because I saw her on the cam. I spoke to her friends and so on. She NEVER asked me for a dime and I know she could have used my help. her last tax bill from the state in Italy was 19,000...OUCH! But she wouldn't tale a dime. We had specific plans where and when we would get married. When I asked her to tell me a story she had told me before (like when her divorce final and what date) the facts always matched and never changed. I have a VERY keen memory and full of common sense. I would have made an excelent detective.

    Unfortunately is ended after 6 months but thats another whole story that has nothing to do with if she was weak or not. Bottom line is a wise many told me once how to run my life with one simple phrase..."when in doubt...DON'T!"

    I'm not saying this isn't the real deal you have but you're the one who said you saw red flags as well. Even though she may not have any money there are clearly ways for her to step up to the plate and let you know she is real. After you have explained to her that there are many sites explaining all the scams from her country, you would like to be assured that she is real. Put her in a position to prove herself or move on. If she sees or feels true value in your re;relationship..she will step up to the plate. These women are betting on your weakness to want them so badly that you will alway give her the benifit of the doubt. If all the men out there had a shred of self esteem, they wouldn't fall for 95% of this crap.

    One of the best ways is to get pictures and then a cam session to verify. Most internet cafes will have cams. Then you can take it to the next level but getting her snail mail and send her something small like even a card. (remember she hasn't been willing to do this so what does that tell you...RED FLAG) tell her you love getting mail too and wait for her to send you something. I'm sure she can afford a stamp. My Italian girl alway sent me stuff in the mail and we talked 2 to 3 hours per day on Skype. We knew where each other was and what they were doing throughout the day.

    its easy to see when a pattern is broken but you first have to establish the pattern, My girl put all her eggs in my basket so I knew where she was all the time. We texted each other many time during our waking hours.

    The last girl I wrote to on UA sent back a half assed response and didn't answer one of my many questions. the reason is because the agency answered the letter and couldn't answer the questions because they were very specific. They tried to play it kool and be personal but there were many gaping holes in their response. This i was able to (for $7.00) flush out the riff raff. I have been on that site since June 1 of last year and just finally decided it may be legit after all this research. But all it took was one answer and I saw many red flags. Even though they do pass some of the letters to the girls, they don't pass all of them. I was going to call it quits but I'm going to have some fun and am making a plan on how to trip them up without them even knowing it. I don't have all the pieces in place but my detective mind is hard at work. After I expose them I will ask for all my money back or I with threaten then with my story on this site and others. This will allow me to converse with the woman I want for free if she ever gets an e-mail from me and have a chance at really meeting her.

    What I haven't figured our yet is if she even had anything to do with the first letter. What makes me think she did was the way it was written and had a different tone than the reply letter. She is very young (23) and I am 50 even though I say I an 45 because I do look very young and feel 40. Either way....what do we have in common and why would "she" write someone she thinks is 45 who could be her father. In fact, I have a daughter 2 years older than her.

    But, I'm open and don't care about age as long as there is love. I am a true romantic but also love younger woman and not ashamed or going to ever apologize for it. Its the way God wired me and I will never change because I don't want to. if a woman closer to my age took care of herself and was toned, healthy and concerned about her mind and body...I would gladly jump at the chance. BUT...as you know, we are a 66% obese nation and its only getting worse.

    Okay, I'm staring to write a book here and get off track.

    Anyway, much success with whatever choice you make!

    Warmly

    Steven

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    692

    Default

    quote:But, I'm open and don't care about age as long as there is love. I am a true romantic but also love younger woman and not ashamed or going to ever apologize for it. Its the way God wired me and I will never change because I don't want to. if a woman closer to my age took care of herself and was toned, healthy and concerned about her mind and body...I would gladly jump at the chance. BUT...as you know, we are a 66% obese nation and its only getting worse.
    always exercise great caution with the age gap thing.
    If i said there aren't pretty young things around here, i'd be lying flat out.
    If i said i don't like pretty young things, i'd be lying even more: every man does.
    The only slight problem is that pretty young things around where i live wouldn't give me the time of the day if my life depended on it.
    If i'm not in bed with pretty young things every friday, why would this change abroad?
    It is easy to get manipulated and live a fantasy...it may turn out pretty expensive in the end with a divorce attorney as a therapist and a load of bills to foot, EG her school bills.

  10. #10

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    Ham,

    Good points. If she's going to be with you, then you will have to trade something of value (i.e. money, home, security). If you think she's just going to love you because thats her nature...that thought will get you into trouble.

    Steven

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