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Thread: mentality

  1. #1
    katrine Guest

    Default mentality

    The reason is in the mentalities!
    Ukrainian- russian girls are used to be economical, cause if they are happening to earn a little bit more then life minimum payments
    in these soviet countries, sure they`ll spend it on helping their parents, who can not afford good enough medicines, buying a new furniture since the 1991..... Of course if a man wants to meet thr lady from Ukraine or Russia he must pay for her trip! And must suggest it first! Yes, lot of scammers and everything.... then buy her a ticket and make a foreign Passport for her personally! If she is a scammer- she`ll not agree for a ticket...
    and the most important- ALL THE GIRLS NEED THE MONEY! Both good and bad girls, in every country!!!! So, A MAN shopuld behave the way, she`d LOVE HIM! if you are really WORTH of a LADY< and even if she pays attention on your money first/// help her to get free from her complexes, left from some poor periods of her life!!!!If she`ll love you- then she`ll not need your money!!!!

    Believe me, people here have very big souls... they are really kind and gentle! Moreover girls are too proud of themselves to jump on every foreigner-man who has lot of money! To have really long term relationship with a girl- win her love....

  2. #2

    Default

    Hello Katrine.
    People in your homeland have very big souls? Well, at least you have a very big soul, Katrine, because you are generous with your advice on this forum.

    Can I please have your opinion about something? (I also welcome anyone else?s opinion.)

    It has been a while now, but I still have sad memories of a Ukrainian girl who simply stopped writing to me. And I still wonder why.

    Now, I wonder whether she decided that I did not have a 'very big soul', as you say your people have.

    In the six months that I knew her, I sent her modest gifts of perfume, and later a stuffed toy and a rose. And she sent me a small gift by air mail. (To Australia! This would have been costly!) She moved home 3 times. She has a job, but she found herself short of money, just before her birthday. She asked me for assistance. I expressed my reluctance, but I wrote that I wanted to send her an early birthday present. And I did - just $150 Australian (510 gv.) Not long afterwards, her father passed away, but she was still very interested in me.

    Now, here?s where I think I might have ruined it?

    The third apartment she moved to had no telephone. And, although she did not ask me directly, she wrote that she desperately needed a cell phone. Katrine, I ignored her back-handed cry for help. I wrote nothing about this to her, nor did I arrange a cell phone for her. Three weeks after she had written about the cell phone, she stopped writing. Her very last words, in her very last letter, were 'I LOVE YOU'. Then nothing. I wrote to her, three times by email and once by air mail, asking her what had happened. No reply. Nothing.

    Was I a mean-spirited man? Should I have addressed her need for a mobile phone? I was only being cautious, because we had not met yet. (But we were planning to meet within a month.) Could she have decided that I was not generous?

  3. #3

    Default

    Seajay, I have basically the same take on these facts as Aussieman40 with a few side comments and a slightly different interpretation. Ladies frequently are asking for gifts of cell phones but, here's the catch, after you meet them. If they ask for one before you meet them, tell them either you'll buy one in your own country and deliver it to them personally or you'll buy one in their country for them. The latter is usually the more practical option as Russian keyboards are naturally standard in the countries of the ex-USSR. If you have already met the girl and you are at least half-way serious, it can even be a justified investment if it makes it easier to stay in touch. Often land lines in old apartment blocks are faulty and maybe you want the convenience of contacting her directly.

    The fact that she cut off correspondence with you within a month of your intended visit is indicative that she neither had an intention to be serious with you and nor has an intention to be serious with any foreign man. Perhaps she had some feelings for you (she did send you a gift as you pointed out) and was just letting you down easy -- this way you wouldn't waste your money on a fruitless trip. Another kind of scammer would have encouraged your visit and scammed you of gifts and cash while you were visiting. In this case, I think the "I love you" was a candy-coated kiss off.

    That is not to say that I don't agree with Aussieman40's contention: in the course of initial correspondence, even after the initial meetings, Russian girls do not profess love; instead, they say something like "I kiss you" or "I strongly embrace you," the latter only if they have met you at least once and the meeting went well.

    However, I do slightly disagree on one aspect of Aussieman40's comments. In my experience, some sincere Russian ladies are prouder than others -- some are in fact not-so-proud (granted a minority). Still, there is no justification for sending money before meeting -- ever -- in my book, unless it is to facilitate an imminent meeting e.g. girl needs to take a plane or train to meet you in Kiev, Minsk or Moscow. What if you actually met in person 2 times or more? Then I think, even with some putatively sincere girls, you'll find some pride ebbing in the face of pending budget constraints. There is a tradition of gift-giving but that comes as a consequence of a face-to-face meeting especially when you are invited (and actually go)to the girl's home. Russian girls do not like to be begrudged of an item they feel, given the level of the relationship, they have a right to have -- cheapness is a big turn off for them. If, on the other hand, they ask for something that they know is a bit over the top (or not appropriate given the circumstances) and you turn them down (in a nice way at least) they won't hold it against you -- unless they are scammers.

    Richard

  4. #4

    Default

    Gentlemen, thank you for your comments.
    Katrine, it would be nice to read yours also. What do you say?

    I am heartened that neither of you westerners believe that I behaved untoward. I think that I was generous with my attention and with my gifts. And I courted her like a gentleman. Sooner or later, I would have bought her that cellphone. But internet dating protocol dictates that we should meet first.

    And I think that my former cyber-sweetheart, if she had a huge soul, would have understood and excused my behaviour. And even if she was truly offended, her huge soul would not have ignored my pleadings for an explanation. So that I would not still be confused and tormented.

    Katrine, this is how we savages of the decadent West think. I hope you can tell me whether this would have been a turn-off to a genuine woman of your country.

    And, as you all have probably guessed from my entries elsewhere in this forum, I have certainly moved on. I found a beautiful Trans-Dniestrian girl.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    2

    Default

    Hi, guys!!!! Thanks for your replies... but you fully changed the topic! the topic was called:
    "The difference in the mentalities" (Slavic one differs from all the others)
    but you wrote so much about scam tricks and so on...
    sure it is important for you, cause there were your personal stories... but look, We all are tired of scammers! me even more!!!!!!!!
    (can you imagine a simple but proud of herself girl, who just want the same as lots of decent men from abroad... but she is from Donbass region. this region is famous As a SCAM one! Sure everyone will make a bad first opinion about a girl whho lives- where scammers live!)It hurts me cause I know what I am, people who know me- respect me as a personality. They know that I have not pretty face and body only but a lovely mind, kindness and respect to others.

    you say " a scammer will never say "I love you" in her letters, but why DO SO MANY MEN DO???????? How should we call them? scammers? who scam girl`s mind and soul? who scam girls for sex?)) cause Russian proverb says " A woman loves by her ears....." So, let`s men play tricks with the girls who will believe you! no, I don`t support girls who want the money from the men only, but I wonder, why are there so many noise about "broken purses of scammed men", but no noise about "broken hearts of the- same- scammed girls"?

    Regards

    Katya
    PS: write me on my e-mail if you want
    katrine1@mail.ru

  6. #6

    Default

    Hello again, Katrine.

    Yes, that is what I hope you can tell me about. Slavic Mentality.

    Did her Slavic Mentality cause her to reject me? Was I supposed to be more generous than I was?

    She did not break my purse. She certainly broke my heart.
    And I want to know - was it Slavic Mentality?

    I accept there are men who scam women for sex. Personally, I do not.

    And I think an Australian sex scammer would not invest in an air fare to Ukraine. There are cheaper ways for them to play out their sleazy, disgusting fixations from here.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    8

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    2

    Default

    I agree that people are good or evil are found in any country.
    Generalizing is maybe a mistake. I too, I tried to find somebody there in Ukraine to live the rest of my life with. I was stupid enough in a critical moment of bifurcation to choose the wrong lady to continue with (thanks to this wonderful site I found in time that she was a scammer) and I left a nice lady, called mesmerisinglady, who most probably isnt a scammer. ..Cause I asked to help her with money and she denied. She also was expecting me in Lugansk to come and visit her. I did not, being attracted by the 'sneaky' other one.
    so, ...you never know.
    If 'mesmerisinglady' reads these lines and is still interested please acccept my apologies and please come back.
    A slighly up to immensely idiot..That I was.
    I think all men we are slightly idiots, in some aspect of the life at least.
    My best regards to all you guys and I wish you nice successwith the really nice and true ladies
    Vasse
    PS-finally a thousands of thanks to you Stop-scammers people. You saved more than once...

    The unsinful has the right to throw the stone first

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    2

    Default

    Hi everybody!
    It's me again, Vasse.
    In greek I m called Vassilis, ...anyway.
    I should tell something which I ve forgotten.
    Our topic is mentality. My opinion is that in the land of the feelings and love the mentality is more or less the same, in any country of the world. The attitudes of males and females arose from their corresponding biological programmes imprinted in the DNA's.
    Of course there is an important point in what Katrine says.
    The economical situation plays always a role. We need not to be marxists to accept this obvious fact. The biological programme, that is for a Lady (regardless whether she is young, russian, brazilian or greek, regrdless of her occupation etc) that she strives to build a regime where she will be the Queen.
    Unfortunately many ladies, especially young ones are becoming betrayed by men in trying to obtain this. Many young ladies see their obvious dreams (also because of socioeconomic reeasons biasing the play)to get in ruins...
    I sympathize very much with those young ladies.
    In this age (-20 up tp 23 y/o)the ladies usually do not scam.
    Here are the results of a small statistics study I did based on the data of 300 scammers reported in the stp scammers site.
    Too young (and also older than 35 ladies) rarely scam.
    Out of 300 cases,in 3/3 i.e. in approximately 200 of the cases the age par excellence of a typical scammer lies between 24 and 29 years!!
    Only 55 out of 300 cases were in the age 24- and 49 in the age 29+
    Probably this wants something to say.
    Use your imagination.
    Have you ever thought my dear male friends that this is the typical age when the Lady is in a mood of revenge?
    Of course if there is a lady scamming. I dont include maffia cases where a guy is back the organized scammer procedure.
    But talking about ladies. My belief is that no lady is in principle bad. The circumstances may convert such to what we call a bad girl.
    Jesus knew that, very well.
    I shall be very glad to get comments.
    Again a nice week end to everybody.
    Vasse

    The unsinful has the right to throw the stone first

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Mentalities... yes, let's not loose focus. I have to say that AmericanRichard and Katrine/Vasse have some very good points. I can only say one thing... the gal I'm very focused on has run short on cash for her 'certificate', has shut off her cell phone, and turned off her profile at her agency. When I told her I would send a little bit so she could get the cell phone back on, she refused, and said:

    [in an e-mail]... that there are many scammers and I will do what it takes to make ends meet. This will just be a difficult time for us to bear and our meeting is most important.... so forth. That was 6 weeks ago.

    She still drops me a line every two or three days. I think I have a good one here. She has two jobs, like most, shares a flat with her girlfriend, and sends photos with the calendar behind her, or some way of showing she is 'real'. She answers all questions, in detail, though her letters are brief, and has never asked for anything of any value. She'll answer questions I asked 2 or 3 weeks ago as well. Of course I'm still on guard too. In 3 months of writing, she has never said anything about loving me, just that she feels good and has a positive attitude that things will be good when we meet. I'm still on guard, and have other ladies lined up.

    So let's talk about mentality. If I can sit in a "KaPHe" in Kharkov and drink a 16oz. Stella for .60cents U.S., order two meals for me (my God the portions are small), and order a meal for her, in an excellent restaurant, a bottle of wine, and 3 or 4 side dishes (small servings) and walk out having spent US $35, not including a $5 tip (waiters earnings for that day), then the girl knows that I can take care of her, and not a tight-ass. But wait, there's more... I need to know this gal as well. Sending a little bit doesn't hurt if you haven't met, it's the risk you take, but you can send $50 (possibly get burnt) and let her know that it's expected that you will be in contact. If you can't afford that, you can't afford that. If you want to chase down your love in the CIS, you better get ready to drop US$10K at a minimum, and a year of your time. If you can't afford that, you need to get out. In another forum somebody wrote about Western men and FSU/CIS women... it's two different cultures and that is the biggest thing you have to deal with. Here's another thing...

    I'm divorced now, and on a few occasions had my family overseas with me, like in Indonesia. On some occasions they had to stay State side. My point is this, remember, you have to support two households (company takes care of me on single status), and maintain a "long distance relationship". Again, there's risk that you may have a leach sucking all the 'green' out of you, but nothing is free, and risk exists even in the strongest marriage. You two have to agree on an allowance, you have to see her every 3 or 4 months and you have to "trust and believe" in what BOTH of you are doing, and be certain that you truly love each other. Period. Bottom line... you have to know and understand each other, and each other's cultures. If two people want it to work, it will work. How much risk are you willing to take and how much are you willing to spend? That's where you're mentality needs to be. Later...

    USA Mike In Saudi

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