Letter(s) from Tatyana Yagodka to Matt (USA)

Letter 1

Hi, dear I am so glad that you have replied. I have absolutely forgotten about the track of time while reading your letter. I can say for sure if I have written or not but I will repeat it once again if you are interested -I live in Russia, not in Saint-Petersburg itself, though very close to it I am 28, 170 centimeters High (it will be 5.7 foots), and I weight 56 kilograms (124 lb) I am single and have no children. I have never been married. It is a problem to find someone with the phone. It is very expensive and luxury so not everyone can afford to have it. So I still can t find the way for us to talk. I am sorry. I don t even think of finding someone abroad it is not the goal of my life. One day I just came in internet cafe in order to find some necessary information and found you. So I thought Why not to try? It could be someone interesting and caring. I think it was a chance for both of us. I wouldn t say that all the guys in Russians are bad. Every nation has its losers and winners. Still, the majority of them are spoilt by the women s attention. Our men don t care about how we really feel. They can be very rude and what irritates me most is that they drink too much of alcohol. I want to find a caring person, loving and interesting man. Though according to my profession I am a teacher, I work as a waitress in order to live and earn some money. Here it is a bit difficult to find work even if you have a diploma. I firstly worked as a teacher in a small local school but my salary was so miserable and small that I couldn t even afford paying my bills. Though still I enjoyed very much my work. I like children because they are the flowers of our life. I think I am good at speaking English. My language was formed in the Institute where I was studying for 5 years. Dear I have one question for you. Why have you preferred internet for finding a woman? It is great to have internet because people from all over the world can get connected it is wonderful! My question is a bit personal, so I you don t want to reply just pretend that you haven t read it and I will understand. You seem to be a good person, open-minded and honest as for me you should have no problems with finding a girlfriend in your own country. I am looking forward to your reply.

Letter 2

Hi, I am sorry that I could not reply you earlier, but it was because I hadn t seen your letter. I was out of town and just it happened to be in the SPAM. Really, I don t know what the reason to set it there was. In fact I hope that my letter will be received by you and not placed in the same folder. Still, I think I will switch off the SPAM filter. I have found your add on the source and I think that you are a really good-looking man, so am in really interested to get acquainted with you. But first of all, I want to describe myself, because probably, you are interested in my personality. You know there are a lot of nick-names online, people tend not to use their personal data :-))) Well, what about me? My name is Marina. I am 28 years old, I am 170 centimeters High (it will be 5.7 foots), and I weight 56 kilograms (124 lb)). I am single, and never had a husband, and I have no children, too. It is a problem to find someone with the phone. It is very expensive and luxury so not everyone can afford to have it. So I still can t find the way for us to talk. I am sorry. I like to be good-looking, I am slim I like sport and I am keen of jogging. It helps mea lot to keep fit. If you remember, I am Russian, I live in the second capital of the country, Saint-Petersburg, Russia, but not in the very site, in its outskirts. Probably, Thanks to my place of living I can do jogging easily, because out of the city the traffic and the life itself are calmer. Still, I happen to travel to the city very often, because I work as a waitress in a restaurant, which is located in Saint-Petersburg. I work every second day there. You know the life in the city? You should be fast, quick-minded and smart to live there. And I have learned this way of life providing that my parents were dead when I was a child. It s not easy to say, but very often I feel alone, because I know that there is no one who cares of me. I don t like to talk about my Mom and Dad, because it still hurts me. Hey say that growing up you should forget of some terrible things, but I simply can t. I was an only child in my family, so I have no brothers or sisters But don t think that I am a looser, it is not true, I love life, I enjoy it in its every way. I know that even a bad situation can have something positive. I appreciate experience. I live a normal complete life. I think I have everything by now No, not everything Still there is one thing I can t reach. I would very much like to have a close friend. Some person that will let me cry on his shoulder, who will let me tell him everything, who will manage to calm me down, someone who will love and to whom I can give my love. I am a very caring person I can devote myself completely to the one I love. For me it is something special to see the person I like smiling and happy. As all in loved people I always tend to see the pros. We are not perfect and to love means to accept the way we are. So I finish my latter here because I am writing you from an internet cafe and my time is over. I have no pc. I will trine you every second day because I will need to be in the city.

Here is some of my pics

P.S. Please, answer me asap that I knew that I am interesting to you.

Letter 3

I am not in a mood today. Just somehow I feel tired and exhausted. You know, actually, I am fed up with my work. I work for 9, sometimes even more hours a day. My job requires me to be calm and patient, you know. Being a waitress you should be polite with clients, smile when they tell you some vulgar joke and be welcoming to those who are in the restaurant for the first time. My salary is about 200 dollars a month which is not as high-high as I would like it to be. I am not afraid of work, but I know that my work should be more paid. To tell the truth, these 200 dollars are good enough just for bills-paying, no money is left, I would like to have a PC, but still, it costs a lot. Just I imagine how it could be if I would have one. Write you every day, one two three letters... I also cannot write you so often because of our stupid rules here one should pay for every received and sent letter. What a shame! We live in such a modern world! I am really sorry for complaining, just you are the only one I can do this. I hope you will understand me. That is some kind of nervous breakdown. Every single letter I get from you makes me feel better, much better. It raises my mood. Please, tell me more about your country. Are there any stupid rules like here? I am interested in every single thing you are connected with. Here in this country I feel unprotected, vulnerable, and poor sometimes. It is like you work and work every day, but earn nothing. It is because of this the people here are unfriendly and rude. It is fantastic to have you in my life. You are so patient and understanding. I want to thank you for everything you have done for me! And thank you for being with me all this time. You are my only friend. I already miss you...

P.S. Can you say me your full name

Mine is Marina Saint-Petersburg, Russia

P.P.S. I am sending you my new pic, what do you think of it?...

Letter 4

Hi, my precious I hope that nothing happened and you are in a good mood. Please, be careful, and take care of yourself. Reply me as soon as you can. I will be waiting for you, I promise. I would very much like to ask you to send me some more photos of yours. Chose those best that you have. I am planning to print them and set them in a framework. Than I will put the framework on my desk and will watch you from time to time. It will make me feel closer to you. Some mornings, when I wake up I just try to figure out if everything is real; I mean if you are real or was it just a dream. These moments I just need something to prove that you exist. So your photo will help me. You are the sun that shines and lets me see the way in a dark and dump world. Have no other words to describe my feelings. I have a smile on my face when I wake up, because my first thought is about you!!! Can I ask you for something? Could you please send me some your best photo, so I could hang it on my wall and every morning before waking up see you again and again? You know, I had an amazing dream last night. We both were on some unknown island; it was beautiful, isolated from all the rest of the world. There were just two of us. You were holding my hands and you were silent. No words were needed. That was great. We were so close to each other. I felt to be the happiest woman in the word because I knew you were so close. It was something special, the feeling, the passion I had and love. Do you dream about me? Can you tell me of them if it is not too private for you? You know, probably, it is too silly to say, but I feel like I could have created a strong family with you. Do you like children? Would you like to have them? I think they should be given birth only after the decision of both father and mother, and then the family will be happy. My husband will always be on the first place for me. If in case he will not want to have children, well than, I will do whatever he says me to do. Take care, my dear, I am waiting fro your reply.

--Marina luchikgirl@gmail.com ----

Letter 5

you know here are very sad and I have a bad mood because I have not a new letters from you... I need in it because I want you understand that it is very difficult to me to be alone without your words, without your letters... But I believe in you that you will write to me some words... It would be pleasant to me and I will be happy... Some problems leave undecided and may be we can decide them together... I dream about you... I miss you...

Letter 6

My sweetheart !!! I would like to start my letter by saying you that I apologize for what I have written you yesterday. I should not have complained. It happened spontaneously Probably that is because you are very close to me and I feel I can open my heart. Here it is difficult to find an understanding person, first of all because he may just laugh at you, or envy you Sorry once again, I promise not to do this anymore. You have your own problems and just it is silly of me to give you mine. Long time ago your letters, your thoughts became a part of my life. You yourself became a part of me. I appreciate your kindness and composure very much. I appreciate your support which you demonstrate in every your letter. You know, I have recently come to one thought it became difficult for me to rely on someone. I have lost the ability of trusting to the people. It is a cruel world, yes it is. I have not an easy life. I should think on my own for my living, and definitely, it makes me stronger. You know, I am not sure I told you, but I was betrayed once by a very close person. It hurted and it still hurts sometimes, but not because I have lost him, just because the closest people hurt more than anything else. My love story it not a complicated one, it is the most wide spread story in the world. I was completely in love but he cheated, found someone else and left me. And I saw that girl, I saw her with him and just could not figure out what was so special in her? What was her goal? What had she that I didnt have? These are the questions that move on in everybodys head when you know you are betrayed. Still I dont want to talk about it. Today is a present day, these things were in my past life. We have letters only to contact with each other, but I still hope that you trust me as I trust you. And I really do. I never thought that it is possible to find someone, to be in love with him, and find him on the Internet. For me it is a device for information, for mailing, nothing more. I am glad that my destiny has given me the chance to know you. You are a great person, good friend, nice and beautiful man. I feel that I can trust you, I know you are honest with me. It is silly because I have never met you in a real life, but I often imagine us holding hands, saying sweet words to each other, staying together. I would very much like to visit you. I would like to see you, I want to know for sure who you are, feel that you are real. If you dont mind I could come to your country, I could visit you. I just believe that we can make it true. Just imagine, all the things I wrote you can be saidin person. It is a serious step, and it can change a lot. Are you ready to know who am I? Life is short to waste time so desperately like we do this. If you are really interested in me, I will come to stay with you for 10-15 days. Still, it depends on you, I dont want persuade anybody. We know each other and we both should feel the same. If you feel that you are not ready for anything serious right now, I will just come to see you, I will still want to be your friend!!! It is our chance, let us not lose it. As for me I fell that it is the time I can be with somebody whom I can devote myself. If you liked the things I said, lets talk about it. Missing you.......

P.S. I can send you some pics of me in bikini, what do you think about it???

--Marina luchikgirl@gmail.com ----

Letter 7

My beloved I don't know what is happening to me. I can't stop thinking of you. I have been thinking of you all night and day long. I couldn't get asleep. I am thinking too much, planning too much. I am like a child waiting for something special, you know that feeling? When you believe that something special will happen, you count minutes, seconds. Too many thoughts in my head drive me crazy. I become mad with happiness. I can't feel the reality anymore and I don't believe this is me. You know it is a strange feeling, I would like to describe it to you, and I would like to know if you feel the same. I become crazy if I don,t see your letter on my e-mail, the thoughts like. Does he abandon me? Did I say something wrong? appear in my mind and I become afraid of losing you. When I don't see you letter on my e-mail I feel terrible, I feel like the time stops, I feel like I am dead. I am sure now that I want top be with you, I don't care what other people think, I don't care if it is against the normal rules of finding your second half. I feel that I want to be with you with every single part of my body. I can't satisfy myself with your letters anymore, I cannot live without seeing your lips, I want to kiss them, want to see your eyes and hold your hands. I want to realize everything I dreamt of with you. Hold your hands like I dreamt about it, look at you, and look in your eyes. I want to live for you, want to be with you in happiness and misery. I want to go asleep with you, embracing you. I want to see you when you wake up, make you breakfast, coffee, honey. Say you good morning, my sweetheart. It is a strange feeling, but I feel that I could have a strong family with you. I don't want to be alone anymore, but feel that there is someone behind me, who can protect me. What does this feeling mean? I think I am in love with you. I am afraid to scare you with what I am writing. It is silly, I am not a girl. I should control myself. Yeah, I should but I can't. You have already figured out that I cannot pretend the things I don't have. Yes I was hurt, but it seems that I haven't lost the ability of loving someone. I want you to know about it, even if at the end you will hurt me, too. I will forgive you, still, because my love is so profound that it will be enough for both of us. Strange-strange feeling, I don't even remember when was the last time it was so strong. Probably, it was the very first time many years ago. If only I could I would take a plane I would spend everything just to appear in your arms, strong and secure... I have figured out that I really can receive a visa to reach you, probably that is the fact that doesn't let me calm down. Now I feel everything can be real. Dear, believe me it is a question of time. Soon we will be together. I will do all the paper work, get the visa, pay for it and take a plane; you will just need to get me at the airport. As far as I figured out it will not be a problem, because I have no relatives in your country and no criminal cases in my life. The only thing that can prevent them from giving me the visa is my salary. Damn. It is not big enough. But I will try, nevertheless. I hope you understand me. It is a risk I have never been to your country, I am afraid a bit. But I know that I want to try our relationship, to prove them, to make them real. Write me something on this account; I need to know your opinion. Love you, love you, love you more than I love my life. Miss you, love you!!!

P.S. I have made you some new pictures, check them up. Are they good enough? Mostly they were done by my girlfriend ----

Letter 8

My sweetheart !!! I would like to start my letter by saying you that I apologize for what I have written you yesterday. I should not have complained. It happened spontaneously Probably that is because you are very close to me and I feel I can open my heart. Here it is difficult to find an understanding person, first of all because he may just laugh at you, or envy you Sorry once again, I promise not to do this anymore. You have your own problems and just it is silly of me to give you mine. Long time ago your letters, your thoughts became a part of my life. You yourself became a part of me. I appreciate your kindness and composure very much. I appreciate your support which you demonstrate in every your letter. You know, I have recently come to one thought it became difficult for me to rely on someone. I have lost the ability of trusting to the people. It is a cruel world, yes it is. I have not an easy life. I should think on my own for my living, and definitely, it makes me stronger. You know, I am not sure I told you, but I was betrayed once by a very close person. It hurted and it still hurts sometimes, but not because I have lost him, just because the closest people hurt more than anything else. My love story it not a complicated one, it is the most wide spread story in the world. I was completely in love but he cheated, found someone else and left me. And I saw that girl, I saw her with him and just could not figure out what was so special in her? What was her goal? What had she that I didnt have? These are the questions that move on in everybodys head when you know you are betrayed. Still I dont want to talk about it. Today is a present day, these things were in my past life. We have letters only to contact with each other, but I still hope that you trust me as I trust you. And I really do. I never thought that it is possible to find someone, to be in love with him, and find him on the Internet. For me it is a device for information, for mailing, nothing more. I am glad that my destiny has given me the chance to know you. You are a great person, good friend, nice and beautiful man. I feel that I can trust you, I know you are honest with me. It is silly because I have never met you in a real life, but I often imagine us holding hands, saying sweet words to each other, staying together. I would very much like to visit you. I would like to see you, I want to know for sure who you are, feel that you are real. If you dont mind I could come to your country, I could visit you. I just believe that we can make it true. Just imagine, all the things I wrote you can be saidin person. It is a serious step, and it can change a lot. Are you ready to know who am I? Life is short to waste time so desperately like we do this. If you are really interested in me, I will come to stay with you for 10-15 days. Still, it depends on you, I dont want persuade anybody. We know each other and we both should feel the same. If you feel that you are not ready for anything serious right now, I will just come to see you, I will still want to be your friend!!! It is our chance, let us not lose it. As for me I fell that it is the time I can be with somebody whom I can devote myself. If you liked the things I said, lets talk about it. Missing you.......

P.S. I can send you some pics of me in bikini, what do you think about it???

--Marina luchikgirl@gmail.com ----

Letter 9

Is that all????? Letters which you could write thats all to me? Or you really have no any desire to write me? Tell to me the truth because I should know why you ignore my letters.