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Letter(s) from Anastasia Rusinova to Raymond (UK)
Hello Raymond! How is your day?
I hope you were really glad to get my e-mail, because i was very happy to get yours.
Thank you very much. Do you want to know how i write you e-mails? During the whole working day i write small parts when nobody works at the computer. I work at a children apartement.
If you want to know more about my job i will tell you. Just ask me.
O! I promise to tell you what music i prefer. Nowi have some free time and will tell you with pleasure about my interests.
I like different music. Everything depends on my mood.
I like classic: Dunaevski and Chajkovsky. I like also instrumental music.
It helps to relax and to have a rest, i like to thik while listening it. I also prefer to listen guitar, masterpieces of Djoh Satriani.
I like Pink Floid, they are wonderful.
It's a great band. I like Madonna, Robby Williams, George Michael and so on.
There are so many musicians in the USA! But i like russian pop-stars too: Filipp Kirkorov, Valeriya and music-bands: Chaif, Splin. But unfortunately you don't know them.
I prefer to watch movies too.
There are not so many good russian films, i like films of Tarkovsky, Konchalovsky, Michalkov- film directors.
My favorite movies are The Siberian barber and Tired with the sun.
Theese are the greatest masterpieces of russian cinematography. Amtrican filma are very popular in my country, i like them to and some americans stars also. Gladiator- courage man, Mel Gibson- goog actor.
My favorite films are The Sixth Sense, Rainman, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Gone with the wind, The Magnificent Seven, The Godfather, Groundhog Day and others.I like Bruce Willis,
Al Pacino,Kevin Costner,Samuel L.Jackson, Djulia Roberts,Oii Hanks, DemiMoore, Kevin Spacey.
What can i add about me? Raymond, I was married one good man, but we don't have children.
I met him when i worked as a dentist in other place. He was one of my patients.
When i married him i stopped working, because my husband wanted woman to take care of the house and he earned money himself.
I was 30 when married him. He worked at the oil-company and often had lots of business trips.
During one of them he had a car accident and died.
About 2 years i didn't want to see anybody near me but later i understood that i don't want to be alone and i need a man who will take care about me. But i don't want to remember it up any more.
I have some friends, but my best friend is Ekaterina. We are friends since we were 17.
She is a real friend and we always help each other. She has a kind heart.
We are ready to give everything for our friendship. I am happy to have such friend because we can found the real friend very rare.
We became friends at colledge then we entered the same university.
I live alone in a flat, where i lived with my husband. There is living room, bathroom and dining room.
It's small but i feel comfortable here.
It's close to my work and it usually takes me only 20 minutes to reach the clinic.
Often when it's not late and the weather is ok i walked to my work. Sometimes i go by bus but i don't like it.
Buses are usually overfilled and it's not comfortable.
Can i ask you, Raymond, some more questions? Do you have a big family?
Is the nationality of the person who plays a big role in your life important for you?
If you dont wish you can not answer. But nationality isn't important for me.
I don't pay attention to theeyes, colour of the skin. And it doesn't matter where the person was born. I want to find a man with a kind heart.
I like kindness and hate anger. The most important things for me are kindness and honesty.
Without theese feelings love and harmony can not exist. Anger destroyes love.
I am ready to give all my love to the man who will also adore me.
Iam sure that the main things in every relationship are to respect and understand each other. Othr things are not so important.Only kindness, honesty and respect.
I am happy to wright you and to get your answer. And now it makes me smile.
Looking forward for your promt reply. Sencirely yours Elena!
ps.I liked your photos! You darling!
Hello! How are you? that at you new? How you have spent the days off?
I will wait from you for the letter! I wish you good day!
Hello Raymond! Today I started to write you the letter in the morning as soon as I have come for work.
I have written some offers and to me patients have come. I have just cured a teeth of the little boy.
That he was not afraid, I have asked his about his dreams.
He has answered that Dreams to become adults because adults do not have problems with a teeth. :-)
It was so amusing. I often recollect the childhood. I always dreamt To become adults as soon as possible.
As each child I believed, that adults in general do not have problems. I liked to dream in the childhood and I love we dream now.
Certainly, the world of dreams the illusory world, but we live actually, therefore to dream it is necessary very seldom :-)
It become always a pity that our dreams not a reality.
The person applies many efforts and aspires to that his the dream has come true, but not all in this life depends on us.
When the dream during long time does not come true, the dream stops to be that star, which was for you a beacon at ocean of a life which shined Your way.
But anyhow, I think, that it is impossible to live without dreams and hopes.
When there is a dream, the life is filled with sense.
Dreams - those things which do us by people, it Distinguishes us from fauna.
Dreams bring a variety in a usual and grey life.
Dreams force to think, to analyze, come to conclusion. Belief and Hope - eternal companions of our life.
Raymond, you agree with me? I am surprised, that I write you all it.
I never had the person with whom I could divide the thoughts. But now I have found you, and I am very glad.
Forgive to me for my frankness. If I have told something superfluous, forgive me please.
Tell, it is pleasant to you when your friends come to your house?
It is pleasant to me very much when my friends come to me.
I like to prepare and for this reason I treat with their various tasty dishes.
Ekaterina too well prepares, and shi often helps me.
We often prepare Various dishes also it is treated each other.
I usually like the Russian dishes - pel'menis, soups, pancakes. But I also love kitchen of the near east.
Raymond, I have told to you, that I have visited Ekaterina in hospital.
I was there approximately two hours and Ekaterina were very happy, that I have spent its birthday together with his.
I have brought Ekaterina a chocolate pie, flowers and balloons.
Balloons were different colours, Ekaterina it is pleasant, when many different colours.
Wash favourite colour - dark blue.
And what colour is pleasant to you? Ekaterina and I spoke about you. I Has told, that you are very good person.
Ekaterina asked to send you regards and has wished good luck In my relations with you.
I will look forward your letter. Elena
Greetings my friend, Raymond!!!! I am very glad, that you have written. Big Thanks.
You have again lifted my mood and have placed a happy smile on My person, having written to me the letter.
By the way Raymond, today I went for work from the absolute Confidence, that you will write to me today.
Earlier I always went with Thought, that you possibly nevertheless have not written, but today for the first time I went with thought, that your letter waits for me.
Ekaterina too the doctor as I and we work in one polyclinic. She the assistant to the dentist.
But Ekaterina I assistant,she helps to other dentist.
Today I will go to his in hospital once again. I hope that soon Ekaterina will be healthy, and we will be happy to meet in ours to polyclinic.
I like to prepare and I love cleanliness, but sometimes I would like to receive simple tenderness, love and attention.
I do not wish to offend all Men. Certainly in Russia there are good men, but it seems to me that them very little.Men often say dirty words (not standard lexicon), when speak with girls and believe, that in it there is nothing badly.My husband concerned good people, but now it did not become.
After death of my husband, approximately in a year I wished again to try to renew relations with the man.
I had a friend. Together we well spent time. He was kind. But he liked to drink.
When he got drunk, he became absolutely other person. He spoke with me with bad and dirty words.
Time has passed and his love to alcohol became a habit. He became other person - rough and malicious.
Sometimes He beat me because of various trifles which did not like it.
And next day he talked to me as though anything bad between us was not.
I have started to be afraid his and I have left from his.
After that I did not get acquainted with other men. Now I do not trust the Russian men.
I am afraid to give my love, but to receive instead roughness.
If you have disagreements from the lady, you can apply roughness?
But I do not wish to finish the letter a bad theme for conversation.
So, Raymond I will tell to you about Ekaterina. Soon she recovers. Ekaterina
Feels well and sends regards to you.
I hope, that will be fast she at home Also will start to work. I feel lonely without his.
While it is not present, it is nobody me will share the feelings. But I am glad that I can will share the feelings with you!
I will look forward to hearing from you!! With a kiss, yours Elena.
Hello, Raymond! How are you? I hope that before you've got my letter your mood was wonderfuland after my email it will become better. May be i am too self-confident. But i'am very happy because i have got your new letter. Yesterday i visited Ekaterina and said hello to her from you. I am sure you are not against it. She also asked me to say "hello" to you. Tomorrow i'll have a very hard day. I haven't told you about it yet. It takes place once in two weeks. Two years ago Ekaterina and i wrote a letter to the Ministry of Publik Health and suggested to create a mobilecar for dentists. that time we were volunteers and helped weak and ill people. As usual theese are old lonely people who can't take care of themselves. They can't even visit the hospital. We suggested to visit such people sometimes in this car and we bring all necessary tools with. This suggestion was adopted and now we visit more then 50 districts of our region. Unfortunatelly tomorrow i will work without Ekaterina. In general we have 5 such cars. We visit small vilages and settlements where live people who can't visit the dentist in our city. There are lot's of such people in our region. Now we help not only adults but also children in children's home. We have lot's of them. but there are no good dentists there. That's why Ekaterina one more doctor and i go there by our mobile dentist car. We made friends with many kids and they like us so much, because we also visit them in our free time and help them in different ways. The goverment doesn't support such houses financially. Buildings are very old. But theese children have noone to help them. Thats why some people help to equip children houses. We help to rebuild rooms. Of course there are some small houses convenient for children but in general the all need to be repaired capitally. Children have few toys. When i see it i'am ready to birst into teers. My friend and i help to do the repairs. We glue the wall papers and paint the windows. Bring new toys. You could't even imagine how happy they are when we come. And they are waiting for us but noy only for the new toys. They need kindness ans caress. Sorry, Raymond, that i wrote too much about the problems of kids and old people. I just don't know if i wright you tomorrow. Hope i'll find free time to do it. Raymond, I must go now. With best wishes Sencerely yours Elena.
Hello my distant but dear friend Raymond. Than'k you so much for your email, it was really long-expected. And i'am very happy to get it. I'am full of emotions that idid't have before i found you. My heart and my mind say me that i have to tell you about all my feelings now because it's a part of our relationship and i must share it with you. I want to add that i've spent the whole day to wright it because i want to explain clear what i think. I don't want to offend you but i was worried that you will understand me not wright. I 'am always speaking from my heart, but sometimes one should choose the words. I feel devastated when i cant use the computer to read your letter. I feel wonderful only when i think about you. I felt it only when my husband was alive. And now i have such feelings again. I have never tried it up in my life (i mean to make friends with a foreighner). I dont know if you have a desire to start making relationship with person from other country but i hope that you want it too. I think that people in couple must be best friends, who trust each other and share with feelings. I am trying to wright so that you'll understand me. I trust in God and i think i must face difficulties before i will meet my beloved man with whom i will stay all my life, valuing, loving him and taking his love, which he could give me. Hope that my words arenor boring for you, but it's more than words-theese are my thoughts and feelings and i'am sending them to you. I'am anxious that you will find the same feelings in your heart and that you are ready to build relationship with me. I want to know you closer. I also want you to share your dreams, hopes and feelings with me. I really want us become closer than simple friends. Please don't call me stupid because i think so. Raymond, when i talk or think about you it doesn't matter what the others think. You are very handsome for me. I mean that you are not only an attractive person but i'am also talking about the beauty of your soul, but unfortunatelly one can meat this type of beautyvery rare. Most men have handsome appearance and bad soul. It's very important for me. Your words show your soul. I am sure you are really beautiful and i can't express all my feelings. I feel that we are becoming closer and i am enjoying our friendship. I'm trying to learn everything about you and i hope you also think that our relationship can be more than simple friendship. Today i have good news. Ekaterina was let go home. She visited me at work. Soon she'll start working. I was happy to know i will see her more often. I told her about mobile car, and she was upset because she couldn't help me. But it was ok. Our car was broken when we were in the village but it will be repaired soon and we continue to help people. Raymond, looking forward for your letter, with tender Elena.
Hello my Raymond.
how are you?
Every your mood i'll try to make better today.
And today i did't go to work i "fly" there.
I came first to the office and i was very happy the whole day.
Everybody who asked me could hear the answer that i'am so happy because everything is wonderful.
I understood but i was afraid to believe it that i have a feeling for you that i never had.
I don't know what's going on with me. I want to understand my heart.
i want to feel your breath. One can call me strange but i fell in love with your soul and heart.
Other things are not important fot me. The material world is not important.
Only the world of calmness and love.
The sun is shining today. Sun brings joy. I'am happy that i have you Raymond, and you have me.
tell me about your thoughts and dreams. I want to know everything about you.
Everything!!! But yesterday my boss tell me that i will have a vacation in two weeks.
But i didn't expect it. I didnt want to spend it at home alone. I 've been waiting it for one year and now i'am not happy.
I donn't want to spend the whole month without you.
All world became dark for me. And i told myself NO It's not for me!
Yesterday evening i thought about us and i couldn't fall asleep.
And i thought what can i do for our meeting. I decided to spend my vacation together with you.
This is the only my desire now.
Today i addressed to the travel agency. I asked how much it will cost me to make the visa.
They tod me it's about 130$ and they won't giveit back even if i don't get my visa.
People from the agency also told me that i have to go to Moscow and then to visit a lot of departments (state and medical) in my own city and in Moscow.
It will takes lot's of time weeks or months because lot's of people want to get the visa and i will have to wait.
And in case i wont get the visa- i will waste my money.
But it is a standart way of getting documents. And i told that i can't wait for so long.
They told me that there is another way to if i will take the full contract that includes extra payments for the cathegory of visa, work with counsel, help with the interview in the ambassy, interview with comission insuaranse and tickets.
According to the contract the agency will prepare all my documents and buy the tickets.
It costs 395$ and the summ of the ticket, but the agency dont have any problems with agency and gives me a garanty that i'll get the visa in short time.
It will take only one week and i told that this variant passed me.
I will be prepared for the interview in the ambassy. It will help me to get the visa.
The prise of the tickets i will learn later.
I don't have money for ticket's but my exhusband had some in the bank and i will take it from his account.
So, money won't be a problem for me:). I made an application for visa and i hope that you will be happy to meet me.
I really want to present you our meating thought i'am not sure that you want it.
Can you imagine that if everything is fine we'll be together in two weeks?
Is it a real present for you? Will you be happy to spend some days with me?
Of course i understand that we know each other not very well yet.
Many years i ask myself why everything depend on money? Money is not the most important thing.
The main thing is harmony between people when they understand each other.
I am anxious to meet you! I have some money and i'll pay for everything myself.
May be you didn't expect that i'll tell this. One can wait for eternity but we don't know what gonna happen tomorrow.
May be we won't have a chance to meet any more.
I opened you my heart and my soul and i am not ashaimed of me feelings.
Loneless made me strong. I found a feeling that i never had. I am happy.
After my husband died i spend a vacation with my mum in my city.
But now i can do it with you, Raymond. I am happy. And i must take this chane.
I was never so confident but i am really sure. Hope that you wont call me insolent.
But i just want to spend some happy days with you.
I don't care about the future and i am not afraid of this.
We cannot talk about future without our meeting.
Hope you feel the same and you will calm me down. my heart.
Will you be happy to meet me? Really happy?
Hope my letter will make you happy With lot's of tender Elena.
I with the big excitement waited your letter. Thanks that you have told all that you think.
Thanks for your letter. You have written to me, and it means that one more day will be lived by me with good mood. I wish to describe to you to write how there passes my day, since morning and till the night. I wake up approximately at 6:30. I rise with good mood because in a dream I saw you :-). At 6:35 I go to a bathroom, And I THINK Of YOU Raymond! I wash, and I clean a teeth. At 6:45 I dress the sports form, I go on street And I THINK Of YOU! I run in the mornings always if temperature not more low-10s, to support itself in the good form. When in the street it is cold, I sleep till 7:00.
At 7:20 I make a breakfast, as a rule it is strong tea or coffee and a sandwich.
I drink tea, and I THINK Of YOU Raymond! At 7:30 I go for work. Usually, if good weather, I go on foot And I THINK Of YOU! I like to go on foot since morning.
For work I come vigorous and cheerful. At 7:55 I go to an office where my girlfriend works.
As a rule it already on work at this time. If there is a possibility, I receive your letter.
If possibility is not present, I receive it later. At 8:00 I start to work, And I THINK Of YOU Raymond! At 12:30 a lunch break. I go home for a dinner And I THINK Of YOU! I go home ia a trolley bus. At 13:00 I have dinner, and at 13:20 I again go for work And I THINK Of YOU! At 13:50 I again work, And I THINK Of YOU! (Though in my work it is impossible to be distracted and to think about something, except work) :-) At 15:30 we with my employees do a small break, and we drink tea. But today I did not drink tea because I THOUGHT Of YOU!
Within the working day when there is a possibility, I answer your letter.
At 17:00 I go home. I go on foot. I feel perfectly because I THINK Of YOU!
At 17:40 I take a shower also I represent that YOU WITH me!
:-) At 18:00 I have supper, one, but I smile, because I represent, that YOU SIT OPPOSITE TO me! At 19:00 I go On walk with my girlfriend (but it seldom happens). We walk in park and I THINK Of YOU!
If I do not go on walk, I listen to music, I read books, I watch TV, I knit, I do various homework, And I THINK Of YOU!
(Certainly not all simultaneously) :-) At 23:00 I go to bed.
Usually I fall asleep very quickly because I THINK Of YOU Raymond!
Today we have gone with Ekaterina to bank to learn all necessary that I could receive money of the husband, me have informed, that I should fill some papers.
Then in bank will consider my statements and if there will be no problems, I can take money which my husband stored in bank. Now I should wait some days and then go to bank.
There is one more important detail. I hope, that my statement for the visa will approve, therefore it is necessary for me to know
The international airport closest to you in which you can meet me. I hope that you write me it!!!!
Only do not think, that all my days pass so. It is an approximate variant.
Every day presents a miscellaneous. But that specific to each my day: THESE ARE my THOUGHTS On YOU!!!
Raymond, I Your and only your Elena.
Thanks for your letter. I am so happy! Thoughts on you warm mine Heart. I very much waited for this possibility to write to you to tell that happens today. Today very important day. I very much worry. Today I have received the invitation to conversation with the commission which solves whether it is possible for the client to give out the visa. It is the most important in process visa receptions. The commission will make the final decision after Conversations - to give me the visa or not. The conversation very difficult, but I was prepared. It is the difficult test. But I am ready. I very much wish to meet you, and my desire will be To help me. Where there is a desire there is a way. Children from shelters to which I already help within several years, together with instructors have written commission letters to my support. It will help me, When the commission will make the decision. I am assured, that all will be as it should be. Thanks for the airport name! I will finish the letter. I send you all tenderness Raymond. In mine THOUGHTS And SHOWER - ONLY YOU! I kiss you 100000 times. Yours Elena.
Hello my dear Raymond Today is a wonderful day only because i'v got your letter!
I don't care about anything else. Today i woke up earlier than usual.
I couldn't sleep any more. It was dark in the street. I looked at the window.
But suddenly a small bird fly to me and began to sing very beautiful.
I looked and thought that you are so far. May be you sleep and see me in your dreams.
If i were a bird i will fly to you and sing. I told the bird to fly to you and to say hello to my close friend Raymond Tell him that i thought about him.
She flied as understood my words. If you will see my...
a bird near you singing a beautiful song remember that i asked her to visit you:))
Raymond I have good news. Today i was at the agency they told that i can come to Moscow because I've got my visa. There is no embassy at Nizhnii Novgorod.
They will prepare my tickets tomorrow. Tomorrow i will learn the details.
everything is going on fine. Destiny helps me to be close by you.
Blue sky, bright sun, stars and your letters make me happy.
I like to read them and they make me smile. Sorry but i must go.
Send you all my kisses. Yours Elena.....
My greetings Raymond! Thanks for your letter. My heart calms down, when I receive your letter.
Sometimes I look out of the window, there, where the sky and the earth Merge in a single whole.
I try to be lost in this prospective world, I feel that you where that there, is absolutely close with me and I see you, I see as you move along the street, I mentally represent as your street looks, though I absolutely have no concept as your street looks.
But I see you Raymond, I see, how you smile, as at cinema in the slowed down image, you move to me and smile, and your image becomes more and more accurate.
You that speak that to me, but I do not hear you. But I read your words on your lips, I understand that that you say my name.
And these your words a plait me from within. Sometimes occurs so I absorb the world of illusions, that I simply stop to distinguish where illusion, and where the validity.
But the next second all interrupts and Again on my eyes the sky becomes grey, there are people who at all do not suspect that occurs in my heart.
It is so unusual to me, And at the same time I feel pleasant sensation inside.
And I am assured that it not casually.
And it not it is important, that waits for me in the closest future, I know that there are you, the kind and good person and as my friend.
And if I see you Raymond if I meet you Raymond, and I can look in your eyes, I can to tell to you everything, that I cannot tell in letters, I will madly the happy.
Now, today, this minute not important where will result me this way.
I know, that it is true road. I live not in the next afternoon, - I live in this afternoon and as today I live a bright and happy life.
I would go to agency for this purpose what to learn cost of my trip to you. The ticket for me will cost 910 dollars.
It in one party and back. As soon as I will pay this money they to me at once all data of my plane (departure time, flight number, and other data) will tell.
I should pay this money in agency.
As soon as I will receive this money, I will go at once to agency and I will buy the ticket!
What as soon as possible to be with you!
I should finish the letter. In relations from the lady you Raymond dominate?
I have in view of - you like to be more the leader and to make all decisions personally or to you it is pleasant to discuss questions from the lady and to make the decision together?
I think, that it is good when problems are solved together. Even if one has a problem from spouses.
I think, that it is good, when spouses speak each other their problems.
Today at me bad news. Since morning I had a good, cheerful mood. But it has very much worsened after I have visited bank. Today I have gone to bank, and to me have told, that I cannot discount money of the husband. I was simply in a shock! I could not think that the such can happens. I have asked why to me Cannot give money, and to me have answered, that my husband had a will about which I did not know. I have gone to the notary and he has confirmed, that my husband has made the will. He to me has allowed to familiarise with it. There it has been written, that he bequeaths all money to my registered husband. That is, whoever was my husband, he can discount money. But I cannot take advantage of money. My husband always said to me, that I should not work, I should keep order in the house. All that is connected money, the husband should earn. It seems to me for this reason he bequeathed all money to my husband. As he was my husband, he could receive money. But now, that I could receive money, I need to marry. And only then, my future husband can discount money. I still had 200 dollars. But where to me to take 710$??? I should pay money to agency. I have been assured, that to a smog to discount money, but it has appeared thaI cannot make it!!! It is very difficult For me to tell to you about it. But I have made everything, that could. I have paid for the visa. I have spent a lot of time and nerves when waited for approval. I did not wish to burden you. I wished to pay for all itself and to arrive to you at own expense, but unfortunately I have failed. Now I should pay other part of the sum to agency. It makes 710$ + 200$. It is very a shame to me to speak about it because I do not know where to me to take such big sum. Now I still had last hope, it you. Please, help me with money for the ticket. I understand, that this difficult decision for you. Certainly, if you do not want, you can not help me. It is bad, but is not deadly. I will lose the money. I cannot arrive to you. IT is bad, BUT TOO is not deadly. I have paid 395$ for that to me have made the visa. These are the big money for me, but MONEY NOT the MAIN THING In the LIFE. I trust you, and I know, that YOU are a PERSON of HONOUR, And YOU are a GENTLEMAN. If you Can help me, write to me about it in the following letter!!! Raymond, please forgive me all my words. I speak so, on that that I in despair. Now, when only one step separates us, I am afraid. I am afraid, that you will not help me, and all my diligence Will be useless. I require you Raymond, and I wish to be with you. I have not calculated the possibilities. But together we are much stronger. We will pass through difficulties and a barrier, it is much easier to make it together. I wish to present you all my infinite love and fidelity. I understand, that it is big Money. I did not wish to ask you money. I thought, that I can make all. The loneliness has made me strong. I lived without support of the man, and could rely only on myself. I ask the help from somebody very seldom, but now I ask, that you have helped me. I have made a step to you towards. Now I wait that you will answer the same. I hope, that I have not offended you Raymond. I require you, and I trust you. I know, that you will not throw me now when we are divided only by one step. I look forward to hearing from you.
Kiss you. Yours Elena.
Darling you do not want to help me??????? I have not understood your letter!
You understand if I terminate the contract with tourist agency, I will lose money which have spent for documents? To me so it is sad (