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Letter(s) from Olga Koshkina to Andrew (UK)
I am sincerely glad to receive your letter. And I am very glad that I have had an opportunity to write you because I want to tell you today so much. Andrew, I always was sincere with you and I want to be sincere now because from the very beginning we built our friendship on the sincerity and openness. It is difficult to write about it because those emotions that now I try to transform into words are new for me, and for the first time in my life I try to explain things that I feel for the first time in my life. And I feel that I should be very exact and accurate in my words.
I understand that at such moment is necessary to think over each word because even though I simply want to tell the truth, even though I simply want to tell sincerely everything what now is in my soul, I understand that the truth and sincerity can sometimes offend the person, bring
disappointment. And I want you to understand all my thoughts correctly because I do not want to offend you or to put you by my words into awkward position. Andrew, you are very dear to me, and I do not want to lose those relations that we have, because these relations are important for
And all main emotions that often visit my heart, - pleasure and even happiness, disappointment and sadness, now depend only on one thing - presence of your letter. I for the first time in my life tried to start relationship with a man who so far away from me, relations where thoughts and feelings of each other take the main place as these are the only things that unite us together. And it is a best opportunity to become first of all friends, best friends,- with the open hearts, ready sincerely to share with each other all feelings and emotions. I try all this for the first time in my life and I do not know what waits for me and you in the future, but I would be happy to have relationship with you, friendly and more, regardless of the fact what waits for each of us in the future. And I would be happy if you have such desire as well. And even though I for the first time in my life try to start such relationship, I already thank God for what I feel right now. It is very valuable for me and I believe that all that was in my life,- all ups and downs, all tests and losses are the way where God has put me to learn to appreciate life and to be wise, to learn to make decisions and to make a correct choice when the time of a choice will come. I believe that I had to pass through this way,- to be ready to meet a man who will become my soul and heart, with whom I will build the small world of love and tenderness, giving to him all my care, fidelity and infinite respect; with whom I will be up to death because he will give me the most important things in a life - the sincere love and care, These are an only things most important for me. And I am sure that these are things you appreciate as well. The beauty and external attractiveness are main thing for many people, but my life has shown me that the main thing in the person - internal beauty, beauty of his soul and heart. Not a lot of people really possess internal beauty and not a lot of people really understands that it is most important and most unique quality,- quality helping to believe in a miracles and in a fairy tales, quality that makes people sincere and kind. This is what I was looking for in a man, it is what I put at the first place, it is a feature that could open my heart. And I want to tell Andrew, that you are beautiful man, beautiful first of all as must be beautiful everyone true man. I speak first of all about beauty of your soul and heart. You are beautiful for me and that is why I already now thank Destiny that I has come to this crossroads of a life where I have met you. Here people forgot about many important things, and words "love" and "fidelity" here have lost sense, became simply words. I am not sure if you understand everything I try to tell, but I hope that my words do not offend you in any way.
My words are not simply words, it is a part of my soul that I open to you because I feel that I can and I want to do it. And I hope you feel in the same way.
And I really wish to develop our relations, to go further, to learn each other at a new level, where friendship is only the first step. I want to go on the way that will not be limited only to friendship. I see new horizons, and I feel that I want to try to promote our relation further than it enough to be simple friends. And I hope my words do not disappoint you because I always wanted to be sincere with you and I think that sincerity is a best thing. Could you ever relax your eyelids, allow your eyes to close, and to imagine a life we could share? I really dare to dream and imagine us together as man and woman,- people that can brighten a life of each other, fill life with sense and variety, with aspiration to learn each other more and more. And I think everyone should believe in dreams; everyone should believe that dreams can really come true! I know that I can lose you at any moment. I thought of us and I wanted to tell you everything I think; so that you know that I feel we becomes very good friends and our relations make me happy. I wanted to tell you everything what I think, so that you know that you are dear for me. And even the one day without you, without your letter is equivalent to eternity, therefore I even cannot imagine months without you at all...
And I hope that our relations are important for you just as for me.
I dare to hope, that you at least allow itself to think, that our relations can be promoted further than simply friendship.
I hope now you have really smile now! I will wait for your answer.
I hope I have not offended you.
I am not sure, that it is possible to trust Russian mail. It is very a shame to me to inform about it, but mail works for us not reliably. It is a lot of letters and parcels do not reach the addressee. I shall be distressed very much if your gift will not reach me. For this reason I think, is not necessary to risk. But many thanks for your attention.
At Russian customs house check all, and customs officers decide what to pass and what to confiscate or detain. It's impossible to find a parcel or letter after that, especially if a sending from America. I do not want, that your parcel or letter has come into the hands of any fat old customs guy or into the hands of his girlfriend. I would not want, that this greedy customs officer has sold or has simply given your parcel to any interested person.
P.S I have received the message. Soon my visa will be ready. But to Me yet have not informed date when it will be ready.
I shall inform you in advance when I shall arrive to your area. Inform me. What airport close to you???
I shall arrive alone.