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Letter(s) from Svetlana Zdorovets to Ian (New Zealand)
I am grateful to destiny that we are able to start our correspondence with one another & I look forward to much happiness in this. It's very pleasant to realize that somewhere in the world, may be thousand miles far away from here, there is a person, whom I am not a stranger any more, for whom I've become interesting & important person. That's why it was so pleasant for me to receive your letter. Who knows: may be it's the beginning of something special?
It's only the start for both of us and it's naturally that we want to know each as better as we can. So, I give more information about myself.
I was born and have lived all my life in Alchevsk - a small town in the Eastern part of Ukraine. At the present time I study in the Lugansk Pedagogical University and going to become a teacher. After graduation I will teach Russian Language and Literature to 6 - 10 year old kids. I adore kids and being around them, that`s why I decided to become a teacher.
I am 23. Never married and no children although would like to have kids in the future with the right person.
My family is not big - just Mom, Dad and myself, but we are very close and love each other very much. My Mom is an accountant and my Dad is a carpenter. I also have two best friends and we get together very often.
That`s when we go to see a movie, or visit other good friends of ours, or just talk about many things. They are funny to be with, but sometimes I like to be by myself for a while, stay home with my family, or read a book.
I would like to find out more about you and even though email is not perfect it would allow us to know each other well enough until we meet in person. It would be nice to learn more about you, your personality and what you value most in a relationship? What you like and dislike in a woman?
I believe that trust is most important, because strong and sincere relationship based on trust, honesty and friendship is what can and will stand the test of time.
I am waiting for your soonest reply with impatience,
Hello, my darling Ian,
Now I am sitting at the Internet Cafe and feel like in a fairy tale.
We have marvellous weather with a lot of snow. It's a pity that you are far away and you can't enjoy this beauty with me. But I am sure that one day we will meet and we will have the opportunity to enjoy this multicolored world together. Now Lugansk really looks like a Winter Kingdom and I am Princess who is writing for her Prince.
I understand that you are not satisfied with our communication but please, try to understand me. I explained you many times, that I am from poor family and sometimes I don't have enough money to pay for using internet at the Internet Cafe. Please, don't take evil on me. Ido my best to be in touch with you. If I could afford I would communicate every day with you.
I like you very much Ian and you are the only man who is in my thoughts. You can't even imagine what a joy is to communicate with you. I read every your letter several times and it's not enough for me. Every second I am asking myself : what is my darling Ian is thinking? Is he happy or sad? I miss you, Ian. I don't want to be only friends with you. It's not enough for me. I take you as the man who is in my heart, the man whom I want to kiss, the man with whom I want to make love.
I am sending you my address:
country: Ukraine, 91000
city : Lugansk
street: block Volkovo, 13a/68
my full name: Svetlana Zdorovets
I wish you success and luck in your plans and hope that this year will bring for you the performing of all your wishes. On Monday I am offered to come to one of the schools for interview. Hope that this interview will be successful and I will get the position of a teacher.
Yesterday I saw with my friend interesting movies. It's called "the smile of Mona Lisa" with Julia Roberts and "Mirror has two faces" with Barbra Streisand. What about you? What have you done during this period? What is your favorite movie?
I miss you incredibly.
My sweetheart, dearest, darling Ian,
I miss you a lot. I incredibly want to see you and be with you. I am tired of being here without you, my love. I want to be with you right now. By the way, I have another piece of good news, I bought the tickets on the 9 of July. Though, the time till 9 of July seems for me to be a whole eternity. Even a second is a whole eternity without you,
my darling Ian. You are my love, you are my song, you are my moon and sun.
You know, Ian, before I met you I stopped to believe in love. Your arrival in my life was the kind of miracle. I am amazed when I think of how kind fate has been. Only few of us know what love really is.
It must be in every breath you take, in every word you see, in every glance or look as you gaze at the one you adore. It is the act of living and loving that fills your soul until it is overflowing.
It is this the act of living and loving that finds those little hidden empty places in your heart you thought no one would ever find, illuminating every corner until there is no more darkness to be found.
At some point, emotion of this magnitude is beyond your own control and you are captive to a far greater thing. I do not know how I found you but surely we will hear the angels sing when we entwine and become one. I want to be with you. Some days patience comes without too much difficulty. Other days there is no patience but rather a subtle torment. I can feel you in my arms but you are not there. I can feel you in my soul but there is still a distance to reckon with. I guess maybe the barriers we face just to be together will foster a gratefulness and profound appreciation for each other when we can finally spend each day and night together. We will always recognize the treasure we have and never take it for granted. I cannot wait until your next letter arrives. I will be waiting impatiently. What I would really like is to hear your voice on the telephone. I want so much to talk to you though I know the longing would even be that much stronger. Until your next letter,
sweet dreams my dear one.
With much love,
My sweetheart, darling, dearest Ian,
I am so happy while reading the tender wonderful words dedicated to me. Thanks a lot for them. The happiest day in my life is the day when you wrote me and the song of our love has gotten its start. First of all, I sent you my plane schedule.
I depart on the 9 of July.
Departing: Borispol (KBP), Kiev, Ukraine
Terminal B 08:00
Arriving: Auckland (AKL), Auckland, New Zealand
Terminal I 21:15 , 10 of July
Flight: Qantas Airways
I fly through Vienna and Sydney.
My dearest man in this world, Ian! I thought much about us today.
I can't keep it in myself any more. I want so much our personal meeting to only say how much I love you. You are the dearest person in my life and I can't be apart from you. even that I haven't met you in the real life, I know one thing for sure: I LOVE YOU and this feeling will be in my soul forever. I love you and the thought about you makes me so happy. I want to be with you so much. I want to feel you with every part of my body, I want to feel the tender touch of your hands, to feel the smell of your body, just to know that I belong to you and that you are mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am full of desire and I want you as a man,
I want to be your wife, your friend, your soul mate, your lover,
your dream. I understand now perfectly that you are the man of my dream. I was searching for you all my life and now I have found you and I am not going to lose you. We will be happy together, I will do everything for it. I am strong enough to overcome all the difficulties and hardships which are between us. There is no barrier which can stop me. My love will overcome all the difficulties on our way to each another. We will be together, believe me.
Yesterday I got to know that I need to prove my financial ability at the Custom house. It means that I will be demanding of showing the money to prove that I can pay for myself while being abroad. I need to show 2500$ for 3 months of staying in New Zealand. Of course, today I called to the Embassy of New Zealand and I was told the same. The money are not for spending, I need them only to show at the Custom House. I don't know what to do.
I am so tired of unexpected problems.
I just want to see you, to look into your eyes, to kiss your lips, to touch your strong body. My love will be enough for two of us. Do you know the song of Bon Jovi " Always". This song is about my feelings to you. I will love you, baby, always and it doesn't matter for me what will be in the future. I will love you, you are the air I breath, the reason for me to live. And there is no life for me without you. Please, don't hurt me and tell me that you understand me. Hope to hear from you very soon. Love you. Miss you badly. Yours forever ,
My darling, dearest Ian,
It's so pleasant to send you a letter and write in it "My Ian". You know, this period seems to me the longest, in spite of the fact that in a week I will be in your arms. I count days and minutes till our meeting. My love, I want so much to be with you right now, kiss you,
speak to you, laugh with you, walk with you. I am lucky that I am with you. You are the best man in the world with the biggest and the most tender heart. Nature endowed you with good talent - the ability to love. Though, my darling Ian you have a lot of talents.
I love you.
I am ready to say it thousands of times.
I packed my things and now I am only waiting the time of my departure.
By the way I have some presents for you. Hope that you like them.
As for the money, I don't have credit card. I was at the bank and got to know that I can create it during a month. It's too long period. I pointed out the sum in American dollars. It's not necessary to show Kiwi, it's possible to show American dollars. I think that the convenient and the fastest way is Western Union. Of course, if you will agree with me. I don't want to put off my meeting any more.
I just want to be on my plane to you on the 9 of July. I want to go to you as fast as possible. I miss you a lot, Ian. I understand that it's a big sum but I promise that I will not spend a dollar from it. I will return it to you in New Zealand. The rules of Custom Hours should be done and I can't run from such rules.
Kiss you, my love,
My darling Ian…
I want to tell you I want you here with me if only for one night.
I live day to day thinking of you.
I picture in my mind everything about you, as if you were really here beside me.
When I fall asleep I dream that you're next to me and I can feel your skin underneath my hand. I dream of you running your hands through my hair, down my back, and over every part of my body.
I want to share my bed with you.
My world is spinning; I can feel defeat, why can't I sleep?
My heart breaks just to be around you. This tension, it kills me.
My unspoken attraction is enough to fill up volumes. How can I get close to you?
You have taken up residence in my mind...
I want so badly for you to tell me everything I want to hear...but you won't.
I want you to tell me that you want me...but you won't.
Every time I think of you I can feel the butterflies fluttering inside me.
At night I lay in bed and dream of you coming to my door grabbing me in your arms and kissing me.
I dream of you and me lying naked side by side; me running my hands down your chest, across your stomach, and between your legs feeling every inch of you with my fingers.
I imagine kissing you all over your body. Whispering at your ear how badly I want you.
I want you to hold me and I want to hear your voice.
I imagine being wrapped in your arms and pressed against your chest.
I would want you inside me, making me feel like part of you... and every time we touch; we would feel like we were the only two in existence.
But as I sit here watching the sun set into the horizon, my heart sinks with it.
My pain is all my fault, when will I learn? You asking if I want to come to you.
I wrote about thousands of time…..
…. that yes but sometimes it seems to me that you don't want to hear it.
I wrote you so many times that my visa has restrictions and now I am without visa as the term of it is invalid. To go to you I need to open my visa again. Moreover, I wrote you hundreds of time that the Ukrainian Custom Office asks only for showing money in cash and they don't worry about any sponsorship form. Sponsorship can help only in getting visa but not going through the Custom Office. I don't understand why you don't want to hear me, understand and help but I hope that one day it happens,
Now to go to you, I need to go to Moscow again and open my visa. I need money for it.