Letter(s) from Natalia Gorkovets to James (USA)

Letter 1

Hi, my far, but so dear James!

Many thanks for your letter! It was the long-awaited letter. I am really glad to receive your letter. I am really glad that I have found you James!

I have to tell to you that I have an ocean of emotions which I had no in my heart before! So my heart says to me that I have to answer by sincerity to your constant sincerity. I have to tell what I feel now because it is a part of our relations and I MUST share it with you James! I should tell that it was required two days to write and think about this letter because I wanted to find the right words to you to not offend or upset you in anyway, and it really bothered me. I normally speak directly from my heart, and I do so right now too but sometimes, words must be carefully chosen. I feel somewhat lost if I have no opportunity to use a computer to read your letter. In my soul, I feel the joy when I think of you James! I have never done this in my life, to begin a relationship halfway across the world and I had to learn much about you to proceed, but I am more than willing to learn whatever it takes to succeed if that is your desire as well! I also believe that couples should be the best friends if it is possible because trust and sharing with each other everything that they feel is the most basic thing of true relations. I do not know if my words and thoughts make sense to you but I have tried very hard to put them in normal words that you will feel it and understand me clearly! I believe in God and I believe that I have been put through trials to prepare me for the meeting a man with whom I will spend the rest of my life to love him, to better appreciate him, to respect him and to cherish the love that he would give! And the only thing that he would ask me is to return the same to him. I hope that my words and letters are not boring to you James but they are much more than usual words! It is my thoughts and feelings, and I send it to you James! I desire you very much to find it in your heart too and to share your personal feelings with me too. I wish to know you on a more intimate level. I would like you to share your dreams, your hopes, your feelings from the heart with me! I truly wish to communicate with you on a level that takes a way beyond just a friendship. Please do not think me foolish for a thinking these things James! I believe that we have to be honest and that is what I am trying to be with you. Could you close your eyes for just a minute and think and dream of what a life we could share together. What it would be like, the joy of learning each other more and more. I really believe that dreams could come true for people which are dare to believe in dreams and it could become in reality! May be you are shocked that I feel this way, but here, where I was grown up, the gift of true love from a man is something like a mirage or self-deception. And It could be more real than a mutual feeling which two close people can give each other. I hope that I am not rambling on with my words. I have so much that I wish to share with you, and each time I write to you, I feel there is never enough time to say everything that I want to say and I always feel that I have forgotten something important to say to you James! When I speak of you and I think of you, it does not matter for me what anyone else thinks. I want to tell that you are very beautiful for me. I speak of the beauty that is within you, a beauty of your inner world and that is why this particular type of beauty is very special and rare in our world. Most men have only appearances but have not a beauty inside but this is where the true beauty is! For me it is the most important thing of your character and soul. You speak to me with so much kindness and care. It express the beauty which is within you. I think that you are truly handsome, the essence of what beauty should be and there is nothing that anyone could say to me that would makes me to change my mind. I want to reduce all my letter only to one thought. I do not know if I could clearly explain all my thoughts and feelings, which overflow me now. I want to tell that I feel so as we become very good friends and I really enjoy our friendship. I want to learn you more and I hope that you suppose that our relations can develop more than it enough for a simple friendship. It is the way I feel. As always I hope that my letter finds you in a good health and spirits, and I hope that yours wishes will come true one day! I will look forward to your reply as always with great impatience. I don't know what I will be doing tomorrow but I know for sure that I will write you James no matter what it will be here.

I hope to find your reply and I look forward to its arrival.

With great tenderness, Natasha.