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Letter(s) from Olga Loskudova to Paul (USA)
Hi, my far, but dear friend Paul.
Many thanks for your letter. It was the long-awaited letter. I am really madly glad to receive your letter. I am really glad that I have found you. Please, READ ATTENTIVELY THIS LETTER, and try understand me as it is possible better.
Paul you are starting to get a hold of my heart all is closer and closer but please just dont break my heart .
I should tell to you that I have ocean of emotions and sensations which I had no in my heart before. And on this, my reason and my heart say me that I should answer by sincerity your constant sincerity. My heart and my reason says me that I should tell what I feel now because it is a part of our friendship and I should share it with you. I should tell that it was required some days to think over this letter, because I wanted to say just the right things to you. I didn't want to offend or upset you in anyway, and it really bothered me that saying something wrong may do that. I normally speak directly from my heart, and I am right now, but sometimes, words must be carefully chosen. I feel somewhat lost when I have no opportunity to use a computer to read your letter. In my soul, I feel contentment and joy when I think of you.
I have never done this in my life, (tried to initiate a relationship halfway across the world), and I might have much to learn about how to proceed, but I am more than willing to learn whatever it takes to succeed if that is your desire as well. I also believe that couples should be the best friends possible, which trust and share with each other everything that they feel. I do not know if my word and thoughts make sense to you, and I try very hard to put them in typed words that you will feel and understand. I believe in God, and I believe that I have been put through trials to prepare me for meeting a man with whom I will spend the rest of my life loving, to better appreciate him, respect him and cherish the love, that he would give; only asking that I return the same. I hope that my words and letters are not boring to you, but they are much more than mere words, they are my thoughts and feelings, and I send them out to you. I very much desire that you find it in your heart and are comfortable with sharing your personal feelings with me, I wish to know you on a more intimate level, I would like you to share your dreams, your hopes, your feelings of the heart with me, I truly wish to connect with you on a level that goes way beyond mere friendship......Probably it is love? All in comparison with you is insignificant, that it is practically impossible for me not to fall in love with you. Please do not think me foolish for thinking these things, I believe that in order for anything to succeed, you have to be honest, and that is what I am doing with you. Could you close your eyes for just a minute, and think and dream of what a life we could share, what it would be like, the fun of learning each other. I really believe that dreams do come true for people which dare to believe in dreams, because if they believe in them hard enough, dreams could become in reality. I guess that you are shocked that I feel this way, but here, where I was raised, the gift of true love from a man is something that is more similar to a Mirage or self-deception, rather than mutual feeling which two enamored people can give each other. I hope that I am not rambling on with my words. I have so much that I wish to share with you, and each time I write to you, I feel there is never enough time to say everything that I want to say, and I always feel that I have forgotten something important that I wanted to share with you. Paul, when I speak of you and I think of you, it does not matter for me what anyone else thinks. I want to tell that you are very beautiful for me. I mean, I find that you are not only attractive as a man, I also speak of the beauty that is within you, beauty of your internal world, and alas, this particular type of beauty is very special and rare. Most men have only appearances, but not have beauty inside, and this is where true beauty is. This, is that for me is the most important and significant in all limits of my character, my soul and my consciousness. Your words spoken to me with so much kindness and care, they express the beauty within you. I think that you are truly handsome, the essence of what beauty should be, and there is nothing that anyone could say to me that would compel to change my mind even a little bit. I want to reduce essence of all my letter only to one thought. I do not know if I could clearly explain all my thoughts and feelings, which overflow me now, or not. I want to tell that I feel, we become very good friends and I really enjoy our friendship. I aspire to learn you more and I dare to hope that you suppose a thought that our relations can develop more than it enough for simple friendship. It is that way which I feel. As always I hope that my letter finds you in good health and spirits, and I hope that every yours wish you have comes true one day. I will look forward to your reply as always with anticipation and impatience....
I hope that your reply is not of a harsh nature, and I look forward to its arrival.
In a picture I with wet hair. I after a shower.
With tenderness, Olga.
Hi My Dearest Love Paul!
Soon we will be together and it will be wonderful. If we fated to become single whole, I believe that it will be.
Today I have received the conclusion of medical survey. I am completely healthy. Today I shall carry these documents in firm of visas.
Now for reception of the visa, remained formal international details which will occupy still some time. As soon as something will be known still, I shall inform you at once. Do you are glad to news? I think what yes.
Your love gives me force and bravery. You always in my consciousness.
Your love is the air that breathes life in my body. It is the sunshine in my soul. The rain that creates rivers of emotion, that flows within me from head to toe. Your love is the warm hand that lifts me out of myself and into a world unknown till now. Leaving past sorrows behind, we will awaken in our dream together. A new beginning, a new world, with limitless possibilities. All things we thought were valuable are meaningless now. For in our love, we have found the treasures of the heart and soul. Our ways and means that had guided us well, no longer serve two hearts that are now one. We will be as innocent children, needing to taste, touch, and smell all these new things. And as adolescents, we shall taste the fruits of the flesh as if for the first time, like Adam and Eve once felt in the Garden of Eden. It will be a paradise we have never known before. With gentle caress', and kissing of lips, our passions will grow. Our hearts will beat faster, and the heat of our bodies will cause sweat to flow. And when time stands still, we will unite mind, body, and soul. In the darkness, calm and still, we will hold each other tight, and our hearts will beat as one. It is then we will truly know, that we have finally found each other, and our love will forever grow, in pleasure or grief, in health or illness I always shall be near to you.
I love you so much Paul. You are My One and Only True Love. Many hugs and kisses.
Live for LOVE! When you Love, do it with all your might, all your Devotion and for all eternity!
My love Paul!
Today I went to visas firm. I was told that my visa was ready at last, I was most happy the woman at that time. I also reserve tickets. The number of the flight on which I reserve the ticket, it would be on the June,17 : 9:55 am Depart Moscow (SVO) Aeroflot-Russian International Airlines 101 Arrive Salt Lake City (SLC) 7:28 pm Delta 971
I reserve the cheapest ticket to Salt Lake City and cost 1350 USD. But I had no this money. So I went to pawnshop and pawned silver and gold embellishments which I had from my mom. I with tears on eyes, pawned my jewelry which were unique memory of my mom, but all this for the sake of you. I got 175 USD But it is not enough for full cost of the ticket. I have paid in whole 950 USD. It was my last money.
It is very difficult for me to tell you about it. But I have done everything I can. I paid visa. I have bought the ticket on a train up to Moscow. I paid a part of the ticket. But this money is not enough. I don't want to burden you. I want to reach you with my own money but unfortunately I have failed. Now I have to pay the remaining part. It is only 400 USD. I must pay this money before June, 8, Otherwise I will lose my money and reserve ticket. If you love me, and if you want to see me soon, please, send the money for the ticket before June, 8, morning.
I understand that it is a difficult decision for you. Of course if you don't want you can not help me. It is bad but not fatal. I will lose my money and our meeting. I speak so because I am in despair and confusion. Now, when we are divided only with one step, I am afraid. I am afraid that you will not help, and all my diligence will be gone. I love you and I want to be with you. I have not calculated my forces. But together we are much stronger. It is much easier to go through difficulties and barrier together. I want to present you all my infinite love and fidelity.
I did not want to ask you. I thought, that I can make all itself. The loneliness has made me strong. I have got used to live without the help, and to rely only on myself. I very seldom address to somebody for the help, but now I ask you to help me. I THINK, BOTH OF US WANT THIS MEETING, means also charges we should divide for two. I THINK IT FAIRLY.
I have made a step forward. Make also you a step towards to me. I hope that has not offended you. I love you and I trust. I know, that you will not throw me now when there is only one step. My love is boundless to you. I am confident, your love to me too.
The love is not measured in money, money it only a small problem for us now.
Tell me Paul, can you help me? If you have an opportunity please help me.
If you have really decided to send me of money. I have found out about the western union (It is company the engaged money transfer). Western Union has website, called www.westernunion.com. Probably it will help you with the greater information on it.
the western union to KOSTROMA city. You can send money to this address:
KOSTROMA, RUSSIAN FEDERATION 156000
For Olga Loskudova.
TO GET THE MONEY, I SHOULD TELL THE EMPLOYEE OF BANK :
1 your full name
2 your full address
3 exact amount money
4 confidential numbers (Money Transfer Control Number), which will be given to you, when you send the money.
Without this information, I shall be not capable to receive money.
Forever yours Olga.
Hi my unforgettable love Paul.
I miss you so much that my patience is on a limit! I'm dreaming of our meeting when sleep!I'm so happy to find you my only love!!! I found that all my thoughts are of you and no more else. I can't wait for the time of our meeting in reality. that's will be the most wonderful and happiest moment of my life at this world!!! I can notice at me to be always in good mood when thinking of you even if something wrong around.
My soul singing the song of love in expectation of our meeting.
I'm dreaming it so: as I running down the a gangway and begin kissing you as insatiable.
The first our night will the most romantic night in my short life!!!
We'll walk and speak as much as we can.
I'm sure our love will overcome all language barriers!!! We'll kiss as yongest lovers under the calm shining of Moon. The stars will shine only for us!!!! They will smile looking as two people can't find a word to describe such a great feeling arisen between us! You know I'm crying sometimes with tears of love in to my a pillow by nights!!! Is it a love as great Shakespire describe?!!!I believe in this love and do you my love? I feel a little tired now but when I recall you I become strong and hard as steel. Do I make you the same? I give you many kisses for good day for you.