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Letter(s) from Anastasia Belyanina to Bryce (USA)
Hi Bryce, it's Darja!
I write to you my third and last letter. I wrote to you the small letter on dating site because wanted to find a friend and more and you have answered me. And I have perceived your answer as your desire to speak with me, to learn each other and to see where our friendship will lead us. Therefore I have written to you the letter about myself. I thought that if you have answered, it means that you desire to build the relation. I have written to you about myself and thought that you will write about you as well. But I did not receive any answers from you. Every day I wait for your response, but you do not write. I do not know what to think. I thought that you were serious in your search. Possibly I was late with my answer and you have found some other woman. But I sent you the letter and I thought that if you do not want to talk to me, at least you will tell me about it.
I think that to write a couple of words is not very difficultly.
And I will not disturb you any more. Sincerely and with hope.
Thanks that you repeat your letter, I did not receive such letter.
How your day? I hope you are glad to receive my letter because when I have received your letter I really was glad. Many thanks. At once I want to tell to you about my opportunities to write letters to you.
I write letters on my job because I have no the personal computer.
The computer is in an accounting department. Lady who works with a computer will allow me to use a computer in my interests sometimes.
It depends not from me, unfortunately. I work from Monday till Friday.
It is Russian standard. Therefore I will not be able to write you and to receive your letters Saturday and on Sunday. But sometimes I work Saturday and even Sunday. In fact any pain hasn't schedules(smile).
Therefore, maybe I will be able to write letters in the Saturday or Sunday.
You have written such a big letter (smile). But all the same I am very glad. I hope you will tell more about yourself, like I do it, OK?
I will hope to receive your picture soon. I will be very grateful to you!
Well, I will tell you more about my interests. I like various types of music. I like to listen to classical music. I like Dire Straits. I like very much Sting. But my favorite is Pink Floyd. They are not similar to anybody. It is a great band. I like Queen, Madonna and many others. In World there are a lot of great musicians. I like Russian musicians but likely you do not know them. Have you ever heard of Gorky Park? They are Russians who sang in America. OK, movie!
I like works of such Russian directors as Konchalovsky, Mikhalkov. My favorite movies are "The Barber of Siberia" and "Burnt by the Sun".
It's masterpieces of the Russian cinema. Also I like American movies very much. The American movie in Russia is considered like the greatest.
I like various films. I like dramas: Mystic River, American Beauty, 21 gramme, A Perfect World, One Flew Over Cuckoos Nest, The Shawshank Redemption; fantasy: K-PAX, Star Wars, Sin City, the Lord of the Rings, Dragonfly, melodramas: Love Actually, Scent Of a Woman, Forrest Gump, Cast Away, The Notebook, I am Sam; sports movies: Raging Bull, Cinderella Man; thrillers: Seven, Fight club, and many others, such as Godfather, Deadman, Once upon a time in America, Family man, The Insider, Erin Brockovich, Brave Heart, the Sixth Sense, Rainman, Groundhog Day. I like very much movies Quentin Tarantino: Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill.
My favorite actors - Bruce Willis, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Kevin Costner, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, Tom Hanks, Kevin Spacey, Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington, Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood.
My hobby, if it's possible to tell so - the English language. I have loved English long ago, when I studied at school. In Russia the program of training necessarily includes foreign language, as a rule - English, German or French. I have entered in group of the English language and I am happy that I made it. I like English very much. After school, I continued studying English at the university. I like this language. I have been studying English language for 18 years. I want to know this language perfectly. Of course I speak English. I only hope that you would love my Russian accent that I have without any doubts. I know that now I admit mistakes, but I hope you won't angry. But my biggest predilection that will be with me during all my life is the knitting!
My mom has taught me to knit in the childhood, and now I knit sweaters, jackets and waistcoats for myself and for my friends. I like to knit very much, and I like woolen clothes very much. Basically all warm sweaters that I have, I have made by my own hands. I do not know if in your country the knitting is popular, but here it is very popular. What else to tell about me? I have no children and I was never married, though of course I was in relationship and even thought that it will lead me to the happy future. But now I haven't anything except of bad and painful memoirs.
Bryce, how you would describe your character? I never tried to describe features of my character to somebody. I live with a smile on my face and with hope in my heart. I think I can consider myself an optimist.
And maybe it has helped me to dare to write you. I saw a great deal in my life, and for 30 years I have passed through a lot of vital tests.
And I know that I do not need many things to be happy. All I need is a man, friend, soul-mate, love. And my life has led me to the fact that now I seeks it in such way. And I do not think it is bad. How do you think? I live honestly, and it brings pleasure to me. I know that happiness not requires many things. Likely the main thing that does not suffice me now is love. People without love cannot be happy. And I speak not only about love between a man and a woman, but also about love to a family for example. I have no family anymore and it really oppresses me. I always recollect my family. Bryce, you meet your family often? I very much want to return that time when I had family.
Are you looking for the soul mate or just a friend? What are you looking for in a soulmate, Bryce, if you are looking for? I hope to receive your letter soon. Sincerely and with the best regards.
First of all I want to apologize for my delay with my answer. Please do not be angry with me, but the computer in our clinic was faulty.
I work today, but it is not bad, at least I can write to you today.
Today definitely good day - day of dialogue with my friend Bryce! (Smile).
How it is wonderful to receive something that you really wait. And in a case with me it of course your letter! Thank you! Today was a difficult day, and dialogue with you removes my physical weariness. The quantity of patients has considerably increased for some last years. Here many people lives in the remote areas, impassable districts. They lives even without an electricity in absolutely unsuitable conditions for a life. And it certainly becomes the reason of a plenty of diseases. The sad fact.
Sometimes I want our president to live here instead of the Kremlin, simply to understand what life is. Maybe in this case all wars would end much faster? Forgive me that I tell you about our problems, simply I write all what in my head. If you do not like to read about it - simply tell me.
Thank you for your pictures. It is a fine pictures. You are a strong And handsome man. I very much like this pictures. It is wonderful, when a man combines force and charm. It happens so seldom. Forgive me for my frank words. But I always speak what I think. I think there is nothing bad in it. You have pleasant appearance and it is wonderful.
I understand that you are not one who write big letters, but, may be for the sake of me you can sacrifice several minutes to write me more about you? (Smile). I would estimate this sacrifice! (Smile).
By the way Bryce I have asked you about your family in my last letter because it really interestingly for me, as all my family has passed away.
My parents were military, mom was the military doctor, father was the officer and we hadn't constant house because they very often got the notice about new place of service, in places with the military conflict.
Therefore my childhood was not very cheerful. We lived in temporary habitation outside of zone of conflict, therefore sometimes I did not see my parents some weeks, and I was at home absolutely alone, being an eight-year girl. Therefore since the early childhood I am able to cook, sew, knit and do any heavy physical work. Now I absolutely agree that it's correctly said that:"Thing that does not kill us makes us stronger".
Don't you agree Bryce? When father got new place of service near to city Barnaul, I have gone to study in the good medical university in Tomsk.
I lived in student's hotel on distance of 300 kilometers from my parents.
But we had meeting some times in the year. Later my parents got new place of service and have left to live in the Vodino. And I saw my parents only once in one year. At university for the first time in my life I have found a true friend (it is Kristina) who is my best and reliable friend till now. We have together passed through a hard time when have been compelled to study and work in the evening and at night,- just to support itself. After ending of university I was to get direction for intern in Tomsk area, but I have received the letter from mom where she informed that daddy has been killed in military collision. There is nothing worse than to find out about death of the parent from the letter.
After that I began to live with mom because I was afraid to leave her lone at such difficult period. One and a half year ago my mom has died of a heart attack. I will not describe all pain and suffering which I had at that time.
Simply I want to tell that all ups and downs, all pleasures and misfortunes that were in my life have led me to who I am now. The destiny was not tender with me, but I am grateful to my destiny for my parents, I am grateful to my destiny for my friend Kristina, because it really a gift of destiny. And I hope Bryce you are not angry with me that I talk to you about it? It is my life and it is a part of me. And how you would learn me more if I would not tell you it, really? And I as well would be glad to learn more about you. Your life is very interesting to me. Are you grateful to destiny for anything in your life Bryce? How often you become tired on work? Do you like the nature, rivers and lakes, woods and mountains? Are you religious person Bryce? I will wait for your letter so please write me soon! Sincerely and with the best regards.
Your friend (I hope) Darja.
Today I had so much work that I was afraid that I wouldn't have time to get your letter. And I have to say that it is distressed me. But now I have found free time and very glad. Thank you for your kind letter.
My last letter was sad. That's why today I will try not to write about sad things. How there were your day? Now I am smiling and have a good mood, because today we found out that in two days into Rostov on Don will be coming big exhibition of rare breeds of cats and dogs. It is great news because at this exhibition there will be the best representatives of rare breeds, collected from all of Russia. Everybody wants to visit this exhibition because it will last only for several days. I like animals very much. Can you imagine that I never was in a zoo? It is my dream. Have you ever been in zoo? We have here several small menageries, but I dream to see giraffes and rhinoceroses, hippopotamuses and bears. I never saw tigers and elephants in real life. Have you ever seen a tiger or a bear?
The biggest animal I saw in my life is a horse. I like horses very much and think that these are the most beautiful animals in the planet.
As matter of fact I have always dreamt to have some pets.
Unfortunately a horse hardly would be placed in my apartment (smile).
I dreamt to have cat or dog. But when I think that a little puppy will wait for me home, alone, I feel pity. That's why I don't have pets.
By the way, once I visited an exhibition of wax figures of the well-known people. It was interesting. I attached some pictures of that exhibition.
Thanks for fine pictures! Silvester Stallone - a little boy in comparison with you! (Smile) Thank you for the fine judicious informative, kind letter. I like to learn you more. By reading your letters I start to understand your heart, your soul. I am glad to find out your thoughts and reasoning's. Thank you for your detailed story about you and about your family.
What else to tell about myself? I always very much get tired on work. And though my work is not heavy physical work but like any doctor, I am in constant concentration and an internal moral strenuousness, because the health of people depends on my attention. I am always waiting weekends with impatience. Weekends are the only one possibility for me to get a rest and to get new forces. Weekends I spend variously.
Sometimes I want simply to rest in my apartment. I live alone in my apartment. I have the one-room apartment with a toilet and kitchen.
I like my apartment - small and cozy. On weekends I always clean apartment properly. I like purity. And though I always try to keep clean my apartment, all the same, always in the weekends I find what work to make in an apartment. But when I want really to relax I listen to music or read books. I like to read books especially historical novels about ancient Russia or other countries. I like to spend time with my female friends. I have two best lady friends. When we meet, the air is filling with laughter. We like to walk and to talk; we go to cinema and walk in the park. If you want I can tell you about my friends.
I like very much to spend time in nature in the open air. I like the sea.
I live not very far away from the sea, but should tell that I have been there very seldom. I like woods, mountains, lakes and the rivers more.
Camping in Russia is very popular. I adore to go to the forest and to live in a tent though now I have such opportunity seldom. I like to look at night illumination and cars headlights. I like very much to look at the stars. In August our sky abound with stars. It is incredible beautifully. I like to cook on the fire. There is nothing more wonderful than when the fragrances of forest, mountain rivers and smoke mix together in the air. I am romantic undoubtedly. I really like to cook. I know that I do it well, because I started cooking from childhood.
My mother taught me many things including cooking. She said: "Lady who can cook well doesn't have disadvantages and demerits, because tasty food is a way to the man's heart (smile). May be she was right. We have In Russia many national dishes, such as an okroshka, uha, borsch, golubtsy, pelmeni. I am not sure if you know such dishes. These are Russian national dishes. Also I like Italian food (pizza, spaghetti), I like sea foods. Once I even tried sushi. What dishes do you prefer Bryce? Looking back at your life would you like to change something?
I have to finish. I hope my letter was not stodgy and uninteresting.
I will wait for your letter with impatience. I wish you peace and kindness. Darja.
Hi, my dear friend Bryce!
Thank you for your letter. Day by day I feel more need in getting your letter. My mood has become better again when I have got your letter. I should say that when I have good mood I hear gratitude from my patients much more often (smile). Therefore, now the health of a Russian women depend on your letters (smile again).
Thanks for your story about a zoo. I can imagine as far as it interestingly in a real life. Maybe one day I too will see it.
I have no pets, but I dream to have a dog. Only I cannot solve what dog I want. I equally like the big and small dogs. Likely my choice will stop on the big dog because I live alone. I am afraid to remain at home alone, because the crimes in Russia at the highest level. But probable with the big dog it will not be so fear.
To my regret I could not visit an exhibition. Last days was a lot of work and I could not go to Rostov on Don. But it not death (smile). By the way, when I came to work today, my mood was bad, because my friend Kristina fell ill and now she is in the hospital. The saddest thing is that she has birthday today. She is 30 years old today. Unfortunately she will spend her birthday in the hospital. But I have already talked with a doctor and I will be allowed to spend evening in her chamber.
In the evening I will bake a cake, I will buy balloons and go to the hospital. I hope very much that she will have good mood on her birthday.
She is my best friend. By the way, she works with me in the clinic.
Kristina the doctor the otolaryngologist in our clinic. By the way, the otolaryngologist is the doctor an ear, a throat and a nose. As a matter of fact I have only two real friends - Kristina and Yulija. Kristina is a lady who is in the hospital. Yulija is our friend already for several years.
Yulija works as the conductor in a train and when she on work, we do not see her for some days. Kristina and I are like sisters. We like to take a walk.
Usually we walk in the park. But also we like to spend time in Kristina vegetable garden. She lives in an old wooden house. I don't know if you have seen such houses. It is the houses which were built before the Second World War, in the fortieth years. These are very old houses which don't have bath and running water. So people have to take water outside in the well. In modern world such conditions seem very terrible, but this is really so. We like to spend time in Kristina vegetable garden.
There she grows the potato, tomatoes and cucumbers not to buy them in the market. Every winter Kristina, Yulija and I together build a big Snowman in her vegetable garden, using a big snow spheres. We put carrot instead of nose, and potatoes instead of eyes. It is very funny. All neighbor's children came to see it. By the way, if we want to fool about, we put carrots not only instead of a nose but also below...(hint and smile)
First time we made such Snowman 10 years ago. Since that time we do it every year. It is a tradition for us. We poured it with water to cover with ice. So it could stand for the whole winter.
I like Vodino. Almost all people in our village know each other.
We have little buildings - maximum 2 floors. Kristina says that she wants to live in a big city. I don't know where is better. Big city is a big traffic, fast rhythm of life, garlands of fires, lightning's of shop windows, high buildings, fountains, cinemas, parks, attractions, theatres.
It is wonderful, of course I like it. But our village is a fresh air, a lot of trees and birds, silent and comfortable, cozy, quiet place, no hubris and vanity inherent for big cities. We have a lot of small and large lakes and rivers. The places are very beautiful. If there was no criminality, it would be paradise. But alas, the criminal in small cities, as well as in the big cities is an integral part our life. Unfortunately the crime in Russia is on a very high level. But I don't want to tell about sad things. Several times, Kristina, Yulija and I went to the festival of bard song. This is a place on the coast of the river where a lot of people come from all country. At night the coast is covered with thousand fires lights. The scene is a huge raft having the form of a guitar and established right on water and everybody who wants to sing together with famous bard singers, goes on this raft and starts to sing. And all thousands people become silent and listen to this singer even if he is absolutely unknown. It is the unique festival. I have to finish my letter.
I don't want but I have to do it. Today when I will come to Kristina we will talk about you. She likes to ask about you and I like to tell her. I wanted to ask you what makes you happy Bryce? What was the best gift from a woman you got? Sincerely your, and with best wishes.
Thanks for your anxiety about Kristina. She has female disease.
It is not dangerous, but demanded to place her in hospital to take small survey. Now doctors have found out everything and probably tomorrow or the day after tomorrow she will already leave hospital, but will be compelled to spend still some days home to provide a rest.
At once I want to tell that Kristina sends you her greetings. I was in hospital and we have spent her birthday very well. I wanted to bake a small cake, but it has turned out on the contrary. The cake was huge. It weighed two kg. When I have brought it to hospital, we have divided this into set of pieces; and all doctors and some patients that were in this small branch are drank tea and ate a cake together with us and everyone was glad and happy. I have brought a lot of balloons. She was very glad and grateful to me. The day is wonderful today and the weather is good. The sun is shining all the day. To add to all this I have got your letter and my happiness doesn't have limits. So what about your weather? May be today after work I will take a walk. I like to walk along the street and to breathe the fresh air, especially when the weather is warm, even in the winter. As a matter of fact I don't want to go home. At home is very boringly and lonesomely. Sometimes I don't notice it, but sometimes when I come home with good mood, I want to talk very much, to share thoughts with anybody, to have fun. But my apartment is empty and I have to be in full loneliness. And my good mood disappears. I simply sit down into the armchair and look at the window. And when the silence deafens me, when I hear movement of my eyelashes, at that moment the hoop of loneliness compresses my heart.
I can listen to music or read a book. I can go to my friends. But in some moment I understand that I just deceive myself. In fact I want a beloved person to be near me, with whom I could spend evenings, to meet morning, to talk about yesterday and to dream about tomorrow day. I want to walk and to feel a strong man arm holds me. I don't want to cook meals only for myself. I want somebody to appreciate it. But I think enough about it.
Hi Bryce, again. I began writing the letter in the morning.
Now already 2 p.m. Can you imagine? Today was heavy working day. My working day comes to an end soon. But, one employee has brought here her small son, and she has asked me to look after him because she should leave urgently for some hours. The boy knows me very well. He already some times remained with me and spent time. As our clinic works till 22.00, we can be here up to the end of work day. His mom works in our clinic only a few months and she has no friends or relatives here. That's why I already some times helped her. Her son is amusing boy. He told to me that tomorrow he with mom should go to dentist to treat his ill tooth. I asked him: What do you dream about?
He answered that he dreams to become a grownup because grownups don't have problems with teeth. It was so funny. I often recollect childhood.
I always dreamed to become a grown up as soon as possible. As every child I completely believed that grownups don't have problems at all. I dreamt in the childhood and I dream now. Of course, the world of dreams is an illusive world. We live in a real life, so we should not sink into the world of dreams and phantasies for a long time. When a dream becomes obsession, it can bring only pain and disappointment. Our dreams come true not always. It happens that you use all energy, all aspiration to make dream come true. But irrespective of how strenuously you try, not everything in this life depend on us. When the dream for a long time does not come true, dream ceases to be the star, that was for you a lighthouse in the ocean of the life. But anyway, I think that it is impossible to live without dreams and hopes. When there is a dream, the life is filled with sense. Our dreams force us to think, analyze, choose and come to a conclusion. The Faith and Hope are eternal satellites of our lifes. And regardless of what waits you at the end, we remember joy of the victories better, than disappointment and pain of the defeats. Don't you agree?
I'm surprised that I write all this to you. I have never had a man, with whom I felt conveniently in sharing my thoughts. But now I have found you, and I am very glad. Forgive me for my frankness. If I said something superfluous forgive me please. Can I ask some small questions? Do you like to sleep, or get up early in the morning? Do you like to kiss? (smile)
Are you a good kisser? (smile) Do you like when your friends come to your home or you prefer to go to friends. I adore when Kristina or Yulija come to my apartment. What clothes do you like to see in a lady? I will wait for your letter with impatience.
I am very glad that you have written me. Thank you very much. You cannot imagine how much I wait for messages from you! Your letters became a part of my days! Now in my thoughts always only one question - "When I will get an opportunity to read your letter and to write my letter to you?"... And when I hear a favorite phrase: "Darja, you can jump, you has received the letter!" (A lady who works with a computer says exactly this phrase) I really become joyful very much and start to smile involuntarily. Therefore thank you!!!
Today is a good day and to clinic I have come already with good mood.
Today at night there was a little rain. In the morning I have come out to the street to jog and I have seen that all footpaths and roads completely are filled with water . But I like such a weather. I like any weather. Many people do not notice beauty that surrounded them.
In my soul such a weather wakens the big energy and fine mood.
I like all seasons. I like autumn. Yellow leaves, gold trees. It is so wonderful to walk in the park and to listen to how leaves rustle under feet; to see the clouds that float in the sky, to see birds departing to the warm lands. And at night the sky begins to cry.
The rain knocks on windows and roofs. A lightning illuminates for shares of second the empty streets. It is wonderful. How it would be wonderful in such a weather to appear with beloved in a small room with a warm fireplace; weak light and singing of a cricket. How you think Bryce? What can be finer than romantic evening in rainy day?
I at all do not know what season I like more. Russian winter is delightful. The all world around is white. And falls of snow bewitches, especially in the evening. When you see flows of light from a window, and on a background of black sky small snowflakes are similar to stars. And if for a long time you look at the sky, then it seems that you are flying through these wonderful snowflakes towards something unknown. I like spring. The world as though is born again.
Air is filled with freshness. All troubles and failures thaws together with snow. The sounds of the baby birds chirping for the first time. Summer is a fine mood, the desire to learn the world, to have a rest and enjoy life. I feel that I rambling on.
Thank you for your fine words. Thanks for your sincere and gentle words. Nobody spoke with me so gently, cautiously and sincerely before! Your thoughts and feelings are so beautiful and romantic.
And I see me in your thoughts and it force me to feel that I especial lady. Your letters and your thoughts bring pleasure at my day and give calm to my soul. I think of you and I feel warmth in my heart.
I really want to tell you what I feel. I get a great pleasure when you write to me. Your letters and your thoughts bring pleasure at my day and give calm to my soul. I think of you and I feel warmth in heart.
You have such kind heart. Something inside me prompted me that you very sincere and true a man. It so is important for me. I always think about you and it is pleasant to me. I do not know where I go.
But I am not afraid of it. Nobody knows what waits for us in the future, in one hour, or tomorrow, or in 20 years. I simply go there where directs me my heart. I'm listening what my heart says to me.
When will come time to do the choice, to choose road, my heart again will tell me what I have to do now. So was always in my life. And now my heart is overflow with unusual feelings, and I do not know how to describe what I feel. I do not feel that between us thousand kilometers.
I constantly think of you. I never feel such warmth in my heart.
Oh yes! I like to kiss! (I want to intrigue you! I could?) I think that a kiss it in general the most romantic and sensual way of expression of the love, tenderness and desire. People allow to each other to learn a internal world and taste of each other; people exchange breath.
It is very sensual moment and of course it brings pleasure to any person.
Kiss it's display of feelings. By means of a kiss is possible to tell very much. It is very important part of relationship. Any displays of feelings, kiss or embrace are very important. It is the basic factor of relationship.
I think the more, the better. I like to be kissed in a neck! It is my magic place! Also shoulders, hands, a stomach and of course lips!!!!!
I like to be affectionate. It is a part of my character. I like to give tenderness and I like to get the tenderness. Therefore I hate a rage and roughness. I like to express feelings in all allowable ways.
And I think that it's wonderfully. You have asked if I want children.
I very much love children. They should be loved. Children is our future. Children are like music. They raise mood. Children are flowers of a life. The wise man has told - the main thing that the person during the life should make - to build the house, to put a tree and to bring up children. If I will have children I will love them more than life. Also I want to tell that for me the fact that a man has children means that a man is serious, responsible, wise and with life experience . For me a man with children is a man in full sense of this word. A man with children without of any doubts possesses major qualities of human and man, qualities which I like and appreciate in a man above all because only with such a man I could feel myself comfortably and reliably!
By the way, I jog for many years. I really have good health because I always try to support my figure and I jog every morning.
I try to spend time in the air as much as possible. I have no car and I use transport extremely seldom. I get contrast shower - alternation of a stream of cold and hot water. I since the childhood lived in conditions of cold winter and damp autumn. Such climate is toughening health very well. I do not smoke and I do not drink alcoholic drinks.
I really love a healthy way of life. And I am proud of it. I love sports very much. Though should admit that I never played golf, soccer and basketball, never boxed. But I could surprise you, if I had opportunity to compete with you in beach volleyball. By the way, when I studied at university, I visited section of swimming and have reached good results. Some times I participated in swim competitions.
Swimming - till now my favorite kind of sports. Bryce, I send my pictures. I hope you will like it. I for a long time thought and have decided to send a picture - only for you... So, this picture really only for you! I hope you understand... I have to finish. With the best regards and with thoughts of you. Darja.
Hi my dear friend, Bryce!!!!
I am very glad that you have written. Many thanks. You have again raised my mood and have placed a happy smile into my face.
It is wonderful, that you have son. Likely you are a very happy man.
Of course I am NOT bothered with your child. Children it's a miracle. Children bring pleasure. I am very glad that you have the child. And I do not understand how your child can bother me.
To answer your serious question I want to tell that I think any relations should have as the reliable foundation - friendship, sincere and true. I am happy to have you as a good friend and if it will lead to something more close, I will be happy. If I write to you it means that I admit a thought that we can become close friends, and of course I admit a thought about possible future together! From the very beginning I have told that I write not for fun. For me it is a serious step. Now we go on a way of learning each other and I think it is a correct way. I feel that we become good friends, and it can serve as a springboard for something greater. I do not know what waits for us in the future. But anyhow, you bring to me positive emotions and make me smile. It means that you already have found a place in my heart. Where it will lead me I do not know.
Thank you for new pictures. I already spoke, that you are a handsome man. Your new picture confirms my words. You really very charming and attractive a man and to look at you is very pleasantly.
My photographer as a rule Kristina. Usually we photograph each other.
But I am not a "photographer", but Kristina adore to photograph.
She hates when someone photographs her, and usually all pictures are taken only by her. She really has vision of the artist and photographer.
By the way Bryce, today I went to job being absolutely confident that your letter waits for me. Earlier I always went with thought that you probably yet have not written, but today for the first time I went with thought that your letter already waits for me. I went along the street with the smile on my face. I could not hide my smile. People that went past of me looked back and looked at me. Here already many employees know that I have found such a wonderful friend, and nobody is surprised that my friend lives in other country. Everybody only are glad. Nobody here is surprised if the woman searches for not Russian man. I think the cultural distinction is a wonderful thing. I don't understand Russian men and their culture of dialogue with woman. They are not able to appreciate woman's feelings, her fidelity, love. They do not appreciate sincerity and aspiration of woman to do for a man absolutely everything. The only thing she need - the warmth and caress, which she wants to get from a man. It is the problem of Russian men. Russian lady does everything for a man but doesn't get anything from him. All what she needs is at least a couple of tender words and gentle touching of his arms. Really it is so difficult?
Really it is difficult to present for your lady a romantic evening and a supper with candles? In Russia as a rule such gift give lady to man, but not man to lady. You say that I am beautiful. In Russia I am not considered like a beautiful lady. I am usual and simple woman with usual appearance. Russian men, practically all of them, usually show disrespect to ladies. They consider that woman only have to work, to cook, to wash cloths and entertain a man when he wants. For Russian man to offend a woman is a usual thing. I like to cook and to wash cloths but sometimes I would like to receive simple caress, love and attention. I don't want to offend all men. Of course there are good men in Russia, but there are few of them. Men very often say dirty words (not normative lexicon) when they talk with lady and consider that there is nothing bad in it. I want to tell you about my ex-boyfriend. I feel that you will understand me. I had boyfriend. We had good time together. He was kind. But he liked to drink.
When he got drunk he became an absolutely other person. He talked with me by bad and dirty words. The time passed and his love to alcohol became a habit. He became another person - rude and evil, even when did not drink.
He has found the big interest in beating of me. He began to beat me very often and cruelly. He often knocked me in my face by fist and even kicked me by foot when I already was on a floor. And every time when I being on a floor looked in to his eyes, and with tears in my eyes asked him - WHY? - he just responded that any man is a King and a place of any woman - under foot of a true man. But the next day he smiled and talked with me as if nothing had happened. In public he was very delicate, polite. All people considered that he is a true gentleman. But when he found oneself at home, everything was on the contrary. I very much was afraid of him and I have left him. My soul was wounded very much. After this I couldn't make myself get acquainted with another man. I don't trust Russian men. I am afraid to give my love, but back to get roughness instead of love. I have told to you about it because I want you to know that I open to you my soul. And I want you to know about my ex-relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I feel that I can tell to you about this because I feel that you have very kind heart. By the way, today Kristina leaves hospital! And though she will spend some more days at home, all the same it is much better than in hospital.
If you have disagreements with lady, can you apply roughness?
Are you able to transform quarrel into the peace, pleasure and a smile?
I hope my letter have not offended you in any way.
I have to finish. With all my kindness and tenderness.
How is your mood? I hope that up to my letter your mood was fine, but after my letter your mood became superfine (smile) Likely I am too self-confident. But I am happy again because I have again received your letter. I so waited for this minute,- when I can write to you.
Our friendship became the important part of my life, and I hope that in your life as well. Sometimes I understand that the thread that connects me with you now is not most strong. But I do not want this thread to be torn. Right now I sit and I smile simply because I am glad that again I can to share with you my thoughts. Sometimes I so want you to see my smile during the similar moment because I think it is the most sincere smile! But sometimes my smile leaves me because I know that now the only thing that connects us is our thoughts, that we send to each other,- thoughts, transformed into a letters that are not able to show all depth of thoughts. But at the same time I understand that nobody knows what waits for us in the future. I hope my words do not offend you and maybe you even think just as I...
Thanks for all your words. I am very glad that you have expressed to me your opinion. It is pleasant for me to realize that I have a friend - a true man. I really do not understand how people can be very angry if they love each other. I do not remember when at last time I became angry. I do not like to be angry and I do not like to quarrel. I know absolutely precisely that any disagreements can be solved with a smile on the face. I try never to raise a voice. To force me to cry easier than to make me mad. I like to conciliate people and when my friends in the quarrel, I always act as conciliator. When I am upset, it can be understood on my eyes. Kristina says that when I am upset, I have such sad eyes that after looking at me she wants to cry. Probably it is the truth because when I am upset, everyone notices it. I become silent and imperceptible. I as always talk with people, I smile, but all the same everyone see that something wrong with me. To carry quarrel into the bed or to leave problem on tomorrow 's day is wrong. I never would do that. I never can be in a disagreement more than several minutes.
I feel very much not comfortably if I am in a disagreement .
Therefore I always try to reconcile at once. If people love each other and respect feelings and interests of each other, I am sure that serious disagreements cannot be the case. I always take into account an opinion of other people; therefore I very seldom have disagreements with somebody. I respect any mind. And I am sure that any quarrel can be discussed simply in quiet conversation. It is enough to express your opinion and attentively and respectfully to listen to opinion of your beloved. And the decision will come. And what can be more pleasant than a soft kiss after a short disagreement? Really?
Tomorrow difficult day waits for me. Probably tomorrow I will work outside of clinic. We call it - "the ride working day".
Kristina also goes with us. She already is completely healthy and begins work.
It is difficult day. At this day several doctors and specialists of our clinic are going on the special medical bus to various remote small settlements, small villages in a thicket of the forest. These are poor villages which are located far away from the big cities and settlements. In these villages there are no doctors and clinics and people cannot visit clinic at any moment. In such villages there is always a lot of people who need the doctor but cannot reach clinic by self. Often it is a people who are not able to live without help of other people, - basically are small children or old and weak feeble people. We go in these villages on the bus with all necessary equipment. People in these villages love us and wait more than anything. But it is really the hard work if to take into account that we are going there at 6 am, and we come back sometimes even after 10 pm! But I will wait your letter because our friendship gives force to me, and our dialogue is a rest for my soul! My dear friend Bryce!
I have to go! Sincerely and with thoughts about you.
P.S. I have found some my old pictures when I was the child.
I do not remember, I spoke you that I enjoy fishing? I was child and I did not fishing, but I went with my father on fishing.
Hi my dear Bryce!
Today is a fine day. Already in the morning I knew that I today I will get an opportunity to write to you. And all the rest become unimportant for me. Today I really haven't opportunity to write much.
Please forgive me. But I have enough time to tell to you that I thought of you and waited when I will get opportunity to write you.
The ride working day was difficult day. We have passed many villages, I have come back home already in 10.30 PM. I so is tired, that I at once have lain in bed but before I have fallen asleep, I thought about you.
I very much like your pictures. I very much like to look at you. I enjoy.
And I have time to tell the main thing. I do not know why, but today I have woken up earlier than usually. I could not fall asleep again.
I simply sat near window and looked at the sky. Suddenly, a small birdie appeared on my window. It was very beautiful birdie. This birdie looked at me, and started to twitter. It was so unusually and beautifully. It was a beautiful song. I looked at this small birdie and thought, that you Bryce now somewhere far away; maybe you sleep and see me in your sleep-dream. And I so wanted you to see this small birdie and to hear her delightful song. And I have whispered: "Fly off, my little birdie, fly to my friend Bryce, and tell to him that one girl, that is so far away, thinks of him and sends to him this song. And at this moment the birdie has flinched and flew away as if this birdie has heard my words!
And I have thought, if today you Bryce will see a small birdie singing beautiful song, - be sure that it is my birdie I sent to you!
Forgive me, but I have to go. I want to send you my kiss if you do not mind.
P.S. I have a surprise for you. I hope you like my pictures?
I take these pictures specially for you.
Hi, my far, but dear friend Bryce.
I work today, but it is not bad, at least I can write to you today.
Many thanks for your letter. It was the long-awaited letter.
I am really madly glad to receive your letter. I am really glad that I have found you. I want to tell you today so much.
Thanks for the pictures. You are incredibly handsome and attractive a man.
I am sure that any woman get pleasure looking on you. I am not exception.
I only want to ask you to make your pictures small(size of 50-100 Kilobytes).
A picture that you sent is too big and we spent a half hour to download it!
You asked where I found you. I have written to you in Craigslist.org.
Today I wanted to say just the right things to you. I didn't want to offend or upset you in anyway, and it really bothered me that saying something wrong may do that. I always speak directly from my heart but sometimes, words must be chosen carefully. I feel somewhat lost when I have no opportunity to use a computer to read your letter. In my soul, I feel contentment and joy when I think of you. I have never done this in my life, (tried to initiate a relationship halfway across the world), but I am more than willing to learn whatever is need to succeed, if it is your desire as well. I also believe that couples should be the best friends, which trust and share with each other everything that they feel.
I don't know if my word and thoughts make sense to you; and for me so hard to put them in typed words that you will feel and understand. I believe in God, and I believe that I have been put through trials to be ready for meeting a man with whom I will spend the rest of my life in loving, to better value him, respect him and cherish the love that he would give me; only asking that I return the same. I hope that my words and letters are not boring to you, but they are much more than mere words, they are my thoughts and feelings, and I send them out to you. I wish to know you on the more intimate level, I would like you to share your true dreams, your hopes, your feelings of the heart with me, I truly wish to connect with you on a level that goes way beyond simply friendship. Please don't think that I am fool for thinking these things, I believe that to succeed in anything, you have to be honest, and that is what I am doing with you.
Could you seriously close your eyes for just a minute, and think and dream of what a life we could share, what it would be like,- the fun of learning each other. I really believe that dreams really come true for the people that dare to believe in dreams, because if they believe in them enough hard, dreams could become in reality. Here, where I was raised, the gift of true love from a man is something that is more similar to a Mirage or self-deception, rather than mutual feeling which two enamored people can give each other. I hope that I am not rambling on with my words.
I have so much that I wish to share with you, and each time I write to you, I feel there is never enough time to say everything that I want to say, and I always feel that I have forgotten something important that I wanted to share with you. Bryce, I want to tell that you are very beautiful for me. I mean the beauty that is within you, beauty of your internal world.
It is a type of beauty that is very special and rare. Most men have only appearances, but not have beauty inside, and this is where true beauty is.
This is what for me is the most important and significant in all limits of my character, my soul and my consciousness. I think that you are truly handsome, in the sence of what beauty should be. I want to reduce essence of my entire letter only to one thought. I don't know if I could clearly explain all my thoughts and feelings, which overflow me now, or not. I want to tell that I feel, we become very good friends and I really enjoy our friendship. I aspire to learn you more and I dare to hope that you suppose a thought that our relations can develop more than it enough for simple friendship. It's the way I feel. I'll look forward to your reply as always with anticipation and impatience....
With tenderness, Your Darja.
Hi Bryce! Your letter means so much for me. Thank you.
I so waited your letter and so wanted to find out what you will tell me.
Thanks for your words and thanks for your feelings. Your words have touched my heart and have penetrated into depth of my soul. Thanks for your sincerity and tenderness. And thank you for your feelings! I never thought that in the world there is a man who can make me feel like flower only by means of words. Thank you that you have brought spring into my heart!
I feel that we can be ideal couple! Forgive me that I am so straight, but I would tell lies if I would tell that I do not feel it. I can see us together in the future, and I am so happy when I think about it.
By the way my height - 5 feet 6 inches. My weight is 115 pounds.
Bryce, today I write to you with special worry but as well with pleasure and hope. I really hope that everything that I will tell you today will make you happy. Last time when I wrote you my honest letter I had the big sadness in my heart, and even though I tried to not show it, I think you have noticed it. Bryce, I was sad because the boss informed me that approximately in three weeks the accounting department will be closed for full re-equipment and repair. And when he have told me it, I thought my heart will stop, because when it will take place, I will not be able to communicate with you during several months! And it has brought infinite sadness into my heart. But after my boss informed me about close of accounting department, the accounting department informed me that approximately in three weeks I will get my vacation! When I thought that I can lose you for some months, inside my soul I at once have felt that I can't simply accept it. And I have felt that together with sadness in my heart has appeared an other feeling - feeling of confidence, desire to make new steps instead of simply waiting for something. I have understood that our relations are important for me much more than I thought. And it so wonderfully. I had no vacation for two years. And now I will have vacation. But a thoughts that I will not be able to communicate with you, to receive your letters and to write mine,- all these thoughts has brought a pain to me, pain that I can't endure. I talked with Kristina and she has asked me what I think to do.
And when she has asked me it, I have understood that inside my soul I already know the answer to this question. And I have told that I do not want to spend such a long-awaited vacation in loneliness. I can't accept a thought that I will not talk to you Bryce during of month or two. And I have told that I want to meet you Bryce! I have told her that I want to spend my vacation with you Bryce! I can come to you, and we can spend time together if you want. And first I was afraid that if I will tell you about it in the letter, you will write me that you do not want to see me or can not meet me. And it would hurt my heart. But Kristina have told, that you Bryce and I are such a good friends, our relations are built on sincerity, therefore Bryce will be happy to spend time with me. And I really think that it would be delightfully. So, what you will say, Bryce, if I will offer you a meeting? Would you be happy to see me and to spend with me several days? I cannot imagine at all how it would be wonderful.
You would show me your life, we would learn each other in a real life.
We would look into the eyes of each other, we could hold our hands, tell each other silly stories, laugh and tease each other, watch the stars in the night sky and have romantic evening, go to the movie or we could simply sit on a bench in the park, and who knows what else we could do together...
I would be happy to do all this together with you, instead of again be lonely without you and our friendship. I simply want to meet you.
I already knew and I have been told earlier, but I have found out again all I need to do to come to your country. I already have the passport. And I will avoid usual procedure of visa's approval. Being the doctor, I can ask the visa on behalf of our Ministry of Health, because if the applicant have good official support from official bodies, if the applicant have official recommendations and directions to various sorts of conference, seminars, - it will relieve of necessity to wait for some months the decision of the commission, and will remove all problems connected with necessity to prove that the purpose of travel is not emigration. Being the doctor I will have support and guarantees from Ministry of Health of Russian Federation, and it is certainly the best guarantor. Of course I must visit improbable quantity of the departments, to collect improbable quantity of documents, to find as many as possibly of other official legal persons, institutions and people for support; to get petitions. But if I will quickly collect all necessary documents, I will get the visa in one or two weeks! So I have filed an application for the visa, Bryce, with happiness and with hope that you will be happy to spend some days with me!
I do not ask you about anything. I will use my monetary savings and I will make everything by self. It is my vacation and I will not be a burden.
Would you be happy to spend some days with me soon, Bryce? Anyway, we must meet. It is possible to wait eternally. But I believe that I will get my vacation not accidentally; and I believe that the accounting department will be closed at the same time not accidentally as well. It is not coincidence!
It is time to make a choice, to make the decision, to take new step. Maybe such opportunity will not be repeated again. I so long waited my vacation and I want my vacation to be especial. What can be better than a meeting of two friends? The first meeting. It is simply delightful and I thank destiny that I have got such an opportunity,- an opportunity to meet my dear friend, the opportunity to learn each other in real life, the opportunity to enjoy time which we can spend together. And I believe that it can become the beginning of something new in our lifes and in our relations. And I am really happy to get a vacation because it is time which I can spend in any way I want, and I want to spend this vacation with you Bryce! So what will you tell?
Would you like to spend time with me? Would you be glad to meet me?
Would you be happy to have the first meeting at your airport?
I will wait for your answer with pleasure. Your sincere Darja.
Hi my Bryce!
I waited for your letter with fear and with pleasure at the same time!
And I am very happy to receive your letter! I am ready to jump and dance, laugh and sing songs! And the reason - you Bryce! Thank you for your letter and your thoughts.
I am so happy that we will meet. Now I have the ocean of emotions and I at all do not know what to say. I am worried very much. I very much hope that we can perfectly spend time together. I only am afraid, that if we will meet, I will asks so many questions and to chatter unceasingly, that you soon will escape from me. I get my vacation once a year. My vacation will begin approximately about September, 24.
At this time I can arrive to you. But unfortunately the schedule of my vacation is not flexible. Therefore I hope you will be glad to meet me at this time. If you have not enough time, I will be happy all the same. I will be happy in any case. It is better to wait when you will come from work, than to sit in my apartment and to know that nobody will come!!! Duration of my vacation is 24 workdays. But quantity of days which I can spent with you depends on when I will get my vacation and when I will order the ticket. How many days you want to be with me? I have submitted the visa application. It will take about one or two week I think. Complexity of approval of the visa will be reduced to a minimum as I will have petitions and characteristics from a work place, from respected organizations and legal persons; guarantee documents and a various sort of the information and inquiry, which will give to commissions the confidence, that my intentions is not emigration. I will get the petition and a testimonial from Ministry of Health of Russian Federation! It is a respected structure and any person working in the field of medicine is under care of the Ministry.
Except of that I will pay for preparation for interview with the commission.
Tell me the name and the code of the airport where you will meet me!
I will dream that you will hug and kiss me at the airport!!!
Every day I think - what my friend Bryce will tell me today, what mood he will have today? And as soon as I get free minute, I rush to accounting department to find out if you have written to me or not.
And when I receive your letter, I start to smile from ear to ear anticipating the best time of my day - time when I read your letter and when I write to you the all my thoughts. These are the most important minutes of my day. And these minutes I don't hear anything and I don't see anything except of lines and paragraphs which in my mind will be transformed into small movie, movie about you, my dear Bryce.
And you cannot imagine at all how it wonderfully! Sometimes I think, what would be if I have not found the boldness in myself to write you?
What would be if I didn't believe that I can find a man in such a way?
I always want to think that I the courageous woman, but I feel that actually it is not so. I am ready to give my life for the sake of person who are close and dear for me, I am ready to donate my well-being for the sake of well-being of other person but when I think of myself, I often become timid and all my boldness disperses like the fire's smoke.
I am often afraid to make something, to take some step simply because of fear that it will be an incorrect step. I am often afraid to ask people about anything simply because of fear to get the negative answer.
Not always, but it happens. What would happen, if you have not answered my first letter? Nothing would happen! And grey monotonous days again would lie on a way of my life by infinite impenetrable veil.
Do you want to know what I did today? First off, I should tell that I slept with a smile on my face! At least when I have woken up and have looked at the mirror, I have noticed that I smile! Then, I cleaned a teeth and I had smile! Then, I jog and I smiled as if actually I watched funny movie. Then, I have cooked a breakfast and drank a coffee with a smile on my face! Then, I have come to clinic, and I could not hide my smile.
I was ready to laugh and I at all had no desire to work! It is a very bad symptom for the doctor! (Smile). Everything around have seemed to me a beautiful and wonderful. And even the severe boss, when have seen that I look at him and I smile, he began to survey himself attentively and even have come near to the mirror to see if anything wrong! He has thought that something wrong with his clothes! All the day I work with smile on my face! Kristina looks at me and smiles as well. Of course she understands the reason, and it makes her happy as well! And when time of sleep will come, I will lie in my bed with the same smile on my face!
And if you till now have not understood why I smile, I will tell you!
I smile because I think of you, Bryce! And it brings joy!
I am so happy that I have in my life such a man as you! Thank you that you are in my life! I have to go. Now I will not have a lot of time after work because after work I will have one more working day! (Smile).
You may ask what I mean? The preparation for my trip! You cannot imagine at all how many deals I must do for our meeting! I even have asked the boss to reduce my working day or to allow me to take some hours off in the middle of day to make some things, because after 5 pm not all departments works! Of course now I should work in the days off to have more of free time at week-days. But thoughts about our meeting give me force and energy! I am sure that everything will be perfectly!
I will wait your letter! Please, write me because I need your letters and support more than ever! Your Darja!
Hi My Bryce!
Thank you for your letter. You became the most dazzling moment of my day!
How I wish you saw how Kristina is happy that we will meet! She is sure that our meeting will make us happy. It is simply impossible to talk to her now! (Smile). She has now only one theme for conversation - you Bryce!
She constantly asks about you, asks - what I will do together with you, she asks - what I will do at the airport, she asks - what I will cook for you. She asks how I am going to impress you, to intrigue! She even asks how I will tempt you! (Smile). She say that I do everything correctly and I should not be afraid of anything at all. To conquer the road can only one who goes on this road. Kristina is very glad that I have found you, and she sends you her friendly greetings and a wishes of happy expectation of me! (Smile).
Thanks for the information of the airport, it will help me.
Yes, I have written in a paper your phone number, do not worry.
When I will have an opportunity to call you, I will call you.
I think after out meeting, we would together understand if those things which you have written in last letter are important or not! It is possible to answer those questions only if we will be face to face. Without a meeting we will not find out if we are created for each other or not. Without a meeting we will not find out if ours cultural distinctions are obstacle or on the contrary - a thing recovering life and bringing into a life a variety and aspiration to learn each other in all beauty of our various cultures!
I am this time obliged to come back to Russia. I receive the visa from Health Ministry and and assure the commission that my interests is not emigration. Of course I can remain with you and not come back to Russia but when the visa expires me simply deport and I more never can receive the visa in your country. Certainly after my visiting I am obliged to return to Russia but we will see what feelings we have!
Bryce, please, don't be angry with me if I cannot write you much now.
I hope you understand that I even after my working day in clinic must do too much for our meeting. Today I will go to Ministry of Health. I think this is one of the most important deals for me right now. Today I will give them the all my medical documents and tomorrow I will probably get all documents and forms of petitions which I must fill out as soon as possible.
Then I will go to Army Garrison where were working my parents. They must collect for me all the information about my parents, about history of the death of my father and mother. I must have data about work of my parents not only in this Army Garrison, but also in all others Garrisons where my parents worked during all life. To make it extremely difficultly, if to take into account that my parents worked in Army Garrisons in various points of our huge country. But I am sure that I will get the information because here many officers who remember my father, and I hope they will be glad to help me. Bryce, today I feel that I start to worry more than I even could imagine. I am very glad that I do all this. And I think of our meeting every minute. The meeting at the airport...
I don't think that many people on our planet have an opportunity to enjoy such a delightful moment - the moment of the first meeting at the airport.
It is so beautiful. I feel that it will be very touching moment for each of us. I never travelled so far away. And I worry very much.
But I imagine us together and it calms me down. I see us together, I see us walking in the park; I see us speaking about serious and about silly things, or playing cards or a checkers (and the one who lose will execute any desire of the winner (smile)), I see wonderful dinners at home and outside!
I see you sitting on a sofa with a juicy peach in your hand and I see me dancing in front of you beautiful dance, or maybe even erotic dance (smile), how about Belly dance? (Smile). I do it stunningly!(Smile).
I see us swimming; I see us on a roof of a house, watching the full moon; I see us fighting by pillows; I see us in the evening at home, with romantic light of candles; I see us cooking together Russian pelmenies and pizza (smile); I see me in your embraces. All this waits for us in the near future; and I enjoy, anticipating this delightful time together!
Do you feel the same, Bryce? Bryce, would you like to give me massage of my back? I would like to give you massage! But I must warn you, that if you want to give me massage, you should not touch my ribs!(Smile)
The reason - I the most ticklish woman in Russia(smile). Bryce, I madly am afraid of titillation! If someone tickles my foot or ribs, I begin to laugh loudly, to kick and to scratch, to squeal and to jump!
Therefore if you will give me massage and you will tickle me, you will feel like a cowboy on a wild undomesticated mare on the rodeo! (Smile).
By the way, Bryce, are you ticklish? Do you snore? (Forgive me for this question. Do not answer, if you do not want. Maybe one day I will find out all this all the same! (Smile). Will you sing serenades for me?
I would be happy if you would sing serenades and songs for me! I would remunerate you by kisses! (Smile). Bryce, I should finish the letter.
I must do much so that you had an opportunity to give me massage and to get the massage from me! (Smile). Please, write me because now I need you and your letters very very strongly, because I worry so much...
Hi my dear Bryce!
Thank you for your letter! Every morning I wake up with a pleasant thought of our meeting! And each new day reduces distance between us!
Every new day makes us closer to each other. I so hope that we will meet.
Bryce, I the doctor, but I cannot think of anything except of our meeting!(Smile). Even my patients have noticed it! I think it is good that I the doctor of gynecologist because if I would be for example the dentist and would think only of you instead of work, my patients would run out from my cabinet with horror in the expanded eyes! (Smile).
I feel your love in each your word. I feel your love in each your thought! Your heart and your internal world are open for me and I enjoy your internal world. Your love is the purest love and nobody ever loved me as you do! I feel that we are couple because I adore each your word, I adore each your thought, I like to hear such a words, I like when a man is so open, I like when a man talks about his feelings, you manipulate my heart, you hypnotize me by your love and I fall in love with you more and more! My heart has accepted your love and I want to be with you every minute of your life, and I want you to be near to me every minute of my life. My heart belongs to you. My reason is filled with you. You are my heart, and your love is my blood! And while my heart beat, while my blood flows in my veins, I will protect your love and I will be dedicated to my feelings once and FOR EVER!!!!!
Bryce, Kristina say that last time she saw me such a happy many years back - when I was the student girl! She asserts that you have changed me absolutely! I began often to get my hairbrush and to correct my hairstyle!
(Smile). I began often to sing songs aloud! (Smile). I began often to immerse into the world of fantasies so, that sometimes I at all don't hear someone talks to me or asks me about something! (Smile). It is so amusingly, pleasantly and unusually! She is very grateful to you and very glad that we will meet! She helps me by all possible ways. Bryce, do you remember in my very first small letter I have told that I want to find a man who will compel my soul to blossom? I want to tell you, that my soul blossoms! You have brought a spring into my soul and now I feel like a flower blossoming under long-awaited beams of the warm sun!
Thank you Bryce! Bryce, you cannot imagine what tense time I have now.
I actually haven't even one free minute. I already was in Ministry of Health and I got all petitions! It is great! In the Ministry I have been told that I must visit all patients which I visit on a "Trip Day"- they must fill up forms of petitions for me. Of course they will be happy to do it. These people love me and all doctors who visits them! It will be a big support for me. The Ministry will make the report about my work in the difficult places where not each person is ready to work. I also will get the report and the characteristic from my clinic. Tomorrow I and Kristina will have our own "Trip Day"! We will go together to those settlements. Probably we will go there not only tomorrow but also the day after tomorrow because the one day is not enough to visit all people who knows me. After that I must legalize all documents at the notary. Kristina will help me to get the full report about my biography in Municipal Department. If Kristina will be able to agree with them, they will get for me the information about me and my family from all Municipal Departments of those regions where I and my parents lived during all life. By self we would never get all this information. I get tired very much not only spiritually, but physically as well. And when I come home, I simply fall onto a bed, and I simply lie on a bed some time looking at a ceiling. But if we will do everything quickly, I will have interview with the commission.
After this interview the commission will inform me if my visa is approved or not. Tomorrow I will have also consultation - preparation for interview.
It is very important point for me as well! Maybe I worry too much, but I cannot calm myself! Forgive me that I write to you about my cares.
But I really worry. I knew that I must do much for our meeting, but I at all could not assume that I will worry. Kristina says that if she would be on my place, she would become confused and simply would not know what to do. She says that she envies my endurance and the power of will.
I never told her,- but actually I often feel fear, I often feel like weak woman. I really need moral support. I since the childhood make all decisions by self, and my parents taught me never to show weakness or confusion.
And I always tried to do without anybody's help or advice, even though in my heart I often feel like very weak woman. Bryce, are you the leader in relationship with woman? Do you like to make the decision by self?
Hi my Bryce!
Thank you for your letter. I am so happy. Thoughts about you calm my heart. You don't know how all your words are important for me. I know what emotion you write me with, and your emotions caress my heart. And I know hundreds of words, that could help me to tell you how you are important, dear and wonderful for me. And I so wait for that a moment when I will be able to tell you these all words, at the same time looking into your eyes. I so wait for that a moment when I will see your smile and I will read in your smile all your thoughts. And now my heart enjoys fine feeling - feelings of waiting and hope that soon our meeting will come true. And sometimes it is simply impossible by means of only words to express all shades of joy. Any words cannot replace a glance and a smile, any words are not able to replace tenderness of touch.
Thanks for your answer to my question! I knew that you will answer so!
I am glad and happy to know that you are a wise man! Most of all I like when a man asks my council or my opinion, attentively listens, considers, "weighs all plus and minus" and Itself makes a decision.
But there is the only one place, where your leadership could be disputable - the kitchen!!! (Smile). I always was a leader in kitchen!!! (Smile).
Bryce, I so waited for this opportunity to write you, because I wanted very much to tell you that today has happened something bad, and this time it is not a joke unfortunately. Maybe I shouldn't tell you, but I was so frightened, that I cannot hold it inside.
Today at night when I slept, I have suddenly heard a terrible sound of a breaking glass! I at once have woken up but I could not understand anything absolutely. And at this moment, right into my room has flown a brick; and having broken the window-glass, this brick has fallen in several centimeters from me. I so strongly was frightened, I could understand nothing and simply instinctively I have rushed onto a floor and have hidden under my bed. And at this moment other stones has flown into my room, breaking windows and glasses in my apartment.
I shouted and cried. I at all did not know what to do. Stones could not strike me because my bed protected me. But I have been frightened so, that I simply has closed my ears by my hands and cried. In absolute darkness several stones broke windows and fell near to me. Then everything has stopped. But I continued to lay and cry. I was afraid even to look out from under a bed. We haven't here even police and phones. Never in my life I was so frightened. After some time I nevertheless have risen from under a bed. I have looked thru the broken window but of course I haven't seen there anybody.
I do not understand who did it and why. And not only in my house, but in some other houses as well. But I could not fall asleep this night anymore. I do not know who did it. Kristina say that probably it was young addicts who simply had a fun, because if someone would really want to cause to us physical harm, they could simply enter our apartments. But I really don't understand why someone did it.
Now I am ok, Bryce! I do not want to finish my letter with bad thoughts.
And I will tell you something good! If you would see how I worry. But I waited for this news for a long time. And I cannot imagine at all how I will worry the following some days! Anyhow, today I finally got the invitation! I will have the interview with the commission! It is the most important point for me. I prepared to this for a long time.
After I will have interview I will find out the final decision!
The commission will inform me their decision, and then you and I will know if we will meet or not. I don't want to say "IF", but it is really a very difficult and tense moment. And I am simply not sure if I will have confidence and self-control. But I have to calm down myself.
My worry - our enemy. I think I am ready. I feel that I can do and tell everything correctly, and we will meet! You should be with me in your thoughts. Without you I so am afraid! I have almost all documents which should impress the commission. I hope that everything what I have made will help us. Please, tell me that you believe in it. Be with me in your thoughts. I hope nothing bad will happen to me anymore. And I am happy that Kristina and I didn't get any traumas today. I cannot imagine at all what would be in this case. But I am ok, and it is most important. I will think of you, so please, think of me as well.
With all my tenderness. Your Darja.