Letter(s) from Elizaveta Filina to Johnny (Germany)

Letter 1

Hello there! How are you? I'm glad that I met you on a dating site and get your responce this evening! I deleted my profile, because i don't like dating sites:) or probably I do something wrong. And I should admit that I feel uncertainty :) But I nevertheless hope that your heart is open for new friends, and I know that right now I must write at least the most important things about myself. Well, You know, my name is Elizaveta. My height is 169cm (I think it is 5,7 feet). Did you think I am low? Or not))) My weight, if I'm not mistaken - 118 pounds. I'm 28. My birthday is March,15 I was in relationship for 2 years. I have no kids and at present live alone by myself, that means no boyfriend, what is about you? Now I live in the Russian Federation. But I lived in the Usa Nevada the city of Reno for some time.
I trained and worked in a ophthalmic area. I am a ophthalmologist.
If it is interesting to you, I shall speak more about it. I aware that Russia maybe too far away from you, but I think it will not be a barrier.
And probably soon I shall travel again. Now I live in a little town in a central part of Russia, the city of Ostrov, Pskovsky region.
mmm... yes I like to travel.I visited different countries.
I shall speak about it later. I think it's great to have some friends who live in the other parts of the world. Do you agree with me?
And I sincerely think that for friendship there are no borders or distances. But enough about it. I feel that I should finish my letter because I even don't know if you are still interested in a dialogue with me or not. I hope you do. But if you have no desire to talk to me anymore, please, at least, write me about it.
I want to ask you some questions. :). Simply I would be glad to know Where you live? where do you work, and do you like your work?
And, in general, what are your interests? It's a banal questions certainly :)
but i would like to know more about you. And by the way, I will be glad to have more your pictures! Therefore do not hesitate :) I will write you the day after tomorrow if everything is alright! Hope to see your letter soon !
best regards!
Elizaveta

Letter 2

Hi !!! It's me Elizaveta.
The first thing, I want to do is to say "thank you" for your fast answer!!! :)
It means that your heart is open for new friends:) I think it's Great, because friendship brightens people's life and refreshes souls, doesn't it? That is why I was so glad to see your letter. I am happy to have received the message from the dating site, with your email address from your profile, and have decided to write a letter to you, and I wasn't mistaken. Ok, Probably you have already noticed that I'm not able to keep my emotions inside. :) Of course I am talking about joy, about good mood, about all good and positive things that can be in my soul. I always try to share my joy with other people.
I never try to show people that I am grieved or I have some problems.
Therefore all people who I work with and communicate are sure that everything in my life is perfect, that I am a happy woman, that I have no disappointments. But unfortunately it is not always true, because when a person is lonely, nothing can cure sadness. And if you ever felt the same, of course you understand what I am speaking about.
Well, I must tell that I try to write in English as good as possible (within my knowledge). I hope you understand all what I write:)
I have been already studying English for more than 10 years, but I understand that my English is not quite correct. Therefore I apologize for my mistakes :).
At school I wanted to be a traveler or singer and even finished a musical school. But I sing songs during my life just for myself and do it quite good :) and I play the guitar. do you play any musical instruments or sing? :) When I finished school I realized that I want to work in a medical field. And after school I entered The Kazan State Medical University (the Ophthalmic faculty).
After 7 years of studying there I received an excellent diploma on "Ophthalmology".An excellent diploma is called red in our country.
The red diploma is the highest mark at graduating from the university in our country. I have been working as a Ophthalmologist for 4 years, I like my job in spite of the fact I have to work a lot. Also I have interesting seminar trips to many places. I go there to get my work experience. Once I was offered a training course in Canada, and I agreed. It was a good chance for me to see the world. During the courses in Canada I studied English.
Then I decided to work in English speaking countries. It's a good experience for me. Also it's very interesting.
After finishing the training courses in Canada I was offered the job in the USA in Nevada. I accepted it with great pleasure.
But half a year ago I returned to Russia. It was necessary to settle some questions. And Now I work in a local clinic in our town. Can you tell me how you chose your job?
Well, what you are looking for in a woman ? Probably you have many female friends in the Internet. :) ..mmm.. What else to tell you about myself as I have little time.. By the way, I use the computer in the laboratory and work from Monday till Friday. But sometimes on Saturday and Sunday.
Therefore, maybe I will be able to write letters at weekends, if you want :)
This computer is located in the medical analyses room.
Well, now this computer will be used for my dialogue with ! :)
I think you understood, I'm still single and I have no children. I wanted as well to learn more about your family .I miss my parents too much...
Now I have to go back to work and hope to see you soon.
Have a nice day !
Best regards.
Elizaveta.

PS. I sent you more pictures. Hope you like it.

Letter 3

Hi from Russia again Johnny!
I Hope you were feeling good when you got this message from me. How are you doing today? I hope you're great.
Today the weather is very rainy here in my country.
In fact I like autumn!. What about you Johnny? Autumn is a very beautiful season here.The trees are colourful, they are yellow, red, brown. The nature is bright.
Everything is fresh but sometimes it is very wet. It is raining cats and dogs.
Strong wind is blowing. Heavy clouds are floating in the sky.
I would like to know what month is the best there in your place?
I would like to know more about your place. It's very interesting for me.
I explained you Johnny the location of my town in previous letter.
Here we have a park. There are a lot of trees all over the streets and it is very nice here especially in warm seasons of the year.
We have a lot of forests around the town. There are a lot of rivers and lakes here in our region and sometimes my friends and I go for picnics or camping all over the region. Also you can find a cinema, libraries and monuments to famous writers here in the town. There is a little orthodox church.
I want to let you know that I am an orthodox christian. My mom Was a christian and she baptised me too. I believe in God, and think that the main thing in religion is to live with faith in your soul and it is not necessary to go to church very often. Much more important thing is to believe sincerely deep inside your heart and soul. Do You agree with me? What about your Faith?
Also about my family, it was always important for me. I think many people don't understand completely that family is a big treasure. Many people realise the value of a family only when loose it. I always loved my parents and now I miss them very much. My both parents passed away. Daddy died when I was a small child. He was killed in a military conflict.
Mom died when I was 17 years old. After daddy's death she was always sick and spent a lot of time in hospitals. That was why I being a little girl was able to do everything by myself, I cooked meals, sewed clothes to help my brother. I had to study and work in the evening to support us. It was a hard time but it just made me stronger.
And I hope I became the very person, lady that my parents wanted me to become.
I think that those pleasures and griefs, successes and difficulties that were in my life made me who I am now. Now it seems to me that I was saying to my mom about my love too seldom, and now I so regret about it.
Johnny forgive me that I write about it. It is my life and it is a part of me. Simply I want you to learn me more, because I as well would be glad to learn more about you. Yes I have a brother. My brother's name is Oleg.
You can see him in the picture I am going to attach to this letter.
He is a policeman. Oleg is 31 years old, he has been married for 5 years and he has a daughter - Yana, His wife is very nice, her name is Katya, we are very amicable, Also we have a grandmother, she is 83 years old, her name is Victoriya, She lives in the city, about 80 miles from us. I like to visit her somedays.
Johnny in the future I hope that we'll exchange telephone numbers of each other. To hear a voice of each of us. But at first we should find out each other a little bit more. As I consider that telephone conversation will be more serious contact to the man. Therefore I should find out you better before giving you my telephone number. I hope that's not bad for you. Unfortunately I have some bad experience, but I do not want to speak about it. You should understand me. As it's just a question of some time. Ok?
As for the question about the ability to use social nets for example Skype, facebook or Yahoo Messenger. Unfortunately it is impossible for me to use them because I do not have a computer at home and use one at work. And at work we are not allowed to use social nets for communication.I hope you understand me.
Well, I should go home now. I promised to cook supper for my brother :)
Potatoes, meat, vegetables... He wanna me to cook for him, he says Katya does not cook so tasty as I do :) When I asked him what he will do if I am far ? :) "I will die hungry" :))))))))
Oh my brother is allways hungry, he likes when I bake pies very much. He likes to visit me so much. I live not very far from them - about 2 districts away. I will wait for your next letter with impatience. Have a nice day Johnny!
Elizaveta.

Letter 4

Hello my dear friend Johnny!
I hope I can call you my friend I hope you are not against, and I will be glad to be your friend too. If not just tell me:) What's the weather like outside in your place?
Today it is sunny and very fresh but it is getting colder and colder.
Nevertheless I like when the sky is clear and the sun is shining brightly.
Ok, enough about it :) But all those words were true. :) I think there are many other things about me that I must tell you. In general,speaking about me.
I have various interests. I like sports, especially bicycle, swimming!
So it is important for me to keep fit. I like domestic plants very much.
At home I grow plants and flowers. I have a lot of them. My friends is always joking about this. They say in the nearest future there won't be place for me in my apartment because my favourite plants are everywhere. It took me 3 hours to water them, I always speak to them, sing and smile and they grow better.
Do you like flowers and plants? Do you have them at home? Of course I adore cooking like the most part of Russian women. But I don't do it very often only at weekends for my friends and my brother's family.
I am interested in the process of cooking but don't like eating it myself though I cook pretty well.I like cooking for somebody!!!!!!!!! I would love to cook for you and watch you eating. Do you like cooking???????????
I absolutely love reading, I like to listen to music, play the piano.
I like different books. When I read books I turn into the main character and live his life.Only when the book is read I come back to real life.
Maybe it is so because of my imagination which works well.
Johnny It is my first time I try to correspondence with man in Internet world. The thing is that I plan work abroad for six months or more and I would like to meet a nice man to be my guide or just be good friend to spend time with. I think that it is hard enough to live in a foreign town without friends. I am from a small town here in Russia, I don't want to be alone over there without any relatives or friends! I want to see the real life over there and maybe you will be able to tell me more about your culture and life over there and give me some information in general! You know, life in Russia is rather difficult, especially in small towns. I don't want to live in Russia because I have not any chances here . There are no perspectives, it is hardly possible to explain but I want you to know my plans.I will be allowed to work abroad!
I’m a hardworking lady!
I have an international certificate (diploma), and I want to work hard and change my life! You see that maybe I'm too naive but I still believe in miracles to come! I decided to find a friend and make his city to be my destination. I think it is great chance to change my life.
I am full of plans and dreams!
I had a boyfriend in Russia. But I got only roughness and disrespect.
Before my traveling to the USA I gave up our relations because I could not stand it any longer. Well let me stop speaking about him now as he does not deserve to be spoken about!!!! Now I want to meet a man with a kind heart; a man who will respect a lady.I want my man to be reliable, polite. And I am afraid of man's roughness very much, I think that true force of a man is in his heart. A man should win love and tenderness of a woman by beauty of his heart, but not by force of a body. Not only a pen pal but my soulmate, able to share my life with.
And all my dreams are about it:)
Do you feel the same Johnny? What do you think about this in whole?
I am ready to continue to write letters to you forever and ever :)
Now it is my favorite occupation, and it is difficult for me to stop, but I should start working... I will wait for your letter!
Write to me soon!
Elizaveta.

Letter 5

Hi, my dear friend Johnny! Thank you for your letter.
Johnny today was really a good day, and right now I am sitting, writing this letter and smiling:)
And I hope that right now you are reading my letter, and you are smiling too. :)
My mood has become better again when I got your letter. I should say when I am in a good mood my work seems more easy and I'm not so tired.
By the way when I came to work today my mood was not so good because my friend Maria had fallen ill and now she is in hospital. I asked a doctor and he answered that my friend will stay in hospital for about one week because she had problems with appendicitis. It's not a very good case.
I will try to visit her as often as I can. I think that to stay in hospital alone without any familiar faces is very sad and therefore I will try to adorn her loneliness by my presence. When people are ill we visit them very often as we can. I think it helps them recover faster. I think it's a good support for them. Do you agree with me? Please let me know what you do when someone of your relatives or friends is ill and stay in hospital. Do you do the same things? As a matter of fact I have only two real friends - Amanda and Maria the lady who is in hospital. They are also not married but have boyfriends. We have been friends for almost 20 years. We went to the same kindergarten and we lived in neighbor houses a lot of time but now we live in different districts. But it's not a problem for us and we can meet each other almost any time. We work together with Amanda.
I remember we liked to go to my grandmother. There are very beautiful places.
The air is very fresh and clean, it is a very silent place and there is beautiful nature. In summer we visit my grandmother during my vacation or weekends. We always go to the river to swim. I am a fine swimmer! And if we swam together with you, you would have a big problem if you tried to catch me in the water, and in winter we go skiing and skating. In summer we go to the forest to gather mushrooms and berries. In Russia it is very popular. Once upon a time we even lost the way and found road already almost at night. We had to climb a high tree just to look where to go. We were afraid but now we remember it like a funny case.
Have you ever gone to the forest to pick mushrooms and berries, I wonder?
Of course I dont just have fun in the villige, I always help my grandmother with her garden. Every year she grows vegetables - potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, cabbage, garlic and onions, berries. This is my mother's mother:) My grandfather took part in the World War Second and got some wounds there. He took part in the famous battle for Moscow where the fascists were stopped and couldn't seizure Moscow. He had a lot of awards.
He remained alive till the victory and even reached Berlin, but he died in 1980 because of the old wounds. Our grandmother always gives us all necessary vegetables and that’s why we do not buy vegetables in the market at all! Now I visit my grandmother more seldom than when I was a student, because of my work. But nevertheless I try to do it as friequent as possible. My soul rests in the village. And I am not sure even what I like more - a small place near the forest and the river, silence, singing of birds behind the window or a big city with cinemas, museums, beautiful houses and shops, with attractions, but with cars' roar and noice of people's crowd and to add to all these with criminal. Unfortunately criminal rate in Russia is on a very high level. But I don't want to speak about sad things. By the way today when I come to Maria we will speak about you.
I have told to my friends that i met you. Yes, my friends know that I am talking to you, and they start asking a lot of questions! :). But if to take into account that with one of them I work together in clinic, to avoid interrogation about my new friend is more and more difficult! :)
I wanted to ask you what makes you happy Johnny? What do you like more, a big city or a small village? Plaese, write me as you can.
Johnny I have to go. But I will wait for your letter and your pics!
I send you my pictures! I hope you'll like them. I hope you can find me in my pictures. If is not, I will help :) And I hope you will write me soon.
And then I will have again a smile on my face.
Your friend Elizaveta.

P.S. I hope that right now you have a smile on your face .
I want you to smile, smile, smile, smile

Letter 6

Hi Johnny! How are you doing my friend ?
I want to let you know about my friend Maria.
As it cleared up her appendicitis got inflamed, now she is fine and after about a week she will be better! So it is not necessary to worry much about her! I saw her today during my lunch break! My mood became better and I let myself relax mentally! May be today after work I will go home on foot. I like to walk along the street and to breathe in fresh air, especially when the weather is fresh as it is today. As a matter of fact I don't want to go home. It is very boring and lonely at home.
Sometimes I don't mention it, but sometimes when I come home in a good mood, I want to talk very much, to share thoughts with somebody, have fun.
But my flat is empty and I have to be in absolute solitude. And my good mood disappears. I just sit in an arm-chair and look at the window.
And when the silence deafens me when I hear as my blood flows in my veins, I hear movement of my eyelashes, that moment becomes unbearable and my heart compresses. I don't know how to struggle with it. I can listen to music or read a book. But in some moments I understand that I just deceive myself. In fact I want a person to be near me, with whom I could spend evenings, wake up in the morning, speak about yesterday and dream about tomorrow. I don't want to cook meals only for myself.
I want somebody to taste it. But it's enough about it.
I often remember childhood especially previous days. I dreamt in the childhood and I dream now. Of course, the world of dreams is an illusive world.
But we live in a real life, Practically dreams do not always realize.
It happens that you use all power, all aspiration to make the dream come true. But as much you try, not all in this life depends on us. When the dream for a long time does not come true, as though you did not try, dream ceases to be that star, which was for you lighthouse in the ocean of the life, which illuminated your way. But anyway, I think that it is impossible to live without dreams and hopes. When there is a dream, the life is filled with sense. The dreams are those things that do us people that distinguishes us from the whole rest of alive world. The dreams force to think, analyze, choose and come to conclusions. The Faith and Hope - eternal friends of our lives. And regardless of what waits you at the end, joy of the victories and subordinated tops we remember better, than disappointment and pain of the defeats. Do you agree with me Johnny? I am surprised that I write you all this. I haven't had the person, with whom I could share my thoughts.
But now I have found you, and I am very glad. Forgive me for my frankness.
If I said something that bothers you-forgive me please.
Johnny I want to hear your voice. We have phones but because of much industry objects located near our town almost all phone are inner, i.e. people can call just all over our town and a couple of the nearest villages which phone numbers have the same beginning digits.
I brought my mobile from the USA but it does not work here in our country :(
But I think that soon I shall get a new phone and I shall inform to you the number.
I have spoken with the mail center in our town and they told me that I could communicate with you just from the communication center. You can tell me your phone number more precisely and I could call you one day!
I hope you will understand these things in Russia and will not be angry with me because of it. I still can use email to correspond with you my dear Johnny! :)
But now I should return to patients...
I will wait for your letter with impatience.
Have a good day!
Your friend Elizaveta

Letter 7

Hi Johnny! I waited to receive your email today, and when I got your letter, it was the best time.
I was working with lots of stress today. I took a break and I was informed that you had written. I forgot all my worries with work.
So, I'm glad to be here Johnny!
Oh Johnny now the main moment of my day is expectations which eventually change to sincere joy because my friend Johnny has written me his letter!
Each time I have a feeling of worry - "What if Johnny will not write me today?" But when I receive your letter, everything becomes simply excellent, the smile does not leave my face and almost nobody can overpersuade me that this day is a good day! I hope your day as well is filled with pleasure and nothing will sadden your mood!? It is really wonderful, when in the life new aspiration appears, new purpose, don't you agree? Without it life would lose any sense. Dreams and the purposes force people to rise onto mountain tops or to dive to oceans bottom, to conquer the North Pole or to land the Moon, to build a family and to win the Olympic Games. And when your dream purpose comes true, you have tears of sincere joy on your eyes, and it is much more important than many things in our life. And you will always remember these tears of joy, because these tears will tell you that you really lived, dreamed, aspired and struggled. Johnny What sort of life are you looking for now? I have noticed, that I often start to ask myself these questions. 28 years old is not a lot, but it is not a young age.
I often begin to think of what I have done in my life, what purposes I have reached, what mistakes I've made. I start to think of the future more often, I began to estimate my past. Probably this age - time to look back and to draw the certain conclusions, time to think and analyze a life, time to put new purposes and tasks. I begin to understand that I will hardly be able ever to touch amazing stars, I understand that many things in the life are not so simple as I thought; I understand that great deal in my life will be otherwise than I thought. It is the time of reassessment of values.
And probably it is high time to dream about simple human happiness.
Do you agree with me?
Johnny now, I should return to my work((
Write me soon,
Your Elizaveta.

Letter 8

Hi, my Johnny! My dear, excuse, for a delay of the answer! I even do not know what to tell first. I simply hope that you will be happy! The most important, finest news - I did it! I got the visa! I am very happy Johnny!!!!
My prince I have not stopped on it and later we with my girlfriend at whom I have stopped in Moscow have gone to office of this airline, company that reserves airway tickets. I asked them how I can reach Dusseldorf and how much it costs. They've told me that the roundtrip flight to your airport cost 1187 US dollars. It was too expensive for me and I've asked them to find the cheapest variant. And they've offered. It would be on the November 26 I have learned, that cost of tickets up to in one party will make 385 dollars, I was wondered if it was possible to reserve a ticket and to pay for it a part of the funds this time and the other part later, because other people can buy the cheap ticket and I'm not. But they've refused and I was in despair! I've asked them to help me so long time that tears have come to my eyes! And they've agreed! I have learned, that now return tickets are necessary for the proof of that I independently can return to Russia.
But there is an opportunity to change return the ticket on money in your country, or to change date. To me have told, that if will take return tickets the discount at a rate of 5% is given, it turns out that 385+385=770 dollars and will subtract 5% these are that will make 770 dollars, but still it is necessary to add to this sum of 10% from cost for registration of tickets and meal, it will turn out 832 dollars,
6:45 am Depart Moscow (SVO)
Arrive (DUS) Dusseldorf International Airport 10:40 am November 26
I will give you my flight number information, as soon as i have it in my hand. The dollar exchange rate has fallen in our country and it is the cheapest tickets of an economic class, is cheaper a way to arrive to you I is not present. It was the best variant for me. They have told that I can pay a part of money now, and the other part later. it is possible, but I will be limited by term. And if I will not pay the full cost of the ticket within of this term, I will lose already nested money. I have agreed because it is the only chance for me, because I must give to anti-emigration committee a data about my payment. By this moment I had only the concrete sum of money which I had after all my expenses. I paid 550 USD. But it was not enough for them. In a panic, all what and I could do - I pawned my gold earrings and rings In a pawnshop and I got 178 USD. That is all I could do.
I know that probably I simply must tell that I can't come to you because I haven't the remaining sum. I know that I promised to do all by self, and I was sure that I can. I did not want to ask you. But after I did everything I did, I cannot simply tell that I will not come to you. I have passed through so many difficulties, and I have overcome the most difficult.
But all the same I have disgusting feeling that I could not fulfill the promise.
I am always ready to do all what is possible,- to fulfill my promises, but at the same time I understand that any person could get in such a situation.
To get the visa and all papers I have spent much more money than I expected.
But people were ready to help me only if I will pay them. I paid more than 500 dollars to get all documents, I paid in municipal committee, in the ministry. Even officers in army garrison have compelled me to pay for their help. I did not expect all this, but up to the last moment I was sure that I still can make everything. I expected that I can get a vacation payment. But I have received only a part. We get other part a vacation payment in three weeks. Besides, I have been compelled to buy new windows for my apartment. But I cannot leave my apartment with broken windows. And of course I have been compelled to pay much for it. I feel so guilty. I was sure that nothing can prevent our meeting. But I must pay remaining sum. It is 281usd (187euro). And I must pay funds before November 25, morning. Otherwise I will lose my nested funds and our jewelry will be sold out simply in vain. I know that I should not ask you, and I am very ashamed to do it. And maybe I really simply had to tell you that I can't meet with you because I could not provide my travel completely.
But I cannot simply refuse our meeting because then all my diligence, forces, nerves, means will be spent in vain. I understand that it is big sum to lend me. You are not obliged to help me. And 500 dollars which I have spent to get the visa, and 550 $ that I have given for the ticket also I restored a windows in an apartment before departure. It all are huge funds for me. But I want you to know that I have given everything not for the sake of myself, but for the sake of us, for the sake of you and me. And I was happy all this time. If you want to meet me, to help me to make our meeting, please, transfer funds to the help before November 25, morning.
I do not know if you want to help me or already not.
But i think you have told that I should let you know if there is anything you can do to help me. I believe you even though I am afraid to ask. But I have no other exit. I need you Johnny. If you can help me I will tell you what I have found out. Here we have a remittance system.
And I have addressed to the most convenient bank. I have been told that they use the systems "WesternUnion" and "MoneyGram". They have told that they are the American systems. And there I can receive your help very fast and it will be absolutely safe. Johnny if you will use WesternUnion please transfer funds for the name of my friend here - Karina Garyaeva who has the Moscow registration because, here, in Moscow, there are certain rules.
And I cannot receive funds personally because, I have no the Moscow registration.
For an example, near there is an office: Moscow AK BARS Bank; The Barklaya st, 10 a; Moscow, 121096 Russia. Or for my name - Elizaveta Philina if you will use MoneyGram, they allow to select funds without the Moscow registration. For an example, near there is an office of "MoneyGram"-Sberbank;Krasnopresnenskaya Naberezhnaya 2-1.Moscow 103274 Russia.
I send you the view of my ID document. If the additional data will be necessary for you. There I have been told, that to get the money, we must tell to employee of bank(agent) your full name, your full address, exact sum which I should receive and some confidential numbers - Reference Number.
You will get this number in your office if you will send your help.
Only with presence of all this information I can get your help. Also hey have told that funds it is possible to send online through a site WesternUnion.com And I will give you back all your funds at the earliest opportunity probably in 2-3 weeks. I think about you Johnny all the time! I think about a meaning of funds, and I'm very sad if these papers can prevent people to meet each other. In most cases the funds play a main role in the life but it's not right! I do not know what answer I will get from you Johnny. I very much am afraid that you will not help me. But I want to tell, that I really need you, and I simply can't endure the thought that I did almost everything, but I will not meet you. I have given all my forces, but together we are stronger. Are you with me?

Write to me soon!
With love, Your Elizaveta