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Letter(s) from Nadezhda Lap to James (USA)
Good afternoon mine dear Jim!
I do not know as you to concern today to my letter, but I wish to tell actually as there is all.
Today at me fine mood and me the pleasant dream dreamt. I do not know, whether to like you it, but today I would like to tempt a little you. Only therefore I give you today such photo. Today the pleasant dream dreamt me, it was a dream of a small meeting. Where there was a participation of two remarkable people. Today my dream was real in a dream. I so dreamt to descend in cafe or restaurant with my man. Today in a role of my man, in a dream there were you. We did a fine supper, it was at candles, then the pleasant melody has played, and I have not sustained, I have invited you to dance. I so do not have not enough partner to dance and this night in a dream it was pleasant. We turned and cheerfully danced, then during one moment I have turned to you a back. And when you to develop me the person to the person it was pleasant unexpectedness for me, you held a pleasant bunch of flowers. It was pleasure for me. Mine dear Jim now it becomes a shame to me, but nevertheless I so was very glad. Mine dear Jim today all the morning long, since the moment as I have woken up I all thought of you. And I have decided to go faster to see your letter to write to you.
I ask, understand my letter correctly, I have simply told to you today my dream what it was pleasure to see you. But I now have a question for you, you dreamt about me?
Now I think of you and when I will leave my thoughts is about you really much. I very much wish to know that you to answer me, and I will wait much your answer.
I hope, that after mine the letter at you will be today pleasant mood!
Yours faithfully, yours Nadya!
Good morning my charm Jim!
I do not know, that yesterday have found on me, but I really wished you to tempt a little, I think, that it because I envied those people who in the street go in steams. They going also walk together, I wished to share it with you, but could not. Mine dear, Jim when I looked at enamoured couples I as very much wanted that with me nearby during this moment there were you. Because now for me you became very much the loved one, I think, that I can tell to you everything, that is created at me in a shower. That I want and I wish. I think, that you will understand me. But nevertheless excuse me that I at the past we wash the letter tried to do temptation for you.
My darling I wish to tell that the photo is made in apartment my parents and my darling I wish to tell that to me a lot of pleasure that you to interest about me much and my darling I wish to tell that to me a lot of pleasure that you to ask me about it.
You know yesterday I thought of you much and did not know as you will behave today. And still I thought and waited that you will write to me, after all we already are for each other.
It is pleasant to know, that the person to whom my destiny is not indifferent, the person it is important to them to know, that with me exists, that I do! Probably, you to me do not feel anything. And I live your letters, I do not live more precisely, I exist, because a life for me now too loud word. Many do not understand me. Ask, what I have found in you?! Well, and you simply like me. It is interesting to me with you.
In my life I saw a little and felt care of. Simply all who could care of me, have been very engaged in by the affairs, and I at all was not necessary to the rests. It was necessary to do without care, I even felt a little lost when received from you such kind letters! I on the present did not know what to do! I have very much become puzzled and was frightened a little. Anybody, never concerned me so well, as you! And I am very grateful to you for it! You are from me for thousand kilometres, and is closer than you for me there are no people. Sadly, that so happens on light, and it is joyful, that miracles in this world happen not only in books! My angel the keeper has not forgotten me as it seemed to me earlier, the kindness you have woken in me other person - better, more kindly and more happily former! So it would be desirable to tell these words to you personally, but silly, mere words will not explain to the full my relation to you. My eyes when I will look in your eyes will more clearly tell to you be not upset, if this my letter little bit sad seemed to you, I will not forgive to myself if I will spoil to you mood. Simply understand my condition. Round me there were people, but I was lonely in a shower, and now I have a person to whom I am not afraid to prove to be such what I am. Huge to you for these thanks! I am absolutely free! If there will be questions, necessarily write, I with pleasure will answer them!
I would send you the kiss, but the technics is not has reached such level :). But nevertheless I wish to give you the most pleasant now, that I can give. My photo, and I hope that it to give for you weight emotion and a pleasant positive.
I will wait much your answer.
Write necessarily my darling! With impatience I will wait!
Hello my favourite Jim! :).
I hope, that you wait till now my letter for you. I regret, that could not write to you earlier. I waited your letter for me. I do not represent, as it is possible to live without your letter, but worst of all to realise that you not with me. I thought that you have written to me and at last I have read your letter for me. Your letters are necessary for me as I constantly remember you, about my love.
My darling I wish to tell that to me a lot of grief that mum to be ill you and till now not to recover. And my darling I want I will tell what to pray and I will think much of you and my darling I wish to tell that I would be near to you during this difficult moment for you.
I understand, that your feelings to me are very strong also my feelings too are strong to you. I miss on you. I do not have not enough man's caress, your caress the favourite. I want, that we with you were together and loved each other. I wish to see you and to embrace.
Jim, I love you, in my heart only you live also your love. I love you, I will love you, and you always will be in my love, my life, in my heart which is opened only for you. Jim, I think of you, and I wish to be with you. I hope, what you do not doubt also you is assured of the feelings? I am assured of your feelings, I know, that I searched in the life and I have met you my dear and I am proud of you.
I miss on you my dear. The love forces me to think only of you, to dream of our future. Each minute spent with you in your letters, soon leaves in the past, in the sweet memoirs, forcing to shudder heart and soul. I very long searched, not knowing, that I search. It seemed, I had all for usual existence, but I all the same waited for something from destiny, that it will throw to me a happiness particle. I wandered on unknown me to the world, dreamland or is simple the feelings which are rushing about in the disorder. But in the wanderings I have found at last true. Now I have you most expensive in this life. And I do not wish you to lose, lose that I with such work have found.
There is such belief: «occurs Nothing simply so, happens nothing vain». Means, you in my life a guiding star which is lighting up my life, reserving the long laid trace in a heavenly kingdom, a kingdom of stars on which I will follow to the destiny. Conduct me in the kingdom, a love and happiness kingdom. And what such happiness? It when you near to the favourite person. With you I wish to be. I very much love you. We related souls. You my half which so did not suffice me.
My life without you is boring. But I know, that you will make it better when we with you will be together. In my heart warmly which will be stored for you and to wait for you. I will look forward your answer. I hope, that my letter delivers you pleasure and a smile. I send you the gentle kiss.
With love and respect Nadya
Greetings my gentle!!!
I understand your feeling my darling. I wish to be with you nearby, not to release you from myself. I cannot wait more. I cannot constantly go to the cafe Internet to write to you. I recollected how many we with you already have gone through in ours with you letters, that we have learnt all about each other. I never thought of to trusting you as the person which loves can speak such remarkable and gentle words what are spoken by you to me my beloved. You the finest man whom I met. Your love pure and sincere. By means of you I have learnt, that the present love means. You have turned all my life. I any more do not wish to come back by the old life. I wish to begin with you all with a blank leaf. I wish to create with you our happy family. In my thoughts only good memoirs on you my favourite. But I do not want, that I still had only thoughts on you. I wish to be with you nearby. To live for the sake of you, to love you.
Today since the morning I left on walk and have looked at the world surrounding me. I have reflected on what future will be at us with you. This day me has forced to think, and what will be further in ours with you relations? Certainly it is impossible to live only one day, it is necessary to suspect before, that expects us further, to make the plans. I do not wish to waste time in empty as it easier then not to return. Such what we now we already have more to become never, it is necessary to rejoice to this moment and to rejoice to that at us with you good relations and we love each other.
You really fine romanticist. I like to read your letters. They are filled by feelings and emotions which you express me the love. It really seems a fairy tale in which we take part with you my favourite. You the fantastic prince, and I your princess whom you rescue from loneliness. I with pleasure the tonic your embraces opened for me and your sweet kisses. Your letters show me your love. I value to it and I appreciate each instant of ours with you of happiness.
Your sweet love Nadya.
Hi my darling Jimmy!
As it is pleasant to read again your letter for me. Thoughts do not give me rest. I only also think of you my darling Jimmy!
So much time seems has passed after ours with you of the correspondence. I can not easy read your letters in any way. Each time torments me my excitement because I do not know that you have written to me in the letter. Having read some lines, on my person there is a smile because I understand, that you love me my dear. The life to me seemed, is senseless without you. Now I am grateful to destiny that she has presented to me you what exactly I have met you also to you have written, instead of to somebody to another. Every night thoughts on you as if meteorites, clusters fall and burn down in darkness, leaving only burning trace of grief and grief. To me not to drive away melancholy. It a small moth arrives, as soon as the twilight goes down and not considerably sits down on my shoulder, gradually turning in the big sad bird shrouding me with to wings.
Know my dear, that my love to you has not changed, on the contrary it became even stronger. You - everything of what I think when I wake up in the morning, I meet friends. My thoughts is you 24 hours a day. You know, of what I think now? I think that we with you breathe one air and we go on one earth. Also you know, from it to me it becomes easier. My God! As I wish to be with you. To live with you all life. To be a number always. Every day. Every minute. I think of you every second, and after our first letter there have passed very many days. You as strongly I love you would know! Anybody, I swear, nobody loves, and I will not love you more strongly, than!
Mum washing worries about me because considers, that I am very strong in you have fallen in love. Whether asks we with you plan our meeting as to write letters all time all of us equally not we will and already followed reflect on how us with you to meet. I do not worry in this occasion because I think, that you to me will tell, when we will be ready to the further step of ours with you of relations.
I kiss you my darling Jimmy, whole it is gentle, gentle; absolutely innocent, silent kiss - after all we are divided by such big distance!
I always with you that has not occurred in ours to you souls. I never will leave you and I will not leave in a trouble.
Always only yours - Nadya.
Good afternoon my darling favourite, gentle Jimmy!
My darling Jimmy I can tell one, you have really changed my life, you have really given me all Jimmy at me were not, and I would like, that our life and our communication as continuation. Thanks for congratulations, are a pity that this day, we not together!
And today when I woke up, about the big and pleasant thoughts, I have solved for myself that I will make all for our rapprochement.
My darling as I you and to speak, I went, to travel agency, and I learnt, all details, about our meeting, very soon Christmas, and we not to have at all what right, to surrender, and to stop on half of way, therefore we are simply obliged to make. All for our future, already now!
When I have come to travel agency I many conversation with the manager agency, and he to me tried to explain all. He has told to me that the fastest, convenient variant of my arrival to you, - to come to you to the country as the tourist. For this purpose I should have following documents:
The passport foreign which grants the right to crossing to you in the country - 3945 roubles, As I should pay money, for registration the visa - 4795 roubles, Then I should go in Moscow for embassy of your country that my trip to you have approved also I could arrive to you. A trip to Moscow it is far and for its journey - 5921 rouble, As I should pay taxes - 696 rouble, Work travel agency - 903 roubles.
All it costs 16260 roubles - 542.75 dollar My darling Jimmy I so want, that we were with you together that at all of us it was good that we became with you a fine family, and together to celebrate a fine family holiday Christmas. I think only of us and as there will be our meeting.
I do not know, how to me to be now. I can ask for my mum, but it is not convenient to me to do it, as I on the contrary should help it with money, instead of it to me, you agree with me? My darling and now would be desirable me, that you have written me your letter. I simply do not know, how to me to be, but I wish to come to you and to be with you, and to embody all our dreams, of what we so long dreamt, all these days! I try to present, that you do at present, I represent our day, I try to build it in plans almost about one minute, and constantly to think, about ours with you of preparation for Christmas... Believe, Today I long will not fall asleep, representing day and night hours with you, and still some moments of our future meetings.. I never on anybody, except native so did not miss never as it is pleasant!!! It is pleasant to know, that of you think, you remember for some thousand kilometres from you. . I wish to be your Princess, my small, remarkable, gentle, beautiful, sincere, tender Prince!!! As time without you as it is cold here without you even in good weather long lasts... I ask you now, write me your letter. Not to hide from me that. Tell to me as is, that is in your soul now, that is in your heart, I ask you to make all for our meeting. I have become bored of you, I will wait your answer! I will wait your answer with excitement. Yours Nadezhda!
Good afternoon my darling favourite native Jim!
Now when I write you this letter at me there is many pleasure as also I would like much that you could pleasure as.
My darling Jim this day today we with my mum tried to make all for our meeting, and we could make sale of a thing mum that I could begin registration documents. My darling Jim as to me it was much pleasant, what my mum tries to make all for our meeting? As soon as possible, what together, with you to make a holiday Christmas. But grief was for me as.
My darling Jim with sale of a thing we could receive: 230 dollar or 172 euro. As I went at once to travel agency where I could make payment for registration documents and make all for our meeting. To me informed that today to me documents, and in 5 days started to make registration, on December, 26th my documents will be issued. But to receive my documents, I should make payment the remained money 312.75 dollar or 234.5 euro. My darling Jim I would like to ask you about that you could help me the remained money that I could receive my documents and come to you. I hope much, that nevertheless you can help me for remained money and that already then I can come to you and to be near to you, my darling to Christmas to remain so not enough time and please I very much ask not to upset you, me, please give we will be together as soon as possible, what to us with you absolutely to prevent nothing.
My darling Jim all these days I tried to use the best efforts for our rapprochement and that we could be together with you. And now I hope that you much as will use the best efforts and will help me for our rapprochement. That we can be together with you and only you for ever.
I would like to rejoice together with you when at you all is good, to long, when something is impossible, to feel the necessary person in your life. You - the most good, light, kind, that happen with me lately. No. Not so. Not lately, and in general in my life. «The life is that happens with us while we plan on the future». The love is omnipotent and boundless, its force does not depend on a season, an epoch, technical progress … Hearts meet - and the feeling, beautiful flashes, deep and comprehensive so was and will be always … And I hope much that nevertheless these days we can make all for our meeting. Also that already in a final analysis, we will be one and a happy family.
I love you.
Now I will leave, but I want that you remembered much and knew, that I to wait your answer much.
Your favourite Nadezhda!
Good afternoon my darling, favourite gentle Jimmy!
You know last days become simply grief for me and I do not know that to me to do and as to me to be. My darling Jimmy I not to feel your support that is necessary to me, and I nevertheless would like much that we could be together with you.
My lovely Jimmy every day, every minute, I wish to do all for our rapprochement and today I as tried to make all for our rapprochement. I cannot simply suffer any more and I wish to appear in your embraces? I as soon as possible, wish to appear with you nearby, and to do all of what we with you so dreamt much. And for the sake of our rapprochement, I to go to travel agency that we could be together with you that we could be a single whole. And as I was a lot of pleasure when the manager informed travel agency to me as. That already my documents are practically issued. When to me granting this passport for travel abroad, I was simply many delight, pleasures and happiness. And as I was happy in it. My darling Jimmy to me informed that my documents will be completely ready in two days on December, 26th and that this day I can receive them completely. And after that I can come to you. But to receive my documents completely, I should payment the remained money 312.75 dollar or 234.5 euro. My darling Jimmy and it to give me grief. Now I will send you a copy of mine the passport for travel abroad and as many pleasure in it will hope that at you. My darling Jimmy I hope much, that within the next few days all of us can already use the best efforts for our rapprochement. If these days today or tomorrow you can help me this last money then already through two days, on December, 26th as I you to speak, above in the letter, I can receive my documents and come to you. But whether there will be it so? My darling Jimmy I to pray much, and it is a lot of to hope ? that we can be together with you. My darling Jimmy I want our rapprochement much and very much I want that we could be together with you for ever.
Favourite if the Sun suddenly ceases to shine - you will warm me better it. If suddenly stars hide for the Moon - you will manage to present to me such romanticism which and did not dream them. If will spread Exhausting and Oceans - we will come up, because we TOGETHER. If on the Earth does not remain water drops - we will get drunk Love Each other. Believe to me, Favourite, only with you Stars and Oceans smile to us the Sun. And while we together, no elements will separate us. Because we with you - the strongest elements from all elements. I Love You! And for this reason I Love all around - I see the Life, I feel its Heat and Happiness. My sun, my gentle, I Love You! « I love you not for the one who you, and for the one who I, when I with you ». What can I make, that it has not ended? And I try to use the best efforts much, efforts to be together with you. And I hope as much that our love can help for us and that we can be a single whole with you. I love you much and I wish to be a single whole.
Now in me there is a lot of pleasure and positive emotion, and I hope that at you all it as much. I will finish my letter and much to wait your answer. Only during this moment, I ask you about that that you would write to me. Understand that I require your support much. Your favourite and unique Nadezhda!
Good day my dear , dear, gentle Jimmy !
How did a lot for me it was nice to see your letter. I have great sadness , because I still , be still , to his city , and it is for me to add a large amount of sadness , because we could have been together , and make all the arrangements for a wonderful celebration of Christmas , but you still can not do anything for our meeting , and I just can not understand anything , what you're doing ? That's just what you want?
I know a lot of thought I had my documents have to travel to you, I should just get them , but I get them just can not. And how hard for me .
My dear Jimmy this day happen just sad for both of us and I now just sad to report this news to you .
My dear Jimmy today I was contacted by a travel agency, where I was informed that my documents to travel to you and I have already been prepared should receive them ! Travel Agency Manager informed me that the contract terms with registration documents , travel agency just execute . And I make a breach of contract with a travel agency. I was informed that I did not make timely payment for registration of documents . Then travel agency manager informed me :
If after 5 days , until January 21, I can not make a payment the remaining money 312.75 dollar or 234.5 euro, then the travel agency will collect documents on a petition for cancellation of my documents . At this point, I have a lot of sadness , and I do not know what to do , and it in fact would mean that my mom to sell their stuff , just like that, and as I can to her about it , say , and the more we can not ever be together and I 'll be perfect for Christmas , one , do you want it? My dear Jimmy I ask you a lot about only one that we could be with you and be one. You are my joy , you are my life , and only you, I live in this world . My dear , beloved mother many Jimmy I want us to be together with you forever , and I pray that we would be able to make every effort for our meeting .
My dear Jimmy me a lot of sadness that travel agency can do this to me , but even more sad if the travel agency will make cancellation of my documents , it means that help my mom just the wind. My dear Jimmy I just hope a lot that we could be with you and be one unit and for all. I've been asking you about that you could help me to obtain the documents , because then I can come to you and be with you .
My dear , beloved gentle Jimmy how much I want to , we could be one unit and together with you forever . My dear , I am now a lot of hard and I just want to cry and tears . I ask you one question, to the moment you could support me so that I would be able to receive these documents and come to you. My dear , dear, gentle Jimmy I ask you that you just might help me to design documents for coming to you.
Now, I'll go with a lot of thought about you. but I do a lot of difficult. My dear , before Christmas to be very little time, and so I would like to spend this holiday with you !
I hope a lot of that during this week we can do everything for our approach and that you can help me to design documents .
I love you, your favorite and only Nadezhda!
Hi my darling Jimmy!!!
You specially wished to spoil my mood. The life, is not fair!!! Why? This question is in my head. And now, you accuse me that I deceive you! I at all do not wish to trust in your letter. I do not wish trust that you could to write such letter for me! NO, it was not you!!! It was not Jimmy when wrote the letter! Because you, could not tell to me such!!!!
I not to trust in it!!! Why you have told to me that that I tried to deceive you??? From what you it have thought?
You know, we communicated with you not so small time, and should be together, but in your head something has occurred, or to you someone has told a lot of bad, and you have changed the opinion!!!
There is all this time you me simply deceived. I have understood that you tried to check me my feelings. Now I even itself am not assured, that all you told is the truth. Look all ours with you letters. That you will see unless similar on a lie. I have learnt about you much, for certain not each person knows about you so much, how many you have told to me. Now I even doubt, that everything a little, that in your letters it is the truth. You think, that I deceive you, and it not suspecting deceive me.
You certainly can listen to others, look not clear sites where profane all people on light, but I have got used to listen to the heart. But to profane people begin only with envy when see that at people all well, and they speak specially all badly. Let it sometimes also deceives, but in it I am guilty only and I so have solved, instead of someone to me has told about it.
All letters which I wrote have been filled by love to you, but it turns out that it was vain!
I saw in transfer on the TV as men and agree with the woman about arrival. When the girl comes, her meet at the airport and say, that will bring to hotel or home, but actually them brought to a brothel and swung in them drugs. Then sold them in sexual services. Relatives of girls did not know it, letters home forced to write girls, that all is good and even put up in an envelope money. On - to it, parents of girls thought, that all is good. But then, when letters ceased to come, parents searched for the daughters. Only units of families have received the daughters back. The others have disappeared it is not known where. In the world many bad people. Not necessarily in Russia. All put an example Russia and speak that "the Russian Mafia". Though a word "mafia", this Italian word. Italy the mafia native land. It only my opinion. I do not know, how you think, but I think that bad people are everywhere. I as heard, that the French girls and girls of the USA, live with the man and when at the man problems they simply begin leave from it to other man. And not simply leave, but also bring an action and select half of all property. I am brought up differently. My mother has given me good education. She constantly said to me, that each person should construct the happiness itself, instead of use happiness of others. As, she spoke words which I constantly recollect. She spoke "on another's grief the happiness will not construct". These words to me were remembered for all life and since then, I live as it is possible is better.
I will not be justified before you!!!! It is really difficult for finding to itself of the partner in life from other far country. I will tell to you one: "Listen to the heart". Also make that it to you Will prompt, but please it is not necessary to deceive more me. Tell to me better the truth. What Bitter it was not, we should agree with it. And me it is now very sick on a shower.
I will not go to mum, to village, and to me will be all the same that will think of me!
I do not have mood, after all of what I most of all dreamt, that dream to be with you has broken, as the ship about rocks!!!!
I will say goodbye to you and I will wait for your answer. I hope that you will answer me shortly!!!!
I will wait for your answer, Nadezhda!