Letter(s) from Ayrina Omarova to Rolf (Germany)

Letter 1

Hello my dear Arnold!!!!

I must confess that I'm so glad to have our correspondence, I'm so glad that I'm involved in the Internet, because I have met you. I just
like your letters as your personality. I like this way of
communication because I know you through your thoughts and views on life and not only your appearance which is nothing for real Love, Fidelity and Honesty. Don't you think so???????

I have a perfect mood from the very morning. It's strange but I saw you in my dream. I felt distinctly that you are near with me. You were so nice and tender. I felt that you were going somewhere but I didn’t want to let you go. I was holding your hand and you were holding mine.
We were sinking in each other's eyes. And then you touched my cheek and gave me a tender kiss. That moment I was the happiest girl in the world and I wanted it to last forever. Next moment I got up. I was so sorry I couldn't see it till the end. But even the more sorry I was that it was only a dream. I really felt you so close. We needn't words. Our eyes spoke. I still remember the taste of your lips. I’m still under the impression after that dream......

I need to tell you one thing, you see I am uneasy to tell you this but I want to be open with you an you to know everything about me and my life.... Please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry to tell you this but you see I have some problems with my corresponding with you. As far as you know, I had some difficulties with my teeth and it cost me a lot. You see it is rather expensive in our country to use Internet and it is too expensive for me to pay for the translation of the letters now. So it is the last letter I can allow me to write to you. I will not able to write to you till the time I find the money to pay. I know that you may say that it is only my own problem but you see I really don't want to loose touch with you because I really like you and want to be with you. We understand each other in half word and I feel something special to you. You are the only man I stay I write with and I really don't want to loose you dear. Be sure that if the situation wasn't so difficult I wouldn't ask you for help but I really can't solve the problem by myself. Because I can't anymore pay for us both, I told you about this now because I don't want to lose you as you are very special to me. Please, if I really mean something in your life......

Your Alen

Letter 2

Hello my dear Arnold!

Now I am sure that my day will be bright and lucky for me as I found your reply today. Your letters make my days happier and positive. I will tell the true :) - I was waiting your letter so very much. Today in the morning I waked up with the feeling that I miss to talk to you so much, so I decided to go to the office of the translation firm and to write to you. When I write to you my letters I feel myself in other world. It is so nice to feel myself closer to you with our letters. I am always natural and I cant keep anything inside. If you could only to see my eyes now :))..... Dear, I am so thankful to you that you accepted me with having such poor English skills and didn't stop our correspondence. I understand it makes our communication a bit harder, but I discovered you from another side which is very important to me.
You are not a person who can be scared with some difficulties and barriers in life. Am I right? It shows that you have a very strong personality.

My dear, I want you to know that I am very thankful for your understanding as for the lack of time during this season of holidays.
Yesterday we had Christmas and a couple of more holidays we will celebrate this month. And overloaded January will finish :). You told me to send to me your photos but I still do not have them, why? Is it difficult for you to share some photos with me? Or don't you like to share them with me?

How are you doing today? How is your mood? How was your day? Was it hard? Did you managed to relax a bit? How is the weather in your place? Does it influence on your health? Being a very sensitive girl, I can feel the sharp changes in the weather so much. And what about you?

Dear, today I want to talk to you a bit about how I see and how I think about relationship and love. I truly believe that the difference in age, religion, race and social position doesn't influence on relationship. Of course if it is true feelings between a man and a woman. Perhaps, you have another opinion and view about it, do you? Of course it is your right. And I respect it. I don't want to ask you which bad habits you will not accept in your future life partner, as everyone has bad habits, but that's the beauty of the one you love, do you agree with me? To my mind, it is not right to change the habits in a person. We should get use to them if people love each other. I am ready to get use to the future beloved's and he gets to use to mine (except drug addiction and alcoholism). That's True Love. What do you think about it ? Could you be so kind to share with me your thoughts about True Love??? Do you believe in it?

Oh, I have almost forgot to tell you about my dislikes :)))). I promised you to tell you about it in my previous letter, but the topic of " True Love " enticed me away so much :))). So, I cant accept only two things. The first one, I don't like the hypocrisy. I prefer to say something right to somebody's face then behind somebody's back. I don't believe in " White Lie ". And the second, I cant live with the word " Laziness". What can you tell me about it?

Dear, I really hope, that my today's letter will help you to understand "my inner world" better. Understanding, care and respect is everything I need. I hope that you will not make me to wait too long your reply. Please, take a special care of yourself and remember that one Ukrainian Lady waits some news from you so much. Have a nice day.
Sweetest kisses and hugs from Natalia.

Letter 3

Hi my sweetest Arnold!

Today I am in good mood and of course I want to share it with you. I have so nice feelings inside of my heart, that sometimes it seems to me that I know you many years. You know, every time when I think of you the warmth and tenderness fill my heart. I feel such a great joy and happiness when I get a letter from you. When I write to you my heart starts beating quicker. What did you do with me, my dear?
Perhaps, you will consider me as a crazy :))) woman, but I always want to call you with the endearing name. What would you like me to call you as, other than your name :)))? I am so natural and I don't like to hide my feelings and emotions from you. This is me and my soul.

My dear, I want to thank you so very much for sending me your so nice photos. You look very nice. I like you so much. You are a very good looking man and I do not understand how you can worry about your age as you are perfect :). I like you how you are and you should not worry about the age difference, ok?

Honey, I want to thank you so very much for your desire to help me with the payment of the English classes so very much. It is very important for me. My dear, I want you to know that I have checked all the information about the English courses and I want to give you the information about it. The price of English courses are 200 USD for one month ( I will need to visit it 3 times per week ) and 300 for one month ( I will need to visit it 5 times per week ). The classes are in the evening what is very comfortable for me to visit them after my work. All the tutorials are included in the sums of money which I gave you above. Honey, you can not imagine how much I want to learn this language which will makes us closer to each other. For now, it is the most important thing for me. And if you will give me such chance - to learn English, than I will be the happiest woman in the world and I will not disappoint you. I will be a very good student and will learn it hard :). And of course I wish to write to you my letter by myself and to practise English too, but I have a very old computer which does not work now.

How are you today, dear? How was your day? How is your mood now? I was thinking of you last evening. You are always in my thoughts.
Especially yesterday, when I read a book of poems written in English with Ukrainian translations (the girl who translates our letters gave it to me some days ago). My dear, of course, all the poems were charming and wonderful, but a person always chooses the only one which he/she considers the best. I have chosen one and I would be happy to share it with you. You know, when I reread this poem you appeared in my imagination. I am romantic, maybe more then I have to be! But dreaming about unearthly feelings is always so nice. And I am sure that one day all my dreams will be realized, am I right, my dear??? So if you don’t mind I would like you to read this poem. And I hope that you will like it. But please tell your opinion about it :)

I can't see you
I can't smell you
I can't touch you
And I can't taste you
But, somehow, I feel I could.
Why does my heart beat so rapidly
At one little thought of you?
Why do I need for you to touch me, hold me Press your sweet, warm body to mine?
Oh, give me pleasures I could never know...
I want you to teach me the wonders
I've never known and take me to levels
Never seen before by my quivering soul.
Suck me in, let me drown...
It would be like a baptism...my heart with yours.
I can't see you
I can't smell you
I can imagine
And I can't touch you.
Somehow I feel we're beyond that.
We are two- united from the start
Meant to teach, to love, to comfort, and caress.
I could never let go of you
Even though there is nothing to grasp.
Even if it fades over time
It could never fade completely
And, one day, when I do see you...
I'll feel it's you, I'll know it's you
The love, pain, worries, and curiosity
Will run through me once again.
Then...

I Will see you
I Will smell you
I Will feel you
I Will taste you

So? What do you think about it? Did it touch your heart, my dear??? Do you like it? As for me I was impressed by it too much! And of course I couldn’t keep all my emotions inside of my soul. Now can you understand why? Honey sorry for being today so sentimental and sensitive. But it is just because I really like you and you are always in my mind! I am finishing my letter because I do not want my romanticism to bore you too much.

My dear, please, take a special care of yourself as I really care about you. Have a nice day and write to me as soon as possible. I will wait for your letter with great anticipation. Tender kisses and strong hugs from Natalia .