Letter(s) from Natalia to Oscar (Spain)

Letter 1

Hi Oscar! I waited to receive your email today, and when I got your letter, it was the best time.
I was working with lots of stress today. I took a break and I was informed that you had written. I forgot all my worries with work.
So, I'm glad to be here Oscar!
Oh Oscar now the main moment of my day is expectations which eventually change to sincere joy because my friend Oscar has written me his letter!
Each time I have a feeling of worry - "What if Oscar will not write me today?" But when I receive your letter, everything becomes simply excellent, the smile does not leave my face and almost nobody can overpersuade me that this day is a good day! I hope your day as well is filled with pleasure and nothing will sadden your mood!? It is really wonderful, when in the life new aspiration appears, new purpose, don't you agree? Without it life would lose any sense. Dreams and the purposes force people to rise onto mountain tops or to dive to oceans bottom, to conquer the North Pole or to land the Moon, to build a family and to win the Olympic Games. And when your dream purpose comes true, you have tears of sincere joy on your eyes, and it is much more important than many things in our life. And you will always remember these tears of joy, because these tears will tell you that you really lived, dreamed, aspired and struggled. Oscar What sort of life are you looking for now? I have noticed, that I often start to ask myself these questions. 32 years old is not a lot, but it is not a young age.
I often begin to think of what I have done in my life, what purposes I have reached, what mistakes I've made. I start to think of the future more often, I began to estimate my past. Probably this age - time to look back and to draw the certain conclusions, time to think and analyze a life, time to put new purposes and tasks. I begin to understand that I will hardly be able ever to touch amazing stars, I understand that many things in the life are not so simple as I thought; I understand that great deal in my life will be otherwise than I thought. It is the time of reassessment of values.
And probably it is high time to dream about simple human happiness.
Do you agree with me?
Oscar now, I should return to my work((
Write me soon,
Your Mariya.

Letter 2

Hello my dear friend Oscar. I am glad that I have an opportunity to write you.
I had free days from work. We always receive it after "the outside work day" we have just back from grandmother, brother Oleg has left works, so we could visit the grandmother the whole family. We had very good time there, We couldn't stay at home all the time because there was a desire to spend time in the open air. Then we visited the sauna ("Banya") with a birch broom. Do you know what it is? we had fine steam ! Do you like a sauna?
I would like to have sauna with you :) Oleg's wife was there also,in the evening my brother Oleg cooked barbecue and salad with vegetables!
We had remembered our grandfather. He passed away that date in 1980. In our country there is a tradition. To remember dead relatives in the day of their death... Then Oleg took his mondoline (it is like a small guitar) and sang grandfather's favorite composition: "Tanks on the field" (a folk song). It is a very old composition. It was very popular during the second world war where our grandfather Fedor took part. He had many medals of honor, I wrote to you about him... The grandmother told us about the grandfather he shoot gun and sometimes shooted, but this days shoot gun belongs to Oleg. He hunts now with it. Oleg likes to shoot in the evening and I tryed also :) He once took me hunting, but nevertheless I could not shoot animals.. But I like fishing very much:)
Oscar also we have so much to talk about with you!
It is very interesting, They are interested in your relatives, and when I shall acquaint you with them:) Relatives say hello to you.
How was your day? What is the weather like there? I hope it is good.
Oh, Oscar we were born in so different places of the world and we speak different languages with you, but it is not a problem at all with communication, I enjoy it, have never met so handsome and honest man here, to talk about so many important things, if you know how it is lonely sometimes during the day and i want to get your letter so much ! I think That I would like to have a family with so kind and honest man similar to you Oscar. :)
I hope that our relations will grow :) I think it is possible for me, because I feel that you are a very good man and I feel that we learn each other much better!!! Yes, we communicate not for a long time, but do you feel the same as I do? It may sound strange but sometimes I feel that we know all about each other, oh if we meet one day, it would be great :)
Yes, life is too short, and if destiny will give us a chance we must keep it strong in our hands. I think that We became so close to each other, I am really happy to communicate with you Oscar.
Sorry, I should come back to work..
I look forward to your letter!!!
Write to me soon Oscar!

With kisses !
Your Mariya.

PS. I send you pics from our open air :))
hope you like it

Letter 3

Hi Oscar, I am so happy to get your letter! How are you doing my darling? :)
I feel so happy when get your letter Oscar, when I walk here, open my e-mail box and see it here :)
Our dialogue is an energy source for me. I often begin to imagine - what you are doing, where are you right now, or with whom you are right now...
There are a lot of kilometers, some hours between us, but I always think that maybe right now you also think: "What Mariya is doing, where she is?".
And maybe we think of the same things at the same time. I like thinking of it.
Yesterday I came back home from work earlier. I spent time reading, walking, cooking :) My brother came to my place after work. Oh my prince, apple pie I cooked yesterday was great! Oleg took the half home to have breakfast with tomorrow. There was a very funny situation, Oleg went to have his hair cut and when he came for supper the most part of his hair has not been cut and other part was cut very short! I laughed and Oleg was not able to understand what had happened :) you know, it seems like that that hairdresser was not able to done his work well because of holidays, maybe drank too much or just was too tired :)) Well, you know, I can cut hair very well and did it with Oleg's hair, he is handsome now and happy. May be someday I will cut your hair also:)) Oleg said hi to you, and always asks about you, how are you. Frankly speaking, I do not hide, that I have found such a wonderful friend, and nobody is surprised that my friend lives in other country. Everybody is just glad. Everyone understands that such relations mean greater mutual understanding, greater interest, greater respect.
And I am sure that it is really so. Nobody here is surprised if the woman looks for ''not here'' man . I think the cultural distinction is a wonderful thing. I don't understand men here and their culture of dialogue with women. They are not able to appreciate women's feelings, her fidelity, love. They do not appreciate sincerity and aspiration of women to do for a man absolutely everything, wishing to get from him only love, respect and fidelity. I do not want to speak about bad and sad things.

Time flies so fast. Special mood these rainy days, full of thoughts about future, romanticism, love... The world is a really big place Oscar, I am very curious about us my dear, two people from different countries, who speak different languages find each other, have so much in common....
Very interesting situation. I think that it is very important not just to live, it is very important to feel, to feel every instance, when you understand that the day have not just passed, when it brought something new !
To my mind nothing in this world just happened only because of us, I think that destiny is real and give us the way, way we need, way which is important for us.
I know you are so far, but why? Why you were born there Oscar?
Not here ? Because if you were born here and live may be on the closest street, may be we will never meet each other? But you were born so far, and we are already together, in our hearts, in our souls. If I look in my past I would like to say that I have never met man who is so cary and kind as you.
You really brought happiness and very good feeling to me, I am sure that this feeling is similar to love, it is not just called "love", sometimes people pronounce this world as other words and do not put anything special, just say "I love you" but does mean true feeling? You know, when you have feelings, words are not necessary sometimes, what are words?
What are true feelings? Words are material things and are able to destroy anything, but are they necessary when you fall in love? When people come to me at work and ask to marry... What are they waiting from me?
That I tell them yes? They feel that I am always give them advice, help, I speak to them when I am really interested in them as a specialist.
It happened 4 times for these days.... They just see my beauty and words which every doctor should speak say... Do they see the beauty of my soul?
Oscar, we have never met in person, but you are the only man in the this world who feels beauty of my soul, who carries about me. What can I say.
I think My heart is open for you, and I think that my life is open for you.
I can get no sleep this days, my heart beats so fast...
It is a pity, that i cannot continue my letter...
I shall wait for your answer..

a lot of kisses ...
Your Mariya.

Letter 4

Hi Oscar! I am sincerely glad to get your letters, and I am very glad that I have had an opportunity to write you because I want to tell you today so much. I want to share so many things with you today.
Oscar I always was sincere with you and I want to be sincere now because from the very beginning we built our friendship on the sincerity and openness.
It is difficult to write about it because those emotions I have now to transform into words are new for me, and for the first time in my life I try to explain things that I feel. And I feel that I should be very exact and accurate in my words. I understand that at such moments it is necessary to think over each word because even though I simply want to tell you the truth, even though I just want to tell you sincerely everything what now is in my soul, I understand that the truth and sincerity can sometimes offend the person, bring disappointment.
And I want you to understand all my thoughts correctly because I do not want to offend you or to put you by my words into awkward position.
Oscar you are very dear to me, and I do not want to lose those relations that we have, because these relations are important for me. And all main emotions that often visit my heart, - pleasure and even happiness, disappointment and sadness, now depend only on one thing - presence of your letter.
For the first time in my life I tried to start relationship with a man who is so far away from me, relations where thoughts and feelings of each other take the main place as these are the only things that unite us together.
And it is the best opportunity to become first of all friends, best friends,- with open hearts, ready sincerely to share with each other all feelings and emotions. I try all this for the first time in my life and I do not know what waits for me and you in the future, but I would be happy to have relationship with you, friendly and more. And I would be happy if you have such desire as well. And even though I for the first time in my life try to start such relationship, I already thank God for what I feel right now. It is very valuable for me and I believe that all that was in my life,- all ups and downs, all tries and losses are the way where God has put me to learn to appreciate life and to be wise, to learn to make decisions and to make a correct choice when the time of a choice will come. I believe that I had to pass through this way,- to be ready to meet a man who will become my soul and heart, with whom I will build the small world of love and tenderness, giving to him all my care, fidelity and infinite respect; with whom I will be up to death because he will give me the most important things in a life - the sincere love and care, These are an only things most important for me.
And I am sure that these are things you appreciate as well. The beauty and external attractiveness are main things for many people, but my life has shown me that the main thing of a person - internal beauty, beauty of his soul and heart. Not a lot of people really possess internal beauty and not a lot of people really understand that it is thebmost important and unique quality,- quality helping to believe in miracles and fairy tales, quality that makes people sincere and kind. This is what I was looking for in a man, it is what I put at the first place, it is a feature that could open my heart. And I want to tell you Oscar, that you are a beautiful man, beautiful first of all as must be beautiful every true man. I speak first of all about beauty of your soul and heart. You are beautiful for me and that is why I already now thank Destiny that I has come to this crossroads of a life where I have met you. Here people forgot about many important things, and words "love" and "fidelity" here have lost sense, became simply words. I am not sure if you understand everything I try to say, but I hope that my words do not offend you in any way. My words are not simply words, it is a part of my soul that I open to you because I feel that I can and I want to do it. And I hope you feel the same.
And I really wish to develop our relations, to go further, to learn each other at a new level, where friendship is only the first step. I want to go the way that will not be limited only by friendship. I see new horizons, and I feel that I want to try to promote our relations further than it enough to be simple friends. And I hope my words do not disappoint you because I always wanted to be sincere with you and I think that sincerity is the best thing.
Oscar could you ever relax your eyelids, allow your eyes to close, and to imagine a life we could share? I really dare to dream and imagine us together as a man and woman,- people that can brighten a life of each other, fill life with sense and variety, with aspiration to learn each other more and more. And I think everyone should believe in dreams; everyone should believe that dreams can really come true! I know that I can lose you at any moment.
I thought of us and I wanted to tell you everything I think; so that you know that I feel we become very good friends and our relations make me happy.
I wanted to tell you everything what I think, so that you know that you are dear for me. And even the one day without you, without your letter is equivalent to eternity, therefore I even cannot imagine months without you at all... And I hope that our relations are important for you just as for me.
I dare to hope, that you at least allow to think, that our relations can be promoted further than simply friendship.
I hope now you have really smile now!
I will wait for your answer Oscar.
I hope I have not offended you.

Your Mariya.

Letter 5

Today I write to you with special worry but as well with pleasure and hope. I really hope that everything that I will tell you today will make you happy. Last time when I wrote you my honest letter I had the big sadness in my heart, and even though I tried not to show it, I think you have noticed it.
Oscar I was sad because the boss informed me that approximately in two weeks the dentist cabinets will be closed for full re-equipment and repair. And when he told me it, I thought my heart would stop, because when it takes place, I will not be able to communicate with you again for months! And it has brought infinite sadness into my heart. But after my boss informed me about close of the cabinet, the accounting department informed me that approximately in two weeks I will get my vacation! When I thought that I can lose you for some months, inside my soul I at once have felt that I can't simply accept it.
And I have felt that together with sadness in my heart another feeling - feeling of confidence has appeared, desire to make new steps instead of simply waiting for something. I have understood that our relations are important for me much more than I thought. And it is so wonderful.
But a thought that I will not be able to communicate with you, to receive your letters and to write mine,- all these thoughts has brought a pain to me, pain that I can't endure. I talked to Maria and she asked me what I think to do. And when she asked me it, I understood that inside my soul I already know the answer to this question. And I told that I do not want to spend such a vacation in loneliness. I can't accept a thought that I will not talk to you during of month or two. And I told that I want to meet you Oscar! I told her that I want to spend my vacation with you Oscar! I can come to you, and we can spend time together if you want. And first I was afraid that if I will tell you about it in the letter, you will write me that you do not want to see me or can not meet me. And it would hurt my heart. But Maria said, that you Oscar and I are such good friends, our relations are built on sincerity, therefore you will be happy to spend time with me. And I really think that it would be delightful. So, what you will say Oscar if I offer you a meeting? Would you be happy to see me and to spend several days with me?
I cannot imagine at all how it would be wonderful. You would show me your life, we would learn each other in a real life. We would look into the eyes of each other, we could hold our hands, tell each other silly stories, laugh and tease each other, watch the stars in the night sky and have romantic evening, go to the movie or we could simply sit on a bench in the park, and who knows what else we could do together... I would be happy to do all this together with you, instead of again be lonely without you and our friendship. I simply want to meet you.
I know all I need to do to come to your country. I have the passport.
But I must visit improbable quantity of the departments, to collect improbable quantity of documents, for travel and probable work in your country, find as many as possibly of other official legal people, institutions and people for support; to get petitions. But if I quickly collect all the necessary documents. I will get the all papers in two weeks!
And being the doctor I will have support and guarantees from Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation, and it is certainly the best guarantor.
If the applicant have official recommendations and directions to various sorts of conference, seminars, - it will relieve of necessity to wait for some weeks the decision of the commission. But as soon as I am in your country, I shall have an opportunity to work, also there will be an opportunity, at desire, to prolong the visa or even to receive citizenship, If I want :) ... Oscar with happiness and with hope that you will be happy to spend some days with me! I do not ask you about anything.
I will make everything by myself. It is my vacation and I will not be a burden. Would you be happy to spend some time with me soon, Oscar?
Anyway, we must meet. It is possible to wait eternally. But I believe that I will get my vacation not accidentally; and I believe that the laboratory will be closed at the same time not accidentally as well. It is not coincidence! It is time to make a choice, to make the decision, to take a new step.
Maybe such an opportunity will not be repeated again. What can be better than a meeting of two friends? The first meeting. It is simply delightful and I thank destiny that I have got such an opportunity, - an opportunity to meet my dear friend, the opportunity to learn each other in real life, the opportunity to enjoy time which we can spend together. And I believe that it can become the beginning of something new in our lives and in our relations.
And I am really happy to get a vacation because it is the time which I can spend in any way I want, and I want to spend this time with you Oscar!
So what will you say? Would you like to spend time with me? Would you be glad to meet me? Would you be happy to have the first meeting at your airport?
I will wait for your answer with pleasure.

With Love
Sincere Your Mariya.

Letter 6

Hi my Oscar! I waited for your letter with fear and with pleasure at the same time!
And I am very happy to receive your letter! I am ready to jump and dance, laugh and sing songs! And the reason - you Oscar!
Thank you for your letter and your thoughts. I am so happy that we can meet.
Now I have the ocean of emotions and I do not know what to say.
I am worried very much. I hope very much that we can perfectly spend time together. I am only afraid, that if we meet, I will ask so many questions and chatter unceasingly, that you soon will escape from me.
My vacation will begin approximately in two weeks. At this time I can arrive to you. But unfortunately the schedule of my vacation is not flexible.
Therefore I hope you will be glad to meet me at this time. If you have not enough time, I will be happy all the same. I will be happy in any case.
It is better to wait when you will come from work, than to sit in my apartment and to know that nobody will come!!! Duration of my vacation is 34 workdays. But quantity of days which I can spent with you depends on when I will get my vacation and when I will order the ticket. However at desire I can prolong vacation at own expense. But I at all would not want to leave you :) How many days do you want to be with me? I think preparations for travel will be about two weeks. Complexity of approval of the papers, visa will be reduced to a minimum as I will have petitions and characteristics from a work place, from respected organizations and legal people; guarantee documents and various sorts of the information and inquiry, which will be given to commissions I will get the petition and a testimonial from Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation! Except of that I will pay for preparation for the commission.
Every day I think - what my friend Oscar will tell me today, what mood he will have today? And as soon as I get a free minute, I rush to analyses's room to find out if you have written to me or not. And when I receive your letter, I start to smile from ear to ear anticipating the best time of my day - time when I read your letter and when I write to you the all my thoughts. These are the most important minutes of my day. And these minutes I don't hear anything and I don't see anything except of lines and paragraphs which in my mind will be transformed into small movies, movies about you, my dear Oscar. And you cannot imagine at all how it's wonderful!
Sometimes I think, what would happen if I have not found the boldness in myself to write you? What would happen if I didn't believe that I could find a man in such a way? I always want to think that I'm a courageous woman, but I feel that actually it is not so. I am ready to give my life for the sake of person who is close and dear for me, I am ready to donate my well-being for the sake of well-being of another person but when I think of myself, I often become timid and all my boldness disperses like the fire's smoke.
I am often afraid to make something, to take some step simply because of fear that it will be an incorrect step. I am often afraid to ask people about anything simply because of fear to get the negative answer.
Not always, but it happens. What would happen, if you have not answered my letter? Nothing would happen! And grey monotonous days again would lie on a way of my life by infinite impenetrable veil. Do you want to know what I did today? Firstly, I should tell you that I slept with a smile on my face!
At least when I woke up and looked at the mirror, I noticed that I was smiling! Then, I cleaned teeth and I had a smile! Then, I jog and I smiled as if actually I watched funny movie. Then, I cooked breakfast and drank a coffee with a smile on my face! Then, I came to clinic, and I could not hide my smile. I was ready to laugh and I at all had no desire to work! It is a very bad symptom for the pharmacist! :)
Everything around seemed me beautiful and wonderful. And even the severe boss, when saw that I look at him and I smiled, he began to survey himself attentively and even came near to the mirror to see if anything wrong! He thought that something was wrong with his clothes! All the day I worked with the smile on my face! Amanda looks at me and smiles as well.
Of course she understands the reason, and it makes her happy as well! And when time of sleep comes, I will lie in my bed with the same smile on my face! And if you till now have not understood why I smile, I will tell you!
I smile because I think of you, Oscar! And it brings me joy! I am so happy that I have in my life such a man as you! Thank you that you are in my life!
I have to go. Now I will not have a lot of time after work because after work I will have one more working day!:) You may ask what I mean?
The preparation for my trip! You cannot imagine at all how many deals I must do for our meeting! I even have asked the boss to reduce my working day or to allow me to take some hours off in the middle of day to make some things, because after 5pm not all departments work! Of course now I should work in the days off to have more of free time on week-days. But thoughts about our meeting give me force and energy! I am sure that everything will be perfect! I will wait for your letter! Please, write me because I need your letters and support more than ever!

With Love and Kisses!
Always your Mariya!

Letter 7

Hi my Oscar! You can't imagine how all your words are important for me.
I can feel the emotions you write me with, and your emotions fill my heart.
And I know hundreds of words, that could help me tell you how you are important, dear for me now. And I am waiting for the day when I am able to tell you all these words, being face to face - looking into your caring eyes. I am looking forward to that moment when I see your sparkling smile on your face and read all your thoughts and feelings in your smile.
And now my heart enjoys fine feelings - feelings of awaiting and hope that one day our meeting will come true. And sometimes it is simply impossible to express all the shades of my joy by means of words . How difficult it is to express all the depth and passion of feelings in simple combinations of words and phrases ; how difficult it is to express all tenderness by means of lifeless letters, it's almost impossible to describe the warm wave of feelings which overflows me every day, every minute, every instant - when I am thinking of you Oscar! Any words cannot replace a glance and a smile, any words are not able to replace tenderness of touch.
Oscar I am not sure if I should tell you what had happened yesterday.
I don't want you to be unhappy but I was so terrified that I cannot keep it to myself.
Don't worry too much!!!!I am safe and sound...
Well when I came home and come up to the door of my flat I noticed something strange.
At first I did not understand what the matter was. The door was slightly opened.
I thought Oleg had come and had not closed the door. But when I entered the hall I realised what had happened. Everything was in a mess, my clothes were on the floor as if somebody was looking for something. When I came up to the upboard where I put my box with jewellery I realised what they were looking for...
The box was empty there were no the jewellery that my grandmother presented me.
She got those rings and earrings from her granny. They were very ancient. They were really precious for me more that it the price was very high...So thieves stole them.
One more precious thing was in my flat and I rushed to the room to check it.
While I was running to the room(just a few seconds) my heart was beating so fast. But there was nothing there. The icon was absent. It was stolen as well.
I sat on the floor, closed me eyes and tears were dropping down.I felt so miserable.
Unfortunately my flat was not insured. My flat insurance finished a week ago and I was planning to do it in some days because I just could not imagine this.
So it was my mistake. But nothing can be done now.
Of course i called the police. When they came they asked me different questions.
But the only thing I was thinking of was the icon. It was made of wood, silver, gold and pearls. it was of the 17th century. And the history of our family is connected with it. One of Russian tsars presented the icon to my ancestor for his service and faithfulness.It was a real treasure for our family and memory of our ancestor. I am broken now... I don't know what to do, I feel guilty because Oleg said to me to bring the icon to his flat but I could not give it away.

Well, Oscar I want to finish my letter with good thoughts. And I will tell you something good! I want to tell you about my feelings to you, if you know, how speedy my heart beats when I am walking here with hope to get your letter, as a child looking forward to getting his birthday present. You gave me hope, you born feelings in my heart, I want you to know that I fell in love with you, and I miss you!
Be with me in my thoughts. I will think of you, so please, think of me as well. "You are an Angel" - TY ANGEL!

With all my tenderness.

Your Mariya.

Letter 8

Hi my prince Oscar!!!! How important it is for me to get your letters.
I don't feel well because of the latest events. Oleg had to spend the night in my flat while my door is being restored. We spoke a lot about the misfortune. It is so terrible.
I must admit Oscar I feel comfortable only if I receive your letters.
I wanna to embrace you right now so you can feel my Heart ;)
What about your place Oscar? What is the weather like there now?
however I have good news as well.
Oh, Oscar I want to tell you that I have collected almost all the characteristics and petitions from different people. Soon I will have a meeting with the notary at the notary office to legalize all the documents.
Oleg was able to reach agreement with the municipal department. Now he must get all the documents about my family and me. It turned out that not all the people are unselfish, but the essential thing is that we will get these documents.
The rest is not important at all.
My relatives are very happy, you know they like that we communicate with you. My brother and friends say hello to you! Today while sleeping dreamt my parents. My parents were very good people and Mum always gave me "freedom of choice" mum told me in the past: "Mariya, it is your life, you can try everything you want, you can find love, just remember,my dear that your father and I want you to be happy" I loved my parents.
It it so sad they are not with us now.
Well, we walk all the time now and enjoy this season. I think it is very important to spend some time in the open air. Well, my mood is very fine now, I know that soon we will walk outside together, it would be great Oscar :)
Looking forward to being with you tonight in my dreams :)

With Love and Kisses
Your Mariya.

P.S. I took some pics for you these days, hope you like them )

Letter 9

Hello my prince!!!
I cannot write much. I only have come for some minutes here, and I have some minutes to write to you!
My dear, you know now I have all a?o necessary papers.. and tomorrow in the morning I'm going to Moscow :) More than it I was informed that probably next week I can be with you :) I can write you from Moscow as soon as I find the Internet cafe in Moscow I'll write you.
Oscar You cannot imagine what is in my heart and in my soul!
Thoughts about our meeting make me absolutely happy! I am happy even when I'm alone in my apartment! Do you know why? I know that we will meet Oscar, and I just have no words. My heart completely belongs you! You are my man!
Yesterday I began to knit a sweater for you. It will be my gift. I knit a sweater of Angora wool. Do you like sweaters? Do you like to wear sweaters when it's cold outside? I am absolutely sure that you will like this one.
I'm knitting it with great love. I am doing it so studiously. It will be the best sweater on Earth. :) As for the color - it's slightly dark and white. -
A very beautiful color. I want to knit an inscription the name on the front part of the sweater. Firstly I wanted to knit my name - "Mariya".
But now I want to write your name - Oscar. And I do not know what you prefer.
The name won't be long. Probably male's sweater must be with male's name.
Or maybe you prefer not to have any names on your sweater at all? I can knit simply a sweater, without any inscriptions. You have some time to make the decision - which name you want to see on a chest. If you do not write me about it, I will make the decision myself, but I will not tell you. I will present you with this sweater at the Airport. Do you like my idea Oscar? I assure you, you will be admired! :) . We knited similar sweaters several times; and we used the pictures from modern magazines of clothes as a base . But your sweater will be the best! Because I will do it with special love. It will be one of my gifts for you! helped me so that I have time to finish it before my arrival to you! Oscar could you tell me the size of your chest, and the length of your hand from a shoulder up to a wrist? Or simply a size of clothes that you wear? It will help me! By the way, as well I will bring you a small Russian souvenir! And some other souvenirs for other people who are dear for you! I hope you will be glad! I do not know how to thank you for everything. You've changed my life completely Oscar. I am so happy.
Now I should finish the letter :( Wish me good luck :) I wish you a successful day. If you know how it is lonely here without you...

With Love
Your Mariya.

Letter 10

Hi Oscar! How glad I am that I have an opportunity to write you now.
My dear Oscar! I have bad news! I became the drug addict! And my drug is you Oscar! :) I have a little time. I came here only to write you some lines. I don't have even one free minute. Now each minute of my day is devoted to you Oscar! Every minute of my day I use to come our meeting true. Every minute of my day I think of you and about our meeting.
I give all my diligence and forces to meet you. I read your letters and cried, because they touched my heart and soul. You hit me in the heart.
I cannot find the words to express all my feelings. I cannot find the words to explain what I feel. You won my heart. Nobody could do that before.
I am happy, that I have found you. I have already found happiness. If I see you face to face, I will go mad. Well, I think that a new feeling was born the in my heart. This feeling is called ...
No, I will not tell you it yet. I will say it when I meet you. I will explain it when I see your deep eyes and when you see mine, and when we hug each other Finally, I got almost all the papers today!!! I am definitely going to Moscow!
It is the most important point for me. I have been preparing for this for so long.
After the interview at the Embassy I will find out the final decision! I don't want to say "IF", but it is really a very difficult and tense moment. And I am simply not sure if I have enough confidence and self-control. But I have to calm down. My worry and fear are our enemies.
I think I am ready. I feel that I can do everything well, and we will definitely meet! And now just be with me in your thoughts! I need it.
I really need your support. I'm so nervous and stressed. I want to put my head on your knees and feel your warm hand on my cheek. For the sake of it I am ready to collect all my forces and reach the goal!!!!!! My family and friends help me greatly, they wanna see me happy.
My door had been restored at last.. But I can't feel safe.
However I am well because I am thinking of you Oscar! It helps me overcome difficulties.
Last night Maria came to my place and she decided to bake a cake,- just to relax after a difficult day. You know we created a new recipe and started the preparations. I wish you saw this cake! There is not on Earth any cake with such a number of components like this! :) Between the layers of soft gentle biscuit we placed mush of kiwi and bananas.
The sour cream with a strawberry and juice of fresh lemon was turned into magnificent cake-cream. We decorated the cake with a cherry, and when we were going to taste our cake, we suddenly realised that we hadn't given the name to it. I do not know if there is such a tradition in your country ,in Russia each cake has a name, for example - "Cinderella", or "Ant Hill" or "Autumn Waltz". So we began to look attentively at our cake, and think what name is suitable for this cake. Maria began to offer various names - "Palette" or "Rainbow". But I said that all those were too banal and ordinary. There are millions of cakes with similar names. Then she offered "Flying Hippopotamus" or "Drunk Fakir"! I asked her - why "Drunk Fakir"? And she answered that it was unusually, and there is hardly a country in the world where you would find a cake with the similar name! :)
But I said that it was too foolish! Maria offered dozens of names, but I found them either too foolishly, banal, or too ordinary, uninteresting. Finally Maria said: "All right Mariya, if you are so clever, maybe you will offer anything not banal, unusual, not foolish and interesting?" And then I answered: "Look at this cake! This cake is appetizing just like Oscar!!!! I want to name this cake - Oscar!":)
I wish you saw Maria at that moment! She fell onto a floor and began to laugh loudly! I could hardly stop her! She said: "Mariya, you are an absolutely crazy Russian woman, but I love the name Oscar!!!!" :))
We laughed loudly together the whole evening, we drank tea and ate the delightful cake with the name Oscar!!! :) I hope you are not offended that I called the cake your name? It is a beautiful, sweet, gentle, and very tasty cake!!!
sorry, Oscar, I have to go now. I hope you dream and think of me as often as I do it! :) I shall write you before my departure to Moscow.
Please, write me the letter! I beg you, do not forget about me now! :)
and, tell me that you wait for me with impatience :) Please, tell me that you are dreaming to embrace me at the airport! :)
Oscar, if a lady wanted to be with you while your beloved woman won't see you, what would you tell that lady? Forgive me, I have to go. But only because I want to meet you as soon as possible!!!!:)
Your Darling Mariya!


Letter 11

Hi, my Oscar! My dear, excuse, for a delay of the answer! I even do not know what to tell first. I simply hope that you will be happy! The most important, finest news - I did it! I got the visa! I am very happy Oscar!!!!
My prince I have not stopped on it and later we with my girlfriend at whom I have stopped in Moscow have gone to office of this airline, company that reserves airway tickets. I asked them how I can reach Madrid and how much it costs. They've told me that the roundtrip flight to your airport cost 1187 US dollars. It was too expensive for me and I've asked them to find the cheapest variant. And they've offered. It would be on the April 9 I have learned, that cost of tickets up to in one party will make 385 dollars, I was wondered if it was possible to reserve a ticket and to pay for it a part of the funds this time and the other part later, because other people can buy the cheap ticket and I'm not. But they've refused and I was in despair! I've asked them to help me so long time that tears have come to my eyes! And they've agreed! I have learned, that now return tickets are necessary for the proof of that I independently can return to Russia.
But there is an opportunity to change return the ticket on money in your country, or to change date. To me have told, that if will take return tickets the discount at a rate of 5% is given, it turns out that 385+385=770 dollars and will subtract 5% these are that will make 770 dollars, but still it is necessary to add to this sum of 10% from cost for registration of tickets and meal, it will turn out 832 dollars, 6:45 am Depart Moscow (SVO) Arrive Madrid Barajas Airport (MAD) 10:40 am April 9
I will give you my flight number information, as soon as i have it in my hand. The dollar exchange rate has fallen in our country and it is the cheapest tickets of an economic class, is cheaper a way to arrive to you I is not present. It was the best variant for me. They have told that I can pay a part of money now, and the other part later. it is possible, but I will be limited by term. And if I will not pay the full cost of the ticket within of this term, I will lose already nested money. I have agreed because it is the only chance for me, because I must give to anti-emigration committee a data about my payment. By this moment I had only the concrete sum of money which I had after all my expenses. I paid 550 USD. But it was not enough for them. In a panic, all what and I could do - I pawned my gold earrings and rings In a pawnshop and I got 178 USD. That is all I could do.
I know that probably I simply must tell that I can't come to you because I haven't the remaining sum. I know that I promised to do all by self, and I was sure that I can. I did not want to ask you. But after I did everything I did, I cannot simply tell that I will not come to you. I have passed through so many difficulties, and I have overcome the most difficult.
But all the same I have disgusting feeling that I could not fulfill the promise.
I am always ready to do all what is possible,- to fulfill my promises, but at the same time I understand that any person could get in such a situation.
To get the visa and all papers I have spent much more money than I expected.
But people were ready to help me only if I will pay them. I paid more than 500 dollars to get all documents, I paid in municipal committee, in the ministry. Even officers in army garrison have compelled me to pay for their help. I did not expect all this, but up to the last moment I was sure that I still can make everything. I expected that I can get a vacation payment. But I have received only a part. We get other part a vacation payment in three weeks. Besides, I have been compelled to buy new windows for my apartment. But I cannot leave my apartment with broken windows. And of course I have been compelled to pay much for it. I feel so guilty. I was sure that nothing can prevent our meeting. But I must pay remaining sum. It is 281usd (187euro). And I must pay funds before April 8, morning. Otherwise I will lose my nested funds and our jewelry will be sold out simply in vain. I know that I should not ask you, and I am very ashamed to do it. And maybe I really simply had to tell you that I can't meet with you because I could not provide my travel completely.
But I cannot simply refuse our meeting because then all my diligence, forces, nerves, means will be spent in vain. I understand that it is big sum to lend me. You are not obliged to help me. And 500 dollars which I have spent to get the visa, and 550 $ that I have given for the ticket also I restored a windows in an apartment before departure. It all are huge funds for me. But I want you to know that I have given everything not for the sake of myself, but for the sake of us, for the sake of you and me. And I was happy all this time. If you want to meet me, to help me to make our meeting, please, transfer funds to the help before April 8, morning.
I do not know if you want to help me or already not.
But i think you have told that I should let you know if there is anything you can do to help me. I believe you even though I am afraid to ask. But I have no other exit. I need you Oscar.If you can help me I will tell you what I have found out. Here we have transfer systems.
And I have addressed to the most convenient bank. I have been recommended that they use the systems "MoneyGram.com" and "Riafinancial.com same Contact-sys.com". .
Or Western Union, but it is worse.
They have told that it's all, the West systems. And there I can receive your help very fast and It will be absolutely safe. You should transfer them into any office(bank) here in Moscow for my name -Kuzminih Mariya. For an example, near there is an office of Contact: Moscow AK BARS Bank; The Barklaya st, 10 a; Moscow, 121096 Russia.
or an office of "MoneyGram"-Sberbank;Krasnopresnenskaya Naberezhnaya 2-1.Moscow 103274 Russia.
I send you the view of my ID document. If the additional data will be necessary for you. There I have been told, that to get the money, we must tell to employee of bank(agent) your full name, your full address, exact sum which I should receive and some confidential numbers - Reference Number.
You will get this number in your office if you will send your help.
Only with presence of all this information I can get your help.
I will give you back all your funds at the earliest opportunity probably in 2-3 weeks. I think about you Oscar all the time! I think about a meaning of funds, and I'm very sad if these papers can prevent people to meet each other. In most cases the funds play a main role in the life but it's not right! I do not know what answer I will get from you Oscar. I very much am afraid that you will not help me. But I want to tell, that I really need you, and I simply can't endure the thought that I did almost everything, but I will not meet you. I have given all my forces, but together we are stronger.
I need the 187 euro to come to you and be happy together.
Are you with me?

Write to me soon!
With love, Your Mariya