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Letter(s) from Alena Milaya to Frank (USA)
Hello to you, my dearest John!!!
I am so sorry that I did not answer you yesterday, dear. I was worrying about you so much because I knew that you would worrying as well because of my silence but I could not come to the translation company yesterday because I was working....Yes, I have found the job...It is a temporary one and the one I do not like but I do not have another choice because I need money so much. You are not able to help me now and the government is not going to wait for a month...My father can not help me any more as well. He has problems with the job and the flat he has to rent for himself and my mother. So, I have decided that I need to work for. The prices are so high here that it is impossible to live but I am trying! Of course I do not want to stay here any more, I do not want to live here and there is not any thing which can make me change my decision...if only you could forget me but I am sure that it would not happen, am I right?! I do hope that you will give me the chance to escape from here in a month or I will not stand this life any longer. Oh, I have forgotten to say that I sell fish on the market. Is difficult for me because I am not very good in math and so on but...there is not any other job I can earn even 50 USD. I have to pay for the flat, for the electricity, gas and water supply?! So, my dear John, I hope that you will forgive me for the day of silence.
John, honey, can you call me today at about midday (12 - 14 pm by Ukrainian time) I will be able to speak with you then. But you should know that I will wait for your call because I can have a break for dinner at this period of time and I can use some minutes for our communication, honey))) I miss your voice so much. Dear, I know that the internet is full of bad people and I have heart a lot of bad stories about foreign man but I have decided to listen to my heart, John! It tells me that you will never hurt me and I totally trust you and I will be so thankful to you if you can listen to your heart as well but not the gossips, ok?! I do not need your money but your love!!!
Tell me more about the things which can make you happy, ok?! Open your inner world for me. Lets forget about our outer and every day problems but try to understand each other souls more and better, ok?! What is your favorite book?! Film?! main hero?! I need to know everything about you because i want to make you happy, my dear John!!!
Hello to you my dearest John!!!
I am so so happy that I have finally received the possibility to write you!!! It seems to me that I have been waiting for it for ages)))
Thank you, John, for your trust and support. I do appreciate it very much. You can not even imagine how difficult it was for me to ask you for help because I have used to be an independent lady in all senses of the word but now the situation is so terrible that I forgot about my pride and asked you to help me because I was afraid of losing the contact with you forever! And as a result we are together now and I think it is amazing, do you agree with me?! But you should know that I have received just one transfer of 50 USD (MTCN 0553038559) and the second transfer of 50 USD I was not able to receive because you have sent me the wrong MTCN 03808974067, it contains 11 numbers but I need only ten. I will be so glad if you can check the information and send me this transfer one more time. I want to buy some fruits and meat for the Easter because it is really difficult situation here, John! I can tell you but only of you wish, ok?!
How are you, honey?! Is everything ok with you and your health? What about the papers your son does not want to sign? What about your headaches?! I am worrying about you, John! I want to help you but I do not know how((( John, tell me everything you have on your mind and in your heart, ok?! I would like to know what you think about us and if you see us together in future? You see that I am interested in you very much and I do not want to lose you in any way. I know that we have all the chances to become a pair of two beloveds who will always love and respect each other. And I also know that you have been looking for such a relationship, am I right? You are a man who likes simple things in life and who prefers being honest all the time to lies and it is really important for me because I am the person with the same point of view. I adore your attitude towards me, John, I adore your letters and your sincere emotions there...Our communication has already become a part of my life and I want love can appear between us and become a part of our life. What do you think about it, honey?!!
I will be waiting for your answer impatiently, my dear man))) It seems to me, John, that you have charmed me with your letters and I do not know what to do...I can not stop thinking about you but I like it.
Please, be free to ask me everything you want, ok?! lets become closer and closer to each other. If we could be together this Friday what would you like to do? I wish to know what kind of thing can make you extremely happy and which one it is better to forget)))) Take care, John!!! Kissing you tenderly....
Hello to you, my dearest John!!!
First of all I would like to say that it was amazing for me to speak with you yesterday. Of course I could not understand everything but I was pleasantly surprised that you could tell me some words in Russian and I did my best to speak with you, honey! You have an amazing voice and I adore your laugh!!! Thank you one more time for such a surprise!
I understand that you are worrying about me and want us to meet in Kiev. Everything is possible and I just need to make the permission and book a bus ticket but I need at about 250 USD for it. It is possible to make for a short period of time if a new phase of this war does not begin. Of course as a citizenship of Ukraine, with an Ukrainian ID I have all the rights a normal citizen has in his country. I can live there, find a job there and even be given a humanitarian help there but why haven't I moved to Kiev earlier because I do not have money to pay for a rent flat. It is necessary to rent a flat there and pay for two or three months at once and if I do not have 250 USD to make a permission and buy a bus ticket to rent a flat in Kiev is unbelievable thing for me. John, honey, this war has ruined all my life!!! If I could leave this place it would be a start of a new life and I want it to be connected with you only!!! Ok?! And I need to underline that I felt a chemistry between us even earlier that you did!!!
I am so sorry but this letter is going to be small. I have to go to the local government today because they want to switch all modern conveniences off. I do not want to live in a cold, dark flat without any water. I have to make something but I am in a panic, dear...Thank you so much that you are thinking about me and I am sure that everything will be all right but I can not find the solution of my problem. I will try to borrow 250 USD but I am not sure if I can do it. So, honey, I need this day to solve the problem or my weekend will be totally dark and cold. Please, do not worry about me, ok?! I am thinking about you all the time. You are everything for me now because if I do not have you in my life now I will be totally depressed and at the moment I have a hope for a better future full of love and care and you can give me these things, I am sure in it)))
Sweetheart, it is difficult for me to ask but if you could help me with the money to pay for the debt I would be so thankful for you. You see that I do not need anything else, I mean good clothes or cosmetics because staying without gas, water and light will make my life impossible here. I know that as soon as we meet you will save me from all the problems but at the moment I need to live here and I do really need your help, John!!! I hope that I have not offended you. I wish you to have a great weekend and please do not forget about me, ok?!!!
I will comment every word of your letter in my next one because I have to hurry, dear! I am going to beg the government to give me some time but the place I live in is the one which does not have any law so...I am afraid I can lose but I will try and I should try....Please do not forget about me during the weekend, ok?!!!
P.S. If the manager of the translation company has advised you something you can easily follow her advice because I totally trust her.
I love you...Your one and only Ali
Hello to you, my dearest John!!!
Hello, the love of my life!!!
The weather is so nice today! It is about +15 degrees and the sun is shining brightly) The city is full of people, the buses go back and forward...the traffic lights work in a proper way and each of person has his own things to be dine. I can see smiles on peoples' faces and it seems to me that there was not any war in our region and that it will never happen again with our people! I felt happiness for a second but then a strange noise ruined my dream and I saw the OSCE cars and as far as I understand they were in a hurry and that was why the soldiers tried to make the traffic easier for them and they said a shout to the other drivers to change their destination and use another way to go to the place they need. Maybe it is a normal situation for our region but it has come me back to reality at once. My mood has become worse a little bit and then I went directly to the market to buy some milk and I saw a granny asking for the money. Oh, this made me really angry with the politicians all over the world and with our new government. I am glad that our city is trying to survive and who knows maybe in ten years nobody remember about the war but it will stay in my mind and my heart forever!!! Do you know that reason I have started talking about it in my letter?! The reason is you, my love!
You are the person who helps me every day, every minute and every single to believe in a better future, to dream about calm life full of happiness and love! Yes, the sun shine and crown in the street have made me dream for a second and you help me to forget and do not notice bad and dirty things which are happening here every day! I am here alone but I feel you hand in my hand all the time. I feel that you stand behind me and nothing hurts me in my life! Thank you so much, my love! You can not even imagine how important it is for me. I know that as soon as we are together and you have the chance to look into my eyes you will see all my feelings there and understand me at once. I love you so much, you are my life now, you are my world now!!
John, sweetheart, I am so sorry that I could not speak with you that day in a proper way. I was really tired because of my new job. But I wanted to hear your voice so much and told you everything i could and want but my phone was discharged. You see that I have not paid the debts for the utilities and I am living without any electricity in my flat. This is the situation. So, I have to go to my friend from time to time to make my phone alive again. As to the job, to be honest I hate this job so much that it is hard to explain and the problem is not with the smell of fish...I did not want to tell you about it but I can not be silent any more. The person who is the owner of this terrible fish business, I just do not know how to call it in another way, is the man. He pays me 15 hrn (at about 0,6 USD) per hour. I have to work from 8 am till 3:30 pm. So, you can count my salary per day.
It is practically nothing but I can save coin by coin to pay the debts because it is too hard to live without light...So, it is not the main thing I want to tell you about. He is ready to pay me 30 hrn per hour but he needs my attention. He is not a good man and I know it. John, darling, I have told him that I have my beloved man and that I do not need any extra money from him, just my salary and that is all. He says that it is ok but yesterday I had a shortage. Do you know what it means?! It means that I have to pay him all the money (the sum of the shortage) from my salary. I know that it was not my fault because I checked everything twice before give the good and take the money. I think that it was he who did it specially. Ok, my love, I am so sorry that I have told you about it because I know that you will be worrying about me but I have to work here because it is not easy to find another job and I do really need money. But I am sure that everything will be all right, darling!!!
Sweetheart, if you place your head on my beating heart you will hear I AM THINKING OUT LOUD!!! I have heart this song before and I have watched the video but of course I could not understand the meaning in a proper way and now I love this song so much! Lets make it our song, John!!!??!! I need it and want it!!!
My love, my phone is an old Nokia with a green screen, so it will be impossible to install any massages there. It does not have the access to the net and it does not have anything in fact. So, this is the situation, sorry.
My dear John, I do not know what is the problem with American ladies.
As far as I understand they have made you think that cooking or going out once per week or keep house clean or make love are the problems for them?! I have not found any thing which can scare me, John! It seems to me that you do not understand what kind of lad I am. I can make everything you want and it will be a smart part I can make for you. And more over I will do it everything with a great pleasure because living a calm and happy life and be devoted to your man is a normal thing, is a happiness for a lady! It is no matter what kind of kitchen do you want to eat today, I will eat everything you want...This is not problem. Fish is not a problem, everything you have told me about is not a problem, John)))
My love, as to the sex))) You will be surprised...I promise you! I think that of two partners love each other and trust each other they should not have any secrets and taboos. So, i will be happy to moan and scream during the night and I will make everything you need to help you to feel the satisfaction))) Dear, i want to love you, take care of you, make love with you and be your friend and I am sure that this answer is enough for you to understand that I am an easy going lady who wants to be with you. We will speak all the time and you will tell me what you want and what you need and I hope that I will have the same right but belive me there is not any thing in your letter which I do not want to make! I have already told you that I am dreaming to be a devoted wife for you, your passionate lover and tender beloved! Does it suit you?!
Dear, I will be able to write you my letter on Tuesday only. Due to our Orthodox Easter and we will have holidays since Saturday till Tuesday the 14th of April. I will miss you so much, I will think of you all the time and I hope for the same from you)))
forever yours Ali, the lady without fear))) and this is true)))
Hello to you, my dearest John!!!
I am sure that you were thinking about me and even worrying but here I am and I am happy that I can write you, dear! I do understand your situation, John. You can not help me right now due the obstacles in your life. I hope that everything will be all right and you will forget about this process of the divorce once and forever.
John, dear, this letter is going to be short because I have to go to the government again. They have given the time till tomorrow evening but I see that it is not possible for me to find the solution of the problem and I need more time. Honey, I do not want to bother you with my problems, I am so sorry that I have involved you into this story.
Juts try to understand that it is not necessary to belive everything your mass media tells you about our war. You are right that a lot of cars with humanitarian aid come to us practically every two weeks but I received my share as you say last time in the very beginning of September 2014. Practically all the goods from the humanitarian help are sold in the shops and markets. You know that our new government are thieves as the ones sitting in Kiev. Nobody wants to think about our region and our people but try to take their own benefit from everything which is going on here. This i the situation. I am really tired of it, honey! Can you imagine such a life? And you should not do it because you are a lucky man to be born in a normal country but our one is a whore! Yes, I think that it is a whore which does not know what sexual partner to choose: Russia or America, who gives more?!!!
I am so sorry for these words, dear! I hope that I have not offended you with my words. Oh, is it Easter today in your country?! If I am right I wish you all the best and of course a successful end with your divorce. I just want you to be free, my dear John))) I miss you voice so much but I dropped the phone into the water((( It should be repaired tomorrow...I hope so...I hope that I can hear your voice one more time, honey!!! I kiss you, John....missing you with a strong feeling in my heart...
Hello to you, my dearest John!!!
Thank you for your help and support. I do really need it very much!!!
It is really so difficult to live here. Dear, I am living in the territory which is under separatists' control. That is why your country blocks money transfers. There is not any law here, just guns and muscles. The prices on everything become higher and higher every day and I can not find any job because people do not have money to arrange any parties for children. I can not live without fruits and vegetables but I can not afford buying these things. So, thank you, honey, one more time that you have helped me to pay for the translation service and that you are trying to help me more. I have a phone number and you can easily call me, John))) +3 8 063 571 07 42. I will be waiting for your call. Lets try to speak without anybody's help, ok?! Do you remember that I know some words in English?! Of course maybe we will not be able to discuss any important issues for us but you will hear my voice and I will be glad to say: hello, my dear John))) And then we can arrange a phone conversation with the help of a translator if you need it, ok?!
Thank you for the compliments very much, honey))) It is amazing to see myself on such a huge poster and by the way, you look great as well. I adore your smile)))
John, thank you so much for your understanding and respect towards me.
As to my physical and moral condition...I am a healthy lady, I am not hungry but as I have already told you I can not eat fruits and a lot of vegetables now because they are so expensive. I can not drink normal coffee because it is even more than just expensive for me. I need to pay for the electricity, gas and water supply and I have a debt at about 250 USD. Of course it is impossible for me to pay for these things and I do not do it but I am afraid that one day I wake up and want to wash my face but the water will be switched off and the same situation will happen with gas and electricity as well. I have two warnings from the organization which deals with modern conveniences. This is my life, John! I am healthy and full of energy but depressed and afraid of a new phase of the war because this ceasefire can be stopped every time. I just can hope for the better, honey! As to my spiritual condition, I would like to underline that this is the one thing I can be satisfied with))) I am happy because I have found you, John! I am not communicating with any other men and I deleted my profile from a dating site when I met you, John. This is truth and I have nothing to hide as well. I am interested in you and even more than that and I have warm feelings towards you and I like it, I like the way it growing))) Of course I see the future for us, for our couple and for our common life and even more than that. I mean that I can think about happy future for us. I want us to meet and kiss, John!!! I know that we will not go to Church after first meeting or after finishing this letter but I do not need any other ending, just this one. I want us to try to overcome all the obstacles together and create a calm and comfortable life full of love and respect towards each other. What do you think about it, John?!
I know, dear, that everything will be all right with the papers and you will finish all the things in a proper way. I am sure in it because you are a smart and strong man and I will not be tired of telling you these things) Your ex-wife will definitely pay you!
I like the idea that we can spend all the money together) I mean that I do not need anything before and after marriage with you...I do not even want to think that your will leave this world and I do not want to think about my future than...I want my future to be connected with you, your breathing, your laugh and kisses, ok! This is my demand, by the way, John)))
Tomorrow Friday, my dear John, I want to go to Authors and have a dinner with you. Yes, we will listen to live music and dance for a while and the most important thing is that we will go home and go to bed together!!! TOGETHER is a main word!!! By the way, John, I want this Friday evening become reality in some time....I want it so much!!! Oh, I can take that white dress every evening and every morning to make you love me more and more, to make you burn because of passion, ok))) Oh, it was taken in Sochi, the Crimea, summer 2013)))
John, can you bring your heart from America to me?! I need to make a permission to leave this place or I will need to go by taxi through Russia and then to Ukraine. It is difficult but this is civil war even though nobody wants to accept it. So, I will try to find all necessary information for me to get to Kiev and I will tell you about it tomorrow, ok?!!! I am thinking about you, John all the time...I want to hear you breathing and I want to hug you so much!!!!