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Letter(s) from Svetlana Korolewa to Steven (USA)
Hi Chil. Thank you for your letter. How are you today? I'm OK. Today we had as usual cold weather, what weather do you have now? You know that my dream to settle down at some warm place someday, but I should to say that it's really beautifull here even now. When I am not working, I am trying to enjoy life. Just enjoy. I don't want to put all my life to any special purposes like: to be a president, make a lot of money, or something like this. And now I would like to tell you some things about my city. In my city lives about 350000 people. In our city have are 5 higher educational institutions. I asked the manager in the Internet Cafe about web page in the Internet about our city. He has given to me link to the site about my city. You can learn more about our city use it links http://www.arh.ru/~fs/bigmap.htm Are you seeing map my city at this web page? You can see that river separable our city on some parts. It's river Dvina. It very cold river always. Have you the river near you or lake? Manager give to me some photos our city. I was very grateful to the manager. In the center our city we have central park. I like visit this park together with Ekaterina when i have enough free time. We very much like to walk in this park because it is more similar to the forest, and there always fresh air. This park is near off my house. Please told more information about your city and about place where do you live. I will wait your letters with great impatience.
Hello closer Chil I'm very glad to see your new letter. It makes very good mood for me. You can represent my ordinary day when I have some work. I very much get tired after that, but I am always happy I overlook about my problems and weariness when I again speak with you. Really I start to understand, that it is very interesting to me to speak with you and I am glad, that we could find acquaintance in this big world. Excuse that I did not answer your questions I simply them have not understood. If to you not difficultly that repeat please them again. I hope you divide my pleasure. I send you some photos my city in my last letter I'm hope that you like it. You see the church ? I would like to asked you trust in God? I'm trust in God. I think that God looking on the us and think how people can love each other and I think that God always help they. If they really love each other. Because the God it for me really big love for all things in all over the world. Can you divide it with me? I never had a lot of real happiness in my life. I have early found independence and I early had a appearing problems. Nevertheless I am proud, that I could put the purpose in my life and now I can bring kindness for people. It really is very pleasant, when I can see some people which quickly correct their health and thank me for it! Probably I could be proud, but I too modest for this purpose. It is very pleasant for me to tell to you about my life. It does me more open to you. And I start to be pleased similarly to the young girl who meets the new person in her life. I always does desire to find out about you more and more also! Speak me about your ideas. It is always very interesting to me. Write me soon Chil. And wills God will be with you.
I do not know as you to prove that I is real. I as understand your share of risk of your heart!!! But I only have opened to you the heart and the soul. Likely I needed to tell to you, that I leave for you the option. Whether to trust me completely and then to be happy or to not trust... It is your choice. If you to me any more do not write, I shall understand you! I have no purpose to receive from you money but if I shall not have the necessary sum of money cash I cannot receive neither the visa nor the passport, and I also cannot buy tickets up to the USA. I can explain to you to you in more details why cash as in the beginning I should make my passport are necessary for me, then to me will write a letter of recommendation which will be sent to Moscow for reception of my visa. This letter will help me at reception of my visa. Without this letter I shall receive the visa about 2-4 months, and at presence of a letter of recommendation for Foreign embassy I can receive my visa for 1-3 weeks! Without the visa I cannot travel in the USA!!! Now I shall stop my explanations. I hope, that you will make a correct choice, irrespective of result of your choice.
Hello my Chil. I happy to write to you again. I all time think of you. You are always with me, in each my step, in each my deal, always. I really can't understand how have you done it. You should to teach me, then I will use it on you. Please don't think that you makes me felt that you don't trust me, I just put warning - please trust me, or not trust me, because I don't want to be hurted with your mistrust. My parents were very happy together, and I really hope may be that someday I .. and you?! Will be same happy couple. They meet each other by regular mails, when my father had service in army. He finished service in army and they met each other in person, only after couple of letters, and fall in love completely. They really loved each other, and was able to enjoy each deal together and each day which they lived together. I don't know that will happend with us, but I just remember that story, and it put happy smile on my face. How it could be sweet to be all together. If not to think about it, you may be not noticed it. But there are emptiness in the heart, then you have no beloved person near you. And this emptiness can't be filled with job, joy, food or something else. It's emptiness in soul, and I truly feel that you are filling it. I feel myself so strange and unusuall. Just peace came to me from heaven, and I enjoyed it. I imaged all us together sitting here, I closed my eyes and just enjoy that feeling... some later fire in fireplace get down... and we came home, I felt myself so lonely in this cold world, under moon and snow around, but I have all of us in my heart and this is warming up me. I am so happy. You made me happy. I am wait your letter with impatience.
Hello my Chil. What did happen with you? Why did you not write me? I do not understand what is going on? May be I have told you something that could be unpleasant for you? Please write to me if you don’t want to communicate with me!
Hello dear Chil. I met you in Internet and you really do brighten my life. I am so happy that you came into my life, and I can only pray God that he connected us. I didn't believe in destiny too much, but seems that I have to start believe! I want to tell you about my dayly life here, seems it will be usuall days. I wake up at about 6:00 am at morning, taking bath, and prepare to breakfast. Then I waking up my father and feeding her with something good food, but light. We always have breakfast together, and talking about nothing. After breakfast I go in my work, it's about 7:30am. I like to start work early, and lately finishing my work (about 5-6pm sometimes). At the dinner, I usually trying to prepare something very taste and special, which consist from three parts. Not sure how to describe that dishes, but believe me it have good taste. I think that you would like it too. As finishing my work day, I am going through all the things which should be done, and observe how much work done already. After that I go in the Internet cafe what to get a mail from you. Then I am sitting at home and writing report about current day. After I writing reply for you, though I writing and translating it during day, each free minute. At evening I have supper, and At late evening, I just sitting and dreaming with you. Oh, I am dreaming about time then we all will be together, I am dreaming how we could sitting at the beach and looking to the sunrise, or sunset, or sitting at the winter near fireplace. Thinking about each other and understand each other without words. We are just all parts of one big family, and we are together. We are talking how it's wonderful to be together forever. We trying to remember that there are was the time when we live not together, and these memories just in deep fog. It's seems for us that we always was together. You want to divide it with me? What are your usual day Chil? I'll wait your answer soon with great impatience.
Dear Chil, I am glad to receive from you the letter, it's really joy me to reply for you now. May be it's only sounds funny, but I just getting joy reading your mails. I really understood your letters perfectly, and I like to read it. Maybe I image fairytale for me, but I feel very very good about you and I that you feel same about me, I think that you put in your words less than you really think, just because words can't get all our minds and dreams. And I truly believe that it can be perfect as only it's possible. Oh it will be so nice if we can to meet with each other face to face. Hear each other and feeling too. This moment I regret about not perfect understanding English more than ever. And I wish to see your face and talk with you directly, that my desire. I really see no difference from that country will be my future man. The God, who created this world, didn't create geographics borders, and I think that in all things wills the God. I know that when I will found my only man then I will move to him to any place at this world. I sure that good peoples can live at any place, especially when they love together. What are you can tell me about all my words? It really important for me. I'm hope that you feel too.
My dear Chil . I had no internet connections some days, and I so missed you. But I got your e-mails and will send this letter in few minutes. I just incredible happy that I have met you, and can only hope that you will reply to me soon. Shame on my head, but I was unable to do something to connect with you. I am so much understand about you and me these days, I really can't live without you! All the last days I constantly dreaming about you, I can't live without you already. You came into my life like hurricane, and changes all my minds. You are beautiful and kind, and you are constantly in my head. You really changed my life, you gave to me hope on sweetest, happiest future. I am really romantic person, but I never even thought that I can be so romantic like now. I composed that letter several days ago, and sending all it in one, I really hope that you will get it. I decided that I will take vacations after that work, I am still not sure that time it will be complete, but I really want to meet you on my vacations (which I will get after it) if you will have a wish and possibility to make it possible. I know that I could be too rushing, but I know myself - I am not rushing now, and only if you will have wish and possibility you can get me into your arms very soon. I really reading your letters between words and between lines, and I am truly sure that I see your beautiful soul in your letters. I want to feel you in reality, I want to feel your touches. I want to see your eyes, and sink in your deep eyes. I want you to show me all around you and I wish to see everything that you will want to show me. I want to pass through your eyes to your soul, and wish you to make the same thing. I believe that nothing can't replace one real meeting. And I wish to meet you. If you have same wish and possibility, tell me about it, I will get know how we can do it. I talked about you with my father. We have talked a lot, and he feels very good about you. I know that may be I am hopeless romantice, but I truly believe that our meeting through internet is the best thing which could happend to us. Kiss you and hug you.
My darling Chil,I am sorry, that so for a long time did not write. I was in hospital. I was sick flu and could not contact you through Internet-cafe. I am so incredible happy! You are so cute, care and kind. I just can't express my feelings and when I will meet you it will be just lighting and big explosion of my feelings. I love you, and my heart are beating with highest speed. I feel things which I never even supposed to be able to feel, it so strange. But it's so great. LOVE! YOU ARE MY REAL LOVE! You are always with me, my life be came easier because you help me in each of my deal just with your presense in my minds. I spoke with my father about you. He is so happy for me, he the happiest person in the universe! He told me that he had the good friends in travel agency. It will help me to get information about our meeting if you want it. I can write you about it in my next letter. My heart is making booom...booom and knocking to the different sides and it seems to me, that it will throw into your hands right now! I wish to see your face right now, I miss you so... The weather changed greatly here, and now it becomes warmer. I want to meet you, because I love you. My friends telling me that they never see me so lucky and crazy and so happy . They envy to me. I am so happy! Darling, I really believe that we found each other because we are destined, because it is our destiny and we must KNOW that WE FOUND TRUE LOVE. I am constantly thinking of you, each of my thoughts about you make my heart warm, anything that I think it only you. I clearly understand your emotions and feelings, it's just same like mine. Oh dear, you change everything inside me and outside me. So sorry but right now I must go and finished this letter for you. I will wait your next letter very much.
With all my heart your Svetlana.
Good day my love Chil!!! How are you??? I can't live without you any day and any moment. Today I went to the Internet cafe to look your letters in my e-mail box. The day is so long without you. It is really so! I would like to be with you now, to look in your eyes and to feel the palpitation and the beats of your heart. I can't live without you any instant, any day, any night, any minute and even any second of my life. I have already said you about it, I want to be sorry that I am repeating the same things, but I am full of the feelings and emotions and I can't be silent. I really feel that I need you. You fill my life with the happiness and pleasure. I can't imagine my life without you. I hope that you feel the same to me. Today I saw the most beautiful and sweet dream about our wonderful love. I was flying to you by the large comfortable plane and then I arrived to you. You met me with a big magnificent bouquet of red roses. These are my favorite flowers. I was in a beautiful white dress and you in a black tail coat and we were similar to prince and princess. I was very happy to see you. I ran to you and I rushed to your embraces and everything was turned around us. It was a wonderful moment. It seemed to me that it was happening in real life. After that we rode to your home on a white horse. It was the house of our happiness. Then you introduced me to your relatives. They were very glad to see us together. After that (I do not know how it could happen), suddenly we found our selves on the seaside, which bewitched us by its beauty. It was at the late night. Everything around was in the perfect balance, in harmony: the birds, the stars, the sky and an infinite surface of water - all nature. It was so magnificent that I detained my breath and could not breathe and felt that you felt the same. But suddenly my sweet dream was interrupted by the alarm clock. I love you very much and I should tell you about it. Your love accompanies me every instant of my life when you are not with me.I really do not know what will happen when we have our meeting and what it could resemble. But I know that in any case I would be happy it was not it would do me happy because I shall see and feel you face to face. Excuse but now I should go. I am waiting for our meeting with great impatience. Goodbye, my dear Chil, I kiss and embrace you!!!...
P.S. I kiss you one more time. I kiss you again!!!
Hi my love Steve. Excuse me that I could not write earlier. With me there was a misfortune I has got in accident. I have lain in hospital almost two weeks. To me performed operation. Now I feel very well and I can write to you. I am very glad to this. As now at us there comes spring it is time to love and hopes. I hope that you understand me. Just now I cannot write to you much and frequently because I have spent all savings for operation. I now shall start to work again and can in a month to me will pay then I can write to you more often. And now at me did not remain money even on products. I spoke the girlfriend that she has written to you, but when the girlfriend went to the Internet of cafe it has been closed. As soon as I have come to the senses I at once was asked that me have released that I could write, tell to you that I am alive and with me everything is all right, that I also strongly love you and very much on you I miss. So you do not suffice me. I very much our meeting in fact spring it was time to love. I do not know can for this time you have found another, but I ask you answer me the letter and tell how are you and so I want to hear you and to see, embrace and kiss you at all do not represent. Now I finish the letter, I hope that you understand me and write to me soon. I love you your Svetlana.
Hello, my dear Chil!
How are you? And if you want to know how am I? - I am o'k, but I can't live without you any more. I always think of you. Nothing can distract me from thoughts and dreams of you. I think a lot about us and about our future. My desire to see you in reality is becoming greater and greater with time. I'm crazy about it. I need you how I need the air. My heart begins to beat quickly, when I come nearer to the Internet Cafe. I wait your letters with great impatience. There was the emptiness in my heart, which couldn't be filled of something. It seemed to me that my life was finished... You can understand me. I had to overcome very difficult situations in my life. I had to be strong. I had ... but I was so tired of it. I think that deserved to be happy. I am tired to suffer... Everybody wants to be happy and everybody has the right on it that is why once upon a time I decided to change all my life and to try to find my happiness. Don't think that this choice was easy. But I decided and... I am not sorry for it - I found you and you changed all my life, you lighted it. And I want to tell you thank you for it. You inhaled the life to in me, thank you. I want to feel that you are real. I want to feel that my happiness is real. I am worry that you don't feel something like my feelings. I am afraid that you are not serious in your feelings for me. I am sure that everybody feels something like, because everybody is afraid to lose dear man. It is very-very important for me what do you think about it. Please, write something about it. I don't know what will be with us in the future, but I am sure I will not to be sorry for the acquaintance with you. You made my life happy and I thank the Destiny and the God for it. Take care of yourself.
I kiss you. Your Svetlana...
Hello, my dear Chil! Thank you very much for your letter. I like it. How are you? How is your mood? And my mood is perfect and wonderful, because today is so nice day. Fine nature makes good mood. I feel something new in my heart. I have never felt something like that. I want to life, I want to dream. I fly. My heart is so hot, it beats very often. I don't understand what is happening with me. Something new is living in my heart and it changes all my minds. What is it? - I have been thinking a lot about it. And I has come to a conclusion that it is YOU... You have changed all my life, all my minds, all my feelings and you have changed myself... You have made me happy. I want to live. My life has found sense again. I have the new purposes in my life, I have the dreams. Some times ago I couldn't think that it would so. I was like everybody and my life was so usual: one day is similar to another. And suddenly everything has changed. I can not believe up to the end that it is the reality. But I want to believe... I don't want to seem impudent and ill-bred, but I can't wait any more. I want to see you. I think that we must meet in reality. I want to go to your country, to your city I want to go to you. I imagined our meeting. I think it will be wonderful. I dream about it. Please, write me what do you think about it. I don't know what be in the future, what do you feel about me and what will be your actions, but I don't sorry that I said you about my the most treasured dream to meet you. I hope that you share my thoughts and our dream will come true. I will wait your next letter with great impatience! With all my heart to you.
Thank you very-very much for your last letter, I was very glad to get your answer. Today I saw the dream, it was the second my dream about you. Have you ever seen me in your dreams? It was very strange. I found yourself in the old thrown house. It had no any begin and any finish, it was infinite... I was going from room into room and I was trying to find the exit. But all my steps were just futile. I lost all my hopes to come out of this house. Nobody was there. It was the frightening quiet. A lot of candles were burning around and the shades were dancing on the wall. I was afraid, I feel so strange. And then I saw the unusual door. I opened it and... I saw the beautiful garden. There were a lot of unusual exotic birds, flowers and trees. It looked just fantastic. But the most magic thing was the lake in the middle of the garden. Oh, I just can't to describe the beauty of it with help of the words. The small board was staying there. And the man was sitting in it. I was very glad to see anybody in this completely deserted place. I ran to him. And I was so surprised when I saw that it was you. I had fallen in your arms and we kissed. We were staying embracing for a long time. Then we swam somewhere. We were swimming and talking and talking about our feelings, we were laughing a lot. We were together and we were just happy. You were so real. I thought it was in real life... After that we were walking in the park. Suddenly the sky became dark; the strong wind began to blow. The thunder had rung out. I looked around and to you, but there was nobody near me. You suddenly disappeared. I didn't know what to do. I called you. There was no answer... I was so frightened. I was searching for you everywhere but all my attempts were ineffectual. I lost the hope. And the alarm clock has forced me wake up. I understood not at once that it was only the dream. I was in the bed and was thinking a lot about this dream. I understood that you are very dear for me and I am so afraid to lose you. In our country the mind is popular that you begin to appreciate the man, when you understand that you can lose him (her). I thought that I could lose you and I was so afraid of this thought. I understood that I am so become attached to you and I can say more - I fall in love with you. It was the very surprising thing for me and may be for you. I have written you about it. I fell in love again. I love you. And I am not afraid to say you about it. Earlier I had another mind that woman must not say first about her feelings to man. But now I don't want to keep my feeling in my heart, I want to express my feelings. I say you: I love you! I hope that you have the same feelings to me. I miss without you.
Hi my love Chil.
I wish to be near with you for ever. You lit fire in my heart. I am very much excited!!! I trust you.. I can't express my feelings in words too. I learned today that I should travel to Moscow to receive the international passport and the visa that I could arrive to you. I can receive my papers (visa and passport) during two weeks.I think that on this week I can start to travel to Moscow to start to do the international passport and the visa in Embassy. But I can't come to Moscow and to do the passport and the visa without your help, because I haven't enough of money resources. Can you help me? I would be the happiest girl on a planet if I shall be near with you. I want that you were honest with me in the feelings, because I do not want to damage the heart and the feelings. I would like to come to America and have a happy family and house with you. I will spend the rest of my life with you for ever. If we shall live in your house I shall create a domestic cosiness, warmly. I shall care of you and about our happiness. You will be the happiest the man. I can prepare a lot of russian a tasty food. I can meet you and to open to you a door when you will come tired from work. We shall have a happy life. You my destiny. I am very happy.
Good day my dear Chil!!! How are you doing? I need in your help, I need in 140 Dollars for travel to Moscow, also for international passport 150 Dollars, 100 dollars for the visa and 150 dollars to live in hotel The Moscow city. If you will help me, I shall buy the ticket to Moscow on After tomorrow by the plane and to arrive to Moscow. It - ours Destiny and happiness!!!! I feel, that I can spend other part of my life with You. I have gone to bank today and have learned, as you can make a remittance. In bank spoke me, that you can use system of Money Gram of a remittance or the Western Union to make a remittance. As soon as you will help me, I shall begin my trip to Moscow. To do a remittance, you should know my name, my surname and my address. My name - Svetlana, my surname - Korolewa, my address - Arkhangelsk city, Lenin street 25-34. Also I need on your name, your surname, the address and Number the Control Transfers Money is - 10 figures (MTCN number). I thank the god for you, and I hope, that the God will help us. Also our meeting depends not only on the god but also and from you because if you will not start to help me, we can't meet you never. The god has helped us to get acquainted, but now all depends on you and from me. I shall do limiting more probably to meet you, to cover you and to feel your breath. I want to be yours second half, your second heart, breath, oxygen without which the life will seem boring and without intellectual. My heart you speak me that with my love and happiness. You my destiny for ever. I with impatience shall wait for your letter to begin my trip. Please write to me the letter as soon as possible because I can't wait more. I want to kiss you.
Hi my love Steven.I have received your letter and was happy that you have decided to help me. I have told to the daddy that I leave. But when I have gone to bank to receive your help to me have told that you have deceived me. Why you so have acted, why you over me scoff, I very much love you and I want to be with you and you with me so act, as it is not a shame to you. Really you cannot understand my feelings. Write to me soon. I very much love you.
Hi my love Chil.I cannot understand your intentions why all of you deceive time of me? What I to you have made bad, I simply love you and this crime wants to be with you, unless??? It gives you an occasion so over me to scoff??? I that what that the girl small??? I cannot understand one why you already in last 2 letters speak that go and receive my help, and there anything is not present. I yesterday have received your letter and was so is glad, but today I have again gone to bank and there at me looked as a lunatic. To me have told that I cannot understand with the favourite person which wants that I have arrived to it instead of wishes me to help in it. Write to me soon as soon as you can, because I so cannot any more, I very much do not like when deceive. I love you.