Letter(s) from Natalia Islamova to Hans (USA)

Letter 1

Dear Hans,
thank you for letter with comments and news. I also liked your photos. How are you today?
How did you spend your Easter holiday? Mine passed very good. It was good holiday and I spent it with my mother and many relatives came for visit! We painted the eggs and cooked special Easter food. The night from Saturday to Sunday I went to special service in church and lit candle. Today is very good sunny weather. Spring is my favorite time of year, when everything is waking up again from the cold of winter. Life is fresh and new and blossoming everywhere.
Yesterday I saw the movie "Allied (2016)" with Brad Pitt and Marion Cotillard. It is a movie that plays In 1942, where a Canadian intelligence officer in North Africa encounters a female French Resistance fighter on a deadly mission behind enemy lines.
As you already will know is that they will fall in love, get married and raise a family with their daughter. Live is perfect for them till the Canadian officer heard from his superiors that is wife is a German spy. At that moment i think that you get the same situation when some one is telling you that your wife/husband is having an Affair. The clue of the movie is that love is so strong between them in this difficult situation that they even want to die to make the other one happy. It is a very interesting movie to watch especially when you are in a situation where you have the true love and and needs to develop further. I do consider you as my boyfriend and by standing for each other i truly believe that we will be able to overwin the difficulties that life can bring us. Our relationship started with extra efforts that we had to bring to know each other without seeing each other and that gave us the tools to overwin obstacles.
I also hope we can see each other soon. I will try to find an app for us to talk.
I hope you had a good start of new week :)
I send you kisses....
Nat

Letter 2

Good Wednesday! I expected to hear from you today, but I see you didn't write... I guess you are busy. Ok, I will check my mailbox tomorrow. I wish you good day, evening, night.. Take care, Nat

Letter 3

Hello, Hans.
I’m overjoyed at your response and photo. I hope all is fine with you on this week and your mood is good. I am very well. We have weather apocalypse! It was heavy snowstorm for all last day and for all night! Now all the streets are completely white. This weather caused road collapse this morning. We now have 60 cm of snow and it is still snowing outside. I can't believe we received all this snow in the end of April, when the birds came back to their homes and nature started to wake up. I see winter doesn't want to leave us. :(
There seem to be a definite connection between us, which I also find difficult to believe that I would have discovered it on the internet of all places. The manner in which things played out in the end made me come to the conclusion that destiny, a bigger power is responsible for us meeting one another in what was for me a totally unexpected manner and that the internet is just the medium which has made it possible. I definitely did not plan for this to happen, but I am extremely thankful that it did. I see it as a one in a life time opportunity; I’ll do everything in my power not to jeopardise what we have found. I think this type of occurrence is extremely rare and we should both give it every possible chance at succeeding. I think statistically speaking very few people who look on dating sites are as fortunate as we have been. To tell the truth nothing after this experience amazes me anymore as I was contemplating exactly the same thought since removing my profile from the dating site that is. It has served its purpose for now I have found what I have been looking for. I need us to be clear on this: there is nothing that you could do or have done that will ever disappoint me as I want to accept you for who you really are. I hope to have brought some hope, joy and company into your life this far. I hope to in the same manner also open up new frontiers and experience you would have never thought possible. We need not be concerned over the great distance between us, because our world has become a much smaller place thanks to internet and airplanes. It will be one of the best days of my life when I’ll finally meet you in person; and when the time is right and we do meet there will be no need to exchange words as we need only to embrace in one another’s arms. I feel an incredible urge to continue with this and I’m extremely delighted that you have decided to continue with me! You have given me a new optimism towards life and I feel ready to really start living for I have merely only existed until now!
I thought I'd leave you with my favorite quote, From Ralph Waldo Emerson..." What lays behind us and what lays before us are tiny matters compared to what lays within us..."
We’ll never be bored together one day - I promise you that!

Your forever Nat

Letter 4

Good Sunday to you, Hans!
Thank you for email and nice photos.
Hope all is well with you. I am ok, I visited my mother. The weather is still a bit nasty, but it will warm up in the next week. The forecast predicts the temperatures around + 15 C. Next weekend we will have new holiday in Russia, which is called Labor Day. I will be off for work one additional day till May, 2. I hope the weather will be good, because I am planning to have barbecue with my village relatives. :)
I feel like we could be a very good couple, like we match up well with each other in many different ways. Of course it is impossible to ever be certain, when our only contact so far has been through emails. Someday soon we can meet, and we can find out if our chemistry in emails will be the same in person.
I liked how you described your thoughts about that couple who tried to feed each other... It is cute. You know, often I imagine our life together... If we are ever blessed to be a couple I hope we can share all small moments with each other and also our interests and hobbies. We will go to theaters, markets, cinema... We can exercise together, eat healthy and fresh as much as possible. Do you like to have long walks? When it is warm I like to walk 4 to 5 kilometers 4 times a week, not a slow walk but brisk walk. I just need some more inspiration to start with those activities and often I use the excuse that I will start when the weather will become better.
Hope I haven't bored you, I never know what I am going to say to you until I start writing, then I speak words to you from my heart.
And no, I will not cut my hair! :)
Hope you have a wonderful weekend,
Nat

Letter 5

Hello, Hans.
thank you for writing. How are you? I am ok this Thursday. The weather is very nice. Finally we have sun and warm spring temperatures! My work week is coming to the end, tomorrow will be short day, because of the national holiday May, 1. I had good time last evening. One of my girlfriends invited me to theater. She had free tickets. So, I went to watch the spectacle called "Come to my dreams". This is sad story about the people who survived the WW2. The morality: to win you need not only weapon in your hands, but you need to have dear people in your heart, somebody who are waiting for you at home and pray for all nights "come to my dreams..."
I hope soon you will be able to concentrate on your travel plans. I think you should try to learn the most common Russian phrases, so you will not have problems when you come to province. You don't need to be not about Russia. If you know the rules, you should not be afraid to travel to province. The rules are, in public places : never speak english and look at your foot)))) Never look at people in the eyes, never provoke, be polite and smiling... You can be faced to dangerous situations, you know, such people involved in neo-nazism, or nationalism... it is very important to be safe, especially now, because the situation is stressful between USA, Europe and Russia.
For the visa, it seems to be more complicated that I expected. All agencies on the net are warning the customers about visas to Russia : Russia is delivering visas drop by drop, so you have to make the necessary now. Because for tourism visa, you need to prove that you have an hotel. Else, it is a private visit visa, and this is another story... I need to make an official invitation for you, it takes one month to obtain, then, I have to send you the original by postmail (2 or 3 weeks delay), then, you have to go to the russian consulate, give all documents and the delay is about 10/15 days.
I told you that the path is difficult, and the situation now , Ukraine, Europe, USA, Russia makes the things harder but it is ok. We will succeed because we are the best))))
Russian ruble is very weak currency, so of course dollar is stronger. Right now the rate is 1 $ is about 55 rubles.
I am sure we will have good romantic days together. I am passionate woman and I like sex, but here we have a saying here " Sex is 5% of a good relationship and 95% of a bad relationship " which obviously means there is more to a lasting relationship than just sex.
I am fairly sensitive. I want romance, walking hand in hand through the park, nice quiet romantic dinners, cinema, just spending time together, looking in each other's eyes while we're laying in bed together, knowing that we need nothing else. Yup, that's me. I am not afraid to show my feelings... I get tears during movies, you would have to be an emotional brick wall not too...
I hope you can write me back soon. I miss... I know how it feels to expect something from someone and not receive it.
I should finish on this words and have to go now….
Your Nat
P.S. My contact info:
Natalya Islamova
54, 27 Chorsa Street,
Kirov 610000
Russian Federation.

Letter 6

Hi Hans,
Thanks a lot for your email and photos. How are you? How is your health and mood? I am ok, finally have my weekends! My day today has been very very warm and so mainly done some food shopping and also got a couple of items of clothing like tshirts and jogging trousers. I only just got home, so will soon prepare my evening meal. Not to sure as to what to have as of yet, but I will see what I have left in the freezer.
I am going to leave to the village tomorrow morning and as I told I will stay there till Tuesday, so I can't write to you for next two days. I have lots of plans for weekend. As I told I will have barbecue with my mom and some relatives. I will also go to banya and I will relax there. Do you know about Russian banya? It is a small building designed as a place to experience wet heat sessions. The steam and high heat make the bathers perspire. It is really good for health, because all the toxins leave your body.
What more? I want to go to forest and look for first flowers, which are called snowdrops.... They are very cute! I will not take them, because those flowers are rare and I have allergy, so I can't bring them to my home.
I think we can overcome all the obstacles, which are lying between us. I want very much you to be by my side - as a adviser, as a friend and ad a lover. I can't wait to see you in my home. I am glad to hear you are able to get visa. I will be patient untill we remove all kind of obstacles in your way. I will never give up on us!
You don't need to worry about bringing presents. All I need is you!
I wish you a nice days and send you all the love that I have for you.
I hope to hear from you after I come back!
Kiss, Nat

Letter 7

Hello, Hans.
Thank you for emails and photos.
How are you? Did you go to watch a movie "The case of Christ"? Hope you enjoyed your last days. I had very good long weekend. On Saturday I helped to my mom with some chores and we worked in garden, taking out the garbage and preparing the garden beds for seedlings. My mom grows potatoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, onions, carrots, beets and other vegetables. There are also berry and fruit trees in our garden. My mom can't live without gardening.
Saturday evening I went to our steam house. My mom whipped my body with a birch broom. The bath broom is used to massage a bather's skin and generate heat. Birch bath brooms help to ease muscle and joint pain after physical activity, clear skin rash, accelerate the healing of wounds and bruises, and have an overall calming effect on the body.
On Sunday we made barbecue and some village relatives and neighbors came for visit. We had good time talking and discussing the news. Everyone asked me about my "foreign friend". I told I have found reliable man, so they shouldn't worry about me. So it was funny talk!... My mom approves my contact with you. I was glad to hear you showed my photo to your niece and presented me as your future wife and her future aunt! I would be happy to meet your family members when I arrive. Like you I can tell that you have changed my life little by little and I started to dream about the future.
The weather was very good. The temperature didn't drop below + 20 C. The leaves have started to appear on the trees finally and the birds build the nests. By the way, yesterday I saw a tiny baby bird by the front of the door, it couldn't have been more than a week old.....anyway somehow it fell out of a nest that the birds have managed to make in one of the vents on the side of the house....unfortunately it's so high and in an unusual place I really felt that I could never get it back into the nest.....anyway I decided to give it a shot and luckily enough, even though it was quite an acrobatic feat I was able to get the bird back into the nest)).....well I wonder what the moral if any could apply to the story.....I know maybe it means that we should never lose hope)).... well I'll leave the prophetic version for you to decide))
I understand you want to talk to me on the phone. I must confess that my phone do not accept the phone calls from abroad. I have cheap simple cell phone with limited coverage area and it provides only limited incoming and outgoing traffic. But it is profitable calling plan, so I use it. My phone is connected with one of the local mobile operators, which presents such service. This phone lets to make local phone calls as I have short regional number without access to international base. If you want us to talk, I can probably call you from call box.
Well, I need to go. I can't wait to read your letter))
Have a great day and don't forget to think about me! Who knows I may even be dreaming about you that very moment))
Nat

Letter 8

Dearest Hans,
thank you for letter and photos. It was good to know you invited your mom to restaurant. I like seafood, but here we don't have lots of choices for seafood. I see you also spent some time with your sister and her husband. I am glad you told them about me. :) I hope your brother in law will change his mind about dating in internet after he meet me one time.
I am ok. All day I felt extremely restless...and you are constantly in my mind and heart....so much so that I have the utmost difficulty in concentrating on my life here! It's beautiful weather, the birds are singing , nature is at it's best.....but my heart is far away, so far away by a man in the other country, a man I didn't even knew some time ago.
I'm not very much into astrology but I did read at the beginning of this year my horoscope, and because of what is happening now, memory comes back what it said. It said that for me the stars would come in such a favorable position to find a life partner this year, that it was a chance in a lifetime to come along, so exceptional. When I read it at the time I felt sarcastic.....but know....I feel amazed that this is really truly happening now...So many days, so many winter evenings, feeling the agony in my heart....the LONGING pouring out of me (I cannot describe it in any other way) to find my life partner. This must be the response of the universe. I do hope that we are truly meant for each other.
I feel a tremendous power surge in myself, and in my case it's so strong that it drives me forward and I am barely the witness of it....does that make sense to you. There is something happening here and it's BIG. For very long time, I have found myself existing....but not living....and you gave me joy and company...and hope for the near future. And I feel very grateful for that.
I really feel an urge to move on...I feel as standing on a big crossroads in my life and I'm frightened about the drive which propels me now forward in life..but I trust and have faith in the outcome. I don't want to stay separated from you longer then strictly necessary.
Yesterday evening I watched movie, which I want to recommend. The movie is called "Master and Commander", starring Russell Crowe. It is a high-seas adventure/action movie. Russell Crowe plays an English sea captain. His ship is called the "H.M.S. Surprise", and it takes place during the "Napoleonic Wars". The story is about the English ship, which is sparring on the ocean with a French ship, which is chasing after them. There are many interesting characters, but one in particular, I liked very much. He is the ships "Naturalist", and it is obvious when you see the film that he is a take-off on Charles Darwin... Anyway, if you have not seen this little cinematic gem, view it someplace, I recommend it to you... I wish you were here to be lazy with me, and watch it while lying beside me! ;)
I give you a big warm hug.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Your Nat

Letter 9

Hello, dear Hans.
Thank you for letter and photos. How are you? I am ok. Yes, I have seen Gladiator and liked that movie. And I also like Joe Black! :)
I feel you are a very warm and loving person and it is my pleasure to know you. I have not met anyone so open and nice. It is like a fresh breeze to meet you. I really think you are the one I have been searching for. I was actually ready to give up with the Internet, hoping to find someone. But I’ve found you and I can tell that I feel about you very serious. I am ready to meet that special person in my life, make him feel loved and secure and give pleasure to each other and whisper loving words to each other.
You know, I will be happiest woman if we could meet us soon. I hope your visa will be approved soon, so you come here finally. I have already told to all my friends and relatives about your coming. They are excited to see you!
I wish to be for you the special woman you are dreaming. The culture between us may be a little different, but the most important is love and tolerance. Once we met together, we will quick know if we can follow our love relation for all life, and raise a family. We have so many things to learn from you and me.
I often think of you and when we could see us, and have romantic moments. Hope soon...
Yesterday evening some of my single friends were out on dates and in night clubs. I didn’t want to go with them, because I don’t want to look for men. I would rather take this time to reflect on things and relax. I do not believe in going to night clubs to drink and court men. While I was with my former boyfriend, I used to go dancing occasionally. In the future, when my “special someone” joins me, I would love to go again, sometime, to dance and celebrate. Do you dance? If so, what type of dance is your favorite? I am not a real polished dancer, but with the right kind of music, I can get in the mood, get out on the dance floor and have fun with someone I love..!!!
This weekend will be long, because of new national holiday that we will celebrate in Russia. It is Victory Day, the day of an ending of Great Patriotic war in 1945. I will be off till Wednesday. I am going to see my mom, but I will not stay in a countryside for all three days, so I will write you on Monday or Tuesday.
Wish you good weekend!
I send you my kisses, Nat

Letter 10

Good Monday, Hans!
I hope your weekend was good. I visited my mom yesterday and helped her in garden. I have just came back. I will come back to my work responsibilities only on Wednesday. As I told, tomorrow is great holiday "The Day of Victory" in Russia. By importance and level of celebration it takes second place, after New Year. Victory Day marks Germany’s surrender to the Soviet Union in 1945. It became the end of the Great Patriotic War for the USSR, which lost about 25 million citizens in the four years of fighting. Many people attend a local military parade and watch the fireworks at night on Victory Day. Of course the biggest parade is in Moscow’s Red Square, show casing Russia’s military forces.
I will probably go to our local military parade. I would like to give a flowers to some to the veterans. I think it is good tradition to honor memory of victims in war and congratulate survived. Then, after this I want to go to meet my friends and we will spend time together.
I adore month of May, because this is very beautiful month with lots of holidays in our country. Also this is period of blossoming. The trees become covered by foliage and many beautiful flowers are appearing. I like when the nightingales are singing in the evening and air is fresh and sated by aromas of waking up nature!
I wish we could spend these wonderful spring days together. I hope soon we will enjoy each other's presence. Let us work together to make our dream come true.
Have a pleasant day. Remember, I think of you. I will write you on Wednesday! I hope to have a letter from you by this time.
Kisses and embraces.
Nat

Letter 11

Hello my dear Hans.
Thank you for letter and photo. It was interesting to read about your favorite months and thank you for sharing your thoughts.
How are you today and how is your mood? I hope this letter finds you in the best of spirits and health. Are you eating good and getting a good nights sleep? I wish I was there to take care of you as your wife. You would feel my daily care.
As to me, I am well. My week is going good since it is not long working week. Today is the first day and the day after tomorrow will be last working day. :) Don't be envious :)
The Victory Day is gone, I had very good day visiting parade and meeting my university girlfriends in cafe. We had funny gossips about our university years and we discussed recent news. I told I met you in internet and I have expectations for the happy future in your country They encouraged me in my adventure to look for foreigner and move out from Russia. I send you the photo from that cafe. I had just one glass of champagne, so don't worry! :)
You were with me in my mind. I should tell you that last morning I lightened the candles for my grandfather who is died on that war. I also made candle for us and I made a hope Eva Maria grants us many blessings and helps fulfill our dreams. I put my faith into our Lord and I try and pray often. I try and live my life the way he expects me to. I am not perfect by any means but I do try and live my life the right way.
When that long-awaited time will become when we will not need to be apart? I am most certain that I will love your country once I come to visit you. I look forward to taking long walks in the evening with you and talking about everything and anything. I think it will be romantic to have nice candle light dinners and romantic conversations. I would like to sit outside and watch the stars with you and get lost in your thoughts. I want to see the real you and be able to witness your smiles and your body gestures. Do you speak with hand gestures? I know I do, especially when I am excited or if I am telling a story. I think it helps bring out my personality and shows my emotions.
I am ready to start my new life as soon as possible. I want you to be my second half, and my best friend, my lover and most important my soul mate. I want to come to you more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. I want you to know that I am very very serious about coming to you and hoping that we fall madly In Love with each other. If you are half the person that I have come to know through our letters then I am going to want to be with you for the rest of my life. I am looking at coming to you and hope you are ready to make this next step too. I would be honored to stay with you in your home. You should know I am not a woman who is materialistic. The size of house, the amount of money, clothes is of no importance to me. I just want to be with you and have the opportunity to share time and special moments together. Being together is what is important. I know in my heart I will be comfortable with you no matter where we are in this world..
My Dear Hans, I hope you have a great week. I wish you a happy good day and work week. I anxiously await your letter. I miss you. Take care and talk to you soon!
PS See you in my dreams!!
With Love,
Your Nat

Letter 12

Hello, Hans.
Thank you for email and photo. How are you? What news and thoughts do you have to share with me? I hope you are great and your mood is fine! I am ok, finishing my short workweek. I don't have any special plans for weekend. I think it will be chores weekend. Maybe I will also visit my mom, go to cinema or theater. There is an interesting theatrical performance in one of our theaters. The spectacle is called "Master and Margarite". The play is based on a novel of famous Russian writer Michael Bulgakov. Everyone recommends to see this performance. But I am not sure if I go.. I have not decided how to spend this weekend. :) The weather is getting weird. It is windy and raining and the temperatures are very low. Everybody says that this May month is abnormal. They say it is connected with melting of glaciers and global warming. I don't feel global warming any way! Too cold....
It was interesting to hear that you have got new nickname American Gigolo! I hope you are interested only in me. If yes, then you are not Gigolo, you are Romeo!
You asked about my family. I only have mother. The name of my mother is Anna and the name of my father was Ivan, he is died. My mom lives in village, in 70 klm from my town. I visit her very often and she is always happy to see me. I am the only child in my family, but I always dreamed about big family with sisters and brothers. I feel lonely in my life and I so much need family contact. That is why I am seriously look for my own family, because I am tired to be along. I dream to live with my loved man, I want to spend time with my own family, doing everything to keep happiness in my house. But any way, my mom is 65 and she is retired now and all her time spends working in garden. She grows vegetables, fruit trees (we have very good apple trees there) and have livestock (chicken, pigs and cow). When I go to village I always help her with facilities. My mother is very simple person and I hope she will like you once.
I miss you... Our correspondence is very important for me and even if I don't write I keep you in my mind.
I wish you good Friday and weekend.
I send you many kisses...
Only yours Nat

Letter 13

Hello, Hans.
Thank you for letter and photos!
How is your weekend going? Do you celebrate Mother's Day? Mine was good till this time. Yesterday I made short journey to see my mom. This morning I had chores, laundry and ironing. After I met one of my friends and we went to theater to watch the performance. It was spectacle based on Mikhail Bulgakov's novel. It is difficult to explain the plot, because there were a few lines, mix of fantasy and realism, past and present life. And there was a story about deep love.. The famous phrase for you from this novel: “Who told you that there is no true, faithful, eternal love in this world! May the liar’s vile tongue be cut out!” Do you believe in eternal love?
The weather is still chilly.... But today we are fortunate, we have sun :) even the temperature is around + 9 - +10 C. And we had few freezing nights. Maybe next week we will have some warming finally. The trees are beginning to get flowers and green leaves, but this process is slowed down.
I can't wait to see you here. I know you are waiting the news from the embassy. Our first meeting will show us if we have chemistry. I am sure we will make good couple. We already have many things in common interests. I like walks, theater, travel, home life, food and the fact that you are a simple man will unite us even closer. As I like simplicity in life. I do not like complications. Just simply love, satisfy each other needs, be friends, soul mates etc.
I am madly serious about you and it's only a question of time, when we can meet and discuss our future together. As I told I am ready to start my new life in new country, I am ready to life challenges and obstacles. From the time of our first letter I understood that I need you in my life.
Have a good Sunday evening and successful start of new workweek.
I wish to hear your news.
My kisses to you, Nat

Letter 14

My dear Hans,
Thank you for letter and photos. I liked your comments and thoughts about everything.
I need to tell you something. I should warn you about the problem caused with circumstances of your arrival. I told you that I had a man two years ago. We have broken our relations as he was not good with me and there was no love between us. He met other girls and arranged scandals when I became angry with him. He even beat me.... I didn't tell about this anybody.
I have heard that he also consisted in criminal grouping, but I am not sure about this. I left him about 20 months ago and didn't see since that time. I forgot about him and continued my usual life.... It was such a hard and emotionally painful time for me, so I preferred to forget about that.. My life completely changed when I met you. You gave me the chance that I deserve to be happy. I told about my relations to everybody as I wanted to share my happiness with whole world... Some of my friends became jealous. The human nature is such simple and predicted that I should knew this! Someone's happiness may cause envy! So...That man have found out about my relations with you (I think one of my friends told him about me) and came to me yesterday. He tried to find out everything about you, when do you want to come and what kind of relations and plans we have. I didn’t tell him anything, but he warned me if you come here, he will make something with you. He threatened me. I cried and told him to leave us alone as we have different ways. He just laughed and offended me. He told I would never find the normal man, because I am loser. He assured that he would never let me to be happy with someone else. He is crazy! Now I afraid. He is aggressive, awful, severe, indecent and unscrupulous! I hate him, especially now... when he wants to interfere to our relations!
Tell me what should we do? I need to hear your opinion. I am sorry for telling you this.
I very much joined your aspiration to visit me in my city. Really... It was my dream to spend wonderful romantic time, introduce you to my relatives and friends... I had so many dreams about our first date. I wanted to learn you better and try to live with you like wife and husband. But I really afraid if something may happen while you are here..
I don’t know if you afraid him, but if you decide to postpone our meeting or suggest another variant to meet, I will listen you, my love. I just don’t want to lose you… I love you and need you. I want you to take me with you. I want to go from this awful place to start my new life with you.
But I want to listen you first. You are smart matured man and you can tell me how we should cope with this trouble. Maybe for you it is not trouble, I don't know... tell me what do you think?
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
I want to forget my past and start new life with you. we should be together, my love.
I am waiting for your answer.
I love you.
Please write me as soon as possible.
Your Nat

Letter 15

Hello, Hans.
thank you for letter and photo. I ask you to review the plans of coming to Russia. I afraid for you. I don't want you to have problems with my ex. Don't you want to be murdered? I try to warn you about all the problems you may have here. Let's change the plans. I think we should choose another plan of the first dating. I am still sure I should come to you. I will try to find out about traveling to your country. ok? I can come under tourist visa. I don't need to apply for fiancee visa at the first visit. And if we decide we want to be together, we can marry and ask for immigration status for me. Do you agree?
I still about behavior of my ex. I have learned psychology, so I can determinate this type of men. Such an attitude is not surprising at all and is rather well known in the psychotherapeutic field ...
Several years ago it was called " Psychological harassment " but bearing in mind the progress of the knowledge in psychiatry and specifically in psychotherapy the specialists are talking nowadays of " Emotional abuse " either at work, in private ( couple ) or in the family.
Emotional abuse is any non physical behavior or attitude that is designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish or isolate another person ( the victim ) ; there are also some types of physical behavior that can be considerate emotional abuse. These behaviors have a name " symbolic violence " . This includes intimidating behavior such as slamming doors, kicking a wall, throwing dishes, furniture or other objects, driving recklessly while the victim is in the car and destroying or threatening to destroy objects the victim values. Even milder forms of violence such as shaking a fist or finger at the victim, making threatening gestures or face, or acting like he wants to kill the victim carry symbolic threats of violence .
Generally speaking and in most cases, men who adopt such attitude or behavior are not very sure about themselves, are angry vis-a-vis most part of the world not to say everybody, are only able to criticize but without any positive solution ... better said, they are weak and in general bad tempered !
I don't afraid him, but I think his actions are unpredictable ... I am going to avoid to cry when speaking to him in the future ( sign of weakness ) ... I will avoid to be isolated ; if the guy is coming again I will tell him to refuse to see him when being alone ! I will be very careful. I am sure together we will overcome our obstacles and meet finally.
This weekend I will be out of the city. I am going to visit the village and help to my mother with garden things. So, don't lose me if I can't write you on this weekend. ok?
I sincerely hope you are ok and that your day will not be a too difficult one ...
I wish you good day. ...
Don't worry too much and try to be happy ... With my warmest hugs and kisses ...Nat

Letter 16

My dear Hans,
Thank you for message and photo.
I hope your weekend passed well and you had good spring time. I am ok, I spent my time at mother’ house. I helped her in garden. We did put the seeds to the ground. I also had banya time. My mother is doing well. My mother tried to feed me with her cooking! She always tells me that I am too skinny and the city is injurious to my health. I think all the mothers are the same in all around the World. They try to watch after their child till old age.
When I came back from the village I had quiet rest at my apartment. I watched the championship of hockey. It was interesting match between Finland and Russia. Unfortunately Russian team was only able to win bronze. The first one is Sweden. Hockey is very popular in Russia, so I always follow the big competitions.
Today I work and this letter I am writing at the office. The weather is sunny and windy today... The temperature is about + 13 on celsius.
I should tell that I missed you those two days, so it was good to have your letter. I am sure we will overcome all kind of obstacles and finally find the way to meet. For you to know I keep all our correspondence since the first letters that we sent each other. We have taken the first step, we met in Internet and we still learn more about each other. The more we get to know us here, the easier it will be at our first meeting, because we know a lot already and you even know about my past and ex....
I wish to meet you, Hans, I just think our meeting should happen in some safe place. Our first meeting will be the second step, we approach each other. This step will show if we are made for each other. We will do many things in common and we have the opportunity to find out. I have here a very good feeling to be at our first meeting, the fire of love and passion awakened in us. We will learn much of what we have been strange. We will learn from each other what it means to live together once and for all what it means to always be there for each other. If the spark of our love and passion will skip awakening, then there will be the first kisses. Kisses are still very timid and shy at first, but the longer you know each other, to be violent so and this passionate kisses. If this love and passion are so strong, it is completely automatic for sexual union. It comes from our inner soul to the other to give throughout.
Even today, I would like to do many things in common with you. I do want to go out with you, go to the movies with you, dance with you and watch together with you just arm in arm, the stars and the moon.
Ok, I will finish. I wish you good start of new week!
Hope you can write me soon
Nat

Letter 17

My dear Hans,
Thank you for your e-mail with photo, I hope that you are keeping well and not so depressed as me. I understand you feel confused with our last events, but I ask you to stay strong and patient... I am really sorry you can't visit me in Russia. My ex is not just average bandit, but he has some connections with mafia and police, so your coming to Russia is not safe. Please understand it.. I wish you could come, but in current situation it is not reasonable decision. I think the best way for us to meet is to plan my arrival to USA. I will try to find out about requirements of getting visa and I will ask for vacation. I hope I will be able to organise my coming to your country. ok?
While I have a difficult time putting my emotions on a sleeve, I feel it's so very important to express how much you really mean to me.
I long to say this in person, with you holding me tightly in your arms and gazing into your eyes, but unfortunately, I am unable to do so. Because we are separate by these thousands of miles of nothingness and emptiness, my expression of love for you will come in the form of letters, such as this.
It is so very difficult to be separated from you, even for a day, and I know that you feel the same. Life and love appear to be full of trials such as these. Perhaps they make us and our relationship stronger? They test our inner strength, our very core, our love and devotion. We'll continue to hold strong and build despite the distance. It's said that true love is boundless and immeasurable and in its purest form overcomes all forms of adversity. While I know this to be true, I also know that when genuine, it grows stronger and steadier as it does for us.
While our love has been tested by this distance and problem with my ex, I know that what we have remains true and unbroken. The longer I am away from you, the more I yearn for you. To be in your arms and lost in your eyes. I cherish each and every thought of you, each memory that flashes through my mind, and each dream the floats through at night while I sleep. I live for the day when we are together and for the day when we never part. Until that day arrives, know that I love you. Across these desolate miles, I send my love, my warm embrace, the comfort of my soul, and my tender, yet passionate kiss Please take care, All My Love, Nat

Letter 18

My dear Hans,
thanks a lot for your letter with plans for your days off and thank you for photo. I am good, working in the office and thinking about you from time to time. Have you heard about yesterday's terroristic act in Manchester? 22 people have died and many are injured... It is very awful, cynical and inhuman killing. Very sad to realise that such things happen in our life too often.... Life is too short and we need to value every day.
Last evening I read an article called "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars". It is so insightful on how men and women relate to each other. What stuck out was that sometimes women just want their mate to listen as they talk (unload) and when times like this happen for a man all he wants is to retreat to his "man cave". The signals may seem the same when actually they are quite different. A woman may ask a question with no intent to receive an answer. Or under the same situation not want a long resolution but just a short answer. This is where we may have an occasional problem. You know me, right? And I hope you don't mind when I talk to much. :)
I want you to know that our relationships are very important for me. I cherish every day of my life when I get your letter and write my answer. It is like unhurried conversation. Since the beginning of our correspondence you have shown that you are a serious and sincere person and in my response I always approached you with exactly these important values as the basic to start our relationship. Later on in our correspondence I started to know you better and I would like to make clear that I have fall in love for the man that you are. The most luckiest feature in my love for you is that I like your personality.
I don't have any doubts about you and our successful, happy future. I am delighted and honored that you choose me to be your soulmate, lover and best friend and I am glad you don't want to give up with despite of the problem with my ex. I think that we have reached more in our correspondence then we ever could dream on and therefore I don't see our first meeting as a conformation of our love, but as an opportunity to strengthen our bond by touching, loving, talking and looking to each other. If we succeed to be our self and feel comfortable to each other we can even already reach very soon the status that we are madly in love and that we don't want to be separate anymore. As I told already, we don't have to prove our self, but only the willingness to open our heart and follow with our instinct. Now these are all words and although they are sincere we reach now the status that we have to act to make our relationship more stable. I am ready both mentally and physically to meet you and I can not wait to make it all happened. I will find out about traveling to your country and start my arrangements.
In my mind I have created a program for us for a joyful and pleasant holiday together. We will have long walks, we will experience our cuisines, we will have candlelight diners and breakfasts in bed, we will give each other massages and we will explore our naughty desires...
I love you and send you many kisses.
I wait to read your news, Nat

Letter 19

Hello, Hans.
Thank you for letter and nice photo. Yes, the bombing in Manchester was very awful.... All those terrorist acts stated to happen after September,11... There were various attacks in Russia, France and Nice in Brussels in Berlin and Manchester. It is shame that we are in danger at any crowded place that could explode. How sad that we live in such a world that such evil people will seek to harm innocent kids and young people. Such a tragedy at the hands of truly evil people. It is sad how fragile and precious life can be. It reminds me of the song, "Heaven got another angel" by Gordon True. A beautiful song.
Hans, I was also glad to read your comments about relationships. What fascinated me in a book "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars" is how men and women, growing up in different cultures, different values, different beliefs and attitudes, coming from completely different spectrums of life, can behave and act and think so similarly. Men will be men and women will be women. I am an easy person to make happy. I don't require a lot of special skills.
I hope we can move forward soon. With every letter our relationship become more intense. We both have opened our hearts to each other and during the last months we were able to understood we are compatible.
I have found out about traveling to USA. I will need to apply for Tourism Visa B1/B2. I have to collect a package of documents before I can apply for visa to US embassy, which is located in Moscow. The B-1/B-2 visitor visa is for people traveling to the United States temporarily for business (B-1) or for tourism or medical treatment (B-2). In most cases, the B-1 and B-2 visas are combined and issued as one visa: the B-1/B-2.
Here is the process of getting visa.
1. I need an available International passport. For you to know, I don't have International passport, because I have never traveled before and there were no needs to get one. I have found out about the process of getting this document. I need to go to local Federal Migration Department to fill the application and pay the state fee. The amount of the fee depends from the terms of registration of the personal dates and obtaining of new passport. If the person apply for passport by regular way, he must pay 50 $ and wait about two months. If the applicant wants to get the document faster (5 working days), he should pay 200 $. I think it is reasonable to pass the fast way of obtaining passport, so we can meet faster.
2. One 2"x2" (5cmx5cm) photograph.
2. Then I need to have medical insurance available during the whole period of staying in the visited country. The cost of insurance is 180 $.
3. A letter from my employer detailing the position, salary, how long I have been employed, any authorized vacation, if any. It will be guaranty for your embassy that I am not immigrant and I am going to come back to Russia. I must also bring any other evidences that can help to demonstrate my purpose of travel, my strong ties to Russia.
4. I need to pay a few fees to US embassy/ The first one is reciprocity fees. For Russian nationals, receipt of an entry visa requires payment of a $20 reciprocity fee.This fee should be paid at the time of your interview or in advance of renewal application. If you are paying the fee at your interview, you may pay in cash only (exact change preferred).
5. I have to pay consular payment, which is 160 $. Here is information from US embassy's website: "Visa applicants, including children, are required to pay a non-refundable, non-transferable visa application fee, sometimes referred to as the MRV fee, before applying for a nonimmigrant visa. The visa application fee must be paid whether a visa is issued or not. This fee should be paid at the time of interview or in advance of your renewal application. Although fees are listed in U.S. dollars, payment must be made using local currency. You can pay your fee at VTB24 branches or computerized Russia Post branches. The visa application fee is non-refundable and you cannot transfer it to another person. You will receive a receipt after paying the application fee. This receipt is valid for one year from the date of payment and allows you to schedule your interview at the U.S. Embassy/Consulate. You must schedule your interview while the receipt is valid, which means your interview must be booked within one year of paying your fee. If you do not schedule an interview within a year of payment then your receipt will expire, you will not be able to schedule an interview, and you must pay the fee again and begin the process anew."
6. I must fill the application form and send it to US embassy with package of documents. The develop with papers must be sent by special delivering service. It is "Pony Express ". They have an official accreditation in US embassy, so it is legal delivering company works with embassy. Then I need to wait about two weeks. During this time my documents will be checked. After about two weeks I will be invited for an interview at the US embassy in Moscow. They will make an appointment with me and determinate special day and time. It means that I need to go to Moscow and stay there for at least two days. This journey will also cost some money. The cost of the train tickets is 110 $ per one way and 220 $ for two tickets. Also I would need to stay at hostel during my interview for two nights. I have accounted all my expenses and found out that I would need totally about 1000 $. It is a huge money and I can't afford such expenses without your support. Tell me what do you think?
I am doing fine by the way. My work kept me busy till the end of this week, but finally it is day off and time to plan weekend. Today I am planning to leave to a countryside, because I don't want to stay in the city. I need to help to my mom. It is a busy time for gardening. So, I will write on Monday! ok?
I wish you good days. I miss you, Nat
P.S. The dog on the photo is not mine. :)