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Letter(s) from Tatyana Belyaeva to Victor (France)
How your affairs? Has awfully become missed of you, your letters. At me have appeared small problems on To work. I have asked holiday for the director, but he has given up to me. Therefore I am slightly upset. Fair Word of any gratitude. Worked, not having a rest, not that I do not deserve rest. But with another I understand the sides, that me to not replace. And suddenly again display? Then I certainly would leave on Work. I may shall persuade the director. Then full freedom! At last that I shall go in theatre or an opera, I shall feel Nature, singing of birds. So it would be desirable to have a rest soul to hide far away from this vanity. It is a pity that you not Will be a line. Simply so it would be desirable to undertake hands to embrace you and to kiss. Would be simply fascinating Adventure somewhere to go to visit on a nature especially with you liked by the person. With Occurrence of you in my life I even more often come to idea, that the God has advised me to try To find the partner in life through the Internet. I was not mistaken, because have met you. And with everyone time I all I am more convinced, that I live to love you, and to be loved by you. Very much frequently I met with Girlfriends whom the answer to a question is very important, for what them love. But I think, that if people like the friend The friend there is nothing that, and for all. And as you think, road. If people like each other, for something or For all? It is a pity, that we are shared with the big distance, but I am sure, that sometime all will take place also we Not only we shall tell each other about love, but also we shall show everything as it is necessary Beautifully to love, look after, quiveringly To each other to concern. Chris you have written to me, that have had a rest. I very much envy you. Unfortunately I can not so have a rest at me simply there is no on it time. I have dreamt, as we with you have a rest together. You had such dream? I even more often reflect on the future, that for me wait. But I know one without you my life It is senseless, empty. Does not pass also day as I with impatience wait for your letter, the answer, though any News, that at you all is good. The most important that was health, and rest all will be. And you You reflect on the future what you imagine him? Well certainly it would be desirable, that even there is some place Was and for me. Lovely all at me is good, anything unusual does not occur to me. I shall struggle only for deserved Holiday and calmness of my soul. And the best calm for me will be the letter from you. I with Impatience I wait for news from you. I wish pleasant day and night. Protect itself.
Forever yours Tatyana
Hello my dear!!!
How your affairs? As your summer mood? At me today very joyful day. Today days off and completely has slept. I so dreamed for all this week to sleep. At us weather stable. The sun from time to time looks out. The easy warm wind blows. And how at you weather? I think in comparison with our weather at you better. I in this summer day, have decided to pass on shops. I look after to itself spring clothes. I keep up for style and me not it would be desirable to lag behind from her. As now many people began to appreciate persons not on wit and to character and as he is dressed and how many at it money. You with me agree? Also it is necessary how to buy to itself normal clothes. In shops now it is a lot of people. As days off and all are to be taken a walk and to try that that new. I in shop have met the girlfriend. She to me has told, that corresponds with one person from America. As soon as she has told it to me, I at once have offered her to go in the Internet of cafe. She with pleasure has supported my offer. And we with her together sit in the Internet of cafe. She writes loved and I write you. As I have understood its man have offered it fly in its country and even has offered her money. But she is afraid to take this money and does not know what to do? Is afraid that its man may think that she corresponds with him only for the sake of money. Now in this world the Internet so it is a lot of deceit, that at times suffers from for it there is nothing not obedience people. As my girlfriend and she now sits and thinks what to do. I have offered her to call him and to explain. As conversation on to the phone on much better, than correspondence. You agree with me? Tell to me too, that you have decided to make in these days off. I wait for your answer. After dinner I once again shall go in the Internet of cafe and I shall write to you. Certainly if you will write to me. Yours Tatyana
Today I have woken up under warm solar beams. Bright beams the sun playfully shined at my window. To me was so pleasantly to wake up. After I have woken up, laid in bed 45 minutes. To me was so air 28 C. Eh what weather in your country? The day after tomorrow days off. What you are going to do? what plans at you on days off? I more soon all shall sit again at home. I shall do homework. it is necessary to me wash the clothes. And to be tidied up on the house. Tell to me about the plans for days off. it will be pleasant for me to find out than you there are engaged. I today since morning have decided to go and write to you. I want to ask you some questions. You like my letters? You like them to read? On it I shall finish the letter and I shall wait for your letter from photos.
As I am happy, that you have written the letter that you do not leave without the answer that I write you. As yours Affairs my native? How mood? It is very glad, that your days pass brightly and is sated, so much events For day, it is good. Christian I am pleased to hear, that you are ready to carry out the holiday in Kazan. It is very good idea. I want to ask you when you are going to arrive in Kazan? Loved, I want to remind you, that if at you something will not develop, share with me and to you begins More easy, you see I always shall support you, I shall help everything, than I can, am unimportant than, the main thing tell all, That you think necessary, yours of good luck - mine of good luck, your pleasures - mine, your grief - my grief and a pain. If only you were with me. Road, the more you I shall find out, the I am more strongly assured, that you that, For whom I waited. I once again shall repeat, for me the difference is not important in the age of, for me the soul, as it is important Thinks, as he thinks of life, its purposefulness, certainly honesty and love to me. And I in The turn I shall pay back with boundless love, attention, caress, care. Sweet I, I does not want to insist, but that moment in our relations when we should in my opinion has come To make the next step, to meet. So it is impossible to live. Yes, I am ready to wait how many it is necessary to pass all Barrier which will rise on our way. I shall sustain all, but if only with me a line will be you. I You have made for yourself a final choice, only and our future. But whether you want it? Me torment Ideas about doubt. I do not want to doubt, I trust you, but the reason speaks about the friend. May to you Only it seems, that you test to me too most, as I, because we on distance, you Nothing obliges. My mum when it was alive, always spoke me, " before to go in marriage, live With beloved, check up the compatibility ". But I am self-assured, and you are self-assured? Whether you want You to be with me, or it simply sympathy, whether you want to live with me so much, how many to us The destiny will allow? Believe me, there is nothing sincere, than my love to you. Road, me it is very bitter One without you, is tired to wake up in loneliness. Beloved mine, I hope that my ideas about you, my feelings to you, my love will result you to To the correct decision. Think heart and reason. But remember always, I LOVE YOU, I ONLY YOURS, MINE OPPRESS AND HEART BELONG ONLY TO YOU. WHOLE your princess is many - many and everywhere... With impatience I wait Your answer.
With love yours Tatyana
Today I have reflected above a question. " That such love and what her essence? " I am tormented very much by this Question and consequently I have decided to share with you the opinion. I want that you have read and have determined a course My ideas. Surprisingly, but, even knowing about incomprehensibility of this secret, the person all the same tries it to solve. And I think of her of already kind forty years! And the more I think, the I am glad impossibility more strongly Comprehension by her mind, that, in my opinion, there is a certificate of unrestrained spontaneity and force of it Feelings, its complexities and acceleration in such depths of human soul, about which weak and The malicious mind even does not guess! It is much easier and more productive to reflect not on the love, and about her substitutes, about the masks similar on Love under which other feelings are hidden absolutely, biological and psychological requirements, Complexes, neurosis... Having determined, that is not love, the person vaguely begins to guess, that All it is... The most important in lifes, all her riddles want, I pour out to you now? Do not pursue for illusive property, behind ranks: it makes profit nerves of decades, and It will be confiscated in one night. Live with the equal superiority over life be not frightened troubles and not tormented fortunately. All the same You see and bitter not up to one century and sweet not full. Rather from you if you do not freeze and if thirst and famine do not tear to you claws of interiors... If at you not is convinced a ridge, both legs go, both hands are bent, see both eyes and hear both Ear to whom to you still to envy? Envy to anothers, most of all eats us. Wipe eyes, wash Heart and most above estimate those who loves you and who to you is located. Do not offend them, do not scold. Anybody from them do not leave in quarrel. You see you do not know, maybe, it is your last Act and such you will stay in their memory. It is surprising! As the love opens eyes as it allows the person to rise to actually Human which appears... Divine! And it is valid, in liked you see a face of the Christ, and In yourself you open aspiration to begin the savior of all mankind! When you like, you open infinity and outside mankind! Begin to concern with Love and tenderness to all alive " to a tree, a flower, a dog... Than they deserve love less, Than the person? Their terrestrial life as is fragile and short...
How your affairs? How your mood? I today in very good mood. Today charming spring Weather. Singing of birds and light of the sun appreciably changes morning mood and inspires. I hope, that at You too all is good? Today not only for me wonderful day, but also for all our country. Probably you Heard about a holiday May, 9 in Russia? This day to be glorified at us as " Day of a victory ". On all main television channels will be to show parade of a victory in Moscow. If you do not know, I I shall tell to you, that Moscow is capital of Russia and for this reason the main parade will be in Moscow. Probably You heard about " the Red area " in Moscow? On this area will pass " Parade of a victory ". Movement On city will be blocked because on streets of city there will pass military engineering, will be beautiful Military construction. You simply do not imagine to yourself how it is beautiful. Probably it is interesting to you to know In honor of that this holiday so is honored in Russia? The matter is that this day the Soviet armies Have won a victory above fascist army. For all Russians this day became pride, because in This day Russia has got final independence. But the most interesting will be in the evening, because on To all country there will be a colorful salute. I very much would like that you too have seen it. Believe me, but this Salute with each year leaves unforgettable impressions in soul. So it is good to see a smile on persons of people to see happiness which transfers and to the rests. Today I Plan to take a walk with the girlfriend on our city. I want to go with her in cafe and to sit behind a cup Coffee. Friends call me in night club to dance, have a rest, relax. But I do not like The noisy companies. In such conditions I feel badly. Probably because of it I do not like to go on Discos and night clubs. I prefer to sit at restaurant or cafe behind a cup of coffee or behind a glass Good the fault and to listen to quiet, calming music. What plans at you for today? What you will do tonight? I hope, that you too will stay This evening unforgettably. Time passes so quickly, that at all is not in time to notice as the following comes Day. And imperceptibly passes life. I simply want to tell you that you did not spend time all for nothing and Enjoyed the charming moments of life. On it I shall finish the letter to you and I hope for a fast reply From you. I shall wait for your letter.
How your affairs I hope, what at you all is good Today I have come in the Internet of cafe and me as if something have woken on sharing with you the mood, the impressions in general. I want to talk to you about happiness. I hope, what you not against it because all people aspire fortunately Forgive me that I address to you with such strange theme for conversation, but at me the truth is not present the person to whom I could talk about it. It seems to me, that only you can understand me correctly. It is possible to speak about it not one day, what such happiness Actually the happiness is when you see, that those are happy who to you of roads. The true happiness is when you may help anothers. And the happiness which results from satisfaction of feelings - it temporarily and quickly passes. We think, that we shall be happy, if I will have any position and I will be praised for something, and it shall try to enjoy. But then we shall see, that all to spit on our position, there are at us these riches or him is not present. True happiness it really lasting - to give people pleasure to give that in what they require. To concern to all how it would be desirable that concerned to us and to count needs of people, as to own needs. And then is a happiness becomes true and it lasting. To do disinterestedly is a happiness, not dependent on anything. The happiness is that it is impossible to shake anything. I want to write to you a little some line from a remarkable poem which completely to me is specific.
It It seems to me, that it to concern to me
For a long time I waited that hour Oblivion
When has believed in love
For a long time waited that hour Oblivion
But it was disappointed again
As I do not want heat without the sun
So I suddenly do not want to be forgotten
When that bird inside will die
From what to me to not be born any more
Write to me faster. I hope, that you will not leave my letter without attention.
Hello my dear.
How your affairs? How your mood? I hope, that at you all is good also you are glad to each minute the life. At me with mood it is not so good. It is possible to tell, that I in bad condition. With early morning I have gone today to the girlfriend. And when went on foot along the street has seen very good family. mum and daddy went with the child along the street. They at all had pleasure on the person. And I saw as them the child was happy. I envy all children at which there was a happy childhood. At me the same was the happy childhood. But unfortunately I have grown without the father. My mum did all for me. What I not longed. And I very much respect her. She the most fine woman in this world. It is a pity, that she has died. I now I think, about her and at me tears flow. I so strongly want to see mum. Today thinking of her I not has endured also has gone to her tomb. Has brought flowers on a tomb. her liked flowers. It were tulips. I has stood at a tomb about one hour. Also has recollected all joyful moments of life. To me was so pleasantly but on the other hand there was no she. Yes today at me sad mood. But I shall not afflict myself with it. You see on it my life not it is completed. I should squeeze out in this severe world. Where it is a lot of lie and a deceit. I should squeeze out for the sake of the mums. You agree with me? I want to ask you, that you would write to me very much good the letter. Such the letter, which will lift to me mood. I shall wait for your letter. Sad Tatyana.
Hi, my dear Victor.
How your affairs, how mood, how at work?
It is madly glad to your letter. To tell on fair, it very much warms me, consoles and gives forces. me it is very pleasant, that you support me, encourage. To anybody in life I so was not pleased as you. You to present to itself may not, that I today have heard. My closest girlfriend does not approve, that I communicate with you. She approves, that you not real, and if also real correspond for the sake of entertainment. But I see, that yours letters are full of heat, respect. As well as for any person, for me time is very important, therefore I with confidence I can tell, that I correspond with you not for entertainment. First time I did not think, that all will be so seriously, But now I do not have not enough your letters, I began to reflect, and as you there, that do now as has passed yours day. It is so much a lot of work also the opinion of the girlfriend has upset me. It is impossible to judge persons, as she not communicated with you, did not see, what you the fine and good person. The opinion of others is important for me not so and people, seldom it happens, when I listen to another's opinion, but the girlfriend has afflicted me, not that is impossible simply to be glad for me, that at last I have found the person close it is pleasant. It is even not interesting to me to communicate with others men because only I perceive you seriously. It is awkward to me to write to you about it, but you unique slightly, With whom I would like to share sore. I know, that you support me, bad in my address will not tell. You and your letters - it everything, that at me now are. As though I now would like to hear words of support from you. me Probably think of a language barrier? Do not experience, I very well can understand you but only if you will be to speak more slowly. I was the best schoolgirl on English language at school and in institute. Therefore, I hope, that problems at conversation will not be. It is important for me, that you have understood that I now feel to you. Very much I hope, what is the feelings are not vain. It would not be desirable to burn, that to me hurt. Victor why you so have a little written to me? You think to me interestingly to come in the Internet of cafe and to read your small letter. It is completely not ridiculous. I try to come as it is possible more often and to write to you the letter. But you in turn ignore me. Why??? If you are not interested in me and write me, I shall understand you also we shall stop correspondence. I wait for your explanations... It seems to me for each person very important that it did not offend and were fair with him. And I want, that you with me were fair. You very much like me also roads. At times to me it seems, that to everything, than I live, it you. On it I shall finish the letter and with impatience I wait for your warm answer. With the best regards, embrace you, yours Tatyana.
Since the first lines of the letter, want to remind of the love to you. It is pleasant for me to write, and still, it would be better, it To tell, how I love you. Waking up in the morning, I think, how I do not have not enough you. About on how many, would be Better, my morning if a number was you. This desire and an idea on it, reduce me from mind. Sensations of this dream, result Me in a condition pleasure to thirst to test it in a reality. I adore you. In the street, all becomes warmer and warmer. The sunlight, on is bright so much, that it is possible if not to carry solar glasses, Will damage to itself eyes. I noticed at myself, toward the end day, that my eyes look, very wearily and have a red shade. It Speaks about them Inflammation. The case when at my girlfriend, it was damaged a retina of an eye was. As I remember, she was very long treated. And all this, from for brightness, light, the sun and all this light reflected from snow. It, as from solar Hare which gives, Very bright, Reflection a mirror from the sun which blinds eyes. But in it too is, the charm though has the Minuses. You heard about similar cases? Your weather, has similarity, with my description? It is very difficult for me to present, As at you, but me very much it would be desirable sometime, to feel charm of your spring. It would be wonderful. If you may, Tell To me about these Charm. From what you receive, good mood, in time, this season. I strongly miss, on you. I melancholy becomes aggravated to evening when you sit one, at home. I can not fall asleep long. Mine Ideas about you, beat off my dream. That, I can not do with myself. It on much stronger me, is my love to you. Is difficult, constant to think of you, as about not Forgotten. When it seems, that all is real. If it was in my forces, To see you, even from it is far. I would be glad. To me have bothered, walls of space which divide us. Desire to overcome , every day, all is stronger and stronger than them. I strongly miss, do not overlook about it. You are necessary for me. To regret, my time comes to an end and on it, I finish the letter and I wait for your answer. Pleasure mine. I like You, know it.