Letter(s) from Ludmila Shirokova to Sean (USA)

Letter 1

Hello Sean.
Thank you for your reply. I am really glad to see your message.
At first I must tell you that I haven't a good internet access, I use an Internet in my work and I can't use it often. Hope you understand.
Sorry for the delay.
I am new on the Internet and Internet dating. Please, don't be too strict if something is wrong... I am a little abashed :-) I don't know how real it is and how I should behave... Well, I guess I should tell a little about myself so we could start the conversation.
By the way my profile doesn't work now so I will describe myself here.
My birthday is February 5. I am 30 now.
My height is 167 cm (5'6"), weigt - 48 kg (106 pounds). I will attach a pictures of me, so you can see my appearance if you didn't see it on my profile. I have some of digital pics, but I don't want to send it all now:)
One-by-one:)
I am Russian. I was born and I've been living in Russia all my life.I was born and live now in a Perm. You can find it in Internet Ithink:) I know the web-site there you can read about my city:http://www.psu.ru/perm/index.html . I am a doctor. I work here in a polyclinic near the military base as a doctor.I'm a proctologist. I have good education, university graduate.I like this work, I like to help people.
You see, my English is not great:( But I'm working with it every day:)I have never been to the US. But I have a greatchance to be in USA about 10 months and may be I will stay there.I went to the Moscow to have an interview. Let me explain.Every year the Ministry of Health of Russia carry out the international exchange of doctors between different country. This year they enrol doctors for groups that will come to the US. Russian doctors will work on probation for 10 months. After that they will pass the qualifying examination and get the medical license.I don't know right now the result of interview, but I will know it very soon. If I will pass the interview, I will go to USA very soon!!! I keep healthy life. Don't smoke and drink rarely. Prefer red wine ora small buttle of good beer (I like Miller but it's very expensive andI drink it not very often). I enjoy sport and outdoors. Bicyclyng ismy favourite pas time. I also have many hobbies and interests. For example history,reading, music and so on. I am trying to be a many-sidedperson (not sure if this word is correct). I am afraid I won't be impartial telling about my personality but I'lltry. I am loyal and honest. I have good sense of humor and naturalcuriosity. I like animals (I have a dog) and children, but I haven't my own children.
I like to be happy and make people around me happy too.
Don't think that I im interesting in friendship only.
I've forgotten to say I am single. I've never been married and I have no children (I told it)... And yes, I am looking for my love. :-)
I have a good chance to see your state (i mean USA). I will be in USA at the courses of improvement of qualification. It 's a very interesting for me and the chance to start a new life!
What person I want? Nothing extraordinary. I don't need a prince or a rich. I want a good guy. Really good guy with soul and heart. Who can love and respect his woman. Who can support and understand me. I like decent and honest men. I have just a few things I can't stand in the man: rudeness and vulgarity. And I hate a lie! Hope I didn't scare you :-)
Well I think it is enough for the first letter. I will continue next time.
Please tell me a little about you. What you like and what you think?
Yours truly, Horoshaya (it's my nickname, now I don't want to use my real name, I hope you will understand).
p.s. The pictures are attached. This is me ;-) It's my newest pics!
p.p.s. "Privet" - is a Hi

Letter 2

Sean. Thank you for your reply. It's nice to receive your note.
I am very pleased you interest in me. Sean I want us to keep our correspondence and to know each other better. Write me about your life, send pictures. I promise to do the same.
Also, I wrote you I use an Internet in my work. I haven't my own computer and a phone to have Internet in home. So, my boss said t hat we can't use Internet every day. I will try to write you every other day, ok? Also I can't write on weekends (only sometimes...).
By the way Sean if you note any mistakes in my letter don't be shy to report them to me.
I have been studying English for some years at University and then by myself. I like to read books in English. And I still think I am not good enough to speak and to communicate easily. Your corrections would help m e much. I write it by myself with a dictionary and I want to improve my language skills.
You know our meeting was a chance. I have been surfing Internet for some months. The first time I used Internet was for my work. I read about the sport. Then I started to surf Internet for two or three times a week. And now it is one of my favourite things to do. Recently I have interested in dating service and decided to try it. I choose several profiles and you replied. :-) Others men wantedonly naked pics or sex or said that i'm a bitch (sorry). I don't know why... Sean I still can't imagine you are in the USA. Sounds silly? :-) Ihave never been to the States. I know your country just from themovies and TV. I would like to learn more about it and your people. Ithink we could give each other more full images about our countries bycorresponding. I also hope to visit the USA some day. I like to travelvery much. It is great to see the world all over. I haven't travelmuch. I was just in several russian cities.My favourite city is St.Petersburg. Very beautiful place.Now I have a great chance to move in USA. It's so great for me. Idon't know the city and state now, but when I learn, I will write youok?It's good that you have a kid. I like children very much:)Well, I am a little confused and I don't know what to say. I hope allthis stuff is not too boring to read. :-) Sean I have already told you that I want to find someone throughInternet. I just wanted to say that it is my serious intention. I aminterested in you and I want us to be good friends. Write me back. Waiting for your letter.I'm sorry, sometimes I couldn't answer on all of your questions. You seeI use Internet in my work and can't write much. But I will try to answer. Horoshaya.
ps this pic

Letter 3

Hello, my friend. I thank you for your letter and your interest in me. Sean, it isinteresting to read your message. I am sorry I couldn't write you earlier. But today I have a time and I want to write a long letter.So, let me begin:) I want to tell you many things, but at first I wantto ask...:) I want to know more about you. Please, tell me more about your family,friends and people that you know. What is your usual day? I will alsotell you what you want to know about me. I have good time to correspond with you. I enjoy it. I can say it isbecoming one of my favourite things. I don't remember if I told youabout my hobbies or things I like to do for fun. It seems to me thatpeople who wants to have some relationship must have the same ideasand goals in life and also the same ways for rest and fun. I like different activities like sport, walking, going-out andoutdoors. I can't say that I am engaged in sport. I just like it. Ilike bicycle-riding, swiming and beach especially. Also I like todance. I dance classic and modern dances. I am an amateur not aprofessional. I think the real woman should be beautiful both souland body. My mother teached me to play piano. I also can sing. I willtry to learn some english songs. Hope you can hear them someday.Smile. I enjoy cooking. I prefer italian and russian food. My favouritedishes are different soups and salads. I cook great Ukrainian borsch.It is a soup made of beet, meat, cabbage and carrot. Very tasty. Smile. As I said I like reading. I read different books, but prefer booksabout history and countries. I read a lot of Russia and America. Thesecountries are great. As for movie and music. I like different music: rock, jazz,pop, classic. e.g. Scorpions, A. Lavigne, Bah, Mozzart, Jazzamor,Felix da House Cat, Placebo etc... As for movies. e.g. I like an oldAmerican film "Breakfast at Tiffany`s". Did you see it? Also I likeold Russian comedies etc.I like pool, but I'm not good player:)As for fun, I like the same thing like all people. Movie, walk ing,theatre. I like to drink tea with friends in cafe. We talked abouteverything and nothing. Smile. I don't have a lot of friends, but allthey are good people. To be honest I don't like 'empty' people (I meana people with the empty soul). My friends are almost my friends fromchildhood and youth. They are already almost married. Don't think thatI am close person. I like to meet new people and make friends. I ameasy-going and I easily strike up new acquaintance. From another sideI am not easy approachable woman. I am serious. I think it is frommy upbringing. Sean, I want to tell you about my family. I livealone (I haven't sisters or brothers). My mom died about two years ago.And I have never seen my father (he leaved us when I was 1). The mostclose person now is my aunt, my mother's sister. She lives with herfamily (She have 2 sons and husband) I think she is like mother for me. My mother was just a worker on the shoe factory. She was an expert inthis. She had a cancer... It's sad... From my birth my mother wanted me to become a teacher. But I choseanother way:) I wanted to be a doctor to help people. I don't knowexactly why I chose my profession (proctology). But now I know thatit's very important! And I'm not sorry about my choice:)I had enough strict upbringing. I had been not allowed to date with boysuntil I got 20 years old. My mother was old-fashion person. Probably it is not bad. I loved my mother and respect her. She could give megood upbringing. We didn't have any conflicts. I always try tounderstand her. She loved me too and just wanted me to be happy. Itwas the most hard time in my life when she died. I thank my aunt, shewas with me and supported me. I talked with my aunt about you. Are you surprised? We often hadconfiding talking. She understands me in full. I said her that I m eet aman on dating service in Internet. And that this man is from anothercountry. Aunt said that it is great. I asked her what she thinks if Iwould like to visit this country and maybe to move there. She said thatit is OK, if I feel I want it. I am glad with this. She know about mytrip for the education, but she didn't know that I want to start newlife there:) Well, hope it is not too boring to read. Smile. You see sometimes man (i mean not a "male", I mean a "human") must sit and think about his lifeand about what he is and what he wants. It seems to me that I havethis time now. What I want? Simple things. Happiness, family, careful husband. I putspiritual life to the first, not material things. I am not looking forbetter life or getting rich. I am looking for full life. Why I can'tfind husband here in Russia? I can, but I don't want. I see how mymother lived, I see how other people live in Russia. Yes, here is badeconomics and I don't want to live here. I love my Motherland but Idon't like the State. I want to have comfortable life and don't alwaysbe in searching good job and better salary. I want to dedicate my lifeto my husband and my family. I don't want to say that I am lazy. Ilike to work, but I don't want to dedicate my life to my work. I hopeyou understand what I am talking about. I see that many russian women try to go out from Russia looking forbetter life. They marry foreigners to get citizenship of anotherstate. Then they divorce. I don't like them. I believe in marriage forlife. I want to marry for love. I think the divorce is a big sin!!!So, about my coming in USA. I want you to know more about it:)I can tell that it's an interesting program. I went to the Moscow tohave an interview. Every year the Ministry of Health of Russia carry outthe international exchange of doctors between different country (Iwrote you it). Russi an doctors will work on probation for 10 months.After that they will pass the qualifying examination and get the international license.I don't know right now the result of interview, but I will know it very soon. If I will pass the interview, I will go to USA very soon!!! Sean, I want you to understand me in full, until we will make someany steps. Tell me what you think about this all and what else you would like to know. Well, this letter seems to be long, so I will close.Until next time. Yours Horoshaya (I want you to know how it pronounced:"hor-r-OR-sh-are-ya". The accent is on the uppercase word "OR").
p.s. I forgot to tell about my pics. I have some pics on the computer.Some of them was taken by my friends, my aunt, my last boyfriend (Iwill tell you about him). Some of them was taken by digital camera(last boyfriend had digital camera, but now I haven't it), someof them - real camera and scanned.This pics was taken about 4 or 5 years ago (I don't remember exactly).was taken about one year ago.

Letter 4

How are you? Hope you are OK. I am all right. I missed you these dayswhen I was unable to read y our letters. Smile. I don't know how it mayhappen so fast but I feel that we have been friends for years. What happened with you these days? Here things are the same. You knowsometimes it seems to me that life stopped here. And you live the sameday everyday and it scares me. I may live all my life and I can'tnotice that life is going away. Sean you make my days another.Full of life and joy. Thank you for your writing. It really brights my days. Don't thinkthat is just words. I always mean what I say... Or at least I try to.Smile. Sean I can't still believe you are so far from me. Yes, Iunderstand it but can't imagine it. Yes, computer and Internet arelike a window to the world. It is fantastic. You know our acquaintance made me to think a little differently aboutpeople living in the world. Good change. Of course I knew about othercountries and people but before it was like an idea, that I saw on TV,read in books and newspapers. But mass media can't give you the realsituation about another country. With your letters I can feel yourreal life. Understand me please, I have just touched to differentculture, life and people through you. And I saw it is real. Sean Iam a person that doesn't believe u ntil he touchs. Smile. I realize youare the same person as I am. We speak different languages, live in thedifferent countries but we want the same things in our lifes. I feelthat I am a part of something very huge and important. Thank you forgiving me this feeling. I want to travel all over the world, to meetnew people and to get new experience. I really think it is great funand useful. What do you think? I actually may look naive but this iswhat I think. Smile. Yesterday I met my friends. We usually meet at someone's home or go toour favourite cafe. This is pretty nice place. It is small and verycosy. They don't sell alcohol there so it is not very popular. Itseems strange? I am not sure you know but usually russians drink a lot. Some russian comic said "the drinking is Russian national pastime".Smile... It sounds funny but it is not too good in real life. It isalways loudly where alcohol is on sale. Russian people in common don'tknow when to stop in doing something. Smile... If they drink theyget drunk. If they love... they fall in love. Smile... My friends don't like to drink too as I do. They are almost my friendsfrom university or childhood, and girls from my work. We talk, drinktea, coffe, joke, have fun. Very nice people. I like them all. It's a pitty we can't meet often but a time or too in month. Theyalmost are married and have family and children so they are c onstantlybusy. Well the matter is that I told them about you. They were reallyhappy for me. They already asked when I come to you. Smile.I explained we are just friends but they still bantered me allevening. They say hello to you. I would like to introduce you to themone day. Well I must go now. I will try to write you sooner. Lyuda.
p.s. Sean I really glad we "met".

Letter 5

Hello Sean.
How are you? I am fine. We have good day today and I have time to talk with you. Today we have good weather and I have a good mood:) Don't think I forgot about you. Smile. No, I think of you often. I amvery intersting to know you more and I like we can talk via email. Isit OK for you that I can't write you everyday or regularly? I will tryto write as often as I can. To be honest I am a little nervous. Sean, you may ask why I feelso. I am a little scared about having new serious relationship,particularly, a relationship with you, because I want a relationshipwith you to work out. I want it to happen, to mature, and excel.Another reason I am nervous is because a serious relationship is a bigstep. A big step for both of us. And, lastly, I am nervous of thepossibility that you will say something like "You are a greatfriend, and I think we should keep things that way". I think I wantmore. It is based on what you have written me, what you have told meof you, and what you have told me of your thoughts, life and so on.I think that I really want to develop our relationship. I know it maybe premature for me to think this way. But I do because I feel this way. Sean I had an English test today... And they took me. Smile. I am very happy. It is really stirring event for me. It is like the new birth.I even don't have any words to express my feelings. You know yesterday night I had a dream. And I saw that I pass this test. I saw airport and big airplane, than I saw new beautiful country and our meeting. Smile. When I went to the test today morning I was sure I would pass it. My thoughts about our meeting helpedme to do it. Smile. Last days I thought about you a lot and I thought about us. I thoughtmay it be possible for us to meet each other one day. I thought howreal is Internet. How we can learn each other throught it. Really itseems to me that there is no difference what way we communicate. Theimportant thing is that we can learn each other and to have image ofour character in our minds. And it is great. Sean tell me what is happening in your life? Tell me what holidays do you celebrate? And what holidays meananything for you personally? As for Russian we have too much holidays! New Year, Christmas, February 23th (it's a men's day), Women's day (March, 8th), Easter; April, 1st; May 1st, May 9th, June 12th, September 1st, November 4th, and more (I don't rememberall). What do you think about it? As for the professional sports from America... I think only sometimes.I haven't cable-TV only 8 Russian channels. Sometimes they shows someof American sport.. I have to go now. I will write again soon. Yours Luyda. smile. Keep more writing.

Letter 6

Hi, Sean.
I am realy happy we are in touch. Thank you for your letters. Theymake my days. I think of you constantly. You are very close to me. Idon't know how it could happen so fast. It is amazing. I feel you veryclose. You see we both are sincere with each other. I think it is the way people must comunicate with each other. I think that we mustn't hide our feelings and thoughts. I do it. I am ready to give myself to thedestiny. I believe in fortune. I think I am lucky to find you. I know I may seem too excited talking about "us". I just want you to know about my feelings. I like you and I want to develop our relationship. Sean I miss you in the evenings. Sometimes at nightsI dream of you. I see you smiling and whispering my name. You know I wish you were here next to me or I were near you. I want to touch your < /PRE>hand, to see in your eyes and whisper your name... Smile. I believe we are compartible and we could be a great couple. Sean I want to know your honest thoughts about us. Would you really like to meet me in person? I want it. I thought a lot about situation. We met in virtual space. We found out that we have common thoughts and ideas for living. We both need someone in our lifes. We like each other. And we will meet soon. What if we don't like each other when we meet? I know it is silly to sit here and think about all these "what and if". I think we must meet and see if the things will work out between us,see if we will fall in love with each other. Without meeting in personwe can't create full understanding of person. I want to meet you andto develop our relationship. I know we met in Internet but we met eachother. It means a lot. Well I will be strong and wait until we meet.Smile... As for my pics. I wrote you my last boyfriend was a photographer andhe has a computer. When we part with him, I record all of my pics onthe disc and now I use it:) Sean I have already applied all papers to our department. Next week I will get my visa and passport. You know I still can't believe they took me. It was like a dream for me and it comes true. It is impossible in my mind but it is happening in reality. I have learnt great news. They said I will have a salary while I amworking in the US, also they'll supply an apartment for me. For 10 months I will earn about $30.000. I can't believe. I will be able to move to a city and buy my own flat. Or I can stay in the US and start my own business. Sean I am so happy. I don't like money for what they are. I am happy what possibility this travel opens for my future. You are also in my plans... Smile... at highest position. This program pays for this. It includes a visa, passport, costs ofstudy, books for study, medical insurance, and also a food andapartment. My trade union must pay for the air ticket. But I ama little nervous, what if they can't pay. There was a precedent when our trade union gave the promises and neve r held them. I know good person in our trade union. His wife worked with me andwe are good friends now. He is dealing with finances and salaries for our workers. He said they are waiting for federal funds and money didn't come yet. Sometimes it didn't come for half of year. Medicineis slow supported from the state in Russia and our trade unionis not good one. Well stop, I hope everything would be allright and money comes in time. Sean I can't think anything else, only this travel. New country, new work, new people and our meeting, all this excites me a lot. I don't want to stay friends. I want more. Smile. I am crazy, we never met. Not at all. I hope everything will work out between us.I just wanted you know. I talked to my aunt about this. She is very exciting for me too. Butshe doesn't mind. She said "it is your life and you are worth to haveyour happy". She just said me to be cautious there with new people andyou. Smile. I am not a small girl but she still thinks I am. Don't bemad about her words. She just want me to be safe. I learnt that 17 doctors from different places of Russia will come to theUS for this exchange program. 2 doctors are from my region. The firstwe will fly to New York city (New York state). There they will collect 4 or 5 groups and send them to different states. The good moment is thatI can select the state. And I will choose your state:) But I don't knowwhat hospital or university we will work at. Sean I am so excited. Especially I am excited thinking about our meeting. I surely want to embrace you and I will do everything that depends from me to make us met. Please, write sooner what you think. I am a little nervous about coming and I want you to uphold my spirit.All this is very new to me. This letter have might been mess. I am sorry. With love.
Yours Lyuda.
p.s. I forgot to tell you. I think I will come in the July . I don't knowthe dates yet. I'll let you know