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Letter(s) from Alena Ostapyuk to James (USA)
It was pleasant to receive your letter:)
Do you know, are difficult to write for the first times..... but I will try to write... I am very glad you answered to me again...it seems to me what we are beginning to trust each other... I want to tell that I recently read there is a deceit on the Internet where Russian girls want to receive money from the western men under various pretexts and for this purpose specially correspond with them, and men which got acquainted with such girls have spent a lot of time all for nothing and cannot trust any girls any more....You are the good man and I don't want you you will get in this situation...be careful with it in any way.In the any relationship (and the more so in correspondence)I never will ask anybody about any money and even if somebody will offer money to me I not take.Money always spoilt relations. First of all I want to tell that I liked your letter and want to repeat I like your profile.You are filled by honesty and kindness, it inspires to me some hopes... You are nice man and it's easy to see...do you know this? I want to tell also money is not main thing to me I simply want to find the husband and I want to write to you the detailed definition of my nature and mine soul. I am not looking for rich man i only want kind and loving man with me to create a happy family and I know I can be a good wife When I will find my love, I agree to moving to another country.If to speak about our acquaintance, I very want that we with you prolonged our acquaintance, as I feel your desires and agree with your ideas , which is Important to me. ... I want to know you better so also I want to ask you about the reason you started search for russian (ukrainian or belorussian) girls.(I told you my reasons to search for foreign man). Please be sincere. I will understand you perfectly. You are interesting men, it is the truth.:)I have met people in Internet before, but I didn't meet anybody like you. The first reason, because your letter very strongly differed from other letters. Your letter was sincere, warm and resolute. I have finished high school and institute in my small city Rovno.
High school number 20 and institute was "REHI" - "the Rovno economic - humanitarian institute". I well studied and had all good marks in all subjects.I always skilfully to find common language with teachers.I have a degree of the economist. I love music, I not the adherent of any one musical direction.
I love variety music, I like fate, something from metal... There are good compositions of electronic music.. In general my musical predilections are similar to a kaleidoscope:) I would like to know what happend with your relations before? How much serios relations did you have and what happened? I think, that you are the man, which very seriously concerns to life and has a firm vital position therefore I want to correspond with you. The Internet at us badly works sometimes so if I suddenly shall not answer you it means that my letter has not come then tell me about it and I will resend. Here is my photo.Waiting for your letter impatiently.
I received your letter today and would like to thank you for your good letters to me. I start longing for new letters from you and some strange that my mood rises every time I receive your letter:)...
I am very happy to know that you are different from the most of the man. I almost lost hope to meet someone like you.If you win my heart, it will be yours forever.I want you know me better. I want to say,I have some time now..I continue story about myself..... In a youth.....
I studied to understand,to forgive, to appreciate friendship and fidelity... to overcome uncountable difficulties.I am frequently fell and broke in blood knees.. I Went further because the wind beat to face, the life tore forward and it was necessary to hide the soul.. I did not recognize the false purposes and artificial difficulties...
I, for example, did not love a cooked onions and never eat it...
Always thought, that in the world there are things much more interesting, than shops,cloths and expensive machines ... Always considered that the woman should be completely independent and the first place is the family.Another is not present.. Interests.The circle of my interests is wide enough: from a sit-round gathering at a fire with a guitar up to noisy parties in a night institution.The main principle that it was cheerful and easy.I love sports. Simply I adore figure skating! Itself was engaged in track and field athletics, dances.Now I go to a training hall, so, for maintenance of a good tone. I like to write letters to you....Yes.Since the time we started corresponding there in my life came a anticipation of a good mood. I feel that you are interested in me. I am smiling when I write letters to you.:)I feel your attention and your attention is very pleasure to me. I love cinema too...What kind of films do you like? I love horrors, thrillers, mysticism, comedies, in a word I love films.Different genres, the main thing that it was an interesting plot and excellent games of actors. It would seem, has passed that time when it was possible to give attention to such careless things as music, and, in particular, clips... But to me given conclusion it does not concern. I very much love music, and she is unique mine joy at the moment. ...
I'am not engaged anything special in evenings,Walked on evening with girlfriends, talked about everything on the world. I want to ask,how do you think your life with woman must be? What are your plans for life? I will answer at this question too:) You must know also,sometimes I asking myself why you are not already taken by a woman. I know you are very good and suitable person. I fell tenderness to you:)
p.s. I wait for you letter and can't wait... :)
I thought of you all last time very much. I thought of our letters and our desires.I some days ago told my girlfriends and my mother about you . They said that it's very well and they very glad to know this... I am very glad we have our acquaintance and I hope very much for the further friendship, and to large relations also. When I saw your letter I feel a hot wave of happiness in my heart to you, you are a pleasure for me, I feel I started miss you. I was born and brought up in a family where feelings and happiness of the people are valued most of all.I very value our relations My parents loved each other very much in their young years.... I want our relations will be continue, and maybe, that happiness and joy for all life we will enjoy together.:)) I do not want to live here.I have many reasons on it. One of this reason - our ciuntry is very corruption. All laws are not executed. When you will make something illegal and if the police will come to you you can pay some money and they will not arrest you and not set any questions any more .They will write in the report that you didn't do anything illegal therefore everyone can do here anything illegal:(. Ukraine takes the third place on corruption in the world. You can easily find out it. I have good familiar in police.The chief of the Rovno's city police repeatedly spoke that can help to solve any problems to me if I shall make something illegal and including with gangsters. It is very good because if suddenly once you will want to arrive to me then be no problems at you with any gangsters here. I never do anything illegal but problems with gangsters can be. But I do not want to live here.I am ready to move to another country.
I want you to know that I am looking for someone really special to be with, but difficulty to find someone with same dreams and aspirations, to truly share each other's pleasure and any another things during the bad time. You have precisely same dream as well as at me.You have precisely same idea as well as at me.I want to say you many things right now but excuse my briefness. I must go to the village now,to my Grandfather. His health is not good. He is not well. I only had time to write a few lines to you... I know, that I can give a lot of pleasure during man's life, confident if you allow me to do it.I very much waited this time when I can check up my mail box and see your words to me. I thinking of you because you are something greater than is simple letters for me else I feel that I have met you, felt your presence near me. I am happy that we have met. With ideas about you.
I am strong.
This is my hand. I with you." To be or to not be? " Banality or the malicious genius? Now or never.We are a single whole.We shall be broken together. The back road is not present!.... WE ARE TOGETHER...
At this weekend I think I shall visit church and I shall pray God for you and us.I don't looking for time and casual relations. I am the true and responsible person.Fidelity is probelief on friendship. I love mother.Always helped to her and always I shall help.. I have good relations with my relatives. I absolutely peaceful person.I consider myself a sincere, thoughtful, romantic, and kind person who enjoys the company of other people and especially my own family I love children and a home and I think that once. I shall become good mother of family - gentle and careful. I do not think - I know it... I like a man who has a good character and personality,who has sense of humour and can converse freely,someone who is interested to learn new things,who is spiritual and is caring! A man that is gentle and warm..I really think you hold all this qualities.This is man - is you! In which I and my children can be sure. The person who will appreciate family and the house.Which will love me and I him. With which to me it will be good and cosy. To me is good with you, it is very pleasant for me to communicate with you, each time seeing your letter in mine a box I feel much more than simply pleasure... Inside there is very much heat and pleasant:)...
We have the same dreams.My biggest final dream as I already spoke - amicable happy healthy families about,that after day of work it will possible to come, to those who are waits for you, it will be weakened, and to tell - as I has missed..:) That was to whom to tell- As I love you- That to this should aspires each woman. About our relationship, I think we need to get to know each other some better and then, in future (nearest future ), probably we will can meet....I hope that my loneliness came to the end and you are the man I was search for.. I think that by writing letters we can get a better understanding but it is never the same as a meeting! for me the meeting will be worth a thousand letters,I do know that I do NOT play games and know the same about you. With each your letter I am understanding that you are that man, that I am looking for..Simply know that you always in my heart... I VERY much want to know your ideas about our relations.
I am VERY waiting your next letter.
Greetings Robert! :) I want to tell you that I already with cardiac arrest open your letters:) The sensation is strange, that I feel and I know you very much for a long time. Really letters so can pull together? I was not sure in it but now I know that such are happens I know, you to me became very dear person too. Interestingly, I practically know nothing about your last life , but you as the person - yes, your private world is close and mentions, finds the response in me inside and in subconsciousness.. It seems to me that we together can open a lot of good including in ourselves, in fact speak, everyone, communicating with the new person is opened on new and opens in myself new sides, especially when people are internally very close. I not simply want will meet you, I want to be close to enjoy each minute.. Is there can be paradise on the ground? Probably is not present. It cannot be, it is good, that the life will consist of some problems........ If them problems wasn't present then minutes of happiness wouldn't be so roads and are significant.......... It is possible to find the person and a place and paradise will be not necessary,only is to be beside - this is matters...............
... My life will consist of good and bad days.. I am convinced of it even more often. Only the most unpleasant when you get for the bad days when at you many different problems and from for it appear bad mood.. Therefore is necessary to live for today, especial when at you it is light. It is necessary to be pleased lives and each minute. In fact we are smiths of our own happiness!?! I hope that at you now are good days too,but all the same, remember always, that there is a person who is ready to listen to you and to support in any days..... This person - I am. What days you have now? .... At me still it happens, that all bad are collects. It happens such seldom because all very for a long time to be saved. These days you do not want anything to do, you go as in any hibernation and you lose taste and interest to a life, but it proceeds completely not for a long time. At me day or two. And then I as though wake up with new forces, with new strong interest to a life:) At me now light and good days and in it are your merit too And I am smiling, today the most radiant smile is for you. You the truth are similar to dream - not painful, not strange up to madness, no, - on the dream full of heat and light. And it is nice, that you are. You have one more amazing quality - to be able to concern very gently - not in a real touch, in a touch of words, of offers. I envy girls who surround you. And to your friends. Interestingly, what are you with them? I do not know, whether there was something, but that you force me to smile each time when I receive your letters - sincerely and only for you - is a truth. But it is so not enough for me...already.... If the person believes,he is not lonely... he cannot be lonely... and still, you know, it seems to me, that outside a life there is a true much more more truly and most important, that the body can.... you think, I have gone mad??? I spoke you that I like to travel? But not absolutely in it are business.But if I shall open the visa, buy the ticket and fly by plain to you...how you will concern to this ? Your Olena.
Conversations with mother for a long time ago have taken place.. I have told to her about you ..... She approves everything...
Everything is under the plan..... And it means that we now for one day became closer.... Yesterday-.....
... Having buried a forehead in a window... One hour... It is not less... I thought much.... From a bottom of soul something rises featureless... Inconcrete... I feel in myself steadfast connection with the past, with the native land and tears rise to eyes... In a throat is whom, bitterness of forthcoming losses... To me it is sad but not one nerve has not trembled... Mask of impartiality......
The way back is not present..
For the sake of the greater it is necessary to endow smaller... less important, in it injustice of a life... Our time has come...
Give a hand to me...
Now we shall be together...-
I understand sense of lines... As never earlier....
Has smiled... Has departed from a window... As if has regained consciousness..... This dream once already dreamed me, you were so close... Absolutely beside, close, that I felt you as the body, your hands, your lips... They.... They were so are gentle and so are persevering.... My God, as it was............... Was.........., so it would would be desirable that it has repeated in real..... And never came to an end, and to die in your hands.... To fall asleep and to not wake up, but I have woken up and dried not yet up tears flew down on my cheeks, it wanted to me to share with someone this pleasure, tears of pleasure, but anybody beside did not appear, in fact you were only in my dream, I dreamed, would dream that you on any unusual miracle appeared near to me and all this has repeated in real, but............... You were not...., but I believe, that it will be, in fact differently is cannot be.... ... And now after everything, I see the person through, I quickly can understand there will be at me with him something or not, and to develop relations further is not meaningful, what for in vain to spend precious time, in fact life is short, and I so would like to spend her, every day, each hour, every minute and second with the favourite person, to be with him, to love him, to breathe in a step to his breath if it is certainly mutual, but such person I has not met , and not for nothing speak: " be not born beautiful- be born happy ", but I believe, that I shall be happy, with the person..... Have I really found him??????... Him - is you!!! Probably I can take holiday, open the visa and arrive.... I would like to make all this more strongly and more strongly... Correspondence is wonderful but the meeting it is a meeting.
And the question - if I to arrive that on how many days?... Where we shall live? how many you will have free time for me? How will your relatives consider to this? and to me? and how will your friends consider?
everything is important to me.
I present again and again a meeting with you.
To live expectation of this meeting. To live you. To live with you. Now both of us very much experience that are very far from each other. And this sweet, pulling feeling when you understand, that you will be near, we on the present shall be close, when even air starts to pulse from force of an attraction. This strange confidence of what, when beside love to which it is possible to touch, stroke, kiss. It will be simply possible to feel pleasant weight on a shoulder.
But while only only air, ready to weave your gentle image before me.
And hands can while to print these words only.
Words which in any way will not transfer all charm of our meeting.
All beauty, softness, sensuality. All force of desire of your hot heart.
Distance does not let off of the authority yet.
That there was no passion inside that each impulse of your soul found an exit and pleasure. For isn't the bright paints of feelings not used in a life.
That you felt every minute, every second is warm the person close to you, felt, that you are necessary, that without you there is no life and all light. And each your kiss, each touch will give a cordial welcome to reciprocal tenderness and passion penetrating through all your essence.... Forgive for such small letter today..
I do everything to arrive somewhat quicker...:))...
I spoke on work.... To me holiday will give for a month, then, if by this time not come back, me temporarily will replace......may be I never come back.. All between us will be good.... I do not think, I know it.
Do you know, between us is not a lot of distance... like day of a way if by plane to fly...day - this is not so long. With all my love.
Greetings:) New day rises and the sun ascends and people as well as yesterday and the day before yesterday and as tomorrow, as early as many - many years will fuss and run since morning..... Who is for work, who is where...
But this is not main thing, the main thing is an atmosphere of vanity, speed, people as shadows are carried by you....... And suddenly during one moment I decide to stop, look round. I stand, and around all runs there - here: people, machines, birds, dogs, cats. As in any dream I stand and I live on one time, and all world around of me as though in the accelerated mode........... And here I see, that I one who so stand, anybody from passers-by does not stop at all. This is something randomness.
I understand, that I am one......... I am one so I am lonely.....
Sometimes suddenly in this crowd is possible to notice smiles or even a greeting - there are my girlfriends, employees. But all the same I remain one. Then having hidden all ideas deeply - is deep in myself, I dive into this crowd too and............ I am carrieding and carrieding on this river. And only in depth of my consciousness and my soul the idea on IT is pulses!....... this word which to describe in any way is impossible, sits in this ideas. The anything - is a star dust, the main thing - is LOVE......
Do you know, to me now all is indifferent, all the same...
I would like and even one is necessary only - is calmness. is CALMNESS, which you can give me. I would put a head to you on knees, have closed eyes, would take your hand, and around of me the impenetrable veil will has arisen........... And inside this cocoon two essences, two essences called SOULS, it would be desirable, that they have merged in a single whole. And if at us is destiny? You did not think above it?:)) The CONFIDENCE, that when I shall woken up from dream of CALMNESS, has returned to this frail world, you will be near to me.... ... You will look to me in eyes and will tell, that you LOVE me, that you are beside..... beside, yes... already soon you will be beside, already absolutely soon.... When at you it turns out in the best way that I have arrived?..
At me still will be many business..... to finish and transfer all affairs on work, To take away already the passport with the visa put there.... To start to collect things....to go for a ticket.... Girlfriends are upset with forthcoming departure, they slightly are surprised, how it I was solved on such step - to fly to the another's country, so far....... .they do not know, that I have such you, and I feel myself very much confidently:) and very much I want to arrive faster to you I have presented, when I shall leave, this is parting.. there is tears will be much....... but there's nothing to be done. At you there most likely is hot and so there will be a whole summer, how do you think, warm things can be taken with itself? ... Bags.. It would be desirable to take more things, and necessarily a hare toy soft:).In a any way him..)).. This hare have presented me on my 12-years birthsday.. unique person who with me goes:)......... On the account of tickets, in what city the airport the nearest to you? And in what it will be more convenient to meet me?.... I want more your photos, whenever possible, will send to me ,ok?.
I am thinking of you all time...... My pleasure... My sun....:)))
Everything is beside, very beside:))
I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:))))))
P.S. It is a B-2 tourist visa.
... Yesterday again I come home.... Do you know, from loneliness the life at times seems unfair. Though is more exact -wrong, because validity is. Validity is always. Who likes, trusts and waits - will receive all this. So also we will have Our day and Hapiness.. Though is not present, it is not enough a day and it is not enough a year... but all the same, as it is difficult to understand, that someone precisely also is broken off, also waits and also bites lips. Your energy of me charges and makes happy.... In Rovno the sun again shines. For me it shines due to you. Thanks you for it:) I miss..and the ticket at me will be only to one way. I wait for this arrival and the meeting step by step to come nearer.. In fact we at all did not represent to any moment about existence each other anything. Unless guessed, that somewhere there is someone. and now we transform into a dust thousand kilometers, throwing the feelings through the rivers, mountains, woods and fields. And each word without a miss beats in heart. So I wait for this moment. The moment of a meeting. I know, banal "greetings" will sound not simply so. But today I am very much upset...
Not fast arrival does not leave another, except for how to wait..... And again to wait...... I likely cannot arrive to the nearest two or more months. I did not think that tickets such expensive. Earlier to me familiar spoke that ticket cost 200-300 dollars,but in real it's costs approximately 800 dollars. I am much upset ....But it's my problems. But time of arrival of value has no, I shall wait because I love you and in any case I shall come.... This test by time nonsense for Love... may be you will can come to me earlier... I very much want it. You became necessary for me.. With you to me it is good and quiet. You for me are already strong and invincible requirement. From it to not leave anywhere... I on distance feel your heat,strong heat, I feel very much .We are necessary each other.. It is unequivocal. Everything, everything at us will be good and another cannot be. On another I simply cannot represented. Love you, your Olena.
I want to tell to you...
I am now happy... Yes
I am happy - this most exact definition describing my condition...
The happiness - it actually is imperceptible for many people. It does not shake how misfortune, Happiness, I think, it does not come to the person as bright explosion, as a victory over a lottery. It is pleasure, instead of happiness. Momentary pleasure. The happiness is imperceptible... It comes silent, light sensation of full harmony of the world surrounding you, feeling of merge to him, and belief that you are necessary for him, to this world, and this world is created for you too.. The happiness is impossible without love, without the true love. Without love to subjects, to persons, without love to air and to the ground. The happiness is impossible without a smile. There are were such days, I remember them though it is vague, but I remember, when do not remember, that was that day, that occured, who was around of you, and whether was somebody in general, But you remember, what exactly that day you as though were floating by air, a vein, not being afraid of death, not being afraid of anything and anybody and only was pleased with everything, and supported everybody and smiled to everybody.... Now at me are such days... Due to you... In your letters I find the response to everything, that is created at me inside. Such sensation, that each word, each idea this movement towards each other... Towards to embraces. Sensual, similar to the soft and strong waves, running on bodies.
Sensation of the damp lips, little bit held down breath..... Desire to give the sensations, nestling all body, softly carrying out hands on a back, below, Is easy to bite an ear:-)).
To not leave us without sensation each other. That each section was overflown with pleasure and feeling. Then sounds, smells again will come. Again eyes will start to distinguish familiar outlines which again will want to kiss. If to speak about arrive..your offer of help told me again and again about very many good things about you (which I knew for a long time ago:)).I can't take money from you.I really can borrow money from you.It is hard to me to do it but I do it for us.Remember, I do not take money from you, I borrow money from you.
I very much appreciate your offer of the help.When I read it, just even some more seconds and I was able to cry.I so want to come to you so at once I found out here today ,have advised Western-Union, remittances worldwide money transfers, in half an hour money will be at the addressee, we have their branch.As have told me,you with your passport, and with my coordinates should go to them. Like so..
my coordinats..I don't remember exactly did I give it to you, think I did,just in case..
my name: Olena
country: Ukraine (not Russia)
zip code: 33000
adress: 6-a gvardeyskaya street, house is 2, appartment is 108 I live on another adress but in my passport still wrote this my old adress.You should wrote in western Union form this my old adress It's really hard to me to take money from you.I know that money sometimes spoil relations. Please, promise me that it will not happen between us.
(Answer on this questions please). also,as I spoke, I do not want that you help me if you hard with money too in any way.I so miss you.
For now again and again I re-read your letter that to be with you together as longer as it possible. With love, Olena.