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Letter(s) from Polina Smirnova to Rory (USA)
Thank you for your letters, I was very happy to recieve it. I know I have said this in prevous letters, so forgive me if I am being redundant, but I am amazed at how similar our views are about relationships and romance. It is amazing, I am almost wondering, it is to good to be true? What I would give to share a life experiences with the man like you in my life. I dream of that special man whom I can call "my King". I don't know who he is yet either, but I know when I meet him I will feel like I am on Cloud Nine. Somehow I feel it could be you.
As about my marriage and divorce....There is not truly too much to say. I wanted to have a family so badly and so married him whitout even knowing if I ever loved him or not. He treated me like a prinsess and said too much words of love to me and I thought his love would be enought for both of us.....but I was so very wrong.
God knows I did everything I could to make this marriage works out even thru I never really loved him. I have never cheated on him, I was always true and did my best to make him happy.....but then, after some time, hi turned to be absolutelly another person, not the same when I married him.....I think he was cheating on me .....basically he took me for granted......
I have met some other guys after my divorce, because I always knew I need to have a family, to take care of someone and love someone. But it seems like I met so many wrong people in my short life that at some point in my life I thought I would never find the right one for me. But with the times goes by, I realized that I have to stop looking and just to be waiting for someone, as I am sure the best things in life always happends when you less excpect it....don't you agree? And well it took a couple of months to get divorced legaly. As about your questions:
What is your favorite color?- Blue
Fav city - Venice as well.
Fav food - Italian as well.
Fav. music...- Sting, Robert Miles,
Fav type artwork- minimalizm.
Fav play - don't know.
Fav movie...- Beauty girl.
Fav song... - Too many.
Fav actor - Richard Gir.
Fav actress - Julia Roberts.
Fav country you would like to visit - Italy
Fav room in a house - Bedroom
Fav day of the week- Sanday.
Fav way to sleep...in clothes (pajamas or nude) - nede always. Fav sleeping position fetal, on your back, side or stomach- side Fav sexual position..on top.
Fav sexual act... straight sex, oral sex, anal sex or all of them - straight sex.
Fav form of affection..hug/embrace or kiss or holding hands - kiss. Fav child boy or girl- both.
Fav name for a child - don't know.
Fav car...do you own a car?- I don't have my own, but favorite Mercedes SLK.
Fav kind of home...country, cabin , city apartment or formal home- cabin.
Fav kind of clothes, casual/jeans formal or semi formal - jeans. Tell me the worst day of your life - passing of my StepDad. Tell me the happiest day of your life - yes, the same with me, wen I will meet the man that I will love and who will loves me. As I told you before Rory, I love to swim, I love to be on the water, I find it to be so relaxing and soothing. Last year I went to the Cremia with my mother and I went on a little catamaran cruise. It was so beautiful, the water was so blue, and the gentle waves beneath me put me at complete ease. I am looking to meet my soulmate, and I am hoping that with this correspondence we can find out if we are who each other is looking for. I totally understand the importance of faithfulness, as I have mentioned in past letters, I believe very much in being faithful, I have been hurt by a man (my ex) who have not been faithful to me and it really hurts. I am a very sensitive person and do not wish to hurt others, and due to this could not imagine doing that to someone else. I am also a gentle person. I think it is very wrong to be abusive in the relationship. I think for a relationship to flourish, a few elements must exist. Those being respect, honesty and trust, I feel that if these are present then the love between two people can grow to unmeasurable bounds. I also love children, I find them to be so innocent and so loving, they love you for who you are, and show you many things in a different light. Colors, so bright and vibrant, full of life, how beautifull is the world with all its colors, immagine it without them, how sad it would all be, the redness of a sunset, the glory of the blue sky, the deep mistery of the blue sea, the colours that make you so beautifull to watch as if every time was for the first time all over again, all in one moment, all focus, all attention taken and placed in one place.
I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you Rory, that despite the fact that we have never met, I am thinking of you, are you sleeping now? Are you dreaming of me? Or are you lying there awake, staring at the celing with your eyes wide open in the dark wondering?
It has been a glorious afternoon with the Sun setting in the evening turining the sky red and orage, deep move and blue, I sat in my room looking up at the sky as it slowly started to show it's stars to me and my thoughts wondered to you wishing to meet you as soon as possible Rory, to touch you, to kiss you, to look into your eyes. Can we make it?
I will be waiting for your next letter.
Wishing you were with me,
Thinking of you,
Thank you for your wonderful letter and thank you for being so honest and open with me. Always nice to hear from you.
Of course we should meet to find out if we meant to be together. I feel and I know that for me to get to know who you really are I need to come to you first, to see your life there, to meet your friends, to meet your family, to be around you there. This way I could find out if I could be there with you for a life time. For me to come to you it is realize your world and if I wish to be part of it. And if I would come to you first we could make a desicion right there and right then. So, my point is would you like me to come to visit you for a while for the first time? Think about it please and let me know your thoughts on it.
I have 30 days of vacation from August 1st till September 1st and I would love to come to you and spend my vacation time with you. I am very open by discussing sex. I hope that on whatever subject our conversations will be as open and frank as this. Well I will tell my ideas. For me sex is very important. Not that I want to have sex every day but I need it regularly. But what is most important for me is that it is an expression of real love. I simply am not really satisfied with a one night stand like many other men. I find sex an extension of the dear feelings that two people feel for each other. In these feelings there is no place for shame towards each others wishes. The two partners should be so close that there are no tresholds. I wish to achieve the greatest satisfaction for the other. By the way, my experience is that this gives me the greatest satisfaction myself. It is true that sex can be a remedy to cheer the partner up or to clear the sky. Is not this however all one simple thing: Love.
I believe in God Rory, but I do not go to church. The way I look at it, and this is my view. God put us here to learn about life. Sometimes he deals us a bad card and we have to deal with it, if you are strong you will survive. Life is a journey and a learning lesson, if you spend all your time at church, what are you learning about life. Not very much. As long as I am a good, honest and trustworthy person, and I believe in God in my own thoughts and prayers that should be enough for him. The only way I will know otherwise is the day I meet my maker.
Sorry If I went on a little bit then but that is how I feel. You was honest with me and I am trying to be honest with you. I am often thinking why I decited to come to the marriage site and look for someone maybe abroad. Well, I think there are many reasons. I will go through some. Like I said before I have had a few relationships in my own country. But here it is far too easy to look elsewhere, relationships in this day and age are not considered serious enough. Times change and I am old fashioned at heart. Some other countries believe in the same values as me. I understand that the language may be a little problem to start with since it is not my native language, but in time if the relationship is right, you know what each other is thinking without talking. You do not always communicate with speach.
In my country, a lot of people are very narrow minded and do not realise there is a world out there for exploring. I hope I am sort of making sense with all this and you can understand what I am saying. It is quite hard to explain.
I believe that your life is possibly mapped out for you before you start it, just sometimes you stray off the path. And it is a case of getting back on the path. I also believe one door closes, another one opens. I share the chores, and can cook and clean and iron very well, all things like that. I do not like arguements and fights. But they happen from time to time, that is where it's time for comprimise. I am fairly relaxed, but I am not a push over. I will let most things go by. I Just think about what our life's will be likeif we could be together Rory. You give me something to look forward to. I want you to know that I have never been In real love before. Could you be the men that completes my life? I wish that so much.
You know somehow I feel we will fall In love with each other Rory. I'm looking forward to our time to be together, for our first meeting so much. I wonder If you are ready for this? This is a big commitment! Tell me what you think? I love the thought of us falling in love with each other. I will be waiting impatiently for your letter,
I am very very happy to have your message!!! How is your day? It is a good one for me! I constantly think of you! I miss you so very much! My dreams is concerning about our meeting, Rory!!!! I will have to get my international passport which will cost 250 USD and will be done with in two weeks.
I called to your Embassy, they have advised me to aplly for a tourist visa and it is going to be valid during 30 days being in your country. It is costs 130 american dollars, and plus I will have to go to Kiev to the Embassy in person to aplly for visa and next day I will get my visa. So, Rory, I will to fly there as it is not save for a young woman to travel by train alone all night long, so I think the flyinght will be better. The price for two ways plane tickets to Kiev and back is 190 USD and 50$ for the on night hotel util I wil be able to get my visa. I called to my aunt that is working for the Ukrainian International airlines at the airport and she said she can make two ways tickets from Odessa to you with a student discount for 657 USD.
Also she need to know what is the nearest international airport to you. Besides there is one very important thing that your Embassy told me. I will have to buy two ways plane tickets to you before I will aplly for visa. Means that when I fly to Kiev to the Embassy I will have to show them my two ways tickets.
The person from your Embassy that I have been talking about comming to you said that I will have no problems getting my visa. The fact that I am leaving my old mother here in the Ukraine will proff to your Embassy that I will be back to Ukraine, this is all they want to make sure about. So now I am sure 100% that I will get my visa to you very easy, and besides I will be able to be with you for up to 30 days, that is so wonderfull.
But I do not have such money Rory. I am so sad. I have found the man to love me and who I can love - and I can not see him, because I have no money necessary to arrive to you. Unless you can help me?? Lovely Rory, if you want to help us to meet, you could transfer the needed sum to me and I will take care of everything to come to you. And I think it would be wise for you to send me all the money together for my trip so that I could take care of my passport, plane tickets and visa papers at the same time, and that will means that I coud come to you in time.
It is sad thing that money can brake two loving heart a part. Why is this money makes the worls goes around? I think, that money isn't most important thing in a life. I think, the most important thing is people, the person that you love and those people that dearly loves you. Money is just a paper, but the human relationship remain for ever! We should trust each other because we like each other so very much and it is seems like we meant to be together.
Will be waiting for your replay soon,
P.S. Here is my full name and home address: