Letter(s) from Ekaterina Zaharova to Patrick (USA)

Letter 1

Hi, Patrick!
How your mood? I hope that up to my letter your mood was fine, but after my letter your mood became superfine (smile) Likely I too self-confident. But I am happy again because I have again received your letter. I so waited this minute, when I can write to you.
I am glad that you have returned from Mexico. I am very glad that all was safely. It is a pity that you have not won, but in Russia speak " the Main participation but not result " you have perfectly spent and- this most important.
Picture about which you ask has been made on the river Tom' in the wooden house. It really very beautiful and picturesque place. I hate bad language. In Russia it became norm. And many people simply do not notice it. But I cannot hear it. Now you have asked if I drink. I do not drink, but I do not know that you mean. I do not drink vodka, but in Holidays I drink champagne. But if to be frank, I very much love Coca-cola.
I do not smoke, because on a box is written it is dangerous to health (smile) I really do not smoke.
Tomorrow difficult day waits for me. Tomorrow I again work in dental mobile car. I did not say it to you yet. But it happens only once a week. Dental mobile car - automobile which is more than passenger car, but is less than a lorry. Two years ago I and Victoria have written to Ministry of Health the offer to allocate the automobile to make dental mobile car. At that time we with her have consisted in society of volunteer help weak and ailing people. As a rule it is old lonely people which are not capable to live without help of extraneous people. These people could not visit hospital because they could not go independently. We have suggested to come periodically to such people on this automobile with the necessary equipment to not carry these people in hospital. This offer was approved and now we already visit more than fifty settlements in our area. Unfortunately tomorrow I will go without Victoria. On this tomorrow will be difficult day. In total in our area five such automobiles. We go in small villages and settlements where live people, which for the different reasons cannot go in city to cure a teeth. In our district a lot of such people . Now we help not only to such people, but also children living in children's orphanages. We have many orphanages, but this orphanages have no personal dental cabinet, on this every week Victoria, I and ours colleague - dental surgeon, we go in various orphanages on dental mobile car. We became friends with all children and all children love us very much, because also we visit this orphanage in the days off to give help of various sort. The state allocates very few money for the maintenance and contents of orphanages. Buildings are very old. But children do not have anybody to help them and to give them financial support. That's why some people voluntary render the feasible help. We help to repair rooms. Many walls do not have even wall-paper and stucco. The floors and beds are very old. The conditions are terrible. The meal is awful. The children practically have no toys. When I look at all this there are tears in my eyes. My girlfriend and I help to do repair. We glue wall-paper and paint the windows. We bring children new toys. You cannot imagine how children are pleased when we come. And they are glad not only because they wait for new toys, they wait for us. They require kindness and caress very much. Again I write too in detail. Forgive me, please. I simply wanted to tell that I do not know if I can write to you tomorrow. Maybe I can write, but only some lines because I will not have time.
Oh Patrick! I should go.
Sincerely and with the best regards.
I send you a picture of me and Victoria.
I hope you like it.
Your Ekaterina.

Letter 2

Hi my dear Patrick!
I was trained first at school, then in college and after that at university. A curriculum at university for 5 years. I have passed a full curriculum and after that I had professional practice during three and a half of years. I very much love my work. Many people consider that it is disgusting and unpleasant work. But I think that this work is not less important than the yard caretaker or the president. Because there are no such people who can tolerate a toothache during long time. I like to cure a teeth and to hear in the answer of a word - Thanks Doctor, Now I Again Can Chew Chewing gum (I the children's dentist. My patients - children till 16 years). Our clinic - private, but all doctors - professionals. As a rule on one patient I spend 1 hour. I make root channel and I remove a nerve, I fix dowel. I fill cavities, drill, polishing. But I do not do surgical operations. It is necessary to talk to children, that they have seen in me the friend and trusted me. Sometimes I very much get tired psychologically. Especially if children cry and shout. It is necessary to have very big patience. But I like to do what I do.
I never saw my father because he has left from mom after mom has given birth to me. All that I know about the father - his name. Mom never spoke about him. I haven't and I do not know other relatives. My parents fall into category of generation which grew in the post-war years. It was time of ruin and famine. At that time people did not give birth to many children. As a rule people gave birth only to one child for continuation of generation. On this I have no sisters or brothers, either the uncle, or the aunt. Maybe I have any distant relatives, but I do not know about it because mum never mentioned somebody. I have got used to live realizing that I absolute alone. It not a phenomenon in Russia. It is the normal fact.
I never traveled really though I can boldly tell that I adore travel. Unfortunately outside Russia I was not. Likely it is very interesting. When I leave somewhere from city even if it is not far from my city, I am glad very much. Hardly it's can be named travel. But, for me it so. I am able enjoy what I have.
I always dreamed about travel, but never reflected on where I want to travel. Would be delightful to travel there where I will be waited by man, dear to my heart.
My religion - the Orthodox Christian. I really believe in God and I go to church as a rule some times in a month. It not frequently, but I think it not the main thing if in heart there is a true belief and understanding of Word of God. My mom since the childhood imparted to me the love to Lord; but Jesus Christ has come in my heart at conscious age. But my belief true, and I give my prays to God, and I try to live observing His Sacred Precepts.
Today fine day. But only for one reason - I have received your letter. And all the rest become unimportant for me. I have enough time to tell to you that I thought of you and waited when the opportunity to write to you will appear. But I have time to tell the main thing. I do not know why, but today I have woken up earlier than usually. I could not fall asleep again. In the street already was sunlight. I sat near a window and began to look at street. Unexpectedly the small birdie sat down on a window and began to sing. She so beautifully sang. She looked at me and sang. The birdie at all was not afraid of me. I looked at this birdie and thought that you now somewhere there, far. I have thought that maybe you sleep and see me in your dream. And I have thought, if I was a birdie, I too would sit down to you on a window and began to sing my song. I have told to a birdie: " Fly off, my small birdie, and sing this song to my far but close friend Patrick. Tell him that I think of him". And in this moment the the birdie flinch and fly off , as though she has heard my words.
And I have thought, maybe this birdie really will fly to you and will sing her beautiful song. So if you Patrick will see near to yourself a small birdie which beautifully sings, know that I have sent this song to you.
Forgive, but I should go.
I want to send you my kiss if you do not object.
Your Ekaterina.

Letter 3

Hi, my far, but dear friend Patrick.
Many thanks for your letter. It was the long-awaited letter. I am really madly glad to receive your letter. I am really glad that I have found you.
I should tell to you that I have ocean of emotions and sensations which I had no in my heart before. And on this, my reason and my heart say me that I should answer by sincerity your constant sincerity. My heart and my reason says me that I should tell what I feel now because it is a part of our friendship and I should share it with you. I should tell that it was required two days to write and think over this letter, because I wanted to say just the right things to you. I didn't want to offend or upset you in anyway, and it really bothered me that saying something wrong may do that. I normally speak directly from my heart, and I am right now, but sometimes, words must be carefully chosen. I feel somewhat lost when I have no opportunity to use a computer to read your letter. In my soul, I feel contentment and joy when I think of you.
I have never done this in my life, (tried to initiate a relationship halfway across the world), and I might have much to learn about how to proceed, but I am more than willing to learn whatever it takes to succeed if that is your desire as well. I also believe that couples should be the best friends possible, which trust and share with each other everything that they feel. I do not know if my word and thoughts make sense to you, and I try very hard to put them in typed words that you will feel and understand. I believe in God, and I believe that I have been put through trials to prepare me for meeting a man with whom I will spend the rest of my life loving, to better appreciate him, respect him and cherish the love, that he would give; only asking that I return the same. I hope that my words and letters are not boring to you, but they are much more than mere words, they are my thoughts and feelings, and I send them out to you. I very much desire that you find it in your heart and are comfortable with sharing your personal feelings with me, I wish to know you on a more intimate level, I would like you to share your dreams, your hopes, your feelings of the heart with me, I truly wish to connect with you on a level that goes way beyond mere friendship. Please do not think me foolish for thinking these things, I believe that in order for anything to succeed, you have to be honest, and that is what I am doing with you. Could you close your eyes for just a minute, and think and dream of what a life we could share, what it would be like, the fun of learning each other. I really believe that dreams do come true for people which dare to believe in dreams, because if they believe in them hard enough, dreams could become in reality. I guess that you are shocked that I feel this way, but here, where I was raised, the gift of true love from a man is something that is more similar to a Mirage or self-deception, rather than mutual feeling which two enamored people can give each other. I hope that I am not rambling on with my words. I have so much that I wish to share with you, and each time I write to you, I feel there is never enough time to say everything that I want to say, and I always feel that I have forgotten something important that I wanted to share with you. Patrick, when I speak of you and I think of you, it does not matter for me what anyone else thinks. I want to tell that you are very beautiful for me. I mean, I find that you are not only attractive as a man, I also speak of the beauty that is within you, beauty of your internal world, and alas, this particular type of beauty is very special and rare. Most men have only appearances, but not have beauty inside, and this is where true beauty is. This, is that for me is the most important and significant in all limits of my character, my soul and my consciousness. Your words spoken to me with so much kindness and care, they express the beauty within you. I think that you are truly handsome, the essence of what beauty should be, and there is nothing that anyone could say to me that would compel to change my mind even a little bit. I want to reduce essence of all my letter only to one thought. I do not know if I could clearly explain all my thoughts and feelings, which overflow me now, or not. I want to tell that I feel, we become very good friends and I really enjoy our friendship. I aspire to learn you more and I dare to hope that you suppose a thought that our relations can develop more than it enough for simple friendship. It is that way which I feel. As always I hope that my letter finds you in good health and spirits, and I hope that every yours wish you have comes true one day. I will look forward to your reply as always with anticipation and impatience....
I hope that your reply is not of a harsh nature, and I look forward to its arrival.
With tenderness,

Letter 4

Hi my Patrick!
How your mood? Any your mood today I want to try to make even better.
This morning I didn't go to my job, because this morning I flew to my job. Today I came to my job beforehand. And I was first who came to the office. And I was happy all the day. My colleagues were surprised. They have asked me why I'm so happy. And I have simply answered that I have good mood. I have understood long ago but was afraid to admit to itself, that I have found to you feeling which did not feel before. I want to understand what in my heart. I want to feel your breath. I don't know, what's happened with me. Likely I can be named strange lady, but I have grown fond of your soul and heart. The rest is not important for me. For me the material world is not important. Only the world of calmness, fidelity and pure heart. It didn't happen to me before. The weather is sunny today. The sun brings joy. I'm glad that I have friend Patrick, and Patrick has me, Ekaterina. Tell me about your thoughts and dreams. I want to know all about you. Absolutely all!(smile). BUT! On Friday my boss informed me that I will have a vacation approximately in 2 or 3 weeks. But I have not been pleased. I did not expect that I will receive a vacation. But schedule constituted by accounts department not change. I have begun to cry, because it means that I cannot write to you. I cannot use a computer. Then I have found out that lady which gives me to use her computer, maybe will receive a vacation right after me, and if it will take place I can not use a computer two months. I have imagined that I should spend my vacation in my apartment, between four walls. I will sit without an opportunity to read your letters, I will sit in loneliness and to think of you. I will aimlessly wander on streets and every night fall asleep with tears on eyes. I waited my vacation the whole year and now I receive them but it do not bring to me pleasure. I have imagined that I should spend some months without you and in my heart has appeared awful emptiness. All world around became uninteresting for me. And I have told to myself: "NO! It not for me!" Last night I thought of us. About you and about me. About us together. I couldn't fall asleep. I thought what I can do to see you. I decided to spend this vacation with you. I thought what can I do to meet you. Simply to meet. It's all that I want now. I have a passport, but I don't a visa to your country.
Today I have addressed visas agency. I wondered how much it will cost for me to make American visa. They told me that consideration of the application on reception of the visa costs 100 dollars. This sum does not come back even in that case if my application will not be approved. And for getting a visa is necessary to go to Moscow where there is an American consulate. They have told that I will must visit set of various departments, state and medical institutions both in Tomsk, and in Moscow. It is necessary to wait for a long time the queue. It is a usual way of getting a visa and procedure of reception can be delayed for some weeks or even months. Besides if my application will not be approved, it will turn out that I squander money all for nothing. I said I can't wait so long. To me have told that is possible to avoid set of problems and to make all in faster terms if to use full package of service. Full package of service includes additional payments for a category of the visa, consular services, preparation for Interview with commission, interview. The full package of service costs 335 dollars, but the visas agency remove all problems and thus increases the chance of getting a visa without excessive delays. I asked how long time it will take to get a visa If to use a full package of service. They have answered that it will take about one week. Maybe 2 weeks if there will be some troubles. I have told that this variant satisfies me and I agree. I have asked, whether there will be troubles with visa, because there were the terrible terrorist actions in USA and the conflict with Iraq. I was answered that they will request information about me in the police. And if in the police they will be answered that I the law-abiding citizen, I will get the visa. I have never outraged the law. And I have never done anything unlawful. I will have preparation for interview. It will help me to receive the visa. And I really have registered the visa application with great belief and with great hope that you will be glad to meet me, with belief and with hope that you want to meet me. I really want to give you a gift - our meeting though I am not sure if you really want to meet me. Can you imagine that if everything will be well, in two weeks we can meet? If it would happen, would be it as a gift for you? Would be you happy if we could spend some days together?
I understand that our relations are not long yet. Many years I ask myself one question: "Why everything depends on money?" I think that the money is not main thing in life. The main is when the people can and want to understand each other. I have a wild desire to meet you, to embrace you. I have some savings. I do not want to cause you a monetary outlay. I will make all myself.
I know that you did not expect that I will tell all this. But it is possible to wait eternally. But in fact nobody knows that waits for us tomorrow. Maybe such opportunity will not be presented any more. I have opened to you my heart and soul. I speak what I feel. I am not confused by my feelings. I speak straight and openly. The loneliness has made me courageous. You can think that I hurry events. But I have found new feeling which never had. I am happy right now. I seem I has found what searched for long time. In Russia speak: "under a lying stone the water doesn't flow ". It mean that it is necessary to do a step onward to achieve something. I am afraid to lose an opportunity to communicate with you because I cannot eternally use office computer. But I will receive soon a vacation. During all my life I spent my vacation in my village. But now I can spend my vacation with my friend, with you! It is big happiness. I should use this opportunity. In my heart never was such confidence and feeling. And I am afraid to lose it. May be I hurry events, but I am afraid that all will be terminated, and then I will go mad. You my dear friend, and friends meet sometimes. I shall receive a vacation, it's my vacation and I want to spend it with my dear friend. I think it will be wonderful. I apologize, if have offended you. I hope, that you do not regard my words as impudence. I simply want to meet and spend some happy days with you. What will be after, I do not know. But all people meet. The distance does not frighten me. But without a meeting there can not be a continuation. I hope, that your feelings to me have not changed after that. But I want to see you to slightly becalm my tormented heart. Tell me please, can you meet me? Tell me please, you will be glad to meet me? You will be glad if I will arrive to you?
I believe and I hope that I have not angered and have not offended you. I believe and I hope that you have feelings to me. I believe and I hope that you want to meet me. It can be outlined in advance by destiny. I sincerely hope that my letter has brought pleasure to you. And I sincerely hope that you want to meet me to spend some time together. And I sincerely hope that you would be happy to meet me. Would you be happy?
Much tenderness from Ekaterina!!!

Letter 5

Hi my Patrick!
I loved absolutely all that you have written to me in your letter. Your thoughts is correct and are filled with sense and wisdom.
Today in the morning I ironed my dress. I was pensive about you, and have overlooked to remove an iron from a dress. I simply stood, looked out of the window, thought of you, I have ceased to ironing and have simply stopped a hand with an iron on a dress. You can imagine? I have burned my dress. Now in my dress the big hole. First I was upset and angry with myself. But afterwards I sat on a chair and have laughed. To me was so funny. It's a pity that you did not see me during this moment. I sat and laughed in the whole voice. It is really ridiculous. I laughed because i have understood, as far as strongly I love you. I constantly think of you. I am afraid, that if I soon will not see you my apartment will burn completely(smile).
Today I have booked a ticket on a train up to Moscow. Now I will inform you very important information. I will go in Moscow July, 1 - tomorrow in the evening. It is the best ticket and I am glad that I could to buy it. I will moving to Moscow 3 days. I should arrive to Moscow beforehand to have enough time for arrival in the airport, registration of the ticket. Moscow is very big city and I should have enough time for this purpose. I shall arrive to Moscow in the evening on July, 3. On a way to Moscow I will have some very long stops. I will try to write to you from Internet - cafe. I will tell to you about my trip. Very long and tiresome way. But I will think of us and it will help me. In Moscow I will stop in a waiting room. There I will spend night. I will write to you from Moscow. You do not imagine how I worry. I want to ask you prayed for me while I will be in road. Promise me.