Letter(s) from Natalia Isaeva to Jorge (USA)

Letter 1

Hi, my Jorge.
I even do not know what to tell first. I simply hope that you will be happy!
The most important, finest news - I did it! I got the visa! I am very happy!!!!
I as well have found out that I will get vacation February, 26, 2007.
I have been to the company that reserves airway tickets. I have asked to find the cheapest ticket up to any of these airports: MIA, FLL. And they have found the ticket. They answered that they had a cheaper ticket and the beginning of the flight March, 2, 2007. I should fly to airport Miami (MIA).
It costs $892 USD. It was the best variant for me. I asked them to reserve a ticket.
But they refused, because they can't reserve the ticket without advance payment. I must pay full cost. I have asked if I can pay a part of money now, and the other part later. They have told that it is possible, but I will be limited by term. And if I will not pay the full cost of the ticket within of this term, I will lose already nested money. I have agreed because it is the only chance for me, because I must give to anti-emigration committee a data about my payment. By this moment I had only the concrete sum of money which I had after all my expenses.
I paid $ 440 USD. But it was not enough for them. In a panic, all what Elena and I could do - we pawned our earrings and gold rings and I got $ 54 USD.
That is all I could do. The number of the flight on which I will get the ticket is 31 Delta
The time of departure from Moscow is 12:55 pm. The time of arrival in Miami is 8:51 pm.
I will change a plan in New York (JFK), number of the flight 1627 Delta.
After this I will fly to Miami, to you.
I know that probably I simply must tell that I can't come to you because I haven't the remaining sum. I know that I promised to do all by self, and I was sure that I can. I did not want to ask you. But after I did everything I did, I cannot simply tell that I will not come to you. I have passed through so many difficulties, and I have overcome the most difficult. But all the same I have disgusting feeling that I could not fulfill the promise. I am always ready to do all what is possible,- to fulfill my promises, but at the same time I understand that any person could get in such a situation. To get the visa I have spent much more money than I expected. But people were ready to help me only if I will pay them. I paid more than 400 dollars to get all documents, I paid in municipal committee, in the ministry. Even officers in army garrison have compelled me to pay for their help. I did not expect all this, but up to the last moment I was sure that I still can make everything. I expected that I can get a vacation payment. We get a vacation payment after ending of a vacation. I asked to give me this money now because I need this money urgently. But, at the last moment I have got the answer that I can get this money urgently only in case of serious illness or for example in case of death of the relative. I feel so guilty. I was sure that nothing can prevent our meeting. But I must pay remaining sum. It is $ 398 USD. And I must pay money before February 20, morning. Otherwise I will lose my nested money and our jewelry will be sold out simply in vain. I know that I should not ask you, and I am very ashamed to do it. And maybe I really simply had to tell you that I can't meet with you because I could not provide my travel completely. But I cannot simply refuse our meeting because then all my diligence, forces, nerves, means will be spent in vain. I understand that for you it is too big sum to lend me. You are not obliged to help me. And 400 dollars which I have spent to get the visa, and 494 $ that I have given for the ticket are huge money for me. But I want you to know that I have given everything not for the sake of myself, but for the sake of us, for the sake of you and me. And I was happy all this time. If you want to meet me, to help me to make our meeting, please, send money to the help before February 20, morning. I want you to be confident in my sincerity, that is why I send you the view of my visa. I want you to see the result of my efforts.
I address to you only because I need it right now, because the anti-emigration committee waits for me with all documents and I am obliged to come to committee according to appointed term.
If you can help me I will tell you what I have found out. Elena said that you can help me with the help of remittance system. So we have addressed to the nearest bank. We have been told that they use the system ’’Western Union’’. They have told that it is very convenient office for me; and this system works always and reliably. If you can help, please, send your help to Elena Zaharova. I cannot leave clinic, but Elena has a lot of free time and she can receive your help and bring it to me. That is why I ask to send your help to Elena Zaharova. I give you necessary elements for sending money with the help of ’’Western Union’’:
Rynok Lyudmila
Pyatigorsk, Russia 357350
for Elena Zaharova.
In bank I have been told, that to get the money, Elena must tell to employee of bank your full name, your full address, exact sent sum and the confidential number - Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN). You will get this number in your bank if you will send your help. Only with presence of all this information she can get your help.
I do not know what answer I will get from you. I very much am afraid that you will not help me. But I want to tell, that I really need you, and I simply can't endure the thought that I did almost everything, but I will not meet you. I understand that it is big money. I have given all my forces, but together we are stronger. I really ask you to help me. I will give you back all your money at the earliest opportunity.
I have written you honestly and sincerely. Are you with me?
Your Margarita.

Letter 2

Hi my Jorge! When I waited your letter, I was so tense. I am very grateful to you! I really was afraid to ask the help because people in Russia do not like to help each other. Elena always helps me as well as I help her. We never ask something in exchange to the help. Now in my life there are two people who I can rely completely on. Now in my life there are you and I feel myself as behind a stone wall. I am afraid of nothing. Now I know that we will be together and I can thank you not by words but my feelings. I can prove to you that you are worthy of most best in this life and if I can give you the best, I will make it.
And deal is not that you have decided to help me. The reason of my happiness and pleasure is that you understand me. I ask you the help, and it is really necessary for me. Your words gave calmness to my heart. My dear! Your words have convinced me that now I meet you and I will be happy as never before. You have offered your help and it is very big money. You are a true man and I am very grateful to you. I ask you only what I really need. But I want you to know, that I would be grateful to you in any case. I am grateful to you already now. Any your help is a big support for me. I will be grateful to you for any help. I did not want to put you into inconvenient position. Please forgive me once again. The word of honor,- if I could do without your help, I would not began to ask you about the help. You are the last person to whom I has addressed for the help, but not the first. I think nevertheless I must explain why I have addressed to you. I want you to understand that I really did all what I could. I expected that I could convince the boss of mine to give me vacation payment now.
If I could receive this money now, I would pay my travel completely. But I was refused. Also, I have been compelled to buy new windows for my apartment. I have prepared this money for the ticket. But I cannot leave my apartment with broken windows. That's why I have bought a glass and have employed the repairman to fix it. I could not make it by myself. And of course I have been compelled to pay for his work. In Russia nobody will make it free-of-charge. I did not want to tell to you about all these things. But I want you to understand that I did not want to ask you. I really tried to make everything what in my forces. But I did not expect all these unforeseen circumstances. But now I have you, you are my hope and support, and I think that if I ask you the help, it is not a sin. I really want to be with you. I understand that I must do all by self. But I could not and I leave my destiny in your hands. I need you and I wait your answer, your love and your help. Once again forgive me. I so want to thank you. I'm so happy that I will see you. Simply know, that I am sincerely grateful to you and I will prove to you it when I will arrive to you. And of course I will give you back all your money as soon as I will get my vacation money!
But now I have given all what I could. And all what I have now are my Feelings, the sincerity of which I think I has proved; and Hope that you will not throw me now when the most difficult things are behind. I want to thank you again. I'm happy that I will see you. Now I am sure in it on 1000 %. And it so calms me. Together we are much stronger, and to go thru obstacles together is much easier. I really haven't anybody more except of you and Elena.
I will arrive to you on March, 2, 2007. Please my dear, do not mix and do not forget! I do not want to stay at the airport in loneliness. March, 2, 2007.
at 8:51 pm (your time) Miami (MIA) 1627 Delta.
Date of my returning is March, 20.
My dear, you know, I have never been on a plane before. And I should tell that I am afraid. I so often saw in TV-news about accidents - air crashes, when all passengers perish.
Are you afraid to fly by plane? I am really afraid. And I am afraid that I will have feeling of a nausea. You should teach me how to not worry in a plane!
I hope for you. Your yesterday, your today, your for ever - Margarita!

Letter 3

Hi my soul Jorge.
My dear! Thank you for everything that you do for me! Thank you for your diligence to help me. I believe that you will help me. I hope for you. I never would address to you if I could do without your help. But you are a man for the sake of whom I did all this; you are a man to whom I want to give my heart; in whose arms I want to be; that's why I address to you. I have given all my forces. I believe that if you have told that you will help, you will do it. I will wait. I trust you because my heart belongs to you. I as well want to tell you that next week I will be able to receive your help by self and you do not need to send it for Elena. Next week Elena will not have a free time and will not be able to leave clinic while I will be able!!!! Forgive me for all this! Simply Elena has unexpectedly got additional work and will not be able to leave clinic. But I next week will be able to leave clinic and to receive your help...If you will help, please, send your help directly for me!!! My name is Margarita and my surname is Vladimirova. So if you will really help me, you should send your help for me – Margarita Vladimirova!!!
I cannot write much. I have received your letter for a long time ago, but I only have come for some minutes here, and I have some minutes to write to you! You cannot imagine what occurs in my heart and in my soul! Thoughts about our meeting make me happy! I even am happy when I alone in my apartment! Do you know why? I know that we will meet, and I simply I have no words. My heart completely obeys you! You are my man! Yesterday I began to knit a sweater for you. It will be my gift. I knit a sweater of Angora wool. Do you like a sweater? Do you like to wear sweater when cold in the street? I am absolutely sure that you will like this sweater. I make it with such big love. I make it so studiously. It will be the best sweater in America. (smile) Color - is slightly darkest than white. - Very beautiful color. I want to make on a front part of a sweater an inscription - the name. First I wanted to make name - "Margarita". But now I want to make a name - Jorge. And I do not know what do you want. The name will be not big. Probably male's sweater must be with male's name. Or maybe you want me to not make any names at all? I can make simply a sweater, without any inscriptions. You have 3 days to make the decision - what name you want to see on a chest. If you do not write to me, I will take the decision by myself, but I will not tell you. I will give you this sweater at the Airport. Do you like my idea? I assure you, you will admired! (Smile). We several times knited similar sweaters; and we used for a base the pictures from modern magazines of clothes. But your sweater will be the best! Because I will do it with special love. It will be my gift for you! Elena will help me so that I have had time to finish it before my arrival to you! Could you tell me the volume of your chest, and the length of your hand from a shoulder up to a wrist? Or simply a size of clothes that you wear? It will help me! By the way, I as well will bring for you a small Russian souvenir! And some other souvenirs for other people who are dear for you! I hope you will be glad! I do not know how to thank you for everything. You have changed my life. I am so happy. Now I have no any sad thoughts in my head. The only thing that frightens me - the plane. I am afraid that I will have feeling of a nausea. And I am afraid that the plane will fall! Forgive me, maybe it is silly for you. But in the tv I really so often saw planes which fell. Jorge, I WANT TO HAVE THE PARACHUTE!!!! (Smile). Soon we will be together and it will be wonderful. If we fated to become single whole, I believe that it will be. Our hearts are like two great oceans. They are vast and very deep yet calm an peaceful on the surface.
Our feeling run very deep and they are very strong. Sometimes we get afraid we will be pulled under by the current. I dream that our two oceans will meet in a powerfull wave that will shake the very earth. And when all is done there will be one vast beautiful ocean, beautiful, powerful and forever...one heart, one ocean. Jorge you have given me much more than you can realize. You are my prayer, my shelter from hopelessness and despair, only you can keep the spark in my soul burning bright. My dear, I will be happy to stay with you in a place you will choose for us!!! Your Margarita.
P.S. If you really will be able to help me, please, remember that my full name
Margarita Vladimirova!
So you will need to send your help to my name!

Letter 4

Hi my Jorge!
My dear, please, forgive me for all inconveniences that I cause to you. I am very sorry . But I ask you, please, correct a receiver's name. I have been in the bank and they have told that you can change it without any problems. You will spend only a few minutes! All other information remain the same. You do not need at all to change MTCN! Please, I beg you simply to change the receiver's name. Please, make it for Margarita Vladimirova. I have been told that the cashier simply will change receiver's name in a computer and will write that the receiver is Margarita Vladimirova. That is all!!! Elena will work all the time and she simply cannot go to bank next week. I really ask to forgive me, but please, do a last effort for me, please, change a receiver's name. I could receive your help at any moment because I now I have free time! But Elena can't. I have been in bank that you can change it very easily. Simply ask the cashier in the Western Union to change a name. Money are still in bank. All that I ask - to change receiver's name. The Money Transfer Control Number remain the same. So I hope that you can do it. I ask you. I understand that I put you in inconvenient position, but it circumstances and I simply did not expect, that Elena will get assignment for additional work this week. Please, understand me. Many thanks for everything what you did for me. I very much grateful to you. Now in my heart all is quiet. I am very glad, that you will help me. Now I will prepare for departure. I'm so happy that my dream comes true. You have trusted me and not in vain. I till now cannot understand, how American ladies could miss such a treasure. When I will be with you, I will show to all American ladies how necessary to love and how Russian girl able to love. You have the kindest and attentive heart. I am so happy! I am happy every day, but now to my happiness the was added absolute confidence, that I will meet you! And it is simply fantastic. I’m in a fairy tale that already turns to a reality! First you brightened my life and made me feel loved, now you will help me! And when we will meet you will understand that my gratitude for everything that you already did for me is much greater than I could express by the words! Please, just change the receiver’s name, I am begging you!!!!! Today is a wonderful day because today in the morning I have again painted out the one cell in my big calendar on the wall! Now it is my favorite deal since morning! The first thing I do now when I wake up - I cross out a cell of the last day in the calendar, and I see that less and less days remains up to our meeting. It is such a delightful feeling. Today as always I wanted to jog, but I could not, Jorge!!! I simply walked on the street with smile on my face. I did not want to jog. I simply walked, imagined you near to me, imagined that you hold my hand. I even have imagined that you are in a sweater that I knit for you! (Smile). I so want to close my eyes for some time; and then to open my eyes and to see you and your smile. I so want our dreams to come true as soon as possible. I so want to feel for the first time the warmth of your hand, taste of your lips. I so want, looking into your eyes, to tell you everything what I feel! And I want to tell it in both languages! (Smile) Today I was talking to Elena, and she began to tease me. She said: " If you, Margarita, were not the best friend of mine, I would write the letter to Jorge and he would forget you, and he would speak only with me! " (Smile). I have answered that you, Jorge will not ever exchange me for anybody! But she continued to tease me and we have started to argue! (we joked of course). But Elena continued to tell that she too has good hair, that her eyes are more beautiful than mine, that she is more seductive than I. We laughed, but soon my patience has ended, and I have hurled into Elena the rag by which we wipe a dust in a cabinet! Of course Elena has hurled this rag back. Then I have again hurled this rag into her but she has hidden under a table and began to laugh loudly like the small child. We have forgotten that we are in clinic, that I am dentist and Elena is a gynecologist's assistant, we have forgotten that we are 30-years old women, we have forgotten that our boss - the strict severe person, we have forgotten about everything and simply laughed, jumped and struggled like the schoolgirl! But you, Jorge, cannot imagine at all what has happened at the next moment! When Elena stood near a door, I have hurled into her a rag, but at the same moment when Elena has evaded,- the door has opened and our boss has come into our cabinet!!!!!! And the rag which I has hurled has landed right onto his face!!!! Jorge, it was unique!!! He was simply shocked. Some seconds he simply stood with a rag on the face and even did not remove it. He was completely stunned. He simply could not believe that the thirty-year woman - the doctor - has hurled a rag right into the face of the boss!!!! He was so ridiculous, that first, Elena and I simply stood with open mouthes, but after some seconds we have simply started to laugh like lunatics! (Smile). When we have ceased to laugh, the furious boss started to shout and offend us. He told some bad things, and at this moment something happened inside me! I have felt that I am not a weak lonely woman, like I was in the past! I have felt that I have you, Jorge, and I am not afraid of anything in the life now. And I have told to him: " I'm sorry for the rag, but listen, if you once again will dare to shout at me, if you once again will dare to tell me a rough words, if you once again will offend any woman in our clinic, I will inform my boyfriend Jorge about it, and Jorge will transform you into a cutlet!!! " (Smile). Jorge, I always was afraid of my boss and always was silent when he offended me. But today when I have told all this to him, he was simply lost for words. He simply did not expect it from me. He was so scared, that he even haven't answered me, and simply has gone. Jorge, now all women in our
clinic know that I have a boyfriend, and that my boyfriend has frightened our boss as nobody before! (Smile). Thank you Jorge! Elena asks to allow her to drop you a line. I hope you will not be annoyed. She simply wants to tell some kind words, as she asserts! (Smile):

Well well well! ok! Hi! it is Elena! I am not knows englesh good. So fogive me.
I know you veri good becous Margarita is tolk abaut you 24 hourses in the evry day! I onli want tell you - the thank you becous Margarita is was never to smile in the work in the past time. But now she is smile and she is hapy! Please save Margarita froum tears and please do not do Margarita cry. She it is very good wouman, and you will to be hapy togezer with Margarita. You it is good man.
I to wish to you and the Margarita be hapy togezer! Good by. Elena.
Jorge, I read all what she has written and I laugh. I wanted to correct her mistakes, but she has not allowed. I only hope you can understand everything that she wanted to tell. I understand everything, but I am not sure about you. You make us smile. Thank you. I will finish my letter, but I will think of you, and I hope you will come to me in my sleep-dream tonight? (Smile). I will wait for you! (Smile). Your Margarita.
P.S. Please, I beg you to change the receiver's name. Please, make it for
Margarita Vladimirova. Elena will be working all the time and she simply can’t get it! I will hope you will change it. My name is Margarita Vladimirova.