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Letter(s) from Alina Ruzieva to Daniel (USA)
It was nice to get your letter. I am glad that you have found free time to write me an answer. I like the way we started our conversation, I'm glad that you understood my wishes. I am checking my mail on my work, usually during the day I have couple of chances to use the computer. How are you? I like to meet new people, but I don't know much in America. People here are open and have some difference from the people that living in Russia. I am here for three weeks already. I really enjoy the time of being here. Earlier I had a plan to go back to Russia after I will finish my work here. But now I'm thinking over another variant stay here and continue my work and our communication. I am working in very friendly atmosphere and my collegues are great people. I have finished the Educational University in Russia. And now I found myself here working with abandoned kids. I like my job as I like to help people especially children because they deserve only the best. Children that don't have their own parents have diffuculties in such an young age. In the center I work there is some from Russia. They were adopted in Russia and got here to the US and then left alone for some reasons. It is sad that someone can't keep the responsibility. You know I have a great parents. They are always love me and I grown in very friendly atmosphere. I value that they always understand me and never be too strict. Our relations was allways based on support and good advice. I can say that my mother is my best friend for me, I can share everything with her about my life. She never pressed me in my decisions and I am very appreciate her. As for my dad, he is an example of ideal man for me. Strong, wise, caring and loving husband and father, he is allways a protector for me, so gentle and friendly all the time. I'm lucky that I had a happy childhood. That's why I am trying to give all my love and care to the kids I work with, and you know they always give it back. I wonder do you like your job and what is the main thing for you in what you do? I like your interest for me and I will be glad to let you know more about me. I'm sure that true love is a miracle and it needs to be grown like a tender flower, step by step. And it can take some time to make it bloom. And more you are gentle and patient, than more beautiful will be a result. I believe in this and I will be glad if you will share my thoughts about this. What would you say?
By the way... As for my favorite color it blue and red. I like light blue color because it remind me a summer sky and red color just suits me.
You asked me about the place I live. So my work is provide me with the room to live in the Upper West Side New York. It is small but comfortable and cozy. I have no room mate, I think this flat is too small for two. I have a TV, refrigerator, microwave oven, one bathroom... Well everything what I need for life and rest. I like to make place where I live cozy, I like to decorate it. Do you think your place is cozy? How often you change the decoration? Do you like it?
I have a couple of questions for you, I hope you don't mind to let me know how long was your last relations? If you don't feel comfortable enough to answer, it is ok. It is very interesting to know how did you start to search for your soulmate in the Internet? Do you have any experience in Internet dating? Ok I think it is enough questions for today. I will be glad to see your letter again. Have a nice day.
How are you?
Have some free time and I'm very glad that I can write you. I'm sorry that I didn't write you last one day, I had a lot of work and was unable to get to the computer. I'm glad that I can write you again now.
You know, I noticed that our correspondence brings some ideas to me. I think it is just great that we have met. I'm sure that each of us experienced a painful condition of loneliness.
Melancholy and hopeless, as grey autumn day. When it seems, that you are not necessary for anybody, when you see embracing couples and to feel that all the people around are completely indifferent to you. Unfortunately, we are born from love and participation, and we leave in the world in full loneliness. Sometimes I feel so lonely in this big big city. When there are so much people around, you understand that the person is necessary for the person! Like mother needs child and kid need his parents. We are all need someone. And we all need love and care. Isn't? Love. You know, I really think that it is not just a physical connection, it is a sensation of full unity at all levels of our existence. First of all, at a level of soul. In such affinity you are absolutely free from social obligations and stereotypes, expectations and rules.
We need to leave the fear of being rejected and offended and we can relax completely and dissolve in our mutual participation. You know I'm glad that we have Internet. For me it is a great opportunity to tell more about me and my thougts to you, even we haven't see each other yet. And more we communicate, than more I want to see you in real one day. And when it happen you will know who I am already from my letters. So we can meet our first time, but we can feel like an old friends, or more... Thats why I'm trying to tell you more about my inner world, my outlook, my thoughts now. And that's the reason why I'm asking you to be open and honest with me. I want you to know, you giving me the most important and necessary things like your interest, your dialogue and your friendship.I hope it is the beginning of something special for me and you, I would like to know you better. You know for a woman in our world it is sometimes very hard to trust someone. But I am not scared. I just living my life and first of all I listen to my heart and follow my intuition. It would be great if I can participate in you. If you feel the same, if you feel that you need someone to discover and open your heart, thoughts. I want you to know that you can count on me and speak open with me. It would be great if my advice and sharing can be useful for you. Actualy even in Russia I didn't speak so open to anybody and escpecialy with the strangers. But here in US I feel that most people here are very open, communicable and free to express themselves. I think it is great. I want to know how do you see the future of our relations? And one more time I am glad that I have met you, I always have a big smile on my face when I read your letters and write you a reply:)
Hi dear, Dan!!!
I am sorry that I didn't wrote to you yesterday. I just had no time to use my computer.
Hope you're well. As for me I'm just fine. My day began with exciting news. When I came at the work this morning, I was invited to my boss office for a talk. She told me that she had a call from Russian Department of Education and I need go back to Russia, they now ordering the ticket for me. Also she said that they had a great pleasure to work with me and that I have got a talent, they really satisfied with my work in the Center. I got very good recomendations which I am sure will help me. I am so glad it means that I have done my job really great and I have some future in the US:) And now I just have to go back to Russia just to prolong my visa and make a report in the Department of Education. I am sure that it will not take much time, and as soon as my visa will be ready I will be back to the USA. I think it will take a week or even less.
So you see I have not much time here and it would be just great if we can talk on the phone. Please call me as soon as you can, I want to hear your voice and talk to you. The best time to call me from 11 am till 4 pm I think I will leave tomorrow. Not much time left. And I hope you understand my intention to speak with you.
I leave the US tomorrow, because as soon I prolong my visa as soon I will be able to came back. It is a very pity for me, that I can not celebrate Christmas in America :( But I am going to celebrate New Year Eve here, I think it will be the greatest holidays in my life:) It would be great if we could meet during this holidays. I want it so much! It will be great to see my parents because I miss them much and I am sure they will be happy to know that we have a conversation. I hope that you will not miss me a lot :) I feel that a new stage of my life begins, I feel really great about this. I ask you try to call me today or tomorrow morning. Ok? I will take a touch with you and will try to write you everyday from Russia. I think I can give you a call sometime, what do you think? Well, I got to go now. I will wait for your letter tomorrow.
Hi dear, Dan!!!
How are you doing today? What's your news? I am glad that I found a minute to write you what's going on in my life. Today I work hard, the whole world crushing down on me, but it's ok, I know it is just temporarily and everything will eventualy work out for the best, always remember that dear Dan :) I am just a little bit tired, but I always feel better when I write you. Everytime I write you I have a big smile on my face and feel something good in my heart. I am sorry but I am a little bit sleepy, because yesterday I was writing my report till the early morning. You know, sometimes I am fond of writing something especially when it is interesting and important for me and I just don't notice how the time pass:)
So I went to bed only at 3am and waked up about 7am. So I hope you understand how I feel now:)
By the way, I just wonder, what do you want to get at Christmas?
What gift would you like? And what do you expect from 2006?
Please answer:) Ok? I will write a long letter tommorow.
Take care. Write me more. Later...
How are you? I'm fine, I'm in good mood today and I want to share it with you. Hope you ok:)
I was missing you and decided to write you few words. You know, I'm thinking a lot about our relations, and what we do. I was reading your letters again and smiling, you're so cool. I really like the way communicate. And more I think about the possibility of our meeting one day. I think that I'm ready to take some further steps with you. I know that I can trust you now, you are great person for me, the man who can hold my interest and to whom I can speak open. I want you to call me, I want to hear your voice cause I miss the live communication between us. I hope you are really feel the same way. I'm thinking and worrying about my near trip to Russia.
It is pity that I can not prolong my visa being here in US and I have to go to Russia to do it, because I will also need to make a report in the department of education. I think I have a lot to tell them about my work here. My report will soon be ready, I write it every day and it is going alright. I really hope that my department will be satisfied with my work here in child center. And I also hope that I will arrange everything pretty quick and back to US very soon. I want to be in time and back here till the Christmas.
I would like to spend few holydays with you. Wherever you want.
You can visit my place or I will go to yours, actually it doesn't matter and it depends on your decision if you want to meet.
I just want to see you in real, spend some time with you just talking and having fun. Please let me know what do you think about this? Or have you ever thought about it? What would you like to do if we meet? I don't know much yet about american lifestyle but I really want to know more and I hope you will help me to learn something about your country, about people and about you.
Maybe you have some special places that you want to show me at your place, it would be very interesting to see it. I believe that nothing matter happen without a reason. And if we have a mutual sympathy we must let it grow and we don't need to hide. As for me I don't want to hide my feelings. Because I trust you my thoughts and you know it is great that youre so open with me too. I know that we are living in the world full of indifference and loneliness. But I want to do my best to be understanding and loving and maybe make someone happy. I'm always trying to help others with my smile and advice and if I see someone need my care and support of course I will give my hand. I feel that I have so much love to share and want to be useful for someone special in my life. By the way I have a surprise for you:) A little fragment of video filmed here, starring me and little Patrick:) Check it out, I hope you will enjoy it.
Ok dear...I want you to give me your opinion about my thoughts. I need your advice and support because I feel now that something special starting in my life. Please, don't forget I will wait for your call tomorow:) I hope to receive your reply soon.
Hello dear, Dan!!!
Hope things go well at your side? How is your weekend there? I wanted to say to you that I enjoy our communication and feel that I can speak to you free and open.
I feel that I can share my thoughts with you and you show the interest for me. You know, half year ago I even couldn't imagine that I found myself here in the USA and that I would participate the internet dating. Since I came here my life changed, I changed, some of my views changed. But I can say that these changes for good. I really like where I am now. I became more independent and look at life in diffrent angle. I like the changes in me. This experience of being out my country and away from my parents helps me to understand what I am and where I go.
I understood how it is important to have a family, to love and care someone. I understood that I lack it in my life. That's why I have decided to use internet dating and wrote you. I feel myself a little bit lonely, but it is ok. I believe that I will find a man with whom I will be happy. To tell the truth I miss the feeling of being in love. When everything around lit up with beautiful, new light. It is very exciting and pleasant to feel the connection with that beautiful feeling - love. To love someone it means for me to accept the man as he is, to dissolved in your partner like in the ocean and catch his wave. Sometimes it seems that love gone somewhere, but I think it is not true, because love can't dissapear. We are too strong adhered to stereotypes and expectations.
I believe that another person never can be the territory which is learned till the end because man change every second. But people so frequently dare to act in a role of judges and to display everythings on shelves and even something that can't be putted on shelf and should always remain a secret. Then people feel themselves deceived victims of own expectations and scenes of a life. I think everything that people need to do with it, it is just allow to occur to events and to leave open the ending. That it was impossible to finish and that it last indefinitely... That's what I think about love and hope I have enough skills in English for you to understand what I wanted to say:) I really want you to catch my mood in my letter. Because when I read your letters I always have a big smile. Our conversation means so much for me. I don't know what future hold for us but I want you to know - it is very seriouse for me. I wish you a great weekend and will enjoy mine. I will wait for your next letter.
Take care and have a nice weekend.
Hello dear Dan!!!
How are you? I'm fine, I'm at my work and in great mood today.
Yesterday I spend a great evening in company of Jenny and Patrick. We were talking and laughing a lot, drinking tea, playing. We were talking about Russia with Jenny. She told me that her parents was scaring her when she was a young girl, they usually told her that ugly russian kommunists will come for her if she will be naughty. I was so laughing about that. Jenny told me that she was studying russian history and language a little in the college. My parents never told me about mean americans, I was heard only about poor american workers and abused afro-americans. Yeah you know, things are changed since that time. I'm glad that our countries are have a friendship.
You know, I don't use my real name on internet usually. I think it is good for privacy and it is not reasonable to give your real name to unknown person. And I couldn't say my real name to you if I don't trust you. But now I see that you are a good man and you are real, so I can tell you and don't wanna hide it from you. I want you to know that my real name is Alina. I usualy use my nick Elena in my correspondence with my girlfriends in Russia and on internet sometimes. I don't want you to think it is my real name:)
I don't mind if people use nicknames, and by the way what is yours if you have it. What it was when you was a boy? Usually kids use very funny nicknames:)
By the way, Jenny made a couple of photos of me and Patrick, so I decided to share it with you. Hope you like it.
Ok, You asked me about the place I live. So my work is provide me with the room to live in the Upper West Side New York. It is small but comfortable and cozy. I have no room mate, I think this flat is too small for two. I have a TV, refrigerator, microwave oven, one bathroom... Well everything what I need for life and rest. I like to make place where I live cozy, I like to decorate it.
Right now when I write you a letter I am trying to set up PayPal account, I have never used it before and it is hard for me to fill all these forms propaly. They asked me to do a Pay Pal account for my salary. You know the progress here in America shocking sometimes:) Anyway I keep trying, they said it is necessary, so I have no choice. I am gald that I can write you to have a little rest and share my news with you. You know, I am thinking about Christams and how to spend it. I really want to celebrate coming Christmas in America. I bet it will be great. It will be my first Christmas out of my country. So what is your plans for Christmas? Do think is it possible for us to meet it together? I have no company yet and it would be just great to spend my first Christmas in america with you. Please, tell me what do you think about it? Ok I have to get back to Pay Pal and hope I will manage to set it up at last. So take care and I will be wait for your answer about this Christmas. Ok?
How are you doing?
There is a brake in my job and I can use the computer. My day is started just great, but I still have a lot of to do today. It's ok, I slept well and feel a lot of energy. Just get kids sleep, they are tired because we were playing a lot today and were very active. They usually ask a million questions about everything :) I really like to answer them and like to explain everything in this world. I just like that feeling. What makes you feel good today, what is your news? You know I'm glad we have such a pretty conversation. I really feel like I want to know more about you. Thank you for answering my questions, it is very sweet of you to be so open. I value this quality in people. You know I have noticed something during the time I'm here. I see that most of american women are very independent and strong but in Russia independent and strong woman trying to set up for her man. I think that the main point for Russian woman is to belong to someone she loves. Here in America I see that man and woman instead of equality get an opposition sometimes. In Russia the family for woman is always on the first place. We don't need equal rights because the strength of woman and man is different but in relations it is something that called harmony. What do you think? Am I right? Man is always a conqueror and woman is born to love but not to fight. I think that on the natural level every woman trying to find a man that better and stronger then she is. If she doesn't find love of such man she becoming a feminist. I am not a faminist and think that there is something wrong in that idea. I believe that any man can win the heart of any woman in the world if he has enough of persistence, patience and fascinated mind. Do you share my point of view? I think that any woman can have enough of her heart and energy to keep the house and do her career but it is possible only if she gets inspiration from her man. And nothing could make a woman more beautiful than love. And good conversation with an interesting man it is always a pleasure and very useful, especialy for a young woman. Hope you you have a nice day and not too busy to read my letter. I was glad to share some of my thoughts with you and I hope you will share some of yours with me.
Here it is another picture of me and hope you like it.
Ok. I think I got to go.
Hello dear Dan!!!
How are you doing ? Hope you had a good rest before business week.
I am just fine. I am sorry that I didn't write you yesterday, I just was short of time and didn't get to the computer.
Did you miss me?
Today's morning began with broken hair drier :( I just started to dry my hair, first it was working as usual for a while but then he just suddenly stopped working. I don't know what's the reason, anyway it was working for two years. So I have decided that I need a new one. I waited my hair dried and went to the WalMart.
Oh, you know really huge store!!! There is no such huge stores in Bugulma. I think it is great that you can buy everything you need not leaving one bulding. I was glad the opportunity to have a walk and look around. At first I even didn't know where to go, there was crowds of people. I wish you were here with me to see all the great things here. I think it would be great, just walking together, talking, laughing:). I would see what things you like best, whats your favorite departments. I would like to hear your advices about everything. I hope we will have a chance to do it, are you agree? :) You know it is really amazing, the whole store is so wonderful decorated.
Reminders of coming Christmas are everywhere, a lot of different lights, a lot of music. I felt hungry while walking around and had a bite. I have bought a nice new branded hair drier for such a low price, I bought also some presents for my parents and some things for me:
new jeans, couple of t-shorts, sweater and some cosmetic stuff.
You see, it was a great shopping! Do you like do shopping?
I think it is great fun in America. I even didn't expect that it would cost for me so cheap. So I have bought a lot sweets: candies, crackers, choclates etc. and brought it here at my work and treated the kids.
They were so gald:) I like to see them smiling and laughing.
Maybe we can talk on the phone nearest days, I can give you my phone number. I think it would be a great to hear your voice and take another step in our relations. You can call me +12124611814 Ok?
Tommorow morning I will be busy at my work and about 11am I will be home doing my report. So the best time to reach me from 11 am till 4 pm. I have an appointment for a cosmetics about 5pm.
So it will be very comfortable for me to receive a call from you that time.
Right now I feel a little bit tired after all what I have done for today. What have you been doing today? As I would like to know anything about you. I'll say it again, I'm glad that I have you and we can have a dialogue. I'm not feel so alone when I write you, I'm glad to have every your letter and I'm always so excited waiting it. Do you feel the same? It is great that we met. I feel that I want to tell you so much about it, to say thank you, to send you a kiss. And I hope I will do it in real one day:). We just need time yeah? I hope you will find the time to call me, I am very excited to hear your voice soon. I want you to understand that it is very important for me to hear your voice. So I will impatiently waiting for your call. So going home now. Wish you good week.
Anyway write me as soon as you can and let me know what's going on with you.
Hi dear, Dan!!!
How are you? Hope you are ok and wish you great celebrate Christams with clean heart and good mood. I am leaving the US today. My flight is in three hours and I just arrived at work to have an opportunity to write you and to say good bye to everybody. Besides, it is more comfortable for me to reach the airport from here. It is so pitty that I can't celebrate Christmas here but it is ok, because I will be celebrating New Year Eve here and it is just great! So I hope you will not be manage to miss me:) There is an Internet and phones in Russia, so I think that it will not be a problem to keep a touch.
I wish to give you a call sometime. I think that I will miss my job and kids here in the Center. But I am glad that soon I will see my family for a while. I miss them much. My flight will take more then a day plust time difference, so I will write you immediatly when I will arrive home.
I want to tell you something, my days are brighten with our great conversation and I am sure that I have found a friend or more:) I want to continue it. I want let it grow. I appreciate to you for all your kind words for me, your support, your communication. I just want you to know it. You helped me a lot. I feel that you are a great man with big heart and I'm happy that I met you. Ok, honey not much left for me. Gotta go. See you later. It would be great to see your letter for me in Russia. I will be back to the US next week. Take care...
Merry Christams dear Dan!!!
Hello my dear Dan!!!
How are you there? At last I have an opportunity to write you. How did you celebrate Christmas? I hope you had a great time. My flight was alright, about 23 hours long. I am very tired with that. But I am ok I am so glad that I am at home and my trip was safe. Everybody at home was so glad to see me even for that short time that I am here.
I was happy to present a great hug for my parents.
By the way one funny thing happened to me during the flight:)
On the plane I was sitting next to young mother with the wonderful boy he was the same age as little Patrick. This boy was crying.
He was so scared of the flight and this woman couldn't calm him down.
And you know I just started to talk to this child, I was manage to abstract him from fear and tears. In a half of hour he got to sleep and his mother was so appreciate. Her name was Linda.
We got into conversation with her and I told her that kids is my job:)
I was really glad to help her and was in great mood after that.
So my experience working with kids was useful. Daddy said that he is very proud of me:) I presented few little souvenirs to my family and they were touched. And I also told them that I met you and we have a great communication and even planning to meet each other.
I hope you don't mind:). I have said that you are good man with big heart and very honest with me. They all said hello to you and wish that someday see you in Russia :) You know my mother was worried about me when I was in America and said that she will feel more safe for me if there will be a good man beside me. So you got acquainted with my parents in some way:) Now I'm at my friend Olga's place and she is so happy that I was able to come. So do I! I'm writing you from Olga's computer now. I'm glad that I have this opportunity, because I wanted to share my news with you. Today morning when I just arrived from Moscow, I visited my Department of Education to know about my trip back to US. They said that my visa will be prolonged and ready tomorrow and I booked an open date ticket. To tell the truth I had a little problem today. At home, my mother told that they got a notifying from bank where I took a credit. The reason is that about a year ago I took a little credit in the bank to help my parents with buying new house. I paid fees when I was in Russia and it is my last payment left to the bank, but I delayed the payment being in the US and now bank demanded to make this payment and pay all fees for delay. It is not large sum of money but they told me in the department that bank could resist about my depart to the US. It was really a surprise for me, pretty unpleasant because I planing to leave Russia as soon as possible for the New Year Eve. So today I had to find money for the credit, it was pretty hard because of holidays. I was very upset about this situation, I was so affraid that I can stay here in Russia. My parents don't have much money to help me. But it is our common problem. And my mother decided to put in pawn her jewelry to the pawnshop and we got the money. I added the rest and finally closed my credit. But now I'm left without cash, it is pity, I also wanted to give my parents some money but because of this credit I unfortunately can't do it. But I'm we are glad that I can go to US now.
After I finished with the bank, I went to the Department again to give my report. It is ok, but they told me about terrible requirement at the custom. I need to have $300-400 cash with me to show it in the airport :( otherwise I can not be allowed to enter US.
This option is writen in my contract. And they warned me in the department that because of holidays, requirements will be more strict and captious. On the custom they will check my visa and cash because it is not alowed for me to enter America without it. But the problem is that I spend all my cash for one day:). I paid for ticket, visa and this credit. I asked in the department about my salary that is still in the US. They told me that I can't get it so fast, because it will take a lot of time to receive my salary here in Russia.
I don't have this time now. Because I can be late for New Year Eve.
I do not want this and thats why I want to ask you to help me.
Could you just lend me $300-400 now, because I don't know how much they will ask me to show on the custom? Dear, I want to believe that you will help me and understand my situation. I want you to know that I don't insist because I don't know your situation with money right now.
But I'm sure that you can lend me that little sum just for 3 or 4 days.
I even can return more if you want when I will be in the US.
My situation is pretty hard and urgent, so I hope you can see it through my eyes. I know that I can trust you my trouble, otherwise I wouldn't ask you to help. And I know that you can trust me enough to help me, you know, I can't disappoint you. So here it is, the problem is not very huge but I need to solve it now. I will wait for your answer and if you decided to send money today, please do it through Western Union, using this info my name and address:
Address: Sovetskaya st., 125 - 38
Name: Ruzieva Alina
It will be very fast and easy for me to get the money. So I can fly out to the US in time. I already used Western Union, when sent money to the parents from US and it is very easy. When you send the money I will need to know MTCN number and your full name and address which you filled in the Western Unioin papers. Dear, I want you to know that I don't insist on your help, I just want to be in time, and I wanted to trust you my little problem. If you can't help me now please, inform me anyway. So I will wait for your letter, sorry for that urgent news, hope I don't bother you much on the Christmas holidays. XOXOXO.
I will try to call you, I want to hear your voice now.
Missing you much.