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Letter(s) from Julia Loskutova to David (USA)
Hello my new friend!
I am very glad that you have responded to my letter. Excuse that has not written to you at once, I needed some time for this.
Unfortunately I no have now a lot of free time. Therefore my letter will be small. I only wished to speak you Hi and to send you some my photos.
I have not a good scanner at job, therefore photos not so high quality. But nevertheless I hope they will like you!))))
Tomorrow I shall write to you more about myself and I shall send more photos. If I shall be interesting to you!
I shall wait your answer! It would be pleasant to receive your photos!
Your new Russian friend,
Hello friend!I am very happy to see your letter in my post box. I even couldn't think that I will get your reply so soon.My girlfriend in U.S.A. has registered me on a site. Let me tell a little about myself.My full name is Yuliya.I'm 27 years old. I live in the city of Nizhnevartovsk. Nizhnevartovsk is an old and ancient Russian city with a rich history. There are many historical places in my city. The population of my city is more a little that 300000 people.At once I wish to tell wash spelling in an English way a little badly with grammar... But I in perfection talk in English... I finished the Institute and I have an economical education. At the moment I work in one of the Tourist agencies of our city as an assistant to the bookkeeper. I like my job and I earn not a bad money for my work. At the next my letters I will write you more detail about my work. I live alone in the flat which I rent. I rent the flat because flats in our city is very expensive and I can't afford it to myself to buy a flat. Last year for a good job my agency paid for my vacations. I spend it in Italy. When I was in Italy I met many interesting people. My travel to Italy allowed me to see how people live, their relationships and their looks. I had known a lot of new and after I returned to Russia I compared the life in Russia and in Italy. I understood that I can find the better life that in Russia because the life in Russia is really difficult and every day we see a lot of problems and have to solve them. For example, one of the largest problem is a criminal and is it dangerous to live here, the other problem is that many people like to drink alcohol, especially men. I see at people and see that people are very cruel, the aim of life of many people is to get as much money as it possible and they don't think about the soul life, they also don't think about other people. That is why I couldn't meet a right person for me in Russia to get a really serious relationship and to create a family. In my own life I had some serious relationships with men but when the time went I understood that it is not the same I am looking for. I'm tired to be alone and decided to find a man of my dream through the Internet. I hope I'll do it. I'm seeking a man for a serious relationship that will understand me and that I will understand too. I will be very glad if this man will be you. I don't have my own computer that is why I write to you from the Internet Cafe. I will try to write to you as often as it is possible to make our relationship closer and closer. I understand that Internet correspondence is only beginning of our relationship. If we want to have a serious relationship between us, I think the best way is to meet each other, but it will be in the future. I also made some photos especially for the Internet acquaintance and I will send them to you in my letters. I hope you will like my photos. My main goal in life is to find loving and caring man to make family. And if you intention is serious I am very glad about this. I will be glad to know more about you: about your work, your friends, your family, what do you like to do in your spare time? Also you can tell me more. I also want to find my second half and I think I will find him. I'm waiting for your letter with impatience. Yuliya from Russia.
Hello, dear friend!!How are you? Thank you for your replay. It was very interesting for me to know more about you. My day begins at 7 a.m. I get up, get a bath, have breakfast and go to the work. My work is situated not far from my house, but I have to use a public transport as I have no my own car. My working day begins at 9 o'clock. My work consists in filling the documents. I look for the income of the agency, the charge of pension, the charge of the salary of the workers of our agency and many other functions. I get not a bad salary for my work in comparison with other people of our city. My salary consists of about 250 euro a month. My working day is over at 5 p.m. Sometimes I go to the Fitness-Club after my work to be in a good form. In my free time I like to go to the cinema, to go for a walk and to talk with my girlfriends. My favorite actor is Tom Cruse, and my favorite film is Vanilla sky". On weekends my girlfriends and I go to play tennis. I like this kind of sport very much. I always look for the news about tennis. I also like to visit disco clubs sometimes. I like to dance; it allows me to relax and to get a pleasure. I also like to cook. I have some of my favorite dishes. My friends say that I'm not a bad cooker. My favorite kitchen is Russian and Italian. My favorite food is roast kitchen with potato, I like to cook French potato and my friends like it very much. May be one day we will meet and I will be very glad to cook for you something delicious and tasty. Sometimes I have a lot of work, I have to fill a large number of documents and I'm tired very much. When I come home I like to read on such days. The books help me to forget about my problems and I follow the heroes of the books. Most of all I like to read Russian writers such us Turgenev, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Chechov, etc. I also like to listen to music. I like modern music, but sometimes I prefer to listen to classic and pop music. I'm very sorry but I don't have a telephone as I have no my own flat. That is why you can't call me. But I will be very glad if you give me your telephone number and I promise to call to you one day if our relationship will continue. I also want to tell you about my parents. It is very sad to tell about it for me because I have no father. He died because of the heart attack 2 years ago. He was a very good man, he gave me a good education and thought me a lot of things in the life. I'm less him very much. My mother's name is Ekaterina. She is 52 y. o. We are real friends with her and I say everything to her that is happening in my life. I try to visit her as often as it possible. She is very lonely as she has nobody besides me. My mother lives in a city that is situated not far from Nizhnevartovsk.It takes me 4 hours to go to her by bus. I will tell you more about my mom next time. My dear, I have some questions to you. I will be very glad if you answer them. I'd like to know more about your work, your working day and does your work consist of. What are your hobbies, what do you like and dislike.I'd like to see more photos of you, please, send me it if you can. I hope on serious relationship between us in future and I will try to do everything to create such a relationship. I stop here. I hope to hear form you soon.
Hello, my love David!It's very nice to get a message from you. I was thinking of you all this day and it was interesting for me if you will write a letter for me. And when I saw your letter I felt very happy. It's pleasant for me that you write to me; it means for me that you are interested in me. I am serious about our correspondence and hope that you are too. I think that our correspondence allows us to be closer to each other and hope that it will continue. I will try to tell all about me and my views on life in my letters to let you know as much about me as it possible. In this letter I'd like to tell what I'm looking for and what I appreciate in a man. I'd like you to know that the age is not important for me. Sometimes people are together when the difference in age is more than15 years and I believe that we will not have such a problem and everything will be fine. I think that the main things in relationship between man and woman are trust and respect. On these quality a serious relationship is built. I also know that without any feelings there is no any relationship. I'm adult and clever enough to think that a real sense can not be born out of letters and through the correspondence. That is why I think that if we want to have a serious relationship and we will want to have a real sense our correspondence will not enough. And we will have to think about our meeting because I think a man can know enough another man only when they communicate in real life. But now it is too early to talk about meeting. At first we have to know each other fully through our correspondence to escape any problems when we will meet in real life. I also want you to know that money is not an important thing for me. I'm not seeking for a rich man, I don't have an aim to have a lot of money because a lot of different problems and disagreement take place because of them. It is more important for me to find a real understanding and a soul that will be close to me because I want to have a happy family in future and to have children. I also want to tell that I will try to do everything for my lovely man to make him happy with me. I'd like you to know some of my treats of character. I'm very sensitive, communicate, kind, care and loving person. I have a sense of humor and like when people have it too. I'm emotional and I can't be silent when I see any injustice. I like to take my opinion and sometimes I argue with people. I didn't that it will be so difficult to write about myself and I will write more about it in my following letters. If you want to ask me some questions, please, feel free and ask me everything you want to know. I will answer with great pleasure. I also want to know want do you think about relationship through the Internet and do you believe that it is possible to find a second half through the Internet? If it is not problem for you I'd like to know about your relationship in your last experience. I hope my questions will not make a problem to you and you will answer them.
I'm waiting for your letter with impatience. Yuliya.
Hello love David!!! I am glad to get your letter and I think every of our letter make us to be closer and closer to each other. I feel that I have used to your letters. When I see your letter my mood becomes better, I reread every of your letters for several times. I believe now that it is possible to get a serious relationship through the Internet.. I wish to be together with you. I hope that our correspondence will lead us to a serious relationship.To tell the truth, I got a lot of letters from different men but after reading your letters I understand that it is you whom I'm looking for. Your letters are so sensitive and tender that I feel that you are very tender and carrying person. I like you and your letters and wait every of them with great impatience. I couldn't write to you early because I went to visit my mom. She lives not far from me, but it takes me 4 hours to get to her. Sometimes I go there by bus and sometimes- by train.I helped her to do the work about the house, we talked a lot and went for a walk for a little time. I told my mom about Internet corresponding with you. I told a little about you and she said that she will be very glad if we will be together. But my mom doesn't trust to such kind of relationship because she thinks that it is impossible to create a serious relationship or to fall in love through the Internet. She is sure that it is possible only in person contact. But I explained to her that if we have a serious relationship and feel a real sense it will be possible for us to meet in real life and to talk about everything we want to know. I like to visit my mom because she is lonely and she always becomes happy when I come on a visit to her. And now I'd like to tell you more about my parents. My mother's name is Ekaterina. She is 52y. o. She was born in the city of Cheboksary that is situated not far from Kazan. After finishing school she entered the Kazan University and they met there with my father. My father's name was Alexander. After finishing the University my parents got marriage. My father had a very good work; he worked as a main economist at one of the biggest enterprises of our city. He was well-educated and clever man. He liked his work very much and all workers of the enterprise respected him. My mother worked as a bookkeeper. But she had problems with hearing and it prevented to her work. After I was born her problems with hearing became stronger and she spent a lot of time at the hospital. And my father said that it would be better if she will sit at home and not to go to the work. My father loved my mother very much and tried to do everything for her to feel happy.I wished to tell to you about my favourite parents. In the following letter I wish to tell to you about the relations. As I want that you knew about it as we become closer each other!!! Excuse that has not answered all your questions...... I shall try to answer in the following.... Yours love Yuliya!!!
Hello love David!!!! This day have taken place successfully.I thought of you and wished to read through your correspondence more quickly. And you? I want that our relations became closer and had good continuation. The relationship of my parents gave me a good lesson in my life and I know what should I do to have a happy relationship. As I grew up at the family of economists my parents consisted on me to get an economic education too. At the moment I am very glad that I get this kind of education. The death of my father was a real strike for me and for my mother. After it my mother looked more older and her health become very poor. I promised her to come back to the city she was born and now she lives there. I think it is better for her as she has some friends there and they suspect her when she has any problems. I am happy for it as I can't always be with her. But I go to her as often as I can do it. My mom often says to me that it is time for me to find a second half and to create a family. I think that you can have idea why I haven't met a man of my dream yet. I know that I am beautiful woman, I was told about it a lot of times. But I want to explain it to you so that you could see everything as I see it myself. Living here, in Russia, and based on my own experience I understood that this country is not for me. I'll try to explain my opinion to you. Every time when I go out in the street, when I am at the public transport I see at people, at their faces, eyes, I try to realize what they are thinking about and I become sad because I see in their eyes and faces only sadness. And for the last time I seldom see happy people with a good mood. I also communicate with the women who are marriage. And they talk how it is difficult to live in marriage because of the great number of problems. After my visit to Italy I saw a life of people and it doesn't like a life in Russia. People are happy and it seemed to me that they don't have any problems. These and some of another reasons made me to look for a man through the Internet. A great role in my life played my last relationship with men. I had some relation with men but only 2 of them were serious. The first one was at the University and I don't want to tell about it. And I want you to know about the last my serious relation. I met him when I was nearly 23 y. o. We had a very beautiful love story at the beginning; it seemed to me that I loved him. He had a good job and he paid a lot of attention to it. I liked it first, his salary was high. We had a really serious relation; we even lived for some weeks together. But I began to notice that he is not so attentive to me as he is to his work. I understand that his work is more important for him that I. He used me as a thing to spend time, to have a rest after work. But all his thoughts were about work. He wanted to make a good career and he didn't want to have even children while he doesn't get any goals. I understood that he is not for me, our interests in life were different and we decided to leave. But I don't want to tell that all men in Russia are bad and that it is impossible to find a man in Russia, but I understood that I don't want to live in Russia and to create a family with Russian man. I talked to my mom about it and tried to explain her everything. She didn't understand me at the beginning, but now she is agree with me. I think I told enough in this letter and ask you to be serious about me words and thoughts.Waiting for your letter, Yuliya.
Hello, my love David!!! It's nice to get a message from you. Your letters always make me happy. I am very glad that I have met you. Every of our letters make us closer to each other and it is very important for me. In general, I understood that relation with you is very important for me and I think you are the man I dreamed about so long. Honey, it's a pity that we are so far from each other but I hope that one day we will be able to be together. I think that if we meet one day it will be one of the happiest days in my life. My dear, I thought a lot about the meeting with you and I'd like it to be as fast as it possible. I'd like to know what do you think about our meeting. My sweaty, I'm sorry that I can't write a long letter to you and may I haven't answer some of your questions, but I had a very hard working day and I'm very tired. Simply the thought about our meeting didn't leave me during all day and I wanted you to know about it. My honey, I'm constantly thinking of you and I hope that you are really serious about me and our relation. I stop here my letter. Thank you that you are. I'm waiting for your letter with impatience.
Tender kisses, yours Yuliya.
Hello my love man, my dearest David!
How are you doing, my David? I'm doing fine, my honey!
I have received your answer, my David, I’m so happy to receive your necessary love for me, your warm words, my dear David. My dearest David, I love you, my David, I love you so much that I can’t without you now, my love, you and your messages are so necessary for me, you are the inseparable part of my life, my love David. But still I wish so much that it be something more then just e-mails, I really want to meet you in person. But E-mails are the only thing that connects us for now. And day by day I realize how great it is that the Internet was once invented! :-)
My love David, I want to say that my all my best friends are very happy for us, my love David, they ask me all the time about you, about us and I am not afraid of telling them about our love, because I don't want to hide my love to you from anybody, my David, I have found sense of my life, my David, I love you and I miss you my darling!
My love David, I want to say to you that my colleagues at work are very happy for us too! All my colleagues say to me that they are very glad for us.
I found you, my David, with the help of Internet. And you are so far away from me. I live in Russia and you are in another country. I wish we were together right now. I want to see you, to hold you in my arms. I would like to talk to you looking into your eyes, my lovely David! Because I feel that I love you. I want to cry because of the fact that we are not together right now!!
You know I have nobody but you in my life. I am so happy that I have you. I believe that you are the person I have looked for a long time for. And I am ready to share my life and everything that I have with you my love!!
Dear it is very important for me. I want to be with you. I am sure of it my love, because I really love you. I told everybody that I would like to be with you. And they were very surprised because you are so far away from me, I told you about it. But I told them that I really can't live without you and that is why I came to conclusion that we should be together. I hope you agree with me. It would be wonderful believe me honey. I will give all my LOVE to you.
My dearest David, also I have good news for you! I want to tell you that one of the friends of mine can help me with finding the information about all necessary documents that I need to come to you. Izolda has an aunt in Moscow who can help me with the information about my coming to you, David! Also Izolda’s aunt Oksana will help to arrange all the documents for our meeting very fast. Oksana works at one of the individual travel firms in Moscow City. It's so good for us because she will be able to help me with all important details of the information about all necessary documents for my future coming to you, my love David. I will call her today in Moscow and ask her to help me with the coming to you, my lovely David! Just wanted to tell you also one more time that I am very happy to find you my love!!! I believe that we will be the happiest family. I love you so much, my darling, I'm sure of my love to you and I want to say that every day I want to be with you as soon as possible, my David, I love you so much, dear, I can't live without you, my David, you are so important for me, David, I love you, David!!!!
I am ready to apply all my forces to our meeting. I think we should meet each other, because we should know each other better. The meeting will help us to make serious steps in our life. Do you agree with me? I was very resolutely adjusted to a meeting with you. I will find out the information as soon as possible. I will inform you immediately as soon as I will have the necessary information. I’m so excited because of our meeting!! I understand that I won’t be able to hide tears when we meet at first. Do not only pay attention if I cry when we meet. OK? Do you promise me that? I want to have sensation of your man's hands with all my heart. So your caress is necessary for me!! I want to feel your care. I will try to do you the happiest man in the world! I want us go towards to our love. I want our meeting to be the first step in making our life together happy!! Let's do our life happy and long!
I want the union of our hearts to be strong! I want to take care of you; I want to love you with all my female heart!! I do not want that something will interfere with us in our love. But without it, it is impossible, therefore we should overcome all. Our love should overcome everything! Also, my David, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow I want to go to the church, I must thank God that we found each other, my love, I hank God so much, I know that God helped us to find you, my David, I know about it, David! My darling, on this I will end my E-mail to you, I will wait for your next E-mails with my great love!! You must know, David, how happy I am when I read your messages, my darling!
All my kisses and hugs to you!! Your Yuliya.
Hello my love!! LOVE of all my life!! Thank you again and again for your kind letters! My angel, my fairy - tale, my sweet dream! Oh, I full of feelings to you, David!!
My heart does not want to live apart from you any more! I have never thought I will manage to love again!! My love to you is deeper, bigger and more beautiful than one I had before!! But you are so far from me now and there is a great hindrance on the way of our love…I do not even know how to tell you about it. It is terrible, I just do not know what to do…I went to pieces…The point is that…do you remember, in my previous letters I told you I was about to collect all necessary information to be able to come to you? With the help of Izolda’s aunt Oksana, she lives in Moscow? So I do and…all this is just unbearable for me. There are no problems to collect necessary documents to come to you she said; she will help me with pleasure but all the documents and entry visa will cost 450 dollars she told me. I was shocked…I just could not find a word, I… You know it is an incredible sum for me. Even to my family…We live in Russia, in a small town. Moreover I work at the state library. And my salary is about 1150 rubles a month (it is about 38 dollars). It is not much, you know. It is just a bare profit!! So, of course I do not have such sum of money. I simply can not have it! So, when I heard that I have to pay this money only for paper work and visa I was… it is too hard to put it into words… I was… it was a great disaster for me. I asked my parents if they can help me with money. My mother broke down because of this news. She told that they do not have such money. I knew it of course, but I wanted to try. I decided to borrow money. I asked all my friends and colleagues too but I was not a success. They are poor common people and they do not have such money. My mother told me that I can take a loan from our bank. At first I was glad that finally I found a way out! So I called to the bank and was said to come to bank and to talk to the manager. I hoped that they will help me. But when I did, the manager of the bank told me that it is impossible. Oh, you just can not imagine how unhappy I was. The manager told me that I can not take a loan from the bank, because I want to go abroad. And they do not accommodate people with a loan in such cases…
Can you imagine it? Oh, David!! My dear David! It is incredible thing! It is a disaster! My heard is simply dying for being with you, my love, my dear friend, my David!! And what will I do without you? Tell me; tell me please, what I should do then!! How can I live without you, my David?! You are all that I have in my life, believe me, David!! My dear David, we were so close to each other and we are so happy together, darling, tell me, what I should do without you?!! And how will you live without me? Our love is so strong, my David. I can not imagine my life without you David! You gave me the gladness of life! You allowed me to feel that I am loved. And you allowed me to give my love to you!!
Who can change the situation now? Only God knows the answer. We live in different countries, you know. I am sure that you do not make both ends meet like my family do. But of course, I do not want to burden you with expenses, no, of course not! At the same time, I have no opportunity to come to you and to be with you, my David! My dear David!! Tell me, what should we do than? What should we do with our feelings?! I have never loved anyone like you. You are everything for me! I need you like breathe!! You made me so happy. I thought we would be the happiest pair in the world. I dreamed about it every moment, every second. I imagined our meeting, our future life and what then?!
I have no right to ask you to help me, to put it more precisely - to help us. I know that our love is mutual!! My dear David, I do not have this right!! But at the same time I have no money to come to you. I do not want us to lose our love, my dear David! I do not want to think that 450 dollars will be an insurmountable obstacle to us to be happy together!!
So what else can I add? We have a choice - to start a new happy life together or to lose each other forever….What do you prefer?! As for me I want to be with you for ever! God gave us such a splendid opportunity to find our happiness! To be together! To love and to be loved by each other! Can we allow this small problem to spoil our happy future life?! What is money? It is just a mean to achieve our aim, and nothing more. And our aim is to be together and be happy. That's it!
I do not have any right to say the next words, but it is really so, believe me - now everything depends on you, my David. My dear David! Please, do not leave me to the mercy of fate…I pray…
My eyes found the paper
white sheet, filled with signatures
scribbles of names and such
black ink covered the page
Front to back, top to bottom
names of those you love
people who touch your heart
writings you had left behind
Within the names you wrote
was a message written in bold
your heart left it for me, It reads
"I love you very much"
Such a chaotic female
for I did not notice it, until today
it may be just a few scratches
but to me, it was a priceless reminder
A message of what I have
deep love from a man
who wants nothing else
but to simply love me
Love You, miss You, wait for Your decision,
Very truly yours