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Letter(s) from Lusine Mazmanyan to Ton (Netherlands)
Hello my Ton! I so am glad, I only have passed the customs control. I so am glad, it is my last night in Armenia. Tomorrow we shall be together. I so am happy, that tomorrow I can see you on the present. So it would be desirable, that time went faster. I love you Ton! I shall fly tomorrow to you, I shall wait very much, that you will meet me. Leila.
Hello my gentle Ton! To me so it is restless on heart! I so am not happy! And when I think, that you think of me Ton, I am even more upset! I so am unhappy! Ton please do not abuse me, please to me not be unfair. Ton I shall explain all. I understand, that I have not written to you at once, I understand, that I am guilty in it. But Ton I think, that you will understand me, that at me it was not simple forces to tell to you all. So it is hard for me for you to write it. I feel guilty. You can not read it, you can take offence at me, you have on this right. But please my loved listen to me. You the most expensive, that at me are in heart. I love you! I can love you without reciprocity on love. Simply to not open these feelings, that at me in heart for you. I try to explain to you in this letter, not only, that happened, and that I now feel. It is difficult for me to write this letter, at me tears on eyes. Very much I hope, that you will try to understand me. I so worry! That your children and the friends, close your people will tell. Ton I very much love you! And you for me all in a life! I very much want to be with you together! I want to love your children! I want to care of your children. I want, that you were is happy. But at me, it turns out, only to give you of misfortune. I understand, that you are very malicious on me. Also that now you abuse me. I could not take off to you, therefore as at me have stolen money. At me have stolen 2000 euro, when I went to pass the customs control over the airport on Saturday. It was so a bit too. To me came, three healthy men, and have selected me a bag. I so am unfortunate! I needed to go together with my father, or I needed to take themselves friends that they were a number. Therefore, as I had big sum of money. Ton I think of you, and I think, that I the unluckiest woman in all light. Why to me so does not carry in a life. With me not that did not happen, with my health all is good. Yesterday with the father I went to police to speak about happened. And to me promised, that they will catch these gangsters. Ton I do not know, that you think of me! I the most unhappy woman. Only this feeling in me if I shall lose you, I shall not go through it. I love you all heart! All of you for me! That you have not decided Ton, I want, that you knew, that I shall always love you! You for me all during lives, and sense of my life without your love not that. Ton you know, that my father lives far from me, and it has arrived to Friday, that me to carry out on Saturday. At me father good the man. And it promised me, that it will give me 1000 euro that I could pass the customs control. But it is not enough of it, it will be still necessary 1000 euro. I cannot simply ask you money. You for me have made so much. And I yet do not know, how many I should work to give you of money, that you for me have spent. Today I was have calmed down a little, and I could write to you the letter. Ton I very much love you! And that you have not solved all, I shall always love you! Today I went to agency, and I told him that happened. To me promised, that they will make tickets without percent. It likely destiny that happened with me and with you. Ton I shall wait very much when you to me write. I shall always love you! Leila.
Hello my Ton! I so am glad, that you have written to me! When I went to see from you the letter, I very much experienced. Therefore, as I did not know, that you to me tell. And when I read this verse, that you have sent me, it calmed me. It is very pleasant! Ton I so am glad, that you at me are! I very much very much love you! I love you all heart! And you for me the most expensive. Today I spoke with agency, I went to agency. And they spoke me, that they can give me tickets tomorrow in the evening. I can take off to you for Wednesday. But it will be necessary for me of 1000 euro more, and it so excites me. I understand, that I cannot ask you about, that you to me distances this money. Therefore, as you already have made for me so much. Ton I so am grateful to you. Money, what you have spent for me, I shall try to give them to you, but it will be in due course, you understand it? That I could arrive to you to Wednesday, I tomorrow will need to have 1000 euro. I do not know, whether you can give me such money. So it is inconvenient for me to ask you money, but Ton, I shall give you all money, that you spent for me, but it will be only in due course. I love you Ton! I very much suffer. It would be a good variant if you have arrived to me, and have taken away me. But Ton, I so do not want, that you spent so much money, I and so to you has delivered so much efforts. I yet do not know, how I shall look you in the face, I feel such guilty, that I was not cautious. But Ton, you understand, that I should as to affect it. It is not yet known, that the Police will do, whether she will find them. It was so terribly, I felt like so poorly. There is one more reason why I would not want that you have arrived to me. They are my friends, Ton I did not speak you, but there are at me friends who against I was with you. I do not have not what men, I have only you. But as I can explain, it is the Armenian heat of feelings when I spoke, that I shall go to Netherlands to you. My girlfriends were glad, that I have found you, but I have friends to a male, but it only friends do not worry about it. Ton I do not know, how to me to be. I speak with you openly, to me not that from you to hide. I have only you in my heart, I hope, that you will understand me. When I spoke you about the friends, I did not speak you about those it was not pleasant to whom, that I have found to myself the man abroad. Ton please only understand me correctly, that I only love you, and that at me not who was not already almost one year. I for a long time was one, I wanted will find the man which at me in heart, and I have found you. Who is not necessary for me any more except for you if we shall not be together, I likely simply shall not survive one without love. Ton I shall put on very much, that you will understand me. Ton I shall wait for your letter tomorrow early in the morning. I think, that you will transfer me of money and on Wednesday we shall be together. I worry Ton. I love you Ton! Leila.
P.S Whether I do not know to receive to me to call, but if that I shall try today to you to call.
Ton I cannot give you a copy of the visa and tickets therefore as my documents lay in agency, they wait for me today, that I shall come behind tickets and documents. And the ambassador I will need to go on the customs control. But I cannot make it if I do not have not enough 1000 euro for the customs control. I thought, that today you will give me 1000 euro. But you not that have not told about it in the yesterday's letter. I so hope, that you now near to a computer. Leila.
Ton I promise you, that I shall give you of money, that I took from you. I shall work much. I shall give you of money, even if you or I shall decide, that we not when shall not be together. Though I do not present the life without you.
Ton at me all papers are made out so, that I should be in your country during two months. And that will not make smaller time to turn out. Ton I so hope, that that with me happened not as will not affect our feelings.
Ton remember, I spoke you, that at my place there is a copy from agency. I remember, you asked me to show you her but as at me all hands did not reach it, I why that all time forgot it. My copy from agency, is a copy of a part of the contract. Ton I love you! I cannot arrive to you without 1000 euro. This so is obvious. That to sense if I simply do not have money. Ton only do not abuse me, me and so it is bad. Leila.
Ton I think, that if today we shall not meet. We will need to say goodbye soon. It would be desirable me that I was in your memory always. I do not remember, I sent what photos to you, and what are not present. I shall simply send you all photos, that at me is on a computer. Leila.
I love you!
Ton I cannot take off to you, I do not have not enough money. And today on the customs control and over the airport, I am going to go to have sad feelings. To lead this day last time in ideas on you my loved Ton.
Hello my Ton! It is pleasant for me to find, that you have written to me! I so am upset! Today I have one more most bad day in my life. Well why to me so does not carry! Yesterday I have flooded neighbours with water. Yesterday I have left the open crane with water and when I waited while is filled bathing that, I was have fallen asleep. Also has woken up only because, that to me neighbours were strongly knocked. It was such scandal, neighbours descended simply from mind. And the ambassador my father has arrived from work, it as abused me. Now neighbours demand from my father that it has indemnified. It has given them 1000 euro, and they demanded 600 euro more. Ton but why to me so does not carry! As I would not like to speak you about it. But you my the closest the man to my heart, and I can tell only to you about the troubles. Ton I so am unfortunate! My father malicious on me. And it very much excites me. Father of me understands, but nevertheless, I have very much upset it. Tomorrow neighbours want, that we have given them 600 euro. Ton very much it is not convenient for me to ask you about it. But nevertheless, me any more at whom to ask about the help. Ton you could help me and my father with money? I test such shame when I ask you about the help. I do not know, that you will think of me if I shall ask you about the help. But nevertheless Ton, please, think of the beginning. Now I shall be about a computer and I shall wait, that you to me write, very much I hope, that you to me write. Ton I love you! Leila.
I was not married. It only could be. When I to you have told, that I have left for three weeks. I did not want to tell to you, about this pain. It always so difficultly to recollect. Secrets always remain secrets.And you Ton, I knew a little, and on this have told, that it was three weeks. All was where worse, and is more sick.
Since then I feel lonely, all over the world there are so much men. But I am lonely. At me not who is not present.And now I doubt to have with you I meet in general. Therefore, as you simply today have left me in a trouble. For me it is not necessary the man which can leave me in a trouble!