Letter(s) from Elena Glazirina to Raul (Mexico)

Letter 1

Hello my number one, my sweetheart and my soul Raul!
To begin with I want to say to your that I love you. And I will never fall out of love with you. You are all for me and you know it. Today when I got up I understood that I really saw you in my dream. And can you imagine Raul what were you doing there? You met me at the airport with a big bunch of flowers, my favorite flowers - Madonna lilies. I even felt how my legs were shaking at this moment when I saw you for the first time. My voice were trembling and I felt thirsty. And really when I woke up I wanted to have a glass of cool water. But I was very angry that it happened because I wanted to see this dream to the end and spend as much time with you there as it was possible. But when I understood that I wouldn’t see it for the second time I began to enjoy by the memory about this dream. You were perfect there and your eyes shone with joy. Later I understood that I really don’t want to lose you and will fight for you if it requires. But alone I won’t be able to do it. You should help me, I need your support; otherwise it will be difficult and more painful for me to do it alone without you. I say it to you because today I gathered all the money that I had and went to the travel agency to claim them that I want to use their service to do all necessary things to go abroad to you. They began to copy all my data but when they asked me about the money it turned out that I should pay for the whole travel at once indeed the tickets. But I said that I had only money to pay for the visa but if it was so strictly I could buy the ticket myself and now draw up only the visa here. But I was heard that it is forbidden and they can accept only the payment for everything at once because it is not profitable for them. But they convinced me that their prices are the same and I would not find any tourist agency where the prices are cheaper than here. And moreover every agency now follows such a system of payment. They do it because they should be sure that I will buy the ticket there by all means and they will have a good profit from it. It is our world which is built only on money. Nowadays it can create a real barrier in the way to achieve the aim. But I hope that it won’t stop us. I know that you also want to see me and if we want it together we should act like a team. I promise you to do everything possible. I have already made up my mind to do a big step in my life which can change it at all. Now is your turn to undertake something. I know that you won’t refuse to help me and that’s why I ask you for it now. No, it is not the help; it is only everything possible that you can do now. You can help me with the money to buy the ticket here. It costs only 1500$. I know that you won’t refuse because money it is not important for us, we do it to meet each other and get much pleasure together. And I think that money will not stay on our way. Raul you should make the right decision and you have it in your mind. You want to see me and nothing will stop us, you and me. Darling! I want to write you something warm and gentle that this letter has a little warmed you and your soul. I want you to become pleasant, well, joyfully from my words. Someone consider that daily vanity is a life, the reality but all the rest is inutile illusions, in a word - nonsense. But you do not think so Raul, don’t you? In fact the life is first of all the moments, instants when you experience sensations of pleasure, delight, excitement, happiness. For the sake of such instants also it is necessary to live. Yes, it is possible to consider it something unearthly. But what are in general all experiences, feelings which the person has? Moreover it is not a lie, not a ghost, not a Mirage which will thaw without a trace. In fact it is a reality - my words, the phrases, addressed to you, my darling. And the reality is consists of those sensations which they will cause in your soul. Certainly, it is simply mere verbiage which is simply said only to spend time, it is a usual chatter, idle talk. But I do not wish to say simply some phrases. I would like to raise your mind and cause warm emotions in you by the words, to calm you down if something disturbs, to raise your optimism because actually the life is fine. And it is really so. In the childhood we enjoyed the life and were not become sad. Why, becoming adults, we do not become happier? In fact the world around has not changed almost. Maybe reasons are in ourselves, in what we are and how we treat the life. Sometimes I want to live only feeling emotions, not counting something and completely trusting not to reason but the feelings. And who has told that it is necessary to live reasonably? It is necessary to live happily! But in fact the happiness without feelings does not happen. And the reason seldom gives us a condition of happiness. In the world there are so many reasons to consider ourselves unfortunate, and so few to be happy. Have not you noticed, honey? I am near you, my number one, having sat down near and silently watching you, I try to make out features of your face and I observe how you read this letter. I observe, how your face, its expression, a sight change in the process of your reading my letter. I want to guess if my words touch your heart and if - yes, what you feel, you experience now? Not me, but my words touch you gently. Feel their warmness. Let it not to leave you anymore, Darling. It is pleasant to realize that now we are the whole one, you and I. Reading these lines, you involuntarily think of me. And not only my words, but also my ideas which they bear, gently and tenderly embrace you. Do you feel good in their embraces, Raul? I ask, forget about the past, be not anxious about the future. Live now, live these instants. Also be happy, my Raul. And believe that everything will be ok.
Please, write me what you think of it, Raul. I need to know your opinion my love!
I kiss you and hope to see a letter from you very soon.
With warm kisses
Sincerely yours,
Valentina
mailto:ksyxalove@rambler.ru