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Letter(s) from Natalia Isaeva to Sam (USA)
Hi, Sam! It is me, Margarita. The first thing, I want to do, - to say ''thank you'' for your answer! I was sincerely glad to receive your answer, and I am very grateful to you that you have found time for writing to me. I do hope that your heart is open for new friends, because my heart is really open, and I'll be glad to talk to you. I am very glad that you have written to me. I know that right now I must write at least the most important things about myself. And I should admit that I feel uncertainty because I very much want to find the friend, but my desire is diluted with absence of any experience in dialogue via Internet. But I am sure that time will help me and you, if you feel the same. As you already know, my name is Margarita. And my nationality is Russian. To be honest, I was afraid that you will not write to me, being disappointed in my nationality and the residence. And if you think that cultural differences are the obstacle for friendship; if my nationality have saddened you; if the distance for you is the main thing in a friendship and relations, I'll try to understand you. But I sincerely think that for friendship there are no borders and distances. Besides in the near future I am going to travel to the USA, and who knows, maybe we would become the big friends or even more... That is why I want to communicate with you, and I sincerely hope that you too will be glad to have the female friend from Russia. Have you ever been in Russia, Sam? I live in the North-Caucasian area of Russia - in Republic Severnaya Osetia-Alania. I live in small settlement - Yelbayevo. Large cities which are located close to Yelbayevo are Mozdok, Nalchik, Beslan, Pyatigorsk, Vladikavkaz. Sam, I am not the wonderful American woman who lives nearby to you, but I as well have the soul and kind heart, like any woman I have the tears when someone gives me a pain; I as well have a smile on my face when I am glad. And I hope very much that your interest in woman does not submit to distances and borders. Sam, I am sure that presence of my picture in the letter made you look at my picture before you began to read my letter, am I wrong? (smile). Perhaps you are interested in the other type of women and perhaps my appearance does not satisfy your interest. But I hope that my appearance will be pleasant for you. My eyes are green. My height is 169 sm (I think it is 5,7 feet). My weight, if I'm not mistaken - 118 pounds. I am 30 years old. My birthday is November, 10 1976. I got the higher education and the degree of dental specialist. I work as the dentist in the small clinic. Sam, I feel that I should finish my letter because I even don't know if you are still interested in dialogue with me or not. But before I will finish, I want to tell you that I have written to you not for fun. And though I had strong desire to try to find the friend via the Internet, however I did not want to turn it into simply a game. I for the first time in my life try such a communication, and this decision is a brave decision for me. I have written to you and I am glad that you have answered, because if you have not answered, I don't know when again I would find enough boldness in myself,- to try to find the friend in such a way. I am a usual woman, I try to enjoy what I have. But in my 30 years old I know this life, I know enough to understand that happiness is not always defined by things which surround us and which we have. I like my life, I have various things, I have own apartment, I have a profession, I have interests and hobbies, I have heart and reason. But I will lie to myself if I will tell that I am happy, because actually I need another. Not the material world makes people happy, at least for me it is really so. I could not find mutual understanding that is so important for me. And I very much want to have the man, the partner and the friend of course. Friendship is above all because in my opinion the friendship is a base of any relations. And I have sincere aspiration to try to find out more about you. I hope you have interest in our dialogue just as I. We have the chance to learn each other, to try to find the friend in each other, and maybe more. Who knows. But if you think that I am not worthy of you, and you have no desire to talk to me anymore, please, at least, write me about it. Assuming that you will write me again, may I ask you some questions? (Smile). Simply I would be glad to find out where do you work, and do you like your work? Where is your home? What kind of music do you like, and, in general, what are your interests? It a banal questions certainly, but wouldn't you like to know about me the same things as well? (Smile). And by the way, I will be glad to have your pictures! Therefore do not hesitate to send me sometimes your pictures! Thank you! I hope you want to talk to me and I hope to get your answer. I hope vainly? (Smile).
With the best regards.
P.S. I have been told that our Internet is low-speed, so when you will send me pictures, please make your pictures not very much sizeable :)
Your letter means so much for me. Thank you. I so waited your letter and so wanted to find out what you will tell me. Sam, today I write to you with special worry but as well with pleasure and hope. I really hope that everything that I will tell you today will make you happy. Last time when I wrote you my honest letter I had the big sadness in my heart, and even though I tried to not show it, I think you have noticed it. Sam, I was sad because the boss informed me that approximately in three weeks the cabinet of medical analyses will be closed for full re-equipment and repair. And when he have told me it, I thought my heart will stop, because when it will take place, I will not be able to communicate with you for months! And it has brought infinite sadness into my heart. But after my boss informed me about close of cabinet of medical analyses, the accounting department informed me that approximately in three weeks I will get my vacation! When I thought that I can lose you for some months, inside my soul I at once have felt that I can't simply accept it. And I have felt that together with sadness in my heart has appeared an other feeling - feeling of confidence, desire to make new steps instead of simply waiting for something. I have understood that our relations are important for me much more than I thought. And it so wonderfully. I had no vacation for two years. And now I will have vacation. A thoughts that I will not be able to communicate with you, to receive your letters and to write mine,- all these thoughts has brought a pain to me, pain that I can't endure. I talked with Elena and she has asked me what I think to do. And when she has asked me it, I have understood that inside my soul I already know the answer to this question. And I have told that I do not want to spend such a long-awaited vacation in loneliness. I can't accept a thought that I will not talk to you Sam during of month or two. And I have told that I want to meet you Sam! I have told her that I want to spend my vacation with you Sam! I can come to you, and we can spend time together if you want. And first I was afraid that if I will tell you about it in the letter, you will write me that you do not want to see me or can not meet me. And it would hurt my heart. But Elena have told, that you Sam and I are such a good friends, our relations are built on sincerity, therefore Sam will be happy to spend time with me. And I really think that it would be delightfully. So, what you will say, Sam, if I will offer you a meeting? Would you be happy to see me and to spend with me several days? I cannot imagine at all how it would be wonderful. You would show me your life, we would learn each other in a real life. We would look into the eyes of each other, we could hold our hands, tell each other silly stories, laugh and tease each other, watch the stars in the night sky and have romantic evening, go to the movie or we could simply sit on a bench in the park, and who knows what else we could do together... I would be happy to do all this together with you, instead of again be lonely without you and our friendship. I simply want to meet you. I already knew and I have been told earlier, but I have found out again all I need to do to come to your country. I already have the passport. And I will avoid usual procedure of visa's approval. Being the doctor, I will ask the visa on behalf of our Ministry of Health, because if the applicant have good official support from official bodies, if the applicant have official recommendations and directions to various sorts of conference, seminars, - it will relieve of necessity to wait for some months the decision of the commission, and will remove all problems connected with necessity to prove that the purpose of travel is not emigration. Being the doctor I will have support and guarantees from Ministry of Health of Russian Federation, and it is certainly the best guarantor. Of course I must visit improbable quantity of the departments, to collect improbable quantity of documents, to find as many as possibly of other official legal persons, institutions and people for support; to get petitions. But if I will quickly collect all necessary documents, I will get the visa in one or two weeks! So I have filed an application for the visa, Sam, with happiness and with hope that you will be happy to spend some days with me! I do not ask you about anything. I will use my monetary savings and I will make everything by self. It is my vacation and I will not be a burden. Would you be happy to spend some days with me soon, Sam? Anyway, we must meet. It is possible to wait eternally. But I believe that I will get my vacation not accidentally; and I believe that the cabinet of medical analyses will be closed at the same time not accidentally as well. It is not coincidence! It is time to make a choice, to make the decision, to take new step. Maybe such opportunity will not be repeated again. I so long waited my vacation and I want my vacation to be especial. What can be better than a meeting of two friends? The first meeting. It is simply delightful and I thank destiny that I have got such an opportunity,- an opportunity to meet my dear friend, the opportunity to learn each other in real life, the opportunity to enjoy time which we can spend together. And I believe that it can become the beginning of something new in our lifes and in our relations. And I am really happy to get a vacation because it is time which I can spend in any way I want, and I want to spend this vacation with you Sam! So what will you tell?
Would you like to spend time with me? Would you be glad to meet me?
Would you be happy to have the first meeting at your airport?
I will wait for your answer with pleasure. Your sincere Margarita.
Hi, my Sam.
I even do not know what to tell first. I simply hope that you will be happy!
The most important, finest news - I did it! I got the visa! I am very happy!!!!
I as well have found out that I will get vacation March, 9, 2007.
I have been to the company that reserves airway tickets. I asked them how I can reach Miami (MIA) and how much it costs. They have offered to me the ticket that costs $1219.80 USD. I asked them to find cheapest ticket, because this price is expensive for me. They have answered that they have a cheaper ticket and the beginning of the flight March, 13, 2007. It costs $914 USD. It was the best variant for me. I asked them to reserve a ticket. But they refused, because they can't reserve the ticket without advance payment. I must pay full cost. I have asked if I can pay a part of money now, and the other part later. They have told that it is possible, but I will be limited by term. And if I will not pay the full cost of the ticket within of this term, I will lose already nested money. I have agreed because it is the only chance for me, because I must give to anti-emigration committee a data about my payment. By this moment I had only the concrete sum of money which I had after all my expenses. I paid $ 470 USD. But it was not enough for them. In a panic, all what Elena and I could do - we pawned our earrings and gold rings and I got $ 52 USD. That is all I could do. The number of the flight on which I will get the ticket is 47Delta The time of departure from Moscow is 12:55 pm. The time of arrival in Miami is 10:22 pm. I will change a plan in Atlanta (Hartsfield Intl.), number of the flight 1091 Delta. After this I will fly to Miami, to you. I know that probably I simply must tell that I can't come to you because I haven't the remaining sum. I know that I promised to do all by self, and I was sure that I can. I did not want to ask you. But after I did everything I did, I cannot simply tell that I will not come to you. I have passed through so many difficulties, and I have overcome the most difficult. But all the same I have disgusting feeling that I could not fulfill the promise. I am always ready to do all what is possible,- to fulfill my promises, but at the same time I understand that any person could get in such a situation. To get the visa I have spent much more money than I expected. But people were ready to help me only if I will pay them. I paid more than 400 dollars to get all documents, I paid in municipal committee, in the ministry. Even officers in army garrison have compelled me to pay for their help. I did not expect all this, but up to the last moment I was sure that I still can make everything. I expected that I can get a vacation payment. We get a vacation payment after ending of a vacation. I asked to give me this money now because I need this money urgently. But, at the last moment I have got the answer that I can get this money urgently only in case of serious illness or for example in case of death of the relative. I feel so guilty. I was sure that nothing can prevent our meeting. But I must pay remaining sum. It is $ 392 USD. And I must pay money before March 8, evening. Otherwise I will lose my nested money and our jewelry will be sold out simply in vain. I know that I should not ask you, and I am very ashamed to do it. And maybe I really simply had to tell you that I can't meet with you because I could not provide my travel completely. But I cannot simply refuse our meeting because then all my diligence, forces, nerves, means will be spent in vain. I understand that for you it is too big sum to lend me. You are not obliged to help me. And 400 dollars which I have spent to get the visa, and 522 $ that I have given for the ticket are huge money for me. But I want you to know that I have given everything not for the sake of myself, but for the sake of us, for the sake of you and me. And I was happy all this time. If you want to meet me, to help me to make our meeting, please, send money to the help before March 8, evening. I want you to be confident in my sincerity, that is why I send you the view of my visa. I want you to see the result of my efforts. I address to you only because I need it right now, because the anti-emigration committee waits for me with all documents and I am obliged to come to committee according to appointed term. I do not know if you want to help me or already not. But I have no other exit. I need you. If you can help me I will tell you what I have found out. Elena said that you can help me with the help of remittance system. So we have addressed to the nearest bank. We have been told that they use the system --Western Union--. They have told that it is very convenient office for me; and this system works always and reliably. If you can help, please, send your help to Elena Karnaoukhova. I cannot leave clinic, but Elena has a lot of free time and she can receive your help and bring it to me. That is why I ask to send your help to Elena Karnaoukhova.
I give you necessary elements for sending money with the help of Western Union:
Baksan, Russia 361500
for Elena Karnaoukhova.
In bank I have been told, that to get the money, Elena must tell to employee of bank your full name, your full address, exact sent sum and the confidential number - Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN). You will get this number in your bank if you will send your help. Only with presence of all this information she can get your help. I do not know what answer I will get from you. I very much am afraid that you will not help me. But I want to tell, that I really need you, and I simply can't endure the thought that I did almost everything, but I will not meet you. I understand that it is big money. I have given all my forces, but together we are stronger. I really ask you to help me. I will give you back all your money at the earliest opportunity.
I have written you honestly and sincerely. Are you with me?
Hi my Sam!
I have received your help! Many thanks for everything what you did for me. I very much grateful to you. Now in my heart all is quiet. I am very glad, that you have helped me. Now I will prepare for departure. I'm so happy that my dream comes true. You have trusted me and not in vain. You are a best. I till now cannot understand, how American ladies could miss such a treasure. When I will be with you, I will show to all American ladies how necessary to love and how Russian girl able to love. You have the kindest and attentive heart. Thanks for your help! I am so happy! I am happy every day, but now to my happiness the was added absolute confidence, that I will meet you! And it simply a fantastic. I-m in a fairy tale that already turns to a reality! First you brightened my life and made me feel loved, now you have helped me! And when we will meet you will understand that my gratitude for everything that you already did for me is much greater than I could express by the words! It is the huge sum and it is the huge help! It is much more than I asked. Your help is improbable. It more than enough. It's too big money. It will solve all my problems connected with livelihood in a way and with all my preparations for travel. I do not know how to thank you! I will bring to you all money that I will not use. And I will give back all your money that I will use when I will get my vacation money! I so am grateful to you for your belief. You made me so happy! Happy because I know now that I will see you! Today is a wonderful day because today in the morning I have again painted out the one cell in my big calendar on the wall! Now it is my favourite deal since morning! The first thing I do now when I wake up - I cross out a cell of the last day in the calendar, and I see that less and less days remains up to our meeting. It is such a delightful feeling. Today as always I wanted to jog, but I could not, Sam!!! I simply walked on the street with smile on my face. I did not want to jog. I simply walked, imagined you near to me, imagined that you hold my hand. I even have imagined that you are in a sweater that I knit for you! (Smile). I so want to close my eyes for some time; and then to open my eyes and to see you and your smile. I so want our dreams to come true as soon as possible. I so want to feel for the first time the warmth of your hand, taste of your lips. I so want, looking into your eyes, to tell you everything what I feel! And I want to tell it in both languages! (Smile) Today I was talking to Elena, and she began to tease me. She said: " If you, Margarita, were not the best friend of mine, I would write the letter to Sam and he would forget you, and he would speak only with me! " (Smile). I have answered that you, Sam will not ever exchange me for anybody! But she continued to tease me and we have started to argue! (we joked of course). But Elena continued to tell that she too has good hair, that her eyes are more beautiful than mine, that she is more seductive than I. We laughed, but soon my patience has ended, and I have hurled into Elena the rag by which we wipe a dust in a cabinet! Of course Elena has hurled this rag back. Then I have again hurled this rag into her but she has hidden under a table and began to laugh loudly like the small child. We have forgotten that we are in clinic, that I am dentist and Elena is a gynecologist's assistant, we have forgotten that we are 30-years old women, we have forgotten that our boss - the strict severe person, we have forgotten about everything and simply laughed, jumped and struggled like the schoolgirl! But you, Sam, cannot imagine at all what has happened at the next moment! When Elena stood near a door, I have hurled into her a rag, but at the same moment when Elena has evaded,- the door has opened and our boss has come into our cabinet!!!!!! And the rag which I has hurled has landed right onto his face!!!! Sam, it was unique!!! He was simply shocked. Some seconds he simply stood with a rag on the face and even did not remove it. He was completely stunned. He simply could not believe that the thirty-year woman - the doctor - has hurled a rag right into the face of the boss!!!! He was so ridiculous, that first, Elena and I simply stood with open mouthes, but after some seconds we have simply started to laugh like lunatics! (Smile). When we have ceased to laugh, the furious boss started to shout and offend us. He told some bad things, and at this moment something happened inside me! I have felt that I am not a weak lonely woman, like I was in the past! I have felt that I have you, Sam, and I am not afraid of anything in the life now. And I have told to him: " I'm sorry for the rag, but listen, if you once again will dare to shout at me, if you once again will dare to tell me a rough words, if you once again will offend any woman in our clinic, I will inform my boyfriend Sam about it, and Sam will transform you into a cutlet!!! " (Smile). Sam, I always was afraid of my boss and always was silent when he offended me. But today when I have told all this to him, he was simply lost for words. He simply did not expect it from me. He was so scared, that he even haven't answered me, and simply has gone. Sam, now all women in our clinic know that I have a boyfriend, and that my boyfriend has frightened our boss as nobody before! (Smile). Thank you Sam! Elena asks to allow her to drop you a line. I hope you will not be annoyed. She simply wants to tell some kind words, as she asserts! (Smile): Well well well! ok! Hi! it is Elena! I am not knows englesh good. So fogive me. I know you veri good becous Margarita is tolk abaut you 24 hourses in the evry day! I onli want tell you - the thank you becous Margarita is was never to smile in the work in the past time. But now she is smile and she is hapy! Please save Margarita froum tears and please do not do Margarita cry. She it is very good wouman, and you will to be hapy togezer with Margarita. You it is good man. I to wish to you and the Margarita be hapy togezer! Good by. Elena. Sam, I read all what she has written and I laugh. I wanted to correct her mistakes, but she has not allowed. I only hope you can understand everything that she wanted to tell. I understand everything, but I am not sure about you. You make us smile. Thank you. I will finish my letter, but I will think of you, and I hope you will come to me in my sleep-dream tonight? (Smile). I will wait for you! (Smile).
Hi My Sam!
I have only a few seconds.
Our train has stopped halfway to Moscow!
Now we have a small stop.
I am in the internet-cafe at station.
I just want to say that I AM THINKING OF YOU!!!! (smile)
I will write from Moscow when I will arrive there!
I am traveling with three good women; therefore my travel goes nicely.
Sam, I want to kiss you!!!!! (smile)
Soon we will be together and I feel it by each particle of my body!
I need to run...
Tomorrow I will arrive to Moscow! As soon as I will arrive, I will write to you. Check my mail!
Everything is OK!
With love and tenderness!
My love Sam! I write to you this letter from hospital. There was a misfortune. In the underground there was an accident. I went downwards on a big ladder. At this moment behind of me people began to shout. I have turned and have seen that a very big man tried to snatch out a bag from hands of a woman. He very strongly pushed a woman, he wrested a bag and run downwards on a ladder directly towards me. I stood like frozen and did not know what to do. As I stood on his road he very strongly struck me and have pushed me forward. I have fallen very strongly and began to fall downwards of stairs. I have flown by some meters downwards. It was so painfully. I could not stand up. People which saw it, have called ambulance. I have been taken away in hospital. I have a strong dislocation of a hand, a crack in an rib and damage of my spleen. It is very hurt. Each breath brings to me a pain. I am glad that that man did not withdrew my bag because all my documents were in my bag. In the morning to me came a policeman and took my evidence. I have addressed to him and have told that I should fly to America. I have shown him all my documents and have asked to help me. He has agreed. I have given him all my documents and he has gone to the airport officially to inform about my problem and officially to receive the sanction to renewal of my ticket on later time. At present the situation is that I should be in hospital for one and a half weeks, or for two weeks, because the spleen is very important organ of a human body and hospitalization is necessary. I cannot leave hospital because I have serious traumas. My stay in hospital will be paid by the Vladikavkaz Medical Insurance Company because each worker of our clinic has annual life insurance from accidents and death. Here, in hospital there are computers for general purpose, like a Internet - cafe, but I should pay money, and to get access to a computer I should wait in the big queue. Very many people. So I hope you will understand me if some day I cannot write to you. After I will be let out from hospital, I will receive the new ticket and I will arrive to you. Now I do not need anything. I only ask your support. Do not throw me now. I very much am afraid to stay alone. I will write to you whenever possible and I will inform on what happen. I cannot write much because I have a strong pain at each movement of a body and because my time is limited. Many people wait a computer. I will try to receive your letter, but for this purpose I should find the person who will teach me how to do it because here other computers and I don't know how to receive letters from you. I will write to you tomorrow as soon as I will get an opportunity. Forgive me. Please do not throw me because I am alone in Moscow and You are the only one person I have connection with.
I will write to you later and I will tell in more detail.
Now I must go because now I will have x-ray therapy again. Margarita.
My love Sam. Only a few words. I have a deep longitudinal crack in a rib at the left and breakup in a spleen. It means that I will be in hospital for long time. The doctor has told - 2 weeks maximum. I hope you will wait for me. I cannot be without you. I could not find the person who would teach me how to receive your mail. But tomorrow I necessarily will ask to help me to receive your mail. I cannot without it. I am absolutely alone. I all the time think of you and it helps me to forget about my pain. There is nothing more awfully than thought that I cannot receive your letter. I need your words and your support. I so wait tomorrow's day. Now my body swathed by some firm fabric. It is very difficult to breathe. Many people wait a computer. I hope that you are writing to me and thinking of me. Please do not throw me now.
Your Love - Margarita.