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Letter(s) from Natalia Filkina to John (Australia)
It is very pleasant for me to receive this letter of yours, I have never done anything like that - i mean trying to find a mate over the internet and this is quite exciting for me. At the same time, I am absolutely serious about it, because I think i have consciously come to an idea of having a family with kids, warm home atmosphere, and so on. Honestly, i am not in Croatia, i am in Russia, in Rostov city. I posted a profile there, but could not write members for free, i did not know why, so, i created another one in closest country Croatia and immediatelly wrote you a message.
I hope long distance don't bother you and i will get another letter from you.
I know, it may sound strange because for all i've read about Europe and US (western civilization in general), people tend to form families once they reach thirty or more. of course, there are alot of reasons for that and various factors, but Russia is a bit different from western world though not comletely eastren. We're somewhere between Europe and Asia and women become mature for family somewhere in their early thwenties. From this point of view, I a quite typical. When I was eighteen, i wanted to entertain myself and also i had to study alot:-) Definitely, no husband and kids were in the plan. But now I want home and a man with me, who will be a loving, decent and supporting husband. Why I'm looking for a man over the web - honestly, it was a friends' advise. I am not saying russian men are that bad, no, probably, there are some good ones but somehow i never met one good enough. There are more women than men here, first of all..) I have a friend who is married to an austrian and the one married to a man from Switzerland.
They both are quite happy and both say western men are more understanding and humane. Some other people I know also say girls who date or live with men from other countries (friends of friends ...) seem very satisfied; i never heard of bad examples. Guess, western guys value what they have much more than russians and can cooperate..Well, I decided to give it a try.. :-)
Here I live in a rented apartment alone (I started to rent it when i started to work); it's not that I had bad relations with my parents, but I was so excited that I started working and providing for myself, I guess that i needed this step. ) Then I got used to it and moving in with parents again would seem ridiculous now, 'cause the space is much less where they live and i think they deserve to be able to stay sometimes together in a 2 rooms' apartment where i grew up and were a pain for at least 15 years :-) I have no brothers or sisters, sometimes desperately wanted to have one, preferrably younger one, guess this is a maternal instinct..
My parents are quite a typical couple of Soviet Union period - father is an engineer and mother is a kids' doctor; both retired (they're over 50; women retire when they reach 55, and men - 60 or 65). Now I work as a shop assistant in a fancy boutique in the city centre. Can't say this is something I would like to do all my life and one day I would definitely like something more intellectual; but now this is okay because it allows live and pay the rent. It's not very good, of course, that celling clothes to a few rich families of the city pays more than doing things by your brain and more than that, you're too dependent of hteir moods and...different things happen but mostly this is a quiet job with not too many clients.
I sometimes can read a book, while I'm at work..)
Let me finish for now and in my next letter i will tell you more about myself and answer all your questions!
Very very best wishes,
Hello my dear John,
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad to see another mail from you with picture in my mailbox! I thought you got so tired of my previous letter that decided you would not write to me any more.
I think I am very romantic person and maybe sometimes careless) Some people i know are saying it's crazy and careless writing to a man from abroad who i haven't seen in real life and factually do no know. Maybe. But how do you get to know a person until you start communicating? I am telling you about myself and you are telling me about yourself.. this is how it goes i think..and one can meet one's love no matter which way you met - over the internet or real life.. Of course, in real life the chances are higher that a person you are communicating with tells you the truth. Maybe i am careless, but i somehow i believe you. People are different. Some get badly hurt one day and do not believe in other people and good things any more; another type of people are chronically optimistic and regardless of how many tomes they've hurt their feelings in life, trust life and human beings forever. Suppose, i am the second type. I had many chances to prove that for myself. Too romantic for modern life, friends say. I even believe in different signs, you know )). I do not have a hobby as an occupation which is an addiction of a certain kind, like collecting something or doing any specific kind of sport. When i have some spare time, i like going out and especially like to spend time in the nature. When we go out with friends and there's music in the place, i dance alot. And above all i adore reading. I can read everywhere - in transport and even walking the street. But the street which i know quite well, of course..) Actually, i believe life 's been good to me up to now but the only thing i haven't had yet..really..is love. Recently, more and more often i find myself thinking that in spite of some men around who maybe would not mind having me as a girlfriend, i am not in love with anybody. In fact,I haven't fallen in love since i was 19 years and now i want to truly fall in love and...yes, create a family. I have seen many people in my life and could never figure out exactly whether the person was good or bad. But this is probably right because noone is 100% good or bad; everybody consists of million features but when you love a person, you adore some features and do not notice other. I am sure that a type of man i want in life is first of all somebody i could trust in any situation and could rely on whatever happens. What's also important, i want a man who knows what he wants. I mean, everybody can have doubts and be depressed at times, but a general i like people who have certains rules and principles. In short, it is called to be a "decent" person. Trust, mutual support .. love, of course. Other things are less important.
I think i would be a good mother, i like kids, i like watch them play in the street and even hear them scream). I definitely like men older than me, because i can never speak normally to the guys of my age; i simply do not know what to talk to them about. By the way, i am very interested to know what you think a woman should be like to be a good friend/girlfriend for a man and how you see your future family if you want a family at all..
Looking forward to your next letter...
First of all let me tell you that I am glad every time i receive a letter from you and what's more important, i expect and value them alot. To tell you honestly, when i check my electronic mailbox now, i always think of a letter from you and when it comes I'm happy. I mean, your letters are not just "messages" for me, i take them seriously, as well as our relations. I know this is probably not very wise calling our correspondence already "relations", but for me it somehow looks like that. I still hear many people say that talking to a man who doesn't live in your city, not speaking of country, has no future. But i believe there are ways and chances, and i even thought - theoretically - if we could meet one day. If we decide we have something in common. Do you think we have ?
At least, it seems to me you are a decent person and will not do any harm to me. I also think you are kind and caring. I am so tired of anger here which surrounds everything in every day life. People say they are angry and egoistic because life in this country is bad. Maybe. But being like that, they are making life much worse. Nobody really cares for noone; even realtives and friends are supporting and interested in you only up to a certain point. And you can never be sure how truly somebody is interested in you and how sincere he or she is. I don't think i can live all my life with that. Like i said before, i would like to be with a person, who i could trust 100%. Maybe i just was not lucky enough to find that type of person here, but this doesn't mean that i don't deserve it at all. The only thing that seems to crawl into my head is that letters can not substitute communicating in real life... Darling, i forgot to tell you what i like to eat, read and listen. I like to eat fruits, ice-cream, pizza, vegetables, sometimes meat but prefer on winter time. Russian dishes very tasty and maybe someday i will cook for you something. I don't drink alcohol at all and of course don't take a drugs. From drinks i prefer green tea, milk and juce, especially orange and pine apple. What about you?
My favourite bands: West Life, Back Street Boys, Bon Jovi, i love Madonna, Nataly Imbruglia and some russian bands, like Korni, B2, Tatu etc, Dima Bilan who took 2rd place on Eurovision 2006.
Like to read fashion magazines and russian classic. As for the movies, i prefer American movies, i don't know why but i have seen almost all movies on DVD during last 2 years.
3 times a week i visit gym and swim pool and think it's important for everydody. I like to go shopping, like all ladies and always want to look nice. Weather here getting hot and i always like to spend time on Don river with my close friends, adore BBQ and outdoor activities. Sea not very far from here and i spend time there every time on summer, but always wanted to fly somewhere, maybe on islands, but it's only dreams for now.
Ok, thats enough for today, i need to go now.
I kiss you and can't wait to get another letter from you.
My dear John,
Have i already told you that the first thought in my head after i wake up now is "do i have a letter today?" And if i have one, it makes my day! ))) Another thought also sits in my mind - suppose, i started thinking of our possible meeting in real life. Again, tell me if I'm too early with that, but i believe if i don't say it now, i am going to feel sorry thereafter.
Of cousre, i do not have a fixed plan for the moment and i feel kind of embarrased suggesting it to you, but i don't want to think "how it could be if i was brave enough etc." I would really love to meet you in real life, because i surely like you more than just a "correspondence friend" and i am feeling a kind of attraction to you which is not - it seems to me - an attraction of only good person saying nice things; i believe in addition to that i hace an attraction of another kind. But if we do not meet i can never say what it is in fact...It's summer time and a season for vacations; people usually try to take a vacation in summer because of the weather. We are in the southern part of Russia and summers can be really wonderful here (not like in Siberia, they sometimes have only one warm and sunny month of all summer and 2 windy rainy ones). Since most people spend their vacations here, they want to enjoy the weather and take summer vacations. Where i work, we always discuss it in January and make out a document where it is said when you can take your time off work.
We normally have 4 weeks of vacations in a year and they can be split two ways - either you take 2 weeks twice a year or you vacate for a month, which is around 4 weeks, but only one time in a year. On the one hand, when you have rest for 2 weeks, and then you know you have 2 more left some time in a few months, it is pleasant to know,like you have one more chance for a good or different vacation. On the other hand, 2 weeks sometimes are simply not enough. And one month of complete rest has more effect than 2 weeks; though it is the only chance in a year and you have to spend it good). Our bosses are kind and flexible enough to be able to discuss different variants, which means i can - suppose - take a vacation - and use that time for our meeting. At least we would be able to see each other as real people and not email images trying to look better than they are. At least we could have some experience talking, looking at each other , discussing things, behaving in an every day situations..less chance to pretend, more chance to be.. Do you think we can give it a try? I can fly to you without problems. I speak english as well as i write without help or translation. I can't wait to get your answer. I kiss you and thinking of you all the time.
p.s. thank you for the phone number, i'll try to call you very soon also thanks for the pictures, you look very good, send me more.