Letter(s) from Diana Velikohatskaya to Billy (USA)

Letter 1

Hello, my most precious Billy! I was very happy to receive your new letter. I was really pleased to read your phrases. It's always real pleasure for me to read your words about relations, and I'm always absolutely agree with you. It seems you read my minds and then put them into words. I feel you so close to my soul! Darling, for me you are the only thing that busy my mind every minute I think about you, maybe I am daring for speak about love with you quickly, but those are my feelings, I know that this is paper-letters-, but maybe is more important the letters written, the words are for always when this words are in paper. People think that Internet is only virtual, but is not right, because the words written are more important that the only voice, but always is need to give the first step, and this step is the more dare, but is absolutely need to give the step for to be together always. My dear, we must to begin new live, but we must to give the first step, and I am afraid that this step could be difficult, but we must win all difficulties and to do a planning soon. Every day is a day loose, because the happiness is waiting for us, for to begin to live. Is need to be dare for finish the ancient live, but always in the live is need little risk, the same live is a risk, and we must not loose to live the life. I need your letter every day more and more. And I thought that that's enough for a letters, I really want to meet you in real, I really want to see you, to kiss you, to hold your hand, to feel your touches in real. You know, my honey, I was thinking about you for all day. I was dreaming about how will I meet you, how will I kiss you first time, how will I hug you and will never let you go... And then we'll go for a walk, holding each other's hand tenderly... Just hand to hand, eyes to eyes... My dearest, I need you so much!!!!!!!!!! I really want to be with you!!!!!!!!!!
And I can tell you that i was very sad to read about your neck, I'm really very sorry for it!! I wish if I could be with you, to give you a massage or help you another way.... So I decided to make first step, and I did. And I went to the travel agency to know what do I need for coming to you, and I was told that first of all I'll need to make international passport and it will cost 405$ to make it two weeks, and then I'll need to make a visa and it will cost 122$ to come to you. So in total I'll need 527$. I want to be with you as soon as it is possible, but without your help I will never manage to do it. Please, my darling, don't think that I want money from you, I don't, I'm just looking forward our meeting, because I'm tired of being lonely. Please, answer me soon, I'll be waiting very much!!
Yours, Di.

Letter 2

Hello, my dearest Billy!!!
How are my darling?? Is everything OK with you? I'm worried so much about you!! I would like to write this letter in your skin, to amuse me as if I was immortal in your pore's ways for to make an offering at the night as heart in every kiss that treads your pores...I wanted to write of passions up or under your hairs, to put letters between the fingers that were coming without protest to speak you about matters of love, about friendship, about companions, about accomplices supported in languages that were never pulling down the life's density. I never wanted to violate your spaces, and that you were making equal; to be the clear and flat (level) language that brings the human beings near. I wanted every night to say good-bye to you in letters, to persist every morning for late afternoon loving you. To be incestuous and to be an angel; to be a gypsy and to be the thread that smiles at the universe of your dreams. I wanted to be a singing in the open air in sheets of new paper, silence on having spoken about loneliness, thousand words to become exhausted in your language indeed. I wanted to use magic ink that was appearing only when you were reading this letter that still I don't write and that she was saying to you that I love everything what you love. I want to confess you something very important for me .. before and always that I have said to you that I love you very much, I have said it to you because I feel really in my deep down ... but these two days (almost three) that we are isolated and distant, not only in kilometers but silently because of my travel, they have demonstrated me that you are really in my heart...I feel me very sadly, depressed and subdued; in my work I'm not concentrated, only I'm thinking about you during the whole day, it's difficult to sleep to me in the night and I feel that is lacking me the most important for to live, for to breathe, for to have energy... A tender idea, a total delivery ... a dream, one «it likes to me but I cannot ".What tenderly it turns out the prohibited and that satisfaction of something that is kept privately for the distance. Something that only is shared with yourself. And if it's with someone, only with another person. Nobody knows, must not even know. It's like a ritual, from where are emanating and deriving shouts of suffocation, of desire, tenderly and hidden ... and they are feeling inside, in the entrails but the complicity doesn't allow that it should come up to the surface. It's thought.... "I cannot"... I was missing you very much...
And about my coming to you. I was advised to use that travel agency by my good friend, and you can be absolutely sure that they are absolutely honest! And please, don't worry, it will be very easy for me to come to you, because I'm applying for a tourist visa and I'll come to you with a tourist group. And I also want to tell you that I went to the bank to know what do I need to receive your money, and I asked about bank account, and I was told that to open a bank account will cost me 300$, but there also is another way to transfer money, it's Western Union and Money Gram system. Do you know them?
Write me soon. Yours, Di.

Letter 3

Hello, my dearest Billy!
I was very happy to see your new message in my mailbox! Nothing clouds our minds; nothing worries us, only we leave us to go for what we love, for the great thing that we feel one for other one. How many times I feel you inside me, that up to bristling my skin I feel, how many times like this night to your side I sleep, feeling your breathing given to my neck. The Sea knows about our love, it looks us to feel again and again.... This reflected moon accomplice of our imaginary kisses, of our bodies rolling about the shore of the water... They see us loving us again and again, and when the light of the night is going out, it leaves my dream of living, and a tear about my cheeks is rolling. Because I love you so much than I feel you with me, because I feel me your and nevertheless I don't have you to my side. I continue looking at this horizon of moon illuminated, soon it will be dawning and it makes me raise the sight to the sky, to the most shining star and I ask her: «please ... you, that you are seeing him .. Take care about him ... because really I love him. Soon I will go to bed and I will's be in this balcony, and I will's have the sea so nearby, soon I will fall asleep without knowing what it will be about our lives and, nevertheless, I continue asking to this star, that she should take care from you, that she watches over me your way. Something that began to be born so pretty, so beautiful... that never loses it. I prefer having you like that.... In dreams ... that never to have you.
And I want to tell you that I was really happy to read that you really want to help me, that you really want to be with me, and that you are really serious about me and about our relations. And I need to tell you that I'll need 527$ to make passport and visa to come to you. And if you'll need my full name and address to transfer me money, so here are they:

Velikohatskaya Diana
Ukraine, Donetsk, 91031, Metallurgov street, 95/76.

So I'll be waiting for your next letter with the great impatience!!!!
Yours, Di.