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Letter(s) from Natalia Bezdenezhnykh to Gavin (Australia)
I am very glad, that you have answered my small letter. I ask to read very attentively my letter, it is important for me to know your opinion About that that I write. Because under your answers I shall look has whether sense To continue to us dialogue is farther or not. Simply I do not love when me Ignore. Simply it happens so, i tell to the person about myself, it is possible To tell i open the soul, but me simply ignore. Send simply Callous letters form and even sometimes overlook to change a name in the letter. It is very insulting and I was hurt also it I do not want. Only I ask be not frightened, I not malicious. Do not do hasty conclusions, read my letter up to the end And already then draw conclusions. I actually good and tender, Simply the life forces to be cautious and rough so it is a lot of deceit and evil. You really very much have liked me I see also I to you you are interesting time To me has written. Who knows to what our correspondence will result, but I hope, That we with you at least shall be friends. Before to begin dialogue, I want to tell at once, that money for a life I earn dancing a striptease. And I not how many do not think it shameful. If it contradicts yours morally to ethical principles and you think Below the advantage dialogue with me you can save time And further to not read my letter. I love people who is not afraid, that about him Will badly think also who is not afraid of open expression of the desires. I am sorry, if my English is not so good. I more precisely speaking At all I do not know the English language, only that I have received that level at school. I now use the computer program of the translator to write This letter. I hope to you all clearly, what I speak? If not everything, you of me Ask. I all over again type in Russian and then simply I translate through the program. But I 3 weeks go on special rates of English and as to me have told I of month through 3 already enough not bad can write and speak in English. The teacher has told to me, that in the best way to learn language,this dialogue with the person For whom English is the close language. So I hope, what you will help me with studying? I shall be very grateful, I hope you to me then will not expose the account for your help? :):):):):) I you will be sure the good teacher, I promise to be the good girl the schoolgirl. I very much like to have fun, I love jokes, draws and I at me very cheerful Character. With me it does not happen boringly. I very much love people who to me is close. I very much hope, that we with you become very close, because you to me Has very much liked. It is rare with me it happens, that at once somebody would like me. I am very legible in people. But in you of me at once, something has involved. I do not know that. Simply you have liked me at a subconscious level. You know as it happens, one person It is pleasant, another is unpleasant. All at a subconscious level. I very well understand in people. I do not want to brag of it, but it so. Though to me it is not a lot of years, but I had difficult life and I had to mature early. Simply should from whom wait for protection and fell only on itself. But it has learned me to be pleased to each instant of a life and to not despond and to not complain On destiny. In fact we creators of the destiny. You agree with me? I already communicated on the Internet and I already have experience and want to tell at once, That if my intimate photos are necessary for you only and I at all do not interest you as the person. It is not necessary for me to write that more. Many tried to receive a deceit my photos. Spoke, that love me, did any compliments, promised many money, But if to not like me the person I shall not do such photos. And as soon as they understood it they at once disappeared. It was hurt me and it is insulting. I not against such photos, I even very much would want to do them. To me to like, when Me admire, it raises me. But I would not want that forced me. When I shall want I shall make such photos and I shall send them to you if you will want it. I already with this letter wanted to send my intimate photos, but I think I know you not too good yet and while I am not sure in you. So patience a little and do not hurry event ??? I promise you my intimate photos and if you certainly want? I want to tell a little about myself, but in this letter I shall not tell too much. You can in me disappointment after that letters and I shall vainly try. But I hope I still to you I shall be interesting to you and you will want more to find out about me? I the orphan.I no have what relatives. I from infancy grew in a shelter. It were very difficult years, very much it was not easy for me. But it was mostly my life. I now with horror recollect my life in a shelter. Poverty, famine, constant insults. It is hurt to me to recollect these years and it is insulting. In fact I have one relative, she is my grandmother. But when my parents were lost, she has not wanted me to take to herself. She has given me to a shelter. She has told, it not my child, I am not obliged him to bring up, I want to live for myself, Superfluous problems are not necessary for me. I cannot understand why she so have made. I am absolutely healthy, I do not have any problems with health. She I think simply the egoist. I not when so have not made. But let to her the god will be the judge. I simply hate her. Though so it is impossible to speak. It is a sin. But I all the same should do that with myself. It was very hard for me and if she has not thrown me it all would not be. Two weeks ago she has died. At me inconsistent feelings. Her death certainly it is very tragic. And I probably should test to mountain. But it is not present. I do not speak, that her death of me pleases. It is necessary to be for it simply cruelty. But after she with me has acted, she for me Absolutely another's person. Shortly before her death to me there came her girlfriend. She to me has told,that to my grandmother it is very bad and that she dies. She has told, that she all this time very much suffered and it was very a shame to her, For that as she with me has acted.She would want that I have visited her. She felt the death and wanted, that I would come to her and have forgiven her. The egoist. I think she was afraid of terrible court at the god and wanted to implore at me pardons, what To appear at the god innocent and clean. She has wanted to see me only before death. She not to time has not visited me in a shelter, at all to time has not taken an interest in my life, And only before death has decided to clear the soul. I did not want to go to her, But all the same I to her went. I did not begin to talk to her. I simply to her have told, That I forgive her and still I to her have told, that the God all the same sees all and only to him to decide. I nothing more did not speak, I simply left. I do not know, whether correctly I have acted. But I do not want to speak more about it, all this is very hurt for me and unpleasant. I now want to tell where and as I live. I live in city Yoshkar-Ola. It is capital of republic Mari-El. My city to be approximately in 800 kilometers from Moscow. I do not love my city. City big, but not so inhabitants. All the same it is cold. The city to be in northeast from Moscow. When I have finished a shelter the state have given me an apartment. Very small, but nevertheless it Only my and I is very glad to this. I have made all apartment to the taste and desires. It has turned out very cosy the apartment and it very much to like all. I work in a night club as the dancer and show a striptease. But I do not want that You thought, that I what be the prostitute. I not such. I am not engaged in sex for money. Also I despise such girls. I not when have not agreed to it. Dances and striptease - it absolutely another. I no how many am not ashamed, that I do it. I doubted to write to you about it in the first letter or in general about it to not speak. But I for honesty in relations and always speak the truth and I hate liars. It is not a shame to me with my work. I like to dance and I love good music. And at me a beautiful body. Would be a crime to hide it under clothes. I am happy that someone looked at me and was pleased and had trousers tent:):):):):) It very much flattered my vanity, to feel like necessary and desired. I hope I do not shock you? I not have complexes and I think it well. Complexes do a life boring. Only do not think, that I dissolute. I very vulnerable and gentle and I very true. I the one-woman man and if whom I love for me not whom Does not exist more on light. I simply very much love a life and I am glad to each moment. But I try to live adequately, that would not be a shame. In fact the god sees all. Now I temporarily do not dance in club and I do not show a striptease. I miss on my work, but earnings is not so great, it became simple to me to not suffice money And one more important point simply to me has bothered, that me Frequently considered only as a body and a little who interested my soul. Very few people understands me. I want to find the person close to me on spirit. The adherent, the friend and hope love. I only am not sure, That it is possible to grow fond on the Internet. Probably personal meeting and long dialogue is necessary. I want children, family and at last to find a place where I can feel, that me love, Value and understand. I want to find a support in a life, it always so did not suffice me. At present I work as the seller in supermarket, I do not love this work, But it is necessary as that to earn money and to have to work as the seller. I do not love my city, I do not love Russia and at all I do not want to live here. Here it was too hurt me. The native land has not brought to me not that good. Therefore I am interested in other cultures and the countries. And I hope when be To leave from here for ever. Russia to not care of citizens of the country. I do not want here to live. I feel, that I was born not in that place. To me here it is uncomfortable. It definitely not that place where I would like to live. To me is with what to compare.I the third year go in the summer successively To have a rest abroad on rest. I was in Egypt, in Greece and in Finland. It was simply wonderful. It were the best moments of my life.This year probably to fail:(:(:( I think you ask myself, what for I have written to you??? I to like new meet, give dialogue and during dialogue we shall decide that we want. It is more than dialogue, to exchange a photo, to learn each other. It is very interesting to me to learn you I hope also to you too better. If our relations will well development, I shall be glad if you will come to me on a visit, If you will certainly want come to me a visit me. You admit such variant??? Perhaps we can dialogue with the help web cam. You want see me on web cam? I have web cam, recently have bought, I only did not use it earlier. I think we can make it with help Yahoo Messenger. But I do not know speed of the Internet will be enough, I hope will enough, I learn about it. Hey Gavin wake up:)!!!!! Figured you fell a sleep reading this letter:) I think the letter it has turned out too big and you are tired it to read. I shall finish the letter. I hope is still interesting to you Also I hope to see your letter as soon as possible. It would be very interesting to me to hear more to hear about you!!!!! And at me to you the big request to answer all my questions and In general to know, that you think of all that I have written. It is very important for me. Do not forget me, write as soon as possible.
The best regards to you!!!!!
Your new familiar Natalya
Hi my friend Gavin!
I can name you my friend, true friend?????
I am pleased to receive the letter from you, And I am glad that you want to continue our dialogue.
Thanks you for a photo. You such beautiful the man and very much are pleasant to me your photo! The truth!
You to me are very pleasant and like. You very sexual man.
I in the last letter have forgotten to apologize, that I so long did not answer.
You could think, that you have ceased to me to be interesting, but it not so.
Simply my financial situation not was very good and I simply Had no an opportunity to write to you and the more so to send my photo.
I certainly could to you simply write the letter, but could not
To send my photo. But I promised you to send a photo and me it was not convenient
To send to you the empty letter without a photo. I think to you not clearly, what I have in a kind???
Simply it depends on payment of the Internet, I shall explain to you it later in the letter
And you then all becomes clear. Now simply I want to ask you pardon, that long did not answer.
I have written to you at once as the opportunity has appeared. You do not take offence at me Gavin???
I send you the new photos I hope to you my photos have liked?
I hope they to you to like and me it is important to know what it makes impression.
Also I want to see more your photos, and I hope you will make it.
Thanks you for your kind words and support.
You very sensitive and attentive. You wonderful.
I spoke that well I understand in people.
I very much want dialogue with you on web cam. Letters it is certainly very good.
But I think it would be very wonderful to see each other and dialogue,
How you think????? You would like to see me on web cam?????????????
I promised you in the last letter I can find out to use web cam.
At me two news one very good and another not so good.
With what you would want to begin???? I think with good. And it. We can
Dialogue with the help web cam:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
I am very glad to this and I hope also you now when I informed it has jumped up
Up to a ceiling with happiness, I am right??? I hope you is glad to this news.
You can not want in general me to see and we should be limited only
Letters, you only tell also I shall not insist, but I want to hope,
As you all this want. This desire should be mutual. I hope indeed.
At me now rather good Internet, the separate line, name ADSL.
To me have told that speed of my Internet quite should suffice for work
Web cam. But have told that probably, that speed will not suffice for a sound.
Me have assured, that the image will be good, but probably it is necessary to disconnect a sound.
As there will be no speed. But I think it not so terribly.
But I think we should try with you and all at once will be clear. Can
Speeds of the Internet will suffice both on the image and on a sound. I very much want to try it.
The second news not so good. Now I to pay everyone Mb the traffic of the Internet.
Such tariff. And if to use web cam with such tariff, it will be very expensive.
I cannot use for a long time web cam:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
But I all the same want dialogue with the help web cam. Though there is a variant, to use
Other tariff. This tariff without limit, I can use the Internet
Without restrictions, and the price of the Internet will be fixed. But every month for this
The tariff it is necessary to pay the certain sum. Basically it is very good.
Once a month has paid money and you use the Internet without restrictions.
We could communicate much more more frequently. It would be very good, your opinion???
By the way, with this tariff speed of the Internet is much more and problems with a sound will not be.
But at present it is too big money for me. I cannot allow myself of it.
To tell the truth it is not so big money, it costs 2500 roubles. I precisely do not know how many
It in dollars, but approximately 95 dollars US. But with my present work I cannot to myself
It to allow. Now I receive approximately 6500 roubles for my work of the seller a month.
This money me suffices, on a meal clothes and in general on residing. But on other charges
To me will not suffice, to me it will be simple there is nothing to live.
I do not complain, it not bad money.But all this is equal a little.
When I worked dansing a striptease I earned more than 1000 dollars
In a month and this money was much. But I now do not work, I spoke you.
By the way, I was name on a scene the WILD ORCHID. To you to it like?????
I to you in the last letter have not told, but the main reason, that I more there do not work,
This that that us began to compel to be engaged in prostitution, I have not agreed to it,
And me have told, that any more do not want to work with me. And I left. To us openly did not speak,
That we should be engaged in sex for money. To us have simply explained, that we now
Should, at will the VIP of clients show a striptease at their place alone.
I think clearly, that it is meant also by me have refused, it is unacceptable for me.
But all the same I miss on a striptease, I would want that me admiration, it is simple to me
It is necessary. It gives to me of forces, pleases me, I very much love it.
I very much would want to make it for you if you will want it. We can make it on Yahoo Messenger.
Well I hope all have clearly explained and wanted to continue further.I want little to tell about myself.
I try to support the figure, me to like to be engaged in sports. Most of all, I
I prefer easy run on mornings, but in winter I go on stadium, to be rolled on skates.
On mornings I always do gymnastics. I try almost each day to visit pool. I very much like to float.
During float all groups of muscles work and it is very useful for health. Gavin you like to float?
Only I do not like when someone start up bubbles in pool, do of pool Jacuzzi:)
I hope you understand about what I. In general that it is cheerful,
Only a smell not so pleasant. I hope you now have not dinner,I am afraid has spoiled to you appetite:)
In general I for a healthy image of life. How you treat to sports?
The truth recently I very much get tired on work, and at me simply does not remain forces.
There was many meal fast food and began less, movement simply my work now such.
And I have a little lost my figure, but there are again occupations by sports and all
Will be again excellent.In the following letter I would like to tell about my last relations with men
From my country. All that I can tell now, it has not brought to me anything good.
Now at me not who is not present. And it is very difficult. I young also have
Very big sexual appetite. And to have to be content toys, dildos and masturbating.
I hesitate about it a little to write, but I hope you it does not confuse???
I do not think, that I do, something unnatural. I simply want also to me it it is necessary.
I think it naturally and I should not hesitate of it. That is natural, is not ugly.
Also say to me what you would like to see my new photos.
With mine toys would like to see???
I am very pleased that we can to continue our dialogue further.
Please write to me more about itself, it is very important for me.
I hope that it letter has found you in excellent mood.
I hope to receive the answer from you soon.
Your Natalya.Your WILD ORCHID
Hi my dear Gavin!!!!!
My best friend, is very pleasant to hear from you again, thank for returning to me.
I am glad, that I have an opportunity to write to you again, with this tariff of the Internet
It so is expensive. I so wanted to change the tariff and to write to you much more more frequently.
I wrote to you about it in the last letter. But I do not want to speak about it now.
How are you? I hope all wonderfully? At me all Ok and at me good mood.
Probably because now spring, at us today it is very strong
The sun shines and at me simply wonderful mood.
Spring I think that always brings a lot of good mood. Especially at us in Russia after cold and snow winter.
At us in Russia when there came spring, always spoke that the time of love and heat has come.
As I would like hope that this spring, to me has come warmly and present love.
Today I went and thought, and all can already it has come, only I while it do not notice???
By and large when I read your letters my heart is beaten in the other rhythm and me from it pleasantly.
To me to become more warmly and me it is really pleasant with you to continue communicate.
Because I feel that you very good kind person with which to me very easily and pleasantly to write letters!
Well, i promised in last letter tell to you about my last relations.
Whether I do not know to you it it will be interesting, but I nevertheless want to tell.
To tell the truth after my last relations, I now was difficult for believing in love,
Too am afraid, that new relations
Again will make to me a pain. I certainly want serious relations, but I am afraid.
Simply there were bad moments and it upsets me. Still when I lived in shelter,
I have got acquainted with the young man. All began as in a fairy tale, he almost gift each
Day to me flowers. Our relations developed very promptly and me then it seemed
That all I have found the happiness in life. But I deeply was mistaken.
Our novel last of half-year and then he simply has thrown me.
I did not see his almost whole year, and then he has come and was sorry, but I could not him forgive.
The act he has explained so. He had parents from rich circles of a society.
And the parents simply have forbidden to him with me to meet, as I the orphan.
I do not understand such people,and me was insulting to hear such words.
I have not forgiven him and we have parted by the friends.
You see if he really loved me, I think that he would not act so.
How you think Gavin his behaviour it is possible to name to the worthy man?
When I have finished shelter at me one more has appeared the man.
He was the usual man from not of rich family and I thought that with me there will be no more similar cases.
He even has acquainted me with the parents and we already even wanted to marry.
And as that to notice I began imperceptibly that ever more and more he began to come to me by drunk.
I tried to talk to him and he spoke that will throw to drink and promised what not will more to drink vodka.
At first it was valid so, but the month has passed all and again he began to drink.
When he came to me by drunk, he all time only wanted with me sex, but I refused him.
Then he began to beat me, and morning always apologized. I forgave him it and hoped that it last time,
But all this repeated and repeated. Once he has beaten me very strongly, and I could not to him it forgive.
Our relations were finished also my heart was again broken. He still long came to me,
Spoke me that more he does not drink vodka. But I did not want him to see.
Such at me were the relation. As you see my last relations were not successful.
I want, meet the man which is worthy my clean and sincere love. Which will never deceive me.
Age not a problem for me. I want to find the man is more senior than me. Because I think,
That the man of the senior age is more skilled in the relations with the woman. I am right?
I hope that I have not tired you with my histories, my relations. I also want to know your last relations.
But all this is very sad also I do not want more about it to speak, I want ask you.
I see that our relations develop very well and we can find out about each other all.
And I want to tell you that I the very sexual girl and me a lot of sex will be necessary.
Completely not modestly :):):):):):):):):):):):):)
If our relations will develop also we shall want meet, and we shall be together. You can deliver to me
It is a lot of pleasure in bed???? I want that you knew that a lot of sex will be necessary to me.
(at me the idea just was born! We with you could engage in virtual sex!
How to you my idea??? We can with the help web cam look each other and dialogue.
Also could look against each other and masturbating!!!!!!!! But if you are not ready and hesitate
While, I simply could show you my striptease!!!!! I very much want to make it for you!!!!!
My Yahoo Messenger ID: wildorchidnatalya Join this and we can dialogue.
When you can be ONLINE? We should agree upon time when we can be there both.
Only please do not think, that I such dissolute.
Simply not that I can not with myself to make, you excitation
In me such strong desire. With me it for the first time!!!!! I can not myself supervise simply!!!!!!!!!!)
I count sex in the relations very important.
But I want sex only with one man. Which man I shall love also which will love me.
I want to be is devoted only to one to the man. I search for the sole man, which will be with me all life.
Therefore I would like to know all about you. I do not want to be mistaken, probably you too so think,
Therefore give me chance to find out you completely. Certainly it is difficult for making not having met,
And I also count that the long dialogue with the help
Of the Internet can not tell to us all about the friend the friend.
But nevertheless before than we shall meet with you
I should be is sure in that you for that which man I search.
The strong and honour relations are necessary to me,
To me shall be necessary the sole man with whom I is happy.
And I shall be happy to continue ours with you dialogue. At us it turns out not poorly, how it seems???
I to send you with this letter my rather frank photos.
I have even more frank photos and you I shall send it,
But only patience. I hesitate a little. If you will want it certainly.I hope you like my photos??????????
I only hope, what these photos are not seen by anybody, except for you?????
It only for you, I would not want that my photos who or saw another.
I hope to you my photos will like, I very much want to know your opinion.
I also hopes not confusion you by my photos and you do not consider me dissolute,
If you that confuses, you only say also I any more I shall not be.
Well I assume this all about what I wanted to inform directly now.
I hope this letter brings a smile to your face and brings heat to your heart.
Also I very much hope to see your letter already soon. Hope you dont disappear!
Many Hot Kiss and Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope Your future girlfriend Natalya
(Be not frightened, it only an idea, what you think of it???)
Hello my lovely Gavin
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!Your foto it super!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am glad, that I again can write to you the letter.
And I am very happy to see your letter and you very hot and
The sexual man, it is visible from your letters.
I'm fine, I hope at you too all well?
I am very happy, that you liked my photos. It is valid for me
Very important, as well as for any woman to feel that I like the man
Also that I am desired. I for you am desired??? You want me?????????
I have many photo and I hope you can see all this.
These photos were made for me by my girlfriend.
I am sorry, that I not so frequently write, but I explained you in the past letters.
That with that tariff of the internet, that I have now, I am simple I can not to myself
To allow it is more than dialogue with you. It now for me is very expensive.
But you would know as though to me it would be desirable more dialogue, I very much frequently think of you.
When I am on work to me very much it would be desirable to appear somewhat quicker
Home and again to see your letters. It is good me with you, you seem to me of me
You understand, how not who another and I am almost sure, that if we lived in one
To the country, we would be exact already together. To me so it is bad, so it is hard for me to be in it
The world of one, at me anybody is not present. So it would be desirable to have someone beside who can
To support a difficult minute, the person on whom it is possible to rely. And you would know
As I am glad to an opportunity of dialogue with you. You for me are put, is very close.
Whether I do not know you understand that I want to tell. I simply do not know how to express the ideas.
I did not write to you not so often both unfortunately and now I can not write the big letter,
I cannot send with this letter photos at all, and the more so Yahoo Messenger.
You probably frustration, but I cannot simply make it. To me simply will not suffice
Money to the Internet. I did not think, that the Internet to me will cost so dearly.
Good exit from this situation would be change of my tariff of the Internet.
But I am simple now I have no any financial opportunity to make it.
We could communicate much more, every day or even some times in day.
I very much would like it also you I hope too. Agree, it is not normal,
When we have an opportunity of dialogue of all once in some days.
I have not enough of it, I want to have constantly communication with you, but I can not. It upsets me.
I already unfortunately should finish this letter. To me it is very sad.
I cannot give more time to the person at all who is very interesting to me.
I you would want to ask to make for me something. I hope you to me you will help.
I would like to ask you Gavin to help me with change of my tariff of the Internet.
Otherwise, simply it is not meaningful to continue our dialogue further.
I wrote, how many all this costs in the last letters.
It costs 95$ and I can have change tariff of the Internet and I can
To use the Internet without restrictions.
And then, I shall simply fill up you with the letters and sexy a photo:):):)
And I very much would like to show you my striptease and to have with you
Virtual sex with help Yahoo messenger.
If all this is certainly interesting to you. I hope, what yes???
I only do not know as you can help me with it.
In fact we are in different parts of the world??? But I shall try to learn ways.
Can be at you is any idea in this occasion?????
I thought of it much, and to tell the truth doubted you it to ask. But I think it
Correctly, you are interesting to me, it is good me with you, but it is not normal, that we now so
A little we communicate. It does not arrange me, I already all was exhausted, it very much upsets me.
I want to share with you the ideas, experiences, I want to send you more
My photos, I want to do pleasantly for you. But I can not. And only because of a small problem.
You can make me happy, it is more than dialogue with you will make me happy.
I at once to return all, as soon as I will have opportunity.
And still request, I would like to ask you, you can come today to me in dream?????:):):):):):):):):):):)
Well, I wait for your answer with impatience.
I very much hope, that you will help me with this small problem.
I kisses you on all your body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kiss and Hugs. Your Natalya
Gavin I do not know what to tell, I cannot really communicate further with
You without your help. I shall remind, I need 95 dollars on change of my tariff of the Internet.
I very much do not want you to lose. You began me very much dear for this time. And I feel that I have to you feelings.
You break to me heart. I now have tears on my eyes.
I unfortunately already should finish, absolutely there is no money for the Internet.
But I of you ask Gavin to help me, you can make it with the help western ynion. I today saw advertising it. I the truth do not know as it
Works. Please think up this money. I do not want you to lose.
I very much feel, that between us all can be developed.
I very much want dialogue with you, with you it is very interesting,
You kind. Please do not throw me.
In fact present the man, you will not cause a pain to the girl,
Which you are not indifferent. I shall stop, but very much I wait for your answer.
Your forever Natalya