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Letter(s) from Tatyana Brauer to Todd (Canada)
Hello Todd !
In this letter I'd like to give you more information about me. I'm 29 y.o. my weight is 54-56 kg and I'm about 171 cm high. I'm trying to keep fit so I'm in good shape. I live in city Kazan it is in European part of Russia. i share the flat with my daddy and brother. i work as a teacher of art learning children how to draw. i love my job. it gives me a good chance to communicate with children as i don't have any myself. that's why i want to meet a person to create a family.
I dated a person from Russia but he deceived me. i found out that he had serious relations with another girl. that was rather hard to me.. . I don't want to deal with Russian men anymore as they do respect women and very many of them are alcoholic or drug abused you might happen to know... i tell it to you because i want to be honest with you. i don't want any misunderstanding and mistrusting.
I don't trust people since that but I'd love to try with you. i try to follow a proverb 'don't wish a person smith you don't wish to yourself'. it would be perfect if all the people followed it. i hope you understand my letters because I'm not perfect at English. i understand pretty well, either i can talk. i like this language i studied it at school and later at university. i try my best to have a good command of English. i think it's enough for the first letter. tell me what you think about all this. if you want to learn more you can write on my mail. I'd be very glad if you did so.
look forward to hearing from you
Hi my new friend Todd! This is Tanya! I'm so happy to receive a letter from you. Franckly speaking, I didn't hope that such a man as you're would answer me. It's very pleasant for me! Now i'm going to tell you about my hobbies and interests.
I like plenty of things. My favourite colour is a colour of red roses. I'm fond of reading stories about love. I'm rather romantic you see. I listen to different kinds of music. It makes no difference to me. But the music must be beautiful. I like classical things like Beethoven (especially ' a lunar sonata '). Also I go for 'Roxette', Celin Dion, Madonna. And I like 'Scorpions', their song 'The wind of change' makes me cry. At the same time i listen to pop music i like Avril Lavin 'when you're gone' that's a thing! Sjmetimes i prefer R&B you know Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado. Very rythmical music. I don't go to disco clubs often i prefer staying home making myself comfortable on the sofa in front of TV.
I like 'Beautiful woman' with Julia Roberts. This story is worth admiring. I'm fond of films where love wins, it is so touching! . I also love films about residual friendship (' We were the soldier ', 'the Blade ', ' the Brotherhood of the wolf ', 'Gladiator'). From a comedy I love comedies where plays Jim Carry: his unforgetable 'Mask', ' Silly and still Silly ', also love film of ' Criminal literary dust' and film with Al Pachino ' Aroma of women '. Have you watched them? What do you think about 'The house of evil-1,2,3'? I watched them but there're too many violence there to my mind. As for the leisure time, I keen on sport as i've already told you. I love tennis and badmington in the open air. Also i like swimming and just sunbathing. It's nice when you want to relax liying on the beach.When winter begins it's rather cold here. Children go toborganning and snowfighting. I'm fond of skating and skiing when the ponds are frosen over and the air is fresh. I also enjoy dancing. It's a wonderful way to have time. You see i'm a bit romantic so i'm fond of travelling though i can't afford myself to travel a lot. I love sunsets and sunrises. It's amazing! I like reading, and I love children very much, and because of this I dreamed to become a teacher when i was a little girl. When I have free time, I like reading. I love different books: about love and about risk, sometimes I like detectives. My favourite authors - in general from the Russian Literature are for example, Chehov, Turgenev and Tolstoy.What do I wait from our correspondence? I'm a gentle andsociable girl. I want to be loving and to be loved. I want toreceive care and attention from the person I love. I'll givehim all my tenderness and love. I'll admire him and our love.I want to share a remarkable life with beloved and all my private thoughts. I would like to share all my private secrets with him. I search for the reliable and honest person, which loves me and estimatesme. I'll stay by him every second when he requires me. I want to have steady family and children. I'll be a my family. I think, that the family will be for me the most important thing on the Earth. I search for the person who will be mybeloved, my friend, my husband, and father of my children. And I wish my dream come true. I really dream from the future steady family. I'll be a happywoman with such a family. But I should add here that children are very important, but, first of all my attention will be devoted to my husband as children become the adult, and, they will work independently, while a husband - a unique person with whom I'll stay for the whole my life. Here i would like to put some questions. Have you ever had serious relationships? If so, why did it stopped? Have you ever been married? What do you dream of? What is your perpose in life? What do you expect from our relations? What kind of people is your wife to be? I'd be very glad if you answer me. I hope that my letter is not too long. Didn't you get tired with reading it? Could you send me more pictures? I hope you understand what i write you.
Hope to here from you soon!
P.S Many thanks for your pictures. I very much like to look them.
Hello dear Todd!
I hope I can call you a friend because you seem to be a very nice person. So I'd like to continue our correspondence to know you better.
I feel you're the one I could have serious relationships with.
I must confess therer's a new feeling in me.
I remember it since I was in love for the first time. When I was 12, I fell in love with one boy as it often occurs in school, but now when he became an adult he drinks a lot and is completely unreliable.
Unfortunately, alcoholic drinks are an unresistable temptation for most of our guys.
I don't understand it at all. I don't like having a lot of drink, I don't smoke either. Though I can have some wine on parties. I prefer red wine.
What do you like?
I'm a person who desire to find true love and I believe that for all of us there's our second half in this big world. The only thing we have to do is to start listening to each other.
I'm so happy to meet you, I want you to understand that I begin enjoying my life since our correspondence. That's true. Todd, all I want to tell you - you are an increasingly interesting person and I really would love to become someone you will trust and support. I'm a kind of person who makes her choice only once and very seriously. Hope you understand what I mean.
If you want such person to be with you till the rest of your life, you only have to believe me , to try to understand me and to support. I think that you won't decieve me? I only need respect and estimation. You know today I was going home with my friend (she works with me) and I saw a pair: a boy and a girl. They were so happy! They were hugging each other and smiling. I tought of you immidiately. If we went walking like them, everybody would envy us. I admire the ability of people to love till the end of their days . You know I'm romantic, I like watching the stars and just the sky. Sometimes I wish I could fly to touch them. I'd be so happy if I meet a person who will care of me. Unfortunately, there's no one here.
But luckily I met a girl who advised me to try corresponding via I-net. She helped me and I chose you from thousands of men. You can see how I look like on pictures I send you. Write me what do you think of it. If you don't like smth , tell me honestly because I don't want us to have secrets from each other. I won't take offences.
Tell me more about you: your family, friends, hobbies.
I feel crazy about you, I want to know more and more!
I think, that then our relations can become really serious and who knows, probably, for ever.
Write me back as soon as you can.
Have a good day!
P.S I love your pictures.
Hello my best friend Todd!
Thanks for the letter back and for the shown interest in me.
It is very pleasant for me, that you do not forget about me.
I think that we're becoming good friends. I feel that our friendship becomes stronger every day. I'm glad I wasn't mistaken in you and I'll try not to disappoint you. You know during this small period of correspondence as you have already understood you became a part of my life. I'm getting very upset when I have no new messages from you. But if I have a new one , this really makes my day! It makes my spirit go up. I would like to tell to you about my family.
My brother works in the furniture industry as a joiner. His name is Andrey. He is 31. He joins different parts of wooden furniture. I would call him 'golden arms'.
I also have a grandmother, she is already in her middle eighties(84). When I was a little girl, I used to come to see her on holidays and in summer. I enjoyed staying with her and my grandfather a lot. He was 5 years her senior. After his death granny's health worsened badly. We tried to persuade her of moving to our place but she doesn't want to. She says she'll stay where she was happy with her beloved . We respect her feelings and we wouldn't insist on it but we simply worry about her. My father works as a bodyguard in FSA ( Federal Security Agency) so I can't tell you more about his job- it's a secret even for me. Sometimes I behave childishly, I'm simply too trustful. So it's easy to deceive me.
For example, I never go to buy things to the market. I always buy things by more expensive price than they cost. So I usually take a friend of mine with me. When I have free time I like be sitting somewhere thinking about various things. I like dreaming about future maybe you are laughing reading it but I'm rather thoughtful person. I look at the world through the pink-coloured glasses. Perhaps, it isn't always good.
I would like you to write me more about yourself not only about your passtime but your character, feelings. What are your feelings and intentions to me? I-net is a greatest achievment of peole. Due to it I have met such a nice person as you are. Isn't it amazing that two persons can talk to each other like this? We are so far but I don't feel it. You seem to be so close when I read your letters! Todd, tell me how are you? Are you busy all day long?
It's so bad I have no telephone! It's a problem in Russia unfortunately. But I simply have to hear your voice! Maybe I would be able to call on your number from somewhere. I can't wait to talk to you personally!
I always think of you. It makes no difference wether I work or free. I think of children, they are very important. Children bring happiness to our lifes. It's our aim to grow then as good-natured, kind and honest persons. We should be examplary parents for them and show good moral traits of character. I dream of meeting a person who will be a good father for our children will take care of us and will be the most loving man. You see I share all my dreams with you because I trust you. Sometimes I think That I have met a person who will bring kindness and tenderness to our family. Todd every day I wait for your letters and miss you terribly. I write you with huge pleasure! Have a nice day honey!
Write me please it's necessary for me like an air.
P.S Many thanks for your pictures.
Hello my lovely Todd!
I'm so happy to receive a letter from you. When I get it it brings me joy and highest spirit. My heart is filled with emotions though it's difficult for me to express myself in english. I feel that every day we become closer and closer to each other. I'm sure you don't forget about me within a minute. I also think of you a lot. I think 'What is He doing now? How is His day?'
I really enjoy reading your letters they're so kind and full of real interest. Noone ever wrote me like you. It's rather cool now here but I'm fond of walking in the open-air. I like nature and animals. Especially kittens and puppies. They're so marvellous! Do you like going outside? What kind of trees grow in your locality?
Here there're lots of birches, maples, oak-trees and fur-trees, of course. Today i and my Dad went to the grandmother's and he told her I'm corresponding with a foreigner. I thought she would be strongly against it but to my great surprise she wished me a good luck and heppiness. She was so glad that I'd found a person who appreciates and respect me and whom I'm so interested in. This person is you my dear Todd. I feel this way now.
We have a bath in the village. It is very popular in Russia. it' s our pride I can say. Have you heard about it? If no, I'll explain to you. Russian bath is a small wooden building made of logs. There's a bake there and a chimney. It's very hot there about 90 degrees Celceus. Like your sauna. We have a wash here. It's very pleasant and good for health. Especially when you dive into cold pond after this. My daddy was aganst correspondence with a foreigner but when I showed him your letters he said you're a very nice person and deserves respect . By the way, he sends his best regards to you.
He's sure we'll be close friends and we should trust each other because there's no real relationships without honesty and respect. I try not to think about a long distance between us. It's hard to me to realise that you're so far. But with every letter I feel that this distance is becoming sorter and shorter. I've never been abroad but I'm fond of travelling. So it makes no difference to me where to be happy. If it is neccessary to go on the other side of the earth to my husband, well I'll do it. I dream of finding true love and being happy together. I think that is very important for every person. Don't you think so?
I want to find a man with strong will and good sence of humour to love and support me. I enjoy conversations with a clever and intellectual person so I'd be happy to spend hours with my husband talking in front of the fireplace. I think it's time to finish a letter.
Write me what you think about all this.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Hi my tiger!
As usually I was expecting your letter with impatience and I'm happy to receive it! I hope you're not against my callang you a tiger? My frinds at work say I became absent-minded as if I had fallen in love. I don't know what to tell them bacause I don't completely understand me myself. I can't think about something else but you. Todd you've really became a part of my life and I can't imagine my life without you now. I won't live without you I'll just survive somehow.
My feelings to you are really very strong I want you to know this. I'd love to meet you to talk to you face to face. It differs a lot from correspondence you know. My brother always ask about you. He knows that I wonna be with you and he wants it too. He wishes happiness to me. And to you of course. In yout letters I find smith I couldn't find in other men . Every time I receive your letter I feel much happier than before.
I can't help thinking of you. You're so kind, intelligent and understanding... I admire you but in letters I can axpress nothing. I feel I'm so poor at english.
Recently my brother asked me if I had gone to the marriage agency but I anawered thee were no need in it because I had already found a man I wonna be with. He says you're a reliable and honest person and I could be happy with you. I must ask you one question. Do you consider our relationships to be steady? I want it so much!
You have to understand me correctly, I don't mean taking you for granted, no. I want to be confident in you. It doesn't mean that I don't trust you. Just tell me what you feel about me. My hear beats harder when I think of you . I thinkI'm becoming like a crazy little girl raving love.
First I was afraid to confess in it. I thought you would laugh at me learning it. I mean my feelings. Because I know nothing about your feelings. You may say don't know each other well enough but during our correspondence I began trusting you.
I don't keep my feelings inside coz I see you won't deceive me. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to do it. Now I'm not shy to confess - I'm in love with you Todd and I'd love to spend my life with you. I felt ill at ease telling you it but I hope you won't break my heart.
Look forward to your letter back.
Forever yours, Tanya
Hello my precious Todd!
I hope my previous letter hasn't cause your confusion. You might be surprised 'Why is she so impatient?' I'm answering you that I couldn't hold these feeling in me anymore so they escaped outside. I didn't know how to tell you about it and not to look like a little girl who has fallen in love with a prince on the white horse. I was afraid you wouldn't understand me. I've never felt this way before. I think God created you specially for me, and if you even wanted it, you will be the only man I would belong to.
You letters always bring comfort to my heart when I remember we're so far from each other. Those moments you seem to be so close to me. I'm sure that it'll be always warm and comfortable with you even in the coldest weather. I believe you are the man I've been searching for all my life . I'm so lonely here without you, I miss you terribly! I hold all your letters with me printed. And when I feel lonelyness I read them and realise that I'm not alone. That makes me a little bit happier. Sometimes I think if we met somewhen and stay together even for several minutes, it would be the happiest day in my life. That's the only thing I desire. Is there any way for our meeting I wonder? I wish it was possible... Tomorrow I'll go to one of the travel agencies and find out about the possibility of travelling to your country. I must ask you before- do you object my coming to you? Let me know what you think of it, if you like the idea of my coming over there or not. To love all ages are obedient. I completely understand your character and it makes it quite easy to me to open all my heart and thoughts to you. I believe there're four sourses love depends on: these're understanding, trust, honesty and respect. These are the main principles of love and I think noone can create love without them. Maybe I write you too much about my thoughts but I want you to know everything about me. Of course, when two people love each other they come across some problems, misunderstanding and disappointments. But finally they come to compromises and the Big Victory what is Love and Tender Family. If you have love in your soul, you don't need anything else. Love overwhelms you and the only thing you need is to make your lover happy. I think everyone desires such relationships. I would be so happy if you could call me you great love for ages!
If you doubt abot me, you should tell me immediately. Maybe I say smth you don't like and so on.It's important to be honest with each other.
I'm confessing I have no reason to doubt about you. Your letters are filled with such tenderness and support that I can't help trusting you in everything.
I can't but say you're the most wonderful person I've ever met.
I started feeling something more than friendship to you much before but I was afraid to confess in it even to myself. It's long time ago I felt a warm feeling of love to you I guess.
I'm waiting for your letter with impatience.
Tell me about your emotions.
With greatest tenderness,
Todd, I'm so pleased to see your letter!
And I think you'll be pleased to see mine also.
I'm okay, work takes all my time but I'm not against- I love it.
Otherwise, I 'd feel boring. I'm always happy getting a new letter from you. The only thing which makes me upset is that I can't write you as often as you write me. But I wish I could. I'd like to talk to you all the time but you know it's impossible for you and me, unfortunately. I'm so thankful to you for your writing me. Your feelings to me are very important. I'm glad that both of us feel the same way. It brings sence to my life and hope for better times. I always check my mail box expecting a new letter from you. I live with these expectations. I dreamed of you a lot.
I imagined I was talking to you holding your arms and looking into your eyes. I'm absolutely honest now, that's true and I don't want to hide my feelings . I like dreaming very much. I don't know, perhaps, it's not good but I'm a romantic person who likes to dream. Since I was a little girl, I dreamed very much.
I remember pretty well our techer in school telling us to forget about our dreams because they won't do any good to us. She used to say 'Draming brings only pain and disappointment when you realise that they are not a reality' Perhaps, she was right here. Dreams don't always come true actually. Even if you do your best to reach it. It's insufficient I think.
If you try to make your dream come true, it gives you a purpose in your life. That's essential. Not everything depands on us in this world for success. There's a destiny. And I believe there's some invisible power which makes events happen or not happen. But I think that anyway you should live with a Dream. It brings Hope. You know- if there's a will there's a way. That's one of the principles of my life. Moreover, dreams help you to understand what you want from your life. You start thinking everything over, analyzing you behavior, choosing the best way and making up your mind about your future actions. And then every success brings you so much satisfaction and hope that it helps you to live. Even if it's a smallest step up to your Dream. Your heart is filled with pleasure, belief and hope.
It's better to remember your victories than things that had hurt you whenever. That's why I'm fond of dreaming though they very seldom come true. I'm surprised i'm writing to you about all this. These are my inner thoughts. I think that's because I subconciously trust you. I've never had a person I could open my heart to, I could share my feelings. But now you appeared in my life Todd and I feel you'll understand me. I'm completely open to you and I want to repeat you are a part of my life now. I must be honest I'm almost dreadful , terrified with the thought I can lose you. Forguve me all my honesty and strengh of feelings. I'm sorry if I've offended you somehow or brought any discomfort. Don't stop writing me every day if you can.
I'm sorry I can't write you very friquently. I try my hardest, really.
I hope you're ok and everything is fine. I'll wait for your letter. I can't wait to meet you.
I'm still learning how to arrange all the documents to come to you.
Look forward to your answer.
Hello Todd, my love! How are you doing today? Hope everything is fine.
I think that all people are lunatics in love. They depand on their second halves completely. Love makes them behave like crazy people. Perhaps that's not bad. It causes strange actions sometimes. If love is a poison I would prefer be given this poison every day. Only the person who is in love can fullfill a bath with champagne for the lover, only he can give his beloved hundreds of roses and spend the whole night singing songa for his love. That's the most wonderful thing in the world. To feel that you need someone so badly that you can't help thinking of Him every minute. To feel that someone need you to be able to breathe. Your letters are so tender and warm! I never heard such words from anyone. I think that russian men simply don't know these word. Your words're so pleasant for me that it brings me to the sky! Sometimes I feel so lonely here during weekends. I have got some friends but they're not you. Since I met you they are not enough for me. I can't emagine how I could live without you. You showed me what real life is, filled with emotions and expectations. I'm so happy I found you Todd! I thought A person can live without love as I did. I thought it's better not to love than feel hurt and humiliation one day. But now I know that love can avoid disappointment. You tought me how to be pleased with your life, to be satisfied with every day. Every morning when I wake up I think of you Todd. And I know that noone can hurt me because there's you in my life - so understanding and tender. I've been searching for a person who'll be worth trusting. And I've found you finally. This person may be my second half I think sometimes. I'll fill the emptiness in his soul, And in he'll be the one in my heart. Person needs several things to be happy and now I know that Love is the most important. I tried to find love here but iwas given only roughness and disrespect. It hurt me horribly.But in the end I met a person who I can dream about future with. That's you honey. Lie spoilts relationships. That's why I ask you not to deceive me. You know - bitter true is better then sweet lie. I'm sure you're an honest person and you'r not going to deceive me. Am I right? I hope I am. I'm afraid of my heart being broken again. I really want to come to you and to try to create serious relationships with you. This is essential now for me. I talked to the menager of the travel agency and tomorrow he is going to tell me all the details of my trip. He said it's possible for them to organise my coming to you. They've already experienced such trips. I hope we'll come to agreement. This agency seems to be very reliable. I'll write you tomorrow or the day after tomorrow about our contract.
If love is rain, I'm looking for thunder
If soul is a ray, Im searching for sun
If loving heart is happiness, I waiting for you...
Lots of kisses to you!
Hello my Todd!
I think of you all the time missing you. You're so necessary for me that it's difficult for me staying here alone without you. If only you happen to know how badly I wait for the time I'll be able to read a new letter from you!
Now I know I'm madly in love. I want to come to you, to hug you to feel you're real and it wasn't just a dream. I wanna be yours. My dear Todd I can't wait to be together with you. If we menaged to creat serious and trustful relationships, I would be the happiest woman in the world. I like everything in your character. have very serious intentions to you. After a long time I feel I've found someone who'll care of me and support. I'm absolutely honest with you now and I really want to spend the rest of my life with you. My feelings to you are so strong that I'm scared to death to lose you. I appreciate you so much! I need real love, trust and honesty . I begging God to give me a chance to meet you. I want to know you better and experience happiness. Maybe then we will want to creat a family and to be together forever... I talked to the menager. He was very polite and helping. I decided to sign the contract with this agency. I've already paid them the first part of money for their service. That's for visa and all other neccessary documents for my trip. It was more then I expected. I thought it would cost about euro 200 but unfortunately it occered to be euro 500 because of some difficulties I wasn't aware about. That's not a very good news. It means that maybe my funds won't be enough for the trip. I feel shy telling you it but maybe I'll need your help with paying for the other part of the price. I still have some money left: my own and my relatives'. I'll have to pay for the insurence of the flight and for the tickets. The price of the tickets is unknown now because travel agents have to make up my route. The price depands on the distance for expence. It's difficult for me to ask you for help but I want to be honest - I don't earn much. I hope you'll understand me. I've never asked anyone for anything like this so I feel ill at ease. The only thing that makes me do it is my great desire to be with you. I hope it won't be an unsolvable problem for you. Our lifes depend for happiness on money. It's so unfair! So that's the progress of our meeting at the . The menager says they need further information about you: your full name, home address, calling number and the nearest airport to your city. I'd be very thankful to you if you could send me this information as soon as you can. The sooner, the better. The menager says they are responsible for all the people going abroad using their agency.
After I give him all information about you he will tell me the total price of the trip. I'm sending you my address as an example of what you should send me.
Korolenko, st. 60, apt.28
Postal code: 420094
full name - TATYANA BRAUER
Kiss you my love! Wait for your letter!