Letter(s) from Olga Loskudova to Ghulam (Holland)

Letter 1

Good evening my darling. Excuse me that I did not write long time to you. I had problems with my computer.
But now all was settled. I very much missed you and your letters. I experienced for you. I hope that you will read through my letter soon and will answer me. I look forward to hearing from you

Letter 2

HI my dear Ghulam. I have been very afflicted by yours the letter. Unless you do not trust me, do not trust in my love? These words you break to me heart. I considered, that our attitudes are under construction on mutual honesty and mutual understanding. For all time of our correspondence I very much have grown fond of you and have understood that you for me the most dear person on light. But I could not imagine in any way, that you will not render me trust. I am very afflicted. But all I shall try you to assure of that that my feelings - the presents. I in the whole days think of you, I do not forget for a minute. You - the unique person in my life for the sake of which I are ready on all. I very much wish to be with you, to see you every day, to enjoy you, to spend with you the best moments of gold days. I wish to be with you!!!! The darling, I completely understand all your fear. I understand you. The darling, but, you unless has not noticed my sincerity in my attitudes to you? I did not deceive you, I always spoke you the truth. To me was always your life I is interesting as very much experienced for you. To me to not spit on you. I love you, and I always share with you all that at me in heart and in a shower., yes if at me this dirty money I would not ask for you not copeck were Dear. I would take tickets both have made the visa and would arrive to you. But the darling, by virtue of my hopelessness, was necessary to ask me for you the help. You have answered me that you not against to help me with money for a trip to you. The darling, understand, I from you not that do not demand, not what money. I only have asked, whether you can help me? And you have answered me yes, on what I very much am grateful to you. Your money are not so necessary to me, I only wish to be with you and to love you, understand, greater it is not necessary for me. All gold of the world is unnecessary me even, you are necessary to me only. I shall hope. That you will be in earnest to me and at last that will understand, that in ours with you attitudes there is no not what game, our attitudes it is a reality. The darling, I shall hope for yours of understanding, read through my letter closely and draw conclusions. I shall wait for your answer. With the big love and hope for understanding Irina.

Letter 3

Good afternoon!!! How you? How today your day?? I'm fine!!! Except for that that you are not present beside! The darling I am very strong on you I miss!! I do not have not enough your caress and love!! Lovely I every day asked by a question when we shall be together??? I cannot wait that moment when I can look to you in eyes and I can embrace you!!! Up to you my life was grey weight, in it should pleasures, not light, it was boring and in it there was no love!! The darling you to me has given all of that to me did not suffice!! You have given me hope for ours with you the future!! I trust that we shall be together and not that will not separate us!! I wish to love you and to be favourite! I trust you and completely to you I trust the heart! I love you!!

Letter 4

Good afternoon my favourite, careful Mughal. At me all is normal. Weather in the street cloudy, sometimes leaves the sun. Favourite mine how passes at you the day off? I hope, that you will well have a rest, and with new forces will meet new week. In an apartment repair has ended, but workers have admitted one marriage, at me in an apartment workers have torn an electric wire which was in a wall, now the electricity does not work for me in one room, on Monday will have to cause the master that it repaired electric posting. Yesterday there was very strong rain, on roads went a lot of water. Favourite I Mughal, today has dreamed me, such remarkable dream, to me has dreamed, that we sit with you, very long we sat and looked against each other, about something spoke, and then somewhere have gone, have come to any place which is not known to me, it was coast, we have approached to water and looked at a dawn, the sun rose from horizon, the sun was such big and bright, and we stood and looked, and in our eyes was visible, that we are happy, in our eyes sparkled sparks of happiness. My darling, in this dream all was so really, that when I have opened eyes in the morning I not at once have understood where I am, I of minutes 15 came to the senses, and when I have come to the senses, to me became so it is a pity, that it was a dream, but to me it was pleasant, for any instant I was with you, and I am happy, it was very remarkable dream. Favourite mine, I expect appointment to you, favourite mine Mughal, remember that there is a person to which you is dear and there is a heart which you loves, know it! I do not ask many, easier to be with you beside, to be your wife, I do not represent a life without you, I too love you, yes I love! I can forget everything, but except for our days which will be at us, your hands and eyes, I love you, and I shall love, with the big pure love. Good afternoon my favourite, that which I always expect favourite mine Mughal. At me all is normal. Favourite mine, yes I am going to leave Russia to live with you, to be with you always because I very strongly love you. My darling, I am going to go to Moscow to do documents, approximately in one day I shall go to Moscow. In the street there is very hot weather. People are hidden from the hot sun who where, someone in water, even at all fountains it is a lot of people, on street the heat, today + 34 degrees of heat has come sharply. I today all the day long sat houses because on street to leave very much heat, during such time it is good to be at water on the river or on the sea, and to me far to reach the river, I spend time in bathing. Favourite mine, you are in my ideas, and I cannot simply take and throw out you from the ideas because I love you, you to me are very dear, I appreciate your care. And when we shall meet, I shall touch you, You will shudder, and the sweet shiver will fill your body, I shall kiss your eyes, You will smile, I shall whisper, Kind night, native, I shall wish Beautiful and color dreams, I always shall be a number, I shall be with you in pleasure, and minutes of sweet, I shall see your smile and grief, I shall divide with you all your emotions, I want that you was happy with me, I do not wish to give you of an occasion for frustration, on the contrary want that in our life always there was a happiness, pleasure and the consent. Favourite mine, I wish to construct with you such strong family which will be the strongest fortress that no troubles could break our love, and let all troubles which exist bypass us the party, I with you shall struggle for our happiness. With the big love, a kiss, Irina.

Letter 5

Hi my favourite, careful husband Mughal. C great pleasure I read your letter, you are very pleasant for me. At me all is normal, with feeling what be fast we can together. How days off have begun at you? At us in the street good weather, all also costs a heat + 33 degrees. Today again went in a garden, to water flowers, has returned in the evening. Went on the river, water very warm bathed, in the evening, only it is a lot of mosquitoes, I was quickly expiated in the river, have put on and have run home. Yes favourite mine, it will be very good, if I shall start to do documents, but for this purpose will be necessary money, and the more likely I shall receive money, the documents that I could go to you will be more quickly ready. Favourite mine, I shall love you while my heart fights. Favourite mine, the way to my heart is opened only for you, for others the door is closed, all the night long, days for you, only you in my life, it would be desirable, that you have looked in my eyes and have understood, that you are necessary to me only, instead of money and popularity, I love you, it is heavy to look every day at you and to cry, I want, that you looked only at me, the darling, favourite you the best, I sincerely wish your of good luck because you of it deserve, and all the same you will be happy with me or with other girl, the main thing that your eyes were shone, and I always saw your smile, happiness to you lovely, and the big and light love smiled only to me, held my hand in the hand and never released. With strong love, a kiss. I wait, Irina.

Letter 6

Hi my careful Mughal. Today in the street good weather. At me all is normal. I very much would like to be with you. How at you business? I hope, that you by way of. Favourite mine, you for me are more than simply friend, I love you, but I would not like to afflict you, that I cannot arrive to you. You know at me there is no money, and to me is very sick from it. Day at me passes in full loneliness, only with ideas on you I do not feel lonely, and I regret for that distance which divides us. For me you, my lovely, kind, gentle and strong person! Since then when we have got acquainted, to me it is hard one, without you. I began to think, that all life was engaged not in that. The repentance and a regret, fear has suddenly come, that behind a back there are more than past without you years, than ahead with you. All life I am engaged in the device of another's lives, was a victim, searched to myself for forces in weakness of others. Silly to ask questions, I do the destiny, and anybody to me does not prevent to go, at all to you, and in emptiness. But forces are not present, the belief is not present, ahead of I see nothing, even you. Though you this greatest happiness! You unique for the sake of whom I on morning open eyes. What to do, where to go? In fact at me never such feeling was and any more will not be. I do not require the rich house world where there is no you. As madly it would be desirable to touch you! Kiss you! Really you do not feel, how I grieve in the distance as I am pleased to your letters as I all is overflown by you and as I all each section you. Favourite mine, me it is very lonely, and I very strongly experience for us, for our meeting. Also know, that I have very strongly grown fond of you. The whole it is gentle Irina.

Letter 7

Hi favourite, careful, my most true husband Mughal. Today at me good mood. My darling, what mood at you? I hope, that at you also as well as I'm fine. Today in the street good weather. I have decided to not sit at home, and to go to walk in park to breathe fresh air. I went on park in fine dreams of you, of us, of our meeting, but I do not wish to tell what there were at me desires, you only do not take offence, I want, that my desires have come true, I trust in it. Favourite mine Mughal, I much that I can tell to you, but you should hear these words, instead of read through, I wish to speak you looking in your eyes, and I do not know who at our meeting will speak the first, but nevertheless I think, that the first will be spoken by you, yes you my favourite. While all this in my representations, but I trust, that shortly we shall not write any more each other the letter, and we shall speak all fine words looking each other in eyes, we can show the feelings, and these feelings are fine, yes feelings of love are fine, and I shall be very happy to show the feelings to you. Favourite mine, I shall pray for us, for our fine future that at all of us it has turned out. With love, set of sweet kisses. Your favourite, Irina.

Letter 8

I write to you favourite mine, good evening Mughal, today I am very tired, and I write late to you the letter, in the street is already dark. Today in a garden at neighbours burned the house, there was a fire. We for a long time did not have rains, a lot of the dry grass in the street is very dry, and someone is visible has thrown a stub and the fire when the house at neighbours has lighted up has turned out, I was still at home and did not gather to go anywhere, but suddenly to me in an apartment have knocked at a door, I have opened and have seen the woman in the form of, it was the fire inspector, it has told to me about happened, and has asked to go with it to me to a garden. When we have arrived, I have seen an awful picture, I have seen as at neighbours burnt down the house, fire could pass to my small house, and firemen watered my house in a garden that it has not lighted up. Firemen could not extinguish the house at neighbours, there have arrived two fire machines and both of them were without water, then they have gone on lake behind water while they went the house already all has burned down. Neighbours were not, they somewhere have left to have a rest, when they will arrive, for them it will be awful news. Favourite mine Mughal, but you do not experience, I'm fine, I only am a little tired, but I feel perfectly. How at you passes today day? I hope, that at you all is good. Now I write to you the letter, and in a head weight of memoirs, pleasant memoirs, memoirs on you, you know, pictures arise in itself, here we go along the street, we talk, here we sit at lake, coldly, you embrace me, and I am warmed from your hot body. I am a lot of all wish to tell to you, I would like to feel when you will hold me for a hand when you embrace me as I shall forget about all near to you, and to me will want that time has stopped, that this time did not come to an end, that you did not allocate an eye that did not disconnect embrace. I speak my God as strongly I wish to be with you! My darling, you the first to whom I wish to open. Yes it so, also know I from it it is very happy, I am happy to that there is you. Favourite mine, now I finish this letter in hope, that soon we shall meet. With love, set of embraces, kisses. Your love, Irina.

Letter 9

Hi my favourite, careful Mughal. I ask from you a pardon that did not write to you. My computer has failed, I very much worried. But now all is good, it was very a pity to me, that I could not write to you, and read your letters. Favourite mine, I all time think of you, you likely were very disturbing, because did not receive from me letters. I wish to tell to you many thanks for your care. Weather in the street became bad, in the street it is raining and cool, it is necessary to put on warmly. Favourite mine Mughal, know that you to me are not indifferent, that I strongly, strong love you, I speak you in all sincerity, you live in my heart, and I trust, that soon we shall together. My darling, I very strongly wish to embrace you, I very much would like to nestle on you. I so am glad, that I can write to you this letter, and I want, that you knew, that I love you, and to me very much it was not pleasant, that I could not write to you, to me very much was not quiet on a shower. Favourite mine, I wish to feel your breath, I very much would like to feel on myself warmly, tenderness of your hands. My darling, I once again ask from you a pardon, and I wish to ask you that you were not upset that you knew, that I shall not throw you because you became very native, most close person for me. Favourite mine, all at us will be good, I trust in our happiness, we shall be pleased together when we shall meet, I wish to be on your hands. With love, gently whole, your favourite, Irina.

Letter 10

Hi my favourite, reliable, careful husband Mughal. Today good weather, in the street + 23 degrees of heat. My darling, is very a pity to me, that you think of me so badly, your money are not necessary to me, and I shall send them to you back, but I want that you knew, that I'm fine, day today has passed at me normally, but nevertheless there is no you. I am tired from single walks, but I trust, that soon we shall walk together. My darling, how at you business? What weather at you? At you people go still to bathe? Favourite mine, I am grateful to destiny and the curiosity that we shall be together. I wait for appointment to you, and I trust, that it here will be fast. Favourite mine Mughal, now you are not present beside with me, but ideas on you, always beside! I write to you from heart with all emotions and feelings. My darling, what happiness for me will be with you beside! You my favourite prince, my hero. I so am grateful to destiny, that it will present me a meeting with you. As though I would like to make you the happiest! And to present you half of world, and second half to leave to itself! And to connect our two half, because together we the whole world! I very much would like to feel your gentle kisses as reviver which fills me with forces, emotions and feelings!!! Also know favourite mine, that I with impatience wait for our meeting, my gentle, kind, careful, tender FAVOURITE! With love, set of caress, kisses, your favourite, Irina.

Letter 11

Good afternoon, you my favourite, careful husband Mughal. At me all is normal. Yesterday day has passed easy. Favourite mine, how at you business? I very much hope, that at you everything is all right. I went to hospital, learned as my girlfriend feels. The doctor to me has told, that it will be soon healthy, but now it is better for not disturbing, with my girlfriend the doctor the psychiatrist is engaged, it speaks, that it the strong girl, but I do not know it spoke it, that its guy was lost or not, I do not know it, likely yet did not speak, but it is better to it to know when to speak, in fact it the doctor. Weather in the street good, heats the sun, temperature in the street + 26 degrees of heat. I think to go a little to walk in park, I need to calm down, here if you were a number, I know, that to me with you it will be good, you will not allow me to be upset. My darling, ours with you acquaintance was accident for which I am grateful to destiny. Now we not together, but I trust, that soon we shall a number with each other. Only you me understand, favourite mine, to me any more with whom to speak, only with you I can speak, it is a pity to me, that we speak only by e-mail, instead of looking each other in eyes. Favourite mine Mughal, you are necessary to me, I do not have not enough your gentle embraces. You are very necessary to me of caress, kisses, I wish to hear your gentle words. Favourite mine, without you days pass painfully, in the evenings I began to drink many coffee though I do not love it, but coffee it me most of all warms, was not present heats not coffee, I am am warmed with ideas on you, I represent you beside with me. The biggest happiness for me to rise in the morning and to see beside such native, your sleeping person. My darling if you wish to learn my love to you give me only one chance, and is no time you will feel necessary, you always will be we love, and you are very necessary to me. One I shall tell from you without mind. Also know one, I wait for a meeting with you. With love, with ardent kisses, your loving, Irina.