Letter(s) from Ekaterina Ivanova to Lee (USA) part 2

Letter 32

Hi Lindy! I am very glad to get your letter this evening.
How are you doing my friend ?
I want to let you know about my friend Olga. As it cleared up her appendicitis got inflamed and at night she was operated by surgeon. But now she is fine and after about a week she will be very fine! So it is not necessary to worried much about her! I saw her today at my lunch break! My mood raised up about it and I let myself to relax mentally! I thought about you Lindy. May be today after work I will go home by foot. I like to walk along the street and to breath fresh air, especially when the weather is fresh and solar as today, everything reminds about the coming summers. As a matter of fact I don't want to go home. It is very boring and lonely at home. Sometimes I don't mention it, but sometimes when I come home with a good mood, I want to talk very much, to share thoughts with anybody, to have fun. But my flat is empty and I have to be in full solitude. And my good mood disappears. I simply sit down in an arm-chair and look at the window. And when the silence deafen me when I hear as my blood flows in my veins, I hear movement of my eyelashes, at that moment becomes unbearably and my heart compresses. I don't know how to struggle with it. I can listen to music or read a book. But in some moment I understand that I just deceive myself. In fact I want a beloved person to be near me, with whom I could spend evenings, to meet morning, to speak about yesterday and to dream about tomorrow day. I want to walk and to feel a strong man arm holds me. I don't want to cook meals only for myself. I want somebody to appreciate it. But enough about it. I often remember childhood especially last days. I always dreamed to become a grown up as soon as possible. As every child I completely believed that grownups don't have problems at all. I dreamt in the childhood and I dream now. Of course, the world of dreams is an illusive world. We live in a real life, so we can't to sink into the world of dreams and phantasies for long. When a dream becomes obsession, it can bring only pain and disappointment. Practically dreams do not always realize. It happens that you use all power, all aspiration to make the dream come true. But as much you try, not all in this life depend on us. When the dream for a long time does not come true, as though you did not try, dream ceases to be that star, which was for you lighthouse in ocean of the life, which illuminated your way. But anyway, I think that it is impossible to live without dreams and hopes. When there is a dream, the life is filled with sense. The dreams are those things that do us people that distinguishes us from the whole rest alive world. The dreams contribute variety in ordinary and grey life. The dreams force to think, analyze, choose and come to a conclusion. The Faith and Hope - an eternal satellites of our lives. And regardless of what waits you at the end, joy of the victories and subordinated tops we remember better, than disappointment and pain of the defeats. Do you agree with me Lindy? I am surprised that I write you all this. I haven't had person, with whom I could share my thoughts. But now I have found you, and I am very glad. Forgive me for my frankness. If I said something that bothers you- forgive me please. I want to let you now that I want to hear your voice to know you better but unfortunately the mobile communication here in Russia is still expensive I had mobile phone, but after divorce, my ex-husband took phone from me. We have phones at our flats and homes but because of much industry objects located near our town almost all phone lines are inner, i.e. people can call just all over our town and a couple of the nearest villages which phone numbers have the same beginning digits. I have spoken with the mail center in our town and they told me that I could communicate with your country just from the communication center and that are all possibilities which I have here to call you. But it is very expensive thing and I wish to use it in special case! You can tell me your phone number more precisely and I could call you someday! I hope you will understand these things in Russia and will not angry on me because of it. I still can use email to correspond with you my dear Lindy! But now I should return to patients...

Yesterday i wrote poem

Blue, blue sky
No clouds on it,
It is so nice,
I am staying under blue world,
Only wind around me,
Wind is so fresh,
Wind is so cool,
Wind is so strong,
It brought me your thoughts
And told me that you miss me...
Flying all over the world it seen all happend,
I ask him to bring my kiss to you,
When you open the window,
Just to feel it :)

Best regards from Olga to you.
I will wait for your letter with impatience.
Have a good day!
Your friend Nadya.

Letter 33

Hi Lee! I waited to receive your email today, and when I got your letter, it was a better time.

I was working with lots of stress today. Today we had to receive medicines and all pharmaceutical materials, including anesthetics. But for some reasons the bus with medicines again has not come to our clinic. Of course I have declared to all patients that I can work but only without anesthetics. But there were many people who were ready to cure a tooth even without anesthesia because there is no guarantee that the bus will come tomorrow. Therefore today was the twice difficult working day because not each person is able to endure a pain, especially children. Anyway, I took a break and I have been informed that you had written. I forgot about all my worries with work. I wanted to write back instantly but I could not because of the flow of patients wishing to cure a tooth. So, thank you for your letter, Lee! Forgive me that I speak about a teeth and about my work. Probably the process of reading about it is unpleasant, just like to sit in the armchair in dental cabinet... :) . I know that many people are afraid of dentists, but I assure you that as the woman I am absolutely not dangerous and harmless! :) Thank you again for your letter! Now the main moment of my day is expectation which eventually changes to sincere joy because my friend Lee has written me his letter! Thank you Lee! Each time I have small feeling of worry - "What if Lee have not written me today?" But when I receive your letter, everything becomes simply excellent, the smile does not leave my face and already nobody can overpersuade me that this day is a good day! I hope Lee your day as well is filled with pleasure and nothing will sadden your mood!? It is really wonderful, when in the life appears new aspiration, new purpose, don't you agree? Without it life would lose any sense. Everyone has the purposes and dreams, small and big, some of which are easily accessible, some are beyond reach. Some dreams are like stars that so beautifully sparkle that you want to touch them by your hand, understanding at the same time that it is impossible. And how often happens that you give years, you give all your forces to reach your purpose; but all what you get is disappointment. And the thought, that your dream already never will come true, brings a pain. But I think much worse if you at all have no dreams and purposes. The life without dreams and purposes is empty. Dreams and the purposes force people to rise onto mountain top or to sink to oceans bottom, to conquer North Pole or to land on the Moon, to build family and to win on Olympic games. And when your dream comes true, when you reach your purpose, you have tears of sincere joy in your eyes, and it is much more important than many things in our life. And you will always remember these tears of joy, because these tears will tell you that you really lived, dreamed, aspired and struggled. Lee, What sort of life you are looking for now? I have noticed, that I often start to ask myself these questions. 30 years old is not a lot, but it is not young age also. I often begin to think of what I have done in my life, what purposes I have reached, what mistakes I made. I start to think of the future more often, I began to estimate my past. Probably this age - time to look back and to draw the certain conclusions, time to think and analyze a life, time to put new purposes and tasks. I begin to understand that I already hardly will able ever to touch amazing stars, I understand that many things in the life are not so simple as I thought; I understand that great deal in my life will be otherwise than I thought. It is a time of reassessment of values. And probably it is high time to dream about simple human happiness. You agree with me Lee? Enough about it. Lee, did I tell you that I have a Cat? She is very small and funny Cat, but I love her. When people see my Cat, they start to laugh. (His name is Maxim) May be I will send you some pictures of my Cat, and you will laugh as well...
I have absolutely overlooked, that I should return to my patients!!!
Necessarily poem for you,my friend Lee :)

I have never seen you in person ,
I have never looked in your eyes ,
In dream I met you ,
In dream at night I met your image.

I remember your image since that moment ,
Also i feel your embraces ,
I will remember for ever ,
All that happend in this dream

Write to me soon,
Your Nadya.

Letter 34

Hello my dear Lee, How are you doing this days ? :)

My mood is so fine when I got your letter, and have imagined that we are together and talk in person, It would be great:) Well, I had nice working day, 12 patients, at last in our clinic have delivered all necessary preparations and including anesthesia:) There is one more good news, a mine girlfriend Olga is let off home from hospital.. I was allowed to leave my work to meet her... My boss knows my girlfriends.. Our microdistrict is small, and it seems, that everyone knows each other..:) I could not visit Olga every day... But I did it every time i had an opportunity.. We've got a lot of news to each other.. And when we arrived to her house, I could not stop to talk to her about you:) she also is very curious.. I hope you are not against, that I speak to her about you so much?:) We could not speak for a long time... And about everything, I had to come back to work.. But I was glad, that I should see the letter from you Lee today:) Right now, behind window, the autumn rain like a tap-dancer beat off a rhythm. The window glass, deformed by water trickles, reflects like old mirror a gloomy sight of the grey sky. And the wind scornfully whistles among of old trees. And everyone here, glancing through window by indifferent empty eyes silently grumble about bad weather that spoils their mood and changes their plans. And I do not understand these people. How they can be so querulous? It is simply small rain - the gift of the nature, gift filling the air by delightful freshness, bringing an amazing, almost imperceptible smell of autumn. So many people in the world who dreams about rain; how many people who never saw a snow, who is deprived an opportunities to play the snowballs with friends. I always liked snowfall and rain. Lee, Whether I asked what season you like more? All seasons are magnificent, don't you think? The winter covers all around with a delightful white carpet. Trees and roofs wear fluffy snow-hats and a frost draws by invisible tassel amazing inimitable images on the windows glasses. And when you, Lee, hear snow crunch under your foot, and the sky slowly showers you with sparkling snowflakes, don't you want to take a slow walk with your woman? Or when the delightful gold autumn begins the most beautiful phenomenon in the nature - a fall of leafs? When the leaves, chased by a cool breeze, dances a waltz in the air and slowly fall downwards, undressing trees. And when you, Lee, hear rustle of leaves under your foot, and when in the sky you see a flock of birds flying away with sad song, don't you want to take a slow walk also with your woman? Or when you hear behind your window an autumn thunder, or groans of blizzard, would you not enjoy being at home with your beloved, to enfold each other in a warm plaid, and telling each other ridiculous and funny stories? I think it is a big happiness when people are able to value such things. And I think, if the couple are able to enjoy such things in a life, it only strengthens feelings. I am sure, now you think that I am rambling on. Forgive me please, Lee. I do not know why I write you this. Probably because I feel conveniently in talking to you about such things. I will better stop, because I am afraid that otherwise you will simply cease to write me. :)

I wrote poem :

All my life I lived with dream,
To meet you ...
Waited for you,
As trees wait for spring ,
When all blossoms ...
The love is around - has come true dream,
I wish to be with you,
We will be together all the spring long,
And summer,automn,winter,whole year,
Forever ...

With thoughts of you I will wait for your letter!
Nadya.
PS: I made pictures for you, in my apartment
I hope you like it.

Letter 35

Yesterday I came to cabinet to check any news from you, but I did not received anything. I was was sad but I thought that you did not get my message and will answer next day. So I was too sad today not getting your news again! I dont know why but I choosed you! I dont know what to think! May be you did not get my letter? Or may be you did not like my pics, letters or find someone else? Please write me, its very important for me. If you are not intrested in me please let me know.
Its so unpleasant for me to see my mailbox empty.
Nadya

Letter 36

Hello Dear Lee! How are you ? Today is a very nice sunny day! I hope you have a nice weather there too. Am I right Lee? I have no much free time to write you but I am glad that I have this opportunity! I hope you will be glad to get this letter from me. Today I woke up at 6 o'clock in very good mood! Guess why? Because you bright my days Lee! I prepared a breakfast for myself, take a shower, upon the whole everything was as usual. But when I went out in the street the strange things began to happen with me! I decided to go to work on foot, because the weather was very nice! Well I was going and thinking about you Lee, about your letters and about what I'll write you today. And I was so deep in my thoughts that I did not catch sight of crossroads! I made only one step on the road and I heard a car beep and a scream of tires! I recoiled back immediately. I was really scared. Everybody in the street stopped and stared at me. I was feeling myself very uncomfortably. "I have to be more carefully" I thought for myself. And now Lee I feel myself in a prostration. Have you ever been in such situations Lee? Please take care in the streets, everything can happened, keep the eyes open! :) In our life many things happen. Thay can be bad or on the contrary good or just wonderful. I think that the most wonderful thing in my life for last time is that I have met you! May be it is destiny? Do you beleive in destiny? I believe in destiny, because many events in the life are simply inexpactable. I think in the life of every person there are such cases when the hope has already left us, when it seems that you will not ever see light in the end of tunnel of life. How often you hope and wait for something, but suddenly happens something that changed everything in your life. And everything that was in the past becomes simply unimportant and insignificant. And you understand, that it is destiny. I am grateful to destiny for many events in my life, - for events that I did not expect but which have changed my life and me. And now I am grateful to destiny that I have found a good friend with whom I can share my thoughts, pleasures and sadness. It is so wonderful!
What physical features in the woman do you like more?
You remember your first kiss? :)
Poem for you my dear friend :

When i try to get sleep at night,
You come from the sky,
You come from star,
You touch my hair with lunar light
And make them gold...
When i am looking in you eyes,
I see all my dreams and wishes,
They are so close,
But at the same time are far...
When you take my hand,
I feel your warm,
As warm of sun,
Wich is so hot and far
At the same time...
When you kiss me so sweet,
I feel it with all my body and soul,
Both at the same time,
Our stars and sky are the same,
Our wishes and dreams are the same,
Our bodies are the whole one,
Why do not we let all this to come true ?

I will hope to receive your answer as soon as possible.
Write me please. I already wait for your letter!
Your Nadya.

Letter 37

Hi Lee! All I can say is "what a wonderful evening after the hard day!" I am so glad to receive your letter, because I thought that I will not be able to receive your letter today, because right now already evening, and I only now has returned to clinic. And your letter is a true surprize! We had "the outside work day". Lee, it is a day of a hard work. Every week some employees of our clinic - several doctors of various specialization and laboratory assistant who takes all analyses, are going all together on the special bus to various remote small villages which are located far away from big cities, usually in a thicket of a forest. Here a lot of such a villages. The public transport is not going to such a villages and people living there have no opportunity to visit clinic at any moment because there isn't own doctor there. And these people cannot go to big cities and settlements because these people have no personal transport. In these villages always there are many sick people, basically are small children or old and weak feeble people, whose life completely depends on other people. Therefore we go on the specially-equipped bus directly to these villages, and we render the medical aid to all needy people right in their apartments or in the bus. All these people already know us personally, and love us very much. But it is really the hard work because we are going there at 6 am, and we comes back sometimes even after 10 pm! That is why now I have no forces even to smile. That is why I have told you, that your letter is really a wonderful surprise, even though now I hardly will come home earlier 11 pm as I write to you this letter! :). I feel that I began to say silly things? Likely I already have tired you? Your question on sex very interesting. It is a question of the very intimate plan, but I trust you and I count necessary to answer it. I very positively treat sex. You see the sex is necessary need of the man. The sex is irreplaceable attribute of love. Without sex there is no happiness in love and family life. I consider, that it is possible to name sex by art. Not all people own it in perfection. Sex with the favourite man this large pleasure. But unfortunately I yet I have of the special man with which I can completely plunge into dreams of love and sexual imaginations. I hope, that I am faster meeting that the man, whom I shall trust completely and near to which I shall feel is sure. Who knows, probably it will be you? Lee, I am afraid that I will be writing to you during all night, because for me our dialogue is a rest by soul and body! It is good that tomorrow I can sleep so long as I want, because after "outside work day" we can come to clinic after a lunch break. My favourite day of week is Friday, because two next days - days off (though not always) and I can restore my vital forces and energy. So the days off for me - a holiday! Though now I do not feel pleasure when I think of the days off because these are days when I maybe can't receive the letter from my friend Lee! :) . But you likely will be happy when the days off will come, because these are days when you will not receive boring letters from one boring woman whose name is Nadya! :) . Am I right? Lee, can you imagine, while I write you right now this letter, Anastasia has fallen asleep right in the armchair opposite to me! She works together with me and we always work in the one group in "outside work day". Anastasia says hello to you! She has told she will wait till I finish to write my letter to you Lee, and now she simply sleeps! She is a true friend. But I will not talk about her as I am not sure if you want to hear about my friends. But she is really now the dear person in my life, like the sister. She waits for me because just as I, she lives not far from me. Frequently we spend the days off together. I spoke that I like the nature very much. I always spend a lot of time on the nature though I have such opportunity seldom. I like to walk simply in the park or simply to be in my bed all day long :) . I like camping, sunsets and sunrises, life in a tent, the smell of the river and bulrushes, a rustle of a small waterfall; night starry sky and amazing brilliance of a fish dissecting a water surface of a small lake under captivating moon light. It is very beautiful and romantic. Lee, do you like to be romantic with your woman? I hope yes. I am romantic:) I like fire and I am sure that there is nothing more tasty than a meal cooked on a fire or firebrands. And when air is filled with aroma of the forest and timber raspberry, river freshness and a smoke of the campfire, all this brings into my soul the feeling of freedom, and untamable desire to live. I know I already talked about my liking to cooking. I know many recipes and I like our national cuisine. "Uha", "Okroshka","Golubtsy", "Borshch"(soup), "Gribovnitsa" (mushroom's soup)! My favorite is "Okroshka"! I like peppery meal, meal with seasonings, Russian Georgian cuisine. Here it is very popular. Lee, do you love a tasty meal? say more about meal you like? Does the way to your heart lay through the stomach? :) If so, I think I have good chances! :) . Have you ever tried Russian Cuisine? Lee, I must go, because the darkness has already covered all around and if I will miss the last bus from clinic, I will need to go on foot some kilometers in absolutely deserted terrible places and Almost through a forest, and it is very dangerous. Certainly I together with Anastasia, but just as I, she is simply the woman. What is the funnest thing that you like to do, Lee? What event in your life you till now recollect with laughter? Oh, I have promised you to finish my letter, but instead of it I write again and again. Please, forgive me. I will wait for your letter with hope! I hope your day will be filled with sun warmth and human kindness!
Your friend Nadya.
PS. I have made for you pictures from work, I hope you like it:)

Letter 38

My dear Lee, I am very glad to get your letter.
How are you doing my dear friend ? How is your mood ?
My mood is very good :) Thank you for you are in my life :)
I have noticed my days are very lonely here without you are close to me. I think of you all the time now Lee and very often can get no sleep at night. I am very happy, I feel that our relations are very important for us both. And I am very happy to correspond with you Lee are so we far from each other, but I think we will be able to overcome this barrier may be with help of language of love :). I have never met here so kind, caring, handsome man as you Lee. I want to speak about my feelings with you, I feel that I can fall in love if I met you in person. When I get up in the morning and see the sun it put smile on my face, I close my eyes and see you are with me Lee :) I think, that we once shall meet each other. When we get up together, I would like to go to the kitchen and make coffee to bed, every morning is going to be our and every evening before we get sleep bring us pleasure time. In my imagination we are together at home, it is rainy and cold evening, but we are at home and we feel the warm of our feelings, we speak about feelings with you, you take my hand with your hand and I see your eyes, they are so kind, you look at me, your words about feelings sounds so lovely, oh my dear friend, you are the best man in the world! Lee I want to continue traditions of my family, my parent's life was full of happiness, they always supported each other, they were together for a long time, also they were very good people. Today has received the letter from Elena she is with her husband and I know that they have life full of love and happiness also. I think that every happy family is based on love. I think it is very important question "LOVE",it is importantfor both. Well, enough about it this time :) Lee I have recollected one history I want you to know about story happened when I was little girl, I was about 10 years old. Parents brought us to visit grandmother. Well, I went for a walk by myself, there is forest close to their house and I went there looking for berry, walking deeper and deeper to forest I lost way. It was terrible alone in the forest, I was just small kid... it become darker and I begun to cry, but nobody heard me because I was very far. I could not find way to house and each minute promt me by wrong way... then dark night came. Parents worried so much and called to special service which carry about wood and about 30 men include parents went with hope to find me there. They left brother Dmitry at home with grandmother. Two days left without any success. I eat berries and listen to birds all the Time. When come the 3rd days, Dmitry (he was about 15 years old decide to find me by himself) Dmitry has not tell anything to parents, just in the morning he took compass and went to forest alone. What happened later was mysterious. He find me on 4th day... and it took 5 days to come home together,we eat berries and slept under open sky, it was summer and the weather was fine. We come together.... from this time he is my good friend, so you can hear about him Often, when he grown up, became woodcutter... He in the wood industry :) His big hobby - Fishing and skin diving. Oh, unfortunately I should finish the letter - as I am waited patients...
Poem for you My Lee :

My heart is open and full of love,
It's grow with each instance,
Thinking of you and looking for light,
Which god gave us,
We get enought in our dreams,
But not in person,
Someday it happened,
I hope

Write to me soon
With kisses !
Your Nadya
PS:Has attached old photos with my parents and with me and brother
I hope you like it.. It are very dear for me!

Letter 39

Hello my fine friend Lee,
I am very glad to get your letter. Thank you very much, you are honest with me, you are very kind man. I Had free days from work. We always receive it after "the outside work day" we have just back from grandmother, Dmitry has left works, that we could visit the grandmother all family. We had very good time there, We couldn't stayed at home, all the time because There was a desire to spend time on open air . Dmitriy's wife was there also,in the evening my brother Dmitriy cooked barbecue despite of cold weather and salat with vegetables! We had remembered our grandfather. He has left us in these numbers in 1960. in our country there is a tradition. To recollect died relatives in day of their death... Than he took his mondoline (it is like small guitar) and sang, grandfather's favorite composition: "Under balkan star" (folk song). It is very old composition was very popular during the second world war where our grandfather Sergey took part. He had many medals of honor, I wrote to you about him... The grandmother told about the grandfather he shoot gun and sometimes shooted, but this days shoot gun belongs to Dmitriy He hunts now with it. Dmitriy like to shoot in the evening and I tryed also :) He once took me on hunting, but nevertheless I could not shoot at animals.. Lee, also we have so much to talk about you ! It is very interesting, They are interested in your relatives, than you are engaged, and when I shall acquaint you with them:) Relatives says hello to you. How was your day? How is the weather there? I hope good. Lee we were born in so different places of the world and we speak other languages with you, but it is not problem at all with communications, I am enjoy it, have never met so handsome and honest man here, to talk about so many important things, if you know how it is lonely sometimes during the day and i want to get you letter so much ! I think That would like to have family with so kind and honest man similar to you Lee. :) I want you to know that my future husband will be very happy with me. I am sure, I will try to make him the happiest man in the world. I am confident that ready for serious relations, and hope that our relations will grow to love, I think it is possible for me, because I feel that you are very good man and I feel that we learn each other much better !!! Yes, we communicate not for a long time, but do you feel the same way as me? It may sound strange but sometimes I feel that we know all about each other, oh if we meet one day, it would be great :) I frequently think we will have many nice things with my future husband, we will clean our apartment together, watch TV at home together when it is rainy weather, we will go on movies... You have similar ideas? Yes, life is too short, if destiny give you a chance you must keep it strong in your hands. I think that We became so close to each other, I am really happy to communicate with you Lee.
Sorry, I should come back what to work..
I very wait your letter!!!
Write to me soon Lee!
With kisses !
Your Nadya.
PS. I send pictures for you, from this summer. I hope you like it.
How ours nature to you?

Letter 40

Hi, my dear Lee! This is such a pleasure to get letters from you. You can’t imagine what I feel when I see that there is a message from you. It is always so nice to get more and more about you Lee. Internet is a very good invention. It gives an opportunity to meet your soulmate even being on a distance. Lee I would like so much to meet with you in real, to see your eyes and to sink in them, to feel your warm touch... Well, this is a dream, a very sweet dream. Perhaps, I could come to your place one day... Who knows what life prepares for us. I am not the kind of person who likes to waste time. I never feel bored and you will be able to feel this with me one day. I want every day to be a celebration. I know that life is difficult and that’s just impossible. But my beloved man will feel that every day for him is a holiday. I feel so vulnerable here and even miserable sometimes. People are so cruel and rude. And I am so glad that I have you in my life. You are so smart and understanding. I want to say thank you Lee! Just for being my friend and being in my life. I shouldn't complain to you. But you are such a dear person to me and I feel that you understand me. Your letters became part of my life and I appreciate so much your support. It is not so easy for me to trust anyone. Once I was betrayed with a very close person and it hurted me so much. I was in love but he cheated to me and has been noticed with other woman. It was so painful. He some times came to me, and apologized, but to me it was very difficult, to forgive its deceit. And yesterday again in a year, he arrived to my clinic with a bouquet of flowers and with the request to forgive him. He told me that ready to give me good life if I marry him again, but I told him that I am not after money and that does not for me to return to him, and I don't have feelings for him more. Then I told him to leave clinic, or I will leave it by myself, I have told to him, that I have the man to which posesses my heart (I meant you and I hope that you not against my words) after this I have seen tears on his face and he told me that he will wait nevertheless for my consent. I asked him to leave, and he left. Lee, I want you to know that I was always honest with you, I have nothing to hide,so I write to you about everything what happend, I trust you completely and you more and more to win my heart Lee Ok it events is already in the past. And we should live with the present. Especially now :) We have the letters only but I hope that We can trust each other. We know more about each other!! And I like so much what I see and know. You are a great person Lee and you are the best what I have in my life now. And I feel that I can trust you and hope you will not lie to me... Well, Lee I'm sorry but I have to go, I hope this my letter will help you to know more about me. Though frankly speaking it seems to me it does not matter what your interests, there are so many things you can do and enjoy doing them, but the most important thing is that you can share the things you really enjoy with the person who will enjoy them also just because he enjoys everything sharing together with you. Do you agree with my opinion Lee? Tell me more about your hopes and Ideas on me, ok?

I wrote poem today,

At nights to miss you
I do not wanna,
Just under the moon to drop
To your shoulder,
Your eyes,so kind,
In a star hour,
The nightingale will sing there
Only for us,
Wind will gently play
With hair,
Smell of blossom flowers intoxicate
Us,
To be kept with your strong
Hands
Feel plesure catched
In clouds.
With hot kiss
Just call me your
Dream...

I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Have a good day.
Kiss you!!!
Yours Nadya.

Letter 41

Hello, my dear!!! It's me Nadya! I hope you still remember me! :) i very sorry for silence! And I am very happy, that I can write to you the letter now! There were many events here, and I am afraid, that I can not write to you about all in this letter, I only want to receive your answer, as soon as possible! My dear, in our clinic There were problems with posting. An internal fire, and it has been closed for repair... Because of it I could not use a computer.. I have not had time to inform you about it.. Only yesterday all was is restored, and we again have an electricity.. And Now I again have access to the Internet, and I am very happy that I can to correspond now with you! To me it was very bad without you! And I am really very happy, that we can continue our correspondence! I hope you can forgive to me my absence! Unfortunately I cannot read your letter now at all, I only hasten to inform, that I think of you, and I shall write to you more full letter, later.. Otherwise I shall have problems if the boss will see out me here at this time:) Oh , hope you had a very blessed Thanksgiving... :) but we do not celebrate thanksgiving here.
So I was on training all these days Well, I shall finish the letter!
I shall look forward to hearing from you very much!!
with love, your Nadya.

Letter 42

Hi, my far, but so dear Lee! Many thanks for your letter!
I am so glad to receive your letter. And I am really very glad that I have found you Lee!
I have to tell you that I have an ocean of emotions which I had no in my heart before! So my heart tells me that I have to answer by sincerity to your constant sincerity. I have to tell what I feel now because it is a part of our relations and I MUST share it with you Lee! I should tell that it was required much time to write and think about this letter because I wanted to find the right words to you to not offend or upset you in anyway, and it really bothered me. I normally speak directly from my heart, and I do so right now too but sometimes, words must be carefully chosen. I feel somewhat lost if I have no opportunity to use a computer to read your letter. In my soul, I feel the joy when I think of you Lee! I have never done this in my life, to begin a relationship halfway across the world and I had to learn much about you to proceed, but I am more than willing to learn whatever it takes to succeed if that is your desire as well! I also believe that couples should be the best friends if it is possible because trust and sharing with each other everything that they feel is the most basic thing of truerelations. I do not know if my words and thoughts make sense to you but I have tried very hard to put them in normal words that you will feel it and understand me clearly! I believe in God and I believe that I have been put through trials to prepare me for the meeting a man with whom I will spend the rest of my life to love him, to better appreciate him, to respect him and to cherish the love that he would give! And the only thing that he would ask me is to return the same to him. I hope that my words and letters are not boring to you Lee but they are much more than usual words! It is my thoughts and feelings, and I send it to you Lee! I desire you very much to find it in your heart too and to share your personal feelings with me too. I wish to know you on a more intimate level. I would like you to share your dreams, your hopes, your feelings from the heart with me! I truly wish to communicate with you on a level that takes a way beyond just a friendship. Please do not think me foolish for a thinking these things Lee! I believe that we have to be honest and that is what I am trying to be with you. Could you close your eyes for just a minute and think and dream of what a life we could share together. What it would be like, the joy of learning each other more and more. I really believe that dreams could come true for people which are dare to believe in dreams and it could become in reality! May be you are shocked that I feel this way, but here, where I was grown up, the gift of true love from a man is something like a mirage or self-deception. And It could be more real than a mutual feeling which two close people can give each other. I hope that I am not rambling on with my words. I have so much that I wish to share with you, and each time I write to you, I feel there is never enough time to say everything that I want to say and I always feel that I have forgotten something important to say to you Lee! When I speak of you and I think of you, it does not matter for me what anyone else thinks. Lee I want to tell that you are very beautiful for me. I speak of the beauty that is within you, a beauty of your inner world and that is why this particular type of beauty is very special and rare in our world. Most men have only appearances but have not a beauty inside but this is where the true beauty is! For me it is the most important thing of your character and soul. You speak to me with so much kindness and care. It express the beauty which is within you. I think that you are truly very handsome, the essence of what beauty should be and there is nothing that anyone could say to me that would makes me to change my mind. I want to reduce all my letter only to one thought. I do not know if I could clearly explain all my thoughts and feelings, which overflow me now. I want to tell that I feel so as we become very good friends and I really enjoy our friendship. I want to learn you more and I hope that you suppose that our relations can develop more than it enough for a simple friendship. It is the way I feel. As always I hope that my letter finds you in a good health and spirits, and I hope that yours wishes will come true one day! I will look forward to your reply as always with great impatience. I don't know what I will be doing after tomorrow but I know for sure that I will write you Lee no matter what it will be here.
With great tenderness, your Nadya.

Letter 43

Hi Lee, I am so happy to get your letter! How are you doing my darling? :) I feel so happy when get your letter Lee, when I walking here, open my e-mail box and see it here :) Lee your lovely words and letters drive me mad :) Our dialogue is a energy source for me. I often begin to imagine - what you do right now, where are you right now, or with whom you are right now... There is a lot of kilometers, some hours between us, but I always think that maybe right now you as well think: "What does Nadya, where she is?". And maybe we think of the same things at the same time. I like to think of it. Dmitriy always asks about you, how are you. Frankly speaking, I do not hide, that I have found such a wonderful friend, and nobody is surprised that my friend lives in other country. Everybody only are glad. Everyone understand that such relations means greater mutual understanding, greater interest, greater respect. And I am sure that it is really so. Nobody here is surprised if the woman searches for not Russian man. I think the cultural distinction is a wonderful thing. I don't understand Russian men and their culture of dialogue with woman. They are not able to appreciate woman's feelings, her fidelity, love. They do not appreciate sincerity and aspiration of woman to do for a man absolutely everything, wishing to get from him only the love, respect and fidelity. I do not want to speak about bad and sad things. Mmm.. Lee, can you believe, right now into cabinet of medical analyses has come the boss of mine and has told that even if I have a free time I should sit in my cabinet but not in the laboratory. Of course he is not right in the given situation because I work very tensely and I do my work with the maximal concentration and attentiveness. And each doctor or the nurse here deserve many kind words of gratitude, but nobody heard such words from our boss, never. And I think I have right to spend my free minutes in any way I want to do it. And earlier I did not pay attention to his words. But today, right now, when he has told it, I have felt a shame, and it made me blush! And I don't know why! Probably you have again woken inside me those inherent to any woman emotional characteristics, which once upon a time I have hidden in the depth of my soul. Are you a shy man, Lee? What make you redden, Lee? :) What makes you mad? Are you Lee able to be at quarrel for a long time, or you try to settle disagreement at once?
Well Lee I have to finish on today, for the present the boss has not made to me the repeated remark:)
However I shall add new poem for you my prince:

What should we make to be happy,
And what have we already made ?
We foot long way,
Of separation and cold nights...
Where is that day ?
Which is around us this candels lights...
Embraces and kisses,
Are missed...
Everything is possible,
Sunset wull cover us,
With gentle warm ...

I will look forward your letter.
With tenderness and with thoughts of you.
Nadya.

Letter 44

Hello my dear Lee! I am so happy to hear from you, how are you doing there? I am very well, yesterday has been exempted from work earlier. I spent time reading, walking, cooking :) To me came brother Dmitry with the son after walk. Oh my prince, apple pie I cooked yesterday was great! Dmitry took the half home to have breakfast with tomorrow. Was very fun situation, Dmitry went to cut his hair and when he come for supper the most part of his hair has not been cut and other part was cut very short! We laugh with Olga and Dmitry was not able to understand what happened :) you know, it seems like that those hair cutter was not able to done his work with right way because of holidays, may be drinking too much or just was too tired :)) Well, you know, I can cut hair very good and did it with Dmitry's hair, he is handsome now and glad to me. May be someday I will cut your hair also :)) Time goes so speedy, in the street already winter in most force . Special mood this days, full of thoughts about future, romanticism, love... The world is really big place Lee, I am very curious about us my dear, two people from different countries, who speak in different languages find each other, have so much in common.... Very interesting situation. I think that it is very important not just live, it is very important to feel, to feel every instance, when you understand that day have not just passed, when it brought something new ! In my mind nothing in this world just happened only because of us, I think that destiny is real and give us way, way we need, way which is important for us. I know you are so far, but why? Why you were born there Lee? Not here in Strezhevoy or Nizhnevartovsk? Because if you were born here and live may be on the closest street, may be we will never meet each other ? But you were born so far, and we are already together, in our hearts, in our souls. If I look in my past I would like to say that I have never met man who is so carry and kind as you. You really brought happiness and very good feeling to me, I am sure that this feeling similar is love, it is not just called "love", sometimes people pronounce this world as other words and do not put anything special, just say "I love you" but does seems it true feeling? You know, when you have feelings, words are not necessary sometimes, what are words ? What are true feelings? Words are material things and are able to destroy anything, but are they necessary when you fall in love? When people come to me at work and ask to marry... What are they waiting from me? That I tell them yes? They feel that I am carry doctor and always give them the advice, help, I speak with them when I am really interested in them as doctor. It happened 4 times for these days.... They just see my beauty and words which every doctor should speak say... Do they see the beauty of my soul? Lee, we have never met in person, but you are the one man in the this world who understand me completely, who feel beauty of my soul, who carry for me. What can I say. My heart belongs to you, and I think that my life belongs to you, you are my soulmate, to share my life with, and I think I am fall in love with you. I can get no sleep this days, my heart beat so speedy, and wrote this poem today at night :

I see you in my dreams,
I feel you are with me,
Do I need more?
What do you think?
May be just take off everything
And feel you are in person,
Are you ready to give me the rose of love?
Flower which is blossom forever,
Which is shining in the darkness,
And promt the way...
The way full of love and happiness

It is a pity, that i cannot continue my letter...
I shall wait your answer..
With kisses ...
Your Nadya.
PS I made for you pictures these days..
I hope you like it :)

Letter 45

Hello my dear Lee,
I want to ask you how are you today? I am well! Today is snow weather here, but warm. How is the weather there? My days are full thoughts about you, In this colds season my feelings are flying as birds, I wish to see you very much. I hope it will come once. Winter is the time of dark days, but my days are bright because our relation brings alot of yellow color and light. I hope this winter, all our dreams come true. Oh my darling, I wanna to take vocation so badly, If I could spend just hour of my vocation with you, I will be the happiest lady in the world :)) If I spend more, it will be the greatest thing ever happend in my life :)) If you kiss me so nice, You feel that I am not just simple lady, I am a SWEET ONE :)) Today I really haven't opportunity to write much. Please forgive me Lee. But I have enough time to tell to you that I thought of you and waited when I will get opportunity to write you. And I have time to tell the main thing. I do not know why, but today I have woken up earlier than usually. I could not fall asleep again. I simply sat near window and looked at the sky. The sky was dark, but incredibly beautiful. I looked and thought that you now somewhere there, far. I have thought maybe you sleep and see me in your dream. And I have thought that if I could become a small cloud, I would fly over the ocean, only to be scattered onto small beautiful crystal raindrops above your house, with the only one purpose - to peek into your window, even if only for one instant and to whisper: "Good night Lee!" And in the morning when you would wake up and would look at street you at once would understand that this night Nadya was there, near to your window; it is she protected your night rest, and has sent to you sweet-dreams... You would understand that it was she who has left for you this small part of her soul,- fleeting reminder - some fine crystal-clear raindrops sparkling on the glass of your window... And at this moment millions of beautiful crystal snowflakes began to fall from the sky, millions of amazing snowflakes have filled all around, falling onto my window. It was incredibly beautiful, as if the sky has heard my thoughts. And I have thought, if today you will see a small snowflakes in the street; or some drops of water at your window, know, that it was my feelings I have sent to you... Oh, I have recollected one story, It was about 20 years ago, we walked with Elena and seen rainbow, It was so bright and beautiful and it took start close to us, It was about 10 meters from us!!! We run into rainbow!!! We stayed there, it was so unbeliveable!!! It was around us, we were full of rainbow, wow, it was great !!! Why people write in books that it is not real to see where is rainbow take start ? :) It is true story happened with us and I want you to know about it Lee. :)
Forgive me, but I should go to patients.
Relatives is very well. They always ask about you!
Says Hi to you and send you all best regards!!
I want to send you my hot kiss Lee if you do not mind.
Poem for you my dear Lee

Dream of you at night,
See us together in my dreams,
Walking on the beach early morning,
Hearing waves of beautiful rivers,
Under stars in the evening,
Kissing each other all the time :)
Where are we now ? Why so far ?
Oh my god,let us to be together !

Write to me soon
With love...
Your Nadya.

Letter 46

My dear Lee, I am very glad to get your letter, How are you doing ? I think of you all the time Lee..
I had very good working day, 9 patienst, Today is a little cool here , and I need you to embrace me...Where are you my dear Lee? :)
How is the weather in your area?
Yesterday My brother with the wife leaved for work trip. I and Olga spend time with Dmitry's children, we were in museum of "samovar" do you know what is samovar? Have you ever heard about it before? It is Russian old teapot. There were hundreds of samovar, do you know that in Russia samovar from 17th century? There are so beautiful, some of them were produced with silver, they have little stamps of medal, that means Russian tzar or his closest people had tear from samovar. Also many other Subjects of olden time. Exhibition was very interesting, Well, everything is fine here and my family also, in expecting day of acquaintance to you :) also has received the letter from Elena is very happy in Australia. I have received from her the letter. I wrote to her about you Lee, and about desire to meet you! she invites us on a visit:) And may be someday we could To meet them, it would be great. About your question of visiting of you. There is such opinion, that the meeting is better than 1000 letters. I certainly agree with it, and you? but, It will be very serious step, And to some extent even risk. But in our country we have is a saying "Who does not risk, does not drink champagne". And I think, that all our life to some extent, risk. And people always face with choice. And I am ready to make this choice. Not looking, that we are familiar not so long ago and only under letters. And still, time goes as the fast river. And likely it is necessary to appreciate every minutes and the chance which gives us a life. I can learn, how I can visit you. How to you these sounds? You are in my mind all the time, Lee I had dream last night... It was underfur dream and we were together with you... It was sunny day and I walked on the street, the area was not of my native city, there were many people on the street, I tryed to see someone I know. But without any success, than I walked and felt very light touch on my hand, it was very warm and native... It was like the touch of warm sun when it put it's light on ice... The touch was unbelievable... I understood it was your touch... then I seen you... you stayed close to me, I run into your embraces and you kissed me so sweet, I felt the taste of your lips, it was taste of the most sweet thing I have ever tryed.... You kept little box in your hands, I asked you, what is it? You told me, there is a little white bird, You opened this box and it fly to my hand, I up my hand and it was siting there. You told me, this bird will fly around the world and when you see it in real life that means that we will be together very soon, you just need to see it there. Then little bird fly to the sky and with millions of lights begun very beautiful rain, it was very warm, we stayed under the rain and kiss each other so long and slowly, when I looked around, there were no people! Only we are together, then you take my hand and told me you are going to prompt me to the world of love... Then there were many tears of happiness on my face, I was so easy crying because I felt that we are together and that you will never let me go! Then I got up and it was morning, my pillow was wet because of tears, tears of happiness. Now I am looking forward to see that small bird and want my tears to be tears of happiness, But not because of separation, Lee do you think that story could have place in real life and when I see this little white bird that means we will be together soon? I hope yes Lee. :)

Where is my dream,
Wich come true at night and make
Me crying,
Wich make me crying with
Tears of happiness,
Where is that man,
Who drive me mad ,
Who won my heart,
Who won my heart and need to keep it in safe,
Little white bird will fly to my window,
It will fly and tell me that we will be together...
It will make our dreams coming true,
It will make our kisses and embraces real...

With love and kisses
Your Nadya.

Letter 47

My dear Lee, I was very very glad to receive your letter today! How is the weather? We have cold days here, but some snow these days! 6 patients visited me today, but have not kept me busy at all, we had tea with an other doctors few times, do you know what does it sounds in Russian: "Goniat' chai" (to have tea). On work now know that I communicate with you and colleagues send the best regards for you !:) Yesterday dropped a lot snow here, I walked home and snow falled down on my hair, I seldom take cap, sometimes I like when it is snow and I am walking from work... When I walked, there were no people on the streets, I am only with my thoughts, I so little white dog today, it was in a snow too, it walked with me before I come to my entrance in the house, I would like to be back and food it, but come an other dog and they run together somewhere Lee :) it was very fun! I came home a little tired and took a shower, then had hot tea with a lemon... Oh my dearest Lee, would you like to take a shower together, or just tea :)) ? Lee, I want you to know that you are in my thoughts all the time, when I tryed to get sleep at night I spend time thinking about you and you are missed so much. I thought about day when we are probably together, when sunrise comes in the morning with it's light and put smiles on our faces, we are having breakfast in the bed and leave house for a walk... We are walking and cool wind wave my hair, you keep my hand with your hand and I am looking into your eyes, you are so kind and I enjoy listening yours lovely words all the time, it brings alot of pleasure to me, We are walking with you, we are together, red rose or tulips is in my hands and you are embracing me, so gently, we spend long hours walking in the park and that there is no more important for me, as to be with you my prince. This is what I feel, I trust you and I want you to know about everything. What have you done to me ? Tell me my dearest :) I think that you are the best gift from destiny I have ever get, you are so kind and honest, this is everything I wish to be in my life. only this thousands of miles separations put tear on my face at night... It is too late, laboratory should be closed , and I need to go Lee.
I shall very wait for your letter .
With hot kisses,
Nadya.

Letter 48

Hi Lee! You do not represent as I is happy to speak again with you! I was very glad to receive your letter today! I hope that we shall not be lost again never:) I am sincerely glad to receive your letter. And I am very glad that I have had an opportunity to write you because I want to tell you today so much. I want to share with you today so many things. Lee, I always was sincere with you and I want to be sincere now because from the very beginning we built our friendship on the sincerity and openness. It is difficult to write about it because those emotions that now I try to transform into words are new for me, and for the first time in my life I try to explain things that I feel for the first time in my life. And I feel that I should be very exact and accurate in my words. I understand that at such moment is necessary to think over each word because even though I simply want to tell the truth, even though I simply want to tell sincerely everything what now is in my soul, I understand that the truth and sincerity can sometimes offend the person, bring disappointment. And I want you to understand all my thoughts correctly because I do not want to offend you or to put you by my words into awkward position. Lee, you are very dear to me, and I do not want to lose those relations that we have, because these relations are important for me. And all main emotions that often visit my heart, - pleasure and even happiness, disappointment and sadness, now depend only on one thing - presence of your letter. I for the first time in my life tried to start relationship with a man who so far away from me, relations where thoughts and feelings of each other take the main place as these are the only things that unite us together. And it is a best opportunity to become first of all friends, best friends,- with the open hearts, ready sincerely to share with each other all feelings and emotions. I try all this for the first time in my life and I do not know what waits for me and you in the future, but I would be happy to have relationship with you, friendly and more, regardless of the fact what waits for each of us in the future. And I would be happy if you have such desire as well. And even though I for the first time in my life try to start such relationship, I already thank God for what I feel right now. It is very valuable for me and I believe that all that was in my life,- all ups and downs, all tests and losses are the way where God has put me to learn to appreciate life and to be wise, to learn to make decisions and to make a correct choice when the time of a choice will come. I believe that I had to pass through this way,- to be ready to meet a man who will become my soul and heart, with whom I will build the small world of love and tenderness, giving to him all my care, fidelity and infinite respect; with whom I will be up to death because he will give me the most important things in a life - the sincere love and care, These are an only things most important for me. And I am sure that these are things you appreciate as well. The beauty and external attractiveness are main thing for many people, but my life has shown me that the main thing in the person - internal beauty, beauty of his soul and heart. Not a lot of people really possess internal beauty and not a lot of people really understands that it is most important and most unique quality,- quality helping to believe in a miracles and in a fairy tales, quality that makes people sincere and kind. This is what I was looking for in a man, it is what I put at the first place, it is a feature that could open my heart. And I want to tell Lee, that you are beautiful man, beautiful first of all as must be beautiful everyone true man. I speak first of all about beauty of your soul and heart. You are beautiful for me and that is why I already now thank Destiny that I has come to this crossroads of a life where I have met you. Here people forgot about many important things, and words "love" and "fidelity" here have lost sense, became simply words. I am not sure if you understand everything I try to tell, but I hope that my words do not offend you in any way. My words are not simply words, it is a part of my soul that I open to you because I feel that I can and I want to do it. And I hope you feel in the same way. And I really wish to develop our relations, to go further, to learn each other at a new level, where friendship is only the first step. I want to go on the way that will not be limited only to friendship. I see new horizons, and I feel that I want to try to promote our relation further than it enough to be simple friends. And I hope my words do not disappoint you because I always wanted to be sincere with you and I think that sincerity is a best thing. Lee could you ever relax your eyelids, allow your eyes to close, and to imagine a life we could share? I really dare to dream and imagine us together as man and woman,- people that can brighten a life of each other, fill life with sense and variety, with aspiration to learn each other more and more. And I think everyone should believe in dreams; everyone should believe that dreams can really come true! I know that I can lose you at any moment. I thought of us and I wanted to tell you everything I think; so that you know that I feel we becomes very good friends and our relations make me happy. I wanted to tell you everything what I think, so that you know that you are dear for me. And even the one day without you, without your letter is equivalent to eternity, therefore I even cannot imagine months without you at all... And I hope that our relations are important for you just as for me. I dare to hope, that you at least allow itself to think, that our relations can be promoted further than simply friendship.
I hope now you have really smile now!
This poem I wrote for you my darling :

You are present from my destiny,
Could I ask life more ?
You are my wish and dream,
Could I wish and dream about anything more ?
You are my love,
Is love we are looking for, if we already have ?
We just need to keep it,
It grow all the time and my heart beats
So speedy when I think of you,

Looking forward to be with you this night
In my dreams :)
I will wait for your answer Lee.
I hope I have not offended you.
Your Nadya.

Letter 49

Lee, today I write to you with special worry but as well with pleasure and hope. I really hope that everything that I will tell you today will make you happy. Last time when I wrote you my honest letter I had the big sadness in my heart, and even though I tried to not show it, I think you have noticed it. Lee, I was sad because the boss informed me that approximately in three weeks the dentist cabinet will be closed for full re-equipment and repair. And when he have told me it, I thought my heart will stop, because when it will take place, I will not be able to communicate with you again for months! And it has brought infinite sadness into my heart. But after my boss informed me about close of the cabinet, the accounting department informed me that approximately in three weeks I will get my vacation! When I thought that I can lose you for some months, inside my soul I at once have felt that I can't simply accept it. And I have felt that together with sadness in my heart has appeared an other feeling - feeling of confidence, desire to make new steps instead of simply waiting for something. I have understood that our relations are important for me much more than I thought. And it so wonderfully. But a thought that I will not be able to communicate with you, to receive your letters and to write mine,- all these thoughts has brought a pain to me, pain that I can't endure. I talked with Olga and she asked me what I think to do. And when she has asked me it, I have understood that inside my soul I already know the answer to this question. And I have told that I do not want to spend such a long-awaited vacation in loneliness. I can't accept a thought that I will not talk to you Lee during of month or two. And I have told that I want to meet you Lee! I have told her that I want to spend my vacation with you Lee! I can come to you, and we can spend time together if you want. And first I was afraid that if I will tell you about it in the letter, you will write me that you do not want to see me or can not meet me. And it would hurt my heart. But Olga have told, that you Lee and I are such a good friends, our relations are built on sincerity, therefore you will be happy to spend time with me. And I really think that it would be delightfully. So, what you will say, Lee, if I will offer you a meeting? Would you be happy to see me and to spend with me some time? I cannot imagine at all how it would be wonderful. You would show me your life, we would learn each other in a real life. We would look into the eyes of each other, we could hold our hands, tell each other silly stories, laugh and tease each other, watch the stars in the night sky and have romantic evening, go to the movie or we could simply sit on a bench in the park, and who knows what else we could do together... I would be happy to do all this together with you, instead of again be lonely without you and our friendship. I simply want to meet you. I have found out all I need to do to come to your country. I already have the passport. And I will avoid usual procedure of visa's approval. Being a doctor, I can ask the visa on behalf of our Ministry of Health, because if the applicant have good official support from official bodies, if the applicant have official recommendations and directions to various sorts of conference, seminars, - it will relieve of necessity to wait for some months the decision of the commission, and will remove all problems connected with necessity to prove that the purpose of travel is not emigration. Just "not emigration", differently they will not approve visa 100 percent. But as soon as I shall be in your country, there will be an opportunity, at desire, to prolong the visa and even to receive citizenship.. Being the doctor I will have support and guarantees from Ministry of Health of Russian Federation, and it is certainly the best guarantor. Of course I must visit improbable quantity of the departments, to collect improbable quantity of documents, to find as many as possibly of other official legal persons, institutions and people for support; to get petitions. But if I will quickly collect all necessary documents, I will get the visa in two or three weeks! So there will be only one complexity. I know that in any way I have to go through an interview in an embassy of your country here and there is always a queue for several weeks. I have received the answer from Elena. She has written that there are organization now in Russia that can help to organise interview quicker than usual. So I have filed an application for the visa, Lee, with happiness and with hope that you will be happy to spend some days with me! I do not ask you about anything. I will use my monetary savings and I will make everything by self. It is my vacation and I will not be a burden. Would you be happy to spend some days with me soon, Lee? Anyway, we must meet. It is possible to wait eternally. But I believe that I will get my vacation not accidentally; and I believe that the medical cabinet will be closed at the same time not accidentally as well. It is not coincidence! It is time to make a choice, to make the decision, to take new step. Maybe such opportunity will not be repeated again. I so long waited my vacation and I want my vacation to be especial. What can be better than a meeting of two friends? The first meeting. It is simply delightful and I thank destiny that I have got such an opportunity, - an opportunity to meet my dear friend, the opportunity to learn each other in real life, the opportunity to enjoy time which we can spend together. And I believe that it can become the beginning of something new in our lifes and in our relations. And I am really happy to get a vacation because it is time which I can spend in any way I want, and I want to spend this vacation with you Lee! So what will you tell? Would you like to spend time with me? Would you be glad to meet me? Would you be happy to have the first meeting at your airport?
I will wait for your answer with pleasure.
With Love
Sincere Your Nadya.
PS: I have found for you some pic from last vacation in Turkey, I had a rest with Elena. She photographed me. I hope you like it:)

Letter 50

Hi my Leev! I waited for your letter with fear and with pleasure at the same time! And I am very happy to receive your letter! I am ready to jump and dance, laugh and sing songs! And the reason - you Leev! Thank you for your letter and your thoughts. I am so happy that we will meet. Now I have the ocean of emotions and I at all do not know what to say. I am worried very much. I very much hope that we can perfectly spend time together. I only am afraid, that if we will meet, I will asks so many questions and to chatter unceasingly, that you soon will escape from me. I get my vacation once a year. My vacation will begin approximately in two-three weeks. At this time I can arrive to you. But unfortunately the schedule of my vacation is not flexible. Therefore I hope you will be glad to meet me at this time. So, I can stop in your house? Or I should search for hotel? I want with you, certainly:) If you have not enough time, I will be happy all the same. I will be happy in any case. It is better to wait when you will come from work, than to sit in my apartment and to know that nobody will come!!! Duration of my vacation is 34 workdays. But quantity of days which I can spent with you depends on when I will get my vacation and when I will order the ticket. However my visa will be valid 90 days. But I hope you don't let me go back:) How many days you want to be with me? I have submitted the visa application. It will take about two weeks I think. Complexity of approval of the visa will be reduced to a minimum as I will have petitions and characteristics from a work place, from respected organizations and legal persons; guarantee documents and a various sort of the information and inquiry, which will give to commissions the confidence, that my intentions is not emigration. I will get the petition and a testimonial from Ministry of Health of Russian Federation! It is a respected structure and any person working in the field of medicine is under care of the Ministry. Except of that I will pay for preparation for interview with the commission. Every day I think - what my friend Leev will tell me today, what mood he will have today? And as soon as I get free minute, I rush to analyses's cabinet to find out if you have written to me or not. And when I receive your letter, I start to smile from ear to ear anticipating the best time of my day - time when I read your letter and when I write to you the all my thoughts. These are the most important minutes of my day. And these minutes I don't hear anything and I don't see anything except of lines and paragraphs which in my mind will be transformed into small movie, movie about you, my dear Leev. And you cannot imagine at all how it wonderfully! Sometimes I think, what would be if I have not found the boldness in myself to write you? What would be if I didn't believe that I can find a man in such a way? I always want to think that I the courageous woman, but I feel that actually it is not so. I am ready to give my life for the sake of person who are close and dear for me, I am ready to donate my well-being for the sake of well-being of other person but when I think of myself, I often become timid and all my boldness disperses like the fire's smoke. I am often afraid to make something, to take some step simply because of fear that it will be an incorrect step. I am often afraid to ask people about anything simply because of fear to get the negative answer. Not always, but it happens. What would happen, if you have not answered my first letter? Nothing would happen! And grey monotonous days again would lie on a way of my life by infinite impenetrable veil. Do you want to know what I did today? First off, I should tell that I slept with a smile on my face! At least when I have woken up and have looked at the mirror, I have noticed that I smile! Then, I cleaned a teeth and I had smile! Then, I jog and I smiled as if actually I watched funny movie. Then, I have cooked a breakfast and drank a coffee with a smile on my face! Then, I have come to clinic, and I could not hide my smile. I was ready to laugh and I at all had no desire to work! It is a very bad symptom for the doctor! :) Everything around have seemed to me a beautiful and wonderful. And even the severe boss, when have seen that I look at him and I smile, he began to survey himself attentively and even have come near to the mirror to see if anything wrong! He has thought that something wrong with his clothes! All the day I work with smile on my face! Anastasia looks at me and smiles as well. Of course she understands the reason, and it makes her happy as well! And when time of sleep will come, I will lie in my bed with the same smile on my face! And if you till now have not understood why I smile, I will tell you! I smile because I think of you, Leev! And it brings joy! I am so happy that I have in my life such a man as you! Thank you that you are in my life! I have to go. Now I will not have a lot of time after work because after work I will have one more working day!:) You may ask what I mean? The preparation for my trip! You cannot imagine at all how many deals I must do for our meeting! I even have asked the boss to reduce my working day or to allow me to take some hours off in the middle of day to make some things, because after 5pm not all departments works! Of course now I should work in the days off to have more of free time at week-days. But thoughts about our meeting give me force and energy! I am sure that everything will be perfectly! I will wait your letter! Please, write me because I need your letters and support more than ever!
With Love and more Kisses!
Always your Nadya!
PSS: oh, I wanted to tell, that Christmas is so soon and I would like to be with you in this day, this is my some dream :) and the It would be best gift I have ever get, if we were together by Christmas it would be great!

Letter 51

Hi my dear! I wanted to send you this to say Merry Christmas!!!!
I wish I could spend christmas with you. I hope you'll have a very special holiday. I want you to know about our Russian Christmas. It is holiday of orthodox church. We celebrate it here in Russia on January 7, (before 1917 on December 25 in old style) the Christmas is well known as new year celebration, it has rich traditions and symbols here in Russia, which are Christmas wreath (a symbol of light which will come in the world with a birth of the christ), handbells (they are necessary for exile of mlicious spirit), Christmas candles (with their forces of help to take of darkness and cold) also Christmas cards. We make Christmas gifts here in Russia sweets, different presents, also it is necessary to visit relatives and closest people. It is their holiday. unfortunately, one of the main traditions of Christmas - (in Russian kolyadki) , becomes very rare, but anyway it is possible to meet (as usual in the countryside) kiddies singing the christmas hymn which is the sing of the birth the christ, getting some sweets for it. Well, now you know little more about Russian Christmas. And today, I shall celebrate it with you, in my ideas! The beginning of working week is already here winter bell to Russia and brought snow, everything is white and I am lonely lady in white walking here to check if anything from my soulmate ) Well, how are you doing my Lee What are your plans this Christmas You know, may be we will go to play snow balls with Dmitry's kids ) Just joking ) my mood is very fine, oh my dear, christmas is so soon, New Year..the greatest holidays, how I wish us to be together Lee. We could walk and play snow balls together ! ) Well, I had very good working day, 11 patients. we had tea with other doctors and all they have special plans for holidays, someone is going to countryside, someone to celebrate it at home, but I have not told to anybody about our plans, just catched silence ! I want to celebrate it with you, but you still far (

Poem for you my Lee

Hearing your steps behind the door...
Just trying to get up...
To get up and run there,
To open it and fall in your embrances...
I tryed to get up,
But there were silence...
Nothing more...
Just empty snow fall down...
On my hair...
Making my tears frozen...
Where should I go
Staying alone under the white moon...
Looking for you...

I kiss you and I miss you )
Merry Christmas!!!!
Your lady Nadya
PS:I have ordered this picture for you to Christmas. I hope you like it:)

Letter 52

Hi My Lee! Thank you for your letter. You became the most dazzling moment of my day! I just now spent Olga in clinic. We had tea, And dialogue only about us Lee :) How I wish you saw how Olga is happy that we will meet! She is sure that our meeting will make us happy. It is simply impossible to talk to her now! :). She has now only one theme for conversation - you Lee! She constantly asks about you, asks - what I will do together with you, she asks - what I will do at the airport, she asks - what I will cook for you. She asks how I am going to impress you, to intrigue! She even asks how I will tempt you! :)) . She say that I do everything correctly and I should not be afraid of anything at all. To conquer the road can only one who goes on this road. Olga is very glad that I have found you, and she sends you her friendly greetings and a wishes of happy expectation of me! :) . Probably I the most successful woman on our planet because I have found a kindest and gentle man who is capable to make so that my heart have been overflow with feelings and my soul aspires to cross space and ocean and to rush into his life, to be united in a single whole with his soul. My dear! I am not sure that I can arrive exactly, in two weeks, maybe I will arrive a little later, because it is an approximate time of beginning of my vacation and it can change. You will wait for me all the same? Please, don't be angry with me if I cannot write you much now. I hope you understand that I even after my working day in clinic must do too much for our meeting. Today I will go to Ministry of Health. I think this is one of the most important deals for me right now. I will give them the all my medical documents and tomorrow I will probably get all documents and forms of petitions which I must fill out as soon as possible. Then I will go to Army Garrison where were working my father. They must collect for me all the information about my father, about history of the death of my father. I must have data about work of my father not only in this Army Garrison, but also in all others Garrisons where my father worked during all life. To make it extremely difficultly, if to take into account that my father worked in Army Garrisons in various points of our huge country. But I am sure that I will get the information because here many officers who remember my father, and I hope they will be glad to help me. Lee, today I feel that I start to worry more than I even could imagine. I am very glad that I do all this. And I think of our meeting every minute. The meeting at the airport... I don't think that many people on our planet have an opportunity to enjoy such a delightful moment - the moment of the first meeting at the airport. It is so beautiful. I feel that it will be very touching moment for each of us. I never travelled so far away. And I worry very much. But I imagine us together and it calms me down. I see us together, I see us walking in the park; I see us speaking about serious and about silly things, or playing cards or a checkers (and the one who lose will execute any desire of the winner :)), I see wonderful dinners at home and outside! I see you sitting on a sofa with a juicy peach in your hand and I see me dancing in front of you beautiful dance, or maybe even erotic dance :) , how about Belly dance? :) . I do it stunningly!:) . I see us swimming; I see us on a roof of a house, watching the full moon; I see us fighting by pillows; I see us in the evening at home, with romantic light of candles; I see us cooking together russian pel'menis and yours pizzas :) I see me in your embraces. All this waits for us in the near future; and I enjoy, anticipating this delightful time together! Do you feel the same, Lee? Oh, Lee, would you like to give me massage of my back? I would like to give you massage! But I must warn you, that if you want to give me massage, you should not touch my ribs! :) The reason - I the most ticklish woman in Russia :) . Lee, I madly am afraid of titillation! If someone tickles my foot or ribs, I begin to laugh loudly, to kick and to scratch, to squeal and to jump! Therefore if you will give me massage and you will tickle me, you will feel like a cowboy on a wild undomesticated mare on the rodeo! :) . By the way, Lee, are you ticklish? Do you snore? (Forgive me for this question. Do not answer, if you do not want. Maybe one day I will find out all this all the same! :) ). Will you sing serenades for me? I would be happy if you would sing serenades and songs for me! I would remunerate you by kisses! :) . Lee, I should finish the letter. I must do much so that you had an opportunity to give me massage and to get the massage from me! :) . Please, write me because now I need you and your letters very very strongly, because I worry so much...
All my love, Nadya.
PS. You like my new pics for you:)

Letter 53

My dear, Today was the last working day of 2007 year. And unfortunately I have only a few minutes to write to you some lines, laboratory in which I use a computer is closed now. Celebrations is so soon! Oh, it is the greatest holiday here in Russia! I had 4 patients. You know one of my patients who was very depressed feel Better. he had nobody to celebrate new year with, but just yesterday he met woman and they are going to be together on holidays, and they visited me together, to congratulate me. It was very pleasant. I wish them good luck. You know,I got many presents today. About 20 people come to clinic during the day, all they were my patients in the past and everyone brought present. I am not able to bring all this presents home, so tomorrow brother are going to do it. He will have to ask his boss to drive to my work because it is not possible to transport presents without car. Well, tomorrow we are going to celebrate it at brother's apartment as they are the biggest. Olga also is going to arrive there. I am will meet new year with thoughts of you and when kuranty (Chiming clock) in Moscow will bell 00:00 after congratulations our Russian president Vladimir Putin, we will have little champagne. Tomorrow, I shall visit church... And I shall pray, what the next year to not be lonely ;) Unfortunately I should finish the letter now, Me ask to exempt laboratory. and I shall be the letter to you fuller letter, now only in following year :) is January 3-4 because the clinic will be closed these days.

New year poem for you my prince :

When you are hearing the bell of clock,
You know, that someone thousands miles away,
Hearing the same...
When you are thinking of someone who is far,
Know,that you are missed...
New year will come and bring us together,
With bell of clock our hearts beat as the same one...
Tear on my face my love...
Of happiness that we have find each other,
But the reason of tear we are not together...
I need you are with me to take it away...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
With kisses and love
Your Nadya
PS I tried to record for you a New Year's congratulation on photocamera:)
I did not see it, hope you will see

Letter 54

My dear, yes,it is allready 2008 :) I am very glad to write you letter! Oh Dear, You know, we celebrated new year with relatives and friends and I have just arrived.. I marked new year with the family. I have gathered relatives, we were going a lot of any tasty meal, and, on tradition, have sat down a new year's table. Exactly in 12 night we have made a sound of the TV set more loudly, have listened to congratulations of our president and has come the most long-awaited moment!!! In full silence, standing we have heard, as the chiming clock have punched 12 times, each of us has thought of the most secret the desire also began celebrating! Just at that moment when a chiming clock have struck last time, on all our country, in each house with a roar of steel to open bottles of champagne, to ring glasses, to flow like water congratulations and good wishes!!! all of us with noise began to give and to receive gifts from the relatives. As it is a pity, that such holiday only once time in one year. In our country there is no more important holiday, than new year! And I thought of you all the time. I got very nice presents, everything was fine, but you was not with me and this is I dream about more than anything in my life. I do not work this days because it is holidays and have alot of spare time. The clinic has opened only today and I at once have gone to write to you the letter! I spend yesterday with kids on the open air and we played snow balls. We had very good dinner with Friends and they are curious about you and whether we shall meet :). Yes, they take care of me and want I would be happy. You know, I pray to got with hope he is hearing my prayers and will do something to bring us Happiness. I have one more story from my past. When I was little girl I dream about beautiful doll and when we celebrated new year with family I was looking for 00:00 of 31 December because only at this time we got presents under new year tree. Every year I find there everything I dream of. And someday this tradition passed. The time goes to speedy and some things we put attention on just have been lost. When we meet each other we will have own traditions and our special days which will be important for us. What do you think about it ? My dear, I so am grateful for your and interesting letters. I always very much am upset, that have not time to write to you all that, that I want. But unfortunately, I should exempt a computer in laboratory. Also I shall write to you as soon as I shall return to work..
I hope you like some pic from New Year
Unfortunately, I have just found out, that in video there is no sound:(
now to me have told, that it is feature of the photocamera.
Probably I can make with a sound, later..
And poem for you my prince :

Sweet kiss,
Beautiful dream,
One more hope...
With light of candles I met this day,
One more year passed as instance,
Nice feeling...
More plesure instances,
Is that meaning ?
Nothing...
Without your smile...

Happy New Year
With kisses
Your Nadya

Letter 55

Hi my Lee! Thank you for your letter. I am so happy.
Thoughts about you calm my heart. You don't know how all your words are important for me. I know what emotion you write me with, and your emotions caress my heart. And I know hundreds words, that could help me to tell you how you are important, dear and wonderful for me now. And I am so waiting for the day when I will be able to tell you all these words, being face to face - looking into your eyes. I am so waiting for that a moment - when I will see your smile and I will read in your smile all your thoughts and feelings. And now my heart enjoys fine feeling - feelings of awaiting and hope that one day our meeting will come true. And sometimes it is simply impossibly to express by means of only words all shades of joy. How it is difficult sometimes to express in simple combination of words and phrases all the depth and passion of feelings; how it is difficult to express by means of lifeless letters all tenderness, how difficultly to describe the warm wave of feelings which overflows me every day, every minute, every instant - when I am thinking of you Lee! Any words cannot replace a glance and a smile, any words are not able to replace tenderness of touch. Now here it is very cold. Only thoughts of you make me warm. It is January 8 today. We celebrate here "christmas sochelnik" here in Russia, the day before tomorrow wich is christmas here. We have one more sochelnik which is the day before kreshenie (January 18). It calls "kreshenskyi sochelnik". Today russian people could have only "sochevo". It is only boiled meal(rise with honey), where this take start. In Christmas sochelnik this meal only before the first star on the sky. As soon as star shows up,people have supper with sochevo. Actually this night before Christmas according to folklore there are two forces: the force of power and ivel. To which one of this two forces connected man, it made some magic things with this man. One of them make him "kolyadovat" with Christ wish besides holiday table, other connected with devil. If it is snow on sochelnik, that means will be allot of harvest, if it is cold in family will be love and happiness, today is cold do you have any suggestions? You know, it is necessary to wear something new at night before Christmas, if you have no new clothes, just something white. After Christmas we have "sviatki" when you can wear different carnival clothes. Well, tomorrow is Christmas here in Russia, I know it was already there, any way merry Christmas! Lee, I so waited for this opportunity to write you, because I wanted very much to tell you that I has happened something bad, unfortunately. Maybe I shouldn't tell you, but I was so frightened, that I cannot hold it inside. When I come home from work yesterday, the door has been broken and opened. I so strongly was frightened. I at all did not know what to do. I was afraid even to look in apartment. I haven't here even phone, and militia badly works here. Never in my life I was so frightened. However I managed to call militia and asked for help. Thieves stole all valuable things I had: TV, Video recorder, cd player, microwave, clock, paintings were taken from walls, all silvered utensils which I got by succession from prograndmother and parents, some of my gold jeweller, and 11500 roubles(about 420 dollars) I kept at home hardly working. You know, I do not bother that they stole money. there were very important things that kept memories...as you know we lost parents and some things were stolen belonged to them... Documents were with me, so they could not take them. I afraid to remain at home, I feel lost and I do not want to belive that such bad things happens if this World. If you were close I could feel safe, but we are thousand miles away. Now first of all I need now is to fix the door,I do not have opportunity with money for that even, But probably I can solve it.. For now the door is not restored I shall be to live at brother. Well, Lee I want to finish my letter with good thoughts. And I will tell you something good! I want to tell you about my feelings to you, if you know, how speedy beat my heart when I am walking here with hope to get your letter, as child looking forward to getting her birthday present. You gave me hope, you born feelings in my heart, I want you to know that I fall in love with you, and I miss you I fall in love with you, and I fall in love more strong! Be with me in your thoughts. I will think of you, so please, think of me as well. "You are an Angel" - TI ANGEL!
With all my tenderness.
Your Nadya.

Letter 56

Hi my prince Lee!!!! How I am glad to receive your letter. Thank you very much. Your letters is good support these days, it is necessary for me, To me is difficult because of the past events. Now I live in an house of the Dmitriy's while restore door. I must admit Lee, I feel truly comfortably only if I have received your letter. I have got some news, Police has cought 3 men, who stolen everything from my apartment. They are all married and have children. Everything will be returned to my apartment, but little later, I borrowed funds to pay for door and now it is fix. I asked police to let them go and not to write any papers, one of those man asked me to forgive them and cryed. Do you think I make anything wrong? I am get stuff back and I do not want their children to be without father's, yes, these fathers may be not very good, but anyway, I know how it is hard to be without parents. May be every thief shoul be in prison, but I can not allow to myself to put in prison those man which has children I am better now,I see that you are so kind, I am sure that you are able to support me in difficuld situation! I wanna to kiss you right now so you can feel my sweet lips ;) The weather here is so fine! What about your area Lee? How is the weather there now? Oh, Lee at once I want to tell that Besides prowhose I have collected almost all characteristics and petitions from people. Now I will have a meeting with the notary at notary office to legalize all documents. Dmitry was able to agree with municipal department. Now he must get all documents about my family and me. Of course contrary to my expectations not all people are unselfish, but the main thing is that we will get these documents. The rest is not the most important. To me already is appointed consultation- preparation for interview :) Well, you know I live at the brother and I spend some time with Dmitry's children now. Children are our future and we need to put everything we have to make them ready for living. My relatives are very happy, you know they like that we comunicate with you, My brother and girlfriends say to you Hi! Today in dreams I saw my parents. My parents were very good people and Mum always gave me "free of choice" mum told me in the past: "Nadya, it is your life, you can try everything you want, you can find love, just know that I and your The father in heavens want you to be happy" I loved my parents. So sad they are not with us now.
Honey, I should exempt a computer now I think of you all the time, you are in my heart Lee
This poem I wrote for you my darling :

Walking under blue sky,
Waiting for present of god,
Looking at you my love, smiling, kissing,
Smiling :) when I fell your cary hands on my body,
Looking in your yeyes,
Kissing you all the time,
Just let me know when our imaginations come true :)
I am ready to be with you forever

Looking forward to be with you this night In my dreams :)
With Love and Kisses
Your Nadya.

Letter 57

My dear Lee, I am very glad to get you letter this day evening, It is a lot of work this week :) How are you doing my prince? I am very well now, nice working day I had at work, 7 patients. My door were restored, and I have come back in my house. But I on former cannot feel like in safety However I am well because I am thinking of you Lee! And that I felt better in my apartment, after all event here, my family visited me for supper, they are looking forward to moment when we are together with you my prince, they see that it is so hard for me to be far away from you Lee, my soulmate, With desire to share my life with. Today, in our city, there was a lot of snow. It is so beautiful and white here now! I had many reflections how we could spend this day together. And in these cold days I had warm dream... You and I alone on a coast of any small lake. Probably it is very magnificent to meet a sunset with lovedman. Imagine, last beams of the sun are reflected in smooth water. Because of it there is an impression, that all lake, to cover with gold. We sit on a coast, the wind licks our shoulders and hands. You gently embrace me. Around there is such silence, that I can hear your heart. You tell to me something, and I simply look at you. I so want to learn that I shall feel at this moment. We shall open a bottle good wine, and we shall enjoy slowly him and the each other. Probably it such is silent happiness. My dear, I have for you gift, I think that you already have found out it:) I have visited a photo studio and have made for you a photos, I hope you estimate it:) Lee, I think we were born to meet and I hope to be together. At night I can hardly get sleep, thinking of you and looking on the star sky. I dream about our meeting my dear Lee, I see you in the airport with flower for me, we waited this moment for a long time, I leave plane and walk to you my dear, you are staying far and at the moment you see me, we run to each other, I fall to your embraces, you gave me flower, but I do not see anything happening around, our first kiss is so sweet, it is so long waited, we are kissing, and all people look at us and they see that we are happy, that this moment is the most important for us! Oh, it is so great, your keep me in your embraces all the time, we drive home, kissing all the time, I am looking in your eyes and you drive me mad Lee! Then we are at home and you show me where is kitchen located, I cook supper for us and during this time you are preparing bathroom:) Then we go there together and fall in this ocean of feelings and imotions long hours, I make underfull massage for you my dear, you get good relax in smiling all the time, kissing you my dear, I feel that your lips are so sweet! then we go to kitchen and have very tasty supper, then enjoy looking at star sky... I am understand, that is is everything I need, I am in your hands and you will never let me to go Lee...

Poem for you my prince :

Feeling of my heart...
They are grow as morning roses
In the garden,
Ready to be opened by sun,
Ready to present their beauty to everyone
Who look at them,
My heart has been opened by love,
It is ready to give you the light of imaginations,
The brightest light of this world !

With warm embraces and sweet kisses,
Yours always, Nadya.
P.S. Please Lee inform me more precisely the nearest

Letter 58

Hi Lee! How I am glad that I have an opportunity to write you now. My dear Lee! I have bad news! I became the drug addict! And my drug - you Lee! :) I have a little time. I has come here only to write you some lines. I haven't even one free minute. Now the each minute of my day is devoted to you Lee! Every minute of my day I use to make our meeting come true. Every minute of my day I think of you and about our meeting. I give off all my diligence and forces to meet you. I read your letters and cried, because you have touch my heart and soul. You have hit me in the heart. I cannot find the words to express all my feelings to you. I cannot find the words to explain what I feel. I never heard such gentle, tender, kind, beautiful, fantastic words, Only from you. You have won my heart. It was not possible to anybody. I am happy, that I have found you. I have already found happiness. Likely if I will see you, I will go mad. I think, yes, I think that in my heart was born the new feeling, which people call... No, I will not tell it now. I will tell it when I meet you. I will tell it when I will see your eyes and when you will see my eyes. Today I finally got the invitation! I will have the interview with the commission! I shall go to Moscow! It is the most important point for me. I prepared to this for a long time. After I will have interview I will find out the final decision! The commission will inform me their decision, and then you and I will know if we will meet or not. I don't want to say "IF", but it is really a very difficult and tense moment. And I am simply not sure if I will have confidence and self-control. But I have to calm down myself. My worry - our enemy. I think I am ready. I feel that I can do and tell everything correctly, and we will meet! You should be with me in your thoughts. Without you I so am afraid! I have almost all documents which should impress the commission. I hope that everything what I did will help us. Please, tell me that you believe in it. Be with me in your thoughts. I so worry. I so want to put my head onto your knees and to feel your warm hand on my face. For the sake of it I am ready to give off all my forces! And Family and girlfriends gives all her forces for our meeting. Last night Olga has come to my home and she have suggested to bake a cake,- simply to relax after difficult day. We have together invented the new recipe and have started to make a cake. I wish you saw this cake! There is not on the Earth any cake with such a quantity of components! :) Between of layers of a soft gentle biscuit we placed mush of kiwi and bananas. The sour cream with a strawberry and juice of fresh lemon have turned into a magnificent cake-cream. We have decorated a cake with a cherry, and when we already wanted to try our cake, we have suddenly understood that we forgot to give a name for our pie. I do not know if is in your country such a tradition, but in Russia each cake have the name, like - "Cinderella", or "Ant Hill" or "Autumn Waltz". So we began to look attentively at our cake, and to think,- what name this cake must have. Olga began to offer various names - "Palette" or "Rainbow". But I said that all this is banal and too ordinary. There is millions cakes with similar names. Then she has offered the name - "Flying Hippopotamus" or "Drunk Fakir"! I have asked her - why "Drunk Fakir"? And she has answered that it is unusually, and in any country of the world I never would find a pie with the similar name! :) But I said that it is too foolishly! Olga offered tens of names, but to each her offer I answered that it is too foolishly, or too banal, or too ordinary, or it is not interesting. Finally Olga has told: "All right Nadya, if you are so clever, maybe you will offer anything not banal, unusual, not foolish and interesting?" And then I have told: "Look at this cake! This cake is appetizing just as Lee!!!! I want to name this cake - Lee!" :) I wish you saw Olga during that moment! She has fallen onto a floor and began to laugh loudly! I could not stop her at all! She has told: "Nadya, you are absolutely crazy Russian woman, but I love the name Lee!!!!" :)) We together laughed loudly all the evening, we drank tea and ate a delightful cake with the name Lee!!! :) I hope you are not offended that I have named a cake by your name? It is a beautiful, sweet, gentle, and very tasty cake!!! Lee, I have to go. I hope you dream and think of me as often as I think of you! :) I shall write to you before departure to Moscow Please, write me the letter! I beg you, do not forget about me now! :) Please, tell me that you wait for me with impatience :) Please, tell me that you are dreaming to embrace me at the airport! :) Lee, if some lady would want to be with you while your beloved woman don't see you, what would you tell that lady? Forgive me, I have to go. But only because I want to meet you as soon as possible!!!!:)

Your Darling Nadya!

Letter 59

Hello my prince!!! I cannot write much. I have received your letter for a long time ago, but I only have come for some minutes here, and I have some minutes to write to you! My dear, you know now I have all necessary papers for reception of the visa.. and tomorrow in the morning I shall go to Moscow to have interview for my visa. And to me informed that probably next week I can be with you :) I can write to you from Moscow in three days... As soon as I shall find out in Moscow the Internet of cafe I shall write to you. Lee You cannot imagine what occurs in my heart and in my soul! Thoughts about our meeting make me happy! I even am happy when I alone in my apartment! Do you know why? I know that we will meet Lee, and I simply I have no words. My heart completely obeys you! You are my man! Yesterday I began to knit a sweater for you. It will be my gift. I knit a sweater of Angora wool. Do you like a sweater? Do you like to wear sweater when cold in the street? I am absolutely sure that you will like this sweater. I make it with such big love. I make it so studiously. It will be the best sweater in country. :) Color - is slightly darkest than white. - Very beautiful color. I want to make on a front part of a sweater an inscription - the name. First I wanted to make name - "Nadya". But now I want to make a name - Lee. And I do not know what do you want. The name will be not big. Probably male's sweater must be with male's name. Or maybe you want me to not make any names at all? I can make simply a sweater, without any inscriptions. You have 3 days to make the decision - what name you want to see on a chest. If you do not write to me, I will take the decision by myself, but I will not tell you. I will give you this sweater at the Airport. Do you like my idea Lee? I assure you, you will admired! :) . We several times knited similar sweaters; and we used for a base the pictures from modern magazines of clothes. But your sweater will be the best! Because I will do it with special love. It will be one of my gifts for you! Olga helped me so that I have time to finish it before my arrival to you! Lee could you tell me the volume of your chest, and the length of your hand from a shoulder up to a wrist? Or simply a size of clothes that you wear? It will help me! By the way, I as well will bring for you a small Russian souvenir! And some other souvenirs for other people who are dear for you! I hope you will be glad! I do not know how to thank you for everything. You have changed my life Lee.
I am so happy. Now I should finish the letter :(
Wish me of good luck :) I wish to you successful day.
If you know how it is lonely here without you...
With Love
Your Nadya.

Letter 60

how are you dear?? I have not received your answer long time! you ok?
Nadya

Letter 61

Good afternoon mine dear and loved Lee for me it is very happy day to see your letter. My dear I hope, that at you all is good. how do you feel? I very much ask to excuse to me my absence!!! I just now could write to you the letter! All appeared here very complex. On my way there were many obstacles. But now all is good. I have only good news, my prince. It was difficult to find habitation. first of all, I searched suitable for hotel.. Moscow very huge and expensive city. one of the most expensive cities of the world. hotels are here too very expensive.. I managed to find number for 80 dollars.. but I have counted it also very expensive. Yesterday I managed to find my girlfriend, Irina... We studied at university. She has allowed me to stop in her house. We had many conversations, spoke about you much. Irina it is very glad for me! Today she has carried out all the day long with me.. And by the evening accompanied to the Internet of cafe. And has gone for work. Lee I think that everything most difficult has remained behind us! I had the interview! I knew that it would be a difficult conversation, but I could not imagine at all that I must answer to so many questions. And prior to the beginning of interview I have been so frightened, I so worried. But as soon as they have asked the first question, I at once became absolutely calmed down. I have ceased to worry absolutely. I simply sat, and, looking directly into eyes of the commission simply and straight answered to questions. I spoke everything what I think, in all sincerity, as always. They asked me actually about everything! They asked me about my life, about my childhood,, about terrorism, about my work, about my last relationship. They have read all documents which I has collected. They asked me about my belief in god. and often I saw on their faces that they expected from me not such the answers, but I didn't want to speak beautiful things which pleasantly to listen to. I simply spoke sincerely all what in my heart. They have told that such the answers are the big rarity for the applicant. Because usually applicants dont answer so sincerely. Usually, applicants think some time and try to answer so that the answer was most convenient for the commission. And first I thought that my answers have not satisfied them, but they have told that to listen to my answers very pleasantly and unusually. They have told that "bitter" sincerity always better than "sweet" flattery. Besides, they really have been impressed with fact that I had such a great support from many people living in different regions. And maybe in some hours I will find out the decision!!!!! I can't believe. I feel that I did all correctly. Lee today I saw my parents in my sleep-dream, and they smiled to me. I know that it is their approval. I see my parents in sleep-dream very seldom! I always knew that dream will never simply fall into hands from the sky. I always knew that if you want the dream to come true, you must do for this purpose all what in your forces. I know that it is necessary to believe, hope and struggle. And I really struggled Lee, I tried to do all what in my forces. And I hope god will help us. after all difficulties, after all efforts I believe that Everything will be fine! I really feel that I did everything well. Lee I worry very much, but my heart say to me that I should smile. And I smile today. I feel that I will meet you. I feel that the meeting at the airport will be beautiful and romantic. I will tell you everything what I will feel at that moment, and you will tell me. And then we will leave the airport and we will chatter and laugh. I will tell you how I endured the flight in the plane and what I was thinking about. You will tell me how you waited for me at the airport. And then we will have a wonderful time together. We will walk, spend evenings, to watch funny and scary movies, - and I will hide under your hand at the most scary moment... We will meet together the first beams of the sun and will see off a magnificent sunset. We will sit near a window and to drink hot tea while in the street will be a strong rain. How I want to have a breakfast together and a supper with candles. How I want to shout together with you at the baseball stadium; or simply to lay on a bed, and to tell each other about a life. How I want all this - simple things which will bring to us so many joy. If everything will be fine, I will start the most difficult process - preparation of my suitcase! :) . Lee and probable by next week we shall be together:) SOON WE WILL BE TOGETHER and it will be wonderful. If we fated to become single whole, I believe that it will be. Our hearts are like two great oceans. They are vast and very deep yet calm an peaceful on the surface. Our feeling run very deep and they are very strong. Sometimes we get afraid we will be pulled under by the current. I dream that our two oceans will meet in a powerfull wave that will shake the very earth. And when all is done there will be one vast beautiful ocean, beautiful, hopelessness and despair, only you can keep the spark in my soul burning bright. But now I have to go! My legs shiver as if I the schoolgirl! :) . Wish me luck and think of me!
Your Nadya.
PS: has attached for you some pic of me and Irina..
it is made these days.. I hope you Like it..

Letter 62

Hi, my Lee. Dear, excuse, for a delay of the answer! I even do not know what to tell first. I simply hope that you will be happy! The most important, finest news - I did it! I got the visa! I am very happy Lee!!!! :) My prince I hasten to inform, that I have not stopped on it and later we with my girlfriend at whom I have stopped in Moscow have gone to office of airline, company that reserves airway tickets. I asked them how I can reach San Francisco (SFO) and how much it costs. They've told me that the roundtrip flight to your airport cost $2287 united states dollars. It was too expensive for me and I've asked them to find the cheapest variant. And they've offered. It would be on the January 28 I have learned, that cost of tickets up to in one party will make 585 dollars, I was wondered if it was possible to reserve a ticket and to pay for it a part of the money this time and the other part later, because other people can buy the cheap ticket and I'm not. But they've refused and I was in despair! I've asked them to help me so long time that tears have come to my eyes! And they've agreed! I have learned, that return tickets are necessary for the proof of that I independently can return to Russia. But there is an opportunity to change return the ticket on money in your country, or to change date. To me have told, that if will take return tickets the discount at a rate of 5% is given, it turns out that 585+585=1170 dollars and will subtract 5% these are 58 dollars that will make 1114 dollars, but still it is necessary to add to this sum of 10% from cost for registration of tickets and meal, it will turn out $1225, is the cheapest tickets of an economic class, is cheaper a way to arrive to you I is not present. It was the best variant for me. They have told that I can pay a part of money now, and the other part later. it is possible, but I will be limited by term. And if I will not pay the full cost of the ticket within of this term, I will lose already nested money. I have agreed because it is the only chance for me, because I must give to anti-emigration committee a data about my payment. By this moment I had only the concrete sum of money which I had after all my expenses. I paid $ 570 USD. But it was not enough for them. In a panic, all what and I could do - I pawned my gold earrings and rings In a pawnshop and I got $164 USD.
That is all I could do. The information on flight:
7:30 pm Depart Moscow (SVO)
Arrive San Francisco (SFO) 7:48 pm +1 day Monday 28-January
Duration: 35hr 18mn
The number of the flight on which I will get the
ticket is Aeroflot-Russian Airlines 277 Continental 41 Connect in Rome (FCO)
Total stops: 2
I know that probably I simply must tell that I can't come to you because I haven't the remaining sum. I know that I promised to do all by self, and I was sure that I can. I did not want to ask you. But after I did everything I did, I cannot simply tell that I will not come to you. I have passed through so many difficulties, and I have overcome the most difficult. But all the same I have disgusting feeling that I could not fulfill the promise. I am always ready to do all what is possible,- to fulfill my promises, but at the same time I understand that any person could get in such a situation. To get the visa I have spent much more money than I expected. But people were ready to help me only if I will pay them. I paid more than 500 dollars to get all documents, I paid in municipal committee, in the ministry. Even officers in army garrison have compelled me to pay for their help. I did not expect all this, but up to the last moment I was sure that I still can make everything. I expected that I can get a vacation payment. But I have received only a part. We get other part a vacation payment after ending of a vacation. I Tried asked to give me this money now because I need this money urgently. But, at the last moment I have got the answer that I can get this money urgently only in case of serious illness or for example in case of death of the relative. Besides, you know, the part of funds was stolen from my apartment, and it yet have not returned to me. They Have subscribed in police to transfer to me funds to your country, in three weeks, and I can return to you it. I feel so guilty. I was sure that nothing can prevent our meeting. But I must pay remaining sum. It is $491. And I must pay money before January 25, morning. Otherwise I will lose my nested money and our jewelry will be sold out simply in vain. I know that I should not ask you, and I am very ashamed to do it. And maybe I really simply had to tell you that I can't meet with you because I could not provide my travel completely. But I cannot simply refuse our meeting because then all my diligence, forces, nerves, means will be spent in vain. I understand that for you it is too big sum to lend me. You are not obliged to help me. And 500 dollars which I have spent to get the visa, and $734 that I have given for the ticket also I restored a door in an apartment before departure. It all are huge money for me. But I want you to know that I have given everything not for the sake of myself, but for the sake of us, for the sake of you and me. And I was happy all this time. If you want to meet me, to help me to make our meeting, please, transfer funds to the help before January 25, morning. I want you to be confident in my sincerity, that is why I send you the view of my visa. I want you to see the result of my efforts. I do not know if you want to help me or already not. But you have told that I should let you know if there is anything you can do to help me. I believe you even though I am afraid to ask. But I have no other exit. I need you Lee. If you can help me I will tell you what I have found out. You can help me with the help of remittance system. So I have addressed to the most convenient bank. I have been told that they use the systems "WesternUnion.com" and "MoneyGram". They have told that it is the American systems. And there I can receive your help very fast and I will be absolutely safety. You should transfer them into any office here in Moscow for Nadezhda Frolushkina. There I have been told, that to get the money, I must tell to employee of bank(agent) your full name, your full address, exact sum which I should receive and some confidential numbers - Reference Number. You will get this number in your agent(office) if you will send your help. Only with presence of all this information I can get your help. And I will give you back all your funds at the earliest opportunity probably in three weeks. I think about you Lee all the time! I think about a meaning of funds, and I'm very sad if these papers can prevent people to meet each other. In most cases the funds play a main role in the life but it's not right! I do not know what answer I will get from you Lee. I very much am afraid that you will not help me. But I want to tell, that I really need you, and I simply can't endure the thought that I did almost everything, but I will not meet you. I have given all my forces, but together we are stronger. Are you with me?
Write to me soon!
With love, Your Nadya.