Letter(s) from Katrina Efimova to Michael (USA)

Letter 1

Hi Michael!

How are you there? I am fine.

Michael, I wrote you few days ago and don't receive a message from still. I'm afraid my letter hit to spam, please check your email.
I remember we meet on yahoo personal. I hope you don't forget about me. =)

Please write me if you still interested in me.


Letter 2

Hi Michael.

First of all I want to say "thank you" for your reply. I was sincerely glad to receive your answer and I'm very grateful to you that you have found time for writing back to me.

Michael, thank you for photo, I like it. You look very nice!

I guess right now I must write at least the most important things about myself. I want to say that I want to find a friend but my desire is diluted with absence of any experience in dialogue via internet. I'm sure time will help me and you if you feel the same. As you already know my name is Kate. As for my profile you know first I have informed in a profile that I'm from Russia but I began to receive plenty of letters from various american women. They was very angry and they was writing me that I must seek for men in my country - in Russia. They used invectives and obscene bad words they was writing me that I am not worthy of them and that American men are for american women. Their words have saddened me very much. They offended me in their letters and tried to force me to cancel my profile because I am Russian. They was writing me that american men do not like russian women. Is it really truth? I do not believe them. I think for any man the most important thing in a woman is her internal world but not her nationality or location. After all I have decided to write temporarily that I am living in USA and change my pic just to not receive bad letters from a cruel women anymore. And they have really stopped writing me. But I forgot to correct my profile. I simply forgot. I ask you to forgive me because I'm guilty that I have not corrected the information about my residence when I wrote to you. I had to correct back but I simply forgot about it. Please do not be angry with me. My nationality is russian and please tell me what do you think about russians? It's important for me to know this things. Do you know that Russia was the Soviet Union before? There was too many nationalities in our previous country USSR and I guess there are many nationalities in USA also am I right?
To be honest I was afraid that you will not reply back to me being disappointed with my nationality and residence. And if my nationality have saddened you or if the distance for you is the main thing in a friendship and relationship I'll try to understand you but I sincerely think there are no borders and distances for friendship. Besides in the near future I'm going to travel to the USA and who knows maybe we would become big friends or even more. That is why I want to communicate with you and I sincerely hope that you will be glad to have a female friend from Russia. Have you ever been to Russia Michael? I live in the North-Caucasian area of Russia - in Republic Severnaya Osetia-Alania. I live in the small settlement called Chernoyarskiy. It's near to the such a big cities as Mozdok, Nalchik, Beslan, Vladikavkaz. Michael, I'm not a wonderful american girl who lives nearby to you but as anyone I have the soul and kind heart like any woman I have the tears when someone gives me a pain and I have a smile on my face when I am glad. I hope very much that your interest in woman does not submit to distances and borders. Michael, I am sure that presence of my picture in the letter made you look at my picture before you began to read my letter, am I wrong?? Well I hope my appearance will be pleasant for you. I am 30 years old. My birthday is May, 25 1978. I've got the higher education and the degree of dental specialist. I work as the dentist in the small clinic.
Michael, I feel that I'll finish my letter because I even don't know if you are still interested in dialogue with me or not. But before I finish I want to tell you that I have written to you not for fun. And though I had a strong desire to find a friend via Internet however I do not want to turn it simply into a game. I'm trying such a communication for the first time in my life and this decision is a brave decision for me. I am a usual woman I try to enjoy what I have. But in my 30 years old I know this life I know enough to understand that happiness is not always defined by things which surround us and which we have. I like my life I have various things - own apartment, profession, interests and hobbies, I have heart and mind. But I would lie to myself if I would say that I am happy because not the material world makes people happy. I want to have a man very much, a partner and a friend of course. I could not find mutual understanding that is so important for me. Friendship is above all because I think that the friendship is a base of any relations. I would like to try to find out more about you. And I hope you are interested in our dialogue just as me. We have the chance to learn more about each other to become friends and maybe more. who knows... But if you think that I'm not worthy of you if you have no desire to talk to me anymore please let me know at least.
Michael, assuming that you will write me again may I ask you some questions? Do you like your work? Where is your home? What kind of music do you like and in general what are your interests? These questions are banal but wouldn't you like to know about me the same things as well? And by the way I will be glad to have your pictures!
Therefore do not hesitate to send me sometimes your recent pictures!
Thank you! I hope you want to talk to me and I hope I will get your answer. Will I???

With the best regards. Kate.

P.S. I have been told that our internet connection is low-speed so when you will send me pictures please make your pictures not very much sizeable, ok?

Letter 3

Hi Michael!

I'm so very glad to receive your letter, thank you! You have answered and it means that your heart is open for new friends. I think it's great because the friendship brighten the life! Probably you have already noticed that I'm not able to keep my emotions inside of me. Really, I always try to share my joy with other people. I try to give my smile and good mood to all people because the life will be gloomy without it. I never show to people that I am grieved or have any problems. And all people who know me are sure that everything in my life is perfectly and I'm a happy woman which haven't any disappointments and all my dreams always come true. But unfortunately it is not so because when you are lonely nothing can cure sadness. And if you Michael ever felt the same you understand what I mean.

Michael, I must tell you I try to write in english as good as possibly and I hope you understand everything what I write to you. I studied english for more than 18 years but since I study this language in the russian-speaking country I know that my english is not quite correct. Therefore I ask you to not punish me for my mistakes! I dreamed to be the linguist or interpreter when I was in school but I've become the dental specialist and I'm happy that I have chosen english language for studying because the knowledge of english has opened for me the whole world of the wonderful beautiful poetry of english-speaking musicians. I like western music very much. Pink Floyd is a greatest band! I like many songs of Led Zeppelin, Keane, Joe Cocker, Mark Knopfler, Radiohead and even Nirvana's songs is very interesting for listening. I listen many other delightful musicians of course. There are many good musicians in Russia as well but I bet you don't heard about them. Well I think there are many others things about myself that I must tell you.

Michael, I want to apologise to you for so long delay with answer. We have celebrate in Russia at this time. Every year in the bergining of May we celebrate "The day of Spring and Labour". For the first time in the Russia this holiday was celebrated May 1, 1890 and has name:"The day international solidarity of labours". In 1997 year it was rename to: "The day of Spring and Labour". So, it's the reason of my silence and I hope you don't angry with me.

Michael, I do not know how to answer your question. You want me to say exact date of our meeting? I cannot do it. I do not know when I will get my vacation. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in some months. But it is not the most important. We have chance to start relations in such a way, to tell to each other about ourselves, to share thoughts; we can become friends, and the meeting after that would bring much more happiness. Maybe you do not want similar relations, but I searched for it, and I understand that I must have a lot of patience in such relations, and I understand that the chance to find happiness is not great, but if there is even one chance to find happiness in such a way, I am ready to use this chance.

By the way I like the picture what you send. Very nice nature.

In general, if to speak about my nature I must tell you that I'm a versatile person. I like sports, I like reading, I like to listen to music, I like to play piano, to watch movies: Scent of a woman, Notebook, Stepmother, Love Actually, Mystic River, 21 gramme, Dragonfly, K-PAX, Forrest Gump are good movies but there are many great movies in the world and I guess there is no any time for watching all of it and of course I can't list all movies I like - there are too many good films. I adore cooking, I knit warm clothes. Actually, any woman can knit here. I like camping, swimming. I have no children and I was never married though I was in a relationship and I thought that it will lead me to the happy future. But now I haven't anything except of bad and painful memoirs. (All in all it was just a brick in the wall.. - these are good words that I like very much). But I live with a smile on my face and with hope in my heart. I'm optimist and I don't need many things to be happy. All I need is a man, friend, soul-mate...

Michael, if there is anything you want to know I will be glad to tell you. I wanted to ask you, Michael, what are the basic features of your character? As for me, I really can tell that I have a kind heart and I am a good listener. I'm always appreciate sincerity and honesty, I'm able to forgive and I hate anger and roughness, I'm very active and sociable and I'm a very gentle and sensual. Michael, what are you looking for in a woman? How often you tried to find a friend or soul-mate via internet? Probably do you have many female friends in the internet?

Michael, I hope my letters are not too big for you? If they are too big please forgive me. It is my demerit - I can't state my thoughts briefly... I hope you are not angry? Probably I'm too talkative but I hope it doesn't irritate you? Anyhow, you should know that I'm an open book and I'm always sincerely ready to tell you more about me and to find out new things about you. Such I am. I have to finish, Michael, but I wanted to tell you that I use computer at the clinic. I work from monday till friday. But sometimes I work saturday and sunday. So maybe I will be able to write letters in weekends if you want of course. This computer is located in cabinet of medical analyses. We get the access to the internet only few times in a day for sending analyses and receiving result. Well now this computer will be also used for my dialogue with Michael. I wanted also to ask you about your family. I miss my family too much but nothing can't help me. Michael, I hope to receive your letter soon. I send you more pictures of me and hope you like these pictures! By the way, Michael, I have brought into clinic all my pictures and our programmer has placed them into the computer. So I have many pictures here and if you wish I'll be glad to send you more my pictures! Sincerely and with the best regards.


P.S. I'll hope to receive your picture soon. I'll be very grateful to you!

Letter 4

Hi Michael!

I'm smiling right now! I waited to receive your email and when I got your letter it was a better time! I was working with lots of stress today. Today we had to receive medicines and all pharmaceutical materials including anesthetics. But for some reasons the bus with medicines again has not come to our clinic. I have declared to all patients that I can work but only without anesthetics. And there were many people who were ready to cure tooth even without anesthesia because there is no guarantee that the bus will come tomorrow. So today was the twice difficult working day because not anyone can endure pain especially children. Anyway I took a break and I have been informed that I got the letter and I forgot about all my worries with work. So, thank you for your letter Michael! Forgive me for talking about teeth and about my work. I bet you got unpleasant feeling while reading about anesthesia! I know that all men are afraid of dentists but let me to assure you that as a woman I am absolutely undangerous and harmless for you!!!

Thank you for nice photo.

Also I want to tell you that I've asked you in my last letter about your family because it was always important for me. I think many people don't understand completely that family it is a big riches. Many people understand value of family only when lose it. I always loved my parents and now I miss them very much. Both my parents have passed away. Daddy has died when I was a child. He has been killed in a military conflict. Mom has died when I was 16 years old. After daddy's death she always was sick and spent a lot of time in hospitals. Being a little girl I was doing everything by myself: I cooked a meal, sewed clothes, etc. I studied at school and I worked as a nurse in the evening to support us. It was a hard time but it made me stronger. At this time I have found a friend - her name is Olga. She helped me in any ways she could. She is my best friend now and the closest person in my life. When mom has died I was frightened very much but I tried to do everything to be the worthy daughter to be worthy of her love. Together with Olga we have finished medical university we got the specialization together and worked as interns. I really hope I became a woman that my parents wanted me to become. I think that those difficulties that were in my life have made me who I am now. Now I think that I was not saying often to my mom about my love to her and I regret about it so much. Michael, forgive me that I write about it. It is my life and it is a part of me. Simply I want you to know me more because I would be glad to know more about you as well. I wanted to ask what is our religion? Are you religious? How you spend your weekends Michael? Do you like to spend time at the nature? Michael, did I tell you that I have a dog? He is grey and funny dog. When people see my dog they are smiling. I send you some pictures where you can see my dog. Michael, today was really a good day and right now I'm sitting and writing this letter and I'm smiling. And I hope that right now you read my letter and smiling too. By the way my friends know that I'm talking to you and they start to ask questions about you! Well all my friends are two ladies - Olga and Svetlana. You know one of them is working with me at our clinic.
Michael, I have to go. But I will wait for your letter! I hope you will write me soon. And then I will have again a smile on my face.

Your friend Katrina.

P.S. I hope that right now you have smile on your face. I want you to smile, smile, smile, smile... I have a nice mood today hope you're too!

Letter 5

Hi Michael! All I can say is "what a wonderful evening after the hard day!" I am so glad to receive your letter because right now is evening and I has returned to clinic just now. And your letter is a true surprise! We had "out-clinic day". Every week several various doctors and some assistants (who takes analyses) are going all together on a special medical bus to various remote small villages which are located far away from big cities usually in a thicket of a forest. The public transport is not going to such a villages and there is no any clinics out there. And people cannot go to big cities because these people have no personal transport. In these villages always there are many sick people basically small children or old and weak feeble people whose life completely depends on other people. So we go on the specially-equipped bus directly to these villages and we render medical aid to all needy people right in their homes or in the bus. All these people know us personally and love us very much. You know Michael, I am so tired right now that I have no forces even to smile. That's why I said that your letter is a wonderful surprise!! I feel that I began to say silly things?! Likely I have already tired you?

As for kind of my dog, it is "Schnauzer"-I hope I write it correctly =). And you are right he is very adorable, his name is "Grey", I given it name simply because that he is grey. (smile)

My birthday is May 25, 1978.

Michael, I am afraid that I will be writing to you during all the night because our dialogue for me is a true rest! Tomorrow I will sleep as long as I want because after "out-clinic day" we are allowed to come to clinic at any time. You know, Michael, my favourite day of week is friday because two next days are days off (though not always) and I can restore my vital forces and energy. BUT now I do not feel pleasure when I think of the days off because these days I maybe can't receive letter from my friend Michael! But you Michael likely will be happy when the days off will come because these days you will not receive boring letters from one boring woman whose name is Katrina!
Am I right??

Michael, can you imagine while I write you right now this letter Olga (I told you about her earlier) has fallen asleep right in the armchair opposite to me! She works together with me and we always work in the one group in "out-clinic day". She said she will wait me till I finish to write my letter to you Michael and now she simply sleeps!!! She is a true friend like a sister! She lives not far from me. Usually we spend the days off together. I like to spend time on the nature. I like to read books or simply to enjoy music and make various homework. I like to walk in the park or simply to be in my bed all day long. What about you Michael?? I like camping and to live in a tent I like sunsets and sunrises a smell of the river and bulrushes a rustle of a small waterfall, night starry sky and amazing brilliance of a fish dissecting a water surface of a small lake under captivating moonlight. This all is very beautifully and romantically for me. Do you like it as well, Michael? When air fills with aromas of the forest and wild-raspberry with river freshness and campfire's smoke this all brings into my soul the feeling of freedom and the insuperable desire to live. By the way Michael I like to cook and I know many recipes. Have you ever tried any Russian dishes? "Uha", "Okroshka", "Golubtsy", "Borshch". My favorite is "Okroshka"! Michael do you love a tasty meal? Does the way to your heart lay through the stomach? If so I think I have good chances! Michael, do you like to be romantic with your woman? I hope yes. I must go Michael, because the darkness has already covered all around and if we will miss the last bus from clinic we will need to go on foot some kilometers through the terrible places and forest and it is dangerous. We are simply women and we can't protect ourself in a dark streets. Well what is the funnest thing that you like to do, Michael? What event in your life you still recollect with laughter? Oh, I have promised you to finish my letter but instead of it I write again and again. Please forgive me. I will wait for your letter with hope! I hope your day is filled with sun warmth and human kindness!
Your friend Kate.

P.S. By the way the woman in a picture with me is my friend Svetlana.
P.P.S. Thank you for nice pictures.

Letter 6

Hi my dear friend Michael!

I'm so waited for your letter and I'm so glad that you have written to me! Thank you. Every new day brings to me stronger desire to communicate with you and to receive your letters. And now my mood depends directly on your letters! My mood is in your hands Michael! I hope my letters do not spoil your mood?

Yes, my birthday come soon, but I think you mustn't to send me any gift, I would like if you will congratulate me here. =)

I am so happy that you are romantic. I think that in the modern rigid and cold world a man should be necessarily romantic, because the man's romanticism is much finer than female romanticism. In Russia as a rule romantic - a woman. Romantic man in Russia is outsider. Unfortunately. Therefore I am simply happy to find out that you are romantic. Believe me, it is the big rarity.

As for me, I am really romantic lady. To live in Russia and to be able to enjoy a life, it is necessary to be romantic and optimist.
Otherwise life will difficult. Sometimes I simply soar in romantic dreams, and during any difficult time the romanticism always helps me to smile or make smile other people. I think romanticism is very important, especially in man and woman relationship.

Michael, I want to tell that I am really glad that I have found such a friend as you. And I am very glad to talk to you about everything. In my life I had always only two true friends - Olga and Svetlana and they always gave me their support. But now I have three friends and I am very glad. Today I have been a little alarmed because Olga has not come to clinic. It is a little strange because only the serious circumstances could become the reason of that. I simply worry that she got sick. Yesterday we have spent evening together and everything was fine. Olga and Svetlana live not far from me. And if we spend evening in our village it means that we sit at home because our village is a very small place. We have only one small grocery shop here the only our pride. There is nothing else out here. I cannot tell that I do not like this place. But here there is a lot of chechens and it always frightens people. But I like my village all the same. And I don't even know what I like more small village or a big city. Olga does not like our village and dreams to live in the big city with cinemas, museums, parks, with beautiful houses and shops and attractions. And I like it as well but I like as well our river and our forest, our air, our silence, singing of birds behind my window...

Michael, what do you like more the big city or the small village? By the way my apartment is in the wooden house. It is the old house but my apartment is cosy. I have a bedroom, kitchen and a bathroom with a toilet. I have a kitchen garden where I cultivate berries and vegetables. If Olga have and I have free time we go to to Nalchik, Terek or Beslan. We like to go to the cinema or simply to walk in the parks. Svetlana is 28 years old and Olga is almost 30 years old but sometimes we simply turn into children. And if in your soul Michael still lives "a little boy" it is wonderful! Every year in the summer we go to the festival of guitar songs. It is named "The Shlyapsky festival" and it takes place very far from us on the known river called Volga. It's a very beautiful festival. Hundreds of thousands of people lives in a tents on a riverside. And during several days most known guitar players and singers of russia together with simple people sing own songs for each other. Everyone cook a meal on a campfire and everyone invites each other to test their own meal - delightful atmosphere of kindness and peace. If we spend time here in a village we like to sew and knit clothes.

Michael, do you play chess? I like to play chess and checkers. I think you would not have chances in playing with me! I love sports very much. I jog every morning since the childhood. I like to keep myself in shape and I really have a good health. I have no car and I got used to go on foot! I do not smoke and sport in my life always had a great importance. I like to play soccer, I like to skate and ski, I adore swimming! I am a fine swimmer! And if we would swim together with you Michael you would need some efforts if you would like to catch or to touch me in the water! By the way Michael have you noticed that I'm a very modest? ha-ha-ha) but there is something I want to learn to do and I need your help! I want to learn to box! It would give me biger courage on the dark street! Can you give me some lessons, please? Michael, I have to finish my letter even though I do not want to. Right after work I will go to Olga to find out if she is ok. She will be glad to find out that you have again written me! Michael, do you have any regrets about anything that you did in your life and would you like to change it? What makes you happy? What is one thing you could not live without? I am sending you some my pictures. In one of pictures you will see Svetlana and me on the another pictures you will see me and Olga. I hope I am not sending too many pictures? I will wait for your letter again and I hope you will write me soon.

Your lady-friend Katrina.

p.s. Thank you for nice pictures. You look very nice. =)

Letter 7

Hi my dear friend Michael!

I hope you are not offended that I said dear? Simply I think this word will help you to understand how I am glad and happy that I have you as a friend! It has already changed my life and I want to say that I appreciate and cherish our communication very much! And of course I hope you cherish our friendship as well! You know usually a woman who works on a computer informs me that she has received email and that there is a letter in my email box. But today I had not many patients so I was visiting her again and again and I was asking her about email again and again and again... It was funny but not for her. But now she told me that I have email in my box and I'm very happy!!! Thank you Michael! By the way, when I has come to Olga I has found out that she got food poisoning. That is why she hasn't come to clinic. Do not worry she have not been poisoned by neighbours! :-) She cooked dried mushrooms and being a bad expert of mushrooms she has not noticed couple of poisonous mushrooms among good ones! So she has cooked a mushroom soup with several poisonous mushrooms and of course eaten it! I have spent all the night in her home helping to "clear" her stomach. By the way she sends to you her "HELLO!" She is very glad that I have such a friend as you!

Michael, I am really happy that we write to each other and that I can share with you my thoughts. Sometimes I really need it. The loneliness is a heavy cargo invisible to other people. Michael, when I come home I want to share with someone my pleasure, my thoughts. I want to cook a supper and to see dear man opposite me. The empty house saddened my mood. I can share my joy with Olga. I can take the walk or to dispel my sadness by music. But it simply self-deception because actually I need something other. I want to spend evenings and nights with a man dear to my heart. I want to feel hands of my beloved in my hair. I want to put my head onto his strong shoulder. There is so many things I want to do with my beloved... Forgive me Michael that I'm telling you about it. I just hope you understand me. Sometimes I feel sadness in my heart and the talking with you Michael helps me! BUT I think enough about these sad things.

Thank you for celebration, but my Birthday will the day after tomorrow. It is very nice that my Birthday is the Memorial Day in the state. We will have holiday every year at this day. smile

Yes I like to ride horse, I attach one pic on horse. As for Backgammon, I know rules of this game, but I don't play. smile

My address is:
Russia, Republic Severnaya Osetia-Alania
366903 Chernoyarskiy, Kolhoznaya st. 15
Katrina Efimova

Michael, I just thought to ask you a silly question: do you ever go to a forest to pick up mushrooms and berries? I have just recollected one funny story that happened to me and Olga. Every summer we go to the forest to pick up mushrooms and berries. Once upon a time we have lost the way. First we talked and laughed, being sure that we are not far from our village. But when finally the darkness of night has covered forest, we have become scared very very much. We shuddered because of each rustle or crunch. We have stopped in front of the big bush because something was rustling and sniffing there. We have become numb and we simply stood and looked at this bush. We thought that it is a bear and now he will eat us. At this moment a small dog has jumped out from the bush. It was so suddenly and unexpectedly that first we simply stood and shouted for some seconds and then we have rushed off with the speed of spacecraft! :-) But this small dog has been frightened of our shout not less than we are and this dog putting the tail between the legs has rushed away from us! It was so funny! I do not know what this dog was thinking about at that time but I think the dog is still remembering us!!! After this story I get result to have my own dog and it's Grey. smile. Sorry for so long story I just wanted to share it with you. I should change the subject.

Michael, I think I have already been saying that I am grateful to destiny for many events which I did not expect but which have changed my life and me. And now I am grateful to destiny that I have found a good friend with whom I can share my thoughts, pleasures and even sadness. It is so wonderful! His name is - Michael. I hope my words doesn't offend you, Michael? I have to finish but I want to ask you something. What clothes do you like to wear? What kind of clothes you would like to see on a woman at home and at the street? What physical features in a woman you like more? Do you like to kiss and to be kissed? Do you like to embrace your woman at the street? Michael, Olga has forced me to send you these my pictures!

These pictures have been taken in Sochi - city on a coast of Black Sea. I hope you like it. Respect these pictures! These pictures are only for your eyes!!! I hope to receive your answer as soon as possible. Write me please. I'm already wait for your letter! Think of me. Your lady-friend Katrina.

Letter 8

Hello Michael.

I didn't get your answer still. Do you find another woman or my latest pictures were so terrible?

Michael, you forget about my Birthday. I was yesterday and I was wait your letter, but receive none still. I came to clinic as usual started my work but after dinner all my colleagues congratulate me. They was gave me bouquet of flowers and said: "Happy Birthday Katrina". We drank champagne a little and tea with cake. It was very pleasure for me. I invite my friends to me after work. Each birthday I cook a lot of meal (distinctive feature of Russian character is a desire to surprise guests with variety of dishes). Several kinds of salads, okroshka, several kind of fried and stewed meat, mashed potatoes, several kind of fried fish; egetables, sausages, pies, cake, compote. It is a lot of meal. Russian people celebrate holidays first of all at home, and only in the evening took a walk. We was danced and sang songs. It was nice evening. Just one thing was saddened me, I would like to see you at this day, but it was impossible.

I hope to get a letter from you...


Letter 9

Hi Michael! My dear friend! Thank you thank you and once again thank you for your letter! I have received your letter but today I cannot write you much. I want you to know - I think of you. I have only few minutes!

Thank youo for congratulation, I just receive your e-card. You are right it has delay somewhere. Sorry that I thought you forgot. smile My birthday was nice, I would like to celebrate my next birthday with you, I hope it will possible. smile

Michael, I must say that I with impatience waited for your letter. I hate days when I cannot write to you or to receive the letter from you. Our friendship became an important part of my life and I hope that in your life as well. Now I just wanted to tell you that you are in my thoughts! Sometimes I think of you with a smile on my face sometimes my smile leaves me because I understand the thread that connects me with you now is not the most strong. And I do not want this thread to be torn. Every day I think of many things I think of those emotions which have appeared in my life now. You know that guy who every night sleeps with me in my bed is always mute and never says to me "Sweet Dreams Dear Katrina"... and I look at him and think of you Michael... Well this guy is my TEDDY-BEAR and I understand that he just can't talk... :-) But you know when I'm going to clinic - you are going to bed.. And when you are eating your dinner - I am sleeping in my bed with my teddy-bear... But I'm sure there is a moment when you and I think of each other at the same time. And it is wonderful. Such thoughts makes me joy. And I always want to share those emotions with you... I hope my words don't offend you in any way??? I wish you saw my smile when I am thinking of you Michael. Sometimes I so want to pinch you Michael so that you would squeal and laugh! But my smile leaves me sometimes because I know Michael that only thing that connects us now is our thoughts we're sending to each other - combinations of phrases and words which are hardly capable to reveal all the depth of our thoughts but at the same time I understand that nobody knows what the future holds for us. Maybe one day I will pinch you at last and maybe you will be able to put your hands onto my waist in a slow dance! Therefore I want to send you my kiss in a cheek! I hope my lipstick on your cheek will become a pleasant reminder about me?? I've to go already. My dear Michael! I'm sending you a picture-surprise!!! I hope you will be happy and I hope this picture will make you smile!!! I have taken these picture several days ago on a birthday party (55 y/o) of my coworker and today I finally can send it to you!!! My smile only for you!!! I hope you are glad and happy!!!
I will wait for your letter and the answer more than anything!
Your lady-friend Katrina.
P.S. Don't forget to wipe my lipstick when you will go out of your home or people you will meet will be asking too many questions!

Letter 10

Hi my good kind friend Michael!!!

Do you know how I'm glad to receive your letter! Thank you very much. I must admit Michael I feel truly comfortably only if I have received your letter. I'm often trying to imagine what you are doing right now where are you right now or with whom you are right now.. There are a lot of kilometers between us there are some hours between us but I always hope that right now you as well think:"What Katrina is doing right now? Where is she?". And maybe Michael we think of the same things at the same time. Olga always asks about you. In fact everyone here is glad for me and nobody is surprised that my friend lives in the another country. Nobody here is surprised if a woman seeks not a russian man. I don't understand russian men and their culture of behavior with woman. They are not able to appreciate woman's feelings her fidelity and love. They do not appreciate aspiration of woman to do for a man absolutely everything wishing to get from him only his love but I do not want to talk about bad and sad things.

Michael, can you believe right now into cabinet of medical analyses has come our boss and told me that when I have free time I should sit in my cabinet but not in the laboratory. Michael, I always do my work with the maximal concentration and attentiveness. And any doctor or nurse in our clinic deserves many kind words of gratitude but nobody ever heard such words from our boss! I have right to spend my free minutes in any way I want to do it. But right now when he said it I felt a shame and it made me blush! And I don't know why.. Are you a shy man Michael? What makes you blush Michael? Did you know Michael that I decided to tell you about my last relationship? This relationship is not an example of good relations. I don't believe that there are absolutely ideal people but I really tried to do everything to make us happy. I gave my feelings I was sincere and gentle I was washing clothes and cooking meal I was cleaning our home and I was working in clinic. I gave all my female caress I was devoted and I always cared for my appearance. And first he was good and kind man. But afterwards he became rough, cruel. He began to visit other woman, he was getting drunk and beating me. Outside of home he was a true gentleman, at home he was the tyrant. And I do not understand why... Why russian men uses dirty words when they talk to women? And why they think that it is a norm? Russian men adore alcohol. But the alcohol makes them cruel, spiteful, savage people. I'm afraid of russian men and I'm afraid of drunk russian men more than anything. I do not want to criticize all russian men. My father was a good man. I'm not ideal and just like any person I have merits and demerits. But I couldn't endure disrespect and eternal ingratitude. He was knocking me into my face even though I never argued with him. He was kicking me by his foot even when I was on a floor. He was saying that a man is a "predator" and all women are just man's "trophys" and therefore man can use his "trophys" in any way he want! I have left him. Michael, I want to hear gentle words instead of dirty abusive speech to feel hand's tenderness of my beloved instead of rigidity of his fist. I want to feel that my man is my protection and support. But how I can feel it if russian man is always ready to give a physical pain to his woman? I understand that there is bad men everywhere in any country. But the beating of a woman is national feature of russian men. There are women ready to endure everything. But I can't. The scratchs and bruises can be cured very quickly but it is difficult to cure wounded and humiliated soul. I'm afraid of roughness, I'm afraid of russian men, I'm afraid to give my love but one day to get knock into my face instead of love. Please forgive me Michael that I write you this things. I really wanted to share it with you. And I feel that you understand me. And I am very glad that I have such a friend as you. I wanted to ask you: are you ever becoming cruel, Michael? What makes you mad? I have to finish but I will look forward your letter. With tenderness and with thoughts of you.

Your Katrina.

Letter 11

Hi Michael!

How are you my kind dear friend? How wonderfully to receive the letter which I'm waiting during all the day and night! Michael, you cannot imagine how our friendship has changed me and my days. Every new day is filled with desire to get a letter from you. And when I receive your letter I so hasten to answer and to write you everything what is in my head and heart. And of course I feel that sometimes I write unessential silly things and I know I'm rambling on quite often. But such I am... and I am very happy that I can share my thoughts with you! Therefore I thank you Michael for our friendship. It is so important for me.

Thanks for your words about my ex-boyfriend. You know, after last relations I didn't have a wish to find a boyfriend for a long time.
But now I have new boyfriend and it is you, Michael. Thank you for your support.

Olga and me aren't sisters, we just friends. smile

You asked me about a possible visit you someday. I with pleasure will answer - Of Course! I would not start such a relations if I were not sure in it. If my heart will prompt me that I should go to your country, I will necessarily go. Of course all is possible. And if I will feel that time for meeting have come, I will do everything to organize this meeting.

Michael, today was really a wonderful day firstly because I have received your letter; secondly because today I have met a guy again whom I loved already for three years! I didn't see him for the whole year!!! Michael, I'm wondered whether you are worried right now or not? I'm just smiling right now. I hope you are worried! (smile) Well it is time to explain everything! This guy is a boy of 6 years old! His name is Sasha. Three years ago one woman has come into our clinic. She was holding a little boy in her hands. She said his mother has died long time back. She said that she cannot care of him any more and she has come here to give this boy to us because we can take care of him. She has simply put him into my hands. She said his name is Sasha and then she simply has gone away. Sasha constantly asked where is his mom. I have told that his mom will come to him very soon. To put it briefly Sasha have been living with me or with Olga for some weeks. We spent days and nights with him by turns. At working days we was taking him to clinic and he was spending all day there because we could not leave him at home but one day the manager has forbidden us to keep boy in the clinic and we have been compelled to leave Sasha in a boarding school. It was a very difficult decision. None of us could adopt him because according to russian legislation only the married couples are allowed to adopt children. To be short we was visiting him almost every day and we became a best friends. The last year Olga and I have been in Sochi and there accidentally we have met a girl we together studied at university with! Her name is Tatyana. And she has told that she has married a man from canada but she cannot have children. And they have decided to adopt the child in russia. So she has arrived to russia together with her husband to find a good boy in any boarding school. Can you imagine Michael? When she said this Olga and me began to jump and laugh! Tatyana and her husband are a fine married couple and I have told them that I know one delightful, beautiful, kind, healthy boy, who is waiting his mother every day. Tatyana and her husband has come to Vladikavkaz together with us, we have told them "history" of Sasha and when they have seen him they have loved him at first sight. They have adopted him!!! And today early in the morning when someone has knocked into my door I thought that it is Olga but when I have opened a door I have seen Olga, Tatyana and Sasha! I was so happy to see Sasha again! They have come to russia just for couple of days and then they will be traveling to Kenya for Safari! So Tatyana has come to us just to tell us thanks and simply to show Sasha to us! She has told they are a wonderful family and they are very happy now. They're thank the God because have met us in Sochi one day. I've asked Tatyana about how are they living now and she said everything is good although the world financial crisis but they're living in united states now not in canada. She said they're decided to live in united states for some time. Michael, I was so happy and I wanted to share my happiness with you! My dear Michael! I have to go. I hope I have filled your heart with the joy because it is what I wanted to do! You have to know that I am thinking of you! You are a wonderful man and I'm very glad because I have you in my life!

Your Katrina.

Letter 12

Hi Michael!

Michael, I am sorry for so long silence my mail box was broken. I don't know what happen but it isn't work still. I register new email address please write me here. It is efikat@mail.ru.

I'm sincerely glad to receive your letter and I'm very glad that I have an opportunity to write you because I want to tell you today so much. I want to share with you so many things today.

I have time to tell the main thing. I do not know why.. but today I have woken up earlier than usually because I could not fall asleep again. I'm simply sat near window and looked at the sky. The sky was dark but incredibly beautiful. I looked and thought that you now somewhere there, far from me... I have thought that maybe you are sleeping and seeing me in your dream and I have thought that if I could become a small cloud I would fly over the ocean only to be scattered onto small beautiful crystal raindrops above your house with the only one purpose to peek into your window even if only for a one instant and to whisper: "Good night Michael!" and in the morning when you would wake up and would look at street you would understand at once - this night Katrina was there near to your window and it's protected your night rest and has sent to you sweet-dreams... You would understand it was she who has left for you this small part of her soul - fleeting reminder - some beautiful crystal raindrops sparkling on your windowpane... And at this moment millions of small sparkling raindrops began falling from the sky millions of amazing raindrops have filled all around falling onto my window. It was incredibly beautifully as if the sky has heard my thoughts. And I have thought: if today you will see a small rain in the street or some drops of water at your window you need to know that it was my raindrops I have sent to you...

Michael, I always was sincere with you and I will be sincere now because from the beginning we built our friendship on the sincerity and openness. It's difficult to write about this things because for the first time in my life I'm trying to explain things I feel for the first time in my life and I feel I should be very exact and accurate in my words because even though I simply want to tell the truth I understand the truth and sincerity sometimes offend people. I want you to understand all my thoughts correctly because I do not want to offend you. Michael, you are very dear to me and I do not want to lose those relations that we have! Please remember this simple thing. All main emotions that I have in my heart are connected now to you and your letters Michael. For the first time in my life I tried to start relationship with a man who is far away from me and relations where thoughts and feelings of each other takes the main place. Michael, I do not know what waits for us in the future but I would be happy to have relationship with you Michael, friendly and more. And I would be happy if you would have such desire as well. I'm already thank God for what I feel right now. It is very valuable for me and I believe: all that was in my life all ups and downs are the way where God has put me to learn to appreciate life and to be wise to learn to make decisions and to make a correct choice when it is time to make a choice. I believe I had to pass through this way - to be ready to meet a man who will become my soul and heart... People forgot about many important things here and words "love" and "fidelity" have lost sense. The beauty and external attractiveness are main things for many people but my life has shown me that the main thing in a person is internal beauty, beauty of his soul. Not a lot of people really possess internal beauty and not a lot of people really understands that it is a most important most unique quality. It's what I was looking for in a man it's what I put at the first place it's a feature that could open my heart. And I want to tell you Michael, you are a beautiful man. I'm talking first of all about beauty of your soul and heart. You are beautiful for me and I thank God for our relationship. I'm not sure if you understand everything I'm trying to say but I hope you feel this way too. And I really wish to develop our relations to go further to learn each other at a new level where friendship is only the first step. I feel that I want to try to promote our relation further than it enough to be simple friends. And I hope my words do not disappoint you because I always wanted to be sincere with you. Could you ever relax your eyelids let your eyes be closed and to imagine a life we could share? I really dare to dream and imagine us together as a man and woman, people that can brighten life of each other and fill life with sense and variety with aspiration to learn each other more and more. I think that everyone must believe that dreams can really come true! I know that I can lose you at any moment. I feel we becomes very good friends and our relations makes me happy. I have opened to you my heart. I want you to know that you are dear for me. And even one day without you without your letter is like an eternity therefore I even cannot imagine months without you.. and I hope that our relations are important for you just as for me. I dare to hope that you want our relations to be promoted further than simply friendship. I hope you really have smile now! I will be waiting for your answer. I hope I have not offended you. Please, write me soon...

Your Katrina.

Letter 13

Hi Michael!

Your letter means so much for me. Thank you. I'm so waited for your letter and so wanted to find out what you will tell me.

I like your pictures. Thank you. As for animal, I think I would like to be a cat, if I died and was reincarnated into an animal.

Michael, today I write to you with special worry but also with pleasure and hope. I really hope everything I will tell you today will make you happy. Last time when I wrote you my honest letter I had the big sadness in my heart and maybe you have noticed it. Michael, I was sad because our boss informed me that approximately in three weeks the cabinet of medical analyses will be closed for full re-equipment and repair. And when he have told me about it I thought my heart will stop because when it will take place I will not be able to communicate with you for months! But after that my boss informed me about close of cabinet of medical analyses the accounting department informed me that approximately in three weeks I will get my vacation! When I thought that I can lose you for some months inside my soul I have felt that I can't simply accept it. I had no vacation for a long time and now I will have vacation but my thoughts about thing that I will not be able to talk with you, to receive your letters and write mine, these thoughts has brought infinite sadness into my heart. I've talked with Olga and she has asked me what I'm gonna do and I said that I do not want to spend such a long-awaited vacation in loneliness. I can't accept a thought that I will not talk to you Michael for a month or two. And I said that I want to meet you Michael and that I want to spend my vacation with you Michael! I can come to you and we can spend time together if you want?! First I was afraid that if I will tell you about it in the letter you will write me that you do not want to see me. And it would hurt my heart but Olga have told that you Michael and me are such a good friends, our relations are built on sincerity, therefore Michael will be happy to spend time with me and I really think that it would be nice. So, what will you say Michael, if I will offer you a meeting? Would you be happy to see me and to spend with me several days? I know you already answered to my questions but I want to be sure and I want to know what you think about it. You would show me your life, we would learn each other in a real life. We could walk and hold our hands watch the stars in the night sky and have romantic evening go to the movie or we could simply sit on a bench in the park and who knows what else we could do together...

I would be happy to do all this together with you instead of again being lonely without you and our friendship. I really want to meet you. I already knew but I have found out again what I need to do to come to your country. I have the passport already. And I will avoid usual procedure of visa's approval. Being the doctor I can get the visa on behalf of our Ministry of Health of Russian Federation because if the applicant have good official support from official bodies if the applicant have official recommendations and admissions to various medical conferences, seminars then applicant can get the visa very quickly. Of course I must visit many various departments, collect many documents find many other official persons and people for support. But if I will quickly collect all necessary documents I will get the visa in one or two weeks! So I have filed up the visa application Michael, with happiness and with hope that you will be happy to spend some days with me! I do not ask you about anything. I will use my monetary savings and I will make everything by myself. It's my vacation and I will not be a burden. Would you be happy to spend some days with me soon, Michael? I think we must meet each other anyway. We may wait eternally but I believe that I'm getting my vacation not accidentally and I believe that the cabinet of medical analyses will be closed at the same time not accidentally too. It's not coincidence! It is time to make a choice to make the decision to take new step. Maybe such opportunity will not be repeated again. I waited my vacation so long and I want my vacation to be especial. What can be better than a first meeting of two friends? I thanks God that I have got an opportunity to meet my dear friend to learn each other in a real life! And I believe that it can become the beginning of something new in our lifes and in our relationship. And I am really happy to get a vacation because it is time which I can spend in any way I want and I want to spend this vacation with you Michael! So what will you answer??? Would you like to spend time with me? Would you be glad to meet me? Would you be happy to have the first meeting at your airport? What is the closest airport to you? I will wait for your answer with pleasure.

Your sincere Katrina.

Letter 14

Hi my Michael!

I waited for your letter with fear and with pleasure at the same time!
And I'm very happy to receive your letter! I'm ready to jump and dance, laugh and sing songs! And the reason - you Michael! Thank you for your letter and your thoughts.

As for my address, I format it for you:
Katrina Efimova
Kolhoznaya st. 15, Chernoyarskiy
Republic Severnaya Osetia-Alania, Russia 366903

Every day I think - what my friend Michael will tell me today, what mood he will have today? And as soon as I get free minute I rush to analyses's cabinet to find out if you have written to me or not. And when I receive your letter I start to smile from ear to ear anticipating the best time of my day - time when I read your letter and write to you my thoughts. These are the most important minutes of my day. And these minutes I don't hear anything and I don't see anything except of lines and paragraphs my dear Michael. And you cannot imagine how it is wonderful! Sometimes I think what would be if I didn't write you the very first time? What would be if I didn't believe that I can find a man in such a way? I want to think that I am a courageous woman but I feel that actually it is not so. I'm ready to sacrifice my life for the sake of person who are close and dear for me I'm ready to donate my well-being for the sake of well-being of other person. But when I must do something for myself I become timid and all my boldness disperses like the smoke. Quite often I am afraid to do something, to take some step simply because of fear that it will be an incorrect step. I am afraid to ask people about anything simply because I'm afraid to get refusal. Not always but it happens. What would happen Michael if you didn't answer my first letter? Nothing would happen! And grey monotonous days again would lie on a way of my life by infinite impenetrable veil. Do you want to know what I was doing today? First off, I should tell that I was sleeping with a smile on my face! At least when I have woken up and looked at the mirror I have noticed that I'm smiling! Then I cleaned teeth and I was smiling! Then I was jogging and smiling as if actually I watched funny movie. Then I have cooked a breakfast and drank coffee with a smile on my face! Then I have come to clinic and I could not hide my smile. I was ready to laugh and I had no desire to work at all! It is a very bad symptom for the doctor! (Smile). Everything around have seemed to me beautiful and wonderful. And even a severe boss when have seen that I am looking at him with the smile he began to attentively examine himself and even have come near to the mirror to see what is wrong! He has thought that something wrong with his clothes!!! (hahaha). All the day I work with a smile on my face! Olga looks at me and smiles as well. Of course she understand the reason and it makes her happy as well! And when time of sleep will come I will lay in my bed with the same smile on my face! And if you still haven't understood why I smile I will tell you! I smile because I think of you Michael! And it brings joy! I am so happy that I have in my life such a man as you! Thank you that you are in my life Michael! I have to go. Now I will not be having a lot of time after work because after work I will be having one more working day!!! You may ask what I mean? I mean the preparation for my trip! You cannot imagine how many things I must do for our meeting! I even have asked boss to reduce my working day or to let me to take some hours off in the middle of a day to make some deeds because after 5 pm not all departments are working! Now I should work Saturday and Sunday to have more of free time at week-days. But thoughts about our meeting gives me forces and energy! I'm sure everything will be FINE! I will wait your letter! Please write me because I need your letters and support more than ever!

Your Katrina!

p.s. You look funny at the picture. smile

Letter 15

Hi my Michael! Thank you for your letter!

How are you today my dear Michael? I want you to see how is Olga happy that we will meet! She is sure that our meeting will make us happy. It is simply impossible to talk to her now! She has now only one theme for conversation and it's you Michael! She constantly asks about you asks what I'm going to do together with you she asks what I will do at the airport, she asks what I will cook for you. She asks how I'm going to impress you to intrigue! She even asks how I'm going to tempt you!!! Olga is very glad that I have found you and she sends you her friendly greetings and a wishes of happy expectation of me!!!

Michael, please don't be angry with me if I cannot write you much now. I hope you understand that even after my working day in clinic I must do too much for our meeting. Today I will go to Ministry of Health. I think it is one of the most important tasks for me right now. Today I will give them the all my medical documents and tomorrow I will probably get all documents and forms of petitions which I must fill out as soon as possible. Then I will go to Army Garrison where my father was working. They must collect for me all the information about my father about history of the death of my father. I must have data about work of my father not only in this Army Garrison but also in all others Garrisons where my father worked during all life. It is not easy to do it because my father worked in a various places of our huge country. But I'm sure that I will get the information because there is many officers who remember my father and I hope they will be glad to help me.

Michael, today I feel that I start to worry more than I even could imagine. I'm very glad that I do all this. And I think of our meeting every minute. The meeting at the airport... I don't think that many people on our planet have an opportunity to enjoy such a delightful moment - the moment of the first meeting at the airport. I feel that it will be very touching moment for you and me. I never travelled so far away. And I worry very much but I imagine us together and it calms me down. I see us together, I see us walking in the park, I see us speaking about serious and silly things or playing cards or a checkers (and the one who lose will execute any desire of the winner!!!) I see wonderful dinners at home and outside! I see you sitting on a sofa with a juicy peach in your hand and I see me dancing in front of you beautiful dance or maybe even erotic dance, how about Belly dance???! I can do it stunningly!!! I see us swimming, I see us watching the full moon, I see us fighting by pillows, I see us in the evening at home, covered by romantic light of candles, I see us cooking together russian pelmenies and american pizza, I see me in your embraces. All this waits for us in the near future and I enjoy anticipating this delightful time together! Do you feel the same Michael? Oh, Michael would you like to give me massage of my back? I would like to give you massage! But I must warn you that if you want to give me massage you should not touch my ribs!!! The reason I'm a most ticklish woman in russia!!! Michael, I'm afraid, madly afraid of titillation! If someone tickles my foot or ribs I begin to laugh loudly to kick and to scratch to squeal and to jump! Therefore if you will be massaging me and tickling me you will feel like a cowboy on a wild undomesticated mare on the rodeo! By the way, Michael, are you ticklish? Do you snore? (Forgive me for this question. Do not answer if you do not want. Maybe one day I will find out all this anyway!!!). Will you sing serenades for me? I would be happy if you would sing serenades and songs for me! I would remunerate you by kisses! Michael, I should finish my letter. I must do much so that you had an opportunity to give me massage and to get the massage from me!!!

Please, write me because now I need you and your letters very very much because I worry so much... Your Girlfriend Katrina.

p.s. I will wait your return and latter for me.

Letter 16

Hi my Michael!

Thank you for your letter! Every morning I wake up with a pleasant thought of our meeting! And each new day reduces distance between us!
Every new day makes us closer to each other. I'm so hope we will meet.
Michael, I am a doctor but I can't think of anything except of our meeting!!! It is dangerous if to take into account that I'm dentist!
Can you imagine how my patients are risking because I look into their mouthes but I think of you, Michael!

Michael my vacation will get start from June 22th and I hope I will be able to fly June 24th or 25th. I can't tell you exact date right now, but don't worry I will inform you as soon possible.

Michael, Olga says that last time she saw me such a happy many years back when I was the student girl! She asserts that you have changed me! Now I more often correct my hairstyle! I began to sing songs aloud! I began often to immerse into the world of fantasies so that sometimes I even don't hear that someone talks to me or asks me about something! It's so pleasantly and unusually! She is very grateful to you and very glad that we will meet! She helps me in all possible ways. Michael, do you remember in my very first small letter I have told that I want to find a man who will compel my soul to blossom? I want to tell you that my soul blossoms! You have brought a spring into my soul and now I feel like a flower blossoming under long-awaited beams of the warm sun! Thank you Michael! Michael, you cannot imagine what tense time I have now. I actually haven't even one free minute. I have already been to Ministry of Health and I got all petitions! It is great! In the Ministry I have been told that I must visit all patients which I visit on a "out-clinic day" - they must fill up forms of petitions for me. Of course they will be happy to do it. These people love me and all doctors who visits them! It will be a big support for me. The Ministry will make the report about my work in the difficult places where not any person is ready to work. I also will get the report and the characteristic from my clinic. Tomorrow me and Olga will have our own "out-clinic day"! We will go together to those settlements. After that I must legalize all documents at the notary. Olga will help me to get the full report about my biography in Municipal Department. I get tired very much not only spiritually but physically as well. And when I come home I will simply fall onto a bed and I will simply lie on my bed some time looking at a ceiling but if we will do everything quickly I will have interview with the commission. After this interview the commission will inform me whether my visa is approved or not. Tomorrow I will have also consultation - preparation for the interview. It is a very important point for me as well! Maybe I'm worry too much but I cannot calm myself! Forgive me that I write you about my cares. But I just worry a bit. Olga says that she envies my endurance and the power of will. I never told her but actually I often feel like a weak woman. I really need moral support. Since the childhood I make all the decisions by myself and my parents taught me never to show weakness or confusion and I'm always tried to do without anybody's help or advice even though sometimes I feel like a very weak woman. Michael, are you a leader in a relationship with a woman? Do you like to make the decision by self?
Michael, I have to go! Please, write me letter write me all your thoughts and feelings because I need it more than ever!

Your Girlfriend Katrina.

P.S. Michael, please again tell me the name and the code of the International Airport I must fly to!!! I must be sure that I have the correct information.

Letter 17

Hi Michael!

How I am glad that I have an opportunity to write you. My dear Michael! I have bad news! I became a drug addict! And my drug is you Michael!!! I have a little time. I has come here only to write you some lines. Now the each minute of my day is devoted to you Michael! Every minute of my day I use to make our meeting come true. Every minute of my day I think of you and about our meeting. I give off all my diligence and forces to meet you.

At once I want to tell that I have collected almost all characteristics and petitions from people. Now I will have a meeting with the notary at notary office to legalize all documents. Olga was able to agree with Municipal Department. Now she must get all documents about my family and me. Of course contrary to my expectations not all people are unselfish but the main thing is that we will get these documents. The rest is not so important. I already had consultation - preparation for the interview. I so worry. I want to put my head onto your knees and to feel your warm hand on my face. For the sake of it I am ready to give off all my forces! And Olga gives all her forces for our meeting. Michael, last night Olga has come to my home and she have suggested to bake a cake in honour of her future birthday simply to relax after difficult day. We have together invented the new recipe. I wish you saw this cake! Between of layers of a soft gentle biscuit we placed mush of kiwi and bananas. The sour cream with a strawberry and juice of fresh lemon have turned into a magnificent cake-cream. We have decorated a cake with a cherry and when we already wanted to try our cake we have suddenly understood that we forgot to give a name for our cake. I do not know if in america there is such a tradition but in russia each cake have the name like - "Cinderella" or "Ant Hill" or "Spring Waltz". So we began to think what's the name this cake must have? Olga began to offer various names - "Palette" or "Rainbow". But I said that all this is banal and too ordinary. There is millions cakes with similar names. Then she has offered the name - "Flying Hippopotamus" or "Drunk Tightrope Walker"! I have asked her - why "Drunk Tightrope Walker"? And she said that it is unusually and I would never find a cake with the similar name in the any country of the world!!! But I said that it is too foolishly! Olga offered tens of names but for each her offer I was answering that it is too foolishly or too banal or too ordinary or it is not interesting. Finally Olga said "All right Katrina, if you are so clever maybe you will offer anything not banal, unusual not foolish but interesting?" And then I have told "Look at this cake! This cake is appetizing just like Michael!!!! I want to give the name to this cake - Michael!" I wish you saw Olga at that moment! She has fallen onto a floor and began to laugh loudly! I could not stop her at all! She has told: "Katrina, you are absolutely crazy russian woman but I love the name Michael!!!!" We laughed all the evening we drank tea and ate a delightful cake with the name Michael!!! I hope you are not offended that I have named a cake after you? It is a beautiful, sweet, gentle, and very tasty cake!!! Michael, I have to go. I hope you dream and think of me as often as I think of you! (Smile). Please do not forget about me now! Please tell me that you are waiting for me with impatience. Tell me that you are dreaming to embrace me at the airport! Michael, if some lady would want to be with you while your beloved woman don't see you, what would you tell that lady? I have to go. But only because I want to meet you as soon as possible!!!!

Your Girlfriend Katrina!

Letter 18

Hi my Michael!

Did you know how much I'm happy again because I writing my letter to my dear Michael! If somebody would ever tell me that I will wait a letter from a man more than anything else in my life I would not believe at all. But it is really so. When I go to work, when I work I think of you and I know that at this time you probably sleep. It is so amazingly. Every day you see the sun which I have already seen you meet the moon that already was in my bedroom. I take a step into the new day everytime earlier than you. Everytime I ask the sun to send you the warm and gentle beams. And when I say good-bye to the sun and go to sleep - you wakes up and sees these beams of the sun. And I hope every night you see the most sweet dreams because at this time your woman with name Katrina thinks of you! I'm so need your kind and tender words Michael. I'm so want to hear that you think of me and wait for me.

I was afraid that today I cannot write to you. I was in clinic only a few minutes today. And these minutes the computer was inaccessible. But now I have some minutes before I go. Right now I will have a full medical inspection. I will give all analyses of my blood and other. I will be surveyed by all doctors. I must have good results to get the approval of Ministry of Health. If everything will be fine I will have medical approval to leave my country. But it does not disturb me absolutely because I know that I am absolutely healthy. We have here similar inspections every month because we have no right to work if we have any disease. I don't worry about this inspection. I think if we will meet Michael, I will fall asleep in your hands right at the airport. I think I will have interview soon and I worry every day more and more. I'm so hoping that we will meet. I hope that all my diligences will not be spent in vain and I will get your embrace as the award. Please tell me that you feel it just as I feel. By the way, today is Olga's true birthday! You already know how we celebrated her birthday with a cake. We had free evening and we have decided to celebrate earlier because we knew that today Olga will have "out-clinic day" and we will not have time. Today I didn't have "out-clinic day" because today I will have a medical inspection. I do not know when Olga will return today. Maybe only late at night. Today she is 31 year old as me.

Michael, I wanted to tell you that today has happened something bad and this time it is not a joke unfortunately. Maybe I shouldn't tell you but I was so frightened that I cannot hold it inside. Today at night when I slept I have suddenly heard a terrible sound of a breaking glass! I at once have woken up but I could not understand anything absolutely. And at this moment right into my room has flown a brick and having broken the window-pane this brick has fallen in several centimeters from me. I was frightened so much I could not understand anything and I simply instinctively have rushed onto a floor and have hidden under my bed. And at this moment other stones has flown into my room breaking windows and glasses in my apartment. I did not know what to do. Stones could not strike me because my bed protected me. But I have been frightened so that I simply has closed my ears by my hands and cried. Then everything has stopped. But I continued to lay under my bed. I was afraid even to look out from under my bed. We haven't here even militia and phones. Never in my life I was so frightened. After some time I nevertheless have stood up from under a bed. I have looked through the broken window but of course I haven't seen there anybody. I do not understand who did it and why. I have run to Olga and I have seen that her windows are broken as well. And not only in her house but in some other houses as well. We have cleaned her apartment and then have returned to my apartment together. But I could not fall asleep this night anymore. I do not know who did it. Olga say that probably it was young addicts who simply had a fun because if someone would really want to harm us they could simply enter our apartments. But I really don't understand why someone did it. Now I'm ok, Michael! I want to finish my letter with good thoughts. And I will tell you something good! I waited for this news for a long time. Today I finally got the invitation! I will have the interview with the commission! It is the most important point for me. I was preparing to this for a long time. After that I will pass the interview I will find out the final decision! The commission will inform me their decision and you and me will find out whether we will meet or not. I don't want to say "IF" but it is really a very difficult and tense moment. I have to calm down myself. My worry - our enemy. I think I'm ready. You should be with me in your thoughts!!! I have almost all documents which should impress the commission. I am sure that everything I did will help us. Please tell me that you believe in it. Be with me in your thoughts. I hope nothing bad will happen to me anymore. And I am happy that Olga and me didn't get any traumas today. I'm ok and it is most important. I will be thinking of you so please think of me as well. With all my tenderness.

Your girlfriend Katrina.

Letter 19

Hi my dear Michael!

I'm writing to you this letter and I'm smiling! I'm so happy!!! I think everything most difficult has remained behind us! I had the interview! I knew that it will be difficult conversation but I could not imagine at all that I must answer to so many questions. And prior to the beginning of interview I have been so worried but as soon as they have asked the first question I have ceased to worry absolutely. I'm simply sat and looking directly into eyes of the commission simply and straight answered to questions. I spoke everything what I think in all sincerity as always. They asked me actually about everything! They asked me about my life about my childhood about death of my parents about terrorism about my work about my last relationship. They have read all documents which I has collected. They asked me why I work voluntary in such a difficult places. They asked me about my belief in God. I saw on their faces that they expected from me another answers but I just spoke sincerely everything what in my heart. They said that such an answers are the big rarity for the applicant because usually applicants do not answer in this way. Usually applicants think some time and try to find answer which would be a most convenient for the commission. And first I thought that my answers have not satisfied them but they said that it was unusual and my answers have pleased them. They said that "bitter truth" is always better than "sweet" flattery. Besides, they really have been impressed with the fact that I had such a great support from many people living in different regions.

Michael! Maybe in some hours I will find out the decision!!!!! I can't believe. I feel that I did all right. Today I saw my parents in my sleep-dream and they was smiling to me. I know that it is their approval. I always knew that dream will never simply fall into hands from the sky. I know that if you want the dream to come true you must do for this purpose all you can. And I really did my best. I hope God will help us. After all difficulties, after all efforts I believe that everything will be fine! I worry but my heart say that I should smile. And I'm smiling. I feel that I will meet you. And our meeting at the airport will be beautiful and romantic. I will tell you everything I will feel at that moment. I will tell you how was my flight and what I was thinking about. You will tell me how you was waiting for me at the airport. And then we will have a wonderful time together. We will walk, spend evenings, watch funny and scary movies, and I will be hiding under your hand at the most scary moments... And when there will be thunder-storm at the street, we will be sitting near a window and drinking hot tea. How I want to have a breakfast with you! How I want to shout together with you at the baseball stadium or simply to lay on a bed and talk about life. How I want all this - simple things which will give to us so many joy. If everything will be fine I will start the most difficult process - preparation of my suitcase!!! Some minutes ago I was talking to the boss and he has told that probably in some minutes I will find out an exact date of beginning of my vacation! So I have to go! My legs shiver as if I'm a schoolgirl!!!
Wish me luck and think of me!

Your Girlfriend Katrina.

Letter 20


I even do not know what to tell you first. I simply hope that you will be happy! The most important finest news - I did it!!! I've got the visa! I'm very happy!!!! As well I have found out that I will get vacation June, 22, 2009. I have been to the company that reserves airway tickets. I've asked them how I can reach airport (DTW) and how much it costs. They have offered to me the ticket that costs $1245.80 USD. I've asked them to find cheapest ticket because this price is expensive for me. They have answered they have a cheaper roundtrip ticket and the beginning of the flight June, 25, 2009. It costs $984.2 USD. It was the best variant for me and I asked them to reserve a ticket but they refused because they can't reserve the ticket without advance payment. I must pay full cost. I have asked if I can pay a part of money now and the other part later. They have told that it is possible but I will be limited by term. And if I will not pay the full cost of the ticket within of this term I will lose already nested money. I have agreed because it is the only chance for me because I must give to anti-emigration committee a data about my payment. By this moment I had only the concrete sum of money which I had after all my expenses. I paid $470 USD. But it was not enough for them. In a panic all what Olga and I could do - we pawned our earrings and gold rings and I got $75.95 USD. That is all I could do. The number of the flight on which I will get the ticket is Delta 31 In-flight Services. The time of departure from Moscow is 12:05 pm. The time of arrival in Detroit is 6:33 pm. I will change a plan in New York number of the flight Delta 3583 In-flight Services. After that I will fly to Detroit, to you. I know that probably I simply must tell that I can't come to you because I haven't the remaining sum. I know that I promised to do all by self and I was sure that I can. I did not want to ask you. But after I did everything I did I cannot simply tell that I will not come to you. I have passed through so many difficulties and I have overcome the most difficult. But all the same I have disgusting feeling that I could not fulfill the promise. I am always ready to do all what is possible, to fulfill my promises but at the same time I understand that any person could get in such a situation. To get the visa I have spent much more money than I expected. But people were ready to help me only if I will pay them. I paid more than $650 dollars to get all documents I paid in municipal committee and in the ministry. Even officers in army garrison have compelled me to pay for their help. I did not expect all this but up to the last moment I was sure that I still can make everything. I expected that I can get a vacation payment. We get a vacation payment after ending of a vacation. I asked to give me this money now because I need this money urgently. But at the last moment I have got the answer that I can get this money urgently only in case of serious illness or for example in case of death of the relative. I feel so guilty. I must bring all ready documents to Ministry and anti-emigration committee on appointed day because if not I will not be able to come to you at all. I was sure that nothing can prevent our meeting. But I must pay remaining sum. It is $440 USD. And I must pay money before June 23, evening. Otherwise I will lose my nested money and our jewelry will be sold out simply in vain. I know that I should not ask you and I'm very ashamed to do it. I understand that probably you have no very strong feelings towards me. And I understand that it is a big money. I know it and for me twice difficult to address to you. But also comprehension of my position convinces me that any person could get in similar situation. I want to meet you and I say sincerely that I need your help. I understand that I put you in inconvenient position. But I'm simple person, I'm the simple woman. I am not the wizard. Any person could get in a similar situation. And maybe I really simply had to tell you that I can't meet with you because I could not provide my travel completely. But I cannot simply refuse our meeting because then all my diligence, forces, nerves, means will be spent in vain. I understand it's a big amount for you to lend me. You are not obliged to help me. And $650 dollars which I have spent to get the visa and $546 that I have given for the ticket are huge money for me. But I want you to know that I have given everything not for the sake of myself but for the sake of us, for the sake of you and me. And I was happy all this time. I'm asking you to help me just because I need help urgently. I would never ask you about anything without reasons. If you want to meet me to help me to make our meeting please send money to the help before June 23, evening. I want you to be confident in my sincerity that is why I send you the view of my visa. I want you to see the result of my efforts. I address to you only because I need it right now because the anti-emigration committee waits for me with all documents and I am obliged to come to committee according to appointed term. If you can help me I will tell you what I have found out. Olga said that you can help me with the help of remittance system. So we have addressed to the nearest bank. We have been told that they use the system "Western Union". They have told that it is very convenient office for me and this system works always and reliably. I give you necessary elements for sending money with the help of "Western Union":
Post Russia
Gugkaeva 6
Vladikavkaz, Russia 362031
Irina Gawrusyowa.
Irina is my travel agent, she will get money and agree my ticket. I can't get your money self cause my passport with all papers in Ministry and anti-emigration committee.

I've been informed in bank about how it works. For picking up the money I need to know and tell to employee of bank your full name, your full address, amount and the confidential number - Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN). You will get this number in your bank if you will send your help. Only with presence of all this information I will be able to pick up your help. I do not know what answer I will get from you. I'm afraid very much that you will not help me but I want to tell you I really need you and I simply can't endure the thought that I did almost everything but I will not meet you. I understand that it's big money. I have given all my forces but together we are stronger. I really ask you to help me. I will give you back all your money at the earliest opportunity. I have written you honestly and sincerely. Are you with me?

Your Katrina.

Letter 21

Hi my love Michael!

Michael, I am happy you will help me. Don't worry about sending money to Irina, she is good girl and I trust her, but what is more I will go to the bank with her together, so don't worry and send it as soon as you can.

When I waited your letter, I was so tense. I am very grateful to you! I really was afraid to ask the help because people in Russia do not like to help each other. Olga always helps me as well as I help her. We never ask something in exchange to the help. Now in my life there are two people who I can rely completely on. Now in my life there are you and I feel myself as behind a stone wall. I am afraid of nothing. Now I know that we will be together and I can thank you not by words but my feelings. I can prove to you that you are worthy of most best in this life and if I can give you the best, I will make it. And deal is not that you have decided to help me. The reason of my happiness and pleasure is that you understand me. I ask you the help, and it is really necessary for me. Your words gave calmness to my heart. My dear! Your words have convinced me that now I meet you and I will be happy as never before. You have offered your help and it is very big money. You are a true man and I am very grateful to you. I ask you only what I really need. But I want you to know, that I would be grateful to you in any case. I am grateful to you already now. Any your help is a big support for me. I will be grateful to you for any help. I did not want to put you into inconvenient position. Please forgive me once again. The word of honor,- if I could do without your help, I would not began to ask you about the help. You are the last person to whom I has addressed for the help, but not the first. I think nevertheless I must explain why I have addressed to you. I want you to understand that I really did all what I could. I expected that I could convince the boss of mine to give me vacation payment now. If I could receive this money now, I would pay my travel completely. But I was refused. Also, I have been compelled to buy new windows for my apartment. I have prepared this money for the ticket. But I cannot leave my apartment with broken windows. That's why I have bought a glass and have employed the repairman to fix it. I could not make it by myself. And of course I have been compelled to pay for his work. In Russia nobody will make it free-of-charge. I did not want to tell to you about all these things. But I want you to understand that I did not want to ask you. I really tried to make everything what in my forces. But I did not expect all these unforeseen circumstances. But now I have you, you are my hope and support, and I think that if I ask you the help, it is not a sin. I really want to be with you. I understand that I must do all by self. But I could not and I leave my destiny in your hands. I need you and I wait your answer, your love and your help. Once again forgive me. I so want to thank you. I'm so happy that I will see you. Simply know, that I am sincerely grateful to you and I will prove to you it when I will arrive to you. And of course I will give you back all your money as soon as I will get my vacation money! But now I have given all what I could. And all what I have now are my Feelings, the sincerity of which I think I has proved; and Hope that you will not throw me now when the most difficult things are behind. I want to thank you again. I'm happy that I will see you. Now I am sure in it on 1000%. And it so calms me. Together we are much stronger, and to go thru obstacles together is much easier. I really haven't anybody more except of you and Olga. My dear, you know, I have never been on a plane before. And I should tell that I am afraid. I so often saw in TV-news about accidents - air crashes, when all passengers perish. Are you afraid to fly by plane? I am really afraid. And I am afraid that I will have feeling of a nausea. You should teach me how to not worry in a plane! I hope for you. Your yesterday, your today, your for ever - Katrina!

Letter 22

Hi my soul Michael.

I cannot write much. But I have some minutes to write to you!
Don't worry about sending money I understand what you said, but don't forget that I must pay at the latest June 23.

Michael, you cannot imagine what occurs in my heart! Thoughts about our meeting makes me happy! I know we will meet and simply I haven't any words. My heart completely obeys to you! You are my man! Yesterday I began to knit a sweater for you. It will be my gift. I knit a sweater of angora wool. Do you like sweaters? Do you like to wear sweater in the winter? I'm absolutely sure that you will like this sweater. I'm making it with such a big love. I'm making it so studiously. It will be the best sweater in your town! The color is slightly darkest than white and it's very beautiful color. I want to make a small inscription on a front part of a sweater(opposite to heart) - the name or something. First I wanted to make your name - Michael". But now I think maybe you want some other inscription. I do not know what you would like maybe some abbreviation.. .I think male's sweater must be with the male's name or maybe you want the name of your city or name of your state?.. Or maybe you want me to not make any names at all? You have 3 days to make the choice of what name you want to see on a chest. If you will not tell me I will decide by myself... I will present to you this sweater at the airport. Do you like my idea? I assure - you will be admiring!!! I use for a base the pictures from modern magazines of clothes but your sweater will be better! Because I will do it with special love. Olga will help me so that I have had time to finish it before my arrival to you! Could you tell me the size of your chest and the length of your hand from a shoulder up to a wrist? Or you just can tell me a size of clothes that you wear! It will help me! By the way, I will also bring for you a small russian souvenir! And some other souvenirs for other people who are dear for you! I do not know how to thank you for everything. You have changed my life. I'm so happy! Now I have no any sad thoughts in my head. The only thing that frightens me is the plane. I'm afraid that I will have feeling of a nausea. And I'm afraid that the plane will fall! Forgive me maybe it is silly for you. But I so often saw tv-programs about planes which fell. Michael, I want to have the parachute!!!! Soon we will be together!!! If we fated to become single whole I believe it will happen. Our hearts are like two great oceans. They are vast and very deep yet calm an peaceful on the surface. Our feelings run very deep and they are very strong. Sometimes we get afraid that we will be pulled under by the current. I dream that our two oceans will meet in a powerfull wave that will shake the very earth. And when all is done there will be one vast beautiful ocean, beautiful, powerful and forever...one heart, one ocean. Michael you have given me much more than you can realize. You are my prayer my shelter from hopelessness and despair and only you can keep the spark in my soul burning bright.

Your Katrina.