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Letter(s) from Debra Heavens to Pat (USA)
I hope that you fine and in good health,i'm really glad that we can exchange emails and i hope that soon we both can sit down and have a cup of coffee,i would also love to chat with you,i never thought i'll be able to chat with you after i left the site...though am new to this,i feel that i've found all what i want and desire,i did like you to know a little more about me,my life has been filled with heartbreaks and i don't want anymore hurt or pains,I want to find someone, who wants a relationship based on "Truth, Real Love,Compassion, Friendship, Loyalty, and Honesty!!!! I also want to be able to be "Romantic" to her with Love, not her telling me things like "If you love me, you will do "this or that" for me". I want to be able to do anything to make her happy, because "I Love Her", not because she tells me to do it. Know what I mean. I want to feel EXCITED when we Kiss!! When we Hug!! When we Hold hands while we are in public or our home.
I'm a realist,i lost my folks when i was 5,i grew up with my grand parents whom i lost them in the hurricane in New Orleans,i really don't have anyone close to me in my life right now cept them and now presently am all alone and it's only the almighty God that's keeping me alive. I am not "materialistic"!! I would rather have someone to respect, care for, and love from my heart & soul, than money!! Yes, money is nice, but it can't buy you real love.I just want it to be, that anything we were to "own", as "ours", not "mine" or "yours". Yes, I know that there are somethings that will be mine, and she's, but do you know what I mean? I want to be able to "spoil her" by opening the door for her, or carrying things for her,doing favours,for no special reason, but that I care for her.I too have been hurt before, but I don't hold it against other women because they have not hurt me yet.. I hope that we can get to know each other better, and see how things might go.I can not "promise" that I might say or do something that hurts you, but I can promise that if I do, it won't be on purpose, it will be on accident. See, I don't know everything about your past yet, and I don't know what upsets you right now, but hope to know you better, so I don't say or do anything to upset you, because I hate that when I upset someone special to me.
I love going out,taking walks down the park and thinking about my life,i love observing nature and cooking is also one of my hobbies.I'm a really sensitive and attentive girl. I'm an observer of people (not a voyeur!). I like to figure people out. I like to notice the small detail about people. I like to know what makes them tick and what excites them. I like to know how to make them happy, how to make them feel special. I can be really romantic. With my love i like to surprise her by doing special things. Like leave a flower on their car windscreen. Leave a card for them at their favourite shop for the shop worker to give to them. I like to send flowers when she's feeling down. I prefer private dates, with my love and myself alone. I guess i like the private moments when we can share intimate things. Talk about plans, desires, feelings.. As I said before, i'm quite physical. I love to hug and touch and be touched. I love to show affection to my love and i love it when she's very affectionate with me. When i find the love who i feel is my soul mate, i look forward to when we can spend time alone, cuddling on the sofa, watching tv/films. Making out, caressing and kissing. I can't wait to have sex with my future love. I am a sexual person and i love the thought of being intimate with her in every way. I want a lady who feels the same way. Who has the same sexual appetite as i do and desires to as intimate as i do. But all of this must be within the context of an exclusive relationship.It doesn't matter to me if my future love has a sexual history. As far as I'm concerned, when we begin dating we start from fresh.Her past is not of importance to me.
I asked myself a couple of questions with the answers and i hope this gives you insight to the kind of person i'm.....I grew up in New Orleans and moved after the hurricane katrina. Where have you been? Do you like to travel?I've not really been anywhere but i did like to travel.I did like to travel to paris and some other romantic cities. Are you serious about meeting someone?I'm serious and ready.I have been hurt by ladies all too often.. And yet i have so much passsion and love that i want to pour out on one special love. I want to make her feel like there is no better lady on the face of the earth. I don't want to put her on a pedestall because that would not be fair on her. But i want her to know that she has one woman who thinks that she's is so important, so needed and wanted. I want her to feel that she has someone who is loyal to the utmost, faithful and dedicated to her needs. I want to be able to satisfy all her needs. Emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual and most importantly sexual. My greatest pleasure is knowing that i can provide all these things with Gods help.. Are you willing to move for the right relationship?I would,cos i've done it before and i would not mind doing it again. What do you do for a living?Well i used to be a sales rep and later moved on to become a bussiness owner.Have you ever met anyone online?You the second person am talking to and i hope it's worthwhile.What do you really enjoy doing? What you do to have fun? What kinds of music and movies do you like?I love watching comedies and romance. I also love dramas and thrillers. Loved the Sex and the city. I love fantasy
films. Lord of the Rings is my favourite.I love the L-WORD series. What makes you laugh, smile, and cry? Crazy funny people. Sarcastic people like Dr Cox on Scrubs. I love his character. I love intelligent commedy like political satire. I love Robin Williams, Jim Carey and Mike Myers. They crack me up so much. I love watching those home video clips of kids doing hilarious funny things. Kids make me laugh.The things they say. You never expect it. What makes me cry, i'm always moved when i see scenes on tv between parent and child when they are struggling or dealing with the relationship. Reminds me of my mom. And also cos i miss my mom. I hope that this would be an end to my search for a true partner.I can't wait to hear from you soon,i hope you've a lovely week.I attached a couple of my recent pics and i hope you love them.
I did want to let you know I read EVERY word and smiled at some of the lines, wanted to give you a hug on others and felt your passion throughout. You seem to be a very open and honest woman. Something I've had difficulty finding in previous relationships. I too am an open and honest woman and appreciate it in you.
I too have been hurt by women who I thought would be in it with me for the long haul. I guess it wasn't in God's plan.
With that said, yes! I'm so ready to settle down, love and be loved with that woman I can't wait to see or get home to when we're apart. The woman I hold and am held by as we sleep or watch a movie. The woman I listen to with an open heart and mind and she knows she can trust me with her deepest secrets as I do her with mine.
I want a woman who stimulates my heart and soul. One who knows just how, where and when to touch me to make me feel all is well in the world. And one who will allow me to bury my head in her hands when I am tired and worn. This and more she will receive from me.
One who can share my triumps and tragedies. One who will smile from her heart when she sees me or hears my voice, and I hers.
One who I can travel with and find the splendor of new places we discover. I love to travel!!! A simple road trip or a planned exotic vacation, it doesn't matter as long as we are together enjoying the magic and wonder of it all.I can't promise there won't be hurt or pain along the way, but what I can promise is that there will be no intentional hurt or pain. And that I will work with her to love the hurt and pain away and try never to repeat the same hurt and pain twice.Someone who will allow me to be fallible...to be human. Someone who will accept and give unconditional love..Someone who is as concerned with my physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional wellness as I am hers.I enjoy movies (thrillers, suspense, horror, drama, action, romantic and comedy). I love concerts and the theater.
I am of the nature of wanting to satisfy my partner as much as I desire being satisfied in all aspects of her being.I'M A VERY SHY AND A SENSITIVE LADY, MORE SO THAN NOT IM VERY SERIOUS 80 PERCENT OF THE TIME, WHEN I EXPRESS MY SELF. I GIVE WITH ALL MY HEART AND LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.I ACCEPT THE WAY YOU PRESENT YOURSELF TO ME AND GO FROM THAT,WITH OUT JUDGING ANYONE.
I ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS THAT COST NOTHING A LITTLE RESPECT ,TRUST ,AND DEDICATION. FIRST AND AT THE TOP OF MY LIST IS COMMUNICATION, HONESTY, AND OPENNESS,LISTEN BEFORE YOU REACT. PATIENCE,INDEPENDENCE, AFFECTION IS A GREAT ASSET TO ME .I BELIEVE IN WORKING SIDE BY SIDE AS A TEAM TOGATHER WHEN I HAVE A LOVER IN MY LIFE. NOT TO MUCH TO ASK FOR I DON’T THINK .JEALOUSY IS NOT A TRAIT I HAVE, IM VERY CONFIDENT IN WHO I AM AND MY ABILITIES TO TAKE CARE OF HOME SO MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER DOESN’T GO ASTRAY.POSITIVE ATTITUDES ARE ALSO SOMETHING I BELIEVE IN A LOT.THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS I REFRAIN FROM, AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Love is a delicate subject but the basis of a long lasting relationship is trust and without it we r nothing,but can u imagine in a far away country that i know little or nothing about lost and can't seem to find a way out,how can that be.I'm so lonely and i've nobody to hold on to and there's no one to pull me up.Maybe if u truly in search of a lady that would be truthful,respectful and loving you just met me,but fate only brought about us meeting here.
I need a man that would be ready to make me happy,a woman that would heal the wound of my broken heart,a woman that would see the better side of me,a woman that would not be aggressive and who would not want to hurt my feelins,i need real love and truth including honesty from my woman,trust is the basic foundation of a lasting relationship and i desire that we uphold our integrity towards each other.
Can you be that woman i seek and desire?I know that you are now receiving 100's of E-mails and you will continue to receive 100's more from insincere game players, jokers and dreamers they will tell you what they think you want to hear in order to gain your admiration and trust but only a very few will be totally honest and open their hearts for you. I am not one of those great pretenders.
Therefore I will not waste neither one of our valuable time by repeating the scores of messages that you have already received of how beautiful you are and how life can not be lived without you.Being realistic,nothing for real is going to happen or can happen until an actual physical meeting takes place. Until then everything is speculative unless something magical happens. Although there is a lot of truth in that the more we can learn about one another and the more we have in common the better the odds of a meeting becoming the beginning of that magical journey that we have both been dreaming of. I will not let Geographic boundaries obstruct my dreams from becoming reality; for the right woman I will relocate.
We already have one of the most important elements in common that would lead to a successful meeting. We are both sincere and have admirable qualities. Perhaps In the past we have experienced similar disappointments always given and contributing more to our relationship then our significant others. We have gone far above and beyond to make our relationship work without reciprocation or appreciation from our partners.
Although we have given and done our best we can't seem to find that SPECIAL SOMEONE we would consider as a lifelong partner, best friend,sole-mate, confidant, teacher, and passionate lover. We deserve the best because we are the best and we will not settle for anything less.So how is it that we both could be so perfect, beautiful and deserving and be with out our true soul-mate? Perhaps the reason is that all our past relationships have been nothing more then a trial or just a prerequisite so we would know for certain when we found the right person; then and only then would we be able to receive in return as much as we put into the relationship and appreciate and treasure what we have finally found. For these reasons I ask you to take a hard look at my profile; perhaps it will end your days of chasing rainbows and kissing frogs.Here and now is perhaps where you can start building a life instead of trying to find one. If you really want what you say you want, you need not search any longer. I have looked at 1000's and yes I mean thousands of profiles and yours was the only one that mesmerized, fascinated and captivated all my attention. If you're the one you will know the right thing to do; if your not, you will just walk on by not knowing that you have missed the chance of a lifetime.I would be looking forward to your reply later today.I would be waiting for your email.
Hugs and thoughts,
How've you been doing since morning,hope you fine and in good health,i know you must really be wondering why i should be sending you an email right now,well for you to know i've been at the airport since yesterday night,i could not get on a plane,I am indeed so sorry for not have written you an email to let you know wat was happening since yesterday night,i could not access ma mailbox inside the Airport since last night,i just saw someone with a laptop now and i begged the lady to please kindly allow me send an email...."I AM THE HAPPIEST WOMAN ON EARTH" although with still lil scurves to settle....am really not happy at the moment at wats happening to me now after I had high hopes on leaving here yesterday...its 12:00pm here now ....after i got the email you sent to me yesterday with the info to go get the money for ma hotel bills picked up...i went to the bank straight with the hotel manager tho and we actually collected it.....After i left the bank i got a cab to bring me to the airport only for me to be told at the airport here(MURTALA MUHAMMED AIRPORT) that ma return ticket had expired since 11th dec 2009 and that i would be needing a new return ticket (ONE WAY) to be outta here and it just weighed me down and I just dont know where to start from or what to do now..i tried explaining to the ticketing officer in charge at that moment there at the airport,i also begged immigration here,i pleaded with them for over 8hrs..i told them about my situation and everything but they simply told me that there was nothing that they could do to help me out ...i just dont know why this sort is happening to me ma dear..it really hurts tho..just hope you are doing okay and that everything is okay with you tho..i really appreciate everything you have said in the emails and I remain positive about everything...i really want us to be together and share the love that entails in our hearts together...i asked the ticketing officer how much the return ticket would be and he told me it would cost me $1850.50 (cos i had an expired ticket thats why its that cheap tho)i sold a wrist watch and some clothings i had and was able to realise $320 and the amount that i would be needing now to get the ticket in the morning is $1530.50 US dollars ...its all really so sad for me at the moment tho and i just dont know wat to do...Pat it really sucks dear but i dont know wat else to do..i just have to manage and bear with the situation of things..wat is holding me back here now is me having to get a return ticket and am outta of here for good.....hope you are doing okay ma love.......i really appreciate every lil thing you have shown and done for me...........i am really not happy tho that i am seeming to be a burden to you....but i know definately that i would turn out to be there for you also...the ticketing officer said that i am getting the ticket on here that cheap cos i have an expired one with me tho....so i just would need to get it from on here at the airport here, once i get the return ticket it's direct to Richmond International Airport and i would let you have my flight details so you know when i would arrive....dont know wat to do now dear...hope you are doing okay am really worried about you also ya know cos 101% of ma heart is occupied with thots of u and u alone now..really understand why i am feeling this way tho .....hope to read from you as soon as possible..love u Loads may....love always....debra
P.S PLEASE AM STILL AT THE AIRPORT LOUNGE WITH NO MONEY,NO FOOD AND STRANDED,PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU READ THIS EMAIL KINDLY LET'S ARRANGE SOMETHING PLEASE BABY.
Pat you promised not to make me cry and sad,you promised to end all this pains and agony and now you'r trying to make things worse,i just checked now online and i don't have any name online that states internet scam,i've always told you the truth and this would prove to you am real.
Pat love has no limit, no set time...it comes when you decide to let it.
Here are a few things I wish to do with you at some point in this lifetime:
Be your best friend.
Get caught with you in the rain.
Dance with you in the rain.
Stargaze on a clear night.
Watch the sunset together.
Spend all day with you doing nothing.
Moonlit walks on the beach.
Be more proud of you than I already am at this very moment.
Go on a carriage ride through the park.
Do a crossword together.
Go to brunch.
Have a disagreement (it could/will only make us stronger).
Go for a twilight horseback ride.
Spend the rest of my life with you.
Have our picture taken together.
Eat ice cream with you.
Make love to you passionately.
Go to a museum together.
Talk to each other using only body language.
Give you space when you need it.
Accept you totally and completely - flaws and all (I already do).
Discuss current events in a heated debate.
Have you see the error of your ways from aforementioned heated debate and make mad, torrid love to you, in the midst of all that passion.
Carve our names into a tree/table.
Go for a walk at dusk together.
Be one with you.
Send you a singing telegram.
Spend all night thinking of 101 sweet things to do for you.
Hold you and gaze into your eyes and realize how much I love you...and tell you.
Gently run my hand across your cheek and look into your eyes.
Blindfold you and take you somewhere romantic.
Spend my life making you happy.
Feel your heartbeat.
See our unborn child/children in your eyes.
Go roller/ice skating together.
Give you a backrub just because.
ALWAYS being honest with each other.
Go hiking/camping together.
Have our first fight, make up and feel a stronger bond because we very successfully weathered the storm - together.
Laugh at someone together.
Share a plate of spaghetti.
Give you a stuffed animal just because.
Go on a road trip across America.
Count thunder together during a thunderstorm.
Envelop you in my soul.
Cook your favorite meal/meals.
Know you better than you know yourself.
Go to a Renaissance Fair.
Plant a tree in our yard together.
Look over at you during an office/military/family party and have you know without me saying a word - that I love you.
Be able to say "I love you" in 89 different ways - in 89 different countries.
Hold you when you're at your saddest and comfort you when you need it the most.
Be the one you come to for that comfort and holding.
Wipe away the days' stresses and issues, with just one hug/kiss.
Grow old with you.
From time to time you ask me why I chose you ... what is so special about you? Well, the reason is simple; I chose you because you are YOU!!! I have never had anyone talk to me the way you do. I have never had anyone just look at me and make me feel beautiful. You do that to me! You make me feel special and wanted. As liberal as I can be, I would never do anything to hurt you. You mean more to me than you realize. I am hoping that one day I can prove all of this to you! I want you for you!
What is a few short years to live in hell. That is all I get around here.
No more I will pay the bills.
No more I will drive the car.
No more I will wash, iron & mend any clothes.
No more I will have to eat the leftover articles that was cooked the day before.
This is no way to live.
Either is it any way to die.
At night I can not sleep.
You win, I can't take it any longer, I know you have been waiting for this to happen. I hope it makes you very happy, this is not an easy thing to do, but I've got to the point where there is nothing to live for, a little bit of kindness from you would of made everything so different, but all that ever interested you was the dollar.
I know how bad I feel and totally hopeless and that I am not doing myself any good… so why not commit suicide? I guess I am writing for prayers because I know I shouldn’t kill myself but I just cannot get the strength to go on anymore. I read the verse you had (“If I walk in darkness without one ray of light let me trust the Lord, let me rely upon God.” Isaiah 50:10) but I also believe that God would not give us more then we can handle and I have more than I can handle.I'm so tired of hurting and being alone,My head hurts so much from crying but if I take anything for it I'm scared I won't stop and I would want to stop.
Nobody cares why should I?Why am I such a terrible person. Nothing I do is right. I don't understand.
I don't have any choice in the matter. To make everything better I have to die. I can't make it right by living. I'm so scared I want out but oh I don't know.
I wish he would call to say everything is all right. I've lost the most important thing in my life. I'm so very tired of being alone, and making everyone miserable.
I'm so fat, ugly and stupid, how can I expect me to be able to do anything right? I've failed at everything. There is nothing for me here. I don't want to go on. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. Please believe me. I love you all so very much, and I don't want to hurt you anymore.
I'm so cold, please do something. I can't stand this empty feeling that I'm having. My head is horrible. Stop the pounding it hurts so much. I have no control over anything in my life. I'm breaking into pieces.
P.S. Disregard all the mean things I've said in this letter, I have said a lot of things to you I didn't really mean and I hope you get well and wish you the best of everything.
You are my everything. Thank you for loving me the way no one can. You understand me and you know just how to make things right. You will never know just how much I love you, but I will spend the rest of my days trying to show you. You saved me from the worst, and you are always there for me. Fighting is never an option and making love is always as sweet as the first time. No matter what, there will never be another for me and I will always keep you safe. I love you... for all eternity.
I've told you many times and I'll still want to tell you again, I really thank God for you in my life. Maybe in this lifetime, you will never know how much I love, I care and cherish you. Whenever you're riding on the road, I'm worried for you because you mean so much to me, even more precious than my own life! I can never afford to lose you, Dear.
Though at times you did not tell me verbally that you care, your actions speaks it all. Those little things that you did for me will always be kept in my heart, where you'll always be. I know at times I'm getting out of hand and hard to handle, your patience is always the alternative for us. As a result, we don't quarrel often. Thanks for all these, Dear!
In the past I had always yearned for a relationship that is genuine and lasting, as for all these, I've found them in you! I'll make sure that the hand I'll be holding will forever be yours. Whether we're living in a fairy tale or a non-fairy tale world, I still believe there is such a thing as "Live happily ever after", and even if you don't believe it, let's make it happen in our relationship!
I really look forward to the day when the both of us will be walking down the red carpet hand in hand and in the name of love, we exchange marriage rings looking into each other eyes saying, "I do not regret for choosing you in my life."I love you because you make me look forward to each day. You're my everything, a dream come true. There are no words to express what I feel for you. There are no songs as beautiful as the music that fills my soul when I hear your voice. There are no roses as lovely as your smile. Nothing moves me like you do. There are no days brighter than the days I spend talking to you on the phone. You're my light in the darkness. There could never be words strong enough to express my love for you. I love you with my body, soul, and mind.
I know I don't tell you everyday, but you are the most beautiful lady I know, both on the inside as well as the outside. Your beauty is so captivating! It's not even possible for me to stop thinking about you even for a minute; you are always on my mind. You do something to me... something so indescribable there are no words that I can say that can even give you the slightest clue as to how much I love you. You have truly made me the happiest man on earth; I have never ever been happier in all my life. I have no clue as to what I did to be so, so lucky and I will be eternally grateful for you and the love you give to me. I will never stop loving you.