Letter(s) from Elena Smetchko to Nathaniel (USA)

Letter 1

hello again!!
sorry, I just want to add few things...
I think last time I wrote you not all my thoughts...
My mind is always in a mess when I write you because it's hard to write everything to somebody who is so far away. I don't remember if I wrote last time I've never been married, don't have kids but I love them and they love me! I And I want to tell you that I always wanted to find an older man.
Why? I have two answers..
Firstly, I think older men are much more serious and they can take care of me, they are more experienced in life and can teach me many things. Have you heard a saying "The older the violin, the sweeter the music"? I believe in it... I think I'm not that young already but I don't have much experience in life and I want to have someone who has more experience in life then me.
Secondly... maybe I'm not right about it... but I want to be honest I've always had such worry... if I marry a man nearly my age...
and after some years I will become not that young and beautiful... I think it's more hard for a woman to be attractive then for a man...
and he will find a younger mistress and I will become very miserable.
I don't want my man to be unfaithful. I know I can be faithful to my man and I will never cheat on him.
But this is just my worries. This is not my goal. Please tell me if you think you will love your woman at any age and not find a younger one? Can you be faithful?
Also I want to tell you that I learned english in university, so I don`t use any translators, and I can speak english as good as I write on it.
I hope we will have no problems in communications. I feel that you are very nice man I really want to meet you. If you will not like me or something else we can be just friends.
I hope I will get my work visa soon in Moscow and all documents and I come to you! I don't have any area limits with this visa so I can work where I want. I don`t know exact day of my arrival, but as soon as I will know I will write it to you.
You know, I'm just trying to be honest with you and write you all my thoughts on different issues. Please be always honest with me also....
I will write you later, I will look if I have more nice photos to sendyou.

Hope that you like my new pics! Have a good day!

kiss you, Alena