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Letter(s) from Natalia Vaganova to Tony (Australia)
Hi my love,
I today have come to the Internet of cafe in hope that I can see your letter, but unfortunately it was not. And I am again upset. I understand, that you are possible very much busy the work.
But it seems to me, that you have forgotten about me. Certainly I understand, that it not so. But it is always very difficult for me of that you do not write to me. It is difficult to wait, but thus my expectations are empty. I would like to cry that I cannot that with it to make. You my air without which I cannot live. You that which charge me energy and does me happy.
Probably it and is silly, but it is really enough to me to know, that on this planet there is a person for whom I am necessary which loves me. But when I do not receive your letters, I feel lonely.
I the same as well as all women. Certainly I have the features. But me that the attention is necessary for me unites with the others, the loved the person. YOUR attention is necessary for me.
You know, I sometimes would like to be your tear, tear of happiness. Which is born with you and gently concerns your person. And then dies, having touched your sweet lips. To me it is valid very much you does not suffice, there are no your gentle touches, your sweet lips. I love you and very much on you I miss. With love, your Nataliya.
Hello dear Tony!!!
It`s good to hear from you. Thank you for your letter again. Dear Tony, your letters as bearns of the sun warm my heart.
I`m glad when I receive them. And you become interesting to me every day. I`m glad that we can to learn eachother and I would know about you more. You like me. I very much would like to learn more about your interests, what you do at leisure and about your work. I send for you my new photos I hope you can able to send me your pics also.
How you like to have a rest? For example, I like, to have a rest on the nature, especially in village at the grandmother where the beautiful nature.
I like to walk on coast of river Vyatka, it proceeds about that village where there lives my grandmother.
I go there usually when I have holiday on work, or in the days off. There are come my relatives, my cousins and sisters sometimes, and we together go to make barbecues. Are you like shish kebabs? What kind of film are you like to looking? What kind of music are you listen?
What are you doing when I sleep, when I write you the letter?
My favorite films are "Titanic" and "Gone with the wind". I like films about love and serials, and also I like comedies.
But I haven`t more spare time for looking cinema because I working a lot of time.
Usually I listen the radio because there are many different kinds of music, I like pop, rock, jazz, blues, classical music and relax music.
Sometimes I have a time which a not good, and in this time I like to sing songs, but not very well. It seems funny and silly but I do.
I wish to learn from you about your job. Tony, are you like your job?
Are you go to work with pleasure? Have you many friends and colleagues on your work? I think that yes.
You so nice man and I am sure that you don`t have enemies which want to you angrily.
I working as tutor in the kindergarten, I love my work and I love children very much, but I don`t have children.
And so would like if they near me were. I think that I will have a family and will have children soon.
I don`t know when it would, but I hope that my dreams will be for real.
Tony I work in the basic six days per one week. And you? Every morning I get up at 7:00 am and I do morning exercises, then I take a shower and I have breakfast. Then I go to work, usually I reach there by the bus as a kindergarten
where I work located far from me. I think that my work easy, but a lot of patience and attention as children cannot stand all time for a place demands and all difficultly follow. I have a dinner at 12:00 pm and at this time I have time to eat a break, now I can and correspond with you. As the Internet cafe is about my work. Tony I hope that you will be always sincerely with me, I sincerely and I will tell to you all that you will ask. I am nothing hide from you. I hope that you will tell me all too.
I would not want that we had secrets one from another. I will come to you, but I should be completely sure in you.
Mum and my girlfriend transfer you the congratulations and send you regards. I send you a kiss, not many, but one and very gentle.
I send you the photos which to you should be pleasant. Inform me that it to be pleasant to you in me? Can you do not wish to communicate with me both I am not pleasant to you also you have no desire with me to communicate as I to you it am not pleasant? I also want that you wrote to me every day and I had with you dialogue every day.
I hope that you receive it when will open my letter. Where your letter? I again miss without it!!!!
Write to me faster if you can!
Hello my dear Tony!
Tony, I am very glad and it was so nice to hear from you to see your letter.
And it is very pleasant to me to have acquaintance to you.
We have already learned about each other more and I think that between us should not any secrets. Isn`t it Tony?
Have you any secrets from me? I do not hide anything from you and always sincere with you.
I will answer on all your questions. I think that we should learn more about each other if we shall decide to meet ever or even to live together.
After I have better learned you, so it is pleasant to me to receive your letters. And I am happy from that that you write to me such sincere letters.
Darling I wish to inform you that I very strongly love flowers and the most beautiful flowers which to me strongly tulips are pleasant it. I send you the photos where with set of colours.
For me distance it not a problem though I never with it collided, but I think that for people which love each other it not a problem.
For the sake of love people make such not conceivable acts, that the distance seems a trifle. There are no such problems which people cannot solve, for the sake of the love they are ready on all. At times it seems, that time has stopped, and miles between you are longer than light years.
These months of expectation can appear the present test for durability.
Many do not maintain it. There are the things capable both to strengthen, and to destroy communications,there is no time connected you.
All in your hands Tony you ask me as we can overcome such huge distance between us. I wish to answer you this question so.
I do not know as you consider, but I think, that for the man and the woman, which sincerely love each other, and which are ready on everything to give this love really each other.
But before really to understand, whether they love each other, it is necessary to have direct enough dialogue.
I feel very happy. Tony, and what you feel? And what you feel when receive my letters? You as a beam of the sun warm me when I receive and I read your letters. It is very pleasant to communicate with you, you like me very much, and at me all ideas on you.
Many of my girlfriends, mum with grandmother ask me about I from them hide what secret. As I began to smile more and became very happy recently.
I am assured that they know the reason of that I to smile began often. As I told her about you, and they only were glad for me and for you, and also for
ours with you of the relations. They speak that you doing me happy. And I completely agree with them. You as a beam of the sun warm me when I receive and I read your letters.
It is very pleasant for me have communication with you, you are very much like me, and at me all ideas on you. Many of my girlfriends, mum with the
grandmother ask me about secrets which I hide from them. As I began to smile more and became very happy recently. My mother has told to me that I began to smile during a dream. And it is rare with me happens. Today at night she has glanced to me in a room and has seen, that when I sleep, I was smile.
And she has told that did not see me such happy already for a long time, and does not remember that I was so happy. And I smiled in a dream today at night
because saw you and both of us in a dream. As I think of you all time when I rise. When I eat, when I go for work, when I work, and even when I sleep.
Tony, you became very close to me, and I would like to learn you better. I don`t know as you consider and that you think of it, but I think that you that the man which I searched for all life. I every day wait for your letters, they became for me irreplaceable, and I would like to see more than your photos and especially I wish to see your smile on a photo. I all time represent myself on a photo, where we with you together.
You would would like it, whether not so? When I do not receive your letters I am very strongly afflicted, I worry about that that has occured to you, or me even there are such ideas - "Really Tony played with my feelings?...." But there can be it not so, in fact it is simply impossible, I am right?
I wait, I with impatience wait for your following letter. Write me Tony! I hope tomorrow when I will come and I will look e-mail having found your letter
I shall fill the heart with your warm words.
Hello my lovely Tony!
I am very glad to receive your letter today. How are you today? I am fine, and I am feel that to me becomes better when I receive and I read your letters.
My dear Tony, today your letter has again warmed my heart and on my face there was a smile. Thanks for you didn`t forget me.
Tony to me not important that that you the invalid. The main thing that you the good person and this main thing. I do not understand about what swindlers you to me speak. Explain to me.
Tony, I do not know as to start to speak you, whether but I wished to ask you you had any relations with women?
It is very important question for me, and I would like to know, you can had more the best attitudes with other girls than with me?
And if you have now any attitudes with other girls and if I stir to these attitudes tell to me please about it.
Mine dear Tony, I shall not stir to your attitudes, and we can communicate further as friends though I start to feel that we begin more than friends.
I try to forget about it, but I cannot forget it as this question most of all interests me.
I ask you about it because I could not find the man for serious attitudes here in Russia. And I have already started to think that at us in the country to men sex is important only and it is more than anything. It are not important family, the future children are not important, and such feelings as love, romantic attitudes are not important. As-as if the woman it only any subject for using. They do not understand feelings to the woman, and they do not understand that the most important wants in exchange from them any girl. Or there can be I search not in that place.
Can somewhere in the world there is such a man which is capable to love, respect, concern me to me as to the woman and to not give someone in insult, to not break and to not break heart, to give only happiness, tenderness, passion, love and caress.
And I think that woman and the man who will love each other they can be together, and they will aspire to it even if they are divided with many miles, mountains and oceans, and many other barrier. Because for love there are no barrier. And how are you think about it Tony?
I think that it so, in fact for love there are not barrier and distinctions in the age of, love this very raised feeling.
In fact people are ready to go for the sake of love on greater victims, and the some people even risk the life to achieve love. For me it seems very romantic, that people are capable of all for the sake of love.
For me would be happiness when the loving man for me does such simple things as: Kisses me or When I wake up or it wakes up,
To do the friend for the friend favourite dishes, To help each other with difficult situations, and to solve all problems together, and all to do together, To meet me from work and every day to see off me home, To not recollect anything bad and to think only about good.
I think, that I can make it. Tony, you could be such the man in my life? You would agree with it? You are very much like me.
I feel that you can give me that love which to me is necessary and to become my knight. I think that if we could spend time together.
For example, a romantic supper at candles? Or a trip together on picnic on the nature? Or pleasant and passionate weekend at home? How are you think Tony?
I wish to ask you Tony. You are communicate with other girls now? You the good person and I think that at us the big future.
But me interestingly that you feel? You can communicate with other girls? Tell to me fairly, I shall understand. Tell to me about your dreams, well?
I send you the photos, I hope to you to be pleasant.
I hope to hear your answer soon,
Your gentle Nataliya.
Hello my dear Tony!
I am very glad to receive your letter, and I I thank you for your sincere words..
It is very interesting for me learnig more about you. I adore to read your letters, this letters are so nice and gentle for my heart.
I save them in my heart and I in my mind only your words. Each letter give a peace of happiness. Your word give me a good mood and I smile often when I
read your letter. I have made for you house photos, I hope to you will be pleasant and also you will send me the.
Today the weather is very nice, but there is not a sun and is nasty. And my mood was is is a little bad while I have not read through your letter.
If you not against that that we with you have talked about our last attitudes tell to me a little about the last attitudes.
Did you have many women in your life? Why do you not together now? What reason of your parting? But if you do not wish to speak it to me you can not speak
me about it, I shall understand all. I shall tell to you about the last attitudes. In my life was a few guys, but all at them had a general bad behaviour,
the purposes and character. All of them wanted from me only one, they wanted only sex and it is more than anything. All of them like alcoholic drinks.
Some guys drank even too much. They behaved as animals. And certainly our attitudes quickly came to an end. And anybody from them was not worthy me, and there was no sex. Certainly it is very a shame to me to you to speak about it, But I had no sex, even now when to me of 28 years, I was very much disappointed in men here, and it is very a pity to me that I have not found anybody from men who would have with me sincere and fair relations which would last long and in my life such men to which it was not possible would be to trust and which would understand me.
But I think that already has found that the man which me will understand and love as sincere as I. I think that we with you already much more than friends.
And I all time have such feelings similar to love, it seems to me that I have fallen in love with you Tony? I do not understand that occurs to me. But this feeling gives me happiness every day. And what you feel Tony? I hope you you will not laugh over me at that that I still the virgin?
Today I am full of good mood, and to me have very much pleased that we with you have such good acquaintance. It is very pleasant to me to read your sincere and warm letters, and you at all do not understand that they mean for me. I never earlier had acquaintance through letters or the Internet and for me it something new and fine. And it seems to me is very surprising, that feelings of two people reveal and become opened each other.
Both the exchange of ideas and feelings through electronic letters is simply inexpressible feeling. It would seem simple letters and words, but in them it is so much sense and so much feelings. It is simply improbable, how you think Tony? And how you concern to electronic letters? Whether as you think it is possible to create attitudes with the person through electronic letters?
I think that you with frankness can answer this question Tony. On it I finish the letter to you, but I promise that I shall write to you tomorrow more more in detail about the feelings to you.
With best regards Nataliya.
Hello my dear man and my lovely sun Tony!
I am very glad to see your letter today, so it is pleasant to me to receive your letters, As they as beams of the sun the heat warm my heart. I do not understand about what you speak? Explain to me. They cheer me up irrespective of weather in the street and in what mood I would not be. I like all the same to receive your letters, and I am very pleasantly each time to read them. I love your letters, just I adore them!!! To me it becomes very boring if I don`t receive your letters, Last night I looked yesterday at stars in the sky. I each time leave on a balcony and I look at them.
There are three things on which person can to look very long, are stars, water and fire. In them there is any mysterious force which draws a sight of the
person as the magnet draws iron. Also in your letters there is any force which draws me to you, in your words any force is concealled.
That only one your words suffice to draw my attention and to transfer those feelings which you test when write to me the letter.
When I write to you the letter too I try to write to you that most of all excites me and to share the feelings. I try to learn more about you and to tell about myself. And I very much like to learn each time you, that you do and that you feel. My interest to you becomes more and more high. And so yesterday I looked at stars. You know that for each person in the sky has the star. And if the person dies, the star falls from the sky.
And I searched for the star and yours, I think that they are located by a number, or even together.
Because I feel you, I belive to you and know that you always sincerely with me and never me will deceive. I feel that we understand one another though I not in perfection own English, but I can understand one another. We understand our ideas, our imaginations.
We feel one another and even the distance can not an obstacle to us. Tony, after I have lain on a bed I did not think that sleep at once and have not witched off light.
But a bit later after I have lain I have fallen asleep. Mum has seen that at me shine light and has gone to a room.
She has told that at night I slept and smiled, on my face there was a happiness. I know why. Because at night I saw dream in which we with you went on park. We held one another for hands, spoke, communicated. Tony, you joked also I much laughed.
We have not come nearly in a pool of water, but in time it have noticed and have bypassed. In the sky stars shined and shined to us road. I felt like perfectly, especial when you have lifted me on hands. There there were steps downwards, to a fountain, and you have lifted me and have attributed directly to it. And you have kissed me!!! I have felt your love.
Your tenderness, my heart has flashed fire and I would wake up what to kiss you on the present but you were not. It was dream and I have overlooked about it. You see dreams of us? Tell to me them, I very much want to learn them more! It would be fine if it was a reality. And I hope that it happen.
I want kiss you Tony! You pleases that I send you every day the photos? I will hope that soon you will see me the eyes both I you and we will do our general photos. I am right dear?
Yours and only your loving Nataliya.